Details
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AboutFormer firmware engineer, than system architect and finally embedded engineer
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LocationLuzern, Switzerland
Joined devRant on 3/7/2017
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I used to design and program these systems. Some of the first voice responsive ones. I’m so sorry for my crimes against humanity.2
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I switched to Comic Sans for any internal communication.
Those in delivery/support/sales/HR/emotional crap/professional buzzworders/etc no longer take me seriously and therefore I no longer waste my time with their BS.
If not an improvement in the more materialistic side of the career itself, certainly an improvement in the quality of life.3 -
Renaming your master branch to "main" is racist. When Git was created, there were no connotations related to slavery. Also, the word "master" has many meanings, and in the context of computer technology, "master" has nothing to do with slavery.
When I tell that to people, some of them say "but wait, you're white, so you by definition can't understand feelings of black people".
Feelings come from one's mind. Proposing the situation where I can't understand something because "only black people understand it" implies white and black people being different in their cognitive abilities, and that's fucking racism right there.
Ability to understand cultural and historical phenomena does not depend on race. Anyone who says that without a biological proof is a racist.
I find it ironic how it's microsoft who almost enforced this on GitHub while themselves supporting literal concentration camps: https://github.com/drop-ice54 -
i get on calls, tell devs what to do and slack off for the rest of the day just to earn my salary at the end of the month2
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So, none other than the father of our beloved Linux kernel - Linus Torvalds, just totally put an antivax guy down in the public kernel mailing list.
I think I love Linus even more now. He may not be a people person, but he sure does know how to totally rip people into shreds lol.
https://lore.kernel.org/ksummit/...23 -
Worst codding interruptions? That's easy: fucking meetings.
You know they're coming up. They start to drain your focus. You double check the clock/start time. You ask yourself if you were supposed to prepare anything. You typically waste an hour of your time over something that could have been a fucking e-mail (or doesn't even matter at all). You come back to your desk, and your focus is broken and you wonder when the next meeting is coming up.2 -
It's funny to see creator of a product not being experienced enough to apply for the job posting related to the same product...😂
https://twitter.com/tiangolo/...4 -
I finally fucking did it!
I strapped up, strapped in, strapped on... uh wait what?
I finally made the full dedicated switch to linux on my personal computer. Blew away Windows and installed linux. I was able to get about 95% of the games that I actually play on PC to run under a combo of proton/lutris-wine.
I feel like after working in a (primarily) linux shop for almost 2 years now, I've learned enough to be able to actually troubleshoot if/when something goes wonky. I've been a windows/sysadmin type in my career for about 8 years and only touched small bits of linux here and there or for fun little projects like a retropie setup.
But thanks to this gig I'm working at now, as a devops engineer, I've learned so got'damn much about linux and I've been developing scripts/tools that run on linux I figured I could, or better yet 'should', take the full plunge.
So, I've decided that if there's something I absolutely need on Windows that Linux doesn't support, instead of knee-jerking and going back to Windows, I'm going to just setup a VM of windows and daily drive Linux from now on.
Some gfx tweaks for games were definitely necessary, it's still not quite as plug and play as Windows for games, but the fact that it only took like 1.5 hours to sort out all of my games performance is really impressive. Especially, considering none of these games actually supports linux out of the box and Wine/Proton is being used to get them to work.9 -
Normal person in an elevator:
- gets in
- pushes the floor number
- patiently waits
- gets out
Programmer in an elevator:
- gets in
- pushes the floor number
- thinks about how elevators are programmed, what the data structures would look like.
- regrets his life decisions 😂
- gets out4 -
❤️ Swift ❤️
for (i = 0; i < polygon.count; i++) {
// some print statement
} **
This highly advanced and futuristic piece of code made the Swift compiler eat 14+ GB of RAM while trying to syntax-highlight, before crashing my 8 GB-equipped Macbook.
** yeah, "C-style 'for' loopz syntaxx deprecated since Swift 3 blah blah". Let's reinvent an industry-standard for no goddam reason, because Swift is the FUTURE, oh, and because fuck you by the way.3 -
For the first time in my life, I watched spirited away.
Never watched any movie like this, everything in this movie "touched" me.
Never felt anything like this before.9 -
This is a true story
I am a freelance developer, i recently had this conversation with my client:
Client: Add multi language option to my website
Me: Ok, I need for it 3-5 days
Client: Why?
Me: I need to create multi language system, this
website is built from scratch without using any
framework
Client: No need to built it, Just enabled it i need it fast
Me: Sir there is no such thing to enable features that
does not exit
Client: Listen me, I need this feature today, enable it
and we are done.
Me: Thats not how it works..
Client: I know how it works, i have hacking certificate15 -
A wild Darwin Award nominee appears.
Background: Admins report that a legacy nightly update process isn't working. Ticket actually states problem is obviously in "the codes."
Scene: Meeting with about 20 people to triage the issue (blamestorming)
"Senior" Admin: "update process not working, the file is not present"
Moi: "which file?"
SAdmin: "file that is in ticket, EPN-1003"
Moi: "..." *grumbles, plans murder, opens ticket*
...
Moi: "The config dotfile is missing?"
SAdmin: "Yes, file no there. Can you fix?"
Moi: "Engineers don't have access to the production system. Please share your screen"
SAdmin: "ok"
*time passes, screen appears*
Moi: "ls the configuration dir"
SAdmin: *fails in bash* > ls
*computer prints*
> ls
_.legacyjobrc
Moi: *sees issues, blood pressure rises* "Please run list all long"
SAdmin: *fails in bash, again* > ls ?
Moi: *shakes* "ls -la"
SAdmin: *shonorable mention* > ls -la
*computer prints*
> ls -la
total 1300
drwxrwxrwx- 18 SAdmin {Today} -- _.legacyjobrc
Moi: "Why did you rename the config file?"
SAdmin: "Nothing changed"
Moi: "... are you sure?"
SAdmin: "No, changed nothing."
Moi: "Is the job running as your account for some reason?"
SAdmin: "No, job is root"
Moi: *shares screenshot of previous ls* This suggests your account was likely used to rename the dotfile, did you share your account with anyone?
SAdmin: "No, I rename file because could not see"
Moi: *heavy seething* so, just to make sure I understand, you renamed a dotfile because you couldn't see it in the terminal with ls?
SAdmin: "No, I rename file because it was not visible, now is visible"
Moi: "and then you filed a ticket because the application stopped working after you renamed the configuration file? You didn't think there might be a correlation between those two things?"
SAdmin: "yes, it no work"
Interjecting Director: "How did no one catch this? Why were there no checks, and why is there no user interface to configure this application? When I was writing applications I cared about quality"
Moi: *heavy seething*
IDjit: "Well? Anyone? How are we going to fix this"
Moi: "The administrative team will need to rename the file back to its original name"
IDjit: "can't the engineering team do this?!"
Moi: "We could, but it's corporate policy that we have no access to those environments"
IDjit: "Ok, what caused this issue in the first place? How did it get this way?!"
TFW you think you've hit the bottom of idiocy barrel, and the director says, "hold my mango lassi."27 -
Clickbait will never change.
It's the most stable and constant source of mild annoyance.
2019 internet:
"These 3 programming languages will net you the highest salary"
"Ten home improvement tips using nothing but recycled underwear"
"How to cut onions like a real chef"
2020 internet:
"3 programming languages to learn while being bored in self-quarantine"
"Ten ways to use underwear as facemasks during the pandemic"
"Onions might cure corona, click here to learn how to cut them"
2030 internet:
"These 3 programming languages will increase your chances of survival in the wastelands"
"Ten ways to patch up your shelter against radioactive ashes using old underpants"
"Hydroponic onions are a good source of nutrients. Here's how you cut them with your camping knife"13 -
Manager: "If needed, are you willing to work overtime this month?"
Developer: "Yes. [ ... pause ... ] would you give me some over my salary for sometime?"
Manager: Yes, increment happens every 6 months.
Developer: "I am thinking beyond it".
Manager: "No, it is not possible"
Developer: "Okay"
** alarm clock vibrates **
Developer: "It is 5:00 PM now. I need to leave. See you on coming Monday at 9:00 AM sharp"
[Developer left]
Manager: "Byeeeee ... "2 -
I got laid off from my previous position as a Software Engineer at the end of June, and since then it was a struggle to find a new position. I have a good resume, about 4 years of professional dev experience and 5 years of experience in the tech industry all together, and great references.
As soon as I got laid off, I talked to my old manager at my previous company, and he said that he'd love to hire me back, but he just filled his last open spot.
In order to prepare, I had my resume reviewed by a specialist at the Department of Labor, and she said that it was one of the better resumes that she had seen.
There aren't a huge amount of dev jobs in my area, and I got a TON of recruiter emails. But they were all in other states, and I wasn't interested in moving.
I applied to all the remote and local positions I could find (the ones that I was qualified for,) and I just got a bunch of silence and denials from all my applications. I had a few interviews that went great, but of course, those companies decided to put the position on hold so they could use the budget for other things.
The silence and denials were really disconcerting, and make you think that something might be wrong with you or your interviewing abilities.
And then suddenly, as if the floodgates had opened, I started getting a ton of callbacks and interviews for both local and remote opportunities. I don't know if the end-of-year budget surpluses opened up more positions, but I was getting a lot of interest and it felt amazing.
Another dev position opened up at my previous company, and I got a great recommendation for that from my former manager and co-workers. I got a bunch of other interviews, and was moved onto the next rounds in most of them.
And finally, I got reached out to regarding a remote position I applied for a while ago, and the company was great about making the interview process quick and efficient. Within 2 weeks, I went from the screening call, to the tech call, and to the final call with the CTO. The CTO and I just hung out and talked about cars/boats/motorcycles for half the interview, and he was an awesome guy. AND THEN I GOT AN OFFER THE NEXT DAY!
The offer was originally for about the same amount as I made at my previous job, but I counteroffered up a good amount and they accepted my counteroffer!
It's a great company with offices all over the world, and they offer the option to travel to all those offices for visits if you want. So if you're working on a project with the France team and you think that it'd be easier to just work with them face-to-face, then the company will pay to fly you out to Paris for the week. Or you can work completely remotely. They don't mind either way.
I'm super excited to work with them and it feels great to be back in the job world.
Sorry about the long post, but I just wanted to tell my story and help encourage anybody out there who's going through the same thing right now.
Don't get discouraged, because you WILL find an awesome opportunity that's right for you. Get somebody to go over your resume and give you improvement recommendations. Brush up on your interviewing skills. Be sure to talk about all the projects you've worked on and how they positively impacted people and/or companies.
This is what I found interviewers responded the best to: Be sure to emphasize that you love learning new things and that you love passing along that knowledge to other people, and that your goal is to be an approachable and reliable source of knowledge for the company and to be as helpful as possible. It's important to be in a position that encourages both knowledge growth and knowledge sharing, and I think that companies really appreciate that mindset in a team member.
Moral of the story: YOU GOT THIS!10 -
Me and my dev boyfriend went camping the other day in the middle of nowhere in Chile. Before entering the campsite we agreed no dev talk on the hike and then the moment we arrive we get the 0th tent platform. We looked at each other and chuckled our way into the tent 😂
#relationshipGoals10 -
Sometimes I wish I was allowed to just strangle my colleagues...
Example from the 'code base':
try:
do_something()
except Exception as e:
log(e)
do_something()
When I asked why they would redo the same call right after it failed I was told that 'It works the second time because it takes time to raise the Exception '.
Bitch, you've got a race condition in your sensitive banking software. You know it's there. Do you really want to trust the time needed to raise your exception will always be enough to synch that dumpster fire you call code?
Show some fucking respect for your craft and fix that shit. But of course they won't, because it will work flawlessly until it suddenly stops working. Taking down who knows what in this damn, undocumenred monolith with it....
Sometimes I'm honestly afraid to trust banks with my money.7 -
Haven’t been on here for ages, but I felt like I needed to post this:
Warning:
This is long, and it might make you cry.
Backstory:
A couple of months back I worked for a completely clueless dude who had somehow landed a contract for a new website for a huge company. After a while he realised that he was incapable of completing the assignment. He then hired me as a subcontractor and I deleted literally everything he had done and started from scratch. He had over promised and under explained what needed to be done to me. It took many sleepless nights to get this finished with all the amendments and I had to double my pricing because he kept changing the brief.
Even after doubling my prices I still put in way too many hours of work. At one point I had enough and just ghosted the guy as I had done what he asked, and when he submitted it to them they wanted changes. He couldn’t make the changes, so I had to. He wouldn’t pay me extra though. I decided it wasn’t worth my time.
A couple of days ago I heard from him again. He had found another subcontractor to finish the changes. He still needed a few things though, so he promised me that I would get paid after fixing those things. I looked at the few things he had listed in our KANBAN and thought it was a few easy tasks.. until I opened the project..
I had my computer set up to sync with his server because he wanted everything done live and in production. So I naturally thought I would just “sync down” everything that the other subcontractor had done.
Here is where the magic started to happen.. I started the sync and went to grab a glass of water, and it was still running when I came back. I looked at the log and saw a bunch of “node_module” files syncing - around 900 folders. Funny thing is; neither the site nor server has anything to do with node..
I disregarded this and downloaded the files in a more manual fashion to a new folder. Interestingly I could see that my SCSS folders had not been touched since I stopped working on the project.. interesting, I thought to myself..
Turns out, the other subcontractor had taken my rendered and minimised CSS file, prettified it and worked from there. This meant that the around ~1500 lines of SCSS neatly organised in around 20 files was suddenly turned into a monster of a single CSS file of no less than 17300 lines.
I tried to explain to the guy that the other subcontractor had fucked up, but he said that I should be able to fix it since I was the one that made it initially. I haven’t replied. My life is too short for this.8 -
[Client]
We've noticed we gave you the wrong product prices for our new online shop.
[Dev]
Yeah, just login to the backend and fix them.
[Client]
But we don't want to use your fancy backend, we'll be using anyway soon - we want EXCEL!
Could you send us an EXCEL, so we can fix that?
How much will this cost?
[Dev]
Sure... here you are.
Not that much, takes about an hour.
[Client]
Great, you'll hear from us in a few days.
(a few months later...)
[Client]
We've finally managed to update the EXCEL. And btw, we've also added a bunch of columns with product pictures and new properties, highlighted products to delete red, inserted some comments with manual instructions and basically destroyed the entire data structure of this table.
Before I forget... also make sure to get this finished today, we have to go live ASAP. Our marketing campaign is already live.
[Dev]
Well, I'm sorry to say this, but this is not possible.
I'm currently working on another project and it will take me hours to clean up the data you sent me, before even starting to build an import tool for the new data you provided. Better stop the campaign and I'll do my best to get this done by the end of the week. Also it may be a bit costly.
(angry client calls immediately...)
(dev transfers to manager...)
(client transfers to client's boss...)
[Manager]
Ok Dev, I think I was able to explain it to them. However, it would be great if you spend day and night to get this thing out ASAP.
[Dev]
No problem...
I'll just do it by hand to get this out immediately.
(few days later; nearly done, exhausted)
[Client]
Hey Dev, here's another EXCEL.
We've just noticed there were a bunch of errors in the previous one. Please use this instead...13 -
I'm really down.
I spent 10 years building on an application worth 800K$ revenue per year.
I tried to build a technical team. All left, because of fights with stupid account managers, CEO, business managers.
I was left alone for almost one year alone, working like 60-70 hours per week to keep the things going and adapt to more customers.
And looking for potential partners to outsource things.
Now out of the blue, 3 weeks before my summer holiday, investors introduce me to a "partner" that will rent to us a "developer" for 2 months. from tomorrow.
What the fuck I'm gonna do with him in 2 weeks I don't know.
Actually I understand that this "partner" will take over the whole project.
They used the word "to help me", but actually during the meeting they said to fix things that are not working, and to develop new features because the project is blocked.
Of course there are bugs, I have no developers with me and hundred of features and integrations to maintain. And of course everything is blocked because I have to think hard about priorities.
I feel humiliated in the worst way.
I don't know what will be my future position.
I wasted time contacting potential partners and the answer was always "there are no money".
The business strategist, entered one year ago and said "no more IT investment".
Basically as cofounder and cto (of myself), they will not fire me, if I stay silent. If I accept to be a puppet. And eat, eat eat a lot of shit. I'll grow fat from the shit I'll eat.
I feel I've lost all my hard work, and I'm alone.40 -
True Story. Good rant bad pitched.
Just a small information before: In Germany, if you want to be a softdev and want to learn it, you can either go study IT or you can have a apprenticeship, which is 3 years with 75% of work in a company which will pay you (around 1K / month) and 25% in a school.
I work for this city-govermant company nearly 1 year now. Around 6 month into I told them I which to have a intern for 3 years (apprenticeship) at my site. Most likely because I really enjoy to teach.
My boss agreed to this very fast, told me it's a good idea, it would be a new way for our company to evolve. In Feb 2019, when we had interviews with candidates, we decided for one and I made a resource plan for most of 2019 in which I blocked 3 weeks for the start of his apprenticeship in July (2 weeks ago) because I knew he is a kid, 18 years, etc, never coded etc.
7 days into his apprenticeship my boss called me and my boss to her and told me there is a project which should be done by end of june and why it isnt finished.
It was the same project which I had ressources for 4 weeks in June but the department didn't come up with proper feature requests etc. so another department got the time from me. I told my boss exactly this: not my fault that it isn't done, showed her emails, reminders etc.
I also offered her to spend a weekend soon if everything is there now, but she told me: no. It has to be done ASAP. ASAP means, start now, don't stop until its done.
I told here, I have a intern on my site, I blocked the time.
She told me one sentence I will never forget:
"If your intern is blocking this project, he has to go. You decide. Now."
I was so surprised that I didn't even got any word out then "yes, I will start." I was shocked by this words and her decision to quit this young guy.
Just to give a a bit more background: we hired him in Feb 19 for Jul 19. If we would quit him right now, he would most likely not have any chance on the market for another apprenticeship and has to wait for Jul/Aug 20 and 1 year without job, money etc. He even moved to our city for this job...
So I moved back to my desk and today, 2pm, I finished all of the project, nearly 50h+ work done in 5 days, so he can stay.
What the actual fuck...15 -
Some ideas for variable names. Thank me later :))
1. bool sheet;
2. int entionally;
3. char mander;
4. double penetration;
5. string cheese;
6. long schlong;23