Details
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AboutDeveloper of non-internet systems
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SkillsLinux, C, shell script, etc.
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LocationSweden
Joined devRant on 9/15/2016
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Hey Google, maybe I'd subscribe to YouTube Premium if you weren't throwing midroll ads into my tutorials every 3:45.
It's stupid, because they're trying so hard to annoy me into subscribing that they've done the opposite and annoyed me into NOT subscribing. I'd have considered it before, but ever since their recent changes it's so frickin' annoying that I refuse to subscribe just on principle because I won't financially support those pieces of trash anymore than absolutely necessary.18 -
I had to integrate an internal service. The doc said:
Lorem impsum...
fuck me I had to reverse engineer it.5 -
developer makes a "missed-a-semicolon"-kind of mistake that brings your non-production infrastructure down.
manager goes crazy. rallies the whole team into a meeting to find "whom to hold accountable for this stupid mistake" ( read : whom should I blame? ).
spend 1-hour to investigate the problem. send out another developer to fix the problem.
... continue digging ...
( with every step in the software development lifecycle handbook; the only step missing was to pull the handbook itself out )
finds that the developer followed the development process well ( no hoops jumped ).
the error was missed during the code review because the reviewer didn't actually "review" the code, but reported that they had "reviewed and merged" the code
get asked why we're all spending time trying to fix a problem that occurred in a non-production environment. apparently, now it is about figuring out the root cause so that it doesn't happen in production.
we're ALL now staring at the SAME pull request. now the manager is suddenly more mad because the developer used brackets to indicate the pseudo-path where the change occurred.
"WHY WOULD YOU WASTE 30-SECONDS PUTTING ALL THOSE BRACES? YOU'RE ALREADY ON A BRANCH!"
PS : the reason I didn't quote any of the manager's words until the end was because they were screaming all along, so, I'd have to type in ALL CAPS-case. I'm a CAPS-case-hater by-default ( except for the singular use of "I" ( eye; indicating myself ) )
WTF? I mean, walk your temper off first ( I don't mean literally, right now; for now, consider it a figure of speech. I wish I could ask you to do it literally; but no, I'm not that much of a sadist just yet ). Then come back and decide what you actually want to be pissed about. Then think more; about whether you want to kill everyone else's productivity by rallying the entire team ( OK, I'm exaggerating, it's a small team of 4 people; excluding the manager ) to look at an issue that happened in a non-production environment.
At the end of the week, you're still going to come back and say we're behind schedule because we didn't get any work done.
Well, here's 4 hours of our time consumed away by you.
This manager also has a habit of saying, "getting on X's case". Even if it is a discussion ( and not a debate ). What is that supposed to mean? Did X commit such a grave crime that they need to be condemned to hell?
I miss my old organization where there was a strict no-blame policy. Their strategy was, "OK, we have an issue, let's fix it and move on."
I've gotten involved ( not caused it ) in even bigger issues ( like an almost-data-breach ) and nobody ever pointed a finger at another person.
Even though we all knew who caused the issue. Some even went beyond and defended the person. Like, "Them. No, that's not possible. They won't do such dumb mistakes. They're very thorough with their work."
No one even talked about the person behind their back either ( at least I wasn't involved in any such conversation ). Even later, after the whole issue had settled down. I don't think people brought it up later either ( though it was kind of a hush-hush need-to-know event )
Now I realize the other unsaid-advantage of the no-blame policy. You don't lose 4 hours of your so-called "quarantine productivity". We're already short on productivity. Please don't add anymore. 🙏11 -
Greatest thing just happened.
Get a ticket about orders not being processed in our webshop. Angry customer. Critical!!!!
Starts troubleshooting. Nothing has changed in the code recently, was working just fine yesterday. Works locally and on test server. Hmmm...
Take a chance. Writes back to customer: “there! Try to place an order again” without changing anything.
5 minutes I get back “awesome! Everything works again and all previous orders have appeared. Good work!”.
Happy customer. Happy dev :)
Fin7 -
Why the fuck open source solutions need to be such a load of bullcrap? I've spent a week trying to set up every single self-hosted video conference software, and the only thing I've got is a shorter lifespan.
How the fuck does your (judging by GitHub, well maintained) software only support Ubuntu 16.04? And I mean ONLY, there's no support for docker, or any other distro either, and we're only weeks from getting the second LTS since 16.04. And why the fuck does documentation tell me to manually go through 20 different config files just to enable SSL?
Why the fuck doesn't your official AWS cloudformation template include VPC or other required parameters? I've had to rewrite the whole thing just to get a valid stack you dipshit!
And how fucking hard is to make your software look decent, I can't expect clients to chat with me using something that looks like an incest child of 2003 MSN and eDonkey?
Oh, and it'd be fucking dandy if your documentation wouldn't return 404, maybe I'd be even able to test what your product has to offer?
I guess after everything I've tried I'll go with Jitsi; it seems the most decent, although it lacks some pretty basic features like limiting chat features for guests.22 -
My 2 cents on different OSes to use.
I think Linux is best for running servers and services and having long run times with little issues (when its Console and not GUI based.) But I have a lot of issues with using its GUI distributions like Ubuntu and it feels kind of unpolished in that area.
I prefer macOS for its GUI as it actually works and has far less issues than Windows GUI and is (IMO) better than Linux GUI's by far. But macOS just doesn't feel like it was designed super users and it can feel like its holding you back a bit. Also you have to use Mac hardware which are amazing machines, they are just overpriced.
I prefer Windows for its GUI and despite its problems, it is very well designed for super users and has very well designed remote desktop features and scalability (although it is a pain to maintain.) Windows works well for connected company systems.
In my opion:
Linux: Servers, databases (no GUI)
macOS: Designers, photo/video editing, IT/programmers and general use as a standalone (not part of a company system).
Windows: IT/programmers, super users, general use but better than macOS at working together in a company setup, but macOS is better at being a personal laptop or PC.
I personally use Linux for our email and web servers. Windows for our company computers (designers use Macs) and I have a Macbook as my own personal computer.25 -
Turns out the only thing that was ever needed in order to get IT to fix the VPN was a pandemic outbreak.4
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FML. An overreaching supergenius "architect" and a database team:
A: "We have decided that apps should use mysql. Install a MySQL so we match cloud"
DBA: "we don't have an image or experience with MySQL. We have mssql and Oracle "
A: "ok, use mssql in data center and mysql in production cloud"
DBA: "that's... not going to work well"
A: "just do it!"
...
Me, reading this shit, sends email: "ignoring the fact that we have more than 500 queries in this application which will need to be checked and most likely rewritten, how are we supposed to test the mysql queries without production access?"
A: "just use mssql local and MySQL in cloud"
M: "... Just to make sure I understand, you want us to write queries for mssql, test them locally, and then write separate queries, with a separate SQL connection abstraction that deploys to production? Again, how are we going to test this?"
A: "no, use same queries, should be fine"
M: "they really won't, they're different dialects"
A: "do the needful, make work!"
If karma were a thing, this person would have long since exploded into a cloud of atomized blood.18 -
So this post is going to target an irritating aspect of a specific culture based on observational evidence over the last 20 years, and has reared its hideous face yet again. If you're triggered by that, stop reading here.
I'm flatly fed up with two-faced onshore Desi coworkers. They make up 95% of my colleagues and the following sequence of events has played out repeatedly over the course of my career, consistently, though it's slightly more pronounced in other women for whatever reason :
1. Work with them for years, good relationship, teach them all sorts of skills (which I will do freely for anyone, for any reasons as I view it to be a moral imperative), general lifting up and solid teamwork.
2. They move up in the hierarchy, generally to management, usually project
3. The second they view themselves as higher in the pecking order they start treating me like shit as if we have no history. Rude, commanding, unwilling to share details, obligatory exasperated thank yous if any at all, not interested in anything I have to say even if I'm the noted expert on the subject.
I understand a lot of their etiquette culture, specifically the level of "directness" or politeness they employ is based on the estimated risk of loss in the interaction. I find that disgusting, but I understand that academically. I just can't get my mind around how universal this shiftiness is, as it happens over and over again. It's like human decency and respect go out the window the second they don't feel like they have anything to gain from you. In *my* culture that is the lowest form of behavior a human can exhibit, and it causes me to rage because I can't imagine being so utterly devoid of altruism.
Fuck. It's just so sickening. It's fucking debased, and selfish and greedy and fuck. I can't even, this is one of those things that so irrational my mind can't accept it and I just go around and around on it.
Tl;dr you want to get throat punched? Because that's how you get throat punched. It's definitely getting this person doxxed to USCIS12 -
I fucking hate this cute little hack my company thinks it's found where if they schedule a meeting at lunchtime in the lunchroom they think it counts as a lunch break9
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I am about to fire this client.
I can't take any more of this abject fucking stupidity.
I can't take any more sentence fragment responses to detailed questions and thorough responses.
I can't take any more expectations that I deliver consistent metadata and hundreds of pages of documentation, yet no one else has to do the same
I can't take any more rules only applying to/hamstringing me and my team
I can't take any more fucking gross incompetence and grossly undereducated shitfucks that get to send ridiculous bills and have 0 accountability while playing developer
I can't take any more obviously nepotistic and racist hiring that walks back every step of progress we've made in the last 50 years
I can't take not being able to call a spade a spade and being the villain when there's obvious graft occuring at every level
I can't take these old fucks padding their retirements while rendering everyone else contractors and cutting off opportunity for future generations
I can't take how absurdly, blisteringly stupid the business people are, or the fact that one average project managers with a recent PMI cert somehow bills what I do
I'm 100% going to drop dime on these fucks to every regulatory body they are beholden to, their investors, their corporate owners and USCIS, since I've already doxxed the shit out of all of my coworkers that don't remotely qualify for the positions they occupy.5 -
Me: ... and those are my perfectly explained recommendations to give our customer the UX they need for their e-commerce store - it should only take about a day of work
CEO: why can’t we just give them a good experience, why is this so difficult?
Me: .... ** thinking maybe he didn’t hear over the Webex, starts again for the third time** well, these are my 3 recommendations, 1 .....
<me dying inside little by little> -
Fucking gimmicks.
You know what the worst experience in technology is? A virtual keyboard. FUCK typing on a smooth piece of glass.
What's the solution? Attachable real keyboard. That blocks the bottom of the screen. Making it a normal laptop. Fuck off.7 -
The overreach by a single company near or close to near monopoly on the internet is beyond bone chilling.
To be precise, I am talking about Google extending its reach by forcing people to use AMP in the webpages.
I get insta furious when i see my favorite webpages using them and effectively my entire browsing activity on that page is happily recorded for clicks and ads.
To just bypass that i have to unnecessarily add more and more addons to lock them out of my browsing which in turn WEAKENS my entire browser.
And sincerely saying, this sort of outreach is becoming really annoying. Because plain JS and Cookie Blocking will not work. and slowly people are running out of options.
If posts about AMP are being made earlier, I apologize.8 -
We have a bunch of white people in human resources that are trying to hire "diverse" people because the company sets HR diversity targets. Which is an inherently racist way of hiring someone.
I am told to interview this guy who claims to have Angular experience. Before the interview I ask to see a form that he has built in Angular. He sends me a repo which is ripped off of an open source project and has the readme and git commits removed. A quick web search shows that it isn't his work. He shows up to the interview and I find out he is from a Southern African country. I deliberately ask some questions about code that I can see he didn't write that I prepared ahead of time. He lies to me and tells me all about how he wrote it which showed me that he has no idea what the code does. I tell HR they better not hire him because he was very comfortable lying to me, and I'm confident that he doesn't understand any of the code that he showed me. I do not trust this guy and would never choose to work with him. HR lady says "Ah okay."
Today he walks in with a big grin on his face. HR lady fucking hired this guy. I can see his monitors from my desk and he spent his whole first day looking at a soccer website on his second monitor. I call up HR, "Why would you even ask me to interview him if you refuse to listen to my feedback?". Lady tells me "You need to be open minded about diversity. Probably most of the things you observed were either cultural differences or language barrier." I tell her definitely not. He lied to me multiple times, and he took credit for other people's work." She tells me that they will keep an eye on me because I'm not being open to diversity.
Are you kidding me? This white lady is literally stereotyping me as a racist because I'm white.
So this fucking HR lady called me a racist because she decided to hire someone that we shouldn't trust. Then she put this asshat on my project. Now I have to be cautious about my position because HR is "watching" my racist ass. Even though I am literally the only one on the development team that is white and speaks English as my first-language. I called a team meeting before the on-boarding is over so I can tell the other developers what is happening. We restructured our code review process so that I will never give him feedback. Then when the time comes that he slips up the "diverse" developers will kick him out so I won't be reprimanded as a "racist".
This company that I work for is a special kind of stupid.34 -
Cheat Engine's installer's EULA:
```
15) You may disassemble and reverse engineer any part of this program, although just looking at the sourcecode is easier
```
appreciate the honesty2 -
A while ago I was agressively interrupted by a colleague while chatting to another (more sane) colleague as he overheard us merely discussing using message queues to solve some issues we were facing. I was told these decisions were not up to me and had to be "lifted to a higher level and discussed amongst the entire team".
8 months later we all receive an email where the same guy proposes the exact same solution to solve our issues.3 -
> *WordPress website gets down Error 500: Cannot establish Connection with database*
> Marketing loses their shit: "We need the website up and working right now"
> *Me being calm *: "Nope, we cannot it's the service provider error, there's nothing we can do"
> *MK.G*: "Alright then, switch to another ISP ASAP"
> *Me, Internal rage, a volcano erupts *: "Umm..so you want to spend more money on another hosting because this one has an outage of 48 hours?"
>*MK.G *: "Yes, because we cannot run Facebook ads, just because website is down"
>*Internal lmao*: "Alright, but by the time you purchase a new service provider and host, the website will be up and running plus since the database is down we cannot migrate"
>*MK.G*: "I don't care, just make it up and working"
>*Me chilling*: "Alright, give me few hours"
> after a few hours the website is working *me being badass even though I didn't do anything*13 -
So a server goes down and being the only person who can recover it, I get started, whilst doing this the boys sits right next to me (6 inches) and starts asking what caused the problem instead of letting me get on and fix it, then complains the outage was too long.
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So, with couple of new people in senior managerial roles, pink slips started flying left and right before the holiday season. That didn't happen before in the company. It's still relatively small and when people left that was for better paid or more interesting work.
While I can understand that from the business perspective and especially for a few who might have been considered dead weight (devs and other roles), I have a serious problem with the way it was handled. It's one of those 5 minute notices. If we weren't remote, I guess escorting out by security would follow.
Most recent person to go is actually one of the most senior devs at the position that became redundant over time, as it clashed in the "pyramid" with another dev. He was involved in many aspects of the product and greatly contributed to the overall success during years of hard work, i'd say maybe more than any of us.
He didn't fuck up anything major as far as I know, his services were just not needed anymore, compared to the other guy. Saving money. I get that.
At T-1 day he prepared a demo of his project. Meetings, Slack, everything as usual. Next thing we got was a "we wish him well in future endeavours" e-mail.
What I find most disturbing is the fact his account was removed immediately, and then we were asked to get any files and anything else we might need, all over personal communication channels (private e-mail, Skype etc.) because he was locked out of all company accounts.
I seem to have have survived this year. One thing they have definitely achieved, based on some off the record chat and some public updates, tweets etc I can see, is for many of us to start networking, polishing CVs and generally stop giving many fucks about the company and the outcome.
I've myself started brushing up on some new skills (stacks) and some old ones (algorithms, etc.) I may need any day now, as it seems.
If they can basically tell "thank you and fuck off" to one person maybe most involved with the company growth, with zero dignity and respect for the person, then fuck them.4 -
My employer tried to install my app in his IPhone X and he scold me why the apk not supported. I explain to him that apk is for Android. He yelled :” don’t give me shit , you don’t have a degree on this so shut up, I do have, apk are universal because it is coded in Java18
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So my car has a problem with a steering column lock. Sometimes the actuator pops an error and it does not unlock until I clear that buggar. Carrying a lappy with vag-com seems somewhat annoying so I got a obdeleven bluetooth dongle with am app.
Once you get it to work it works perfectly. Have been using it for a few years now. It's like a half a year or so since it got a last update and it's been stable as a rock since.
Today me and my fam took a night out with a car. Drove here, drove there, had fun. Time to go home, as the little one is getting sleepy. Got in a car, insert a key, turn it -- no ignition. Damn that steering lock!
So I pop in a dongle, open the app, hit connect,... Wait, what is that? A toast with "a new update is available. [[update now]] [[cancel]]".
Cancel ofc, I need to go home asap! Will gladly get the update when the kiddo is in his bed!
[[cancel]]. The toast disappears. Okay, now [[connect]]
"a new update is available. [[update now]] [[cancel]]"
mother f#$@%!!! Allright already, [[update]] it ffs.
Updated the app. Now [[connect]].
Loading.. Loading... "could not connect to device"
tfq?!?
Reinsert the dongle, connect
restart the app, connect
restart the phone, connect
clear all bt devices, connect
do the rain dance, connect.
Permission to panic: GRANTED.
Dear devs. If you are rolling out an update -- never ever EVER make it non-postponable, non-cancelable. No matter how critical, your updates must NEVER be mandatory.6