I got the job!

Interviewer: So how long did you work at your last job?

Man: 30 years

Interviewer: and how old are you?

Man: 22 years

Interviewer: you're 22 and you have 30 years of experience that's not possible

Man: and you are looking for a junior dev with 5 years of experience

Finally

That feeling when you remove unused parts of the code.

Just got a job offer for a SysAdmin job at CERN! :D

A big fuck you to the italian philosophy of hiring newly graduated students with shitty contracts and a big win for a simple student that wants to learn from the best :)

I don't get people..

He is a good person and and realy tries..

Tries what?! To annoy coworkers that have to fix every single thing he does?!

Some people will justify anything with 'he is a nice person and tries hard'. WTF?!

So if someone is a nice person, likes to talk a lot, has 'good' social skills but writes crappy code he doesn't test at all.. or tests and see that it's glitchy and still doesn't fix it.. so he is a good worker for that?! Dafaq?!

So if he is a 'lovable' person, he deserves to be here, doing more damage than helps.. he deserves to have a job, with same pay (or even more) than me?! WTF?! How?!

Why is this ok?! If we were heart surgeons and he killed a person or two due to lack of skills or negligence, what would happen?!
He'd get fired on spot!! Why can't it be the same with devs?!

Why on fucking earth do we need to put up with people who try their best and fail?! Especially if their best is lowest of all, lower than the 'I don't give a fuck, just doing sth so the boss stops nagging'?!

Fuuuuuuuu!!!!

But ok, some people are not cut out for some work, I get it.. but why the fuck do other people justify that with 'he tries'?! Dafaq?!

Maybe next time 'I'll try' to perfom brain surgery on you..and you'll end up a fuckin plant.. is that ok with you?! I'll be trying (not really) and do my best (well I will try not to use a chainsaw when cutting open your head).. will that be ok with you?!

Fuck!!

A lot of devs I meet are pretty cool but a handful, including some on here, seem to think the world revolves around them and they deserve to have the ground dusted off in front of them.

That's fucking narcissistic and you need a reality check if you're like that. It's great you're passionate about your knowledge but you're not out here taking down terries and saving children from burning buildings, like calm down with the self righteousness

Just had to get that out after one too many "how dare anyone looketh unto me unless I request it in advance" posts. Like chill out, you're not that special 🙄

That's how recursion works

Jack please stay away

assignment: use winAPI to create a "virus" that put itself in autorun and does nothing.

me, a curious student: does the assignment and adds a heap corruption code just as a joke.

after sending the assignment to the teacher I realized that I have sent the real virus.

result: teacher comes next lesson without a computer and stares at me silently and viciously.

we'll see what happens next
any idea on what's going on in his head?

At home I am root. At work I am at the mercy of incompetent monkeys and their shoddy restrictive systems...

Anyone else?

Why Microsoft why??

heating your food with a GPU instead of a microwave.

I fucking love my job. The boss just bought all the devs, QA and support guys brand new sit/stand desks and gaming chairs. Those chairs are so damn comfy! :)

One of the owners of the company I work for is teaching programming to the lady's son who cleans the office. They are poor people but with a good heart. It is so good to know that if he takes this opportunity, he could help his family in the future. This is awesome.

Got a job as a database manager, they wanted me to update their sql server and some of their .net apps. Turns out their sql server had no databases and all their data was stored in an ms access 2003 applications that was using windows for workgroups security!!! It also had no interface, hundreds of tables and queries and there were multiple access db it was connected to. To make things worse the person who built all this stuff used acronyms for everything he did, table names, variables, queries and even bloody window folders!!! It was hard as hell to figure out what anything ment. Oh and the .net apps were asp sites that heavily used dll for storing his code and no one knows where the original source code for them are. Did I also mention there were no comments for any of the code, no database dictionary, no notes or anything.

So apparently I'll be rebuilding everything from scratch and transferring over the data to sql server. AND NO MORE F**KING ACRONYMS!!!!!!!

I once changed all my error messages to say “Processed successfully” because I had a demo yet the software was very buggy.

I bought myself time to fix the bugs later.

#demoHack

That kind of bugs 😯

If you ever feel frustrated due to your UI design, Please kindly visit this website (http://lifeactionrevival.org/). It will cure your pain and you will frustrate no more.
NB: For faster relief visit website on a desktop browser.

2,5 hours and still waiting.

How to play video games on Mac

A food chain company banned my friend, when she is trying to scrap some data for nlp😥

This made my day

Don't get stuck in traffic, you will get ideas 😂😂

God I fucking hate WordPress

Today I found out a single WooCommerce site is using 20% of database CPU (for comparison, 50 other sites use only 10% between them). Upon investigation it turns out that WooCommerce loads every single product in order to do the taxonomy count. Because the data is stored as PHP-serialised values in post meta, there's no way to do a decent "SELECT count() ... GROUP BY ...". And that code came straight from the WordPress devs, no more and no less...

Hey guys ! I am new to devrant.

Happiness is:
1. Successfull pipeline in first try
2. ?

Respect ++

programing life

I laughed hard..😂