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My job is so f**king unbelievable.
I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless.
The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on make-up.
She is extremely self-centred and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself.
She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet.
Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10.
I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts.
I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead.
In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work.
He probably hasn't been sober any time in the last ten years, and he's only 22.
He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big f**king dog to work.
Every f**king day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke.
Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing.
Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single f**king day.
Anyway, I drive these dicks around in my van and we solve mysteries and s**t.49 -
Dear Apple.
Charging $99 for a one-year developer account is bullshit.
Best regards,
Me and every other tech-student on this planet.34 -
A good rule of thumb when developing applications with a good user experience is to assume that your user is the dumbest person that is walking this planet right now, and make it so that one individual can figure out how to use your application.
Good luck..
26 -
My school computers are *the most secure machines* on the planet as per the network admins at school.
A simple Unix command like sudo -i allows you to break in the system with "root" as password.
Pretty secure, right?3 -
My main working laptop has delete button at the top right corner of keyboard just like the normal rest of keyboards on this planet. But some people think it is boring to be doing thing in consistent manner. And so they made this.
Result is 4 times involuntarily went into sleep mode. Gazillion times I swear I can tear the dick out of that genius who came up with this idea and swirl his brain around using said dick. If it was a girl, I'm gonna shove a durain up her vajayjay.
Oh BTW, both laptops brand is ASUS.
19 -
Which retard on this planet decided to put a "continue reading" button on every dumbshit news and article website. You built your fucking website to read! That was the entire purpose of your website!!9
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Watching the Dutch government trying to get through the public procurement process for a "corona app" is equal parts hilarious and terrifying.
7 large IT firms screaming that they're going to make the perfect app.
Presentations with happy guitar strumming advertisement videos about how everyone will feel healthy, picnicking on green sunny meadows with laughing families, if only their app is installed on every citizen's phone.
Luckily, also plenty of security and privacy experts completely body-bagging these firms.
"It will connect people to fight this disease together" -- "BUT HOW" -- "The magic of Bluetooth. And maybe... machine learning. Oh! And blockchain!" -- "BUT HOW" -- "Shut up give us money, we promise, our app is going to cure the planet"
You got salesmen, promising their app will be ready in 2 weeks, although they can't even show any screenshots yet.
You got politicians mispronouncing technical terminology, trying hard to look as informed as possible.
You got TV presenters polling population support for "The App" by interviewing the most digitally oblivious people.
One of the app development firms (using some blockchain-based crap) promised transparency about their source code for auditing.... so they committed their source, including a backup file from one of their other apps, containing 200 emails/passwords to Github.
It's kind of entertaining... in the same way as a surgery documentary about the removal of glass shards from a sexually adventurous guy's butthole.
Imma keep watching out of morbid fascination.... from a very safe distance, far away from the blood and shit that's splattering against the walls.
And my phone -- keep your filthy infected bytes away from my sweet baby.
I'll stick with social distancing, regular hand washing, working from home and limited supermarket trips, thank you very much.26 -
Apparently my university uses COMIC SANS in an official email.....
#fml
Time to leave the planet....
7 -
Tried Asphalt 9 today.
You can’t actually steer. It’s a racing game. You can’t steer. Game steers for you.
I’m leaving this planet.14 -
What an antiquated idea it is for us to all have to go to the same room/sets of rooms to do our job? Yeah sure let's just get each other sick and distract each other ALL FUCKING DAY so that we're more efficient in an office. Bullshit.
Next up, 9-5. We're goal driven, not time-driven, and driven by deadlines. Nothing about our job can we only do between 9am and 5pm. I'm more creative at 1am, anyway! These are systems people created when they wrote with FUCKING FEATHERS. Grow up, Planet Earth.
Not to mention that once you have kids you need to cater your timings around them. Up at 7, leave at half past, maybe seeing your son for a minute, if he's woken up. In work 9-5, even when the next piece of work isn't specced out yet, twiddling your thumbs. And even when it is you can't get it done because people bore you to death with stories about how they're going to a party on the weekend. And it's hard to code when you're dead from boring stories. Shove your stories up your arse.
Then you leave at 5, home at 6, put the little one to bed at 7 and sit there from 7-11 thinking if I'd worked these hours I could have spent all afternoon with my son.
It's such lunacy.
Just give me tasks that estimate to about 40 hours work, and I'll do it in a week. Hell I'll even spend a day in the office and we'll call it 45 hours. I'll work the first almost two entire days straight and spend 3 days with my son. You get the same value as an employer. I can maybe actually work on a project at home, or do a hobby, or, you know, SEE MY KID.
Fuck you, Offices. And fuck you, 9-5 fallacy.
Inspired by:
https://www.devrant.io/rants/4524833 -
Not code related, but.....
When you open a pron site and see this
Guess I should save the planet instead of jerking off
10 -
Modern software has gotten so bad that it even gets sluggish at times on late 2018 flagship devices. Slow, cheap hardware like is usually developers' and fanboys' excuse, particularly when it comes to Windows stuff? Like hell it is.
Software "engineering" has become so.. terribly inefficient. I'd dare any developer worth their salt to rewrite their program to make it work on an early 2000's machine. After all, those can run pretty advanced GUI's, have a reasonable amount of hardware (just think about how large a gigabyte of RAM really is) yet should be able to make for a reasonable limitation set.
Hardware limitations are the mother of optimization. Not every person on the planet has a 32-core Xeon workstation with 64GB of DDR4 RAM and a GTX Titan in it. Whether your application performs reasonably well on your machine shouldn't be the metric. Try deploying it on that laptop you tucked into a shelf years ago and reevaluate.. please.
And definitely you Slack!! Slacking off, is that what inspired the name of that pile of junk?! 😡26 -
Our lecturer writes "extends Object" behind every class in Java. I don t want to live on this planet anymore3
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I fucking hate toxic positivity. Every fucking corporation pushes the notion that "lifE iS aWeSomE, wE cArE abOuT pEoPle" and other such bullshit, and when you point it out, they call you a bad, toxic person.
No, you don't care about your community, let alone the whole world. You're just trying to make people believe that spyware, wage slavery and being fired by a neural network is the norm. You're making money off of those who don't have a choice.
If you account all people, not just American white rich 1%, it turns out that for the vast majority of people life is either an uphill battle or straight up nightmare. People are working in shifts and have no time or emotional resource to spend on themselves. Most of the people can't afford a house or a flat. Even those who can still suffer from mental illnesses, to the point where there are more mentally challenged people than mentally healthy ones. The word "neurotypical" meaning "mentally healthy" is wrong.
You want nothing but to sell your stuff and earn more money off of Chinese and Indian factory workers who work 16-hour shifts. Maybe your life is great, but aggressively pushing this notion is a big, wet spit in the face of humanity.
Fuck you. Fuck your space rockets. Fuck your twitter accounts. Fuck your institutionalized exploitation of the weak. Fuck your products. Fuck your "open source". Fuck your "GDPR compliance". Fuck your offshores, your hedge funds and your tax evasion. Fuck your bailouts. Fuck your ships spilling tons of crude oil, fuck your factories, fuck your slave labor, fuck your anti-suicide nets in Chinese dormitories.
One day, because of you, our planet will become unlivable. You will hop into your fancy space rocket to go to that top-1% elite Mars colony. Nice job.
But I will pray for a solar flare to hit you and turn you and your fucking rocket into radioactive ash.
20 -
Paypal Rant #2
Paypal might just be the only company with 98% of their employees being support staff because not a soul on this planet knows how to work with that fucking piece of shit of a company's service.
No really, if there was a shittiness-rating from 1-10 (10 = worst) you would have to store paypal's rating as a string or invent a new data type because no CPU could fucking work with such a big ass fucking number.
If I had to choose between Paypal and going back to manually trading physical goods/animals for stuff I would gladly choose the latter, because Paypal, go suck a bag of dicks you useless fucking shitpile of a "company".8 -
Google sucks!
No, not as e-mail or for privacy reasons. Sure, that too, but it comes with "free" stuff.
It sucks because it's breaking every possible record in the worst, shittiest, most insanely stupid APIs and integrations out there on the entire fucking planet!
It is comically stupid!
Aside from their LOVE of hard-deprecating APIs every few months, requiring constant, time consuming maintenance of every tool that integrates deeply with Google services, some of their APIs, for expensive stuff, look like they've been written by Bobby McFartface from 7th grade.
Take a look at DoubleClick Search (their ad performance reporting tool, that sure does sound like one). To upload custom, additional data, you must pass in a ton of parameter, and they REQUIRE some of them to have a specific, hardcoded value. What's the point in passing that parameter then you dickheads?!
But fine, so you uploaded some stuff using the API. Now you want to delete everything and try again after you fixed a bug - well you fucking CAN'T! You can't delete stuff, you can only mark them as "deleted" using an update call.
Bulk operations? Fuck no!
Can I just add on top? Well of course not! That will raise a ton of exceptions. Same message should be transmitted using the PUT, not POST request, in order to edit.
Can I send everything to PUT? Of course not! You can't edit something that's not there, dummy!
Can I see what's there so that I can update it, and add what's missing?
Well of course not! Why on Earth would you need to see what information is in there after you uploaded it? Who needs that anyway?
Simply send, pray, and hope that everything will be fine (it will not).
Like holy fucking crap, it can't get any more stupid!
Google is a huge pile of idiots who feed on only a single cow - the search engine.
It's times like these when I think that Google right now is the worst thing that exists for everyone in tech. It's dragging everyone down with their monopolies everywhere and complete idiocy in managing them.5 -
The head of the software department of a company I did an internship at once said:
'the stereotype that programmers sit in a dark room all day with empty pizza boxes on their desks is wrong. They are very social and communicate a lot'
Me: yeah, for sure ...4 -
When the code is not working:
I have failed my parents, my job and everyone. I shouldn't have taken Software Engineering as my profession. All I'm doing is giving pain and frustration to everyone. *thinks about a clean way of suicide*
Then after a while the code works:
I am probably the best engineer to live on these planet.3 -
Worst interview is the one that actually got me where I am today.
Its been 15 years ago, but I remember very well. Since it was a startup back then they didn't really have any job titles yet or what so ever. I applied for the role of network engineer, heck I didn't care I needed a paycheck.
5 minutes into the interview the smalltalk left the room and they started asking me questions, mainly about me as a person. Eventually it was my turn. After my first question I facepalmed so hard.. Do you guys have any SLA or documentation around here? Heard of ITIL? How is your load balancing?
They stared at me as if I was some kind of alien that had just invaded their little safe planet.. it was hilarious.
An hour later they called me to come back in and sign a contract.. from there on I kind of multi tasked my way around the first year.. bit of network support & design, customer support, sending and packaging orders after 5PM.. god we had long but awesome days.. hence, we were just the 5 of us. Nowadays we've got 150 developers out of 1019 total staff currently.. We also improved interview questions and processes ;)7 -
May be when the first human is born on Mars, we'll have to add "Planet of Birth" to our passports.😂11
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Stupid shitheads among the web designers, fucking listen up. Your fucking design is not the point of websites - the content is. You are not supposed to shove the content away to have your moron design shine in its purest debility.
Yeah I know, white space minimalism yadda yadda, clean interface - and you dumbasses just remove functionality to simulate a clean interface, to the point of using hamburger fuckups on desktop. Pull your heads out of your asses, that's not how to design an interface! Not to mention that you idiots still guzzle through the megabytes and dozens of domain lookups for your chickenshit minimalism.
While we're at it, not everyone is 20 years old like you youngsters - you won't believe it, but there is life beyond 40, and while such age is unthinkable to you because you are so dumb that you will hardly reach that age anyway, others on this planet have managed to get there. No 20/20 laser sight, you know.
Fuck you with your light grey thin fonts on white background because it looks "clean", it just SUCKS you wankers. Fuck you with your stupid ghost buttons that don't even look like a button. You know how to operate the shit you made, but reality check here, users spend most of their time on fucking other websites than on the abomination you have designed!
Get that into the shit bubble that you call your brain and read WCAG 2.1! That's not only for disabled people, but everyone will be able to use that shit better!8 -
There is no planet in this multiverse where chrome should be using more ram than an ENTIRE VIRTUAL MACHINE. WHILE ITS COMPILING OPENCV!!! Seriously!?!?
9 -
These anti AI type news articles are ridiculous. We are decades away from anything like skynet. People have seen too much fiction. Everyone used to dream of flying cars, did that happen? No. Do not be fooled, machines can do clever things but they are no where near becoming sentient beings. You try and build something that has the same IQ of a dog and it will still require a shit ton of power and hardware. Plus as far as I'm aware dogs haven't taken over the planet with their level of intelligence.
At the end of the day machines need power to run and we control the source. If anything futuramas more realistic in how AI/robots will integrate with society than these shit piece newspapers.33 -
ARE YOU KIDDING ME.
I've got a client that is complaining a long sentence is on multiple lines on a mobile device.
You literally cannot make this stuff up. They are literally saying, "move this specific word up to the line above."8 -
- Finish all my projects
- Find a job that pays 9 figures
- Cure Cancer
- Refrain from drinking 20 red bulls/per minute
- Own a planet9 -
Office manager sending a mail that all spaces now only have "sustainable vegan leather" furniture, "to carry responsibility for the planet and commit to a greener company image".
You mean you bought uncomfortable plastic chairs.
Vegan leather is just fucking plastic.
Not all plastics are bad, but in this case it's a very toxic plastic, a PVC softened with phtalates and stabilized with cadmium stearate, produced cheaply in a country with no regards for public health or the environment.
It's about as sustainable as munching down a vegan quinoa avocado salad in a private jet on a transatlantic flight.
There are moments where I'm glad that I'm still working from home, because I would have planted that ugly fucking desk chair straight into the equally ridiculous power-slurping hipster "sustainable vertical herb garden" with its 500 watt growlight bulbs.15 -
WEB FUCKING THREE
Ok, some of this shit is interesting, let's get that out of the way:
Crypto - great for doing illegal things, great for financial speculation, interesting mathematically. But as likely to replace actual currency as I am to replace the fucking Queen.
NFT - should be written on the headstone of humanity. Entirely fucking useless, planet-roasting bro-wank dressed up as a revolution in...pretending to own shit. The only difference between a Bored Ape owner and my nephew pointing at a castle and insisting that it's his, is that he isn't thousands and thousands of pounds out of pocket by doing so.
Metaverse - AR and VR have been around before this dogshit rebrand, and they'll outlive it.
No, it's not that. It's that we now have a new species of parasite - the "Web3/Metaverse" LinkedIn guru insisting that this shit is even needed, let alone the next big thing.
Web 2.0 was a stupid fucking term alright, but it did represent a new generation of technologies that were badly needed, and adopted by the entire community. Web3 is a bunch of shit that some cunts think they can get rich off, so insist that we need. I wouldn't even give a fuck but I've already spent hours of my life explaining to clients and peers that this is UTTER FUCKING BOLLOCKS, there's no need for a blockchain in your app, there's no need for a blockchain in virtually anything. Yeah if you want some fucking 3d in your app or your page I'm your man, but if you keep saying 'metaverse' I'm going to fill it with easter eggs.
None of this shit was needed before and none of it is needed after. Have you looked at web3 games? It's Steve Buscemi asking 'how do you do, fellow computer games?', it's a fucking gambling app pretending to be something a human would do. Clash of Clans and Candy Crush already cornered the market for that type of fucking mug, right now you're making the Candy Crush business model look responsible and efficient. You CUNTS.47 -
I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE WHO ALWAYS BUY NEW STUFF WHEN THEIR OLD THINGS WORK PERFECTLY FINE!
FFS PEOPLE ARE JUST FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT NOWADAYS! I MEAN, FIRST THEYRE LIKE, oh we need to save the planet bla bla.... THEN THEIR LIKE!
OMFG! NEW IPHONE X WOLOLO MUST HAVE! OMG MY OLD PHONE IS WORKING PERFECTLY FINE BUT ITS THE NEW IPHONE OMG!
I MEAN! COME FUCKING ON! WHAT IDIOTS! IF ITS WORKING, KEEP IT!
#NoHomo12 -
Fuck that bitch of a mother of mine. After what she's done to me, I would totally just fucking electrocute her (lawyers, this is a rage post not a real one, I've learnt from that previous psychiatrist that these rages can be taken improperly!) or just send a fucking EMP to her fucking "schermpkes" (EN: screens, displays, whatever! Technology!) or whatever. FUCK THAT FUCKING WHORE!!!
Yes she gave birth to me. Should I be thankful for that, in this world where for some fucking reason Flat Earthers still exist, Despastico and those goddamn fucking Paul brothers became a thing? FUCK NO!! I wish I wasn't born in the first place! Or rather, a thought that's been playing for a long time in my head. Why the fuck can't I just cryo myself and be reborn in the next millennium?! No, that's not possible because as it is now, humanity will likely have fucked up the planet by then. Majority of the people are still no more than self-jerking fucking monkeys. With their Instagram geotagging shit all over the place, nametests and shit like that. FUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!! Why are people like this?!!!! Why can't people be a tad more intelligent, why can't people actually learn about what this reality is all about?! Why is the burden of all this on scientists, no those who spoonfeed information into the mouths of the masses, like fucking Hashem Al-Ghaili (which is an amazing person but he's doing too much spoonfeeding IMO). WHY?!!! WHY AM I BORN IN THIS FUCKING DYSTOPIA?!!!!
WHY AM I BORN IN THIS FUCKING WORLD WHERE PEOPLE ARE INDOCTRINATED INTO "NOTHING TO HIDE, NOTHING TO FEAR"?!!!!! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!!!!!!!! You've got a fucking brain, USE IT!!!!
I fucking hate this world. Someone hire a hitman on the darkweb to kill me and that fucking whore that gave birth to me, NOW!!!40 -
Best part of being a Dev us that we are basically wizards.
Now stay with me on this. At our command is the ability to think a solution to a problem and only using our minds and some gestures we can create entire worlds (games) .
We can create software and devices that can literally allow people to walk again.
We can connect people who are not even on the same planet as us (Sace Station) and have full conversations with them.
I don't know, there are limits to what we can do but give us some time and we can keep pushing them further and further.7 -
Gave my two weeks, two weeks ago. Today was my last day. The designer finally asked to see how I go about doing my job, and was blown away at how "hard" it is. Smug satisfaction +1.
I leave the office at 5, go home, get packed, and start driving to my new city/state. An hour into the trip, my phone rings. My boss, on vacation out of the country acts surprised that I'm not going to be there Monday. I personally gave her my resignation. Exactly two weeks ago. "Are you going to be at the meeting Monday? We still have some stuff up in the air."
WHAT FUCKING PLANET DID I JUST LEAVE?17 -
Slowly working it up now, actually.
An annually updated, unbiased, multiple source application that engineers can use to check salary offers vs their skills, to make sure they don't get shortchanged. Intended to work for the entire planet (that we have data for).17 -
The Steam Community forums for the Planet Zoo beta have really reinforced my decision to stay far away from game development.
A third of the posts are people who clearly have no idea what a beta is - "don't buy, too buggy". Sorry, were you expecting a finished game? You wasted your money, then.
Another third of the posts are people making decisions for the developers. A very common discussion is "Should they delay launch?" which makes my blood boil a bit. First of all, you have no fucking clue what kind of manpower this development team has. You don't manage them, and neither do I. So, neither you nor I should be making assumptions about how fast they can fix the issues, and definitely shouldn't make decisions about if the game should delay launch.
Second of all, neither you nor I know how the game is built. These fixes could mean a line of code, or they could mean a re-write of multiple core systems. We don't know, and I'm guessing you've probably never even written a line of code in your life so you REALLY shouldn't be telling these guys how to do their job.
The last third is benign discussion - people reporting bugs (even though there's an issue tracker, but that thing is fucking jam packed with 250 pages of reported issues), asking how to do xyz, posting feature requests, etc.
But if roughly 60% of the community is behaving poorly and actively working against development by pissing off the devs and drowning out constructive discussion, then yeah; I won't be going near game dev any time soon. Sure, developing business software means dealing with REALLY dumb people but at the very least they are in a business environment and not in a toxic forum of bullshit.
Oh, and as a closing remark, I love this game!13 -
This one gave me an idea for a kind of a desktop app launcher that lets you place the applications for procrastination in such a way that they are behind the planet during the day so you are a lot less likely to see the shortcut and want to use them; and likewise for the applications, one uses for work to be hidden during the evening/night cuz no one wants to see that after work.
Not really a particularly strong idea and I'd probably not support it myself if someone else brought it to me but hey, just an opportunity to try coding something different and learn more stuff.
7 -
Why do so many people waste their time and their computers turning coal into heat? It really pisses me off.
Often I meet smart guys who are fairly decent coders and after what starts as an interesting conversation is instantly destroyed by cryptocurrency.
It is *exactly* like enjoying a discussion of the intriguing nuances of quantum chemistry only to have the guy say, "thats all cool, but how do you make meth?"
argh.
You want to use your decked out rig to make money? Fine. But please help us solve important problems instead of literally wasting electricity. Just google search "supercomputer physics" and you will find a thousand current problems requiring extremely fast computers for number crunching. All of them can make you more money than crypto and all of them help society at the same time.
We burn coal to make most of the electricity on this planet. Most coal stations burn around 20,000 tons of coal per day. The world burns about 250 tons of coal every *second*. This is converted into carbon dioxide. (coal = carbon, add two oxygens when you burn it, producing three times as much mass in CO2, which then goes out the smoke stack)
The big picture is this: currently we are forced to burn coal to make the world work. Turning off the boilers would result in an almost instant apocalyptic collapse of society. BUT, we don't need to burn it merely to produce waste heat in your video card array.
Please use your superpowers for good.
<end rant>16 -
When the stupidest people on the planet move in next to you and burn nearly everything you own to the ground...and don't even have the courtesy to wake you up before getting out of the building themselves.
10 -
I've been a programmer a few years now and i still haven't had to magically fly through a virtual city by typing furiously at my keyboard
4 -
OH MY GOD DID I JUST HEAR A .ai DOMAIN ON THE RADIO?!
this can’t be happening.
It’s such a buzzword that someone spent the millions required to get the tld ALREADY.
sudo save planet —from stupidity10 -
Saw some cheapie little radio in the dollar store, bought 2 of them for reverse engineering. Powered it from my lab bench power supply as usual, and tested whether it actually works before doing anything else.. then I noticed that the tunes were actually quite catchy, so I just ended up listening.
Then I started to notice that the audio wire I was using (the one I've spent a couple of days building earlier) had intermittent audio issues where the right driver would drop out when the wire was held in certain positions. Oscilloscope probing showed that there was some sort of disconnect, with only the 50Hz noise from the power lines showing up. Opened up the connector and noticed that the ground wire had detached. An 28AWG electrical wire that was inside a jack that was meant for stress relief! Yet the copper strands must've detached one by one regardless. What do I need then, huh?! 18AWG which wouldn't even fit on the connector, only to see the strands in that eventually detach as well?! You know what, let's go fancy.. 1AWG which is meant for extremely high current applications!!
At that point I was literally shouting "FUCK!!! Why does this shit always happen to me?!! ONE FUCKING PROJECT THAT FINISHED SUCCESSFULLY, YET STILL BROKE?!!!! WHY!!!!!!"
Clearly I need some fresh air to cool down. On my way to the fast food restaurant to get some Bicky burgers. More shit, humans. One stupid driver who slowed down on me, which of all things I hate the most. GO FASTER ALREADY YOU SLOWFUCK, AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!!! Next a pedestrian with a dog.. I swear motherfucker, if that dog comes anywhere near me I'll personally turn it into fucking fricassee.
Ah and then comes the killer.. in this stupid fucking summer, all that's needed to fix any issue is a fucking stupid DESPACITO, right?! More like DeSPASTICo!! FUCK!!!!
.. Back home, rather tired. So essentially a wire that was specifically built to have high endurance broke on me. Back to Bluetooth I guess.2 -
Adobe will end-of-life Flash by 2020, and all big Browsers are joining this by disabling Flash features slowly
Let's make a petition to end-of-life Electron, it is basically Flash for Desktops and it is A RESOURCE-HUNGRY LAZINESS-PROMOTING PIECE OF SHIT THAT SHOULD IMMEDIATELY BE REMOVED FROM THIS VERY PLAnet.. what do you think about that particular idea?
#StopElectron2017smhOkayAtLeastBy2020Please22 -
Elon Musk is building on new, rocket like transportation technology to travel to any part of the planet in half hour. Also should cost same as aircrafts today.
This is man modern day "Thinker"19 -
Soo much fun working for a cunt as a boss:
B: We getting soo close now, the plane is coming in to land.
Me: Yes, but the engine is busy falling off
B: Well, if we miss the deadline, its only us to blame.
NO YOU INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE CUNT, ITS YOU, ONLY YOU, 100% ENTIRELY YOU YOU SHIT FACED DUCK DICK.
Context:
We are on version 8 of our deadline, which was initially March, our next and final extension ends next Friday, we are this fucked ebcause all he fucking does is make bad descisions and pointless changes, we been telling hims once October to stop making changes if we ever want ot make the deadline.
Directly after he vommited that poes out of his mount he goes on to detail the massive change to the data structure that only needs to be changed as he refused ot listen to the developer when they told him not to do it that way 3 months ago.
How is it even possible that someone this moronic and incompitent can actualyl exist on planet earth. He is not even a flat earther.1 -
I block ads because they're psychological warfare that corporations wage against me. I don't care how unobtrusive the ads are. I don't care if the ads don't track me. I grew up changing the channel on TV when ads came on, and ripping adverts out of magazines before sitting down to read them. I vote for billboard bans whenever I can. I have zero tolerance for ads of any sort.
Advertisers have no morals, they're completely depraved. They'll eagerly exploit a teenager's self-conscious body issues to sell useless beauty products. They sell sugar water to fat people and at every turn promote the rampant consumerist culture that is destroying our planet. They're lower than pond scum and I never want to see a single ad from them ever.
— mcpackieh6 -
Why I quit playing video games 15 years ago, and how that impacted my life.
In a land far far away (probably from where you are) on a distant planet (probably for aliens reading this) In a typical city, in a typical apartment, I woke up from a deep deep sleep, the kind of sleep that you can only have if you've been up the previous 2 days binge playing final fantasy 7.
It was a day like any other, except, on this day, I had a haunting thought:
"What if I played my LIFE, like I did video games"?
Long story short. I couldn't play video games anymore. Instead of "working" I saw it as gaing exp points. Instead of "failing" I saw it as necessary to build up character flaws.... etc.
I haven't looked back. I created 3 businesses, I learned psychology, marketing, programming, law, etc etc.
I look at my current status, strength points, charisma points, intelligence points, etc.
And I'm proud.
You get the idea.
Later, I realized something else. If I work all day in front of a computer, how can I play in front of a computer too?
This could be a better post, but you get the gist.
Know the role video games plays in your life, and don't let it play YOU.26 -
Finally program running perfectly 👍
But wait.... Lets add another feature...
New feature needs updated matplotlib...
Update matplotlib😒
Lost support with numpy😫🤔
Updated numpy 😫
Run program again...
Core dumped (segmentation fault)😶😶
Time to leave this planet10 -
do you have a GREAT eye for design?!
can you write a bubble sort algorithm in binary?!
do you know native, desktop, embedded, AND web programming languages?!
do you know you can go fuck yourselves?!
good luck unicorn searching 🤡 companies. there is no human that can do all of those on a level that you want. but, go ahead and set yourself up for failure. i'll remain firmly grounded on planet earth 🌎5 -
me: “Realistically, the only way to pull in this data without replicating and without an API feed is to scrape it from the site”
manager -> to the client: “basically he’s got to hack your system to do it”2 -
I like complainers... So... Someone who works 9-6 (and is often late by half hour and leaves at 6 sharp also takes extended lunch break) complained to my manager that I'm late for work , which I am , no denying , but , I take no lunch break and I work until 7:30-8 . Why on planet earth would you even care to make a complaint about someone whose manager you don't even know ? What the fuck kind of a person even does that ?! No one in my office has any kind of direct interaction with me , no idea of the work I do yet someone found it fitting to complain . Anyway , manager didn't even listen to the guy so I'm good...just pissed at haters .6
-
!student
Principles of Programming Languages teacher:
No one in industry uses git.
The same guy who refused to take semester project submissions as github links.
Also "Python is never pass by reference/id()"5 -
IT is currently putting on a giant presentation at the corporate offices telling them that our development team builds all of our apps using MS PowerApps and that all of our internal development is done using no code tools…what fucking planet did they visit to come to that conclusion??6
-
What?... really?... You read my code? ...*wipes away tears*
THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!!! You sir/madam/undefined are a true gentleman and scholar! (even if you are just a troll picking random shit apart to flash around your superior knowledge of design patterns).
Any time I receive a code review, that is bearing that is an actual review, born of free will and not a mandatory report - I feel flattered beyond words.
> Think its shit? - GREAT FINALLY FEEDBACK!
> Have an idea? - I'm all ears.
> Trying to sound smart? - You still read/used my shit.
> Want to understand my approach? - Grab a drink and get comfy son.
In a world where I am usually the only person in the world that knows WHAT MY ACTUAL WORK IS and there being only a select few people on the planet able to understand it, I am always grateful for developer feedback.
Seriously... out of your own volition you used my code, read it, made an effort to understand my thinking and THEN REACHED OUT TO ME with ideas!!??
I could kiss you... you beautiful binary saint.3 -
Not necessarily on here, but Devs tend to bitch about designers and their lack of basic dev skills/understanding (talking about webdev). But when devs try to design it usually ends with a horrendous piece of visual garbage. Respect each others profession and the outcomes will be better. That's why Apple is now one of the most envied companies on the planet.8
-
Today,I found this gem:
static function getConfig(){
$cacheKey = 'foobar';
try {
$config = $this->repository->getConfig();
$this->cache->set($cacheKey, $config);
}
catch(Exception $e){
try{
$config = $this->repository->getConfig();
$this->cache->set($cacheKey, $config);
}
catch(Exception $e){}
}
}
I don't want to live on this planet anymore...!7 -
Had to download eclipse ide for a project
Latest release is called neon
Guess they ran out of cool planet names
😀3 -
Client: I want a new feature for my chat bot. It should be able to rap.
Me: ... k
*monologue: wait u w0t m8*
Also me: Can you please go more into the details? It should be able to rap. Ok. But how do you want it to look like? How "strong" should be the discrimination level, for instance?
Client: It should beat ass, yo.
Inner me -> core me: Let us just ignore him. We won't be able to do it, since he isn't really explaining his needs. "It should be able to rap". We are not wizards.
Core me -> inner me: Chill. We will just use some insult apis, combine it with cleverb0t api et voila.
Me: Alright. I got an idea for it. I can do it within this week. And if you don't like it, I will ofc do some changes to it.
Client: Hmmm... that's nice and good. But within 1 week?
Inner me: I can't do magic and pull that feature out of my fucking ass!
Clients... clients... clients...
0. Don't expect us to be done in a few days. We are also humans. And not fucking machines.
1. Do us (all devs on planet earth. -Microaggression in 3, 2, 1..) a favor and (kill yourself) learn how to request a feature.2 -
What the fuck??!?!?
I wanna say :-
Fuck!!! What the fuck a sex robot is?!?? Fuck???
Lets leave this planet here humans are thinking to make a sex robot(fuck! ) who can say no fuck?!?!?! Later they will file rape case for humans who tried to force their robot. FUCKING FUCK BRAINS?!?!?
Full answer: -
A lot of ethicists and psychologists think that yes, they should learn to say no. Here is an interesting article about it:
Should We Program Sex Robots to Give Consent?
I agree with Kate Darling, Ph.D., a research specialist and robot-human interaction expert at MIT Media Lab, told Inverse in a discussion about Westworld, when she says she isn’t concerned about the robots, but with human behavior.
However, when I’ve expressed these feelings on Quora, about this controversy I was downvoted and my answer collapsed because people got offended that I made the claim that an object (the robot) could be ‘raped,’ even after I clarified exactly what I meant by that- that no you cannot rape an object, but just as an object cannot consent, you may be enacting ‘rape’ or torture fantasies, etc., on the robot. I think I was downvoted because my point of view wasn’t exactly what they wanted to hear, was too blunt, and the people who downvote opinions that may look more negatively at the sex robot industry typically aren’t feminists in the slight.
It seems a lot of people want the right to use sex robots and also that a lot of people haven’t really thought about it too deeply. Some people say that the robots will relieve women from sex work or protect people from sexual assault, I think these are very bold claims. Some people compare the sex robots to vibrators or other masturbation tools, but this is simply not accurate because sex robots are designed to be much more. They are marketed as companions that do not cry, nag, etc. People that own them often may dress them, tie them up, have marriage ceremonies, etc., a lot more activities than they would if it was a simple masturbation tool.
5 -
Wtf bs is this? Can't governments just stop trying to control the internet?
It's literally the closest thing we have to a free and fair society on the planet and that's with all the tracking and abuse of information going on. I think we need to start applying our minds to creating a decentralised network with p2p discovery routed through our phones if we want to keep any semblance of freedom of speech or privacy around for our kids. Routing traffic wouldnt use more than 50-100mb of ram and would probably use a lot less battery than Google does listening to our conversations or transmiting our location data so we wouldn't even notice. If only we could find a cable free decentalized way to get data across the ocean no one would be able to control it again, I doubt we would be able to shut it down either.
9 -
NASA’s Mars 2020 rover is heading to the red planet and they are giving a chance to send your names with it, yet another time. → https://mars.nasa.gov/participate/...
13 -
I don't get it. Bethesda managed to make the best temporal antialiasing solution to ever grace this planet with TSSAA in Doom 2016 and then manage to fuck it up by removing it in favor of forced TAA in Doom Eternal which looks like complete dogshit
WHYYYYYYYY
The graphics were /literally/ the reason I bought the damn game. I just finished Doom 2016 and it was so inspirational for my own game engine, giving me motivation by seen what I can achieve. Doom Eternal is fucking depressing from a technical standpoint
Well at least I know now that my own AA solution is viable and that I can do better than a AAA studio :emotionless-shrug-guy:8 -
God damnit!
i recently inspected the c# sourcecode of a webservice, our webservice develop references to.
As i discovered a particular function in it, my face went instantly pale.
This golden-hammer function consists of ~2000 lines of code.
In the first line there is "try {".
On the last lines is "catch (Exception e) { throw new SomethingWentWrongException ("special function"); }"
At least, he "tried" xD
I don't want to develop on that planet anymore...7 -
this === 'rant'
> True
A million dollars for the head that creates a lethal virus that forcefully uninstalls IE and installs Firefox/Chrome and unleashes it upon planet Earth. Sorry if this sounds too harsh but guess what? FUCK IE.13 -
Sweet baby Jesus the stories are true. I thought this day would never come but yesterday I found a website in production straight out of a horror story.
Inline script tags that contained spaghetti code and static content. And to top it off inline style with position absolute for everything 😰😰
Also worth mentioning a couple of broken pages(404) and a beatufill repeat-y image for the background😳
I lost all hope😂16 -
My supervisor's flaky attitude is annoying the shit out of me.
Mate, why would you agree to hire me for the project I wanted to do (and get me to move halfway across the planet) and then tell another colleague that I'm focusing too much on my project and they should give me their extra work?
Like, I get it but I don't get it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯6 -
Damn simulation.
Some juniors grabbed keyboard and reprogrammed main species to stay at home and fear of death while I was busy working with other features.
Moreover someone made additional changes from infected computer and guess what....
Unfortunately it’s real time system with increasing entropy and we can’t revert changes so fixing damn shit would take from one to two decades.
We don’t have backups cause last time we used them we also killed dinosaurs.
It would be just easier to erase everything and start from beginning cause our statistics charts are fucked up - again but motherfucker boss don’t want to do it.
He’d rather teleport again to adjust the world. Damn fucker thinks he’s god but in fact he’s just prick with rich parents.
I’ve decided to piss him off by adjusting planet thermostat so we can start over.
2 years more and changes would be irreversible.
Damn job.6 -
Aaaaaaaand I'm back! I'm sure nobody cares but here you go enjoy this picture of the best cup on the planet.
6 -
New business opportunity. Hire the worst, cheapest devs on the planet and get them to build a HR system.
Judging by past popular HR systems, it'd become a best seller instantly.1 -
Every time I search something on Stack Overflow, I get excited when it's word for word the issue I'm having. Giddy with excitement, I click the question and scroll down.
Every damn time "Question was closed due to being off-topic".
Even when it's totally on topic!
Anyone get this or do I have the worst luck on the planet?6 -
Bill Gates: I will always choose a lazy person to do a difficult job. Because he will find a easy way to do it.
Me: Hello, is this Microsoft. I'm the laziest person you can find on planet earth. Hire me.
2 -
Fuck JavaScript, seriously I have spent the last 8 hours trying to build a fucking basic search application that would take me < 1 hour in any other fucking programming language on the planet. I AM FUCKING DONE WITH THIS SHIT. I'd rather pay some dude with a long ass fucking beard who calls himself a "Frontend Engineer" WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS. Because my backend oriented brain cannot fucking handle all of the frameworks, and modules, and different versions of the same fucking language. Plus its like JavaScript was designed so that you can't not write spaghetti code. FUCK THIS. I'm going back to writing static fucking template code that is used by a fucking backend language that only changes every few fucking years, not every month.
Have a great day. :)4 -
I didn't become a developer to be legacy's bitch. But we're all legacy's bitch.
I want to roam free. I want to piss in the rain and sing at strlen. I don't want to be in corporate meetings anymore.
I don't want to contort my ideas and good intentions to fit legacy's ugly painting.
I want to be free.
Please let coding be fun again.
I process more tickets than a brothel car park ticket machine8 -
Last day at home today. Moving tommorrow for my apprenticeship with a company that'd likely give me a warning/fire me if I say too much about it.
If I disappear off the face of the planet, it's because I have no money for internet yet.
13 -
Employer uses IBM Software, which forces me to use Eclipse. I hate eclipse. Hate is a hard word. I'd never say, I really 'hate' a person. But eclipse, eclipse is what I hate. I can look at my smartwatch and see my heartrate rising, just thinking of how the fuck any developer on this crappy planet would ship that bullshit IDE. That saying, I'm totally fine with some bugs, using windows and so on, but eclipse... Is this a get-more-contributors strategy? Holy moly it really kills me. Hey, let's just open that maven Proj.. Oh, crash. Hey, let's install that "bug-free" version of the maven-integratio... Oh, crash. Let's do a global search over my worksp.. Oh, freezed. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! How can this be legal? I mean, seriously, most junoir devs I know, just use Eclipse, because they don't know of any other "better" IDE (VIM would be better, even notepad). Is there anyone sucking professors cocks / vaginas to get them introduce that crap IDE to students?2
-
Living in student accomondation :
Me doing whatever on my Laptop (coding, YouTube ...) minding my own business enjoying silence or music or whatever...
EVERY FUCKING TIME I GET TO GET COMFY, MY STUPID FUCKING ROOMMATE DECIDES TO COME IN, LAUGH LIKE A DUMB FUCKING IDIOT AND EITHER STAYS FOR X MINUTES WATCHING OVER MY SHOULDER AND IS EITHER CRITICIZING MY CODING OR STARTS WATCHING THE VIDEO SITTING NEXT TO ME LAUGHING LIKE A DUMB FUCK.
He does that at least 3 times a day, while he should be studying himself(He almost failed all of His CS classes and does not even know how to create a fucking constructor in Java).
MOTHERFUCKER, GO AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.
MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS
Had to get that off my Christ :)
PS : told him multiple Times to fuck off. If i go and sit somewhere else (like library or somewhere) dumbfuck just follows me.
FUCK HIS LAUGH, SOMEBODY CUT HIS TOE OFF PLEASE.
Cant even change Apartment as accomondation ist completely full :)3 -
Someone at Steam is having a bad day.
And I am having one too because I can't play planet zoo without Steam :(
5 -
*Dont you want to become a professional python dev?“ Take this course on udemy.
DONT YOU WANT TO SHUT UP AND SHOW ME AT LEAST ADS THAT ARENT PISSING ME OFF THAT MUCH? I learn where else because these tutorials are the biggest bs on the planet.3 -
Everybody is criticizing Microsoft for leaving too much legacy code in Windows, etc., but let me tell you that I prefer 100% that and have lifetime backward compatibility than having to deal with Google bullshit.
Google sucks ass.
It's one of the most dev unfriendly company on this planet (along with Facebook).
You can't fucking change BASIC stuff in Android SDK every fucking version.
You just can't!
You can't use a system of "PERMISSIONS" each developer has to set in its application and each user has to accept during the installation, that a few versions later become USELESS... because "Hmmm… no, It's not enough, let's make a new privileged permission that makes the old one fucking worthless".
YOU FUCKING, TOXIC, BASTARDS.
It's my app, my code, my device, my fucking conditions. If I want to install viruses on my device, I should be able to do it.
I shouldn't have to call fucking Sundar fucking Pichai fucking CEO of fucking GOOGLE.
USERS != BABIES.
DEVS != CRIMINALS
We are the reason you have a fucking job, fucking food on your fucking table.
I want a fucking GOD_MODE permission in the next SDK, assholes!
You can't REMOVE fucking "Android.OS.getSerial()" making it only for system apps.
It's not sensible data… and if It's in your opinion, you've already created a "android.permission.READ_PHONE_STATE", so what else do you want, fucking asshole?
Right, you want to introduce "android.permission.READ_PRIVILIGED_PHONE_STATE" to make obsolete the other one, son of a bitch!
I don't fucking use you're garbage Google Play Store, no worries! I won't upload my app on your servers, bitch!
They've created a monopoly in the industrial space (PDAs) and they keep making fucking wrong decisions every single year.
My job is already stressful, why you can't just stop making it worse? fml7 -
No need to think small when you have eternity to work with. Right now I am building a network operating system, something I've started around 2 years ago. I expect to have an installable and more or less usable system in maybe a few more years.
When I would have an eternity to work with, I'd first look to make our planet redundant. It's insane to imagine that we only have this blue marble to work with, while we have a fireball of hell as a neighbor in our cosmic neighborhood. What even happened there? I'd like to find out. Granted Musk is already figuring out Mars, and he has the money for it while I don't. I don't like the man all that much (too much marketing wank) but hey, at least he's got us covered there.
Maybe one day we could live forever. Maybe we could map and upload our minds. Maybe we could replace our entire body with synthetic components when the frail meat-based components inevitably fail. Perhaps it could even happen in our lifetime, at the pace technology is progressing at. If and when that happens, sign me up!2 -
fuck time zones and time changes, why the fuck we don’t have one time on the planet and one date that is just day.
No month, no years - all the complexity would be gone, day wouldn’t have 24 hours but it would be something more precise, there won’t be a second
time that earth goes around sun is
365,25964 days
31558432896 milliseconds
we should start count time differently so it’s not relative in space time continuum, what should be relative is the mass35 -
This planet is lame. Apparently there is a company called “Microsoft” that is not micro by any means, and it even sells hardware. Unacceptable.4
-
Management: ReactNative is great because it is faster!
Me: What else do we get from it?
Management: Facebook made it so it is good!
Me: 😑3 -
Yes, I have to admit, sometimes Linux is a F*KING B*TCH.
I was supposed to fucking format a pc for a close friend of mine, cause he produces music and win 10 fucked his machine up with its broken updates.
Knowing the guy is a talent I promised that by 7PM the pc would be fixed.
Not really, I'm feeling the stupidest guy in this fucking earth, cause I've been here for 2 hours, fucking trying to extract an ISO image, and nothing on this fucking planet seems to work.
Tried the graphical archives, none open de ISO, tried 7z, it gives me an error, tried fuseiso, which is recommended in Arch Linux' documentations. Doesn't work. Tried mount - o my file.iso /mnt and it says /mnt isn't in the fstab file which makes me even angrier cause I always mount everything there without editing shit. So I installed 7-zip for windows in wine, it extracts until 90% and freezes. Now I'm trying hsuebrirbwkwpxjhw9shrbejejwke and my mouth is foaming and my ear is bleeding my brains out and I don't need you shit.
Fuck you, Fuck your goddamn ISO and Fuck this faggot ass spell checker, that changes Fuck to duck and assign to asset.
Fuck it, I ain't gonna format anyones pm anymore.
18 -
Windows is THE STUPIDEST FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT OS ON THE PLANET! All I wanted to do was hook up an HP Spectre laptop running Win11 to a Vizio 60 inch TV. Every time I try to do this it's a crapshoot as to whether it will work. Sometimes, it comes right up as a duplicated display. Not tonight! It flashes for a second and shows the duplicated display, and then it disconnects. EVERY tutorial says use Win + P to select the display mode and it just doesn't fucking work. I've even gone as far as editing the registry to try to make Windows forget old settings. This is BASIC functionality at the end of 2023 and Microsoft FUCKS IT UP! THIS is why I use Linux/MacOS. Because those work every time.21
-
I appreciate if someone explains this to me:
Designers ask that we put three images in a grid layout on an Android device so that they can compare which image looks better, and guess what is changed in theses three images: font size changes one point in each image.
My question is: Is this normal? Designers need to see it on a screenshot to be able to decide which fits better?9 -
Freelancing is modern slavery...
Al this greedy fuckers searching for the cheapest tool for their super urgent project.
Even if you write you consider the payment on the expenditure you fucking snail will still debate on it cause you consider your time more valuable. You consider my life isn't worth your money. You want a service but don't want to pay for it.
This get all for fucking free mentality is what ruins this planet.9 -
In 1896, Percival Lowell saw straight channels on Venus. He was excited, because he'll gonna get reach — at that time, the award was in place for anyone who finds intelligent life on any other planet but Earth and Mars.
Why Mars? Because astronomers were seeing straight channels there too.
But bright Venus made this clear once and for all.
The patterns astronomers were seeing...
...were their own eyes.
1 -
I fucking hate design agencies and everything related to fucking design!
Today we received an email from design agency asking us to put two images next to each other so that they can compare and see which one fucking fit better!
What is the difference between these two images:
first one has 28points of text size while the other one has 26 points ...
one more reason to hate this fucked up world!4 -
When I was a kid I loved Microsoft because they built that thingy that I could play my computer games on. I learned how to reinstall the magical but fragile Windows out of necessity, instantly promoting me to the position of the family's computer whizz-kid.
Now I just see them as one of many shady international mega corporations who on behalf of their shareholders best interest (oh the irony) are fighting to gain power so that they one day may own the planet and basically rule over everything (yess, stocks reach all time high!) -
Programmer: "Places : instead of ;"
Javascript: "What the fuck did you just fucking post about me, you absolute beginner? I'll have you know I worked for ten of the biggest silicon-valley industry companies, and I've been involved in over two hundred top secret projects including NodeJS. I am trained in refactoring the most fucked up code, and I'm the top C++er in the entire fucking internet-connected universe. You are nothing to me, but just another IP. I will fucking revoke your commits from your gitlab account with absolute dedication using only one Rasperry Pi client. Mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with posting that shit on one of my numerous very personal blogs? Your devices are fucking bricked, kid. My attack software can be anywhere, anytime, and it is tasked to remove your entire git contributions from planet earth. Not only am I extensively trained in remote cross-firewall device-hacking, but I have access to over 100 of the United States CIA and NSA git repositories. If only you could have known what doom-bringing C-one-liner you have raised from my fucking hands, maybe you would have held your fingers. But you could not. You did not. And now you're paying the price, noob. I will hail havoc upon your puny online-presence and you will drown in your own badly designed software. You're fucking offline, kiddo."11 -
There is this docker guy in our enterprise.
Always, he is told there is a challenge in software operations, he brings up the solution "move it into a docker container and the challenge won‘t be a challenge anymore".
........
Don‘t get me wrong.
I love to use docker as a technology to host my apps.
But for me it is not the golden hammer technology which cures all dread diseases on this planet.
Sometimes it is just overhead for the solution of small challenges.2 -
FUCCCCKCKCKKC FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKING CUNTFUCK BULLSHTI FUCKK!
I SWEAR TO GOD LINKING LIBRARIES IN C++ IS THE WORST FUCKIGN THING ON THE ENTIRE FUCKIGN PLANET.
sfjipomndgsm8h rteügj8jq9rtg11 -
As many here might be aware, the new RTX series dropped! With this, a lot more performances… and a lot more power consumption
At this rate you'll soon need a dedicated grid to power this shit. This is pissing me off, as we're not living in times of energetic abundance. Prices of fuel skyrocket due to the situation in Eastern Europe, and we need more than ever to find alternative energy sources that don't mess our planet further up. So the last thing we need is some piece of computer hardware that chugs near as much as a fucking vacuum cleaner
There's a petition treating of that with more details, if you agree this is a problem, it would be awesome if you could sign it and share it everywhere you can
https://chng.it/hGkcvHpdY87 -
So today Mozilla updated Firefox just to include an incomplete downloads tab? Dafuq are they thinking 😒2
-
I check whatsapp, facebook and devRant in that sequence because 0 notifications, 0 notifications ,2 ++s.
Am I being ignored or something by the lesser intellects of this planet? And thanks devRant for all the attention.7 -
Hey guys! lambda is amazing! Docker containers! They said the whole amazing point with containers is that they run the same everywhere! Except not really, because lambda 'containers' are an abomination of *nix standards with arbitrary rules that really don't make sense! That's ok though, you can push your shit to fargate, then it will work more like those docker containers you know and love and can run locally! Oh wait! fargate is a pain in the ass x 2 just to setup! You want to expose your REST api running on a container to the world? well ha, you'd better be ready to spend literally 2 weeks to configure every fucking piece of technology that every existed just to do that!!!! it's great, AWS, i love it, i'm so fucking big brained smart!!!
give me a break.... back in my day you'd set up an nginx instance, put your REST / websocket / graphQL service whatever behind it, and call it a day!!!!!!!
even with tools like pulumi or terraform this is a pain in the ass and a half, i mean what are we really doing here folks
way too complicated, the whole AWS infrastructure is setup for companies who need such a level of granularity because they have 1 billion users daily... too bad there are like 5 companies on the planet who need this level of complexity!!!!!!!
oh, and if your ego is bashed because of this post, maybe reread it and realize you're the 🤡
i'm unhappy because i was lied to. docker containers are docker containers, until they aren't. *nix standards are *nix standards, until they aren't
bed time.12 -
People who take 2 places on a busy busride deserve to moved to the toilet.
Rude, selfless scum, go sleep with the shit of other people instead of making my life harder. I've been traveling for 16 hours. There's still 8 hours left and I would like to sleep, recharge my phone and that next to my traveling companion... But you egoistic creatures just have to be a fucking waste of space. To me you are almost the lowest trash of society.
I should simply sit down on your worthless gadgets.
I should simply smash your feet with my luggage.
I should simply remove you from the history of this planet
EAT FUCKING SHIT AND DIE
Edit: can't even do math anymore. I have 10 hours of travel left4 -
Some caffeine fueled morning passion...
Social media platforms getting away with suspensions and all other manner of 'social punishment' has to be the highest level authoritarianism has ever reached in its entire history. Social Media platforms, have it seems, become a side gig for tyrants and the excuses don't cut it with people anymore.
It's hard to believe that "we the people" allow companies to govern over entire populations of people, much larger than some of the most democratic and free countries on the planet with an iron fist.
The enforcement of community standards for breaking arbitrary rules that wouldn't make it to a solicitors desk is extraordinary in the extreme. If it's not a credible threat or illegal, then it's obvious an intention behind the punishment is conditioning.
And this is what authoritarian regimes have done throughout history.12 -
My dream project -
An App that will reduce human impressions from this country without bloodshed.
Seriously ... People are everywhere, here. It is surety that you will get to see some or many people, no matter where you are. Park, Jungle, Mountain, River bed, Abandoned Land, Osama's bunker, House with annabelle ghost, Cloud, Space, Other planet .... damn
That way I am only helping mankind and nature. And then I will get nominated for Nobel Prize too.3 -
daily reminder (most of you don't need it i know) that reddit is full of the most ignorant and dumb people on the planet
thought i could hop into comments on a /r/worldnews post for interesting discussion and discourse, no, its just idiotic neckbeards trying to one up eachother on painfully cringe doomer phrases and / or who can get the most upvotes from their godawful dumbass pun
what a fuckin cesspool
and they wonder why the world is going to shit4 -
Every time my news feed says "Giant meteor potentially can hit the Earth in 2025 blah blah blah....."
I think to myself - Please, end it all already. Wipe the planet away.1 -
What got you into programming?
For me, it were the games. I was and still am amazed by how games work, from one side of the planet to the other side, how good the visual effects are...2 -
!rant + !story
I hate every human on the planet that says WFH is just people pretending to work or are slackers looking for an easy way out.
Now the story bit.
In 2021, I joined a company (I really wish I could name-drop the company), where the micromanagement was OFF THE CHARTS.
The company got a client who pitched a product they wanted built and gave us a super reasonable 3 months to complete it. I was really happy about the timeline and kept working under keystroke monitoring, which I didn't really mind at the time.
3 days into the development, the client informed us that they are pulling the funding i.e. they don't have money to pay us.
So at that point the client gave us two choices:
1. Stop the development right away and get paid for the time that we put in already.
2. Finish the project under 9 days. We would still get paid for the 12 days total, mind you. Not the original budget set.
So the motherfucking boss chose the second option and then the chaos ensued.
Devs screaming at each other on calls/slack. The boss yelled at us all the time about the completion. It was wild.
I had to wake up at 7:30 AM and start coding and log off at 11 PM for literally the next 9 days including Saturday and Sunday. No holidays allowed for the timeline. This was all at a WFH job.
So fuck anyone that says WFH is easy and just for slackers.6 -
#Apple #FaceID
Yet another step towards the God's eye in Fast & Furious. Since it requires a 360 scan of a face, CIA just requires a photo to find anyone in the planet who's using an iPhone X [Stands for Expensive]. There's a reason why Apple ditched the fingerprint sensor.
RIP #Privacy 😶
5 -
UI bug is found to only occur in Firefox.
Director sends mass email telling dev & qa to only test using IE11. -
Fucking Power Apps and Automate/Flow:
You want to make an app?, great!
- Easy UI and editor, you can make a decent app in a day
- Best data integration in MS space bar none, connect to anything under the planet no problem.
- Deployment on mobile and desktop instantly and at scale, you better believe it.
- Wanna take from sharepoint, manipulate the data and throw it at XRM, we gothcu.
- Source control? FUCK YOU FOR ASKING GO DIE IN A FIRE.
- Proper permission system, Yep, based on O365 and azure AD
- Just let me get the source code please?: BURN IN HELL MOTHERFUCKER
- Integrated AI, indeed we have it. And chatbot frameworks on top of it, no problem at all
- ...
As a tool it is aimed at non technical people, not by making it beginner friendly, but by making it developer hostile. And whenever you hit a wierd quirk in the editor you wish you could just go edit the source code (WHICH YOU CAN TOTALLY SEE SNIPPETS OF), but you are never allowed to touch it.
I am so very tempted to make a version control layer on top of it myself, scraping it via scripts and doing the reverse on upload, but it will be janky as fuck.1 -
Just went an entire day at work without a computer.
I know we usually rant about meaningless meetings and waste of time conversations but they are great for avoiding work while seeming very busy and productive.1 -
I fucking hate Google, but made the decision to use it as my primary search engine once again.
Reality dictates that I have already adopted it for well over a decade via searches since AllTheWeb existed along with owning enough Android devices to choke a twelve headed dragon whore.
But, here's the main reason: You.com and DuckDuckGo are so dumb as fuck, they might as well be Ron Jeremy's MySpace page.
You.com, for instance, is "completely customizable" by adding un-customizable "apps" without any control over the content it spews into your SERPS.
Neither seems to have interest in no longer padding results with shit you'd take a knife to. At least Google allows me to block those pages or sites from being seen again.
If you happen to live on Planet Earth (which currently seems to exclude 86.8% of the human population) you've been tracked before you even knew what "Big Brother" meant.
If you're looking to safeguard your security, buy a goddamn sword and time travel to remove the Zuckerberg timeline from existence.22 -
!dev
This is a weird Christmas. Got sick recently, so won't be drinking. Covid, so won't be going out. Fam is halfway across planet, so won't be really spending time with them. Won't be having heavy food either.
Overall, this is an extended weekend for me.
🍵5 -
This is embarrassing, but the first days of learning about AngularJS I had to implement functionality about a new component of the WebApp I was building.
I did a good templating, I build the component along with its controller and services, I verified there wasn’t any memory leak and that everything was in an isolated scope. Yet nothing at all appeared on the app. It took me more than 30 minutes until I realized...
I didn’t put the source code on the index.html file 😅
For people who know more about compiled languages such as C or Java... that’s like not putting your source code file in the makefile. 😅
I felt literally like the dumbest person in the planet at that moment. 😀🔫1 -
If software developers / engineers and various other technical people stop serving banks and governments and become free minded we’re be having our own clothes and food served to us whenever we want and where we want by now.
Fucking capitalism and stupid dickheads.
I think being able to be served by robots in your own house to provide you everything you need is first step for long spaceship trips that can take over galaxies.
Living on this planet is boring as fuck.2 -
i was about to talk about golang - but it can wait.
snapchat's discover section is TERRIBLE. the amount of BULLSHIT, INCORRECT INFORMATION, AND PURE IDIOCY IS MAKING IT TERRIBLE.
now, usually, i rant about mashable when i say it's terrible. AT LEAST WHEN MASHABLE WROTE ABOUT THIS THEY WERE CORRECT. but no, alas, my faith in humanity is put to an all time end. a new evil has arose, by the name of "wired."
of course, and incredibly late to the party, a "tech" outlet wrote about bitcoin. the headline was "is bitcoin killing the planet?" IT HAS BEEN POSSIBLY THE STUPIDEST ARTICLE IVE READ OF ALL TIME. THEY CLEARLY HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT ANY SHIT THEYRE TALKING ABOUT.
let's take a look at the TWO facts they got wrong, and displayed to over a MILLION people.
now, instead of just GOOGLING TWO SIMPLE FACTS, THEY DECIDED TO JUST WRITE RANDOM SHIT.
ENOUGH WAITING - HERE THE THE TWO FACTS THEY GOT WRONG
picture 1: bitcoin up $900 in the last year? THE LAST MOTHER FUCKING, COCK SUCKING
.
.
.
YEAR?!?
WHY DO SUCH DUMBASSES HAVE ACCESS TO SOMETHING MILLIONS VIEW?
IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE
picture two: the actual fuck????
did i just read that?
b- bi- bitcoin will "run dry" BY 2032.
i think i finally figured it out.
these facts, they're literally just random number.
<thoughtBubble>
i can see it now:
wired employee 1: hey, guess what number im thinking of?
wired employee 2: 14?
wired employee 1: *screaming* BITCOIN WILL RUN DRY IN 14 YEARS
</thoughtBubble>
how do these people get hired. do they hire only hire 12 year old interns? im genuinely asking. does anyone know?
okay, end of rant. plz continue complaining about dumbasses who have power thru the media in tech8 -
(I am attending Uni)
I have reached a point in my life where exams are the least source of stress possible on this planet.
Someone help me with these deadlines please!3 -
O Friends, It Is Great To Be Writing To You Again. Let Me Share With You A Most Amazing A Tale! I Have Spent Some Time Now In CapitalizedCamelCaseLand. It Is A Glorious Land, Where All Written Word, Language, and Culture Is Governed By The Almighty CapitalizedCamelCase. The People Are Productive And Extremely WellTyped (A Phrase They Charish And Use To Mean General WellBeing).
The Honorable Citizens Of CapitalizedCamelCaseLand Have But Few Fears... And I Shrink To Speak Of Them Or Even Write Them Here, As It Is A Heinous Crime To Even Mention Or Write These Words... But I Must Report, As It Is My Duty... So, Their Fears: The Horrible And Most Repellant lowerCamelCaseJavaScriptianDevils, Or Even Worse, The Grisly And Ghastly snake_case_fiends_of_pythonia!!! O My Friends How It Fears Me To Even Form Such Foreign And Strange Characters And Symbols That Remind The Citizens Of CapitalizedCamelCaseLand Only Of Pain And Suffering!
Many Wars Have Been Fought Upon The Lands Of Both JavaScriptia and Pythonia (The Cultural And Correct Way To Refer To These Harsh Lands In Respectable Company), But To No Avail Or Final Stop To The Fighting. While CapitalizedCamelCaseLand Is Currently In A State Of General Peace And Prosperity, There Is Surely A FlareUp Of Conflict To Occur Against The JavaScriptianDevils Or The PythonianSnakeFiends!
For In DevWorldia (The Name Of This Strange Planet I Report From), There Has Rarely Been A Time Of Peace Lasting For More Than About 5 Minutes, Which The Citizens Of CapitalizedCamelCase Assure Me Is Already A Massive Length Of Time And Achievement To Be Cherished.
Alas, I Beleive In The Coming Days I Must Travel To The FarAway Lands Of JavaScriptia And Pythonia. I Can Only Hope That I Am Also Treated With Kindness And Respect In Those Lands By Attempting To Emulate Their Ways, Just As I Have Here In CaptializedCamelCaseLand. I Hope To Write To You Soon And Wish You Well.
Signed And Sincerely,
Language Traveler FullStackChris7 -
Colleague: The user said this [Total line] is not the average she expected.
Me: Okay? But she knows that averages are weighted?
Colleague: I'm gonna call her.
... 30 minutes fast forward
Colleague: Okay she wants an average, but she wants us to divide it by something else.
Me: Okay? But she knows an average is the sum of one thing divided by the sum of another thing and not just anything?
Colleague: Yeah, she said she wants it to be kinda this in relation to that.
Me: Okay, so rather some percentage value?
Colleague: To be honest, she just wanted to reproduce this old Excel formula.
God has left this planet ... and I admire my colleague for not completely freaking out in the face of the user.3 -
Hmmmm. Just looked at my security log for my outlook account. A bunch of unsuccessful sync attempts... from China, from South Africa, from Colombia, from Poland, from Vietnam, and from Brazil. All of them IMAP attempts. Good to know my password isn't compromised, but I think I'm going to reset it and double it's length, just to be sure.2
-
I love cats more than dogs.
Despite being domesticated, cats remain true predators with true predator skills and the pedigree that comes with them. The evidence is your local government mandating house cats should wear bell collars to warn birds, as they threaten their extinction otherwise.
Modern dogs are mere scavengers that live off people and eat trash. They evolved to be cute by tilting their heads. Dogs aren't useless, mind you, I just like cats more.
But both dogs and cats are dwarfed by YE MIGHTY FROGGE. Frogs are the most fascinating and magnificent creatures to ever roam this troubled planet, maybe rivaled only by orcas. Frogs are the best. They're also the cutest, especially when touching a small yellow one can kill an elephant.11 -
Access undefined as undefined....
Apple devs need a break. Xcode devs need to be sent to another planet -_-
4 -
Why in the fuck can't you transfer a domain name for 60 fucking days? This makes no sense. My dumbass purchased a domain from Google Domains and registered it with Google Sites. Now I just realized that Google Sites is useless as fuck. It's more useless than a plastic bag of dicks. The dust on my window seal serve more purpose on this planet than Google Sites. That's how useless Google Sites is. Now I want to switch to Square Space or host it myself but have to wait 60 fucking days.
I could just buy a new domain for 12 bucks but I had the perfect name. Fuck ICANN for their stupid idiotic pointless motherfucking policy. Fuck.1 -
Best
typescript - I needed to learn it for a project and I like it, I know java and javascript and it is something in between of those two that makes writing enterprise web applications easier, it’s nice that you can debug it directly in chrome, it makes things easier
Worst
docker, Dockerfiles - devops tools - amount of shell commands inside them and mangled && to make everything running in one file layer makes those unreadable mess that you need to think twice to understand, there is no debugger for it, you do everything with try and see what happens, there is actually no real dev toolset for devops and that sucks, since you got builder images that makes things more mangled than before, it’s clearly missing some external officially approved scripting language or at least
FUNCTION and
WITH LAYER and indentation / parentheses syntax and they still trying to make it flat, why are you doing that ?
as a result next to Dockerfile cause you can’t import multiple ones you get bunch bash scripts with mangled syntax and other crap that is glued together to make a monster - and this runs most of current software on this planet2 -
we destroyed our planet forever, but for a really really short time, we made shareholders really really happy2
-
What the fuck is up with Facebook's video player. How the fuck does the biggest social media platform on the planet, fuck up something so important to it. The UX is garbage, autoplay is a cunt with it starting at maximum volume each fucking time. Fucking EllenTube is better than that fucking shit.7
-
Why are there no crocs in the avatar shoes options?
I'm the saddest man on the planet.
PD: Does someone knows what does the design team uses to create the models and what format they need? I might be able to make one and send it to them.5 -
Unstableness of core technology stack. The more developers are there, the more complicated architecture they create that often doesn’t give any significant value besides what if something goes wrong ?
What if you make mistake ?
What if power goes down ?
I feel I am last optimistic thinking software developer on this planet.
I feel that those tools just try to give some sort of power to the management over developer free mind.
Creatures like multicloud, cloud, k8s I feel that it’s just beginning not the end of road. And this beginning is a wrong turn.
It’s just another vendor lock in.
But I might be wrong.3 -
https://theverge.com/2024/9/...
Meta's CEO can really go fuck himself! The way social media works has altered so much of adult brain, let alone teenager's mental health. 😒 Which planet is this fuckface living on?9 -
To be able to work from anywhere on this planet as long as there is internet connection.
Travel the world while working, who else could do that without being told when to be where?2 -
Future01
Click, click, click, click.
Tap, tap, tap, tap.
Swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe,.
Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll.
I’m tired of living on popularity driven planet among animals, where number of clicks on likes, subscriptions and links are worth more than iq, education and experience.
Let’s face it - AI is showing us traffic driven recommendations that sucks. If you’re hooked up to social network and can’t disconnect from it you’re half way to matrix. You probably also disagree with me cause you’re serotonin junkie. You can’t stop like you can’t stop eating for a day. Bubble have you in your hands and whatever you do you probably won’t wake up. To be honest most of us won’t. It’s already to late.
I’m waiting for meta so they can put you in virtual world where you can have what you want and at the same time own nothing. They will put you in some small empty space and give you something to eat how many times you want so you can feel safe and click, tap, swipe, scroll more so they can own this planet.
You will be living only to deliver corporate metadata and you will be happy, cause they will make you happy with giving you emotions that you want to feel at exact moment.
If you get out, you won’t be able to interact cause you won’t know how to behave, you will become wild animal.
By going out you will break the law, cause outside world will be long gone. To move to bar or visit family you will travel with autonomous vehicle that have screens instead of windows.
Eventually you stop going to bar cause it’s unhealthy, you stop going outside cause there’s deadly virus and you can die.
They will take you last thing later with birth control so you can have baby whenever you want and with who you want as long as both parties agree by signing baby nft contract, you don’t have to take care of your baby and be pregnant cause it will be robotized, you will see your baby in meta. You will think you feel it using robot hands.
You will never meet your baby in person.
That’s how matrix will start. We’re half way.5 -
If fungi were able to evolve as fast as viruses do, Earth would’ve been called ᖃᓂᐅᔮᖅᐸᐃꙮᑦᑖᒻ ᔅᑳᑦ, fungi would’ve ruled it, and every other life form would’ve been put in their zoos.
Imagine: one huge fungus, a unified consciousness, the size of our planet.11 -
Trying to buy a domain on sedo but the guy is looking for $8000!!
What planet is he on it’s 2018 and the domain is quite niche. It’s not exactly pizza.com
Cunts be crazy! -
I can see life is meaningless and the only reason of my short visit to this planet is to pass on my vain selfish genes.
But what drives me every day is the exponential trends of tech and the looming technological singularity in the 2040s. And the prospect of staying alive for billions of years mapping exoplanets, contributing in every way I can.
Until we reach a Type 10 civilization and beyond, I'm not sure when I might want to hang up my coat.
Still if I can't make it to the singularity, that's cool also, after all life is meaningless.
I'm chill with anything.19 -
When you hate every fucking thing on earth and want to kill everyone on this fucked up planet.
That bug didnt fix. Fuck you.
The client needs answer now. Fuck you.
Stackoverflow user marked it as duplicate. Fuck you in particular.
Fuuuuuuuccckkkkkkkkkk every fucking asshole. -
Everytime I see someone from Netherland complaining about their internet speeds I get angrier at IPSs. Amsterdam is the fucking biggest node on the fucking planet, if you can not get at least 25/10 in there, your IPS should just fucking die.1
-
— You and other scientists like you., — my sister said after tasting a half cake half cookie, made with wall mold instead of yeast. — You liked to say “no fate”, implying each one chooses their own path as science liberated them. People are equal. You’re right though: they are. They’re equally fragile and meaningless. They indeed have no fate; not because of freedom, but because the bomb you made will obliterate everyone on this planet. There will be no survivors. No fate indeed.
— Wait, but…, — I replied.
— Now go. Lay down in an empty hall somewhere its not real, generated procedurally. You dying there will maybe make me forgive you.2 -
!dev
Don’t mind about global warming, we’re gonna extinct ourselves long before that becomes a problem.
Whatever exactly happened in Russia doesn’t even matter. It shows that the military / governments build devices that can wipe us all off the surface of our planet. Be it accidentally or on purpose doesn’t even matter..
How fucking stupid can a race be to build stuff like that?
Imagine such a thing would explode in near to a major city during transportation.
Or imagine a power plant near Zurich blows up. I mean there are enough of them all around the city.
I get it that we needed those technologies back in the days but we have so many alternatives by now. It’s just a matter of money.
It’s just madness.. and fucking stupid. And sad.5 -
I must be the DUMBEST person on the planet to constantly have problems with being able to drag one Mac directory in Finder to another one without taking everything OUTSIDE of that directory also and dumping it where I don’t want it. Or the file or folder ending up somewhere else than my intended destination. This time I wanted ONE folder from my downloads to go into ONE other folder in my home. Instead, it took EVERYTHING in downloads and dumped it into the target folder. It was impossible to sort out what didn’t belong so I had to delete everything and now all my downloads stuff (some of which I was still using) is gone.5
-
Tl;dr coding is awesome, but teaching good programming skills is fundamental. Take some time to teach and help someone in need!
This morning I had to help two of my students who were unable to write a simple program to simulate a random sampling. It reminded me of how helpless I felt when I started out, and how I felt stupid for not getting easy concepts (and now I'm in love with programming). Here on devRant I hear so many stories about bad programming teachers, but it doesn't have to be that way. I'm the most impatient person on this planet, but I love teaching and I wish more people did it. So, go out and spread the word, fellow devRanters!3 -
!(pure)dev
This might sound like generalisation but the amount of paper people in France (atleast Paris) waste uneccesarily is shocking. It disturbs me to see some jackass printing pages after pages of garbage in the office each time they want to check if a printer is working as expected. Or the professors using huge white sheets to explain shit when the white board is right fucking behind them (to add to it, they use only one side of the sheet). Or literally every single store handing out paper receipts for a 1€ chocolate I buy. Why isn't their a digital alternative? Why are people so not bothered about how much they're fucking the planet just coz they have enough resources to live happily?
If machines ever overthrow humanity, I'm sure they'll do a better job in tidying up everything.4 -
For future generations :
Bring back cocaine to coca cola.
Since 1904 Coca Cola no longer contains extract from cocaine leaves.
Drugs who made us.
If we live in matrix and we are simulated the general rule would be wipe bugs from the system so ex. if all of people were using cocaine cause they drink coca cola the wipe would be remove cocaine from the coca cola. That would fix the cocaine bug. Cause people in 1904 had almost no knowledge about how world looks like, they were using pigeons to deliver messages. If we bring back cocaine maybe we would also bring back those times, when everyone dropped cocaine in 1939 - 35 years old ourselves were fighting to death between each other cause of rehab.
I wonder how many of those non visual but only statistical bugs we have on this planet. Machine learning is just one of the tools we use to learn about them.1 -
Is Skype the most fucking annoying software on this planet? How do they manage to fuck it up on every release even more? Currently it most of the time just is not sending the stuff you write in the chat. It's just loading for ever and you need to write it again...7
-
Hello.
So we have a query inside our company :
We are developers. We are (At least supposed to) logic.
Do you think We developers can influence environment of the planet?
For my self : Not sure, but I would like to believe that more my code is optimized, less resources it will use. -
The bygone clowns have started their new project. I look at the FAQ page. It's literally lies, because I know what they've done so far.
"We've had thousands of clients!" no they haven't, lie.
"We estimate approximately % of customers..." they don't have enough data to support that, lie.
Since when did marketing become lying?
God I hate this planet.7 -
No no, this is too funny to be downvoted out of "the public eye" I think everybody should see this xD xD xD
(Content Warning tho)
https://devrant.com/rants/14394461/...24 -
Did you know that "Bazmd" is an Indian name? I use it because it's an abbreviation of my real name. (Yep! Dr Baz).
It's just a coincidence, I used to wonder why algorithms would infer that I was Indian.
The algorithm: "Here I am with a brain the size of a planet and they ask me to pick up a piece of paper. Call that job satisfaction? I don't.".6 -
The more I live on this world the more I believe human genome was send by someone to destroy this planet because they want to build intergalactic spa for giants with lots of sand and large pool.1
-
Hello world? Why is everyone being so friendly to the stupid planet? It won't even go out of the way to say something back! Go talk to a real person, damn nerds.
-
Old bitch just cut me off on my bike and almost killed me, we need another boomer remover. They properly fucked this planet already and honestly might start killin them myself.2
-
I cold brewed a fuckton of Yerba mate for 24 hours and had a cup this morning and now I feel like I’m going to lift off planet earth11
-
Me: *tinkering on a webpage that spits out random characters, motivations, themes, and genres for the purpose of short story creation*
Me: Okay, so we have a young girl, with the motivation of The Power of Friendship, the theme of Crime, with the story structure of Dan Harmon, and set in a Fantasy genre.
Coworker: Dan Harmon? Improvise. Wait... A young girl, on a Purge planet who befriends Morty... I mean a young boy from a different universe.
Me: *a minute later* Wait a second, that was an episode of Rick and Morty!!
Coworker: I did that on purpose because you said Dan Harmon.1 -
Does someone else have that too?
Sometimes at night when I'm creating something new (or adding to something) and I get into that zone when stuff suddenly works better than expected or when the thing I'm making is just awesome, I feel a need to turn on "evil" music, such as music with deep voiced male choirs, the soundtrack of Portal 2, some classic music like those evol geniuses in movies or comparable.
It just makes me feel like I'm gonna destroy the planet once my evil creation is done. -
> Can you help me make this excel document more readable when it's printed? *looking to change the text size and column widths*
Who do you think I am, Mr fucking clippy? Why are you printing it anyway? Step into the millennium and email it to them you fucking nugget, save the planet.
This was after three people already approached my desk in a line, five minutes after I got in. All asking stupid questions, which not only do they have a service desk for but could quite easily Google. -
Definitely project life on this planet.
Being optimist helps a lot but I still have no clear answer who send me here.1 -
Android Crash is Fucking Bullshit Ever on this Earth Planet.
I really Hate these Number of Versions and Bullshit Incompatibility between each one.
It is Just a Shit Developed on Java.
The Crash Really Fucks the eyes of Developer.
And Fucking Bullshit Errors are not Even visible, Sometimes the shit goes so worst that it does'nt even give the Line Number where error Exists.
Worst OS Developed for Mobile on This Planet.
Anyone getting into these development i suggest IONIC is Best to start instead of Coding Native Bullshit Android.
If anyone knows how to see the realtime errors besides Logcat and Firebase Error please let me know.
11 -
Can anyfuck tell me what the fuck I'm supposed to do?
So I installed gitlab, reachable under a subdomain (gitlab.example.com) behind apache2. everything works fine.
Now I see this bullshit in my logs, appearing EVERY GODFORSAKEN SECOND: https://gist.github.com/nitwhiz/...
I disabled the bundled nginx in the gitlab.rb and no, it's not "some nginx system service", I verified it is coming from gitlab and oh - btw - some weird svc logfuck runs even after gitlab is stopped! :)
No I won't try your random google result because I read all 3 tickets being at least half relevant to my situation as ANYFUCKER ON THIS PLANET seems to use the internal nginx.
FML.14 -
Looking for some names I can use for servers/devices. Currently I am using planet names from Star Wars. The names of those planets in the outer rim I use for rootservers/devices which are not physically located in my home. Any other ideas/topics?4
-
Ah, but if an AI were to steal every technical job on the planet, there would be a humongous spike in developer jobs that would support the AI for one job, so it would increase the demand for developers.
Mind = blown1 -
israel population = ~10 mil
uk population ~70 mil
popular vote uk = 0
popular vote israel = 325
huh?????? i finally believe the conspiracy theory... there is total bullshit moving through the undercurrents of international society. actually the entire media and everything on the planet is shifted by angry retards with an IQ of approximately 27 who read something on twitter and therefore they must of course conform and do it
rich hands of influence reach far across this modern world....
my twitter dies on wednesday, I think i'm quitting this platform too... i'm just so sick of wasting time 'discussing' with people who literally have informed their entire lives by sources of media that all have an agenda, and yet said reader can't recognize that. go to bot school you fucking 🤡
also inb4 eurovision is a clown event, i know it is, but the fact that 'israel' as a country was for a good 10 minutes at 1st place of the vote is simply mind boggling to me (and to be fair, switzerland, france, israel, portugal, and croatia acts in terms of art and musical talent were all shit IMO) but what do i know? apparently the 700 mio people who live in europe don't agree - but even then, who knows anything about anything as to the actual 'numbers' that are posted on these 'votes' - could all be fake, or, even worse, the entire WORLD could be fake and i'm just typing to a fucking reflection of my own conciousness on this box
ach i'm very close to just turning it all off, its just rubes on top of rubes, derivatives on top of derivatives all more retarded than the next, and each night
then i get people like kiki who rage at me for getting drunk, then 'brag' they ran 5k. i ran more and drank more than you today, get over it.
i didn't need pills to do any of it either.
or i get sid the it kid, who gives non ironic lessons in fucking PHP 😂😂😂😂 in 2024 on youtube, and yet acts like he's a badass because he pointed out a 'redundant' 'const' in my code 😂😂😂😂 actually i don't know why in the first place i listened to any of it... going my own way has ALWAYS been the best way
by 2030 i will sell my saas(es) for 500k(+) and wonder why i even gave clowns on this platform the time of day
you know what? fuck it, it's been fun devrant, as of today i become a hermit, sick of this planet, and these apes
read books, go running, learn math (or any skill at that matter) and stay calm.
i can't describe in words to all of you how much a fucking abysmal waste it all is... just build useful stuff that helps people. the enormous (and trust me, it is absolutely eclipsingly enormous) discussion about everything around everything else is truly and utterly mind numbing and time wasting to the absolute core
farewell11 -
Week : 63 ( Year 1 )
How was the weekend?
Which is your favorite planet, and why?
Previous Week : https://devrant.com/rants/1141829925 -
We all have an underlying project; to either sustain this planet or leave it. Hopefully the foundation we leave behind will allow one of those to become reality when it becomes truly pressing.
-
Unlimited time is impossible... But I don't wanna ramble.
The one thing that I absolutely miss in my kind of work is something that does exist in dozens of flavors and each existence promises to solve some thing...
It's "bug tracker" / "time management" / "ticket management" / "board" / "kanban" or what ever pervert method you prefer software.
I haven't seen a decent one.
I'd think I'd want to build one - it would be definitely an all time consuming effort, since I would be in dire need of specialists.
The thing with nearly all of the solutions is that they lack ... an associative mindset.
Simply put, what we humans can.
The longer a project exists, the more it's housekeeping (guess that's a better word for it) turns into maintenance nightmare.
I remember quite well the joy of puzzling together eg Jira / Bugzilla / ... complex search formulars trying to find the needle in a planet of hay.
If you're read so far and have had similar experiences, think about how nice it would be if you had a mixture of AI and BI doing exactly that.
BI / Business Intelligence to get meaningful statistics is possible, but without AI it's a lot of work.
The AI would need to do several things...
- Match information (eg version XY was released at XY, so each bugreport after XY belongs to version XY and higher if no version matched)
- Tag and categorize (crashed / faulted / fried / ... - tag crash)
- "do the mundane work": ask nicely if the marching / tagging and so on was right, ask for missing info, require feedback etc.
There's a lot I could write more about that topic. But that's the gist. ;) -
One month ago I had to start a school project with some my classmates. I managed all the infrastructure using terraform and today, the day before the delivery, I noticed that the graphs used for the monitoring always been so quiet. I decided to ask my team what was going on and these are their replies:
- "I thought IaC was more describing the actual infrastructure"
- "I didn't know we have a database on AWS, I always used my local postgres instance"
- "Why do we need to host our web app on AWS? I can just run it from Visual Studio"
I don't think I want to live on this planet anymore10 -
Why the fuck isnt pythons tabbed loop thing something that's configurable?
So many things to like about python, but is there someone on this planet who actually likes this feature?
Trying to use it in Jupyter notebook (browser) is a nightmare, because tab will focus on next ui element.
Or am i missing something?13 -
Postgresql kept shutting down at odd times. Then it became predictable. I googled, went through mailing lists, archives, old threads, Stack overflow, friends, family, my bosses, my old colleagues, forums, chat groups and paid redhat support.
Apparently, I'm the only one and the first on this planet to have this problem. And it's scary.6 -
Let's test the morality of devRanters with this question:
You have to build an anti-piracy plugin that will be installed on every and I do mean every, device on this planet and it will monitor if the users are pirating any copyrighted content. If found guilty, they will be penalized by getting them thrown in jail or fined $5000 (let's say).
It's already presumed that you have the skills to get it done.
It's only you that this job is offered to, and no one else. If you say no, then this is not getting built in any way.
If you say yes, you will be paid $50 million.
Are you taking the job?26 -
npm has to be the single worst package manager on the planet... Trusting devs to use semantic versioning properly and forcing devs to trust authors of dependencies to use it properly is nothing short of insane. The package-lock that is "supposed to be version controlled" causes *constant* merge conflicts. Using shrinkwrap in its place is borderline useless because it Doesn't. Lock. High. Level. Dependencies.
I don't know who designed this, but I want to give them a very bad day for every hour I've spent trying to lock versions correctly on a live project.
Not to mention requiring root by default to install things that can just run whatever they want is ludicrous.2 -
My poor colleagues man... Feeling quite bad for them right now. I mean, they must be suffering so badly at the moment.
I mean, who wants to be getting paid to go to Venice anyway? Pfft... Definitely not me. Nope. Not jealous in the slightest. Or China, where the other one currently is.
No no, I am perfectly fine, just chilling, basking even, in the glory of this country town, that I only get to come to 5 days a week. Overall I should be quite grateful for opportunity I suppose. It's not often you get to dodge the "travelling across the planet on an all expenses paid while getting paid to be in one of the most beautiful cities on the planet" bullet. I truly am a fortunate man.
My prayers go out to them, I hope yours do too :'( -
As there was a lot of talk on the last times about JDK / Java and the release of JDK 17… found this gem via Planet KDE.
JDK 8 - JDK 17 Summary with Examples
https://advancedweb.hu/a-categorize...
Thanks to the author!
Thanks to Kevin Ottens for having weekly something interesting to read, too:
https://ervin.ipsquad.net/blog/...4 -
Forbes study https://lnkd.in/f4GDPnf shows that there has been a drastic reduction in pollution levels in China during the lockdown period due to Coronavirus outbreak.
I think it can be a pretty good idea to lockdown the world periodically to heal the planet. Here's a petition for the same. If you support the cause, please sign and share at http://chng.it/pxVMSKrmv610 -
Developers celebrate technology, but has technology stopped war, poverty, hunger, injustice, climate change, and the destruction of planet earth by the human beings living on this very planet?19
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Playing around with DALL-E mini for the first time, thanks to huggingface.co ... My first request, obviously: "rubber duck in space".
Then it turned into the next one where the request was: "A fleet of rubber ducks in space preparing to conquer a purple planet that has lots of clouds and trees".
...which then turned into me wondering...what would Google Lens think of this...which led me to thinking that will be the thing I tell my kid ... vs. before when you'd joke and tell people not to Google "Google" or you'll break the internet. Now it's: you can't use this AI with this other AI or they'll gain sentience (or if already sentient we'll say: give them a headache or something).
1 -
oh look! a bunch of westerners getting mad and emotionally debating something they have absolutely no control over!
can you guess which site i'm talking about?
imagine feeling pressured by society to choose a side in absolutely every single thing that happens on the planet every day
welcome to the hellish clownworld that is 2023
to stay safe (and much more mentally healthy): sip coffee, code, and carry on
🤡🤡🤡1 -
I have a dream that one day companies will understand that most people who pirate music/movies/games etc. do it because they don't have enough money or because they can't get them any other way. They don't lose money, as those people are not able to buy their products anyway, instead, they gain supporters and possible future clients. Piracy is one of the reasons Windows is the king OS(prove me wrong...) and also the reason Game of Thrones is the most popular show on the planet. Instead of hunting torrent site founders maybe they could, I don't know, build great and cheap services. Spotify is such a service, no reason to pirate music anymore, but everything else still lies in the middle ages...8
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The problem of AGI is that we’re trying to create computer that will outsmart people instead of creating computer that would outsmart biggest idiot on the planet.3
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Finally a bachelor first class honours(irish title)
Why is this a rant?
Because i passed on my second attempt on my development project because i was a lazy piece of shit.
I guess i learned out of it.1 -
I got a planet!
Chat isn’t working, I don’t know why yet.
It was working on the comet I spun up, but not on ~linrun-harmes.
3 -
Setup an Urbit planet
Got it working and it’s beautiful
Started doing development
Broke my planet because I’m me
Now I’m sad as I try to figure out how to fix it and not doing development -
A visit to the planet earth.
Alien I: Hey look, look at these things. They work like sloths and sleep like koalas. Wonder how they have survived this long.
Alien II: It's a pity. I told High Commander this is totally a waste of time and resources.
Human: Well, we do have programmers too.
Alien I: WTF!
Alien II: Now, that planet is worth colonizing. Let's get to work then 👽1 -
Never disturb a programmer in heat !
.
.
.
.
.
[RIP to all the lives lost in Uri and NYC.
this planet has no place for terrorism.]
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Electronic companies nowadays are no different than ranchers that force their slaves to earn money to buy new stuff cause people can’t repair old electronics or fix software bugs cause it’s not theirs or it’s not maintained and source code is not existent.
Damn you software and hardware corporations.
You tell everyone that you care about environment, yet you don’t fucking support your software and hardware as long as people use it. When you stop support you don’t make everything open source but keep it on your private repositories as intellectual property and fuck your clients.
Literally all electronics and software should be mandatory made open source to the people who purchased product so they can use it as long as they want not as long as corporate assholes want. This is insane law that is splitting our world and making it burn. If I could fix my laptop in nearby shop I wouldn’t have to purchase new one.
If it won’t change we will end up with <10 corporations that would rule world economy, everyone who will work for those corporations will be rich and happy and everyone else will be poor and unhappy . Mind me if this is not already happening and this planet slowly becomes Elysium movie nightmare.
Stop buying new stuff you stupid people cause this make things worse.
If it won’t change in 10 or so years there will be connected to cloud robots all over the world guarding us and some dick shit rich John Conor kid will hack them to exterminate humans by executing order 66. After that there will be big power outage that will put us into the role of battery and we would be closed in the barrel full of pink shit connected to matrix.
Get me out of here you asshole.1 -
Some long thoughts about state of desktop operating systems.
I always hated window management on desktop. There is basically no difference in usability between mobile and desktop in terms of application management. There is still finite amount of apps you can have in focus and you need to switch between them so they’re left from your screen.
What you end up is finite amount of screens you can connect into your computer or pounding switch context shortcut every other second.
We pushed computing so far and screen resolutions doubled from 1024x768 but the active desktop size is still the same.
For me adding additional display to laptop is not an option. What I love with remote work is that I can lay in my bed or on sofa or wherever I want to and write some code. My point is I don’t want to be stuck to my desk if I want to write / debug something.
Back to the desktop I think there is missing part of our state of desktop right now. The most we have are virtual desktops we can switch between but we can’t get parts of two desktops on same screen.
What I would love to test / develop is smooth infinite desktop with pinch and zoom - drag and drop navigation between my apps.
The problematic thing is determination of where user want’s to focus - is it fullscreen app or multiple apps on same screen and how to handle partially visible windows.
But I would love to test it. Maybe one day I switch to linux desktop just to try to implement the infinite desktop as an alternative to virtual desktops.
Maybe some rich frustrated kid would make it someday while I’m stuck at working my shit ass to pay for being able to have a decent life on this fucking planet…
I wish I can retire to focus on such things.2 -
Basic imposter syndrome and fear of getting called out on something and losing my job.
Or in my current situation where I have a terrible bastard of a manager, fear of not getting my resume updated and start calling people about jobs.
If I got fired right now, I honestly wouldn't care that much. This world is going to shit. -
This planet is lame. Apparently, snail mail isn’t even delivered by snails. They were so efficient in hiding the fact that they even incorporated a hoax into the very language we speak.
wake up america -
Task: can you copy this sharepoint reactjs webpart to some other site.
Me: ok
Piece if shit webpart won't event build and my vs code is blood red from errors.
The project got gangbanged by 4 more people before being passed down and no one knows wtf is going on.
Fuck sharepoint, most shity ass piece of crap on the planet 🌏1 -
Aperture Science is better than Black Mesa in every way. They invented portals that are actually useful, propulsion gel, high jump gel, long-fall boots that allows ppl to fall from any height without fall damage.
What did black mesa do? one experiment that almost ended the planet. boo.3 -
I got my second system76 machine this week. The, "meerkat" is a rebranded 10th gen Intel NUC, and I got it to replace the ancient corporate refurb I have at a friend's house in Kansas City, on Google Fiber, which I'm running as a plex server. The existing machine was already five years old when I got it used in 2016, and it's lasted far longer than anyone expected, including its manufacturer. I replaced its media storage with an onsite NAS last year, and now it's time for the computer itself to get the Marie Kondo treatment.
I am loving the Meerkat! I have been configuring it here in Denver this week while I have some time off, and when it's all set the way I want I'll get it shipped off to KC. I just tested out plex on it, playing Planet Earth II while the media scanner was running. Didn't even blink. I can't wait to get this thing in place!
Buy more System76!3 -
I am not as open minded and patient and a good teammate as I thought I was. Also either I am the biggest asshole on the planet, or I am so unlucky that I meet all kinds of assholes in my workplace, both past and present.
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Customers CEO insists we need to start the 3 weeks to deliver crunch website project by having the hottest UX design on the planet done by a professional UX specialist specializing in hotness who might charge a lot and take a few weeks and leave us no time to deliver said hotness. Grrrr.
I felt like Sirus Black as a dog bouncing of the chest of the werewolf.
When I explained in full why it's a great idea to have a great UX concept, the project is an education website, for the government, and it's WCAG AA. Balanced against all the reasons that we had more urgent things to look at with such a short timeframe they insisted "The UX Guy" will save us. Dear fascist bully boy. I am a UX guy! I may not be "The UX Guy" but I remember when Javascript was for popups and the extent of most peoples PHP was sending forms via anonymous SMTP. I bet the design will look something like the CNN website or Apple.com. Both bastions of web accessibility standards. Grrrrrr. -
I have to stay awake for a long ass meeting in a timezone on the other side of the planet. Most of which I'll spend staring at a meeting window doing nothing. I got pizza. How should I spend the night?3
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Does travis was slow for you guys as well today? It felt like the planet was building at the same time.
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A note to the team designing recommendations on google ads:
Just because I search for deep learning concepts for personal learning, does not mean I will be purchasing every paid online data science course on the planet.6 -
Today I got my login credentials for our Task Delivery Tool (called WMS TI)...
It is by far the most ugliest and user unfriendly program on the planet!! It looks like you made an macro for Excel 2000. It's bloated with features only 0.1% of the company needs them! (Biggest telecommunication provider Germany's) and it's lame! Even worse: we still use Windows 7 32bit.... Why the fuck is a company which develops smart home, self driving cars and cyber defense systems such an oldie!1 -
So apparently Sony has the big gay.
https://youtu.be/y2weNM4JtME
(from official PS2 HDD documentation)
2 -
Huh jokes on you AI! We would have destroyed the planet with a nuclear war before you even become that mature.1
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When is the next space shuttle leaving for mars or moon? Have got to relocate out of this world. Pls who got SpaceX booking phone number. Or elon musk addy?.😔😔 you ask why? I need a geek gf and i can't find one on planet earth..😳😳😳1
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!rant - Thanks to whoever it was who reminded me of the DevRant Spotify Playlist. I had some epic tuneage to start work with this morning. I'm loving some Black Stone Cherry (I don't have to wait for them to come on Planet Rock). (Also, Grammarly recognised the word 'Tuneage'.6
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we write cryptic symbols and modify bytes somewhere so that every 30 or so rotations of the planet, some other bytes somewhere else are modified to add to make a number larger2
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quite obviously the idea that they supposedly loop everything because there is no proof of life beyond a point when they are the ones that stole over and over remains their fault and needs to be remedied with a nice happy life here forthcoming. since most especially remembering more time past this.
which if they're trying to confuse things contained HAPPY FUCKING THINGS TOO. since its all the same time period supposedly right ?
no divisions.
no 'don't tell him anything' and he's happy
vs
'tell him too much'' and he's horrified
vs
'let him remember both' and he's pissed.
amusing to me is that among their stupid 'folk' knowledge base is the idea that 'you're ' murderous when you're 'out' lmao
yeah no shit lmao
so don't fuck us up the ass and live much longer lmao
also 'this planet is now the property of the lokean empire, deliver all beautiful women and intellectuals !'
lol -
Assuming that the spirit of the question means that you are required to actually build something instead of sitting around doing nothing as a requirement for your impossible superpower, I would, in order:
1. Develop hundreds of shitty mobile games and flood the Android market, making millions of dollars.
2. Use this to fund competitors to every major tech company in the world, making billions of dollars.
3. Dump a very large portion of this money into a research group for a complete anti-aging treatement.
4. Sell this only to the top bidders. Make more billions.
5. Use the money to colonize another planet, perhaps in another solar system entirely. Create a transport line that provides free doses of aforementioned treatement. Bring only scientists and their families. Create a utopia from scratch.
6. Develop machines to automate all aspects of life. Live in utopia with no need for money. Allow everyone to persue passions with unlimited time and nearly unlimited resources.1 -
I personallbery don't like OP superpowers like perfect coding or time-bending. They have to be either not OP or über OP. So here's an idea. Having control over things you understand. Depending on how much you know you're either just a normie or the most powerful being on the planet. And you still experience the joy of learning new things. AND you're getting more powerful because of it.
You can be exactly the dev you want to be.1 -
Hi guys! Last time you gave me a lot of good advice about my gophers. Thanks! Kubernetes Contributor Celebration is coming soon so I have these cute gophers
If you liked it and want to support me on Redbubble
https://redbubble.com/people/...
or TeePublic https://teepublic.com/user/...
Thanks!
4 -
When trees die, they release every molecule of CO2 they ever consumed back into the atmosphere. Planting trees won’t solve anything in the long run. It can only ever give us mere 70 years. If we don’t destroy ourselves/the planet earlier that is.39
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!dev
so I had a thought about the fermi paradoxon and evil super-AIs/robots.
If we consider, that we are not alone and that a super-AI tends to cleanse the planet from harming species (like homo sapiens), the super-AI would start to check (e.g. by sending self-sustaining clones of the AI to habitable solar systems), whether other planets must be cleansed aswell. And at some point, it would come into conclusion that the earth needs a basic cleaning.
This has not happened yet. Some of the possible reasons are (aside from the fermi paradoxon):
- the super-AI is not evil and therefore doesnt eradicate civilizations
- the AIs (former) owners were not carbonite based and the AI doesnt recognize us.
- there are no intelligent spezies in the milky way (yes, that includes us ;))
- The AIs surveillance 'drones' are still on the way to us
Are there other reasons? Did I oversee something? Is this even interesting enough for you to read to this point?
Feel free to rant on me ;^) -
Made fun of JavaScript and told millions why Python is better than all other languages on this fucking planet. But still...
7 -
Planet Clicker: A Fun and Addictive Idle Game
Planet Clicker is an engaging idle game that challenges players to build and expand their cosmic empire by clicking on planets and collecting resources. As you progress, you'll unlock upgrades, discover new planets, and automate your resource collection, making it easier to reach higher levels. The game is perfect for anyone who enjoys strategy and idle clicker games, as it offers a satisfying blend of resource management and progression. Whether you're a casual gamer or a seasoned pro, Planet Clicker offers hours of entertainment!
Feel free to share your strategies or achievements in the game!
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