first day back from vacation

Remember everyone. 5 hours of ChatGPT will always save you 5 minutes of stackoverflow

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Holy fuck, I hate the internet

That moment when you tell the head of IT that he 'bought' licenses for a deprecated version of an open source engine for 300K 🤣

Random thought while upgrading schema and manually recreating 100+ rows table; when looking for a job, make sure you look for one where company focuses on employing brainpower, not manpower.. 🤦‍♂️ 🙄

When somebody speaks about "rewriting everything from scratch" I always mention some famous articles claiming: "don't do it!" "big mistake".

Truth is that when somebody says "rewrite everything from scratch" he doesn't mean "everything". He just means "rewrite the 2-3 things that we found useful after 10 years of developing useless features nobody cares about"

So then, yes, rewrite, please

She is my "dummy test" for me to make sure that I explain things clearly enough so that anyone could understand. So far, I taught her how Docker, Ansible and CSS work 👌

You know why there is no sharp, non-blurry weirdass image of these Windows Update screens? Cus they actually don't take very long and in your shaking senseless windows hate you gotta pull up the camera asap to get a picture of it, after you missed it last time.

Can't wait until I'm done at my current workplace (about a month left). I've had enough of this fucking shitty ass ancient ASP.Net ERP-system and employer.

For the system:
1. The build times are horrendous and eats up all CPU power.
2. The "classic" UI and UX is absolute garbage. If I was an accountant, I would go nuts trying to invoice someone. Companies pay millions to use this garbage.
3. Besides the "classic UI", there is a mishmash of different JS frameworks plastered on top.
4. Absolute no fucking technical documentation whatsoever
5. The in-house relational database is a mess, no relations, entirely denormalized, no documentation.
6. The frontend is structured in HTML tables with iframes inside <td>

The company:
1. If you're a implementation consultant and you quit your job, you get stripped off all your projects, you won't get to join anything social and you're placed on 1st line support for three months. They might as well force them out.
2. Anyone can work from home anytime they feel like it without any valid reasons, and believe me they do.
3. The senior devs are overworked as all hell. By the end of the year, some of them have hundreds of flextime hours and won't get anything in return.
4. The CEO seems like a jolly guy, but when you quit, he doesn't like you at all. He also acts like a bigshot, always getting driven around meetings when there is literally a very good metro network in this city.

1. Aim is to complete work as soon as possible and not worrying about good coding practices.

2. Senior Engineers take credits for everything that Junior Engineers work on. And that Junior Engineers are just shadows

3. Credits? Team lead and senior engineers take. Complains/issues/delay in product delivery? Junior Engineers are blamed

4. Testing? Test cases? What are they? Why do we need them? That's what my team lead asked.

5. Take work without even knowing what it is or what is to be done and then just keep carry forwarding it.

6. Junior engineer dares to point out any mistake, he/she is very rude and is taunted forever

And many more.....

r/ProgrammerHumor

I just converted a massive project from C to cuda, I renamed everything, and it just worked.
What the fuck have I done wrong?

My life in a nutshell.

I've been stuck in this timeless loop for 10 years, anyone that relates?

1. Set alarm before going to bed.
2. Alarm rings, I turn it off.
3. Wakes up late.
4. Work from 08 AM to 4 PM.
5. Take the train back home
6. Plan what to do for the rest of the day.
7. Come home, do everything except what was initially planned.
8. Watching time goes by while doing non-productive things.
9. I feel alone, watch porn to fill this void.
10. I get depressed and unhappy afterward
11. Set the alarm for the next day.
12. Repeat.

So you have billion dollar idea, keep it to yourself.....

Food for reference

nathanwpyle

me: your code base is vulnerable, you are not using prepared statements
him: not an issue, nobody knows
me: ...
me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Js developer will understand

Spending half a day wondering why certain DIVs refused to appear in a custom theme I was building, only to find out the reason why was because AdBlock had blocked the IDs being used.

Have kept AdBlock turned off on my primary dev machine ever since.

#cursee&productivity

I'm beating the never ending tasks one after another past few days. Proud of myself and at the same time a bit tired.

Main problem is focus.

I can easily lose my focus along the way and then live the unproductive days for up to a week or more. I'm afraid to fall into that sink hole. 😣

So when I gained my focus, I try my best not to lose it. Which makes me lose track of other shits. Some shits are major like relationship responsibility, social etiquette etc. Some shits are minor like food and water. Nevertheless it's not very physically healthy nor spiritually.

I don't know how to easily switch on and off my focus. 😞

Maybe I should meditate 🤔 I don't know.

I created a script with power shell that notifies me before I leave the office if my train is on time or isn’t. See the comment for another image of when the service isn’t on time!

Lol one that really got me laughing 🤗

I'm not new here but never posted anything... I figured I'd pop that cherry! Hi everyone I enjoy reading all of your rants so much <3 love to the dev community !

Root's shortest and best rant ever:

I tendered my resignation today!
I feel so happy and free ^_^

Client: "Hi, there's a problem with this link"
Me: "How odd, I'll take a look right away"

-- 19 minutes later --

Client: "Has this been fixed?"
Me: "I'm working on it currently"
Client: "OK please let us know when it's done"
Me: "I will do"

-- 2 minutes later --

Client: "Hi, is this done?"
Me: "I've just told you I will let you know as soon as it's done"

-- 5 minutes later --

Client: "Hi, sorry to hassle, but is this done yet?"
Me: *starts twitching*
Me: "I am working on it and I will let you know when it's done"
Client: "OK, well don't worry about it, it doesn't really matter"
Me: *explodes*

Today I spent ten minutes because I didn't see the difference between 'cmp' and 'cpm'

Do I have a slight case of dyslexia? :O

It must be so difficult to be a dyslexic programmer :O

heights of typos

It counts?

End of year company party with 1200 employees. CEO is singing on stage with dinner buffet.
And I don't know what to do, with so many people. If i sit alone on a couch it is not ok. But sitting next to random strangers is also not ok. I hate such situations. How do you deal with this?

One of my QA friends told me today,
" If I wanna screw you up, I will just have to delete a semicolon in your code, hahahhaahhaha ". <for real>

There are two problems here
1. He's not familiar with the concept of an IDE
2. I use Python

Stop making fucking " ; " jokes in early 2019 >_<
:P
#No hard feeling to the QAs out there