Hope I'm not late with this one.

We need this NOW

At least once!

Twitter: Julia Evans @b0rk

My mobile phone provider called me and offered me a new contract containing more data volume.
Customer service: 'Your current contract has only 1.5GB data volume. That's not much. With this you can only send 1 or 2 pictures and that's it.'
Me: 'What kind of pictures do you use / send? 😨'

Crossover

"Only stay late at work when it makes sense to, otherwise always leave on time. There's always going to be work left, no matter how much you get done in one day."

Best advice ever.

Edit: I have to say it was during my first week in my first recent grad job.

-When using Windows
Butthurt Geeks: "You suck, use Linux!"

-When using Ubuntu
Butthurt Geeks: "You suck, use Arch! (or anything that isn't based in mainstream Ubuntu ) "

-When using Atom
Butthurt Geeks: "You suck, don't use the mouse!"

-When using Vim
Butthurt Geeks: "You suck, use Emacs!"

Really, do you always have to force everyone to use the toys that you are using?

"Don't give your 100%. Never. Once you gave, managers will start expecting more than that." - My mentor.

Absolutely!

Always

weedX 😂😂

Differentiate it twice...
That's how you get it... 🤓

My new mug! Rick rocks!!

Me: So i will share docker image with you
Colleague: It's a png or jpeg?
😑

Shake it off...

GDPR done right. 😂😂

What a stupid configuration of firewall at my work:

devrant -> blocked because of entertainment category.
xvideos -> no problem at all.

Conclusion: sysadmin likes watching porn.

Client : pls put the disclaimer that the site uses cookies.
Me: but we don't use cookies this is a static page
Client: Still, the pop up makes the site look more professional, kindly add the feature asap
Me: :/

programmer never die,they have no life

YOUR MAMA SO FAT SHE CAN'T STORE FILES LARGER THAN 4 GB.

I'll show myself out.

How true is it ?

Microsoft mentioned devRant on Twitter

I guess she was fluent in C#

A hacker deleted the despacito video from youtube.

Those are not the hackers we deserve, but the hackers we need.

A Month ago...
Me: when are you going to complete the report
Friend: we can do it in minutes
Me: you can't Ctrl + c and Ctrl +v as there is plagiarism check
Friend: we have spin bot
Me: you do that now itself . if something happens? You can join me .
Friend: just chill

Now ...
Me: done with report
Friend: feeding it to spin bot!

Feeds text related to database security....

Spin bot:
Garbage collector == city worker
SQL statements == SQL explanation
SQL queries == SQL interrogation
SQL injection == SQL infusion
Attack == assault
Malicious == noxious
Data integrity == information uprightness
Sensitive == touchy
.....
Me: told you so...
**spin not == article rewriter

HTML vs html5

Haha sounds about right

I really like this one 😂