Guys I know a programmer is never judged by the OS he uses, but fuck me I want to bite off my fingernails when installing windows...(never touched anything but unix for the last 5 years) :(

Hired a new backend Dev. He writes a script and sends it for testing...
Tester: "It's not working..."
Backend Dev: Goes to Mongo and deletes the tester's whole profile...

I cant control my laughter every time I remember this incident...He claimed it was a mistake, I don't think that it was a mistake...the tester had it coming...
"It's not working" that's all he says every time...I mean at least give me something to start with...!

Cache me ousside how .bat .dat

It took me five minutes before I realized I was looking at it all the wrong way.

This never gets old...

After years of working on projects where you git clone, npm install, npm start, I get catapulted into this PHP nightmare built on Symfony, and that has zero documentation or tests...

I hate Mondays.

Everyone excited about Silicon valley and Mr. Robot and I'm here just waiting for another season of Gravity Falls...

Discovered the beauty of virtual machines

The stickers have arrived to Finland.

I love you as strong as the ide loves the code
I feel you are part of me ... like a method is part of the class... without you i will be just an interface... i feel comfortable passing my private variables into you ...
You are my implementation and constructor
The link between us is like the link between
The bug and the exception
You had me when you hit run

No rant, just appreciation

A thank you to the senior developers out there who take the time to help us juniors out, to look at our (potentially) shitty code and point out how to improve it.

To help us to see the bigger picture and maybe take a more lengthy approach to a problem that'll pay off in the end.

And lastly, thanks for allowing us to learn from your years of bug splatting, stack tracing, null pointers and error messages.

You guys rock

When you find out your password is unencrypted.

I'm enjoying learning Elixir:

MyFear(Elixir)
|> Udemy(Awesome_Elixir_Couse)
|> Phoenix.Framework
|> Awesome.App

Feeling #empowered, sharing some elixir love...

When I have to edit legacy code

Watching normal people use a computer is incredibly painful.
* slow typing
* slow mouse movements
* mouse is used for everything
* instead of hitting the back button, they'll load up a website and go through 6 pages again.
* no shortcuts!

Someone lost their tabs today (Windows crashed), so I said "press ctrl + shift + T". They were so amazed that keys could do something so advanced.
Dhcosncowhtoehwurt hrnxkxxhry he.

Honestly, if people learned how to use keyboards to their full potential, they could shave off 1-2 hours of their normal work PER DAY!

Yesterday, in a meeting with project stakeholders and a dev was demoing his software when an un-handled exception occurred, causing the app to crash.

Dev: “Oh..that’s weird. Doesn’t do that on my machine. Better look at the log”
- Dev looks at the log and sees the exception was a divide by zero error.
Dev: “Ohhh…yea…the average price calculation, it’s a bug in the database.”
<I burst out laughing>
Me: “That’s funny.”
<Dev manager was not laughing>
DevMgr: “What’s funny about bugs in the database?”
Me: “Divide by zero exceptions are not an indication of a data error, it’s a bug in the code.”
Dev: “Uhh…how so? The price factor is zero, which comes from a table, so that’s a bug in the database”
Me: “Jim, will you have sales with a price factor of zero?”
StakeholderJim: “Yea, for add-on items that we’re not putting on sale. Hats, gloves, things like that.”
Dev: “Steve, did anyone tell you the factor could be zero?”
DBA-Steve: “Uh...no…just that the value couldn’t be null. You guys can put whatever you want.”
DevMgr: “So, how will you fix this bug?”
DBA-Steve: “Bug? …oh…um…I guess I could default the value to 1.”
Dev: “What if the user types in a zero? Can you switch it to a 1?”
Me: “Or you check the factor value before you try to divide. That will fix the exception and Steve won’t have to do anything.”
<awkward couple of seconds of silence>
DevMgr: “Lets wrap this up. Steve, go ahead and make the necessary database changes to make sure the factor is never zero.”
StakeholderJim: “That doesn’t sound right. Add-on items should never have a factor. A value of 1 could screw up the average.”
Dev: “Don’t worry, we’ll know the difference.”
<everyone seems happy and leaves the meeting>

I completely lost any sort of brain power to say anything after Dev said that. All the little voices kept saying were ‘WTF? WTF just happened? No really…W T F just happened!?’ over and over. I still have no idea on how to articulate to anyone with any sort of sense about what happened. Thanks DevRant for letting me rant.

Javascript ftw

Every time I mess up my git branch I usually find that its pretty futile to fix it with fancy commands like 'git reset', 'git prune', 'git rebase', etc. I usually find it easier to just start over from scratch.

They should really add a command for that

'git fuck-it-start-over'

Because ...

F**k this. Exactly The same site is displaying differently. Only thing changed? On left access is by local IP, on right by URL using no-ip.

Apparently it grabs CSS from project on another port

Recently been made senior dev at my company... I never really knew the struggle of finding decent developers who haven't massively exaggerated their knowledge on their CV's 😑

!rant
Found this on LinkedIn forgot who posted it. It was beautiful so that to share with you guys.

That's me currently. Can't understand my own code that I wrote a year ago.

Many programmers dont know the struggle...

Employers look for degrees, fellow developers look for stickers - how to tell a developers experience xD

.DS_Store: I hope you and your creator burn in hell.

Report to who?

When your device touch Screen is not working 😎

cleverness of #Apple