A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

The real debugger.

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. 
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."   
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.  
 Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"   
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

So, we got a palindrome sequence today fellas.

What are your point of view on this?😂😂

A programmer finds a frog and picks it up. To his astonishment, the frog speaks.
- "Kiss me and I'll turn into a princess."
The programmer puts it in his pocket and moves on. The ignored frog speaks again.
- "Kiss me and I'll turn into a princess. I'll even kiss you and let you hold my hand for a day."
Once again ignored, the frog ups the stakes.
- "Alright, turn me into a princess and I'll be your girlfriend for a week. You can even show me to your friends."
No response.
- "Seriously, guy, I'm hot. I'll have sex with you, I'll tell all your friends we did it and you were awesome, you can use me as a trophy to brag."
This prompted a response out of the programmer:
"Look, I'm a programmer, I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog, that's kinda cool."

Friend: Do you think you could make an app that does X?

Me: Yes but I'm not an app developer so haven't had much experience with app design so might take a while

Also friend: What sort of programmer are you? It's basic shit

My friends don't seem to understand that the programming loop for game development (Mostly background asset management) and app development is like trying to ask why a bull and a bull frog won't breed...Yes they both have bull in the name but they are 2 fucking different cunting things...

A young man was walking along in the forest, when he heard a muffled voice crying for help from behind a log. He leaned over to see a frog sitting in the mud.

The frog looked up at him and said, "I'm actually a beautiful princess, and if you kiss me, I'll transform back into my true self, and be yours for eternity."

Silently, the man scooped up the frog and continued on his walk.

A minute or two later, the frog piped up again, "Hey, buddy, maybe you didn't hear me -- I said, if you kiss me, I'll turn into a princess. What are you waiting for?"

Annoyed, the man stuffed the frog into his coat pocket.

Shocked, the frog yelled from inside the man's pocket, "What the hell? I'm a princess! All you have to do is kiss me!"

Opening his pocket and peering in, the man said, "Listen -- I'm a software engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog is kind of cool."

Look, what I just found a perfect paper cup for all of us here. ☕

I fucking hate the web guy.
He says - make a pop-up of the raw text you're receiving (in the app) so that I can test it easily while I fix it.
I did it.
Now he laughs and says - I think you searched for it and simply copied from wrong example. All you had to do was handle the text and parse it and display it blablabla instead of simply popping up the raw text.
Thank you I flipping KNOW all of that, you stuck up obnoxious frog. I did it that way initially and uploaded it coz you SAID so! Why do you ALWAYS have to talk like I know nothing!?

Learning regex is like finding a scalpel when thus far you've been trying to dissect a frog with a chainsaw.

Yknow, I want to make an android app that I have in my mind for about half a year now and I already tried twice, both with Kotlin and with Java but everytime I try it's just pain and suffering and frustration...

No it's not because of the language, I like Java and I like Kotlin too and I'd say I'm at least decent at Kotlin and really good in Java...

No no.. the issue is the fucking Android SDK and the mix-and-match documentation available online!!!

Every fucking time I want to implement some sort of UI element, user action or a background service and I start googling how to do it It comes with with at least 3 different stack overflow solutions, all of them saying "that way of doing it is deprecated, instead you should X" and looking up the OFFICIAL FUCKING DOCS it will just make me roll up in the corner and cry because of how fucking inconsistent it is and the retarded domain language it uses... fucking transactions for fucking fragments inside fucking activities... because I guess the word "screen"/"view"/"template" or something similar natural just was too mainstream for the all knowing alphabet soup that google is...

And then you start looking up what the fucking difference even is and how to code it up only to find out there's at least 12 other opinions on how fragments should be used and what should be an activity and what should be a damn fragment...

But that's not all, that's just the base... I get a headache even thinking about how the fucking inflating of templates and the entire R. notation works. You want to open a fucking tiny corner menu with the settings options? WELL THEN YOU FUCKING BETTER REMEMBER TO IMPLEMENT IT THROUGH SOME SORT OF EVENT AND INFLATE THE MENU YOURSELF EVEN THOUGH ITS THE SAME FUCKING THING WITH STATIC STRINGS...

AND WHY THE FUCK DO I NEED LIKE 4 NEW FILES TO IMPLEMENT A FUCKING LISTVIEW...
also talking about ListViews... what was wrong with "ListView"... Why do we need a "RecyclerView"... oh right... because the fucks fucked the fuck up and all the legacy components were designed by a monkey and are next to useless! SO WE NEEDED A NEW NAME FOR THE FIXED VERSION, CANT NAME IT LISTVIEW AGAIN... FUCK YOU...

honestly... if I got a dolar for every "what the fuck android" I said during trying to understand that mess I'd be richer by a few hundred...

oh oh oh, but you know what? You don't like the android SDK? that's fine, you can use fucking React or Flutter or something... yeah.. because instead of torturing myself with the android SDK I want to torture myself with an abstraction of the same SDK and JavaScript as the fucking cherry on top... HAVE YOU FUCKING SEEN THE CODE FLUTTER SHOWS ON THEIR WEBSITE AS THE "Introduction" ?!!!

Look at this piece of shit:

[code in attached image, we could really use a proper Markdown support at least for rants]

THAT'S NOT EVEN THE ENTIRE THING, THAT'S JUST THE *REALLY* UGLY PART...

The fucking nesting... What is it with JS and all the fucking nesting everytime?! It looks like shit.... It reads like shit as well...

WHY, in the name OF FUCK, IS THERE MORE THAN 5 ANDROID FRAMEWORKS and ALL of them... used this FUCKING NOVEL idea of programming using A FUCKING BRACKET WALL

It always looks like:
(code(code[code{code(code{code()})}]));

If I wanted to make a fucking app or a website using fucking Haskell I'd do that.... at this point reading assembly code feels like heaven compared to this retardation... Why is this so popular?! WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE SEE IN IT?! Clearly it's not the aesthetics... it looks like a fucking frog vomit running down an emus leg, fuck that.... I don't even hate classic JavaScript, it's a good enough language and it does what I tell it to... but these ugly fucking frameworks like react, angular and whatever else uses this fucking format can go fuck right off. This is not the way JS is gonna get a better name for itself...

So:
Fuck Google

Fuck the marionette that designed the Android SDK

Fuck the Hellspawn the came up with the "functional-like" way of using JavaScript

Fuck everyone that thinks "JavaScript everywhere" is a good thing

And deeply future-fuck everyone that makes a new framework following any of these standards, stucks a .js at the end of the name and releases his hairball.js of an invention into the fucking world....

It's a mess... fuck everything android related...

What sound does the steel frog make?
Rivet, rivet, rivet.

Found this unexpected frog in my backyard. Hoping that he can help me in Debugging.....

Some company/people just don't deserve your best. Let go!

Just came across a few rants blaming coursework, which doesn't have anything to do with programming. To them I wanna say two things:

1. Programming is modelled on everything other than programming. So it helps to know a bit about that 'everything'.

2. The famous author James Altucher has had 14 careers in 25 years. Not 14 jobs. 14 careers, including photography, authorship, entrepreneurship, finance planning, and more.

So stop bitching and eat your frog/broccoli.

Starts getting crowded at my desk. But I love those little colleagues.

Frog! 🐸

deal with oop.

because they made it waaaaay more complicated than it needs to be.

hey devs, quick question:
does rust support branchless conditionnals and jump tables, and if yes where to look for syntax?

i found no example for branchless so far and jump tables are scary in rust (and i need a library to use them, it seems).

inb4 "why in the hell/ what possible use those have?!":
i use branchless to make a looping array and jump tables whenever there's more than 4 if statements with equal probability, and the deciding factor is a numeric value, so quite often.

lel just noticed a pattern here:

if someone asks newbie questions on devrant about anything - gets shat on

but if that person asks about react - its all roses and rainbows

i say there's a new cult in town and theyre recruiting!

2am, saving to post later because limit

I want to see a cartoon about a rabbit 🐰 and a frog 🐸 hating each other and constantly fighting over who’s a better jumper and they enter a jumping competition that is very tough for both of them and they somehow begin respecting each other over time

I love froggos. I want a pet froggo 🐸

Screw it, I want to be a power ranger! Was facing a tough boss in resident evil 8 and a friend played the power ranger theme and damn that felt great! especially since I was fighting a frog like creature who sounded like one of the monsters from an earlier season who was also frog like and ate the power rangers whole. Yes I used to wear power rangers pjs when I was 10. Lol

Facebook keeps popping up with news about merging Instagram into Facebook to create F.B.I

I'm like WHAT THE F***!

Ahh, I realize people arent going to give a shit about this either.

They can slowly bake it in a *slow boiling a frog style* and eventually it will be merged.

Delete Facebook.
Delete Instagram.
Delete Whatsapp.

Read Devrant!

I was told to be more inclusive.
So from now on, i (void *) everything and compile with -w

So, i have that assignment about docker stuff. nifty piece of software i must say.

anyways im installing docker software on windows bc im thinking if i have something that gives me at least the correct structure and some skeletal syntax i will have a faster grasp of the thing. expecting some sort of high level ide but end up instead with what looks like a blank window, with the only obvious choice being sign into some bullshit i dont need. but thats another story

my point is:
when installing the thing it prompted me to install WSL2. which i supposedly am not supposed to have because my cpu doesnt support intel virtualisation. but being impatient (thats why i came to look for an assisted solution), i pursued the installation.

lo and behold: i end up with a shell prompt at the root of a linux filesystem!
i ran 2 or 3 muscle-memory commands and closed the prompt, i was in docker stuff up to the neck.
later on, when i go back to my project, in a virtual machine its sluggish af and screams at me that amd-v is not supported because of something something nested pages (will look up later how that one works).

dont have time to explore it some more yet, and especially experiment or even barely look at this glorious mess because i have something barely working and no time to have it fail.
but this story definitely left me perplexed.

and also : you can run WSL2 on an fx8350

today i had to teach a friend of mine that:
"we don't negotiate with the terrorists from artistic department".

plot twist: i am the artistic department:p

Anime lovers here, if yes than which are the anime's you watched till date?

hey frontend devs,
i got a qweshtiun:
how come half of yous communicate in wordsalad?

also: ur methods are functions and ur objects are structures. wth is it all about?

I know it's a bit late from the official launch of iOS 11, but finally I get to have my hands on this. So, let's jump in and explore what's new.

If you want this app better, stop posting crappy content or content you have to end up explaining.

Simple, isn't it?

Hey all,
This is no rant, its just a sincere question.

any of you got a good upbeat playlist on youtube you can share for us to listen to while coding...
?? for now i listen to Frog Leap Studios ... Guys amazing

alrite devs, hardmode:
i have an obfuscation algo that cannot be defeated even by quantum computing (like infinite parralelism if i got that one right [i mean understanding what is Qcompute])

how can i take advantage of it? (get phd/big money payroll/sell it)
it could be implemented as impossible to defeat ssh for instance

Spent my whole day (9-6) trying to fix some problem with local server. End of the day. The problem is still there and i dont know a single shit what make the problem. Frog !

I'll listen to an album, try and understand the story, and search for the truth.

I use to let musicians guide me. I'd look to them..

Search for interviews and repeat songs to stay high.

Musicians are great marketers. They're compelling, emotionally intelligent, and spiritual.

What I'm trying to say is, I learned a lot of game from musicians.

Seduction..

and that'll only get you so far.

I just became aware of programming not to long ago.

I have a mentor on money real estate, seduction, fashion, marketing, but I don't know anyone who is the guro of programming and development.

doing an assignment.

me, thinking to myself: "why the heck everybody pastes over an nginx config when they want to script switching the autoindex on or off?

thats not linux at all you sed the fucker that's how its done...", feeling all smart

> type it
> test it

looking fine, as always. im born for this shit

> run it

>restart nginx

restart fails.
i check if i didnt sed any whitespaces, everything seems fine

>restart nginx
fail again.
look closer
.
.
.
.
4 lines below intended target: "locatioff" lmfao