Dude! We have toilets on each floor. Why do you push shit on git?

CS Professor: “What M word is the black hole to all productivity?”

Student: “Management”

CS Professor: “Was going to say meetings but that’s better”

Girl: "hey"

My Brain:
java.lang.NullPointerException:
at net.brain.functions.Talk.retrieveSpeech(Talk.java:2978)
at net.brain.functions.Talk.createFlirtyResponse(Talk.java:3132)

Me: null

*Girl walks away*

Today I had a reflection with an client and they surprised me with a present. They wanted to thank me for the hard work and effort I made.

Wauw! It just keeps me motivating to work hard and keep my clients happy!

There is NOTHING more satisfying than having an algorithm suddenly click while you are in the shower.

I got a program for determining Prime Numbers using Extended Euclid Algorithm from ~2 to .28 seconds <3

My classmates are such hypocrites. They pretend to be programmers, but they can't fool me.

"Oh sorry. I can't show you the result of my html code. I have to compile it first, but there's no WiFi."

There's so many things wrong with that.

API? More like Aπ

pshht 🤫😄

This is what happens when I'm asked to document something.

If you somehow managed to install Mac OS on a raspberry Pi, does that make it an Apple Pi?

I'm sorry, I'll leave now...

buzzword translations:

"cloud" -> someones computer

"big data" -> lots of somewhat irrelevant data

"ai" -> if if if if if if if if if if if if if else

"algorithm" -> something that works but you don't know why

"secure" -> https://

"cyber security" -> kali linux + black hoodie

"innovation" -> adding something completely irrelevant such as making a poop emoji talk

"blockchain" -> we make lots of backups

"privacy" -> we store your data, we just don't tell you about it

Happy new year from France! 🇫🇷

Every js dev I know

My biggest dev sin is not writing any unit tests for devRant :/

My wife: “Commit, then come to bed.”

Me: I mend shoes

No doubt 😂

My view. Where I only have WiFi (barely) and can't receive calls. Unplugging again, but thought I'd share

But my computer won't work without EXES!

Code comments be like....

Oh!! Nevermind!!

All I want for Christmas is... 😍😍😍

Will the bug in my code please stand up?

I repeat

Will the bug in my code please stand up?

I think we have a problem here.

*music intensifies*

*gets comfy, all set up with laptop*

Battery: I'll die now, cool? Cool.

LMAO 😂😂😂

When your girlfriend bathroom is highly active on github

Girlfriend: What's your biggest fear?

Me: That machines take over the world.

Girlfriend: What?

Toaster: What?

Recruiter: And I found your devRant account, it’s @brod right? very interesting stuff.
Me: ...

Our programming teacher had a surgery on his left eye and will not be able to do the lessons with us. Guess what the subject of the email he sent us was.

"I can't C#."
He made a pun about his fucking health status, alright then.

I see this message after 75 days without closing devRant.