How much of real programmer are you? I am just at VIM level :D

Reddit understands

Filling a form :

Normal Person
Name: Jim Jennings
Comment: Nice Post

Developer
Name: asfsafsadsa
Comment: asfsafsadsa dsad sdfs fa

How Programmers review code

Give that man some HUGE FUCKING COOKIES!

1. Buy boxes of orange juice, almost past their expiry date.
2. Put boxes on the hot office windowsill for a few weeks.
3. Cool down juice in fridge.
4. "Hey dear coworker, would you like a refreshing juice box on this hot spring day?"
5. Watch coworker retch and vomit, spitting blue-grayish juice over his desk, crying: "Why would you give me old moldy juice without checking the date?"
6. "Do you remember when you told me you didn't have time for unit tests? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, DAVE, THIS IS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS WHEN YOU DEPLOY UNTESTED CODE.... NOW FINISH YOUR JUICE!"

Hi guys. This is my first ever post so just wanted to introduce myself and say hi. It's really nice to be a part of your community and I will look forward to laughing my @ss of at all your posts.

Here is a pic of my coding/ gaming set up for your viewing pleasure.

See you in the comments 😊
Rich

Not a rant.
Just a Python appreciation post.

appreciate python. 🐍

Steps to writing more readable and cleaner code:
1) write shitty code that gets the job done
2) take a screenshot of set code
3) post it on devRant and blame it on a coworker
4) someone will reply with a clean solution within a couple hours
5) copy and paste that solution then push to repo

Interviewing a Data Scientist

He's been away in the last five days. Something strange ! :\

Someone: What do you do for a living?
Me: I tell computers how to be computers in their language.

​​​​​​

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

When your classification model outputs 0.5 ❗❗❗

I guess... thats what they are..?

Got this in a fortune cookie the other day right after I released a new app.

Meeting with asshole partner company CEO at restaurant.

Me: "I'm a bit worried about the bugs in your API. There are some ways to retrieve privacy sensitive info from public endpoints"

CEO: "Well, we're a rapidly growing startup!"

Me: "Uh... so?"

CEO: "So... Move Fast and Break Things! Priority is to improve our API further, and we'll fix bugs as they show up"

Me: "Maybe you should stop trying to emulate Zuckerberg in your management style. You know that even Facebook themselves admitted that their slogan was a retarded mistake"

Waiter shows up at table. CEO orders some overly expensive fish salad.

CEO: "Well, they have done something right... they're worth billions"

Waiter asks me: "And you sir, have you made your choice?"

Me: "Do you serve popcorn?"

CEO: "Popcorn for lunch?"

Me: "No, for your congressional hearing"

I really like this one 😂

My non techie girlfriend :) <3
-----------

She: Hey I am getting a new phone!

Me: which one?

She: Apple I phone

Me: oh cool!

She: yea I am really excited. I can't wait to have more space on my phone. I can't have anything on my current phone.

Me: yup.

She: new phone will have a lot of storage space. Its going to be 64MB. Imagine all the things I can do with it now.

Me: Hey, the 90's called, they want their storage sizes back.

*hilarious laughter ensues*

Dat iPhone crowd doe. Android 4 life.

Uh oh,there it goes...

Facebook & Instagram be like this.

*Caps lock* *letter* *Caps lock* *rest of name*

Goals
1. Learn android development
2. Spend more time coding than procastinating (its not my job)
3. Learn more cpp
4. Publish my first android app
5. Finish my current project

Boss: we are going to build a blockchain. ( he is smiling proudly)
Me: we are doing data visualization boss!!! Why we need the blockchain?!?!?
Boss: I am disappointed in you!!! You don’t read any Tech news or follow the market trends? BlockChain is tending nowadays... ( showing angry emoji using his face)
Me: it is not related to our work by anything!!! What we will visualize? A success of the transition? The amount of it? A visualization of the nodes?
Boss: (shouting) there are a lot of opportunities using the BlockChain in our days, and it is critical to our business...
Me: boss, there many opportunities using the ******* BlockChain, and I am leaving this company by the end of the month... find a ******* BlockChain developer to visualize the ******* process...
Boss: ........ (silence)
Me: .... (already resigned)

I've always find it weird when people said "You never know how much you love something until it gone"

Until i broke my keyboard's Left CTRL.

„You should name a variable using the same care with which you name a first -born child!“

I’m making a puzzle game! Cool!

Concept - done
Mechanics - done
Art - done
Ui - done
Puzzles - uhhh... this is harder than expected.

I think Linux is indeed Userfriendly, there are just Users which aren't Computerfriendly.

My classmate just threatened the monitor, because his code isn't working.