Fuck JavaScript.

When is this garbage going to be banned!

That is all.

I can't begin to express how utterly useless timestamps like "Today, about 15 minutes ago" or "Yesterday", or "Monday", or "Two Weeks Ago" are.

Those aren't times. Those are relative descriptions of times and are utterly useless.

If I don't know the current date for any number of reasons, such as when viewing a screenshot, it's a worse description than not having one at all.

Again, I am stymied by Apple's insistence to make everything that much less useful for literally no gain.

I built a feature. I asked questions for days. Nobody helped. I built it anyway, and while I'm not sure it's quite right, it works.

During a code review, I asked for clarification on who the fuck it's for. Simple fucking question. Didn't get an answer. I did get the same crap response twice, though. It's great because it both doesn't answer my question and makes things worse.

Let's refer to this as "branding." Here we go!

------

Root: "Should this be changed to blue? I'm not sure who the end-user is."

TC: "should be purple, then call it something more convenient" (...what?)

Root: "Better phrasing: if we use the feature, it should match our colors and be blue. If customers use it, it should match their colors and be red. It shouldn't be both. I looked through everything again, and i'm convinced that it's only for us, so it should be blue so it matches everything."

TC: "this should be purple, and then call it something [sic] red" (...what!? also: lolcopypaste)

------

But like, that's wrong in every single way. It's internal, not external. Doing both makes it confusing. Doing both and calling it external is fucking stupid. Did she even read the PR? or any of my questions? ugh.

I swear, it's like arguing with a boulder and expecting it to listen. An ugly, oversized boulder that comically resembles Jabba the Hutt. No joke.

Whatever, it can be purple. Later, if someone complains that it's confusing, I'll just link them to the damned PR. Then again, almost everything here is confusing AF, so I doubt anyone will actually notice.

Screw this place. So glad I'm on my way out.

Got blames for 2 hours because our product went down.

Because the provider of license managment went down.

Well, now I put in place a "fuck you" work around. If licensing provider is down, people can still connect and use product (But not create new accounts).

So silly.

So today the Manager told my coworker that "going to the toilet" is an excuse. We all work from home, "eating", "shiting", and anything other than work is considered excuses.

What in the bloody fuckery fuck is this?

Friends Pandemic December proposal: "We should all get on Zoom every weekend, play Christmas trivia games and do shots"

Family ideal Pandemic December: "Lets send each other Secret Santa presents throughout the whole month, and get on Zoom and unpack them"

Me: Chilled out on a reclining seat next to a freshly slaughtered green fir tree, burning hearth fire, warm wool sweater, faux fur slippers, big mug of liquored up hot chocolate, keyboard on my lap, writing a Rust library on big screen TV.

Sorry friends & family, y'all are doing holidays wrong.

Happy holidays.
-- signed, Grandpa Bittersweet.

Late one night I realize that Visual Studio has an update available.

> Might as well. Maybe they finally implemented that auto bug-fixer.

I download the update and it warns me that I must restart my computer. Fair enough, I was just about to shut down my computer anyways.

I turn off my computer for the night.

Boot up the next day, try to open Visual Studio.

It says to me: "No, I mean, you gotta RESTART. Not just re-start, or whatever shit you just did."

Ok. Restarted the machine.

Corporate IT: YOU MUST COME INTO THE OFFICE. WE JUST RECEIVED AN URGENT NOTIFICATION FROM APPLE OF A SECURITY VULNERABILITY IN iOS DEVICES. YOU HAVE BEEN IDENTIFIED AS HAVING A MAC ASSET. COME INTO THE OFFICE IMMEDIATELY AND UPDATE IT.

Dev: I don’t use that mac, it sits in my office desk drawer unplugged. I’ll update it if I ever need it for anything. Which I won’t, we don’t do iOS dev anymore.

Corporate IT: NOOOOO!!! YOU MUST UPDATE IT NOW!!!

Dev: I’m not wasting time driving into the office this week. We have an important deadline we’re working on, I can’t afford to lose 2 hours to this. Plus it can’t be turned on right now, It’s been unplugged for 2 years.

Corporate IT: THAT WOULDN’T STOP A HACKER!!

Dev: …

*Code actually works first time debugging*
Me:

A big FUCK YOU to all those sites that disable paste on text inputs

So I was code reviewing this guy's code before merging into the master branch.... and then I FOUND THIS FUCKING CODE, WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the fuck is this ???

I wish people expressed more nuance in their opinions. However, online social networks are often not built to encourage nuance, and I feel like most people take nuance for a lack of self-confidence which they take in turn for a lack of authority.

How most recruiter emails go these days:

- Hiring multiple senior lead engineers <— That’s me
- 180k+ <— I like it.
- Must have experience with AWS, GCE, AND Azure <— Okay, you’re looking for a unicorn
- Kubernetes expert
- Experience with Rust, Node, and .NET <— What type of fucking company are you?
- Must be on call and 25% travel <— Why?
- Preferred: experience with printer repair, Raid Arrays, CAT5, and Microsoft Access <— Y’all fucked up somewhere a long time ago. I’m out.

Story of my most useless meeting?

Too many to mention. Here's one. Years ago a new HR associate was specifically hired to better engage the workforce. About once a week, she conducted about an hour to two hour meetings which consisted of every 'touchy-feely' idea you could think of. I swear any day I was going to walk into a meeting and do the "fall back into your partner" trust exercises.

One particular meeting, 'Betty' engaged us with the topic of what keeps us motivated, and I was a little more annoyed than usual because I was behind on a system critical project and these meetings were mandatory.

User1: "Knowing I make customer satisfaction my number one priority."
User2: "The strong sense of accomplishment I feel by doing my best"
Me: "Money"
<you could almost hear Betty's gasp>
Betty: "Oh, no, money shouldn't be the motivator. Money is like icing on the cake. Tell us what keeps you happy and engaged."
<other users nod their heads in engagement>
Me: "Again, money."
User3: "I can't...ugh..I don't believe..oh..why would you say that? I think being part of such a great team is payment enough."
<more nodding of heads>
Me: "Do you work for free? I don't. None of us do. Would any of you keep doing your jobs here if you weren't getting paid?"
Betty: "That is really not the point of this meeting."
Me: "Sure it is. I'll bet if Order Taking starting providing bonuses for positive after-call surveys, employee satisfaction would go through the roof. Anyone else like that idea?"
Betty: "Your attitude isn't helping this discussion. Lets move on."
Me: "Lets not. In 20?? the Gartner group performed a study where they 'discovered' the primary motivator for employees was money. You want employees to perform better, you pay them. It is really that simple."
<I could see the looks of "Its OK to speak my mind?" and others wanting to speak up>
Betty: "Moving on. Lets go over the company core values again and discuss how they enrich our lives at work and at home."

I kept quiet for the rest of the meeting.

The poop hit the fan, and my boss pulls me into a conference room
Boss: "Betty is really pissed at you. She went directly to the VP of HR"
Me: "Good. Does this mean I don't have to attend the enrichment meetings?"
Boss: "Yea, that was her idea of punishment. Lucky bastard."

*has a great company name idea*
*tries to register domain*
*domain taken*
*looks at whois*
*i already own it*
i don’t know how to feel

FACTS:
1. Windows Mobile 6.5 was a more open platform than today's Android

Nothing is working today. 😭😭😭😭

My perfect results of Friday have all disappeared.
It now seems like everything was running on magic on Friday. 😭😭

true story.

Well....

Death Sentence for devs who won't let you unsubscribe from newsletters without logging in

Was already communicating with a recruiter and made her very clear (a gazillion times) that I don't want a Microsoft related job.

After a few months she calls me telling about this amazing opportunity; a Microsoft related job.

Told her what I told her fifteen quintillion times before and she responded very guilt trippy/offended because she spent so much time on working this out for me.

Fucking retarded and awkward.

I turned a 20 hour per month task into a 150ms database query.

I feel like a fucking super hero.

FYI my super hero name is ThreadPool (see past rant)

> Find new remote job that pays six figures.
> Only person in the house with income.
> Still not left alone to fucking work.

AFAJDLDHAFAHDKSLAKAGACAJFNSKDUEBXJCAWVWCSNXIXYEVXKCUDGRB/^&@FU+#9$/

JUST LET ME FUCKING WORK!

YouTube recommendations are like when you tell your mom that you enjoyed a classical music concert, and the next day she has bought you a cello and signed you up for classes.

JUST BECAUSE I WATCHED ONE FUCKING DUMB COOKING SHOW, DOESN'T MEAN I WANT ALL MY CAREFULLY CURATED CONTENT ABOUT PROGRAMMING AND SCIENCE REPLACED WITH CELEBRITIES TRYING OUT VEGAN BARF WRAPS.

Its 29-feb 2020
Can we call it 00-mar 2020??

LOL.

Please Please Please remove your shitty ass 'console.log' before commit i don't need your fucking "debug mode" in production

If you are sending me data to use, DO NOT FUCKING SEND ME AN IMAGE FROM EXCEL.

So True...

I had to do some work in an older C# repo. I see git is automatically ignoring each new class I add. After scouring the .gitignore file, I see this entry put in by one of my colleagues.