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A scammer called me today. They were saying that harmful files were moved to my computer and they needed to remove them. I don't think they are ever going to call me again.
S = scammer; M = me;
S: this is tech support we need access to your computer because we detected harmful files and need to remove them.
M: oh my! Hold on, let me go to my computer now. How can you access it?
S: we can just use RDP and delete the files. They are in a hidden folder that is encrypted so this Is the only way.
M: oh ok I believe you. Hm... it looks like my son only allows certain IP addresses to access our computers.. I don't know how to disable this so can you just email me your IP address?
He then sends me his actual IP address... it doesn't even look like a proxy or VPN.
M: oh my I forgot that you need my password to login. It's really long and complicated... can I just email it to you?
I then tell him to hold on I have to find it that my "son" stored it somewhere.
At this time I'm taking a photo of my bare ass and attaching it to the email. I then say in the email "Please note what my job title is in my signature.. I just sent the FBI your name, phone number, email, and IP address. Please enjoy my bare ass, you'll see a lot of it in prison."23
Well, it happened. The stupidest request, no demand, I have ever, and most likely will ever receive...
Me: So what is it you're looking to do with your website.
Client: We're not showing up Facebook's home page. We need you to fix that. We have a budget of $10,000 to make this happen right now.
Me: As much as I'd love to take your money, that isn't something I can control. Every "home page" is profile-based, which technically isn't a homepage, but a "feed" that changes constantly. So say you create a profile on Facebook, only those you follow, and paid posts show up on your feed. What I can do however is use your budget to create and promote posts from your company page to show on users' feeds. If you're serious about marketing, we can start slow at $250/week, then work our way up or down based on results until your budget is exhausted, then re-evaluate the budget at that time. I can tailor a retainer for you based on the number of ads per week that you'd like to make.
Client: No, this is not what we're asking for at all.
Me: Okay...what is it you're looking for exactly? Run through this in as much detail as possible so I can get on the same page.
Client: We want to be on the main home page of facebook.com. We want our logo on that page when people sign up to make an account, linking to our website.
Me: That's simply not possible. That's Facebook's own home page. Nobody has a right to edit that other than Facebook itself.
Client: Bullshit. There's a Facebook developers section with APIs to edit and view Facebook's entire website. We would do it ourselves, but we signed up and don't understand how to change it in Chrome. That's why we need you and [referring client] said you were the best guy for our needs.
Me: That API has no control over Facebook's corporate data, including their own home page. That API designed ONLY for sections in which you are authorized to access or modify, such as your personal profile or created page for your business.
Client: We know that it can be done. If you don't do it, we'll find someone else who can.
Me: Well good luck with that, because the only way it would be remotely possible to do that WILL involve prison time, since that would be illegal. The only legal way to do it would be to buy Facebook, and they'll laugh you out of the building with that offer. But I'm done with this conversation because I have work to complete from clients that aren't delusional. Have a nice day! [hang up]
What. The. Fuck.24
Boss: "I don't want to comply with the GDPR"
Me, DPO: "I've told you the house rules. You must comply, stop arguing"
Boss: "But I don't want it. Bobby doesn't have to, and Eve doesn't have to, their moms are cool"
Me: "I don't give a crap about the other kids, you're going to be GDPR compliant. Bob and Eve will end up being raped in prison. It's that what you want?"
Boss: "What if I just pretend to do it."
Me: "I'll take away all your marketing toys. No more mailchimp for you young man."
Boss, crying: "You wouldn't touch my Facebook pixel!"
Me: "Especially your Facebook pixel. I'm so sick of that thing...."
Me: "...Look, you can still play with your toys, all I'm saying is you need to be honest and ask your buddies for consent before you put your pixels up their various holes"
Boss: "But they will never agree!"
Me: "Maybe that is good thing"
Boss: "But how will we get people to like us if I can't feed them pills and insert probes into their holes to measure their responses?"
Me: "Maybe you should focus on being a nice kid, someone people like to play with. Your buddies will tell other kids that you're a nice guy. Now, I'm not going to lie to you, it will be hard work. Much more effort than what you're doing now. But you know, those friends will stick with you for decades, instead of just until the marketing-drugs wear off"
Boss: "I think I want a new mom"
Me: "You signed a contract. You're stuck with me for the next 2 years. And as long as you're living under my roof, you will follow my rules."14
Worst Person you Interviewed?
I interview many developers at my company. Today, I interviewed someone who seemed fairly qualified. Then I spotted a large gap I his resume. When I enquirer about the gap, he disclosed that he had served prison time for pedophilia. He further disclosed that as a condition of his release, he had to be supervised when using a computer.
As we are a gov/medical company, we are not allowed to hire people with a criminal record. He begged me but I told him that it was again company policy. I felt sorry for him not finding any work and being forced to beg, but I also had a knot in my stomach over the details his crime that he elaborated on.
Anyway, he scored 0 out of 10 on my interview scale.
So, I asked him what he does in his spare time and how me keeps his development skill/knowledge up to date. He said:
“...no, I don’t study this shit in my spare time... I’m not a facking need!!!”
I stopped the interview right there. I might sware here on DV, but it my office I keep it civil & professional. So I certainly do not appreciate it when a diaper wearing, snotty nosed, junior wanker swares in my offices to merely protect his willful ignorance and shows pathetic pride instead of humility. That interview comes to an end immediately!
The pedo got a 0 out of 10, but this brat scored a -5 out of 10!!!
I have so many interview stories I could tell you...
So, as everyone knows on here by now (or, a lot of ranters), I am a fervid privacy person.
Appearantly a new surveillance law in my country is about to extend mass surveillance/hacking a lot. So here a rundown of what they are about to be allowed to do (stuff that is not okay imo and this is the reason I am so pro-privacy):
- Mass Data Gathering: The intelligence agency over here (lets call it IA from now) can pretty much record everything send through the country.
- Extra Protection: If they want to conduct surveillance on journalists/lawyers, they have to go through extra channels first at least.
- Data/survaillance sharing: The IA is allowed to share their raw/filtered data with foreign intelligence agencies without limits. Also, they're allowed to conduct surveillance based on foreign requests.
- Secret DNA database: A secret DNA database will be created which can store the DNA profiles of any person who has commited any kind of crime. These profiles are allowed to be stored for a maximum of 30 years. This database is allowed to be shared with any foreign intelligence agency.
- Hacking: Unlimited power to hack any device deemed neccesary to hack in relation to crime. From computers to smartphones and so on. Also, it's allowed to use zero-days without reporting them to the vendor (we have seen what can go wrong with that through the ShadowBrokers scandal).
- Automatic Database Collection: They are allowed to directly tap into any database they see required (banks, healthcare, messaging services and so on). Practically this can lead to backdoors being build in because if you don't cooperate, you can go to prison. (mother of god I am not using anything closed source anymore if possible).
So yeah, this is pretty much the reason why I am so privacy consious. This country is fucked.57
- Resist the urge to kill my boss
- Remember, I'd be someone's bitch in prison so definitly don't murder my boss
- Find an amazing new job
- Work in new job for some years to avoid suspicion, then kill former boss..8
My scrum team was discussing about how our workspaces are basically the size of a large coffin. Our scrum master then chimed in to try to calm everyone down and said they are much larger. Closer to the dimensions of a prison cell he says.2
Ok, so I don't work yet and so I've never had to deal with any clients but based on the rants i have read this is how stupid I imagine most of them are.
Dev: Hey, would you like a chocolate bar?
Client: Yeah, sure.
*hands chocolate bar over*
*client holds it in his hands, opens it and eats it*
Client: Tastes great
Dev: Ok, nice. So about the payment of the project...
*Clients face is swollen and he falls to the ground*
Dev: uhh, what are you doing?
Client *coughing*: Were.. were there nuts in the chocolate bar?
Dev: uhmm, yes. didn't you look at it?
Client: why didn't you tell me??!?!?!? I am allergic to nuts!!
Dev: uhh, I didn't know that. But srsly, did you not look at the wrapping of the fucking chocolate bar??!
Client: I am going to sue you!! You will go to prison!
Dev: Fuck off *leaves the room*
Image of the chocolate bar:5
I built a gaming PC and have been addicted to it for the last few months (rocket league, subnautica, Xcom2 mostly) and my Girlfriend complained that we didn't do anything anymore... solution? I built her one too (now she won't stop playing prison architect!)
I think I might just have to marry her.19
The story of Netscape and Internet Explorer really proves the irony of fate! And how life will come back to bite you.
Back in the 90's you had to pay for browsers like Netscape (it was called a navigator but same thing) but after Microsoft released IE for free with your windows copy in 2002 it crushed Netscape and nobody used it anymore (the graph below).
But! Netscape wouldn't give up and before the company died after it made legal accusations against Microsoft and Bill Gates and made them pay for that they did, but Netscape was too far gone and already were falling apart they decided to make a self detonation (I guess that's what they thought being in that tight corner) and they released the code as open source which would later get taken by Mozilla and be the code base for Firefox.
Now look at how much better Firefox is and how nobody uses the shitty IE!
Kind of reminds me of the scene from watchmen where Rorshack was in prison and said the best sentence in the movie "I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here WITH ME!"21
One of the students in my department was smart and driven, but also really awkward. I had known him perhaps better than most other students, and had gleaned that he was depressed and had low self esteem.
On a few occasions he tied a noose out of an ethernet cable hanging from the ceiling and played "Pumped Up Kicks" when asked to choose a song at a party. Really strange stuff. If we had been betting on who would turn out a school shooter, I would've put my money on him.
Anyway, he graduated last year and this year I found out federal agents raided his home because he was building pipe bombs and intended to kill a bunch of people and himself. He's now doing at least 10 years in prison.4
Life is mostly about waiting.
Waiting for code to compile.
Waiting for payment confirmation.
Waiting for food.
Waiting for gas to fill up tank.
Waiting for lights to go green.
Waiting for beer.
Waiting for waiter.
Waiting for call.
Waiting for school to finish or start.
Waiting for exam.
Waiting for job.
Waiting for application to start.
Waiting inside prison.
Waiting inside workplace.
Waiting for summer or winter.
Waiting for movie to start.
Waiting for girl to dress up.
Waiting for birthday.
Waiting for birth.
Waiting for death.
Fucking timers everywhere.
Someone got big sense of humor when developing this world.7
This has been said countless times before me, and way better than me that’s supper tired, but I need to rant out
And what I’m ranting out today, is Apple. Its essence, its core, the reason it still exists: the ECOSYSTEM!
The problem with Apple ecosystem is that it’s the ecosystem of a fucking PRISON!
People like it because it works well together , but it’s sure that in a prison, the path from your cell to the cantine is pretty optimized; you get forced there! And you might try to get your food elsewhere, but the walls of the prison are made to be difficult to cross. Especially on mobile, where they’re making it harder and harder to escape, to make a jailbreak (pun-intended). Keeping you the loyal little sheep, or the forcing you to it.
That prison is also made private, a little club, to attract people to it. They even got their own little system to talk to each other, but oh god protect them from their little messages to pass the walls of the prison.
And all that prison is guarded by the warden, watching from high in the cloud. Forcing you to report yourself to him to be part of that prison.
That prison, also, can only be entered with specific vehicles, provided by the prison, to ensure maximum compatibility and efficiency. Good luck entering with a disguised vehicle if you find the official ones too pricey for their parts.
They also provided pressure tubes to send things from one cell to another. While being only simple pressure tubes like any other, they’re acclaimed because they’re apparently easier to use than the other 3rd party pressure tubes that can send things to the outside. Why? Because, oh yes it’s already in everybody’s cells (of that prison, outside is dangerous) and the other tubes have been conveniently being placed somewhere harder to reach.
Another thing they have are those windows that can view the outside. While being maybe less clear than some other windows, they are ok. But if you ever consider going mobile to enjoy that safari with lions, then man do they love bringing you back to that window.
Ok so I’m done with the prison metaphor, or I won’t sleep.
The ecosystem is probably the major reason Apple is still there. You buy from there because you’re a prisoner (I guess I’m not finished with the metaphor after all).
This is a prime example of RMS’s quote “If the user doesn’t control the software, the software controls the user”
AirDrop isn’t some sort of revolutionary tech, it uses a well established protocol that other implementations use to do the same thing. They could really easily open source the protocol and allow everyone to profit, but they won’t, because that would mean you don’t have to buy Apple.
That’s why I militate for open source, decentralized and standardized protocols. Because that way, we control the software, and it doesn’t control us.
All the things I said aren’t so bad because when you buy Apple, you make a choice. But I don’t have a choice, I am typing this on an Apple device, because I need to (I won’t elaborate on that) because of that fucking *ecosystem*
I am really tired, so half the sentences probably don’t make sense, but thanks for coming to my stupid TED talk.12
My school fucking blocked duckduckgo today.
I'm not surprised, I knew this would happen eventually because this school is a prison and the administrators feel that they have to know your every fucking move.
Honestly I thought it was pretty funny too because I don't know anybody else at school using ddg, which means they probably just saw this one kid getting around being tracked and said "that damn kid." (Imagine I'm waving my finger around condescendingly like an old woman.)
It also could just be that they saw me using an unfamiliar url more than normal and assumed it was malicious or some kind of distraction. But I'm willing to bet money they just didn't like that they couldn't track me.23
So... I've seen my dad talking a lot about quantum computers, and it's getting quite embarrassing to be there when he talks about them. He doesn't understand shit about them, except that they somehow use quantum mechanics for something.
Last week my uncle from Spain visited us. He's a Cristian pastor, and a cool guy, so they always talk about god and similar themes. We gathered the family to have a dinner with my uncle as he only was going to be one day with us. This is how part of the dinner went by:
" so, <Uncle's name>, have you heard about quantum computers?"
me thinking:*Oh my God. Please not again... *
"The nasa, the US government and all kinds of powerful entities are getting the quantum computer."
He always talks about THE quantum computer as if it was just one big machine.
"They have found that multiple universes exist through it. If this is what they are telling us, imagine how far they've gone. Remember that technology is always 8 years ahead of actual public technology."
Me:*please dad, stop. Who the fuck is made that claim and how many fucking years ago?*
"Did you know that many people remember that Mandela died in prison, while in the oficial version, he died after it? They must be messing with multiple universes, or multiple timelines are getting intertwined."
Me: *please, not the mandela effect again*
Then my dad procceded to talk about multiverses and how THE quantum computer was the future and about some parts of the Bible that supported it. Bizarre, I know.
When we are alone, I always try to tell him how things actually work but he always twists my claims to support his. Last time I told him that the mandela effect was perfectly explainable by psychological phenomena around forgotten memories. But this is going to far... Fuck the guys that made zeitgeist. Fuck Alex Jones. Fuck random youtube conspiracy channels. They make technology look like fucking magic for muggles.10
"A Single Line of Computer Code Put Thousands of Innocent Turks in Jail"
I'll leave the title as it was, but people were hunted down just for having been once logged by a tracking pixel inside a messaging app.
Simply terrifying, I hold that off for a while, since it sounded like the usual fakes, but it seems its not, as more and more keep confirming it.
"The government eventually exonerated 11,480 of the wrongly accused, but some had already spent months in prison, and reportedly some even committed suicide."
"Elif finished dressing her youngest and watched police search her family's home before they took her into custody — for using a messaging app the government deems seditious.
She knew the arrest was coming. She'd already lost her job, because traces of the app known as Bylock were found on her phone"
"The regime relies on logs from the country's ISPs to identify users of Bylock, fingerprinting them on the basis of their communications with Bylock's servers. These communications can be triggered without using Bylock, though: Bylock's tracking pixel was used for analytics for pop-up ads and in at least eight apps."
I just deactivated my Instagram account and
It feels like i just came out of a prison... But invisible mental prison idk how to even explain this shit
I fkig swear social media is worse than CANCER32
YouTube: SPENDING 24 HOURS IN PRISON CHALLENGE (GONE WRONG) (GONE SEXUAL) (COPS CALLED)
devRant: SPENDING 24 HOURS STRAIGHT ON DEVRANT TELLING EVERYONE THAT APPLE IS BAD AND MY SECURITY IS BETTER (GONE WRONG) (DATA BREACHED) (DFOX CALLED)21
Have to write a 1,000-1,300 word paper on the top trends of my chosen industry. I am therefore researching crimes using computers and other technology. I'm loving the research.
However, I have no idea how to tone my research down so I don't end up (back) on a list for odd Internet searches, and I don't think I want to be on a international list.
Tips for researching the hell out of this topic without flagging Big Brother and ending up with suits at my door (again)?16
Fresh internship story (Part 2)
I just realized how dumb my temporary boss really is and how much he loves to command everyone.
I told him that I am going earlier a few days ago and he got pissed lol.
He is someone who thinks he knows everything, but he does not.
He blames everything on everyone else.
He is never wrong, we are always wrong. That is probably what he is always thinking.
Clients who enter the store are precious (makes sense-you have to handle clients well, to get more bucks), but the thing is that he even screams near the clients at us. Besides of that I am new there. Be a little bit more patient, fucking prick.
Imho he is too old for the tech industry.
He loves to use the workers as slaves.
Do you work on a laptop rn? Well... fuck that. He has a new task waiting for you.
He keeps interrupting me every 5 to 10 minutes while I am focused.
Random dialogue from today:
me:"the client did a win10 upgrade and not a regular windows update"
boss:"nope. that is a windows update."
me (internally): should I show him the folder called "Windows10.Upgrade" and the "windows.old" folder both with the same creation date in "c:"? nah, fuck that. he is gonna put himself up again. do not want to have a stronger headache than this one I am having rn. (btw. I usually do not have headaches. I get headaches like once in 5 years, but since 4 days I have it every day.)
I am sick of this.
Today I had the urge to fucking grab his fucking "fuck me please" eyes out and eat them while he hears the explosive sounds his seperated eyes do. I still want to enjoy the rest of my life without going into a prison tho.12
People who name variables totally inappropriately and without comments should serve time in prison8
I quit smoking yesterday.
By a coincidence I had a pack of cigarettes named “Kresty” – the brand from russian prison.
Just gave it to Stephen Paul Taylor. There’s no reason to smoke again, just don’t want to loose this kind of story.4
The biggest challenge I face at work is having to sit in one place and work all day. Office feels like a prison. I miss working from home.2
Well it's not really a work experience but that makes me think of that time I deleted all the fonts from school's computer (5y/o)... I wanted to make space by deleting useless stuff, but after that every text document showed in Windings or whatever the fuck this symbol font name was. Well then the TA had to transfer them from another computer with a floppy disk, it took forever xD I felt like I was going to prison that day2
Pulled into an 'emergency' meeting with a group of web designers deeply concerned a particular service wasn't going to meet all their requirements.
DevA: "For each page, Its going to be A LOT of work to retrieve all the data and store it's state. Every page load will require a round trip to the service."
DevB: "Yes, we aren't sure how the service should be changed to do what we need."
Mgr: "What is it not doing now? Doesn't the service already returns all the necessary data?"
DevA: "Well...um...its all the boolean fields. Some may be defaulted from the database or false because the user unchecked the box. We have to know which is which"
Me: "Why? Are you doing anything different in the UI? Checkbox will be true or false. What or who set that value is irrelevant"
DevC: "Well, it matters if the user didn't fill out all other other values."
Me: "How so?"
DevA: "Its matters because the values in the other fields. Its going to be A TON of work to figure out."
<mgr goes to the white board>
Mgr: "Lets map this out...what fields are you needing to trigger the state on?"
DevA: "Um...uh...the 'Approved' field...and um...'OK to Contact' field"
Mgr: "Just those two?"
DevA: "Yea..um...there are other fields, but whether or not to show the edit box depends on those two."
Me: "The service already returns data, you only have two fields to check? I don't see a need to change the service at all."
Me: "How much data are we talking about? Name, address, couple of booleans?"
DevA: "I have to serialize the data. All that logic is going to be reeeaaallly complicated. It might be better if the service returned only the data I need."
Me: "$64,000 question, how often is this feature going to be used on the web site? Maybe once? Few hundred a week?"
Mgr: "We have no idea. A lot of the data will be pre-populated and we're only sending out a few thousand invitations. More around the holidays...but honestly, not very many."
Me: "Changing that service only for this particular area of the web site isn't going to happen. Changing the UI is the only course of action."
DevA: "Oh frack I can't wait until this project is over."
DevA...how the funck do still have a job here? You wasted about half-hour of my time with your cry-baby crap. Where is my hammer...no...no..don't go there...ahhh...thanks devrant. Prison sentence diverted.2
So I recently wacthed Prison Break
Right in the beginning, Michael takes the hdd out of his computer and throws it out the window
Me: Yea he should've dismantled that drive and thrown the pieces away in different places
Then later on someone else is trying to figure his plan and finds the drive and recovers data. Yea.. what did I say?6
Check in, check out, punch in punch, out, wax on (my balls), wax off. Do your duty. Be a good citizen. Work overtime. Conserve the environment: buy a tesla that runs on afghan lithium conflict minerals. Post your life to facebook. Get married. Have exactly 2.5 kids.
Use jquery. Use knockout. Use react. Use vue. Use svlete. Use heroin. Used needles. Used people. Used toilet paper. Toilet paper apocalypse. Social trends. Be a good citizen.
Watch tv. Watch nightly news. CNN says. Fox news says. Hey, did you read this article by important funny guy on tv? American taliban. Scary. Be afraid. Hey did you read this article on cute puppies? Funny! Did you see this meme? What a funny meme! HAHAHA. Do we need prisons for dissidents? Do we need to release all the prisoners in federal prison? Should we round up people who dont follow health authorities? Science says. Science is wrong. Science is right. Man in robe agrees with me. Man in robe disagrees with me. You're evil. These people are bad. Is doing bad always wrong? Should we tolerate intolerance? Its time to stop tolerating intolerance. Be an individual, like everyone else. Be you. Be the best you that you can be. Individualism. But we're all in this together. We're all different and unique. But we're all the same. Love each other. Love humanity. But not these guys over here. Punch a nazi. Punch a commie. Isn't it time we punched a nazi? Isn't it time we had socialism? Isn't it time the old get out of the way for the young? Why are the old hateful? Why do they horde all the money? Do we need rent controls? We need rent controls. Its time for rent controls. I think I believe what others believe. Believe different. Think different. Apple. An apple a day keeps the windows away. Open windows, a breathe of fresh air. Is climate change real? We need to have a national conversation about climate change! The world is freezing. The world is flooding. We're all gonna drown. The world is overpopulated. We need to talk about overpopulation. People who have too many kids are polluting the world. America doesnt have enough kids! Is it time to bring in more immigrants to have more kids? Who will work the fields? Thats racist. Is racism an epidemic? Is white flight an epidemic? Lets talk about epidemics. Lets have a conversation about mandatory vaccination. Lets have a national conversation about mandatory pandemics. I mean, vaccinations. Lets change the world. Trust the science. Don't trust the science. Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu I'm loving it. Love who you are. Live love laugh. If you don't love me at my best, then you can't handle me at my worst. People who disagree with [current year] are the worst. Is it time to regulate speech? Its time to regulate speech. Should there be laws against hatespeech. I think there should be laws against hatespeech. People who upset me should go to jail. Its current year. Think big. Think outside the bun. Have it your way. All the time, always. All for freedom, freedom for all. Because this is america, and current year. I like to work hard. But you have to remember to play hard too. Work hard. Play hard. With a childlike sense of wonder. Be you. Belong anywhere. Just do it. Challenge Everything. Because you're worth it. Save money...live better...have an abortion. You're in good hands. Democracy dies in darkness. Is it time to regulate hatespeech. Politician in current year is hurting our democracy. War is a racket. We need to liberate afghanistan. Why are we bombing afghanistan? Its there culture. They're oppressing people! Don't criticize anyones culture. Be kind. Rewind. Go further. Lets go places. Because Impossible is Nothing.
Lets change the world. I'm a smart passionate funny guy with a childlike sense of wonder and play. You ever want to travel? I want to travel. See the world. Eat new food. Eat. Love. Pray. Eat love. kill. Is meat murder? I think meat is murder. Go vegan. Go home. Order out. Support your local economy. Think global, act local. I'm a good corporate citizen. Be the change you want to see. Did you hear about this local brewery? Do you like craft beer? Hey try this new IPA. I shared it on twitter. Twitter is a very important part of my life. I think what other people say matters, and them reading what I think matters. What I ate for lunch matters. Hey what did you eat for lunch? I LOVE FOOD. You want to order door dash. There new commercial is amazing. Commercials are SO FUNNY. Hey did you see this meme of this commercial? I shared it on tiktok. Heres a funny dance. Watch these nurses dance. I wish I could dance like that. They're so overworked. So brave. Our hospitals are overflowing. People are dying. Hey did you see this new dance trend on tiktok? I like tiktok. I think its a very important part of life to share your life with others. Nurses are dying. Look at this image of hospitals. Scared. Very scary. Very bad. Bad and scary. Big thoughts! Thoughts and prayers!
Because Yes we can!
I'm always asked in an interview:
Q:How did you get into programming
Q:How do you keep upto date and what blogs do you like
A: HACKING Blogs and just general multiple websites.
Q: Have you ever spent time in prison or been convicted?
A: -_- Nope3
The world is in need of something better than passwords. It is becoming quite pathetic to be honest. Requiring me to have 12 char passwords with different rules for each site is fucking ridiculous from a user perspective. They need to fix this.
P.S. Fuck you hackers. You are the cause of this problem and you belong in prison.21
Darkest client description.
With a gift since birth, if you answer this riddle: Who I be?
The fetus of a demon,
Semen from the tip.
Of the penis I'm the only thing
That you see when you're dreaming,
Armageddon and aftermath
This may blog in paragraphs.
Sit on a throne, full of X's and bones
Blowing smoke and I laugh.
Turning sinners like you,
Into my personal acid tabs.
Let me put you up on game,
I've been shot, burned, and stabbed, and still ain't deceased,
I carry the mark of the beast
Now can you tell me
Who the fuck I be?
Client, as the guyreplies
Wine, red wine was the color of his eyes
Coughing a lot of blood like Piru, but he slowly dies
As his eyes close shut, in prison was his eternal life
Realisation of the client being devil.2
"One should respect public opinion in so far as is necessary to avoid starvation and to keep out of prison." - Bertrand Russell3
SHOCK CONTENT PROCEED WITH CAUTION
Star tattoos on knees means "I'll never be on my knees for cops", "I'll never do what cops say" in russian criminal culture. However, these tattoos are dangerous. Russian cops don't like them. If you're just arrived to a russian prison and they see the tattoos (and they see it), they tie your legs the way that makes you knees face the ground, then two cops hold you and drag you around the huge asphalt prison yard until there is no stars on your knees, only the naked kneecap bones or lack thereof.
I have to leave but it's psychologically hard because russia is the country that gaslighted and threatened me into becoming a slave. It's a stockholm syndrome and I want to break it.14
Vim is fun to learn. Now when I git merge I'll be in a familiar program instead of a hellish prison.
Just arrived at NYU hospital for a 3 days of medical exams. While walking in from my nice day in NYC I get the feeling like I'm turning myself in at prison....
Then on the other hand compared to work... I'm on a 4 day vacation...3
I was gonna try to be productive and program something today but instead I spent most of the day playing prison architect.
I need some motivation in my life.
Not dev related so don't shoot me. If you like writing I figure you maybe might enjoy this and thought I'd share.
This is a section from an unfinished novel about 2050s America, set in a corporate subsidized mega-fevela sprawling across washington state, ruled by gangs and patrolled by the officers of a bankrupt nation suffering through austerity and on-and-off again spasms of mass civil conflict.
"Averice - Sex, drugs, and vice, in the downfall and dying days of america."
we lived in a smoke government, where everything was bullshit they blew up your ass so you could continue make believe while
you were bent over with your head in the hole in the ground you mistook for your ass to start with. And if you questioned it all, one bit, the mouth organ of the state would command
hate upon you, like an old latin curse, with a lexicon armada of phrases like "terrorist", and "troubled individual" to character assassinate you by drowning you in the humbling river of societies mass delusion giver, those two sweet letters "TV."
No, we were on the industry edge here, inventing better bait to catch what the state politiburo labelled 'bandits', all for what?
It had, in later years become fashionable to call those who didn't want to be stolen from any more, projected as it were, "thieves", in the same fashion as those in the middle east, defending
their homeland from foreigners, were labelled "insurgents." Tyranny had not so long ago grown a sense of irony it would seem.
And if you became enemy number one of the state, as thousands were, you would spend your days on the run, always looking over your
shoulder for the states vanish vans--black escalades with men in dark suits and mirrored glasses, like bugmen with shiny inhuman, and inscrutable eyes full of alien malice.
These were sordid summers, full of plastic playhouses where the cost of a days wages you could lay with a synthetic lover and pay away the days tense tax for a good lay, and forget your toils and troubles. And so many were kept in poverty because of easy habit and routine that they forget they were not living.
But for me, I had none of it. I preferred the troubled thing on the corner when I could coax one into my state issued sedan. She was sulky, with bright blonde curls, 19, maybe 20, with empty eyes, as if watching some invisible horizon. And in the glow of the blue neon, among the wet sidewalks, and trash, she leaned into my car. No words were exchanged. I nodded, and
she got into the car, a miniskirt, and slinky little handbag.
This was no more than state business with a bureau guy like me, and for her, little more than the prison trade taken public.
She huffed some powder and climbed spraddle leg onto my lap, grabbing me along my jawline, eyes locked onto the depths of my soul, and
for the next ten minutes as she moved on top of me, I was motionless property while my lusts became animal, and she, my cream cup.
After, I arrested her to the standard protests, but she new the game and quickly hushed. This was the verdant arithmetic of the state. I was awarded x amount of pension points for every criminal, no matter how, and it was no gentle hand, not the judge, not the jury, or the executioner of their will. It was the rigid touch of a long arm, dislocated from the law, and now, like frankenstein's monster, cobbled onto the mechanism of the state not unlike the manner of a combine harvester.
We were the owners of all by virtue of all we could take, and we took all we could get. The serial romeos of state police power, romancing
the unwilling citizenry with televised patriotism and five minute power talks at the beginning of the corporate day.
It could be paradise or a wasteland if we wanted it to be. And for a time it was.
Edit: devrant always breaks my formatting. sigh.
Started a new role as a single handed Dev/analyst in a small company. Discovered by predecessor had left no handover notes on his (unnecessarily complex) weekly reports, or indeed on the table structure of any of the systems.
The three weeks into the role the managing director gets sent to prison!
I left...... quickly.1
My Linkedin feed is bombarded with .NET and C++ jobs.
I don't like C# and don't know C++.
I understand the demand for C++ but not .NET.
Every time I use C# or Powershell I feel weird and handicapped by Microstuff's prison.
Java, Python,Node.js and bash scripting feel so much better. Why there is such a demand for .NET devs?8
Any Prison Break fans here?
This kind of thing is what people do when they get free control over technology and stuff..2
Story of two poor puppies
when my mom returned from market, she saw a puppy with her
siblings surrounded by people choosing which one to take.
she pick one puppy. she's color is grayish black puppy with the tip
of his tail and a place in she's neck.
she whined and cried when she separated from her siblings and Mom.
but she quickly familiarize herself with the new family and place.
she was very happy when we bring her sister we found in the same place.
I take care of them.
I feed, wash and play with the new friends.
we built them a house. they were very happy and playful.
but things started to go downhill all of a sudden.
my parents start to prevent me from playing with them.
they say " We bring the puppies for them to be guards ".
they really hate dogs. they started to lock
the house and the window. they had to pass all day in the
(How BORING) they pee there, eat there sleep there.
Since me and my sis prevented from take care of them, we couldn't
do anything all this only to make them cruel dogs and very unfriendly
when time pass, they started to forget them.
before yesterday, we remembered that we didn't
give them any food or water for the past 3 DAYS !!!
my sister unlock the door for them and they get out
from the house (~Prison~). they were completely
different. the gray puppy was very tired and depressed
and unhealthily skinny. the sister was fine.
we let them outside for few days when the gray puppy
started to get more and more skinny.
he lies on the floor all the day, when we are nearby, she
only wag it's tail no more.
Today, I wake up only to hear the bad story
the gray puppy, well we found her 0x00DEAD ! ! ! !
immediately after I heard the phrase, I burst into tears
I really couldn't stop crying. I couldn't even see that
cute face 0x00DEAD.
My sister's case was way worse than me. the is still
crying at the time of writing. we didn't see their funeral.
the other puppy was very sad because of her sibling
The Worst part is, we didn't name them or take ANY
photo with them !!! :`(2
Do you ever think that growing up has taken away a lot of your confidence and ability to react?
I, for one think that my 5 years before self was a lot more confident and quick towards action than now. I never used to think of consequences, people's laughs, judgments or criticisms, and would do whatever I want to do or say whatever I felt.
And now I can't even give a presentation before thinking of those laughing/ judging faces that would come up if i messed up.
It was all a gradual slowing down of excitements i think. in smaller classes, we were all wild and energized, playing football and cricket all day, sweating like a mule. then came middle school where we grew a little self-conscious about our hairstyle , clothes, etc. then consciousness started taking a huge hit when puberty and fatness took over...
And since then self consciousness has taken all over the kingdom while confidence is captivated in some prison somewhere, deteriorating day by day2
Fuck you WooCommerce and fuck you shopify, also a big fuck you to every developer who thinks it's a good idea to notify other customers about what another customer just bought in real time.
Guess fucking what. I don't fucking care what uncle deadinthehead just bought. Get fucking raped in a columbian prison and die to aids infested rain..2
The way I understand software licenses.
Cool bro MIT: Free to do whatever you want as long as you include a copy of the license and you can't hold the original accountable.
fair dude Apache 2.0: Like the MIT license but more bureaucratic and few more minor things you need to keep track of.
scumbag GPL: free as in the same way that prison food is free. used by java in gotcha cases as a source of revenue because no one understands java licensing. Often used in the form of a deterrent so you never dare to open up the github page.
scumbag GPL who, realising they have no friends, becomes slightly less of a dick LGPL: But please stop using this and use our more restrictive "freedom" license.
I am not a lawyer. This is not legal advice.13
It's winter and it's quiet. Too quiet. My shitty job has me sitting here, waiting for work to appear. I could be at home working on something dev related and fun and meaningful to the progress of my life but no, I have to be here and I have to "look" productive for the bosses. I hate this shit, it's like prison, except I get paid, so I should be thankful. I can remote into my PC at home but I already got snapped for that, now I'm paranoid and afraid to try use this shitty downtime in a productive way.
Well, guess I better go sweep the already swept floors again to maintain the illusion of "work" for my penny dripping masters.
QQ having nothing to do is worse than too much to do.1
Anyone seen the series "You Are Wanted Wanted" with the german actor Matthias Schweighöfer on Amazon? (Don't know if it's available outside of Germany)
Anyways.. they basically took scenes from various known digital works and put them in there. And whenever that happened i felt the cringe rising in me..:I
Examples are faked cctv recordings as seen in prison break, JASON with the red balloon, heavy rain and the all people are hacked and used thing from a black mirror episode..1
I always get fucking type-confused when marking values as const. Alright, no biggie. Let's just mark none as const! WHAT COULD EVER GO WRONG?!
But since I AM in charge now, I DECIDE: let's just replace symbols with literals if the value is known at transpile-time, therefore making it an automatic const! WHAT COULD EVER GO WRONG?!
Well, enter this fucking failed abortion of a test:
int a=0; int b=1; int c=0x4A*(a&&b);
Alright, interpreter... let's see what you've got...
--> LOCAL 'a' IS int32_t 0;
--> LOCAL 'b' IS int32_t 1;
--> LOCAL 'c' IS int32_t 74;
Oh, cool WAIT WHAT THE FUCK? COMPUTER, EXPLAIN THAT LAST ONE!
--> LOCAL 'c' IS hxlit(74) * (a&&b);
--:::> hxlit(74) IS 74
--:::> (a&&b) IS (0&&1)
--:::> (0&&1) IS 1
--:::> 74*1 IS 74
--> LOCAL 'c' IS 74
Makes perfect sense NAH JUST KIDDING WHAT IN THE NAME OF FUCK. Computer, EXPLAIN FURTHER!
--> 0 IS NOT TRUTH VALUE
--> 1 IS NOT TRUTH VALUE
Ummm... eeeh... what? Is this a fever dream?
--> NO, THIS IS RUBY
--> 0&&1 == 1
--> 1&&0 == 0
--> 4&&0 == 0
--> 0&&4 == 4
Oooooooooooh... so I have to, like, (a!=0 && b!=0)?
--> ALSO TRY BITWISE \AND\ INSTEAD *WINK WINK*
Hmmmmm, bitwise... that's so darn sexy. makes me wanna 0x46 0x55 0x43 0x4b 0x20 0x59 0x4f 0x55 0x20 0x55 0x50 0x20 0x54 0x48 0x45 0x20 0x41 0x53 0x53 0x48 0x4f 0x4c 0x45
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Lately I read post from democracy developer how we are unable to run democracy in direct way. We know something in some fields and are si fucking dumb in others. Sure we could make research, but it takes time which most of us don't have, so we could chose as we feel which could be more less correct, but even doing research could lead as nowhere. But it isnt only fucking democracy, same goes with medication, food, raising children and there goes fucking shopping. We ass people don't like shitty things or more correctly we don't want ti fucking know it and don't want expensive things, middle is the best, but when you could afford best quality it us easy to associate it with price which is so fucking lie. There is this ios and android battle and a lot of others and it is fucking insane. Why? Because everything is advertised as fucki.g awesome, cocksucking shit which could you eat, shit and eat again. It makes you full, well feed and slim, also makes you boobs, penis, ass of whatever bigger than average (always bigger no matter how much average is).
You want to buy coffee? Our brand is fuckj.g best roasted, best seeds from best plantation and costs only 7$ per kg, fuck you because it tatses like shit and makes me vomit. sure obvious scam, but what with 20-30$ coffee? It is well roasted, freshly roasted and do they fucking know how to do that?
Fuck coffee, go to buy t-shit which one isnt fucking cut off efficiency which also make t-shit stretched as ass after naked night in prison?
Laptop? Fuck you each one is fucking best for everhtbing, 4GB of RAM, slow HDD, shitty CPU and windows 10 onboard? Beast of performance and also mobile, the best laptop ever. Obvious scam, sure, but 1000$ laptop? could be decent? Fuck you, shitty hinge and case so it is like fuckenstein monster.
Why couldn't we have honest advertising? because noone will buy it, shitty shit. Even fucking numbers don't always tell you which is better... fucking shit.
Have a nice day ;)4
I swear to god as I see the copies and it same people running around if I have to hear one more person describe a trauma buried time period when everyone else was destitute and being a whore as COVID that they updated far and away towards their own freakish mutated purposes imma shoot someone
Seriously why can’t you people just life normal lives ? Why make existence into a drama filled prison sentence targeting everyone who just tries to retain sentiment and turn the world into a scrapyard of glitching human robots ? I want to know
Case in point record and gradually amassing property defends against this you people traded your futures to the very kind of people most of you are53
1. the latest time or date by which something should be completed
• the deadline for submissions is February 5th.
2. ‹historical› a line drawn around a prison beyond which prisoners were liable to be shot.
(In response to stupid request) "Yes, that's fine."
Translation: "I've come to the conclusion that dying in prison for murdering you, is worth it."
Technology usability for human race test 1
Imagine you get out of prison after 30 years and you want to call somebody.
Now find person who will borrow you phone or find phone booth.
Well good luck !9
When your boss installed Activtrak on your pc and some cctv and hidden recorder in the office. It's sound more like a prison than an office.
Education is the key from a cell but its the skill that gets you out of the prison...am doing computer science 2nd year but i can't tell you what i have learned.. All i know is that i can show you and teach you how programs work, produce something that shows how i think... Its not about the knowledge but intelligence behind the knowledge
Sometimes, I feel my school is a prison.
I'm sitting there, 8-10 hours per day, learnin' things I already know, and all I can do is sitting quiet to `don't disturb during the lesson`. I can't even use my laptop.
But, school also is nice in some ways, my principal allowed me to run a Hacktoberfest event in my school, make kinda radio in our school and make an app for our SmartTV (yep, we have a TV in school) to show weather, changes in lesson plans etc.
But still, I really feel this is the prison. One more year, and I'll finish this shit and go...to another school because `you need to graduate to do anything in your life`. Btw, do ya know any good ways how to become CTO or COO one day? Just asking. Greetings, I hate my school, have a nice day.10
I just tried to get support for a problem we're having getting accurate results from AdWords. Now I know why it's called Google ANALytics. With how complicated it all can be when you're trying not to overspend on AdWords, it's easy for people unfamiliar with it to get a "prison welcome".
Im amazed by people ranting on CoC, whining that is end of the meritocracy but at the same time have nothing against kicking out Hans Reisers legacy. After all ReiserFS is a fine piece of software. It's just that his aspie took over as he killed his wife. Where were those wankers when Reiser was going to prison? They could do great job on forking, renaming and supporting reiserfs. But no, it's easier to cry about sjw and stuff, than saving neat code.8
As I sit here trying not to do the same shit as these idiots keep going crazy and driving me the same place I thought I’d browse the news and I saw a repeat in this precise life stealing scenario where people who are long past their expiration date pretend to be doing me a favor by destroying the evidence that they wronged me and everyone else that was an honest person and now can’t explain them fucking selves
60 year old 50 year olds and such
And a closed network of assholes that repeat the same shit and keep me trapped
I’m trying to live
They made the country a prison withholding media news releases and keeping morons wandering around in a “stabilizing” way
Now they’re talking about a. Very real farce that is occurring in dc yet again
Open to half capacity after the farsical COVID scare again
How are so many people such brainwashed trash ?
Thinking they’re either winning or nothing better could happen while the next generation of dupes is inserted into the mix
It makes me angry
Meanwhile my fucked up chomo father and his surveillance duplicates... well it’s possible my actual father is dead at this point
Still go about business as usual and I find myself wondering when younger people will wake up and when I’ll see some new fucking tv or movies at the very least since seemingly holding onto photos and videos and writing and personal effects seems a tad difficult
I swear to god I’ll be dead before I’m officially 50 !1
Kevin and I work together on a deep learning project. We have to present our initial literature survey to the review panel, in preparation for that after preparing the presentation (ppt) , we needed to prepare for presentation i.e cut hair shave beard (that's the preparation most developers toil at) and to top that we need to wear formal clotihing ! (yeah! you heard that right ironed formal pan formal cloth).
Kevin went to the barber shop for a hair cut and planned it later. The barber was an unemployed mechanical engineer ( a prerequisite for the story ahead) he casually started asking kevin some personal questions which included questions about his stream in engineering , project etc etc.
When he got to know about deep learning project we were working on.
He with so much hypocrisy, prejudice started belittling our project and also all developer about how they just copy-past code from github, etc etc. Also about how he also' can build website and stated that developer make money by just copy-paste job and about how majority of developers are just douchbag and told my friend to regret on not taking other vocation.
I am gonna go to his shop tommorow let me know, how to respond to that jerk.
I am gonna make his ears bleed, thats for sure.4
time of weak blood.
a decaying sack of guts, old, bitter and dying rapidly mocks me for saying i'm lonely, stuck in the same prison, and he'll never be free, or know what being human feels like a day in his life before he dies.