AboutLinux/FOSS, cyber sec, privacy and programming guy.
Joined devRant on 5/14/2016
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Boss: "Could you join the new DevOps team for a week or two, for some coaching?"
Me: "I'd rather watch you masturbate furiously in a corner of the office while you cry over your ex boyfriend"
Boss: "Yeah... that's why I ask you. You are the only one brave enough to watch"
Me: *Sigh* "But I don't know shit about what DevOps does, I'm a DBA. I've told you the difference a million times. Can't we just douse it in gasoline and set it on fire?"
Me: "Not the team, the servers..."
Boss, imitating Gimli: "And my ex!"
Me: "I get why he left you"
Boss: "It's funny, he was actually better with computers than me, maybe even better than you. He hated me for starting this company, told me I was just chasing money instead of ideals. He just isn't grown up enough to see that there is more to the world than computer games, brewing beer, maker festivals and gay bars, that you need to take responsibility... Maybe it just never works out between managers and geeks..."
Me: "Indeed. The difference in competence is too large"
Boss: "Ugh. You are like straight version of him... but will you at least take a look?"
Me: "Fine, unzip your pants..."
Boss: "No, not that... you need to teach DevOps this docking thing, with the parallel stuff, and the horizontal growth"
Me: "Damn I really hope we're talking about servers now... Do you mean Docker?"
Boss: "That's it. They want to learn how to dock on the Windows servers. They reserved two 4xlarge on AWS. Is that enough for docking?"
Me: "You know what. I'm going back to hug my DB designs, and wash my brain with some queries. Then I'll return here to burn everything to the ground. There is no hope for you left"
Boss: "That's what he said"
Me: "You're using that meme wrong"
Boss: "OK. So what if you just stay on DB management, and I'll just give you the budget to recruit a new DevOps lead and pay for training?"
Me: "That would work"
Boss: "Why are you grinning?"
Me: "Because I have your ex's phone number"19
When you are told the app you worked on is scheduled to go into production on Friday.....
My reaction was "Aise kaise?"
(Translation -How even?)1
FUCK THE FUCKING FUCK!!!
Window is open for fresh air to come in and the is sun shining through the slit exactly in my eyes while I'm sitting at my work desk!!!
FUCK THE SUN!39
I like how my company’s business conduct policy explicitly defines discrimination as treating somebody in a legally protected group less favorably.
Well what about discriminating against somebody for something that’s not legally protected?
What about treating somebody /more/favorably because of some “category” they are in?
Just seems weird to me12
Thinking about upgrading my security. Found this interesting project on kickstarter:
It looks pretty promising! Open-Source, no cloud services and Windows Hello support.
What do you guys think about it?
I just want a second opinion before I invest money on it!3
Made it!!! Starting at CERN on September 1st! :)
A big thank you to you guys for the support in my previous posts!22
TL;DR: German politicians want to make TOR illegal.
Fuck it. I’m done. EU sucks. Germany sucks. It’s time to get outta here.
Context: German politicians explained during the European police congress that they want to make TOR illegal in Germany. According to them, whoever uses TOR has malevolent intentions and the darknet has no use in a democratic system.
A different politician literally praised China for ignoring the right to privacy while analyzing their citizens. What is wrong in these people’s heads? Apparently they don’t understand that TOR != darknet, so in order to get rid of illegal activity on the darknet, they want make the entire service illegal altogether. Idiots.
Now, this is far from reality yet, they just mentioned this during a speech, but it is indeed alarming.
Source (it’s German unfortunately, i couldn’t find an English source yet): https://heise.de/newsticker/...37
Question, how would you build the ultimate "I don't want to be dependent on Google or Facebooks services" setup?
IE, not using Gmail for e-mail, not using Google maps for, well, maps. Etc.
Im realy curious to see how the ultimate open source/not dependent on any big corporation harvesting userdata, ecosystem would look like. :)12
That's very reassuring.
I do not want to use anything made by Google.
I've realized that only way to be truly free of data collection and tracking is to:
1. Host your own search engine
2. Create your own e-mail client
3. Use OpenStreetMaps
4. Use Signal16
I installed Ubuntu on my new laptop 12 hours ago.
Customised the shit out if it, tuning everything exactly how I want it to be.
I'm in deep compassionate love with Linux already and I've passed the point of no return.
Fuck you, Windows. My whole life was a lie.24
Yes.. yes... YES!!!
I've successfully become a certified Linux enganeer!!! Now I can also say "yeah mate I've fucked it up but look, I'm certified!!!" 😝
Full quality pic: http://nixmagic.com/pics/...11
So, yesterday I made a post asking for a recommendation on what to give my boyfriend for Valentine’s Day (He is a programmer and starting to learn how to develop video games) I gave him a Wacom, two online courses for Unity in Udemy, and, a portable coffee maker (since he previously complaint about the coffee in his office) What do you guys think? 😎7
Damn, just got back on here after a few months...had a bunch of "likes" waiting for me. Shout-out to devrant for making me feel "loved". What a cool community.
Buddy from dept I was in 4 years ago: Check your email.
10 mins later
Buddy: Can you join a webex now?
Buddy: OK, I'll forward the details, join when you can.
Me: Could you give me a little context?
Buddy: You helped them pull a cert off a USB stick in Switzerland last year (I'm in US).
Me: Don't think I did.
When I get a chance to read email chain, half of it is in German (I don't read it). Have not idea what this is about, but there seems to be a newer one that says it was resolved.
Me to Buddy: Looks like it was resolved.
Buddy: Yes, but they're still mad at you.
Buddy: Because you wrote that app and it's hard to update the certs.
Me: I wrote that app as a favor, the dev they hired spent 6 months rewriting 3 SQL queries before being fired.
Buddy: LOL, well I guess they don't like the cert part.
Me: OK, but when I turned it over to them it didn't have a cert at all, I have no idea what the feature is.
Buddy: They said you help them last year.
Me: I didn't.
Buddy: Well they still think it's all your fault.4
Got a phishing email with name-pw sent as get parameters so i did what ever respectable human would have14
Modern software has gotten so bad that it even gets sluggish at times on late 2018 flagship devices. Slow, cheap hardware like is usually developers' and fanboys' excuse, particularly when it comes to Windows stuff? Like hell it is.
Software "engineering" has become so.. terribly inefficient. I'd dare any developer worth their salt to rewrite their program to make it work on an early 2000's machine. After all, those can run pretty advanced GUI's, have a reasonable amount of hardware (just think about how large a gigabyte of RAM really is) yet should be able to make for a reasonable limitation set.
Hardware limitations are the mother of optimization. Not every person on the planet has a 32-core Xeon workstation with 64GB of DDR4 RAM and a GTX Titan in it. Whether your application performs reasonably well on your machine shouldn't be the metric. Try deploying it on that laptop you tucked into a shelf years ago and reevaluate.. please.
And definitely you Slack!! Slacking off, is that what inspired the name of that pile of junk?! 😡28
Been married for 14 years to a non-technical spouse. Biggest issue has been not able to properly vent about technical issues to my best friend. She still listens when I do even though I'm sure she doesn't understand. But, I love that she tries anyway.3
First post, woo!
CEO: Ok guys, we need x feature by Friday
Me: This would normally take more than a month!
CEO: But I already told our customers we'll have this feature
Why the fuck does the management never consult me for timelines.14
What irritates me to no end.
"Companies" that try to game the system and have people pay for something that is already free.
I was tasked with implementing a Magento payment solution integrating WeChat Starpay.
Sure no problem, maybe 6 hrs of work.
When I couldn't get access to the api as a developer, when the site doesn't have SSL and wants sensitive banking information, when the contact form doesn't work directly, and they have a contact form on mikecrm.com, my suspicions were raised.
Looking around further, all they are doing is mirroring the chinese api, taking your banking info and submitting to wechat for you.
Ofc, I canceled the project, found the chinese api, and will most likely release an open source version integrating the free chinese api directly.
Companies like this piss me off, so unethical. they want to do the minimum amount of work possible and have people pay for it.
As far as doing work again for friends, that is over.
I may not be the most righteous human being that walked the earth, but I do have unwavering ethics and honesty for the most part.3
Thanks, I am happy to be sharing my payment details with your company.
ATTACHED TO THE LOGIN DETAILS YOU EMAILED ME!1
He’s become so cynical watching crappy engineers write dumpster fires that every single time he is chatting with somebody in online dating he details the conversation and starts ranting about crappy software
“So what do you do?”
“I’m a software engineer”
“Oh I have this computer...”
“LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT YOUR COMPUTER”
Seriously he needs supervision when dating5
Just found what's possibly the most minimal yet cool got client ever: lazygit.
It's an ncurses sorta thing that works inside your terminal. I know I should be using the commands, but this one is really convenient and fast.1
Well, at least the keycaps look as good as new. I don't have a fitting screwdriver for the screws in the back and my local hardware store does not have one either (curse them!), so I'll need to order one on the internet. While I'm at it, I'm also going to order screws in order to screw mod it.14