Mobile app dev here 🙋‍♂️

Guy at work asking me why his phone feels heavier then mine (we have the same phones)

I just told him that his phone gets heavier with every apps he installs.

1 week later he meets me outside the office and tells me he deleted a lot of apps and his phone is actually lighter know.

Sometimes I just want to cry 😂😂😂

One of my favourite songs. Translated to Python... :-)

#thread
Any Home Assistant fans out there? Got myself a RPi3 a few months ago and got hooked on HA, because of the huge product support and great community. Didn't find any dashboards that I liked so created my own, written in JS, fully customisable and support for most if not all kinds of gadgets. The purpose was to have something easy to use for the whole family, on a wall-mounted tablet. What do you guys think?

Anyways, has anyone done some cool home automations/scripting? Would love to hear about it!

Sure 😂

WHUUUUUT haha

😢 ..damn true...

Just found out dev tools in chrome has a dark theme. Fuck ya.

FUCK! It's so FUCKING HOT. GODDAMN FUCKING SHIT. EVERYTHING IS SO MUCH MORE FUCKING ANNOYING IN THE HEAT. COUPLE THAT WITH THE FACT THAT I SUCK ASS AT EVERYTHING I TRY TO DO AND I SNAP AT THE SLIGHTEST THING. I NEED THAT FUCKING DEVRANT STRESS BALL, BEFORE I THROW MY SHITTY BOOK ACROSS THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY MY CONTROLLER, MY LAPTOP, AND MY DESK SOON AFTER.

Fuck.

I coded for 9 hours straight. Super productive day with Java Spring Framework. 😁😊

Now it's time for a reward. Time for my favorite game ever.

*Admin leaves his computer unlocked*

1. Takes a desktop screenshot and flips it and sets it as background.
2. Disables right click.
3. Hides taskbar.
4. Flips the screen.
5. Connects keyboard to another computer close by with screen off.
6. Has the time of the week.

*Hopefully, there is no revenge 😁*

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A "MINI APP" AND NO, JUST BECAUSE YOU THREW A "MINI" IN FRONT OF IT, IT DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY EASIER TO DEVELOP

Who needs a rubber duck when you can have a rubber unicorn?! 🦄❤😍

Project managers think nine women can deliver a baby in one month.

Client: About this QR code for my website, can we change it?
Me: Well we could redirect, but what's wrong with it?
Client: I just dont like the pattern, it's too noisy...
Me: 🙃

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

True 😄

I..
Want..
To murder...
Someone...

Just done building this

Never delete code immediately. Always comment it out first.

This is super childish but it's the gameserver insidstry and karma is a bitch.

TLDR: I hacked my boss

I was working for a gameserver and I did development for about 3 months and was promised pay after the network was released. I followed through with a bunch of dev friends and the guy ended up selling our work. He didn't know that I was aware of this as he tried to tell people to not tell us but one honest person came forward and said he sold our work for about 8x the price of what he owed ALL OF US collectively.

I proceeded to change the server password and when he asked why he couldn't log in I sent him an executable (a crypted remote access tool) and told him it was an "encryption tunnel" that makes ssh and file transfers secure. Being the idiot that he is he opened it and I snagged all of his passwords including his email and I changed them through a proxy on his machine to ensure I wouldn't get two factored with Google. After I was done I deleted system 32 :3

I sent a professional letter to my boss telling him that i will leave after 15 days. He replied saying :
" stop that bullshit "

Me: I’ve been in the web since 2006, of course i know html,css,javascript.
Also me: Google how to center a div.

FUCK PEOPLE ON STACKOVERFLOW ANSWERING JAVASCRIPT QUESTIONS WITH FUCKIN JQUERY SOLUTIONS! IF I EVER WANT JQUERY I WILL TELL YA!

NOW GTFO AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!!!

Got call from extremely angry customer, our product is shit and doesn't work. At all. Important customer so I went to visit.

He had the perfect setup, our product to the left, our competitor's to the right.

He connected the Ethernet cable to their product, it worked. He plugged it out and connected to ours... Nothing. Shit.

I started to debug on the premises, took logs, everything. It seemed like our product didn't receive any data at all. What the fuck? Tried everything, debugged low level, still nothing. Sweating as hell.

After two hours I got a strange feeling. So I swapped place, our product to the right, competitor's to the left. Now OUR product worked, competitor's zilch.

THE FUCKING ETHERNET CABLE HAD A GLITCH. IF YOU BENT IT TO THE RIGHT IT WORKED, IF YOU BENT IT TO THE LEFT IT WAS BROKEN.

I had never seen a customer be this embarrassed in my life. He apologized to me, my boss, his boss, the Queen, everyone.

We got the contract.

Well I guess it's official, I love TypeScript

try {
❤
} catch(e) {
🍺
}

Asshole trying to steal credit for my work. Can't wait for the next meeting to light this shit.

So this client hires me and this person that I'm gonna call 'B'. B deletes my name from the comments and description. Then proceeds to present it as his.

But B can't get it to run now, so they have me have a look at it. B thinks that I don't notice that he is trying to take credit for my shit. Now I'm sitting here with evidence for the next meeting with the client. Ignoring all of B's communications.

Fucking hatttteeee airports... I'm a developer not in fucking sales.

My boss let's me fix bugs at the client

The teacher didn't show up and everybody left, so i did a little painting 😅

*** don't use compiler ***
Question in class today:
int n = 0;
for (int i = 1; i < 10; i++) {
n = n++;
System.out.println(n);
}

what will be printed?