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Search - "crying inside"
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Dells XPS are made of magic. [long story, major fuckup, 10k+ damages]
It all started in December. One morning I was late to work, drove there as fast as possible. (I live like 3 minutes away so me being late really meant *late*) Parked my car in a secluded car park, grabbed my backpack and ran to work. The car park is like 100 meters away from work so I took my feet into my hands and ran. Next thing I know my heels loose all grip while I go down a small slope and I drop on my back full force. On a sharp edged stone. With only my 1700$ XPS in it. Fuck.
I paniced, but got up and ran to work. I checked on the notebook, praying it would boot. It booted! Holy shit. I flipped the notebook and saw two small dents in the aluminum shell. I was thorougly impressed. I later discovered that it left a small shadow on the display, but given what a hit that was (I am not exactly a lightweight), impressive would be a massive understatement.
Fast forward to February, I am weighing my options to get the screen replaced maybe, as damage on my hardware (even if neglectable) triggers some sort of OCD and makes me feel bad 24/7. Also my laptop tends to shut off from time to time, looked into the Event Viewer and saw kernel panic. I figured that the battery probably still took a hit and that it drops voltage from time to time and the kernel assumes a critical situation, thus shutting off.
It stayed quite snowy in Austria up until March, so occasional snowing wasn't rare. Got out of work one day, saw it snowed a bit. Whatever. I had my moms car at the time, so I tried if it would slide a bit if I donut on the now (5pm) empty parking space. Nothing. Drove done a small hill, ABS triangle lit up red (board computer can't outbalance the snow). I drove out to the main street where everything was salted and drove along towards my house. Took a turn into my street, accelerated for a bit and then went off the gas so the car would smoothly drive along with the speed slowly degrading. So I went off the gas and noticed I was a bit to the right, no wonder, centrifugal forces.
*steers left*
"Huh seems like I need a bit more"
*car still doesnt move much*
"What the- go to the left!"
*steers left hard*
"Fuck that wall is coming closer"
*Breaks*
*car doesnt break*
"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!"
Everything got quiet in seconds, me waking up to an open airbag, ripped pants, a hurting wrist, the radio somewhere on the ground and fumes that smellt like burning wires. I grabbed my backpack that was now somewhere on the floor instead of on the seat and ran outside, tears in my eyes and the phone on my ear calling my mom. I walked inside as she walked outside, hearing a weeping scream that I haven't heard from her since I am alive. While walking inside I noticed my backpack was wet on the bottom, my 2 litre water jug shattered when my backpack hit the dashboard. I tried to stay calm and act rational, knowing that every second counts when It comes to water damage. I hastely searched for some rice and a bag to put my laptop into, stuffed the bag with both and went outside. The car was totaled, my mom pissed and crying. And I was in shock, sad, angry and hurting.
I kept the laptop on my heater for a few days, bagged in rice. I dared to try a boot after a while and you wont believe me, it fucking booted. Even the keyboard backlight worked, just the screen was obviously broken in the back (no color distortion or bad pixel rows though!!) and the aluminum shell had a dent on the front. I talked with Dell Support a few days later, asking if it would be ok to open the XPS up so I could drain all of the water. She said yes thats fine, as long as I dont touch anything or screw around with it.
She said I can send it in and get it checked, but the pickup and analysis will cost 150$ and I can go from there.
I sent it in and estimated that, because battery, screen and other things probably needed changing, it will be around 900$.
Got a call a few weeks later:
"Hello beggarboy, the repair team reported back to us and said that they will have to replace everything, which will be 1700$."
"Fuck... Buying a new one is cheaper.."
"Yeah I know I am sorry about that, I can offer you a voucher so you can buy a new one for 250$ off if you would prefer that"
"Sorry but I will need some time to consider"
"I understand."
The agent clearly noticed I was bummed about it.
After going back and forth what to do I got another call a few days later.
"Hello beggarboy, we talked a few days ago. I have good news"
"Hello, yes, speak up?"
"I was able to get a special offer for you after putting in a few words..."
The next thing she said seemed unreal to me.
She was able to cut 600$ (!!!), making the new offer 1100$, instead of 1700$ or a new one for 1500$. I figured the reason she probably did that was because I am always very polite with support members. Always.
My XPS is back and healty again.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Dells XPS are made of magic.13 -
*We colleagues were cursing Valentine's week*
Team Lead : Committed?
Me: No, I am single.
TL: *confused look* Did you committed that code?
Me: ohh yes! I raised the merge request as well.
TL: Ok. I will review it. *Moves away smiling inside*
Me: *looking at screen* *crying inside*6 -
A young man was walking along in the forest, when he heard a muffled voice crying for help from behind a log. He leaned over to see a frog sitting in the mud.
The frog looked up at him and said, "I'm actually a beautiful princess, and if you kiss me, I'll transform back into my true self, and be yours for eternity."
Silently, the man scooped up the frog and continued on his walk.
A minute or two later, the frog piped up again, "Hey, buddy, maybe you didn't hear me -- I said, if you kiss me, I'll turn into a princess. What are you waiting for?"
Annoyed, the man stuffed the frog into his coat pocket.
Shocked, the frog yelled from inside the man's pocket, "What the hell? I'm a princess! All you have to do is kiss me!"
Opening his pocket and peering in, the man said, "Listen -- I'm a software engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog is kind of cool."3 -
In Italy (Milan)🇮🇹, job hunting is a fucking hell for misfits like me:
• Young(26)
• 1 year(working) experience + continuous learning/improvement at home
• Skillful and adaptable full-stack
• Willing to do greater things with software without being payed like a monkey
This is the last week working at my current company (from which I rejected the renewal of the contract for 26K€/13 months) and almost every time at a new interview everyone tries to down sell me by default or because of the fucking little time that I've been inside companies without even looking at my skills/capabilities.
Also many little companies made by the CEO and a technical manager that are looking for someone from which being provided food 😒(metaphorically).
(On another side, in one month, me and my gf need to move to a new apartment, the renting process sucks, and she has issues to find a non-slavering job because she is a foreigner(with good knowledge of English and Chinese) with very basic understanding of Italian and I see her crying often in my arms because it's hard and stressful for her to become economically independent as she would like to be)45 -
Joined a new company...
It's been a week since I joined.I feel like shit.
There are over 20 employees, however I didn't had a chance to chat with a single person for more than a minute or two. Not a single meaningful or even a shitty but personal conversation. I'm trying to strike up conversations whenever I can, but there are no possibilities to do so. I think they have a few chat groups where I'm not added. At lunch time they suddenly start running to a guy that gathers the money to buy lunch, i saw that and joined, but I'm 99% sure they are communicating/speaking on some kind of chat.
I joined as a front-end developer, however I'm not sure if I'm a junior or whatever here. On the first day they showed me the system, they are using PHP and jquery + es6, the structure is messy and I'm not used to it It should be MVC-like, but messier, but it's not like anything I have seen. I usually work with opencart / cakePHP style systems. There are js files with a lot of custom funcions and sometimes there are functions that have mixed jquery and es6 inside script tags top or bottom of the view files. There are a lot of code that I don't understand, on the third day they gave me a task - to remodel a view (basically one page in the cms) I did it, but they didn't check up on me untill the next day, I gave them some notes on the task I finished, and I started making some of the code easier to read for myself after I was done. They didn't really gave me a new task, and I don't know what to do, don't have anyone to ask about what to do, because there are only 2 developers here, and the other guy is on vacation. The boss is also a coder, but he's never here and I feel like I shouldn't be asking him stupid coding questions, because you know.. He's a boss. I understand a lot more of their PHP code then their js/jquery. I feel like I'm stupid and I don't know what I am doing here and what I will be doing here in the future. I did move across the country to join this company, and if this won't work out i have a rent contract signed for a year. Today I was looking at the clock for the last 2 hours of the work day and waiting untill I could get out of there. To say that I feeling like shit would be an understatement.
I don't have anyone whom I could ask for coding advice outside of the company. Fuck.I have worked in a few companies before, but there was always an introduction to the staff, and or the working environment and usually there was a person that I could ask questions on the regular. This company is bigger however and I'm not an emotional guy whatsoever, but I feel like I will start crying.rant weird company shitty situation new company problems junior developer junior problems weird colleagues new company depression7 -
f**king people asking to design admin panel colorfully with these f**king psd images, I was like literally crying inside, I have never seen such a damn f**king admin panel. f**k off managers5
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Rant
So a couple months ago, my dad called me to try and solve a problem he was having in his work.
You see, my dad owns a driving school and he was teaching 14 and 15yo kids how to ride mopeds and their theory exams are made in the school's facility, by going to this website of the entity that rules the moped teaching thing. When the time to have the exams came, they couldn't even see the exams and one of the kids had one of his attempts wasted (they had 3 attempts). We mailed and called the entity multiple times, to no avail, as they told us to "check the website, the instructions are all there". They were also trying to get it together but they couldn't. Here's the "funny" part: the software in which the exams were done ran on XP and there was no way in hell we could make it work on our W10 PCs. Not to mention this is a natiowide problem.
We reinstalled Java to v.7.9 (I think...?) as the "instructions" told us, with no results whatsoever.
So my dad decided to call me and asked me to bring a PC that didn't run W10. The closest thing to XP I could think of was my uncle's Toshiba, that had Vista, so I went to his house and grabbed it and drove to my dad's school. Even in compatibility mode, it didn't work. Everyone was in despair LoL. I was even put on the phone with the entity's technician, who didn't know how to solve it either but was trying, as well with our tech guy.
After a bit of running around and crying inside, our secretary remembered we still had a tower on site that ran XP. We went for the thing and connected it and booted it up. After reinstalling Java and setting security to "medium" (required), and meddling with zoom (the window was too small to show the whole exam and if the window showed up before we set the zoom to 75% or so we couldn't choose the answers) it was finally set to do the exams.
I've never felt so relieved for solving tech stuff LoL. It took me 3h to get it done and I feel it would have been easier if we had remembered about the tower earlier but oh well what can one do.8 -
Two years ago, a government agency hired an applicant with obviously lesser experience (a fresh graduate for crying out loud) than mine for a developer job (with 13 years of foundation). He was hired because he had connections inside this agency.
Recently, I heard that this guy is starting to be a pain in the neck. Who wouldn't be?!?! The guy has got connections inside. He's untouchable. And it's irreversible. Sad story.10 -
Fuckin RAZER. Part 2. "SOLVED!!!"
This will be both a rant and a shout out.
Firslty, fuck RAZER. I don't who in the actual fuck makes the software for these peripherals, but while the hardware is decent the entire software team should be tarred and fucking feathered. Just beaten bloody with a rubber hose. And then publicly paraded and shamed through whatever backwater shithole they call home all while their mothers look on crying their eyes out.
Anyway, some of you may be familiar with my Razer peripherals on Mac saga.
To refresh your memories... I got 4 razer devices for my b-day from my wife. I was very stoked. They work great on Windows 10. They work for shit on Mac and the software to manage their colors, Synergy 3, is not available on Mac, and the version that is, Synergy 2, basically does not work and hasn't worked for like two years and would only work for two of these peripherals anyway and it would appear Razer does not give a shit. Fuck.
Ok, we caught up? Good.
In our last episode I ran up a full Windows 10 VM AND a full Debian VM just so I could jumpstart these god damn peripherals into a solid color.
Why so much work?
Because by default they rotate the color spectum fucking SEPARATELY... so it's just a god awful mess of rando RGB.
So, by running Synergy 3 on the Windows side, and then an open source package called Poloychromatic on the Debian side I was able to patch together preferences through the two programs... and I found quitting out of them hard kept the keyboard, mouse, mousemat, and dock color settings until the next reboot while working on my Mac.
For WEEKS I WENT THROUGH THIS FUCKING PROCESS AT EVERY REBOOT.
Reboot. Run up Windows 10 VM, update Synergy 3, log into Synergy 3, Open Synergy 3, Wait like 90 seconds, Synergy 3 finally fucking gets ahold of my mouse pad, mouse, and dock (not the keyboard).
Run up Debian VM (at least its fast), start polychromatic, set the keyboard solid color.
Then quit them both and my colors are set until reboot.. This is, for lack of a better turn of phrase, the most fucking ridiculous thing ever.
I had to do a 400 fucking megabyte update today for the Synergy 3 software that lives INSIDE my god damn VM. A VM only created in the first damn place to run synergy 3 and then fucking die. And it put me over the edge.
I committed to finding a better way this evening. I started looking into trying to port polychromatic to macOS my god damn self only to find this badass mother fucking kid Ken Chen wrote a whole god damn macOS package and put it up on GitHub.
Fuck fucking YEEEEEESSSS!!!
So thanks to Ken Chen, a student from Australia with 12 Github followers, who was single handedly able to write a better software product than the entire fucking team at SHIT FOR BRAINS fucking Razer.
https://github.com/1kc/razer-macos4 -
I seriously cannot stress how important it is to build good reliable tests. Especially regression testing.
I am crying inside over the amount of time I've lost in my integration hell.
Seriously stupid shit that should have been tested but never did because I was too fucking lazy. Don't be me. Don't put yourself in the hell I'm in. Be better.1 -
I have this friend of mine, he was a former course mate and we can call him J.
J called a week ago saying he wanted to come stay with me for a few days and I said no problem buddy come home I'm always around.
When he came around he sounded quite different than the J I used to know. The first thing he said when I opened the door for him was "Do you know God?" and I was like "Hunh... Is that the latest javascript framework?". With my reply I was expecting laughter as a response but seems like buddy is serious.
J: Are you ashamed of him?
Me: What's up man? Jesus ain't coming anytime soon *still joking*.
J: Yes, he is. And we...
Me: Okay. Cut the crap man.
That night was quite long as we argued religious stuff front, back and center. I asked him why he became so religious but his response wasn't really clear. What I could sense from the discussion was "he's in it for the money" because while we were arguing he mentioned that God spoke to him that he would own a Mercedes Benz this year, so for that he created a WhatsApp group luring people to join to receive gospel messages and in turn ask them to sow seeds and make offerings all in the name of God. I was both pissed and perplexed by such an act of selfishness. Why don't you just get a real job, I asked J, and he said the jobs he could find doesn't match his taste :/
The religious argument continued to day 3 and I wasn't feeling it because it has affected my work as I couldn't even concentrate on most task that was supposed to be completed that week. I called him the next day and told him he shouldn't come to my place if he won't boycott the religious arguments we normally have at night because those are my working hours and the arguments wasn't helping matters. I ended the call when I got no response.
Throughout the rest of that day I felt guilt for what I had said to him, maybe there would have been a better way of putting out my reasons to him or atleast allow him arrive home before telling him what I just told him. I felt really bad that night, so the next day I tried to reach so he could come around when he's available but his line wasn't going through.
Few hours later I got a call from another friend we can call E.
--- E: Hey, have you seen J lately.
Me: Yes, he has been with me for few days now.
--- E: Is he there now.
-- Me: No he's not.
--- E: I need to let you know what's up. J isn't feeling okay. He has been with me for quite a while but recently this year he started acting strange. I think he has some mental issues.
-- Me: Mental what?
--- E: Yes. One time he pulled of his shirt running towards the street. I asked him where he was going and he said "they're calling me... they're calling me".
-- Me: That must be serious, I never paid attention I just noticed he was acting too religious.
--- E: Yes man. It took some time before I myself realised what was going on.
--- Me: So what do we do?
--- E: I've spoken to his brother and we also informed the police he was missing, I never knew he was with you.
--- Me: I'll try reaching out if I find him I'll get in touch.
--- E: Okay.
Hanging up the phone, I have never felt so broken in my entire life. All through those time I was arguing with someone in need of help.
How could I not have known. I'm stupid... I'm stupid... I'm stupid! I kept stumping my palm on my head. Shame unto me.
There were moments in our arguments with signs of clear red flags, some things he said wasn't just right but I ignored just to win the arguments. At one point he claimed he was God, at another point he said he doesn't need to work to become rich that money will visit him, he said some really bizarre things if I was observant enough I would have noticed but fuck me I didn't.
Next day, I got a call that he has been found and has been taken to a psychiatric hospital. He was suffering from bipolar disorder. When I got there, he no longer recognises me. This was the same person we both argued few nights ago.
This short experience was devastating for me. I cried like a baby right there in room filled with his family and some other friends.
No one knew why I was crying, it was just me and my guilty conscience. This would have been prevented atleast a little if I had acted differently. I can't hug him now... It's of no use. I can't tell him how great a friend he is and and how much he deserves the world now because it would be useless.
I pray day and night that he gets well soon and I could tell him how sorry I am for not realising he had a condition unknown to me.
I get to visit him twice a week and hope he gets back to the J I've always known, my buddy for life 💑
For anyone reading this:
Sometimes the people around you might look okay from the outside but I promise you there is a lot going in on the inside. Show love to whoever call you their friend and also don't take arguments personally (I failed this test), some people uses arguments to validate theirselves and some might not be as sane as you think.
#ListenMoreSayLess11 -
**Sees a different error after hours of debugging the previous one**
ME (crying inside) - What type of sorcery is this?3 -
iiiii fffffuckingg hate articles that just explain something
put a piece of code
that piece of code uses X amount of classes/models
they never mention what structure are those models/classes made of
what is inside them
i cant continue following the article because i dont know what is inside them
they just put it in ur face and say Fuck you
no
Fuck YOU
<font size="1000000px;">FUCK</font>
<font size="10000000000000000em;">YYYYYYYOOOKUUUUUUUUUUU</font>
U MOTHFFFFFUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
USELESSS ARTICLE
zzzzz
frustratioms
my nerves are torn
broken
disabled
demented
day
in life
obsession
hell
unreal
what is life
q
what are doing
why are doing this
what is the point of living
how long does it take for a man to die
why are some people blessed with luck and some are not
zzzz
u know what is even more frustrating
girls
yes
ohdont get me started on this topic
well i warned u
the path towards abundance lies upon the few; thou who shalt not risk high; shalt always stay thus low
girls also frustrate me bc
i always do every thing nice and im always nice
so i realized
being nice is fake as fuck and doesnt fuckin work
being urself doesn't do a Fckimg tHING
hhh
frustrations
.
breathe
.
in this hardlife
only the strong survive in this world
- tupac shakur
zzzz
so yes bavk where i was saying girls frustrate me because i always do what im supposed to
so
i tried being thou who shalt i am not
guess what mothrfucker
it works when u be a gofdamn fkig low mothfckr a u know a goddmn fkig punk then they respect u and want u
back i fckked up
i turned back to my real me, the nice me
and then they left me
they think being nice = means being weak
FUCCKK YOUU
ssss
zzzf
kindness != weakness
U FCKING WHORES
UNDERSTAND THAT
zzzzz
breathe
i just wanted to have a walk outside and thenit started raining
so i had to stay inside bc of the rain
m
i am very lonely
u know i was very fine when i was lonely at a very young age but now i need a living entity beside me
with me
i fking need
wait i will cuddle my fluffy dog rn maybe i will feel better
br b wait for me ok
i feel better now
fck
i remembered that goddamn girl again
man i feel so heart broken
srsly
i have sunk into the deepest depths of endless depression I think
it doesnt feel nice
it feels very lonely and depressing down here
but i thimk tjat is be because i care too much
some people say i overthink
I dont overthink
i am like the stealth people
the shadow people
i stay quiet and observe
everything
i always know what is happening but i rarely speak about it
and people dont realize
so they think they can fool me
no
everything has its limits
so much lies that im sick of it
i always tell it how it is
i always reward those who help me
i always help those who help me
i never forget those people
zzzZZ
why is it that people who dont give a single fucking Fffffficxkkckck about me
are the ssame people i almost care the MOST?
i cross hundreds and thousands of miles to visit a person, invest hours of my time to do that
i do that....
and they wouldnt even step 1 foot in front to see me....
what kind of life is this
vv
feel like cryin rn
.
zzzzz
.
i dont understand what one must do
what is the point
all i want is to be happy
that is it
but being happy is.... i wanted to say the hardest part of life but now my voice told me being happy is a state of mind
myself answered me that being happy ? is a state of mind?
so that means if i want to be happy even if everything around me is falling apart
in my mind i can create a psychological world that would make me.... happy ....?
or what
i dont understand what did myself tell me
why do i care so much if im lonely
u know my friend from college we go to same computer science college
hes a very smart man but a fake FUCKING friend, plastic as fuck
he reads philosophy booms and told me
"when a man is lonely for long enough, he will slowly start to fall apart"
that is me...... that is ...truth......
he quoted a philosopher from some book
zzzz
he also said a quote he read about the meaning of life
"this life is endless pain and the only purpose of life is to reduce this pain as much as possible so we can be happy"
what the fck that is incredibly depressing
what the fuck im actually crying rn
i feel stabbed in the back and left behind and cheated on, all of those happened and some of them are happening right now
dont know what to think about the reasons
all of this causes me such huge anger and depression and that is whT keeps me going
going by working harder than i am supposed to
without all this hurt there would be no glory
all this effort..... it better pay off at the end...... please God..... i beg you....
i have completed 50% of my life purpose, let me do the rest so i can die in peace...13 -
Vue is amazing at all but fuck...never try to create some kind of layer on top of it or use external events inside. It is hell, trust me. I hate myself so much now. Shieet.
Now I am crying here with fucked up data flow and such complex hard to debug creature...5 -
Yeah, handouts create lazy people I'm not impressed with
You want something in life, then why don't you go and get it?
Actions speak louder than words do, it's pretty quiet, isn't it?
Look at the world we live in, defined by comment sections
Surround yourself with people that challenge how you think
Not people that nod their head and act like they agree
Those people will cut you open just to watch you bleed
Always be yourself, not the person that you pretend to be, no!
These people gon' tell you that you will never make it
Then when you do, they gon' say they knew you were goin' places
That's just how it works, next thing you know you'll be overrated
Hearing people say they miss the "old you, " it's crazy, ain't it?
And perfect people don't exist, so don't pretend to be one
I don't need pats on the back from people for my achievements
When I die I wanna know that I lived for a reason
Anyone can take your life, but not what you believe in, no
Just remember this
Yeah, don't take opinions from people that won't listen to yours
If money's where you find happiness, you'll always be poor
If you don't like the job you have, then what do you do it for?
The cure to pain isn't something you buy at liquor stores, nah
The real you is not defined by the size of your office
The real you is who you are when ain't nobody watchin'
You spend your whole life worried about what's in your wallet
For what? That money won't show up in your coffin, woo!
Yeah, anger's a liar, he ain't got no respect
I fell in love with my pain and I slept with my regrets
Happiness saw it happen, maybe that's why she up and left
Joy called me a cheater, said she ain't coming back
I've always had a problem with relationships
But that's what happens when you see the world through a broken lens
Mistakes can make you grow, that doesn't mean you're friends
Who you are is up to you, don't leave it up to them, no
Just remember this
Yeah, they say you got into music, you signed up to be hated
That's kinda weird cause I don't remember signing my name up
Coming from people that give advice but never take none
I like my privacy, but, lately, I feel it's invaded
I heard that life's too short, don't let it pass you by
We waste a lot of time crying over wasted time
It's not about what people think, it's how you feel inside
My biggest failures in life are knowing I never tried, woo!
I look at the world from a different angle
People change, even Satan used to be an angel
Think twice before you're bitin' on the hand that made you
Don't believe what you believe just 'cause that's how they raised you
Think your own thoughts, don't let them do it for you
Say you want a drink, don't wait for people to pour it on you
Cut out the liars, stay close to the people you know are loyal
Grab your own glass and fill it, don't let your fear destroy you, woo!2 -
Me and the lead developer of my team gave a long and detailed explanation to our manager entailing the current state of a budge program our workplace uses.
This app has been bugging him for a while, he did not write it and has not been given an opportunity to rewrite the damned thing. Its a really...really messy application, and whilst it is a functional one it most certainly is NOT an efficient one since adding or moving things only incites more spaghetti mess.
We were laughing while giving our report, but both of us were crying inside. The main thing is, we both love PHP and the things he has built are very well structured and efficient, he has good technique, but will admit at certain caveats regarding the way he structures his dbs stating that he always has to do changes, which hey, its the nature of the beast, dbs change all the time. But our issue with php is the same: it lets beginners write monstruosities that are harder to do in other environments.
It really is a permissive language. But I reckon thay such lax nature is better left at the hands of the more experieced developers that know what they are doing.
Either way, we will restructure this motherfucker taking advantage of the new standards (which both of us are well versed in) and applying a more structured approach with a nice frontend interface (we be looking at Vue.js and React although we are considering Angular as well)
Gon be some good times. -
I just spent hours making my own email-receipt sending system. My ip got blocked because of a misconfigured server. I had to reconfigure it and when it's finally working I realise that Stripe already have a built in feature for this.
I'm crying in a corner, slowly dying inside. -
I just spent like an hour trying to fix some piece of code and guess what was the problem? a fucking TYPO! That was so frustrating LMAO (laughing but crying inside) T-T1
-
I'm currently having a problems sleeping my inner philosopher just keeps thinking about various things. I wanna try to write some of them down as an simply to see what will happen.
I'll write my opinion down as honest as possible so feel free to disagree, but point out what I should rethink, if you want me to consider it.
To me respect has to be earned. I think especially on the internet many people try to skip this crucial step when they try to get respect. Most often when they want an opinion or their ideals to be respected. Most of the time it doesn't even feel like they want to be respected, but rather accepted.
There's nothing wrong with accepted in my opinion, but there are several approaches to get to this point and I despise some of them.
Earning acceptance by earning respect is one of the right ways to do it. Working hard towards your goals, showing your individual strength, standing behind your ideals. These are things I can respect.
I should also mention that these Ideals should be concrete, based on rational thought and a general good will or you will just twist my words to say that I support e.g. IS, Stalin's politics ect.
On a side node, I think it'd be wrong to disrespect everything Stalin did, since, from an economical point of view, he pushed Russia forward by quite a bit.
Then on the other side I see crybabies. People who want to be accepted, without putting effort in their ideals. Most of the time not even aiming for acceptance through respect, but through pity. Honestly, that's all they're going to get from me.
Pity, for their petty ideals.
Basically all I ever see these people doing is attention whoring and practicing multiple deadly sins at once.
Wrath, jealousy, sloth, pride, greed and optionally also gluttony.
Lust is rather a separate package. When I think about it, I link it mostly to horny teens and "send bob and vegane" type of stuff.
Gluttony being powered by sloth or vice versa, enhancing it.
The clear image I have in mind, while I write about this packages of deadly sins however, is that of a jealous person, complaining / getting angry about something they could change change themselves, but want them to be changed for them. Mostly through social networks such as Facebook, Twitter and whatever the fuck Tumblr is supposed to be.
"I wanna be rich, why is <person> richt but I'm not? This world is so unfair 😡". Have you tried working towards becoming rich?
"I don't don't feel pretty. Accept me". Accept yourself. Done.
"I don't like <person or organization>'s doing". If that's the whole message, all you probably did so far is complaining or crying. Sweet tears.
Stuff like that can happen to any person, just like any person makes mistakes.
Mistakes are made to learn from them. If you realize realize and accept your mistakes others may do so as well and forgive you.
But we are he towards this idiotic trend where people just can swallow their pride even for microscopic things. They instead push their pride to higher levels of ignorance, blaming other people, l(ying)mfao, creating black holes of density in the process. Makes me wonder whether their real motive is an inside bet on who can get the most people to kill them selves by face palming.
Most of my life I have been fairly protected against these people, besides some spikes of incompetence, but recently the have invaded 2 areas in my world that make the world somewhat less of a pain. Programming and the internet culture.
Yes, I'm talking about that master / slave BS renaming and article 11 and 13.
The remaking itself isn't really the problem, but rather the context. This was basically a show of power for the self proclaimed "social justice warriors" or SJW for short.
The fact that this madness has spread. That's what worries me. To me it feels like the first zombie has spawned.
Then we have this corrupted piece of incompetent shit, called Axel Voss, and other old farts.
They live in a galaxy far away from reality, somewhere in the European Parlament, making laws they don't know shit about, regulating things they know shit about.
All in the name of the people of the EU of course. And by people we obviously talk about the money.
I can honestly not think of another reason, after reading the replies Voss and his party gave on Twitter regarding the shit they pulled off.
Well, at least none that doesn't involve some firm of brain death.
For now I'll show them as much as possible how much I despise / reject them. Currently playing with the thought of some kind (social media?) website were posts from other sites or actions in general can be rated only with "Fuck you"s.
Given these articles, I should not have them hosted in an European country though 😅.
Almost hitting that 5k character limit 😰1 -
!dev
Nothing is a dream.
My very first step, as I left the staircase, was on a plate. A loud click made my instincts tick, pushing me to blindly roll forwards.
Before I even had the time to process, that I had just evaded being burnt alive by a wall of flames, the rumblings of another mechanism made my heart accelerate yet again.
Five iron spikes descended uppon me, scratching my cloak, but no more. Twice I was lucky...
But three doors: one behind me, two to my left and right. The ones at my sides spring open with a loud crack, and four terrors pour out, seeking to flay me alive and wear my skin.
I slash at them with my bloody falchion, walking backwards, seeking to escape through the remaining door. Primal fear runs through my spine as I realize: it's barred from the other side!
Burning through my mana, I manage to unlock the door, and quickly close it behind me... but the terrors do not abandon the chase. With inhuman strength, they pound on the door, while desperately crying out for my blood.
I try to escape to the next room... another locked door. There must be another way! There has to, or I'm as well as dead...
What's this, in the corner, among cobwebs? A handle... and a secret passageway, that I can close from the other side! Magnificent!
Another flight of stairs takes me deeper into the tomb. I find an oil lamp, suspiciously well-maintained. Someone has been here recently...
I marvel at the macabre carvings on the wall, depicting scenes from when immortal tyrants ruled the earth. Haven't I seen these before... ?
No matter, I must focus. I was instructed to find an artefact hidden within this acursed place, that I may use for the purification ritual -- there is only one way, so onwards.
An old wooden gate, with a broken bronze knob. Soon as I put my hand on it, it opens inwards...
Eyes black like diamonds, she awaited me inside.
I had never been, simultaneously, just as terrified as enraptured. Day and night, her voice still reverberates inside my mind. And even as I lay dead, her inescapable gaze still clutches the very bottom of my heart.
"Did you come for me?" she asked, smiling, opening up her arms, so that I may fall into her sweet, loving embrace.
"Yes" I whispered as I walked towards her, enthralled.
In a bout of deranged ecstasy, she drank every last drop of my blood. But then... she cried, cuddling my remains.
"No... no, no, NO!" her screams tore apart her very soul "I killed my son... I KILLED MY SON!"
Oh, mother...
Don't cry mother
it hurts no more.
Now I live again.
And I forgive you.
Because I loved you,
as ashamed as I am to admit,
the very moment I saw your eyes,
I loved you.
"I was imprisoned here, so that I may not harm anyone else" she muttered, tears in her eyes "I cannot stop myself -- I am cursed"
Do not ask of me, that I end your suffering.
How could I?
If there is no cure...
"Please, my love... " she begged "kill me... "
No... I can't...
I can't bear either weight
for the rest of this wretched eternity!
How could I take your life?
But how could I leave you to suffer?!
"Now we'll be together... " she smiled, as I raised the falchion.
"Forevermore" I wept, before bringing it down.
***
Nothing is a dream.
Somber, I returned to the Santuary, having fulfilled my mission.
But looking uppon the bone mask I donned, obscuring my eyes, the Matriarch knew that I had been... changed.
I felt no remorse as I slaughtered the witch that doomed my beloved, right on her own altar to heresy. She earned as much.
Her guards, however, I could not defeat.
But that doesn't matter;
deep inside, I was already dead.
And behind the mask,
the whole way through,
I had shed tears without pause.
"Now we'll be together... " I prayed to the nightsky, as silver blades punctured my thorax.
"Forevermore" her sweet voice replied.
*** -
Tomorrows meeting couldn't be more messed up
•boss(we are kind a thing now)and her ex sitting at the same table while she tries not to kill him
•me sitting there with someone else's shitty website with 20 day old code to show as a back end (previous dev was a cunt and deleted all copies from everywhere)
•them expecting a junior dev to build a whole accounting package on the 20day old code
•deadline 3weeks
• crying on the inside 😱😱😱5 -
Tried to run ollama with a small model on a laptop that's like 10 years old and use that inside vs code. Weak CPU, GPU not to mention. I didn't really expect it to work. I was still a bit disappointed, though as expected. It was crying for help.
Are there any laptops powerful enough?4