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My job is so f**king unbelievable.
I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless.
The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on make-up.
She is extremely self-centred and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself.
She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet.
Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10.
I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts.
I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead.
In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work.
He probably hasn't been sober any time in the last ten years, and he's only 22.
He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big f**king dog to work.
Every f**king day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke.
Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing.
Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single f**king day.
Anyway, I drive these dicks around in my van and we solve mysteries and s**t.51 -
Dear Apple.
Charging $99 for a one-year developer account is bullshit.
Best regards,
Me and every other tech-student on this planet.34 -
A good rule of thumb when developing applications with a good user experience is to assume that your user is the dumbest person that is walking this planet right now, and make it so that one individual can figure out how to use your application.
Good luck..
26 -
Assembly: He’s the nerd. He speaks very quickly and uses short sentences. Very few people talk to him. He’s considered to be an autist asperger by a majority of the class because he finishes the exams so quickly it’s insane and he faces a lot of difficulties in speaking with others. He’s at school but already dressed like an engineer.
Ada: She’s a foureyes nerd. When she gets the answer she’s doesn’t make any mistake. Ada often corrects the teacher when she writes a line a little ambiguous. She’s building a rocketship in her backyard and she’s always speaking about this weird hobby.
Python: He’s Mr Popular. He likes skate, brags about all the parties he’s invited to. He’s good in all the subjects taught in class but he’ll do them a bit slower than the others. Everyone loves him because he explainsthings so well, sometimes the teacher herself asks Python to explain some part of the course. He’s dressed with a hoodie, a baggy and glasses on the top of the head ;)
Java: She is one of the toppers of the class and very popular. She’s very good in all the topics. The teacher loves her but she’s a very talkative person.
Scala/Kotlin: They are twin sisters and the best friends of Java. Unfortunately, they are not as popular and it’s often Java who takes the lead in the group. It’s very difficult to distinguish one from another. Both are far less talkative than Java but Scala speaks a bit differently than Kotlin and Java.
C: He’s the topper of the class. He’s so fast in completing the exams that the teacher really thinks he’s copying Assembly’s work. He has a little brother C++ and they share a lot in common together. He’s the chess major and often plays chess with Assembly and his big brother.
Go: He’s the new kid on the bloc. He doesn’t like C++ and his friends and he wants to prove he can do better than them. Of course, he prefers playing Go over Chess.
APL: He’s a lonely guy. No one understands him when he speaks. Even the teacher is surprised when APL shows a correct answer after several lines of incomprehensible pictograms. People think that he was born in a foreign country… or a foreign planet ?
HTML/CSS: These twin brothers are very different. One is dressed in black and white and the other is dressed with everything except black and white. HTML is very talkative and annoying and the CSS is very artistic. CSS is the best student in Art lessons and HTML performs well in written expression.
LaTeX: She’s friend of HTML. The teacher likes her because she has a gift of writing. LaTeX likes the mathematical courses because she can draw fancy greek letters. The teacher knows this well and she is often asked to write a formula on the black board.
VBA: He’s in the back, looking through the windows. Not really interested in the courses taught in class. In the exams, he answers always with a table.
C#: He’s in the back playing yet another game on his smartphone. He likes being next to the windows also.
JavaScript: People often mix up Java and JavaScript because they have a similar name. But they are definitly not the same. Javascript spends a lot of time with HTMLand CSS. He’s as artistic as CSS but he prefers things that move. He likes actions and movies. CSS dreams to be a painter wheras JavaScript wants to be a film-maker.
Haskell: He’s a goth. Dressed up in dark. Doesn’t talk to anyone. He doesn’t understand why others write pages when he can write a couple of lines to answer the same question.
Julia: She’s the newest student here. She doesn’t have any friends yet but her secret aim is to be as popular as Python and as fast as C.
Credit: Thomas jalabert5 -
My main working laptop has delete button at the top right corner of keyboard just like the normal rest of keyboards on this planet. But some people think it is boring to be doing thing in consistent manner. And so they made this.
Result is 4 times involuntarily went into sleep mode. Gazillion times I swear I can tear the dick out of that genius who came up with this idea and swirl his brain around using said dick. If it was a girl, I'm gonna shove a durain up her vajayjay.
Oh BTW, both laptops brand is ASUS.
19 -
My school computers are *the most secure machines* on the planet as per the network admins at school.
A simple Unix command like sudo -i allows you to break in the system with "root" as password.
Pretty secure, right?3 -
Which retard on this planet decided to put a "continue reading" button on every dumbshit news and article website. You built your fucking website to read! That was the entire purpose of your website!!9
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Watching the Dutch government trying to get through the public procurement process for a "corona app" is equal parts hilarious and terrifying.
7 large IT firms screaming that they're going to make the perfect app.
Presentations with happy guitar strumming advertisement videos about how everyone will feel healthy, picnicking on green sunny meadows with laughing families, if only their app is installed on every citizen's phone.
Luckily, also plenty of security and privacy experts completely body-bagging these firms.
"It will connect people to fight this disease together" -- "BUT HOW" -- "The magic of Bluetooth. And maybe... machine learning. Oh! And blockchain!" -- "BUT HOW" -- "Shut up give us money, we promise, our app is going to cure the planet"
You got salesmen, promising their app will be ready in 2 weeks, although they can't even show any screenshots yet.
You got politicians mispronouncing technical terminology, trying hard to look as informed as possible.
You got TV presenters polling population support for "The App" by interviewing the most digitally oblivious people.
One of the app development firms (using some blockchain-based crap) promised transparency about their source code for auditing.... so they committed their source, including a backup file from one of their other apps, containing 200 emails/passwords to Github.
It's kind of entertaining... in the same way as a surgery documentary about the removal of glass shards from a sexually adventurous guy's butthole.
Imma keep watching out of morbid fascination.... from a very safe distance, far away from the blood and shit that's splattering against the walls.
And my phone -- keep your filthy infected bytes away from my sweet baby.
I'll stick with social distancing, regular hand washing, working from home and limited supermarket trips, thank you very much.26 -
Apparently my university uses COMIC SANS in an official email.....
#fml
Time to leave the planet....
7 -
Modern software has gotten so bad that it even gets sluggish at times on late 2018 flagship devices. Slow, cheap hardware like is usually developers' and fanboys' excuse, particularly when it comes to Windows stuff? Like hell it is.
Software "engineering" has become so.. terribly inefficient. I'd dare any developer worth their salt to rewrite their program to make it work on an early 2000's machine. After all, those can run pretty advanced GUI's, have a reasonable amount of hardware (just think about how large a gigabyte of RAM really is) yet should be able to make for a reasonable limitation set.
Hardware limitations are the mother of optimization. Not every person on the planet has a 32-core Xeon workstation with 64GB of DDR4 RAM and a GTX Titan in it. Whether your application performs reasonably well on your machine shouldn't be the metric. Try deploying it on that laptop you tucked into a shelf years ago and reevaluate.. please.
And definitely you Slack!! Slacking off, is that what inspired the name of that pile of junk?! 😡26 -
Not code related, but.....
When you open a pron site and see this
Guess I should save the planet instead of jerking off
10 -
What an antiquated idea it is for us to all have to go to the same room/sets of rooms to do our job? Yeah sure let's just get each other sick and distract each other ALL FUCKING DAY so that we're more efficient in an office. Bullshit.
Next up, 9-5. We're goal driven, not time-driven, and driven by deadlines. Nothing about our job can we only do between 9am and 5pm. I'm more creative at 1am, anyway! These are systems people created when they wrote with FUCKING FEATHERS. Grow up, Planet Earth.
Not to mention that once you have kids you need to cater your timings around them. Up at 7, leave at half past, maybe seeing your son for a minute, if he's woken up. In work 9-5, even when the next piece of work isn't specced out yet, twiddling your thumbs. And even when it is you can't get it done because people bore you to death with stories about how they're going to a party on the weekend. And it's hard to code when you're dead from boring stories. Shove your stories up your arse.
Then you leave at 5, home at 6, put the little one to bed at 7 and sit there from 7-11 thinking if I'd worked these hours I could have spent all afternoon with my son.
It's such lunacy.
Just give me tasks that estimate to about 40 hours work, and I'll do it in a week. Hell I'll even spend a day in the office and we'll call it 45 hours. I'll work the first almost two entire days straight and spend 3 days with my son. You get the same value as an employer. I can maybe actually work on a project at home, or do a hobby, or, you know, SEE MY KID.
Fuck you, Offices. And fuck you, 9-5 fallacy.
Inspired by:
https://www.devrant.io/rants/4524833 -
Tried Asphalt 9 today.
You can’t actually steer. It’s a racing game. You can’t steer. Game steers for you.
I’m leaving this planet.17 -
Our lecturer writes "extends Object" behind every class in Java. I don t want to live on this planet anymore3
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Google sucks!
No, not as e-mail or for privacy reasons. Sure, that too, but it comes with "free" stuff.
It sucks because it's breaking every possible record in the worst, shittiest, most insanely stupid APIs and integrations out there on the entire fucking planet!
It is comically stupid!
Aside from their LOVE of hard-deprecating APIs every few months, requiring constant, time consuming maintenance of every tool that integrates deeply with Google services, some of their APIs, for expensive stuff, look like they've been written by Bobby McFartface from 7th grade.
Take a look at DoubleClick Search (their ad performance reporting tool, that sure does sound like one). To upload custom, additional data, you must pass in a ton of parameter, and they REQUIRE some of them to have a specific, hardcoded value. What's the point in passing that parameter then you dickheads?!
But fine, so you uploaded some stuff using the API. Now you want to delete everything and try again after you fixed a bug - well you fucking CAN'T! You can't delete stuff, you can only mark them as "deleted" using an update call.
Bulk operations? Fuck no!
Can I just add on top? Well of course not! That will raise a ton of exceptions. Same message should be transmitted using the PUT, not POST request, in order to edit.
Can I send everything to PUT? Of course not! You can't edit something that's not there, dummy!
Can I see what's there so that I can update it, and add what's missing?
Well of course not! Why on Earth would you need to see what information is in there after you uploaded it? Who needs that anyway?
Simply send, pray, and hope that everything will be fine (it will not).
Like holy fucking crap, it can't get any more stupid!
Google is a huge pile of idiots who feed on only a single cow - the search engine.
It's times like these when I think that Google right now is the worst thing that exists for everyone in tech. It's dragging everyone down with their monopolies everywhere and complete idiocy in managing them.5 -
Paypal Rant #2
Paypal might just be the only company with 98% of their employees being support staff because not a soul on this planet knows how to work with that fucking piece of shit of a company's service.
No really, if there was a shittiness-rating from 1-10 (10 = worst) you would have to store paypal's rating as a string or invent a new data type because no CPU could fucking work with such a big ass fucking number.
If I had to choose between Paypal and going back to manually trading physical goods/animals for stuff I would gladly choose the latter, because Paypal, go suck a bag of dicks you useless fucking shitpile of a "company".8 -
The head of the software department of a company I did an internship at once said:
'the stereotype that programmers sit in a dark room all day with empty pizza boxes on their desks is wrong. They are very social and communicate a lot'
Me: yeah, for sure ...4 -
When the code is not working:
I have failed my parents, my job and everyone. I shouldn't have taken Software Engineering as my profession. All I'm doing is giving pain and frustration to everyone. *thinks about a clean way of suicide*
Then after a while the code works:
I am probably the best engineer to live on these planet.3 -
Worst interview is the one that actually got me where I am today.
Its been 15 years ago, but I remember very well. Since it was a startup back then they didn't really have any job titles yet or what so ever. I applied for the role of network engineer, heck I didn't care I needed a paycheck.
5 minutes into the interview the smalltalk left the room and they started asking me questions, mainly about me as a person. Eventually it was my turn. After my first question I facepalmed so hard.. Do you guys have any SLA or documentation around here? Heard of ITIL? How is your load balancing?
They stared at me as if I was some kind of alien that had just invaded their little safe planet.. it was hilarious.
An hour later they called me to come back in and sign a contract.. from there on I kind of multi tasked my way around the first year.. bit of network support & design, customer support, sending and packaging orders after 5PM.. god we had long but awesome days.. hence, we were just the 5 of us. Nowadays we've got 150 developers out of 1019 total staff currently.. We also improved interview questions and processes ;)7 -
My college organised some interview with a company, with the whole demn class. We went there, it was quite far away (50km) and the CEO invites us to a meeting room.
Where he bores me for 2 hours talking about their projects in argiculture and NSA like spying systems at tankstations.
They were caputuring license plates at gas stations and with that information gather data about the person, such as salary (by looking at their car), house adres ect. All without people knowing. And than targeting them with specific ads and offers.
The class of sheep were super excited but it pissed me off. Because he told it like it was some awesome advancement in technology that none of us could probably ever do.
He was demeaning us, saying we would do some simple wordpress sites there and other things. We are probably not good enough forc te big stuff.
Asking him some really hard questions about his projects made him so pissed he almost wanted to kick me out.
When it was finally over, there was some test that you have to do if you want to work there. If you were good enough at the test, you could!!!! (YEEY)
Uhm, I said; no thank you I dont want to work here.
Later I talked to my classmate and friend who always thinks he's better then everyone in class even tho he barely understands OOP programming. He was asking me if he should try to get the internship. I told him; dont. They have no value for us and they think they are the greatest company on the planet.
The fucking idiot go so pissed, he stopped talking to me alltogether and blocked me everywere. I AM NOT EVEN JOKING. Just because I gave my FUCKING opinon about a company he likes for no reason.
So this idiot does the test (which was fucking simple btw, I did it too and compared the results and I had 95%) He gets invited for another interview and gets told he will be paid 200 euro's per month 😂. and a free meal everyday!! 😪 hahaha . That doesnt even cover commuting costs!
My "friend" told him that the train costs more every day. You know what the CEO said? "Yeah but you can learn so much here the also brings value and you're just a last year student. But I think you are really brave for asking more"
So in the end, he couldnt take the internship and I was fucking right. Really I hate these kinds of companies thinking they are heaven on earth when they are clearly not.
I am happy I told them no before putting my dignity on thd line.13 -
Stupid shitheads among the web designers, fucking listen up. Your fucking design is not the point of websites - the content is. You are not supposed to shove the content away to have your moron design shine in its purest debility.
Yeah I know, white space minimalism yadda yadda, clean interface - and you dumbasses just remove functionality to simulate a clean interface, to the point of using hamburger fuckups on desktop. Pull your heads out of your asses, that's not how to design an interface! Not to mention that you idiots still guzzle through the megabytes and dozens of domain lookups for your chickenshit minimalism.
While we're at it, not everyone is 20 years old like you youngsters - you won't believe it, but there is life beyond 40, and while such age is unthinkable to you because you are so dumb that you will hardly reach that age anyway, others on this planet have managed to get there. No 20/20 laser sight, you know.
Fuck you with your light grey thin fonts on white background because it looks "clean", it just SUCKS you wankers. Fuck you with your stupid ghost buttons that don't even look like a button. You know how to operate the shit you made, but reality check here, users spend most of their time on fucking other websites than on the abomination you have designed!
Get that into the shit bubble that you call your brain and read WCAG 2.1! That's not only for disabled people, but everyone will be able to use that shit better!8 -
There is no planet in this multiverse where chrome should be using more ram than an ENTIRE VIRTUAL MACHINE. WHILE ITS COMPILING OPENCV!!! Seriously!?!?
11 -
May be when the first human is born on Mars, we'll have to add "Planet of Birth" to our passports.😂11
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Here are the reasons why I don't like IPv6.
Now I'll be honest, I hate IPv6 with all my heart. So I'm not supporting it until inevitably it becomes the de facto standard of the internet. In home networks on the other hand.. huehue...
The main reason why I hate it is because it looks in every way overengineered. Or rather, poorly engineered. IPv4 has 32 bits worth, which translates to about 4 billion addresses. IPv6 on the other hand has 128 bits worth of addresses.. which translates to.. some obscenely huge number that I don't even want to start translating.
That's the problem. It's too big. Anyone who's worked on the internet for any amount of time knows that the internet on this planet will likely not exceed an amount of machines equal to about 1 or 2 extra bits (8.5B and 17.1B respectively). Now of course 33 or 34 bits in total is unwieldy, it doesn't go well with electronics. From 32 you essentially have to go up to 64 straight away. That's why 64-bit processors are.. well, 64 bits. The memory grew larger than the 4GB that a 32-bit processor could support, so that's what happened.
The internet could've grown that way too. Heck it probably could've become 64 bits in total of which 34 are assigned to the internet and the remaining bits are for whatever purposes large IP consumers would like to use the remainder for.
Whoever designed IPv6 however.. nope! Let's give everyone a /64 range, and give them quite literally an IP pool far, FAR larger than the entire current internet. What's the fucking point!?
The IPv6 standard is far larger than it should've been. It should've been 64 bits instead of 128, and it should've been separated differently. What were they thinking? A bazillion colonized planets' internetworks that would join the main internet as well? Yeah that's clearly something that the internet will develop into. The internet which is effectively just a big network that everyone leases and controls a little bit of. Just like a home network but scaled up. Imagine or even just look at the engineering challenges that interplanetary communications present. That is not going to be feasible for connecting multiple planets' internets. You can engineer however you want but you can't engineer around the hard limit of light speed. Besides, are our satellites internet-connected? Well yes but try using one. And those whizz only a couple of km above sea level. The latency involved makes it barely usable. Imagine communicating to the ISS, the moon or Mars. That is not going to happen at an internet scale. Not even close. And those are only the closest celestial objects out there.
So why was IPv6 engineered with hundreds of years of development and likely at least a stage 4 civilization in mind? No idea. Future-proofing or poor engineering? I honestly don't know. But as a stage 0 or maybe stage 1 person, I don't think that I or civilization for that matter is ready for a 128-bit internet. And we aren't even close to needing so many bits.
Going back to 64-bit processors and memory. We've passed 32 bit address width about a decade ago. But even now, we're only at about twice that size on average. We're not even close to saturating 64-bit address width, and that will likely take at least a few hundred years as well. I'd say that's more than sufficient. The internet should've really become a 64-bit internet too.36 -
These anti AI type news articles are ridiculous. We are decades away from anything like skynet. People have seen too much fiction. Everyone used to dream of flying cars, did that happen? No. Do not be fooled, machines can do clever things but they are no where near becoming sentient beings. You try and build something that has the same IQ of a dog and it will still require a shit ton of power and hardware. Plus as far as I'm aware dogs haven't taken over the planet with their level of intelligence.
At the end of the day machines need power to run and we control the source. If anything futuramas more realistic in how AI/robots will integrate with society than these shit piece newspapers.34 -
Office manager sending a mail that all spaces now only have "sustainable vegan leather" furniture, "to carry responsibility for the planet and commit to a greener company image".
You mean you bought uncomfortable plastic chairs.
Vegan leather is just fucking plastic.
Not all plastics are bad, but in this case it's a very toxic plastic, a PVC softened with phtalates and stabilized with cadmium stearate, produced cheaply in a country with no regards for public health or the environment.
It's about as sustainable as munching down a vegan quinoa avocado salad in a private jet on a transatlantic flight.
There are moments where I'm glad that I'm still working from home, because I would have planted that ugly fucking desk chair straight into the equally ridiculous power-slurping hipster "sustainable vertical herb garden" with its 500 watt growlight bulbs.18 -
The Steam Community forums for the Planet Zoo beta have really reinforced my decision to stay far away from game development.
A third of the posts are people who clearly have no idea what a beta is - "don't buy, too buggy". Sorry, were you expecting a finished game? You wasted your money, then.
Another third of the posts are people making decisions for the developers. A very common discussion is "Should they delay launch?" which makes my blood boil a bit. First of all, you have no fucking clue what kind of manpower this development team has. You don't manage them, and neither do I. So, neither you nor I should be making assumptions about how fast they can fix the issues, and definitely shouldn't make decisions about if the game should delay launch.
Second of all, neither you nor I know how the game is built. These fixes could mean a line of code, or they could mean a re-write of multiple core systems. We don't know, and I'm guessing you've probably never even written a line of code in your life so you REALLY shouldn't be telling these guys how to do their job.
The last third is benign discussion - people reporting bugs (even though there's an issue tracker, but that thing is fucking jam packed with 250 pages of reported issues), asking how to do xyz, posting feature requests, etc.
But if roughly 60% of the community is behaving poorly and actively working against development by pissing off the devs and drowning out constructive discussion, then yeah; I won't be going near game dev any time soon. Sure, developing business software means dealing with REALLY dumb people but at the very least they are in a business environment and not in a toxic forum of bullshit.
Oh, and as a closing remark, I love this game!17 -
This one gave me an idea for a kind of a desktop app launcher that lets you place the applications for procrastination in such a way that they are behind the planet during the day so you are a lot less likely to see the shortcut and want to use them; and likewise for the applications, one uses for work to be hidden during the evening/night cuz no one wants to see that after work.
Not really a particularly strong idea and I'd probably not support it myself if someone else brought it to me but hey, just an opportunity to try coding something different and learn more stuff.
9 -
- Finish all my projects
- Find a job that pays 9 figures
- Cure Cancer
- Refrain from drinking 20 red bulls/per minute
- Own a planet9 -
I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE WHO ALWAYS BUY NEW STUFF WHEN THEIR OLD THINGS WORK PERFECTLY FINE!
FFS PEOPLE ARE JUST FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT NOWADAYS! I MEAN, FIRST THEYRE LIKE, oh we need to save the planet bla bla.... THEN THEIR LIKE!
OMFG! NEW IPHONE X WOLOLO MUST HAVE! OMG MY OLD PHONE IS WORKING PERFECTLY FINE BUT ITS THE NEW IPHONE OMG!
I MEAN! COME FUCKING ON! WHAT IDIOTS! IF ITS WORKING, KEEP IT!
#NoHomo13 -
Fuck that bitch of a mother of mine. After what she's done to me, I would totally just fucking electrocute her (lawyers, this is a rage post not a real one, I've learnt from that previous psychiatrist that these rages can be taken improperly!) or just send a fucking EMP to her fucking "schermpkes" (EN: screens, displays, whatever! Technology!) or whatever. FUCK THAT FUCKING WHORE!!!
Yes she gave birth to me. Should I be thankful for that, in this world where for some fucking reason Flat Earthers still exist, Despastico and those goddamn fucking Paul brothers became a thing? FUCK NO!! I wish I wasn't born in the first place! Or rather, a thought that's been playing for a long time in my head. Why the fuck can't I just cryo myself and be reborn in the next millennium?! No, that's not possible because as it is now, humanity will likely have fucked up the planet by then. Majority of the people are still no more than self-jerking fucking monkeys. With their Instagram geotagging shit all over the place, nametests and shit like that. FUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!! Why are people like this?!!!! Why can't people be a tad more intelligent, why can't people actually learn about what this reality is all about?! Why is the burden of all this on scientists, no those who spoonfeed information into the mouths of the masses, like fucking Hashem Al-Ghaili (which is an amazing person but he's doing too much spoonfeeding IMO). WHY?!!! WHY AM I BORN IN THIS FUCKING DYSTOPIA?!!!!
WHY AM I BORN IN THIS FUCKING WORLD WHERE PEOPLE ARE INDOCTRINATED INTO "NOTHING TO HIDE, NOTHING TO FEAR"?!!!!! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!!!!!!!! You've got a fucking brain, USE IT!!!!
I fucking hate this world. Someone hire a hitman on the darkweb to kill me and that fucking whore that gave birth to me, NOW!!!40 -
Slowly working it up now, actually.
An annually updated, unbiased, multiple source application that engineers can use to check salary offers vs their skills, to make sure they don't get shortchanged. Intended to work for the entire planet (that we have data for).18 -
Best part of being a Dev us that we are basically wizards.
Now stay with me on this. At our command is the ability to think a solution to a problem and only using our minds and some gestures we can create entire worlds (games) .
We can create software and devices that can literally allow people to walk again.
We can connect people who are not even on the same planet as us (Sace Station) and have full conversations with them.
I don't know, there are limits to what we can do but give us some time and we can keep pushing them further and further.7 -
Gave my two weeks, two weeks ago. Today was my last day. The designer finally asked to see how I go about doing my job, and was blown away at how "hard" it is. Smug satisfaction +1.
I leave the office at 5, go home, get packed, and start driving to my new city/state. An hour into the trip, my phone rings. My boss, on vacation out of the country acts surprised that I'm not going to be there Monday. I personally gave her my resignation. Exactly two weeks ago. "Are you going to be at the meeting Monday? We still have some stuff up in the air."
WHAT FUCKING PLANET DID I JUST LEAVE?17 -
Why do so many people waste their time and their computers turning coal into heat? It really pisses me off.
Often I meet smart guys who are fairly decent coders and after what starts as an interesting conversation is instantly destroyed by cryptocurrency.
It is *exactly* like enjoying a discussion of the intriguing nuances of quantum chemistry only to have the guy say, "thats all cool, but how do you make meth?"
argh.
You want to use your decked out rig to make money? Fine. But please help us solve important problems instead of literally wasting electricity. Just google search "supercomputer physics" and you will find a thousand current problems requiring extremely fast computers for number crunching. All of them can make you more money than crypto and all of them help society at the same time.
We burn coal to make most of the electricity on this planet. Most coal stations burn around 20,000 tons of coal per day. The world burns about 250 tons of coal every *second*. This is converted into carbon dioxide. (coal = carbon, add two oxygens when you burn it, producing three times as much mass in CO2, which then goes out the smoke stack)
The big picture is this: currently we are forced to burn coal to make the world work. Turning off the boilers would result in an almost instant apocalyptic collapse of society. BUT, we don't need to burn it merely to produce waste heat in your video card array.
Please use your superpowers for good.
<end rant>22 -
I've been a programmer a few years now and i still haven't had to magically fly through a virtual city by typing furiously at my keyboard
4 -
When the stupidest people on the planet move in next to you and burn nearly everything you own to the ground...and don't even have the courtesy to wake you up before getting out of the building themselves.
10 -
OH MY GOD DID I JUST HEAR A .ai DOMAIN ON THE RADIO?!
this can’t be happening.
It’s such a buzzword that someone spent the millions required to get the tld ALREADY.
sudo save planet —from stupidity10 -
Holy fuck the Instagram Android app has the WORST UX I've ever encountered!
I'm a professional Android developer and my girlfriend had to explain how to see a specific "story" more than once; IE; tap on it until it rotates round to the first! But tapping on a video post turns on the sound! What kind of dog shit for brains moron designed those interactions to be the same?
I can navigate around the app until all but one of the tabs displays a profile page when I navigate back to it. Lost much?
The center tab breaks that but only because it opens up a whole new screen out of nowhere, (bye bye bottom bar!) which repeats the "photo capture" that you can also get by swiping left on the left most tab!
Don't even get me started on the swiping! None of the tabs swipe between each other, like the convention, oh no. But some of them can swipe, yes!
The first tab swipes left and right, where the hell do they go you ask? Look for the obscure icons at the top (oh and bye bye bottom bar again!). The forth tab swipes but only to the left, they have text tabs like standard. That screen that comes up out of nowhere I mentioned? That can swipe too, but now the text tabs are at the bottom for god knows what reason as the top is empty!
On the profile tab we have more tabs. These are icon tabs inside the content now. The first two change the post content from a feed style to a grid, okay, so far so good. The other two? You'd imagine they also change how you view content right? Nope, one shows your favorites, and the other replaces the whole screen with a "photos of you" screen! With not only the bottom bar still showing, but an up button! Where the fuck do we go "up" to on the home screen??
Then we have the bookmark icon on the toolbar, which opens up a new screen "Saved", guess where that tabs are this time? They're back at the top! You know why? Because the navigation bottom bar is still there!! And there's an up button!!
At this point I'm just about ready to kill myself using this fucked up, backwards facing, ass for a face app that is somehow one of the most popular platforms on the earth, yet seems to have been made by five different designers on opposite ends of the planet!
FUCK ME!!6 -
How to fuck up 45+ minutes of your life:
1) make sure you have a $4500 mac
2) download an image
3) realize its a webp
4) google "how to...."
5) brew install <whatever>
6) enjoy 45 minutes of your mac installing all sorts of fucking shit and recompiling the whole fucking planet with CPU at 100% and all apps lagging
7) ...?
I just wanted to convert a fucking image from webp to png or jpeg or even bmp. Without uploading it on some shit site because it's a scan of some confidential stuff.18 -
Why I quit playing video games 15 years ago, and how that impacted my life.
In a land far far away (probably from where you are) on a distant planet (probably for aliens reading this) In a typical city, in a typical apartment, I woke up from a deep deep sleep, the kind of sleep that you can only have if you've been up the previous 2 days binge playing final fantasy 7.
It was a day like any other, except, on this day, I had a haunting thought:
"What if I played my LIFE, like I did video games"?
Long story short. I couldn't play video games anymore. Instead of "working" I saw it as gaing exp points. Instead of "failing" I saw it as necessary to build up character flaws.... etc.
I haven't looked back. I created 3 businesses, I learned psychology, marketing, programming, law, etc etc.
I look at my current status, strength points, charisma points, intelligence points, etc.
And I'm proud.
You get the idea.
Later, I realized something else. If I work all day in front of a computer, how can I play in front of a computer too?
This could be a better post, but you get the gist.
Know the role video games plays in your life, and don't let it play YOU.38 -
Adobe will end-of-life Flash by 2020, and all big Browsers are joining this by disabling Flash features slowly
Let's make a petition to end-of-life Electron, it is basically Flash for Desktops and it is A RESOURCE-HUNGRY LAZINESS-PROMOTING PIECE OF SHIT THAT SHOULD IMMEDIATELY BE REMOVED FROM THIS VERY PLAnet.. what do you think about that particular idea?
#StopElectron2017smhOkayAtLeastBy2020Please22 -
Saw some cheapie little radio in the dollar store, bought 2 of them for reverse engineering. Powered it from my lab bench power supply as usual, and tested whether it actually works before doing anything else.. then I noticed that the tunes were actually quite catchy, so I just ended up listening.
Then I started to notice that the audio wire I was using (the one I've spent a couple of days building earlier) had intermittent audio issues where the right driver would drop out when the wire was held in certain positions. Oscilloscope probing showed that there was some sort of disconnect, with only the 50Hz noise from the power lines showing up. Opened up the connector and noticed that the ground wire had detached. An 28AWG electrical wire that was inside a jack that was meant for stress relief! Yet the copper strands must've detached one by one regardless. What do I need then, huh?! 18AWG which wouldn't even fit on the connector, only to see the strands in that eventually detach as well?! You know what, let's go fancy.. 1AWG which is meant for extremely high current applications!!
At that point I was literally shouting "FUCK!!! Why does this shit always happen to me?!! ONE FUCKING PROJECT THAT FINISHED SUCCESSFULLY, YET STILL BROKE?!!!! WHY!!!!!!"
Clearly I need some fresh air to cool down. On my way to the fast food restaurant to get some Bicky burgers. More shit, humans. One stupid driver who slowed down on me, which of all things I hate the most. GO FASTER ALREADY YOU SLOWFUCK, AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!!! Next a pedestrian with a dog.. I swear motherfucker, if that dog comes anywhere near me I'll personally turn it into fucking fricassee.
Ah and then comes the killer.. in this stupid fucking summer, all that's needed to fix any issue is a fucking stupid DESPACITO, right?! More like DeSPASTICo!! FUCK!!!!
.. Back home, rather tired. So essentially a wire that was specifically built to have high endurance broke on me. Back to Bluetooth I guess.2 -
Elon Musk is building on new, rocket like transportation technology to travel to any part of the planet in half hour. Also should cost same as aircrafts today.
This is man modern day "Thinker"20 -
Soo much fun working for a cunt as a boss:
B: We getting soo close now, the plane is coming in to land.
Me: Yes, but the engine is busy falling off
B: Well, if we miss the deadline, its only us to blame.
NO YOU INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE CUNT, ITS YOU, ONLY YOU, 100% ENTIRELY YOU YOU SHIT FACED DUCK DICK.
Context:
We are on version 8 of our deadline, which was initially March, our next and final extension ends next Friday, we are this fucked ebcause all he fucking does is make bad descisions and pointless changes, we been telling hims once October to stop making changes if we ever want ot make the deadline.
Directly after he vommited that poes out of his mount he goes on to detail the massive change to the data structure that only needs to be changed as he refused ot listen to the developer when they told him not to do it that way 3 months ago.
How is it even possible that someone this moronic and incompitent can actualyl exist on planet earth. He is not even a flat earther.1 -
Finally program running perfectly 👍
But wait.... Lets add another feature...
New feature needs updated matplotlib...
Update matplotlib😒
Lost support with numpy😫🤔
Updated numpy 😫
Run program again...
Core dumped (segmentation fault)😶😶
Time to leave this planet10 -
(Warning: kinda long && somewhat of a political rant)
Every time I tell someone I work with AI, the first thing to come out of their mouth is "oh but AI is going to take over the world!"
No.
It was only somewhat recently that it started being able to recognize what was in a picture from over 3 million images, and that too it's not that great at. Honestly people always say "AI is just if-else" ironically, but it isn't really that far from the truth, we just multiply an input by weights and check the output.
It isn't some magical sauce, it's not being born and then exploring a problem, it's just glorified-probability prediction. Even in "unsupervised" learning, the domain set is provided; in "reinforcement learning" which has gotten super popular lately we just have the computer decide which policy is optimal and apply that to an environment. It's a glorified decision tree (and technically tree models like XGBoost outperform neural networks and deep learning on a large number of problems) and it isn't going to "decide" to take over the planet.
Honestly all of this is just born out of Elon Musk fans who take his word as truth and have been led to believe that AI is going to take over the world. There are a billion reasons why it can't! And to top it off this takes away a lot of public attention from VERY concerning ethical issues with AI.
Am I the only one who saw Google Duplex being unveiled and immediately thought "fraud"? Forget phone scammers, if you trained duplex on the mannerisms of, for example, a famous politician's voice, you could impersonate them in an audio clip (or even video clip with deepfakes). Or for example the widespread use of object detection and facial recognition in surveillance systems deployed by DoD. Or the use of AI combined with location tracking and browsing analytics for targeted marketing.
The list of ethics breaches are endless, and I find it super suspicious that those profiting the most off of unethical AI are all too eager to shift public concern to some science fiction Terminator style takeover that, if ever possible, would be a long way out and is not any sort of a priority issue right now.11 -
me: “Realistically, the only way to pull in this data without replicating and without an API feed is to scrape it from the site”
manager -> to the client: “basically he’s got to hack your system to do it”2 -
What?... really?... You read my code? ...*wipes away tears*
THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!!! You sir/madam/undefined are a true gentleman and scholar! (even if you are just a troll picking random shit apart to flash around your superior knowledge of design patterns).
Any time I receive a code review, that is bearing that is an actual review, born of free will and not a mandatory report - I feel flattered beyond words.
> Think its shit? - GREAT FINALLY FEEDBACK!
> Have an idea? - I'm all ears.
> Trying to sound smart? - You still read/used my shit.
> Want to understand my approach? - Grab a drink and get comfy son.
In a world where I am usually the only person in the world that knows WHAT MY ACTUAL WORK IS and there being only a select few people on the planet able to understand it, I am always grateful for developer feedback.
Seriously... out of your own volition you used my code, read it, made an effort to understand my thinking and THEN REACHED OUT TO ME with ideas!!??
I could kiss you... you beautiful binary saint.3 -
Client: I want a new feature for my chat bot. It should be able to rap.
Me: ... k
*monologue: wait u w0t m8*
Also me: Can you please go more into the details? It should be able to rap. Ok. But how do you want it to look like? How "strong" should be the discrimination level, for instance?
Client: It should beat ass, yo.
Inner me -> core me: Let us just ignore him. We won't be able to do it, since he isn't really explaining his needs. "It should be able to rap". We are not wizards.
Core me -> inner me: Chill. We will just use some insult apis, combine it with cleverb0t api et voila.
Me: Alright. I got an idea for it. I can do it within this week. And if you don't like it, I will ofc do some changes to it.
Client: Hmmm... that's nice and good. But within 1 week?
Inner me: I can't do magic and pull that feature out of my fucking ass!
Clients... clients... clients...
0. Don't expect us to be done in a few days. We are also humans. And not fucking machines.
1. Do us (all devs on planet earth. -Microaggression in 3, 2, 1..) a favor and (kill yourself) learn how to request a feature.2 -
Wtf bs is this? Can't governments just stop trying to control the internet?
It's literally the closest thing we have to a free and fair society on the planet and that's with all the tracking and abuse of information going on. I think we need to start applying our minds to creating a decentralised network with p2p discovery routed through our phones if we want to keep any semblance of freedom of speech or privacy around for our kids. Routing traffic wouldnt use more than 50-100mb of ram and would probably use a lot less battery than Google does listening to our conversations or transmiting our location data so we wouldn't even notice. If only we could find a cable free decentalized way to get data across the ocean no one would be able to control it again, I doubt we would be able to shut it down either.
10 -
I like complainers... So... Someone who works 9-6 (and is often late by half hour and leaves at 6 sharp also takes extended lunch break) complained to my manager that I'm late for work , which I am , no denying , but , I take no lunch break and I work until 7:30-8 . Why on planet earth would you even care to make a complaint about someone whose manager you don't even know ? What the fuck kind of a person even does that ?! No one in my office has any kind of direct interaction with me , no idea of the work I do yet someone found it fitting to complain . Anyway , manager didn't even listen to the guy so I'm good...just pissed at haters .6
-
Today,I found this gem:
static function getConfig(){
$cacheKey = 'foobar';
try {
$config = $this->repository->getConfig();
$this->cache->set($cacheKey, $config);
}
catch(Exception $e){
try{
$config = $this->repository->getConfig();
$this->cache->set($cacheKey, $config);
}
catch(Exception $e){}
}
}
I don't want to live on this planet anymore...!7 -
Not necessarily on here, but Devs tend to bitch about designers and their lack of basic dev skills/understanding (talking about webdev). But when devs try to design it usually ends with a horrendous piece of visual garbage. Respect each others profession and the outcomes will be better. That's why Apple is now one of the most envied companies on the planet.8
-
Had to download eclipse ide for a project
Latest release is called neon
Guess they ran out of cool planet names
😀3 -
!student
Principles of Programming Languages teacher:
No one in industry uses git.
The same guy who refused to take semester project submissions as github links.
Also "Python is never pass by reference/id()"5 -
God damnit!
i recently inspected the c# sourcecode of a webservice, our webservice develop references to.
As i discovered a particular function in it, my face went instantly pale.
This golden-hammer function consists of ~2000 lines of code.
In the first line there is "try {".
On the last lines is "catch (Exception e) { throw new SomethingWentWrongException ("special function"); }"
At least, he "tried" xD
I don't want to develop on that planet anymore...7 -
Sweet baby Jesus the stories are true. I thought this day would never come but yesterday I found a website in production straight out of a horror story.
Inline script tags that contained spaghetti code and static content. And to top it off inline style with position absolute for everything 😰😰
Also worth mentioning a couple of broken pages(404) and a beatufill repeat-y image for the background😳
I lost all hope😂16 -
NASA’s Mars 2020 rover is heading to the red planet and they are giving a chance to send your names with it, yet another time. → https://mars.nasa.gov/participate/...
15 -
Fuck this raspberry piece of shit. You can’t really use it for any serious job. Its just a tinkering gizmo designed to waste your time.
I’ve tried using them for several things over the years. First was as a NAS, it was either freezing, losing the wifi/ethernet connection or causing data loss. That’s right, when all it had to do was to take the fucking file someone copies over the network and write it on an external drive.
Can’t use it to view movies either - sooner or later it becomes slow to the point where its unwatchable. Even with a 1gig video, so no HD or anything like that.
Then i tried setting it up to control the ventilation in a house. It would work for a couple days or so then hang. What the fuck, am i sposed to have another raspi to reset the first one? Then what, the 3rd for the 2nd? A centipede of raspberries? And ofc controlling the relays was always hit and miss, sometimes you had to spam the button like 20 times to be sure it flips a pin high or low.
Then i tried to set it up to control a bunch of mining rigs. Once again random fails, except this time a couple video cards died to heat. No worries, RMA, what else we can do?
Then, random small scripts to read various sensors and post a json. Put a radiator and fan on it, battery, what the fuck not. But no. Random freezing, random disconnects.
Naturally all this shit spiced up with countless hours spent on debugging: is it me? Did i trip on the wire? Was it the vibration? Or perhaps the temperature or humidity? Was pluto taking a piss because its no longer a planet? What are the logs saying? Maybe it will work if we recompile? Or maybe use another language? And what the fuck not!
Who and why the fuck came up with this shit? Is it all just another conspiracy to waste my time? Dear satan you don’t need boards and kernels and java and linux and the fuckton of idiots to waste my time, just get me a couple lesbians and some booze and you’ll never hear from me until i end up in your fucking cauldron.54 -
this === 'rant'
> True
A million dollars for the head that creates a lethal virus that forcefully uninstalls IE and installs Firefox/Chrome and unleashes it upon planet Earth. Sorry if this sounds too harsh but guess what? FUCK IE.13 -
What the fuck??!?!?
I wanna say :-
Fuck!!! What the fuck a sex robot is?!?? Fuck???
Lets leave this planet here humans are thinking to make a sex robot(fuck! ) who can say no fuck?!?!?! Later they will file rape case for humans who tried to force their robot. FUCKING FUCK BRAINS?!?!?
Full answer: -
A lot of ethicists and psychologists think that yes, they should learn to say no. Here is an interesting article about it:
Should We Program Sex Robots to Give Consent?
I agree with Kate Darling, Ph.D., a research specialist and robot-human interaction expert at MIT Media Lab, told Inverse in a discussion about Westworld, when she says she isn’t concerned about the robots, but with human behavior.
However, when I’ve expressed these feelings on Quora, about this controversy I was downvoted and my answer collapsed because people got offended that I made the claim that an object (the robot) could be ‘raped,’ even after I clarified exactly what I meant by that- that no you cannot rape an object, but just as an object cannot consent, you may be enacting ‘rape’ or torture fantasies, etc., on the robot. I think I was downvoted because my point of view wasn’t exactly what they wanted to hear, was too blunt, and the people who downvote opinions that may look more negatively at the sex robot industry typically aren’t feminists in the slight.
It seems a lot of people want the right to use sex robots and also that a lot of people haven’t really thought about it too deeply. Some people say that the robots will relieve women from sex work or protect people from sexual assault, I think these are very bold claims. Some people compare the sex robots to vibrators or other masturbation tools, but this is simply not accurate because sex robots are designed to be much more. They are marketed as companions that do not cry, nag, etc. People that own them often may dress them, tie them up, have marriage ceremonies, etc., a lot more activities than they would if it was a simple masturbation tool.
6 -
Small part of People across planet recognize me I have less free time, lots of headaches, happiness from working code.
-
Aaaaaaaand I'm back! I'm sure nobody cares but here you go enjoy this picture of the best cup on the planet.
11 -
Damn simulation.
Some juniors grabbed keyboard and reprogrammed main species to stay at home and fear of death while I was busy working with other features.
Moreover someone made additional changes from infected computer and guess what....
Unfortunately it’s real time system with increasing entropy and we can’t revert changes so fixing damn shit would take from one to two decades.
We don’t have backups cause last time we used them we also killed dinosaurs.
It would be just easier to erase everything and start from beginning cause our statistics charts are fucked up - again but motherfucker boss don’t want to do it.
He’d rather teleport again to adjust the world. Damn fucker thinks he’s god but in fact he’s just prick with rich parents.
I’ve decided to piss him off by adjusting planet thermostat so we can start over.
2 years more and changes would be irreversible.
Damn job.6 -
Every time I search something on Stack Overflow, I get excited when it's word for word the issue I'm having. Giddy with excitement, I click the question and scroll down.
Every damn time "Question was closed due to being off-topic".
Even when it's totally on topic!
Anyone get this or do I have the worst luck on the planet?6 -
Bill Gates: I will always choose a lazy person to do a difficult job. Because he will find a easy way to do it.
Me: Hello, is this Microsoft. I'm the laziest person you can find on planet earth. Hire me.
2 -
Fuck JavaScript, seriously I have spent the last 8 hours trying to build a fucking basic search application that would take me < 1 hour in any other fucking programming language on the planet. I AM FUCKING DONE WITH THIS SHIT. I'd rather pay some dude with a long ass fucking beard who calls himself a "Frontend Engineer" WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS. Because my backend oriented brain cannot fucking handle all of the frameworks, and modules, and different versions of the same fucking language. Plus its like JavaScript was designed so that you can't not write spaghetti code. FUCK THIS. I'm going back to writing static fucking template code that is used by a fucking backend language that only changes every few fucking years, not every month.
Have a great day. :)4 -
Last day at home today. Moving tommorrow for my apprenticeship with a company that'd likely give me a warning/fire me if I say too much about it.
If I disappear off the face of the planet, it's because I have no money for internet yet.
12 -
I hate this project. Please end it now. I always wake up stressed whenever I work with you. Just let me go back to my team and never borrow me again. I'm tired of being passed the ball shortly before deadline.
Yeah, yeah, everyone knows who keeps missing these requirements and surprising the devs. By this point, you are already notorious for this. I just hate the unnecessary pressure and receiving constant follow-ups when I usually deliver things fast.
You're stressing out your developers. You don't care about anyone's health. This field is stressful enough, having managers like you doesn't help anyone. You don't do your job properly then when someone follows up, you get pressured and then pass on the stress to someone else. You are one of the worst types of human beings on this planet.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, "Good morning."2 -
Humility... NASA discovered a star that has a strange drop in light level periodically. To the tune of 20%. NASA also determined that this was not due to a planet or naturally occurring body (Not sure how they determine that, but a lot of smart people work at NASA. So I am going with it for this discussion.) They have theorized that this object is evidence of a type 2 civilization mega structure, perhaps a Dyson sphere. The time it takes the light to get to us from this star is ~2000 years. So that civilization "had" a mega structure with the capability to harness the power of a star 2000 years ago. What are they doing now? Humbling, amazing, exciting, I hope we get to talk to them! (Also hoping they don't kill us all.) Really, I just want to see how fast their computers are. Yes, selfish wish.19
-
Someone at Steam is having a bad day.
And I am having one too because I can't play planet zoo without Steam :(
6 -
Living in student accomondation :
Me doing whatever on my Laptop (coding, YouTube ...) minding my own business enjoying silence or music or whatever...
EVERY FUCKING TIME I GET TO GET COMFY, MY STUPID FUCKING ROOMMATE DECIDES TO COME IN, LAUGH LIKE A DUMB FUCKING IDIOT AND EITHER STAYS FOR X MINUTES WATCHING OVER MY SHOULDER AND IS EITHER CRITICIZING MY CODING OR STARTS WATCHING THE VIDEO SITTING NEXT TO ME LAUGHING LIKE A DUMB FUCK.
He does that at least 3 times a day, while he should be studying himself(He almost failed all of His CS classes and does not even know how to create a fucking constructor in Java).
MOTHERFUCKER, GO AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.
MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS
Had to get that off my Christ :)
PS : told him multiple Times to fuck off. If i go and sit somewhere else (like library or somewhere) dumbfuck just follows me.
FUCK HIS LAUGH, SOMEBODY CUT HIS TOE OFF PLEASE.
Cant even change Apartment as accomondation ist completely full :)3 -
So here's my problem. I've been employed at my current company for the last 12 months (next week is my 1 year anniversary) and I've never been as miserable in a development job as this.
I feel so upset and depressed about working in this company that getting out of bed and into the car to come here is soul draining. I used to spend hours in the evenings studying ways to improve my code, and was insanely passionate about the product, but all of this has been exterminated due to the following reasons.
Here's my problems with this place:
1 - Come May 2019 I'm relocating to Edinburgh, Scotland and my current workplace would not allow remote working despite working here for the past year in an office on my own with little interaction with anyone else in the company.
2 - There is zero professionalism in terms of work here, with there being no testing, no planning, no market research of ideas for revenue generation – nothing. This makes life incredibly stressful. This has led to countless situations where product A was expected, but product B was delivered (which then failed to generate revenue) as well as a huge amount of development time being wasted.
3 - I can’t work in a business that lives paycheck to paycheck. I’ve never been somewhere where the salary payment had to be delayed due to someone not paying us on time. My last paycheck was 4 days late.
4 - The management style is far too aggressive and emotion driven for me to be able to express my opinions without some sort of backlash.
5 - My opinions are usually completely smashed down and ignored, and no apology is offered when it turns out that they’re 100% correct in the coming months.
6 - I am due a substantial pay rise due to the increase of my skills, increase of experience, and the time of being in the company, and I think if the business cannot afford to pay £8 per month for email signatures, then I know it cannot afford to give me a pay rise.
7 - Despite having continuously delivered successful web development projects/tasks which have increased revenue, I never receive any form of thanks or recognition. It makes me feel like I am not cared about in this business in the slightest.
8 - The business fails to see potential and growth of its employees, and instead criticises based on past behaviour. 'Josh' (fake name) is a fine example of this. He was always slated by 'Tom' and 'Jerry' as being worthless, and lazy. I trained him in 2 weeks to perform some basic web development tasks using HTML, CSS, Git and SCSS, and he immediately saw his value outside of this company and left achieving a 5k pay rise during. He now works in an environment where he is constantly challenged and has reviews with his line manager monthly to praise him on his excellent work and diverse set of skills. This is not rocket science. This is how you keep employees motivated and happy.
9 - People in the business with the least or zero technical understanding or experience seem to be endlessly defining technical deadlines. This will always result in things going wrong. Before our mobile app development agency agreed on the user stories, they spent DAYS going through the specification with their developers to ensure they’re not going to over promise and under deliver.
10 - The fact that the concept of ‘stealing data’ from someone else’s website by scraping it daily for the information is not something this company is afraid to do, only further bolsters the fact that I do not want to work in such an unethical, pathetic organisation.
11 - I've been told that the MD of the company heard me on the phone to an agency (as a developer, I get calls almost every week), and that if I do it again, that the MD apparently said he would dock my pay for the time that I’m on the phone. Are you serious?! In what world is it okay for the MD of a company to threaten to punish their employees for thinking about leaving?! Why not make an attempt at nurturing them and trying to find out why they’re upset, and try to retain the talent.
Now... I REALLY want to leave immediately. Hand my notice in and fly off. I'll have 4 weeks notice to find a new role, and I'll be on garden leave effective immediately, but it's scary knowing that I may not find a role.
My situation is difficult as I can't start a new role unless it's remote or a local short term contract because my moving situation in May, and as a Junior to Mid Level developer, this isn't the easiest thing to do on the planet.
I've got a few interviews lined up (one of which was a final interview which I completed on Friday) but its still scary knowing that I may not find a new role within 4 weeks.
Advice? Thoughts? Criticisms?
Love you DevRant <33 -
*Dont you want to become a professional python dev?“ Take this course on udemy.
DONT YOU WANT TO SHUT UP AND SHOW ME AT LEAST ADS THAT ARENT PISSING ME OFF THAT MUCH? I learn where else because these tutorials are the biggest bs on the planet.3 -
No need to think small when you have eternity to work with. Right now I am building a network operating system, something I've started around 2 years ago. I expect to have an installable and more or less usable system in maybe a few more years.
When I would have an eternity to work with, I'd first look to make our planet redundant. It's insane to imagine that we only have this blue marble to work with, while we have a fireball of hell as a neighbor in our cosmic neighborhood. What even happened there? I'd like to find out. Granted Musk is already figuring out Mars, and he has the money for it while I don't. I don't like the man all that much (too much marketing wank) but hey, at least he's got us covered there.
Maybe one day we could live forever. Maybe we could map and upload our minds. Maybe we could replace our entire body with synthetic components when the frail meat-based components inevitably fail. Perhaps it could even happen in our lifetime, at the pace technology is progressing at. If and when that happens, sign me up!2 -
Employer uses IBM Software, which forces me to use Eclipse. I hate eclipse. Hate is a hard word. I'd never say, I really 'hate' a person. But eclipse, eclipse is what I hate. I can look at my smartwatch and see my heartrate rising, just thinking of how the fuck any developer on this crappy planet would ship that bullshit IDE. That saying, I'm totally fine with some bugs, using windows and so on, but eclipse... Is this a get-more-contributors strategy? Holy moly it really kills me. Hey, let's just open that maven Proj.. Oh, crash. Hey, let's install that "bug-free" version of the maven-integratio... Oh, crash. Let's do a global search over my worksp.. Oh, freezed. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! How can this be legal? I mean, seriously, most junoir devs I know, just use Eclipse, because they don't know of any other "better" IDE (VIM would be better, even notepad). Is there anyone sucking professors cocks / vaginas to get them introduce that crap IDE to students?3
-
Aren't you, software engineer, ashamed of being employed by Apple? How can you work for a company that lives and shit on the heads of millions of fellow developers like a giant tech leech?
Assuming you can find a sounding excuse for yourself, pretending its market's fault and not your shitty greed that lets you work for a company with incredibly malicious product, sales, marketing and support policies, how can you not feel your coders-pride being melted under BILLIONS of complains for whatever shitty product you have delivered for them?
Be it a web service that runs on 1980 servers with still the same stack (cough cough itunesconnect, membercenter, bug tracker, etc etc etc etc) incompatible with vast majority of modern browsers around (google at least sticks a "beta" close to it for a few years, it could work for a few decades for you);
be it your historical incapacity to build web UI;
be it the complete lack of any resemblance of valid documentation and lets not even mention manuals (oh you say that the "status" variable is "the status of the object"? no shit sherlock, thank you and no, a wwdc video is not a manual, i don't wanna hear 3 hours of bullshit to know that stupid workaround to a stupid uikit api you designed) for any API you have developed;
be it the predatory tactics on smaller companies (yeah its capitalism baby, whatever) and bending 90 degrees with giants like Amazon;
be it the closeness (christ, even your bugtracker is closed and we had to come up with openradar to share problems that you would anyway ignore for decades);
be it a desktop ui api that is so old and unmaintained and so shitty, but so shitty, that you made that cancer of electron a de facto standard for mainstream software on macos;
be it a IDE that i am disgusted to even name, xcrap, that has literally millions of complains for the same millions of issues you dont even care to answer to or even less try to justify;
be it that you dont disclose your long term plans and then pretend us to production-test and workaround-fix your shitty non-production ready useless new OS features;
be it that a nervous breakdown on a stupid little guy on the other side of the planet that happens to have paid to you dozens of thousands of euros (in mandatory licences and hardware) to actually let you take an indecent cut out of his revenues cos there is no other choice in a monopoly regime, matter zero to you;
Assuming all of these and much more:
How can you sleep at night with all the screams of the devs you are exploiting whispering in you mind? Are all the money your earn worth?
** As someone already told you elsewhere, HAVE SOME FUCKING PRIDE, shitty people AND WRITE THE FUCKING DOCS AND FIX THE FUCKING BUGS you lazy motherfuckers, your are paid more than 99.99% of people on earth, move your fucking greasy little fingers on that fucking keyboard. **
PT2: why the fuck did you remove the ESC key from your shitty keyboards you fuckshits? is it cos autocomplete is slower than me searching the correct name of a function on stackoverflow and hence ESC key is useless? at least your hardware colleagues had the decency of admitting their error and rolling back some of the uncountable "questionable "hardware design choices (cough cough ...magic mouse... cough golden charging cables not compatible with your own devices.. cough )?16 -
Management: ReactNative is great because it is faster!
Me: What else do we get from it?
Management: Facebook made it so it is good!
Me: 😑3 -
Yes, I have to admit, sometimes Linux is a F*KING B*TCH.
I was supposed to fucking format a pc for a close friend of mine, cause he produces music and win 10 fucked his machine up with its broken updates.
Knowing the guy is a talent I promised that by 7PM the pc would be fixed.
Not really, I'm feeling the stupidest guy in this fucking earth, cause I've been here for 2 hours, fucking trying to extract an ISO image, and nothing on this fucking planet seems to work.
Tried the graphical archives, none open de ISO, tried 7z, it gives me an error, tried fuseiso, which is recommended in Arch Linux' documentations. Doesn't work. Tried mount - o my file.iso /mnt and it says /mnt isn't in the fstab file which makes me even angrier cause I always mount everything there without editing shit. So I installed 7-zip for windows in wine, it extracts until 90% and freezes. Now I'm trying hsuebrirbwkwpxjhw9shrbejejwke and my mouth is foaming and my ear is bleeding my brains out and I don't need you shit.
Fuck you, Fuck your goddamn ISO and Fuck this faggot ass spell checker, that changes Fuck to duck and assign to asset.
Fuck it, I ain't gonna format anyones pm anymore.
20 -
When I was a kid I loved Microsoft because they built that thingy that I could play my computer games on. I learned how to reinstall the magical but fragile Windows out of necessity, instantly promoting me to the position of the family's computer whizz-kid.
Now I just see them as one of many shady international mega corporations who on behalf of their shareholders best interest (oh the irony) are fighting to gain power so that they one day may own the planet and basically rule over everything (yess, stocks reach all time high!) -
People who take 2 places on a busy busride deserve to moved to the toilet.
Rude, selfless scum, go sleep with the shit of other people instead of making my life harder. I've been traveling for 16 hours. There's still 8 hours left and I would like to sleep, recharge my phone and that next to my traveling companion... But you egoistic creatures just have to be a fucking waste of space. To me you are almost the lowest trash of society.
I should simply sit down on your worthless gadgets.
I should simply smash your feet with my luggage.
I should simply remove you from the history of this planet
EAT FUCKING SHIT AND DIE
Edit: can't even do math anymore. I have 10 hours of travel left6 -
I appreciate if someone explains this to me:
Designers ask that we put three images in a grid layout on an Android device so that they can compare which image looks better, and guess what is changed in theses three images: font size changes one point in each image.
My question is: Is this normal? Designers need to see it on a screenshot to be able to decide which fits better?9 -
!dev
This is a weird Christmas. Got sick recently, so won't be drinking. Covid, so won't be going out. Fam is halfway across planet, so won't be really spending time with them. Won't be having heavy food either.
Overall, this is an extended weekend for me.
🍵5 -
So today Mozilla updated Firefox just to include an incomplete downloads tab? Dafuq are they thinking 😒2
-
How the Common Lisp Community will eventually die soon:
Clojure is the only main Lisp dialect having some sort of heavy presence in today's modern development world. Yes, I am aware of other(if not all) environments in which Lisp or a dialect of it is being used for multiple things, CADLisp, Guile Scheme, Racket, etc etc whatever. I know.
Not only is Clojure present in the JVM(I give 0 fucks about whether you like it or not also) but also has compilation targets for Javascript via Clojurescript. This means that i can effectively target backend server operations, damn near everything inside of the JVM and also the browser.
Yet, there is no real point in using Lisp or Clojure other than for pure academic endeavours, for which it is not even a pure functional programming language, you would be better served learning something else if you want true functional purity. But also because examples for one of the major areas in software development, mainly web, are really lacking, like, lacking bad, as in, so bad most examples are few in between and there is no interest in making it target complete beginners or anything of the like.
But my biggest fucking gripe with Lisp as a whole, specifically Common Lisp, is how monstrously outdated the documentation you can find available for it is.
Say for example, aesthetics, these play a large role, a developer(web mostly) used to the attention to detail placed by the Rails community, the Laravel community, django, etc etc would find on documentation that came straight from the 90s. There is no passion for design, no attention to detail, it makes it look hacky and abandoned. Everything in Lisp looks so severely abandoned for which the most abundant pool of resources are not even made present on a fully general purpose language constrained as a scripting environment for a text editor: Emacs with Emacs Lisp which I reckon is about the most used Lisp dialect in the planet, even more so than Clojure or Common Lisp.
I just want the language to be made popular again y'know? To have a killer app or framework for it much like there is Rails for Ruby, Phoenix for Elixir, etc etc. But unless I get some serious hacking done to bring about the level of maturity of those frameworks(which I won't nor I believe I can) then it will always remain a niche language with funny syntax.
To be honest I am phasing away my use of Clojure in place of Pharo. I just hate seeing how much the Lisp community does in an effort to keep shit as obscure and far away from the reach of new developers as possible. I also DESPISE reading other Lisp developer's code. Far too fucking dense and clever for anyone other than the original developer to read and add to. The idea that Lisp allows for read only code is far too real man.
Lisp has been DED for a while, and the zombies that remain will soon disappear because the community was too busy playing circle jerks for anything real to be done with it. Even as the original language of AI it has been severely outshined by the likes of Python, R and Scala, shit, even Javascript has more presence in AI than Lisp does now a days.13 -
Programmer: "Places : instead of ;"
Javascript: "What the fuck did you just fucking post about me, you absolute beginner? I'll have you know I worked for ten of the biggest silicon-valley industry companies, and I've been involved in over two hundred top secret projects including NodeJS. I am trained in refactoring the most fucked up code, and I'm the top C++er in the entire fucking internet-connected universe. You are nothing to me, but just another IP. I will fucking revoke your commits from your gitlab account with absolute dedication using only one Rasperry Pi client. Mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with posting that shit on one of my numerous very personal blogs? Your devices are fucking bricked, kid. My attack software can be anywhere, anytime, and it is tasked to remove your entire git contributions from planet earth. Not only am I extensively trained in remote cross-firewall device-hacking, but I have access to over 100 of the United States CIA and NSA git repositories. If only you could have known what doom-bringing C-one-liner you have raised from my fucking hands, maybe you would have held your fingers. But you could not. You did not. And now you're paying the price, noob. I will hail havoc upon your puny online-presence and you will drown in your own badly designed software. You're fucking offline, kiddo."11 -
FUCCCCKCKCKKC FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKING CUNTFUCK BULLSHTI FUCKK!
I SWEAR TO GOD LINKING LIBRARIES IN C++ IS THE WORST FUCKIGN THING ON THE ENTIRE FUCKIGN PLANET.
sfjipomndgsm8h rteügj8jq9rtg11 -
I check whatsapp, facebook and devRant in that sequence because 0 notifications, 0 notifications ,2 ++s.
Am I being ignored or something by the lesser intellects of this planet? And thanks devRant for all the attention.8 -
I fucking hate design agencies and everything related to fucking design!
Today we received an email from design agency asking us to put two images next to each other so that they can compare and see which one fucking fit better!
What is the difference between these two images:
first one has 28points of text size while the other one has 26 points ...
one more reason to hate this fucked up world!4 -
Hmmmm. Just looked at my security log for my outlook account. A bunch of unsuccessful sync attempts... from China, from South Africa, from Colombia, from Poland, from Vietnam, and from Brazil. All of them IMAP attempts. Good to know my password isn't compromised, but I think I'm going to reset it and double it's length, just to be sure.2
-
There is this docker guy in our enterprise.
Always, he is told there is a challenge in software operations, he brings up the solution "move it into a docker container and the challenge won‘t be a challenge anymore".
........
Don‘t get me wrong.
I love to use docker as a technology to host my apps.
But for me it is not the golden hammer technology which cures all dread diseases on this planet.
Sometimes it is just overhead for the solution of small challenges.2 -
My family supported me in as far as they happily fucked off out of my life a few years ago.
Neither of my parents were able to accept that I had anything other than ‘a little job in IT’ or that I actually knew more about development than they did. They both like to feel they are massively superior to the majority of other humans on the planet. To be fair to them it probably made me work harder to prove them wrong.
Good to see that some parents were supportive of their kids though. And to the ones that weren’t - it’s their loss!1 -
Just went an entire day at work without a computer.
I know we usually rant about meaningless meetings and waste of time conversations but they are great for avoiding work while seeming very busy and productive.1 -
FX [ Buys something on Amazon.. ]
FX [ Decides to leave feedback / review... ]
--------
We apologize but this account has not met the minimum eligibility requirements to write a review. If you would like to learn more about our eligibility requirements, please see our community guidelines.
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What would those be ?!?
I mean, I've only been a customer since like, forever !
FX [ Goes to read small print.. ]
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Eligibility
To contribute to Community Features (for example, Customer Reviews, Customer Answers), you must have spent at least £40 on Amazon using a valid payment card in the past 12 months.
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Well, FU then.
The item took 4 months to arrive as it was. (Which I thought might be worth mentioning in the review, along with how the item is actually the same as another item with a different name..)
This item was supposed to be according to the reviews, superior to the other brand..
Only, they are both made by the same parent company, even come in the same type, style of boxes !
So, really are "The same"..
So you don't need to wait 4 months to buy the better version.. (Which is oddly cheaper..)
But I can't tell anyone this, because Amazon won't let me..
They come in different sizes (small, medium, large I think.. small for fingernails, larger for toenails, though if you have small toenails, small will do for both! or larger for fingernails if you have huge fingers..), and lots of different models (With different features..), pricing from $10 USD to $30 depending upon which one you want.
Related links:
https://youtube.com/watch/...
> Seki Edge Nail Clippers The Best Fingernail
> Clippers On The Planet? - Hygiene Episode 01
https://youtube.com/watch/...
> TAKUMINOWAZA Stainless Steel Cuticle
> Nipper Nail Clipper Handmade in Japan
Shows you a good selection in relation to hand size.
I went for the G-1200 (pictured.) as it has a nail catcher, but I wasn't sure if it would get in the way of cutting toenails, or if the nail catcher bit was removable or not.
It doesn't get in the way, and is removable.
It doesn't work very well in practice to catch nails mind you..
The other model is the G-1113, similar, no nail catcher, less plastic.
Both come with a really good nail file part, so you don't have to lug half a brick around to finish your nails with..
Only took me 50 years to hear about them..
This has been a public service announcement..
8 -
i was about to talk about golang - but it can wait.
snapchat's discover section is TERRIBLE. the amount of BULLSHIT, INCORRECT INFORMATION, AND PURE IDIOCY IS MAKING IT TERRIBLE.
now, usually, i rant about mashable when i say it's terrible. AT LEAST WHEN MASHABLE WROTE ABOUT THIS THEY WERE CORRECT. but no, alas, my faith in humanity is put to an all time end. a new evil has arose, by the name of "wired."
of course, and incredibly late to the party, a "tech" outlet wrote about bitcoin. the headline was "is bitcoin killing the planet?" IT HAS BEEN POSSIBLY THE STUPIDEST ARTICLE IVE READ OF ALL TIME. THEY CLEARLY HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT ANY SHIT THEYRE TALKING ABOUT.
let's take a look at the TWO facts they got wrong, and displayed to over a MILLION people.
now, instead of just GOOGLING TWO SIMPLE FACTS, THEY DECIDED TO JUST WRITE RANDOM SHIT.
ENOUGH WAITING - HERE THE THE TWO FACTS THEY GOT WRONG
picture 1: bitcoin up $900 in the last year? THE LAST MOTHER FUCKING, COCK SUCKING
.
.
.
YEAR?!?
WHY DO SUCH DUMBASSES HAVE ACCESS TO SOMETHING MILLIONS VIEW?
IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE
picture two: the actual fuck????
did i just read that?
b- bi- bitcoin will "run dry" BY 2032.
i think i finally figured it out.
these facts, they're literally just random number.
<thoughtBubble>
i can see it now:
wired employee 1: hey, guess what number im thinking of?
wired employee 2: 14?
wired employee 1: *screaming* BITCOIN WILL RUN DRY IN 14 YEARS
</thoughtBubble>
how do these people get hired. do they hire only hire 12 year old interns? im genuinely asking. does anyone know?
okay, end of rant. plz continue complaining about dumbasses who have power thru the media in tech8 -
UI bug is found to only occur in Firefox.
Director sends mass email telling dev & qa to only test using IE11. -
What got you into programming?
For me, it were the games. I was and still am amazed by how games work, from one side of the planet to the other side, how good the visual effects are...2 -
My dream project -
An App that will reduce human impressions from this country without bloodshed.
Seriously ... People are everywhere, here. It is surety that you will get to see some or many people, no matter where you are. Park, Jungle, Mountain, River bed, Abandoned Land, Osama's bunker, House with annabelle ghost, Cloud, Space, Other planet .... damn
That way I am only helping mankind and nature. And then I will get nominated for Nobel Prize too.3 -
#Apple #FaceID
Yet another step towards the God's eye in Fast & Furious. Since it requires a 360 scan of a face, CIA just requires a photo to find anyone in the planet who's using an iPhone X [Stands for Expensive]. There's a reason why Apple ditched the fingerprint sensor.
RIP #Privacy 😶
5 -
This is embarrassing, but the first days of learning about AngularJS I had to implement functionality about a new component of the WebApp I was building.
I did a good templating, I build the component along with its controller and services, I verified there wasn’t any memory leak and that everything was in an isolated scope. Yet nothing at all appeared on the app. It took me more than 30 minutes until I realized...
I didn’t put the source code on the index.html file 😅
For people who know more about compiled languages such as C or Java... that’s like not putting your source code file in the makefile. 😅
I felt literally like the dumbest person in the planet at that moment. 😀🔫1 -
Just echoed /dev/null to .bashrc instead of .bash_history. I've been adding to that file since Ubuntu 16.04 came out.7
-
!dev
Jeff Bezos is now the wealthiest person the planet. Not in history, like an incorrect article I read. Shortlist of wealthier historical figures (certainly, given inflation) : Mansa Musa/Malian kings of same lineage, The British Monarchy for approx 1000 years, Roman Caesars, Lorenzo D'Medici, Francesco Borgia. The list goes on...
Whats actually troubling besides the fact that a well known publication would print something so historically inaccurate, is that the wealthy of today can only properly be compared to monarchs, warlords, and god-kings. THAT, is a terrifying reality.5 -
Access undefined as undefined....
Apple devs need a break. Xcode devs need to be sent to another planet -_-
4 -
Definitely project life on this planet.
Being optimist helps a lot but I still have no clear answer who send me here.2 -
I can see life is meaningless and the only reason of my short visit to this planet is to pass on my vain selfish genes.
But what drives me every day is the exponential trends of tech and the looming technological singularity in the 2040s. And the prospect of staying alive for billions of years mapping exoplanets, contributing in every way I can.
Until we reach a Type 10 civilization and beyond, I'm not sure when I might want to hang up my coat.
Still if I can't make it to the singularity, that's cool also, after all life is meaningless.
I'm chill with anything.42 -
(I am attending Uni)
I have reached a point in my life where exams are the least source of stress possible on this planet.
Someone help me with these deadlines please!3 -
What the fuck is up with Facebook's video player. How the fuck does the biggest social media platform on the planet, fuck up something so important to it. The UX is garbage, autoplay is a cunt with it starting at maximum volume each fucking time. Fucking EllenTube is better than that fucking shit.7
-
Unemployment week one.
Tired of unsuccessful HR and engineering talks with people who don’t know what they want.
When you answer their questions they got pissed because they had something else in mind. Sorry I don’t read in people’s minds asshole.
Others try to be smart and give you some fancy acronyms. Yeah because that’s most important in coding - to memorize useless acronyms.
I responded with acronyms I know and they got pissed more cause my are more funny and cover all of theirs. Thanks KISS 💋
Some of them are like I am fucking smartest asshole on this video chat and you can’t have been working with all of those technologies, yeah I just typed hello world for 15 years in one language and stupid /REST shitty software like you do it in your one job in your lifetime.
Others are asking for cv, talking about this fancy great project that in fact you know how it will look like cause you’re experienced motherfucker who can pick up nuisance but still lets get hired first and then think what to do next with this shitty crap. So they respond after two weeks that client changed their mind and if you want to fill some quiz about your hiring process.
There are also ones that got impressed so much they’re talking 1 hour that you will be our next cto and then ending process with email that there were better candidates and also post same offer on job board next day 🤦♂️
I think I just skip this shitty nightmare and concentrate on some personal project until I spend all my savings.
I just need to concentrate on one thing and not get distracted with 1000s of voices shouting “pick me” in my head.
Fuuuuuuck
If you got offended fuck you unless you like it.
After working in one project in a big happy days bubble without distraction for couple of years I underestimated how fucked up people are in real world.
We’re making hell by ourselves on this planet we don’t need much help.5 -
Why in the fuck can't you transfer a domain name for 60 fucking days? This makes no sense. My dumbass purchased a domain from Google Domains and registered it with Google Sites. Now I just realized that Google Sites is useless as fuck. It's more useless than a plastic bag of dicks. The dust on my window seal serve more purpose on this planet than Google Sites. That's how useless Google Sites is. Now I want to switch to Square Space or host it myself but have to wait 60 fucking days.
I could just buy a new domain for 12 bucks but I had the perfect name. Fuck ICANN for their stupid idiotic pointless motherfucking policy. Fuck.1 -
If software developers / engineers and various other technical people stop serving banks and governments and become free minded we’re be having our own clothes and food served to us whenever we want and where we want by now.
Fucking capitalism and stupid dickheads.
I think being able to be served by robots in your own house to provide you everything you need is first step for long spaceship trips that can take over galaxies.
Living on this planet is boring as fuck.2 -
Trying to buy a domain on sedo but the guy is looking for $8000!!
What planet is he on it’s 2018 and the domain is quite niche. It’s not exactly pizza.com
Cunts be crazy! -
!(pure)dev
This might sound like generalisation but the amount of paper people in France (atleast Paris) waste uneccesarily is shocking. It disturbs me to see some jackass printing pages after pages of garbage in the office each time they want to check if a printer is working as expected. Or the professors using huge white sheets to explain shit when the white board is right fucking behind them (to add to it, they use only one side of the sheet). Or literally every single store handing out paper receipts for a 1€ chocolate I buy. Why isn't their a digital alternative? Why are people so not bothered about how much they're fucking the planet just coz they have enough resources to live happily?
If machines ever overthrow humanity, I'm sure they'll do a better job in tidying up everything.4 -
Tl;dr coding is awesome, but teaching good programming skills is fundamental. Take some time to teach and help someone in need!
This morning I had to help two of my students who were unable to write a simple program to simulate a random sampling. It reminded me of how helpless I felt when I started out, and how I felt stupid for not getting easy concepts (and now I'm in love with programming). Here on devRant I hear so many stories about bad programming teachers, but it doesn't have to be that way. I'm the most impatient person on this planet, but I love teaching and I wish more people did it. So, go out and spread the word, fellow devRanters!3 -
!dev
Don’t mind about global warming, we’re gonna extinct ourselves long before that becomes a problem.
Whatever exactly happened in Russia doesn’t even matter. It shows that the military / governments build devices that can wipe us all off the surface of our planet. Be it accidentally or on purpose doesn’t even matter..
How fucking stupid can a race be to build stuff like that?
Imagine such a thing would explode in near to a major city during transportation.
Or imagine a power plant near Zurich blows up. I mean there are enough of them all around the city.
I get it that we needed those technologies back in the days but we have so many alternatives by now. It’s just a matter of money.
It’s just madness.. and fucking stupid. And sad.9 -
Is Skype the most fucking annoying software on this planet? How do they manage to fuck it up on every release even more? Currently it most of the time just is not sending the stuff you write in the chat. It's just loading for ever and you need to write it again...8
-
Does someone else have that too?
Sometimes at night when I'm creating something new (or adding to something) and I get into that zone when stuff suddenly works better than expected or when the thing I'm making is just awesome, I feel a need to turn on "evil" music, such as music with deep voiced male choirs, the soundtrack of Portal 2, some classic music like those evol geniuses in movies or comparable.
It just makes me feel like I'm gonna destroy the planet once my evil creation is done. -
My poor colleagues man... Feeling quite bad for them right now. I mean, they must be suffering so badly at the moment.
I mean, who wants to be getting paid to go to Venice anyway? Pfft... Definitely not me. Nope. Not jealous in the slightest. Or China, where the other one currently is.
No no, I am perfectly fine, just chilling, basking even, in the glory of this country town, that I only get to come to 5 days a week. Overall I should be quite grateful for opportunity I suppose. It's not often you get to dodge the "travelling across the planet on an all expenses paid while getting paid to be in one of the most beautiful cities on the planet" bullet. I truly am a fortunate man.
My prayers go out to them, I hope yours do too :'( -
To be able to work from anywhere on this planet as long as there is internet connection.
Travel the world while working, who else could do that without being told when to be where?2 -
The more I live on this world the more I believe human genome was send by someone to destroy this planet because they want to build intergalactic spa for giants with lots of sand and large pool.1
-
Why are there no crocs in the avatar shoes options?
I'm the saddest man on the planet.
PD: Does someone knows what does the design team uses to create the models and what format they need? I might be able to make one and send it to them.5 -
Everytime I see someone from Netherland complaining about their internet speeds I get angrier at IPSs. Amsterdam is the fucking biggest node on the fucking planet, if you can not get at least 25/10 in there, your IPS should just fucking die.1
-
Hello.
So we have a query inside our company :
We are developers. We are (At least supposed to) logic.
Do you think We developers can influence environment of the planet?
For my self : Not sure, but I would like to believe that more my code is optimized, less resources it will use.2 -
When you hate every fucking thing on earth and want to kill everyone on this fucked up planet.
That bug didnt fix. Fuck you.
The client needs answer now. Fuck you.
Stackoverflow user marked it as duplicate. Fuck you in particular.
Fuuuuuuuccckkkkkkkkkk every fucking asshole. -
!dev
Just some more thoughts on Life and money, a spiritual sequel to my previous rant on money:https://devrant.com/rants/2854425/...
Based on thoughts from other people and my own experiences, I have made this pyramid(Please point me to stuff like this, if you have already seen one)
I will call it as "Goals of a general Human". Say if you have suddenly born into the world fully naked onto a street with a 21 year old body( in other words fully independent and without relations) , then i guess this would be your goal to live your next 60-80 years:
0. The zeroth point to note is that this pyramid runs on money. Their is no way a person could create even the bottommost level without money. Weather you earn it by yourself , someone else give it to you or you take it forcefully, everything could be just achieved by money.
1. The first thing for any human is to achieve the minimum requirements of living : food , clothes, shelter and education.
I often feel everyone should be definitely getting this, but sadly the biggest competition to struggle for life is seen in this level.
2. the 2nd comes equally as soon as the first gets filled: The need to get safety and health for ourselves. People are forced to live in pollution filled areas, near garbage or eating unhealthy food. Personally if i have made sure that i have clothes to wear, food to eat and a shelter above, i can only then make sure if the plate i am eating is clean, the cloth i am wearing is untainted and the place i am living is without any open sewer. Other than that.
3. The next comes the investments. People invest , keep their money in banks, buy lands and properties so as to have some money in case their daily life got disrupted, but more so for future needs.
4. The next comes the luxury. The Usually the people will put luxuries at par with basic needs . Personally.
5. The final stage is the power. Its a situation when you have a hell lot of money: you are no longer worried about the basic needs, quality of life, future needs, you can have the luxury as much as you want and yet you still have the money. At this stage you are powerful. Not just because you have a particular amount of money, but because for you, so much money is coming in "You can have whatever you want".
And that's where you get the definition of power : To be able to do what you want, without someone stopping you or without someone's help . You want a helipad in your home? done. You want to become the president of US? Done.
The power is so sweet to have that it eventually becomes a cockfight. Once you are the biggest in town, you want to continue working on it to remain the biggest. That's why i didn't capped the power triangle
-----------------------------------
I am often conflicted about what i really want. I do not desire the power. The definition of power is self centric, but its just not following the conventional system: If you want something you can achieve it no matter the impact on other people.
So do you really want to be that god like personna who could have anything without thinking about the impact? I am pretty sure that since money is so much intermingled with our lives , that if jeff bezos wants to get something done, without considering the society, it would definetly be harming someone on this planet.
Thus the "consideration" clause is very important at this level which could either make you the god or villain. I do not find myself in either of those shoes .
I am not sure if anyone has the right to be powerful. Every discussion that i could think of will result in someone coming out as villain or vcitim because of power. As @Fast-Nop pointed out in my previous post, having the ability to get what we want is not always highly impactful (Sorry for pointing you out, Fast-Nop). For eg, a sick rich family could get their loved ones treated faster through backdoors and other sources using money. but again, others got their life served through fate while the rich secured their life through money(welp, 2Large is suddenly the villain. Again, don't wanna go into that debate. I am just looking for a meaning of life)
I do not desire the luxuries (level 4). I *demand* for the basic necessities and health and safety. I wish to live in a world where i do not think of securing my future. Am I born in the wrong century or do i need to get a better mindset?
18 -
Me: *tinkering on a webpage that spits out random characters, motivations, themes, and genres for the purpose of short story creation*
Me: Okay, so we have a young girl, with the motivation of The Power of Friendship, the theme of Crime, with the story structure of Dan Harmon, and set in a Fantasy genre.
Coworker: Dan Harmon? Improvise. Wait... A young girl, on a Purge planet who befriends Morty... I mean a young boy from a different universe.
Me: *a minute later* Wait a second, that was an episode of Rick and Morty!!
Coworker: I did that on purpose because you said Dan Harmon.1 -
Hello world? Why is everyone being so friendly to the stupid planet? It won't even go out of the way to say something back! Go talk to a real person, damn nerds.
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> Can you help me make this excel document more readable when it's printed? *looking to change the text size and column widths*
Who do you think I am, Mr fucking clippy? Why are you printing it anyway? Step into the millennium and email it to them you fucking nugget, save the planet.
This was after three people already approached my desk in a line, five minutes after I got in. All asking stupid questions, which not only do they have a service desk for but could quite easily Google. -
WHITEPAPERS.
Not exactly a programming problem, but one of my many task (as i am apparently a multi headed hydra) is it to find Software for tasks. I made the experience, as more marketing experts are on it, and as more SEO is poured in as more information about a topic degrade.
Two examples:
i wanted to find out if there is anything that speaks AGAINST "the cloud" as a concept for Data Procesessing and Storage. (Beside that the company internet connection is crap). There are tons of documents that in a semi "scientific" way show that having a data centre with a constant staff of experts is superios to everything. And it goes on, every company has a different version of basically the same document, and they all subtley show that THIS company is the best.
Example 2:
ERP Software, the most infested pool of filth i have entered yet, be it just a tiny CRM System or a full blown SAP clone, they all have those "Whitepapers" that first look somewhat scientific or informative. Like "the top8 common pitfalls when introducing an ERP system". 7 of them read logically and were what i expected, the 8th was "dont get your IT involved".
Yeah sure, IT doesnt understand economical processes, fair enough, but not getting it involved at all sounds like selfdefense. A further look showed me that this particular vendor has a web-based solution but doesnt provide any further informations (srsly, the website is starved of actual hard informations). The screenshots let the software look a bit oldschool but what really threw red flags for me was the sentence "we are ready for Win10, we did significant adjustment to perform excellent with Windows 10"
So, either they have some system interwoven stuff (so why bother with Webbase then?) or its just another marketing bullshit sentence.
Either way, i found it to be really hard to get ANY reliable information about this particular topic which adds to the overall world experience of missinformations and the all-being "fakenews". But for many things one can usually filter through a lot of different informations that can be pieced together, with this..its all outright propaganda camouflaged as "useful information", some even try to let it look scientific. In the end its all biased..
ultimativly, this rant is about all the people that write those missleading whitepapers, fill the world with biased informations and make the whole planet a worse place.4 -
Well. I'm stressed and a bit sick so let me tell you this you fuckers: I don't want to play in your little mindfucking game where everything is about efficiency, money and who has the biggest dick around.
Usually I'm the idealistic, positive kind of guy who spreads love and lets people do their things as long as they just don't fuck with him.
Right now though, just go fuck yourself in your damn stupid car you fancy fucker because I don't care about your big dick you have to show off on every occasion. I don't give a fuck about your big paycheck or your smart ass. I'm so sick of this industry mouse wheel and modern slavery where it is made extra hard to enjoy our lives and unfold who we really wanna be because some stupid asshead is not able to fill his hollow emptiness with bare love but has to swallow loads of cash instead giving him the craziest form of diarrhea.
Com'on! We kind of tamed the planet. We put so much effort and created a huge system with so many securities and still we are not able to simply live freely, share love, opinions and great ideas. Why is it still so common to define yourself about your projects, paycheck and false effort? Instead of how much good you give to others, how self-consistent you are, how good you treat yourself?
All I want from you is a bit honesty to yourself. How about being nicer to yourself, letting your love unfold for the sake of releasing that love to the world?
For me you will be a hero!
Notes:
I believe that the personal happiness is influenced not only by your surroundings but mostly how you interact with it. Karma basically. So yeah, normally I'd say you can simply decide to ignore that shit, walk on your path and decide to be what you want to be no matter what dickheads cross your path, but honestly I just had to get that rant out because this ridiculous nonsense makes me so sick right now.
I'm successful right now. I have the privilege to decide on being happy and I know that not everyone has this privilege. I believe, spreading love will also spread this privilege.
That said, have a nice day!4 -
Postgresql kept shutting down at odd times. Then it became predictable. I googled, went through mailing lists, archives, old threads, Stack overflow, friends, family, my bosses, my old colleagues, forums, chat groups and paid redhat support.
Apparently, I'm the only one and the first on this planet to have this problem. And it's scary.6 -
Can anyfuck tell me what the fuck I'm supposed to do?
So I installed gitlab, reachable under a subdomain (gitlab.example.com) behind apache2. everything works fine.
Now I see this bullshit in my logs, appearing EVERY GODFORSAKEN SECOND: https://gist.github.com/nitwhiz/...
I disabled the bundled nginx in the gitlab.rb and no, it's not "some nginx system service", I verified it is coming from gitlab and oh - btw - some weird svc logfuck runs even after gitlab is stopped! :)
No I won't try your random google result because I read all 3 tickets being at least half relevant to my situation as ANYFUCKER ON THIS PLANET seems to use the internal nginx.
FML.16 -
Basic imposter syndrome and fear of getting called out on something and losing my job.
Or in my current situation where I have a terrible bastard of a manager, fear of not getting my resume updated and start calling people about jobs.
If I got fired right now, I honestly wouldn't care that much. This world is going to shit. -
Unstableness of core technology stack. The more developers are there, the more complicated architecture they create that often doesn’t give any significant value besides what if something goes wrong ?
What if you make mistake ?
What if power goes down ?
I feel I am last optimistic thinking software developer on this planet.
I feel that those tools just try to give some sort of power to the management over developer free mind.
Creatures like multicloud, cloud, k8s I feel that it’s just beginning not the end of road. And this beginning is a wrong turn.
It’s just another vendor lock in.
But I might be wrong.3 -
I am not as open minded and patient and a good teammate as I thought I was. Also either I am the biggest asshole on the planet, or I am so unlucky that I meet all kinds of assholes in my workplace, both past and present.
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Android Crash is Fucking Bullshit Ever on this Earth Planet.
I really Hate these Number of Versions and Bullshit Incompatibility between each one.
It is Just a Shit Developed on Java.
The Crash Really Fucks the eyes of Developer.
And Fucking Bullshit Errors are not Even visible, Sometimes the shit goes so worst that it does'nt even give the Line Number where error Exists.
Worst OS Developed for Mobile on This Planet.
Anyone getting into these development i suggest IONIC is Best to start instead of Coding Native Bullshit Android.
If anyone knows how to see the realtime errors besides Logcat and Firebase Error please let me know.
11 -
Looking for some names I can use for servers/devices. Currently I am using planet names from Star Wars. The names of those planets in the outer rim I use for rootservers/devices which are not physically located in my home. Any other ideas/topics?4
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We all have an underlying project; to either sustain this planet or leave it. Hopefully the foundation we leave behind will allow one of those to become reality when it becomes truly pressing.
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npm has to be the single worst package manager on the planet... Trusting devs to use semantic versioning properly and forcing devs to trust authors of dependencies to use it properly is nothing short of insane. The package-lock that is "supposed to be version controlled" causes *constant* merge conflicts. Using shrinkwrap in its place is borderline useless because it Doesn't. Lock. High. Level. Dependencies.
I don't know who designed this, but I want to give them a very bad day for every hour I've spent trying to lock versions correctly on a live project.
Not to mention requiring root by default to install things that can just run whatever they want is ludicrous.2 -
Ah, but if an AI were to steal every technical job on the planet, there would be a humongous spike in developer jobs that would support the AI for one job, so it would increase the demand for developers.
Mind = blown1 -
Unlimited time is impossible... But I don't wanna ramble.
The one thing that I absolutely miss in my kind of work is something that does exist in dozens of flavors and each existence promises to solve some thing...
It's "bug tracker" / "time management" / "ticket management" / "board" / "kanban" or what ever pervert method you prefer software.
I haven't seen a decent one.
I'd think I'd want to build one - it would be definitely an all time consuming effort, since I would be in dire need of specialists.
The thing with nearly all of the solutions is that they lack ... an associative mindset.
Simply put, what we humans can.
The longer a project exists, the more it's housekeeping (guess that's a better word for it) turns into maintenance nightmare.
I remember quite well the joy of puzzling together eg Jira / Bugzilla / ... complex search formulars trying to find the needle in a planet of hay.
If you're read so far and have had similar experiences, think about how nice it would be if you had a mixture of AI and BI doing exactly that.
BI / Business Intelligence to get meaningful statistics is possible, but without AI it's a lot of work.
The AI would need to do several things...
- Match information (eg version XY was released at XY, so each bugreport after XY belongs to version XY and higher if no version matched)
- Tag and categorize (crashed / faulted / fried / ... - tag crash)
- "do the mundane work": ask nicely if the marching / tagging and so on was right, ask for missing info, require feedback etc.
There's a lot I could write more about that topic. But that's the gist. ;) -
I got my second system76 machine this week. The, "meerkat" is a rebranded 10th gen Intel NUC, and I got it to replace the ancient corporate refurb I have at a friend's house in Kansas City, on Google Fiber, which I'm running as a plex server. The existing machine was already five years old when I got it used in 2016, and it's lasted far longer than anyone expected, including its manufacturer. I replaced its media storage with an onsite NAS last year, and now it's time for the computer itself to get the Marie Kondo treatment.
I am loving the Meerkat! I have been configuring it here in Denver this week while I have some time off, and when it's all set the way I want I'll get it shipped off to KC. I just tested out plex on it, playing Planet Earth II while the media scanner was running. Didn't even blink. I can't wait to get this thing in place!
Buy more System76!3 -
Forbes study https://lnkd.in/f4GDPnf shows that there has been a drastic reduction in pollution levels in China during the lockdown period due to Coronavirus outbreak.
I think it can be a pretty good idea to lockdown the world periodically to heal the planet. Here's a petition for the same. If you support the cause, please sign and share at http://chng.it/pxVMSKrmv610 -
!dev
So as usual I received some call from telemarketer and I started from other perspective this time.
I asked how I can be sure that the person on the other side is telling the truth.
That pissed the telemarketer that started challenging me by reading my company data but I calmly responded that it doesn’t proof anything cause I don’t know anything about you - the person who are calling me.
I know who I am but how I can trust who you are ? You just provided me your name that I don’t know it’s true cause I have no methods to verify that.
That pissed telemarketer so much.
Some time ago before you put money in bank you know the banker. If someone was stealing this money you probably know from your police who is it and where he’s probably hiding.
The future we’re trying to go right now with this machine stuff that makes job for us is completely different.
We’re more and more separated from reality that is our planet dying. More and more animals and plants are dying, nobody cares about it.
Despite me working a lot with new tech I am more and more sceptic of how technology is shaping us. We sooner or later wont be able to shit without computer ( lots of us is probably already there bringing cellphones as companions for good nice shit rolling ).
Is it the future we want ?
The future where you need to beat computer to have contact with nice people. Cause I see it everywhere now. The technology is stupid and not perfect so lots of us is forced to align to this crap right now. Use the technology and beat the algorithms to connect with human. That’s the future we want ? Really ?
Some idiotic algorithms that are trying to tell us that this is what you need to watch ? This is what you need to eat ?
This is where you need to be ?
Take our time and turn it to view count slash likes and subscribes shit hole ?
The technology power show that everyone wants to buy but you won’t even use 10% of it’s capabilities cause it’s blocked by company that sells it ?
I’m more and more disappointed by this world.
Anyway Telemarketer didn’t want to admit that is alien robot who is trying to kill humans by selling me this machine so I hanged up cause I had nothing more interesting to say.
I think they will finally stop calling me.2 -
*think MarkDown* =>
.
## digital bohemian
I am a different kind of person
I think in color, and breathe in static
My people are **electric**
.
We come from the planet
... after Pluto, and love machines beautiful
We have _souls_ prone to changes
When we push and pull our hearts
.
We are of the race, digital && bohemian
I am a coder, my lovers are alien
.
CTRL+C : that is all4 -
Never disturb a programmer in heat !
.
.
.
.
.
[RIP to all the lives lost in Uri and NYC.
this planet has no place for terrorism.]
1 -
Does travis was slow for you guys as well today? It felt like the planet was building at the same time.
-
I got a planet!
Chat isn’t working, I don’t know why yet.
It was working on the comet I spun up, but not on ~linrun-harmes.
3 -
Let's be honest - given the state of the world today, the more I listen to Megadeth, the more I relate to what Dave Mustaine has been pissed off about for a few decades now. Oh, you don't know who Dave Mustain is? He was, like, the 5th guy in Metallica. Rather, he was the bass player until he got fucked over because he was a dick and thrown off the first album Metallica did. Don't worry - he did OK. He formed Megadeth and still had quite a successful musical career. Why am I ranting about him? Simple - A lot of his lyrics are darker than Metallica's. I honestly don't know what the fuck I'm doing with my software/personal/professional life right now. I've got ideas & dreams, but all this COVID shit is just draining the fuck out of me. Sometimes I feel like I've failed - most of the lifeforms on this planet manage to procreate. Well, that didn't happen for me. On the down side, I didn't get to be a father. On the up side, I didn't punish the life of a child with my own brands of mistakes, ignorance, and stupidity. My life is littered with male failures. My biological father (paranoid, schizophrenic ) died at 58, doing everyone around him a favor. My grandfather on my mother's side died of colon cancer at 69 (so-called reformed alcoholic, manic depressive on lithium with great abusive tendencies). My step father who adopted me? Sure - he loved me. He just never understood me. "Computers are just a tool". Fuck you, 'dad'. Go play with your horses and tell me what I'm doing isn't meaningful. Where was I? Oh yes, almost killing myself last summer. I think between COVID and my own colossal screw ups & paranoia I went over the entire fucking edge. I pulled myself out of it with the help of medication, counseling, and learning to just let shit blow up because "it's not my problem". I'm still angry. Perhaps that's the only thing that keeps me going from time to time. I'll leave you with a quote from Ghandi - No, not that idealistic, limited one, Mahatma Ghandi. From his grandson, who managed to really pick up what he was putting down - Arun Ghandi:
“Use your anger for good. Anger to people is like gas to the automobile - it fuels you to move forward and get to a better place. Without it, we would not be motivated to rise to a challenge. It is an energy that compels us to define what is just and unjust.” -
So apparently Sony has the big gay.
https://youtu.be/y2weNM4JtME
(from official PS2 HDD documentation)
2 -
Finally a bachelor first class honours(irish title)
Why is this a rant?
Because i passed on my second attempt on my development project because i was a lazy piece of shit.
I guess i learned out of it.1 -
Setup an Urbit planet
Got it working and it’s beautiful
Started doing development
Broke my planet because I’m me
Now I’m sad as I try to figure out how to fix it and not doing development -
A visit to the planet earth.
Alien I: Hey look, look at these things. They work like sloths and sleep like koalas. Wonder how they have survived this long.
Alien II: It's a pity. I told High Commander this is totally a waste of time and resources.
Human: Well, we do have programmers too.
Alien I: WTF!
Alien II: Now, that planet is worth colonizing. Let's get to work then 👽1 -
Customers CEO insists we need to start the 3 weeks to deliver crunch website project by having the hottest UX design on the planet done by a professional UX specialist specializing in hotness who might charge a lot and take a few weeks and leave us no time to deliver said hotness. Grrrr.
I felt like Sirus Black as a dog bouncing of the chest of the werewolf.
When I explained in full why it's a great idea to have a great UX concept, the project is an education website, for the government, and it's WCAG AA. Balanced against all the reasons that we had more urgent things to look at with such a short timeframe they insisted "The UX Guy" will save us. Dear fascist bully boy. I am a UX guy! I may not be "The UX Guy" but I remember when Javascript was for popups and the extent of most peoples PHP was sending forms via anonymous SMTP. I bet the design will look something like the CNN website or Apple.com. Both bastions of web accessibility standards. Grrrrrr. -
A note to the team designing recommendations on google ads:
Just because I search for deep learning concepts for personal learning, does not mean I will be purchasing every paid online data science course on the planet.5 -
I have a dream that one day companies will understand that most people who pirate music/movies/games etc. do it because they don't have enough money or because they can't get them any other way. They don't lose money, as those people are not able to buy their products anyway, instead, they gain supporters and possible future clients. Piracy is one of the reasons Windows is the king OS(prove me wrong...) and also the reason Game of Thrones is the most popular show on the planet. Instead of hunting torrent site founders maybe they could, I don't know, build great and cheap services. Spotify is such a service, no reason to pirate music anymore, but everything else still lies in the middle ages...8
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Task: can you copy this sharepoint reactjs webpart to some other site.
Me: ok
Piece if shit webpart won't event build and my vs code is blood red from errors.
The project got gangbanged by 4 more people before being passed down and no one knows wtf is going on.
Fuck sharepoint, most shity ass piece of crap on the planet 🌏1 -
Today I got my login credentials for our Task Delivery Tool (called WMS TI)...
It is by far the most ugliest and user unfriendly program on the planet!! It looks like you made an macro for Excel 2000. It's bloated with features only 0.1% of the company needs them! (Biggest telecommunication provider Germany's) and it's lame! Even worse: we still use Windows 7 32bit.... Why the fuck is a company which develops smart home, self driving cars and cyber defense systems such an oldie!1 -
I have to stay awake for a long ass meeting in a timezone on the other side of the planet. Most of which I'll spend staring at a meeting window doing nothing. I got pizza. How should I spend the night?3
-
The problem of AGI is that we’re trying to create computer that will outsmart people instead of creating computer that would outsmart biggest idiot on the planet.4
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!dev
so I had a thought about the fermi paradoxon and evil super-AIs/robots.
If we consider, that we are not alone and that a super-AI tends to cleanse the planet from harming species (like homo sapiens), the super-AI would start to check (e.g. by sending self-sustaining clones of the AI to habitable solar systems), whether other planets must be cleansed aswell. And at some point, it would come into conclusion that the earth needs a basic cleaning.
This has not happened yet. Some of the possible reasons are (aside from the fermi paradoxon):
- the super-AI is not evil and therefore doesnt eradicate civilizations
- the AIs (former) owners were not carbonite based and the AI doesnt recognize us.
- there are no intelligent spezies in the milky way (yes, that includes us ;))
- The AIs surveillance 'drones' are still on the way to us
Are there other reasons? Did I oversee something? Is this even interesting enough for you to read to this point?
Feel free to rant on me ;^) -
Assuming that the spirit of the question means that you are required to actually build something instead of sitting around doing nothing as a requirement for your impossible superpower, I would, in order:
1. Develop hundreds of shitty mobile games and flood the Android market, making millions of dollars.
2. Use this to fund competitors to every major tech company in the world, making billions of dollars.
3. Dump a very large portion of this money into a research group for a complete anti-aging treatement.
4. Sell this only to the top bidders. Make more billions.
5. Use the money to colonize another planet, perhaps in another solar system entirely. Create a transport line that provides free doses of aforementioned treatement. Bring only scientists and their families. Create a utopia from scratch.
6. Develop machines to automate all aspects of life. Live in utopia with no need for money. Allow everyone to persue passions with unlimited time and nearly unlimited resources.1 -
When is the next space shuttle leaving for mars or moon? Have got to relocate out of this world. Pls who got SpaceX booking phone number. Or elon musk addy?.😔😔 you ask why? I need a geek gf and i can't find one on planet earth..😳😳😳1
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Huh jokes on you AI! We would have destroyed the planet with a nuclear war before you even become that mature.1
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!rant - Thanks to whoever it was who reminded me of the DevRant Spotify Playlist. I had some epic tuneage to start work with this morning. I'm loving some Black Stone Cherry (I don't have to wait for them to come on Planet Rock). (Also, Grammarly recognised the word 'Tuneage'.6
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I personallbery don't like OP superpowers like perfect coding or time-bending. They have to be either not OP or über OP. So here's an idea. Having control over things you understand. Depending on how much you know you're either just a normie or the most powerful being on the planet. And you still experience the joy of learning new things. AND you're getting more powerful because of it.
You can be exactly the dev you want to be.1 -
Hi guys! Last time you gave me a lot of good advice about my gophers. Thanks! Kubernetes Contributor Celebration is coming soon so I have these cute gophers
If you liked it and want to support me on Redbubble
https://redbubble.com/people/...
or TeePublic https://teepublic.com/user/...
Thanks!
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