Come on guys let's face it, we all price dev according to how fun it feels.

We need more JS devs for our frontend.
After half a year of PM complaining that he doesn’t find devs, he finally came back to us:
„Sorry guys, I found two devs, but they are not Java developers, they only do JavaScript“
Me:
Team:
*both speechless*
TeamLead: „... wait, you searched for Java devs half a year?“

Start to compile the newest python interpreter. Feeling relaxed.

Design PRD based on competitor's product :|

Oh no! What have I done? I opened up devRant at 8:00am and it's now 9:55am. This is literally my biggest time sink and I love it.

Today was my first day in OPS room.
Fucking felt weird!
Literally only 1% understood I guess.
Luckily seniors were there with me.
I hope, soon will understand more ;)

Why did I laugh at this for six solid minutes omg I’m at work

You know you are in silicon valley when you see an ad for redis

Sudo trees

My friend (not in CS) said his computer was a bit slow.
I told him I'd fix that for 10, he agreed.

I increased the cursor speed.
He bought it.

Sorry if I make a typo, my hands a still a little shaky, just had to stop myself from crying.

This morning I came in, opened my email, saw an automated response from Jira saying .... saying ..... saying the backend team provided details about their new endpoint.

After a year of screaming, they finally did it. It was so beautiful I fell to the floor and wept like a baby.

Thank you all for your support through this difficult time. Together we can accomplish anything!!!

Email clients, please DO NOT TRIM THE TITLE !

Basically, going to an IT school and being the only one who actually knew how to program, every group project was a nightmare, now at university I don't have any group projects luckilly

It is better to check before press enter

Just found this website for Regular Expressions:
https://regex101.com/

In-case anyone struggles like I do

We used to use Trello for our team boards and was starting to transition to Gitlab's issues for better code integration...

I became aware that my boss was being "demanded" to have a better analytics of our team performance so I started digging more insightful issue/tasks software like YouTrack ( Jetbrains ) and Jira ( Atlasian ).

After 2 months of trial and learning I suggested we go with YouTrack.

"We" are now using it for about 6 months already and it is a fucking mess.

My peers have no clue how to scrum, even after my efforts to teach them and they even spent a fucking 3 days workshop about it on fucking Google (!?!?) without me ( there is a rant about it ).

My boss is a nice person but the dude lacks any trace of competence to manage anyone other than him.

I'm tired of babysitting a man that is 10 years older than me and has a car that costs almost 10x mine.

I'm two days back from vacation and I almost rage quited 5 times.

FYI. ADOBE XD product is totally free from now on.
https://adobe.com/products/xd.html/

So I installed Avast because I was downloading some torrents.
After months I suddenly hear a really loud "*ping* *ping* *ping* Eine Bedrohung wurde gefunden". I nearly got a heart attack. I thought I've got a fucking maleware shitty fuck thing, but I had no idea how I could find out where the fuck it was coming from. So I ignored it.

Then, weeks later again: "*ping* *ping* *ping* Eine Bedrohung wurde gefunden", while I was browsing the web.
I thought it was coming from a website so I looked through every tab and window. But nothing.
So I googled the exact sentence it said, and voila:
The first result was from the avast support site.

I opened avast and looked into the settings. There! A checkbox to turn it off! These fucking cock suckers enabled it by default!
It was the first time I enjoyed clicking a fucking checkbox. FUCK YOU AVAST!!!

Why is AntiVirus Software so shitty these days... I'll probably just switch to Windows Defender.

The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.

So true...

How real men play Russian roulette:

realman@root:~$

[ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf /* || echo *click*

Was practicing kotlin today.
After finishing a file I ran the clean the code thingy and it removed 137 semicolons.
Its gonna take some time getting used to not ending with ;

Dear phone app devs,

when I start app, I want to *use* it, NOT fill in recommendations on store. Please move this question AFTER useful work in app.

Sincerely,
Angry user

Me: *Uses Spotify in India using VPN*
Friends:

I'll start my own series on hacking.

BECOME A HACKER WITH 4 SIMPLE STEPS!!!!!1!

#1 Open cmd

#2 Enter hackermode
Type "color 0a"

#3 write a Hackerscript
Type "%0 | %0"
Step 3 is a bit risky and may fail. Reboot and repeat until you understand why it failed

#4 Realize that the internet is scary place and that you can't trust anyone.

As long as it works right? xD

My son came from kindergarten with a picture he painted. And that's what I found on the backside of the paper.

Issue 0 of devRant Comics! Based on the epic rant by @cdrice (https://devrant.com/rants/451202/) Let me know what you think!

LOL difference is clear

Tinder experience so far

Girl: "hey, what do you do?"

Me: "im a programmer"

Girl:

Me: "and you?"

Girl:

Me: "... hello?"

*Suddenly unmatch*