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SkillsJava, Python, Angular, Typescript
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LocationToronto
Joined devRant on 10/11/2019
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I turned 40 yesterday. Here are some lessons I've learned, without fluff or BS.
1) Stop waiting for exceptional things to just happen. They rarely do, and they can't be counted on. Greatness is cultivated; it's a gradual process and it won't come without effort.
2) Jealousy is a monster that destroys everything in it's path. It's absolutely useless, except to remind us there's a better way. We can't always control how we feel, but we can choose how we react to those feelings.
When I was younger, jealousy in relationships always led to shit turning out worse than it probably would have otherwise. Even when it was justified, even when a relationship was over, jealousy led me to burn bridges that I wished I hadn't.
3) College isn't for everyone, but you'll rarely be put square in the middle of so much potential experience. You'll meet people you probably wouldn't have otherwise, and as you eventually pursue your major, you'll get to know people who share your passions and dreams. Despite all the bullshit ways in which college sucks, it's still a pretty unique path on the way to adulthood. But on that note...
4) Learn to manage your money. It's way too easy to get into unsustainable debt. It only gets worse, and it makes everything harder. We don't always see the consequence of credit cards and loans when we're young, because the future seems so distant and undecided. But that debt isn't going anywhere... Try not to borrow money that you can't imagine yourself paying back now.
5) Floss every day, not just a couple times per week when you remember, or when you've got something stuck in your teeth. It matters, even if you're in your 20s and you've never had a cavity.
6) You'll always hear about living in the moment, seizing the day... It's tough to actually do. But there's something to be said for looking inward, and trying to recognize when too much of our attention is focused elsewhere. Constantly serving the future won't always pay off, at least not in the ways we think it will when we're young.
This sentiment doesn't have much value when it's put in abstract, existential terms, like it usually is. The best you can do is try to be aware of your own willingness and ability to be open to experiences. Think about ways in which you might be rejecting the here and now, even if it's as seemingly-benign as not going out with some friends because you just saw them, or you already went to that place they're going to. We won't recognize the good old days for what they were until they're already gone. The trick is having as many good days as possible.
7) Don't start smoking; you'll never quit as soon as you'll think you can. If you do start, make yourself quit after a couple years, no matter what. Keep your vices in check; drugs and alcohol in moderation. Use condoms, use birth control.
8) Don't make love wait. Tell your friends and family you love them often, and show them when you can. You're going to lose people, so it's important. Statistically, some of you will die young, yourselves.
When it comes to relationships, don't settle if you can't tell yourself you're in love, and totally believe it. Don't let complacency and familiarity get in the way of pursuing love. Don't be afraid to end relationships because they're comfortable, or because you've already invested so much into them.
Being young is a gift, and it won't last forever. You need to use that gift to experience all the love that you can, at least as a means to finding the person you really want to grow old with, if that's what you want. Regardless, you don't want to miss out on loving someone, and being loved, because of fear. Don't be reckless; just be honest with yourself.
9) Take care of your body. Neglecting it makes everything tougher. That doesn't mean you have to work out every day and eat like a nutritionist, but if you're overweight or you have health issues, do what you can to fix it. Losing weight isn't easy, but it's not as hard as people make it out to be. And it's one of the most important things you can do to invest in a healthy adulthood.
Don't put off nagging health issues because you think you'll be fine, or you don't think you'll be able to afford it, or you're scared of the outcome. There will always be options, until there aren't. Most people never get to the no-options part. Or, they get there because all the other options expired.
10) Few things will haunt you like regret. Making the wrong choice, for example, usually won't hurt as much. I guess you can regret making the wrong choice, but my deepest regrets come from inaction, complacency and indifference.
So how can we avoid regret? I don't know, lol. I don't think it's as simple as just commiting to choices... Choosing to do nothing is still a choice, after all. I think it's more about listening to your gut, as cliche as that sounds.
To thine own self be true, I guess. It's worth a shot, even if you fail. Almost anything is better than regret.11 -
Nokia not even having a 3.5 jack to begin with (even when walkman existed): jUsT bUy aDaPtEr dUh
Apple removing 3.5 jack after introducing AirPods and putting lightning EarPods in the box with iPhone: REEEEEEEEE
Nokia switching from one charger plug type (thick barrel) to another (thin barrel): jUsT bUy thE nEw cHargEr dUh
Apple switching from an old wide port to lightning: REEEEEEEE
Nokia working with only Nokia Sync and Ovi that barely can do anything but lag and throw random errors at you: wElL jUsT dOnT uSe iT dUh
Apple using iTunes (Apple Music) which in 2021 can restore an absolutely bricked Apple device from the original HDD iPod to the latest iPhone 12 pro: REEEEEEEEE
Nokia using cheap labor since moving production from Hungary to Asia: *crickets*
Apple using cheap labor at Foxconn: REEEEEEEEEE I'M gOnNa dYe mY aRmpIt hAiR piNk tHiS iS alL bEcAuSe oF pAtrIarChy
I'm not even mad. I'm just disappointed.19 -
This is more of a rant with a question within:
It's International Women's Day and I did not see this hitting me like it is lol, but I have a question for my fellow devs all over:
Do you actually like the system of developers making up fake doctors appointments (or whatever) to go interview with the competitor because they don't feel appreciated at their current company?
Do people actually like sneaking around and telling lies and constantly having to prove yourself to new people instead of just having a process in place to rectify the situation where you work?
And do you actually like having to spend so much time and energy negotiating pay so you don't get ripped off?
I know this happens to all of us, regardless of how we identify. But I once had a recruiter call me the day after she talked to my best friend, a male dev (same experience level), and using his same techniques that we practiced together, she offered me almost $100k less for the same title she offered him the day before, despite the strongest negotiating of my life. She insisted the company simply could not go higher. This affected my friend almost as much as it affected me-- this really does happen. We're not making it up. Sometimes not even the best advice can change the reality.
Shit like that is just depressing, and reminds me that it probably wouldn't be that different if I went somewhere else anyway. But I'm wondering if you like that hustle, or if you too wish it wasn't needed.18 -
GUESS WHAT? HE WANTS ANOTHER FUCKING FEATURE!
AND WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T HAVE TIME BECAUSE CODE-COMPLETE IS TOMORROW, HE SAID HE’LL PUNT IT TO NEXT YEAR INSTEAD OF RELEASING IT THIS WEEK SO I CAN “BUILD IT RIGHT.” MAN, FUCK YOU AND YOUR ENDLESS CHANGES!
THIS WAS GOING TO BE A TWO WEEK TICKET UNTIL HE STARTED ADDING ENDLESS FEATURES AND CHANGES AND SURPRISES. IT’S BEEN FUCKING MONTHS! I AM SICK OF THIS SHIT!
ANSDFKAWHOALIKWEGJFADIO;UGJT;
There goes my Q4 performance review.
> “Accomplishments? Oh, there’s lots of room here. Accomplished: Basically nothing. How embarrassing.”
Hate hate hate hate hate hate hate20 -
- "Hi A, we had a bug in production due to a changed category ID which we were not informed of."
- "Oh but my API just proxies the content from team B."
_____
- "Hi B, we had a bug in production due to a changed category ID."
- "Ah, I have nothing to do with category IDs, you should talk to my colleague C."
_____
- "Hi C, we had a bug in production due to a changed category ID."
- "I wish I knew anything about that, you should contact person D!"
_____
- "Hi D, we had a bug in production due to a changed category ID."
- *changes status to "Absent" on IM*
ERROR_TOO_MANY_REDIRECTS1 -
It's getting close to that time of year when we are all encouraged to think of others and spread joy around the world. I've decided to go against my usual snarky/anti-social nature, and do something to help others this year.
I'm announcing the practiseSafeHex charitable fund, to give back and help others.
This fund will invest in cutting edge medical research to detect the genetic abnormality in humans that results in project managers not being able to comprehend the simplest of concepts.
Together we can find the reason why the concept "more meetings = less work" is uncomprehendible.
Together we can discover why we can't use an automated bot to generate reports, instead of spending hours in excel spreadsheets.
And together we will find a reason why the answer to the question "can we please just try it?" is always "No".
We do this not for ourselves for short term gains, we do this for the greater good. Together we can find the cause and build a test to filter these people out. So that never again will stressed out developers have to deal with these petty ridiculous issues.
Together, we will solve this!
Thanks,
practiseSafeHex, CEO and managing director of the practiseSafeHex charitable fund for the betterment of developer sanity10 -
On the learning new stuff before applying some horrid shit everywhere:
Read the fucking guide/documentation/whatever, few times and if not clear, ffs ask someone - it will make you look less stupid now then later when you fuck it up for everyone!
Dude started doing something new when I was on long holidays, and I got noticed the day I was back.
Said ok, let's dive in and spent all day reading docs and guides, good practices and saw examples of what to apply and what to avoid cause shitstorm will happen etc.
I asked that dude to show me his work on this up until now, and that dude used every antipattern available!
Invest some fucking time in educating yourself a bit and pay attention to, you know, important fucking things from docs/guides! -
I just gave a 20 minute presentation in front of fifty people, and apparently did well enough that I got five private compliments afterwards, including one from the vice president. 🥳
And all of that without a single drop of rum!17 -
Mgmt: We need performance metrics' comparison for those 2 tests ASAP, we'll ping you every 5 minutes
AWS Cloudwatch: *unusually slow - takes ~2 minutes to add/remove a metric or change the timeframe*
Me: *fuck*
AWS Autologout: "Let me just intervene here right before you take that screenshot that took you 1.5 hours to filter out..."1 -
Today:
Rando Person: Also this doesn't work, and this, and thi----
Me: Wait, what doesn't work and where? Show me...
Rando Person: Here see-
Me: Stop ... see how that says 'beta' and not to use it?... and how did you find this / get access to this?
Rando Person: Yeah the customer is using it.
Me: For fucks sake.... -
This is how I feel most of my client proposal start:
* It's simple, I'd like to re-invent <the wheel>.
* All I want to do is use <rocketship engine> on <old typewriter>.
* I'm too cheap to hire a full-time < DBA, DevOps engineer, development team>. Can I pay you pennies?
* I'm poor and broke, can you do this for free?
* I'd like to <commit illegal act> and be <legal compliant standard>.
* I heard it was possible to <fly 30 people to the moon> using <Ford Model-T>. Please do this for us.
* I <sold my house>, but now <I'm locked out by the new owners>. Please help.11 -
There are clients who always suggest an idea then after they suggest they will say "...again don't do this yet, its not a big deal blah blah blah"
Then the other day they will ask if their idea is already implemented.
🤦🏻♂️6 -
In Russia we had a creepy robot designed to be some kind of robo kiosk for our local restaurant franchise. When tv journalists came, after some “dialog” the robot looked straight into the poor woman’s eyes and said this:
“A right arm”
“No right arm”
In Russian this sounds like a treat of tearing an arm off. Everything was live on air.
I’m speechless.1 -
We should once and for all,
put all IE11 devs in front of a wall
stone them with small rocks
until they bleed out of their socks
then proceed to melt them
with a blazing hot flame
until they are just piles of ash,
I will party like a lush!
This rant wasn't supposed to be a cheap poem, but I can't expect you to read a rant in swiss-german consisting of 98% cussing, swearing and death threats.4 -
STOP sending me fucking videos of the bug you are experiencing. I don't get paid as much as I do to sit around and watch your stupid fucking screen captures for 37 minutes just to find 30 seconds of meaningful information to reproduce something you could have put in a paragraph and emailed to me.
Either you meet me halfway and actually understand the expected outcome and how it differs from what you experience enough to verbalize it, or I ain't fucking fixing your shit. For fucks sake, a 40 minute screen recording with no audio does NOT count as a valid reproduction.3 -
Websites with a very bright background and very dark text make me psychopathic. Specially when I'm tired and moody.
Why can't everything have a dark theme and a not-super bright text?8 -
#heavyrant
AGAIN !!! MICROSOFT (MAY GOD SEND THEM TO HELL) GAVE A DEADLY BLOW TO SOMETHING I USED TO LOVE !!
This new UI update is just aweful, i mean, i love github, i work using github, i do so many things with it, or should i say that i used to ....
This update seems so un-natural, it just doesn't fit.
Why would the collabs be shown so obviously ??
Why would the main window be so narrow while the rest is widescreen ????
My eyes get tired so quickly when i use it now.
It used to be something nice, easy to use, but now it is more like a social media than a professional coding tool.
I HATE YOU MISCROSOT WHAT EVER YOU TOUCH TURNS TO BE A SHIT HOLE25 -
Where I work, this is something that happens daily because manager (non-programming MBA) want everything now without proper design and architecture.11
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Legacy projects are cancers of this profession. I would not wish maintenance of legacy code(written by someone else) on my worst enemy.14
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I just want to throw out there for Javascript developers, async and await are the two best things to ever happen to promises.3
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I hate that I have to be careful of what I say about specific languages so that I don't hurt peoples feelings. If you get upset because someone called Java or PHP ugly, get over it.
All languages are shit. If you have a favorite, good for you. IMO you only limit yourself if you think that .Net is always the answer, or if you think that every project needs to be in a JVM.
We often forget to ask why a language exists before we start to use it. No sane person is going to use Java to develop a quick one time script. Same can be said for all languages.
So when someone tells you, "Python sucks" they probably mean, "Python sucks for this use case". Except for Perl.
Fuck Perl.7 -
Newcomer: I can do fizzbuzz in 6 lines of code
Experienced: I can do fizzbuzz in 3 lines of code
Professional: I can do fizzbuzz in 1 line of code
Enterprise: you did not create the user epic for this problem, I can't accept these solutions until you have done this. Please speak with Mike on getting this properly setup. I expect a full report of this by Monday.
Them: but it's Friday...
Enterprise: Get it done. I am not paying your overtime either
https://github.com/EnterpriseQualit...8 -
Feeling super demotivated for code today. Too much to do.
What do you do to motivate yourself on a Monday morning7 -
Does anyone else question their career in programming from time to time?
I've been around this line of work for almost 7 years now and I still get these doubts once or twice a year.
Be it unreasonable deadlines, horrible people that I'm forced to work with or just outright incompetence.
My latest occurence of doubt was when getting assigned a task that initially didn't seem like a big deal, but it turned out to be months and months of custom work instead of going along with the standard components and design guidelines.
This was somehow missed in the estimate phase and once I got assigned to it a hard deadline was already set, to top it off the features was non-negotiable.
These kind of things really makes me feel helpless and really depressed. My work is all I have, and I don't really know what I would do if I'd change career path today.3 -
Please do rename the "master" branch to "Führer". The umlaut will probably catch a bunch of applications that aren't UTF-8 ready.14