Details
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AboutI don't like tea, does that mean tea is not my cup of tea?
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SkillsC++, Python, JavaScript, ROS, Deep Learning, Computer Vision
Joined devRant on 9/23/2017
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I'm the git master in my group for a uni project as I am the only one with some experience.
This is what I have to deal with20 -
buzzword translations:
"cloud" -> someones computer
"big data" -> lots of somewhat irrelevant data
"ai" -> if if if if if if if if if if if if if else
"algorithm" -> something that works but you don't know why
"secure" -> https://
"cyber security" -> kali linux + black hoodie
"innovation" -> adding something completely irrelevant such as making a poop emoji talk
"blockchain" -> we make lots of backups
"privacy" -> we store your data, we just don't tell you about it40 -
"Remember that script you made a few years ago? How did you make it work with product x?"
Dude, I can barely remember how I brewed coffee this morning.7 -
Hey Mm...Morty. What are you doing?
Oh gee Rick, I’m just...you know...using Linux and telling the internet how that makes me better than them.
Morty, you rr...realize that it...it...doesn’t matter what OS you use Morty. Y...y...you’re still a piece of shit Morty. I can prove it...burp...mathematically Morty. In the grand scheme of the universe...y...y...you are a bubble sort algorithm surrounded by quick sorts Morty.
Oh gee Rick.14 -
Time spent on Web Development :
1% : {
actual productive content and features
}
99% : {
Please. All I want is for this div to vertically align in this other one. Is that too much to ask?
}13 -
I want to pay respects to my favourite teacher by far.
I turned up at university as a pretty arrogant person. This was because I had about 6 years of self-taught programming experience, and the classes started from the ansolute basics. I turned up to my first classes and everything was extremely easy. I felt like I wouldn't learn anything for at least a year.
Then, I met one of my lecturers for the first time. He was about 50~60 years old and had been programming for all of his career. He was known by everyone to be really strict and we were told by other lecturers that it could be difficult for some people to be his student.
His classes were awesome. He was friendly, but took absolutely no shit, and told everything as it was. He had great stories from his life, which he used to throw out during the more boring computer science topics. He had extremely strict rules for our programming style, and bloody good reasons for all of them. If we didn't follow a clear rule on an assignment, he'd give us 0%. To prove how well this worked, nobody got 0%.
We eventually learned that he was that way because he used to work on real-time systems for the military, where if something didn't work then people could die.
This was exactly what I needed. In around one semester I went from a capable self-taught kid, to writing code that was clear, maintainable and fast, without being hacky.
I learned so much in just that small time, and I owe it all to him. So often when I write code now I think back to his rules. Even if I disagree with some, I learned to be strict and consistent.
Sadly, during the break between our first and second year, he passed away due to illness. There was so many lessons still to be learned from him, and there's now no teachers with enough knowledge to continue his best modules like compiler writing.
He is greatly missed, I've never had greater respect for a teacher than for him.21 -
!rant
After over 20 years as a Software Engineer, Architect, and Manager, I want to pass along some unsolicited advice to junior developers either because I grew through it, or I've had to deal with developers who behaved poorly:
1) Your ego will hurt you FAR more than your junior coding skills. Nobody expects you to be the best early in your career, so don't act like you are.
2) Working independently is a must. It's okay to ask questions, but ask sparingly. Remember, mid and senior level guys need to focus just as much as you do, so before interrupting them, exhaust your resources (Google, Stack Overflow, books, etc..)
3) Working code != good code. You are an author. Write your code so that it can be read. Accept criticism that may seem trivial such as renaming a variable or method. If someone is suggesting it, it's because they didn't know what it did without further investigation.
4) Ask for peer reviews and LISTEN to the critique. Even after 20+ years, I send my code to more junior developers and often get good corrections sent back. (remember the ego thing from tip #1?) Even if they have no critiques for me, sometimes they will see a technique I used and learn from that. Peer reviews are win-win-win.
5) When in doubt, do NOT BS your way out. Refer to someone who knows, or offer to get back to them. Often times, persons other than engineers will take what you said as gospel. If that later turns out to be wrong, a bunch of people will have to get involved to clean up the expectations.
6) Slow down in order to speed up. Always start a task by thinking about the very high level use cases, then slowly work through your logic to achieve that. Rushing to complete, even for senior engineers, usually means less-than-ideal code that somebody will have to maintain.
7) Write documentation, always! Even if your company doesn't take documentation seriously, other engineers will remember how well documented your code is, and they will appreciate you for it/think of you next time that sweet job opens up.
8) Good code is important, but good impressions are better. I have code that is the most embarrassing crap ever still in production to this day. People don't think of me as "that shitty developer who wrote that ugly ass code that one time a decade ago," They think of me as "that developer who was fun to work with and busted his ass." Because of that, I've never been unemployed for more than a day. It's critical to have a good network and good references.
9) Don't shy away from the unknown. It's easy to hope somebody else picks up that task that you don't understand, but you wont learn it if they do. The daunting, unknown tasks are the most rewarding to complete (and trust me, other devs will notice.)
10) Learning is up to you. I can't tell you the number of engineers I passed on hiring because their answer to what they know about PHP7 was: "Nothing. I haven't learned it yet because my current company is still using PHP5." This is YOUR craft. It's not up to your employer to keep you relevant in the job market, it's up to YOU. You don't always need to be a pro at the latest and greatest, but at least read the changelog. Stay abreast of current technology, security threats, etc...
These are just a few quick tips from my experience. Others may chime in with theirs, and some may dispute mine. I wish you all fruitful careers!221 -
I hired a woman for senior quality assurance two weeks ago. Impressive resume, great interview, but I was met with some pseudo-sexist puzzled looks in the dev team.
Meeting today. Boss: "Why is the database cluster not working properly?"
Team devs: "We've tried diagnosing the problem, but we can't really find it. It keeps being under high load."
New QA: "It might have something to do with the way you developers write queries".
She pulls up a bunch of code examples with dozens of joins and orderings on unindexed columns, explains that you shouldn't call queries from within looping constructs, that it's smart to limit the data with constraints and aggregations, hints at where to actually place indexes, how not to drag the whole DB to the frontend and process it in VueJS, etc...
New QA: "I've already put the tasks for refactoring the queries in Asana"
I'm grinning, because finally... finally I'm not alone in my crusade anymore.
Boss: "Yeah but that's just that code quality nonsense Bittersweet always keeps nagging about. Why is the database not working? Can't we just add more thingies to the cluster? That would be easier than rewriting the code, right?"
Dev team: "Yes... yes. We could try a few more of these aws rds db.m4.10xlarge thingies. That will solve it."
QA looks pissed off, stands up: "No. These queries... they touch the database in so many places, and so violently, that it has to go to therapy. That's why it's down. It just can't take the abuse anymore. You could add more little brothers and sisters to the equation, but damn that would be cruel right? Not to mention that therapy isn't exactly cheap!"
Dev team looks annoyed at me. My boss looks even more annoyed at me. "You hired this one?"
I keep grinning, and I nod.
"I might have offered her a permanent contract"45 -
People who send an email saying "I'm getting an error message".
WHERE DID YOU GET IT?!
WHAT IS THE FUCKING ERROR MESSAGE?!
OH NO SURE LET ME LOOK IN MY CRYSTAL BALL, I'LL HAVE IT FIGURED OUT FOR YOU IN NO FUCKING TIME.
😡20 -
Professor : Explain deadlock and I will give you full marks.
Me:- You give me full marks and I'll explain deadlock.20 -
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠃⠙⠉⠙⠷⢻⣴⣤⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠄⠀⠠⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠺⣻⣢ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⠀⢀⡄⠀⠀⠈⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠗⠆ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠖⠉⠀⠀⠉⠑⢢ ⠀⢀⠤⠤⢌⡮⣐⠤⠤⡤⠔⢹⠀⠀⠀⠴⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⡜⡐⠈⠉⠗⣌⠀⢠⠊⢀⠄⠈⠢⣀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠜ ⢃⢇⠀⠀⠀⠒⡓⡪⣈⣀⣀⠀⠑⠠⠉⠉⠉ ⠈⢊⢖⡄⡀⠀⠀⠁⢉⣒⣑⠊⠛⠒⠤⡰⡀ ⠀⠀⠁⠓⠫⢥⢲⡀⡈⠙⢿⣷⣆⠀⠀⡁⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠐⠋⠬⠎⠿⠿⠤⢐⠕⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠈⠉
I turned myself into a rant Morty, I'm rant Rick!13 -
Another dev on my team just got a new machine. Before he came in today I made two separate USB installers and left him these notes.60
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So, someone submitted a 'bug' to Mozilla.
As some of you may know, in the next year, the new mass surveillance law in the Netherlands is going into effect.
Another fun fact is that the dutch security agencies/government have their own CA (Certificate Authority) for SSL/TLS certificates.
The new law says that the AIVD (dutch NSA/GCHQ equivilant) is allowed to hack into systems through obtained certificates and also that they're allowed to INTERCEPT TRAFFIC THROUGH OBTAINED PRIVATE SSL/TLS KEYS.
So someone actually had the fucking balls to submit a fucking issue to Mozilla saying that the Dutch State certs shouldn't be accepted anymore when the new mass surveillance law gets into place.
This person deservers a fucking medal if you ask me.68 -
Halloween joke, anyone?
"If you want a slutty costume for Halloween, you should go as my professor. He barely covers anything important" 😁9 -
This is fucking annoying with some clients.
Client calls:
Me: Hello, how can I help you?
Client: *explains problem*
Me: *tells possible solution*
Client: you sound young, could you connect me to a more senior person?
Me: Sure.
Collegue: Hello, how can I help you?
Client: *explains problem again*
Collegue: *gives same solution as me*
Client: Oh uhm but that's the same solution the boy I had on the phone before you told me.
Collegue: Yeah......?
Client: well he sounded so young...
Collegue: Being young does not equal being inexperienced/less knowing about something.39