Give a man a program, frustrate him for a day. Teach a man how to program, frustrate him for a lifetime

It had been 13 days since I was last approached with a "great idea for an app".

Today, the counter resets to zero!

Like lifetime :/

"Give someone a program, you frustrate them for a day; teach them how to program, you frustrate them for a lifetime." - David Leinweber

Give someone a program, you frustrate them for a day; teach them how to program, you frustrate them for a lifetime. — David Leinweber

I did it; it works.

Programming is like sex.. One mistake and you're providing support for a lifetime - Michael Sinz

"Programming is like sex: one mistake and you’re providing support for a lifetime." - Michael Sinz

Linux
Time to shutdown => 3-5 sec
Time to restart => 3-5 sec

Mac
Time to shutdown => 3-5 sec
Time to restart => 3-5 sec

Windows
Time to shutdown => 15-20 sec
Time to restart => LIFETIME

Give a man a program, frustrate him for a day.

Teach a man to program, frustrate him for a lifetime.

Looks like I'm going to be here forever.. literally

I always have 50+ tabs on mobile chrome that I'm 80% sure I'm gonna read in my lifetime

Give a man an Android app and he will thank you for a day. Teach a man how to create Android app and he will curse you for a lifetime.

"Give someone a program, you frustrate them for a day; teach them how to program, you frustrate them for a lifetime." - David Leinweber

I have a lifetime membership to Lumosity. Not just do they know my time of death, but with auto renewal turned on I have confirmation of reincarnation. At least once, then existence is null.

Hell yeah 😂 Every developer once in a lifetime 🙄

„If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.“

That’s how I feel sometimes 😅

One step through the door my wife whips around, a look so disgusted she barely seems human. "What's that smell?" she cries. "It's you! You smell like...like bad code!"

Indeed, I am covered with the scent of the forbidden love child of a man who read half a chapter on if-then statements and then pushed out into the world, earthworm-like, a mangled misshapened gelatinous mass that my employer gave the title of line-of-business application purely out of pity.

For more days than I'd like to count I have been porting a ColdFusion 5 application to .NET. Initially written in 2000 and last touched in 2006, it has a data architecture comparable to Dresden after the second world war. It features a table solely comprised of seven columns of IDs so that joins can be made between other tables lacking a common key. Columns that should be contained within a single table spread out among multiple tables. Single columns containing data that should be multiple columns (with handy flags to separate the subsets). A view with 14 joins that playfully displays unintended results. And so much more spread out over almost 200 stored procedures, views, triggers, and tables on the SQL server, and dozens of additional ADO-like SQL statements within the ColdFusion itself. Fortunately, the application overcomes these issues by having absolutely no data validation while allowing nulls pretty much everywhere.

When I am done this will be a very nice ASP.NET MVC app with at least 150 less stored procs, views, and tables. Auto-generated duplicate entries will be a thing of the past. Pop-up windows that inexplicably refresh the underlying screen to display a different part of the program than the one the user wants will be eliminated. And a UI based on the colors of a Rubik's Cube with usability that Mr. Rubik would find challenging will disappear with only the trauma of using it left behind.

Sadly, this is not my worse legacy code experience. Just the most recent. Just the most recent stench added to a lifetime of bathing in code rot.

tl;dr @Root refactors some spaghetti.

I'm refactoring an api that creates a support message. It's a post route.

When seeing a magic hardcoded message string, this route instead updates the user object, and does not create a support message.

It also returns different results if the user is muted (fine) or if saving the message succeeds or fails (fine).

But if the user is creating a duplicate message, it doesn't save the message (fine) and... redirects to listing their messages instead? Wat?

Also, when refactoring this (migrating to a new message backend), I discovered that not all routes return a response. If the message is a non-duplicate, from a non-muted player, from a non-redacted client, the route doesn't respond at all!

So, I'm having fun cleaning this up. I actually am. Except I'll need to support all of the legacy clients for the next lifetime or two. I mean, really. There are still people with Android v2 devices who are using this thing. not even kidding.

One of the owners of the company I work for is teaching programming to the lady's son who cleans the office. They are poor people but with a good heart. It is so good to know that if he takes this opportunity, he could help his family in the future. This is awesome.

!Rant
I highly recommend everyone fire at least one client in your lifetime. It is a glorious feeling!

Thinking about this makes me pull my fucking hairs.

The fact that I have to look for the actual content in a website, among all the ads, prompts and fucking stupid design is fucking ridiculous.

Every fucking website is following this designs now. Always showing popups to subscribe to their fucking newsletter the moments you visit the site.

Can you please let me fucking read the content I require first?

"No fucking way. I will block 80% of the viewport with unnecessary stuff. I will place my ads on the left and right side. On the bottom, I will have a blocking div that will prompt you to subscribe to our newsletter. And on the top, we will have this huge fucking navbar which will take 30% of the view. That 20% area left in the middle? yeah, good luck on finding something useful in there"

Then there are this fucking cunts, that blocks the whole website the moment you enter.

"Oh, you need some information, right? Why not just subscribe to our emails first so that we can send your useless junks every now and then".

Oh my fucking batman, don't even remind me of those stupidass videos. Now 90% of the popular website will play a video immediately after you enter the website.

And guess what?! The volume will be amplified to 500% so that that's the sound you will ever hear in your lifetime.

The fucking web is becoming absolute shite right now. We really need a revolution here which makes the websites show the appropriate amount of ads and prevents them from doing all these stupids shits.

Idea: if I want to be successful, I need to have good habits, because I am in autopilot mode 95% of my lifetime.

Quote, I really liked - “Give a man a program, frustrate him for a day.
Teach a man to program, frustrate him for a lifetime.”

The entire reason I became a developer was so that I could one day build something that I can say has/had a handful of users, that I could build something that helped save someone's life, that helped someone in their time of need.

That reason was fulfilled when I built my only successful and proudest project during a cold night in 2011. I was 16 at the time, and here in South India, there was a major cyclone affecting a portion of our country (Chennai/Tamil Nadu). A lot of my family were in affected areas, and I didn't know what I could do being so far away (around 400kms/250mi away, in Bangalore).

I stayed up all night to build what was then known as ChennaiRains.org. It was a simple website, a directory and a safe house for everyone's information. Whoever needed help, whoever was ready to give help, whoever was volunteering their travel, their time. I didn't think it would help much. I just wanted to make a small difference.

Next morning, after the hangover of the all-nighter I pulled faded away, I see that the website went viral after a few shares on Twitter. The community was so supportive of my little project to help my family and friends. It caught a peak traffic of a million users overnight, no ads, no money made from this, I just earned the experience of a lifetime. It eventually helped a lot of people in need, connected a lot of volunteers and victims.

It has been the epitome of my life. It's the reason I still develop applications to-date, even if they are simple. Somewhere out there, someone needs it, and I want to be able to help to them :)

Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he eats for a lifetime.

Give a man teh codez, and he eats for a day. Congrats, you fed a help vampire.

Teach a man teh codez, and you open up to him the wonderful world of tabs vs spaces, dependency hell, emacs vs vim, being everybody's personal tech support, Linux vs Windows, legacy code, stack overflow, language wars, terrible documentation, functional vs oop, and arguments about what the best indentation style is. Forget about eating, production's down.

I've recently received another invitation to Google's Foobar challenges.

A while ago someone here on devRant (which I believe works at Google, and whose support I deeply appreciate) sent me a couple of links to it too. Unfortunately back then I didn't take the time to learn the programming languages (Python or Java) that Google requires for these challenges. This time I'm putting everything on Python, as it's the easiest language to learn when coming from Bash.

But at the end of the day.. I am a sysadmin, not a developer. I don't know a single thing about either of these languages. Yet I can't take these challenges as the sysadmin I am. Instead, I have to learn a new language which chances are I'll never need again outside of some HR dickhead's interview with lateral thinking questions and whiteboard programming, probably prohibited from using Google search like every sane programmer and/or sysadmin would for practical challenges that actually occur in real life.

I don't want to do that. Google is a once in a lifetime opportunity, I get that. Many people would probably even steal that foobar link from me if they could. But I don't think that for me it's the right thing to do. Google has made a serious difference by actually challenging developers with practical scenarios, and that's vastly superior to whatever a HR person at any other company could cobble together for an interview. But there's one thing that they don't seem to realize. A company like Google consists of more than just developers. Not only that, it probably consists - even within their developer circles - of more than just Python and Java developers. If any company would know about languages that are more optimized such as C, it would be Google that has to leverage this performance in order to be able to deliver their services.

I'll be frank here. Foobar has its own issues that I don't like. But if Google were a nice company, I'd go for it all the way nonetheless - after all, they are arguably the single biggest tech company in the world, and the tech industry itself is one of the biggest ones in the world nowadays. It's safe to say that there's likely no opportunity like working at Google. But I don't think it's the right thing. Even if I did know Python or Java... Even if I did. I don't like Google's business decisions.

I've recently flashed my OnePlus 6T with LineageOS. It's now completely Google-free, except for a stock Yalp account (that I'm too afraid to replace with my actual Google account because oh dear, third-party app stores, oh dear that could damage our business and has to be made highly illegal!1!). My contacts on that phone are are all gone. They're all stored on a Google server somewhere (except for some like @linuxxx' that I consciously stored on device storage and thus lost a while back), waiting for me to log back in and sync them back. I've never asked for this. If Google explicitly told me that they'd sync all my contacts to my Google account and offer feasible alternatives, I'd probably given more priority to building a CalDAV and CardDAV server of my own. Because I do have the skills and desire to maintain that myself. I don't want Google to do this for me.

Move fast and break things. I've even got a special Termux script on my home screen, aptly named Unfuck-Google-Play. Every other day I have to use it. Google Search. When I open it on my Nexus 6P, which was Google's foray into hardware and in which they failed quite spectacularly - I've even almost bent and killed it tonight, after cursing at that piece of shit every goddamn day - the Google app opens, I type some text into it.. and then it just jumps back to the beginning of whatever I was typing. A preloader of sorts. The app is a fucking web page parser, or heck probably even just an API parser. How does that in any way justify such shitty preloaders? How does that in any way justify such crappy performance on anything but the most recent flagships? I could go on about this all day... I used to run modern Linux on a 15 year old laptop, smoothly. So don't you Google tell me that a - probably trillion dollar - company can't do that shit right. When there's (commercialized) community projects like DuckDuckGo that do things a million times better than you do - yet they can't compete with you due to your shit being preloaded on every phone and tablet and impossible to remove without rooting - that you Google can't do that and a lot more. You've got fucking Google Assistant for fucks sake! Yet you can't make a decent search app - the goddamn thing that your company started with in the first place!?

I'm sorry. I'd love to work at Google and taste the diversity that this company has to offer. But there's *a lot* wrong with it at the business end too. That is something that - in that state - I don't think I want to contribute to, despite it being pretty much a lottery ticket that I've been fortunate enough to draw twice.

Maybe I should just start my own company.

Exercise devs, exercise, exercise and then exercise a little bit more

I've been coding for a long time and tbh programming is a very fiscally stale labour/hobby and even if your mind is rushing looking for answers, jumping from one place to another you are not moving that much, yes adjustable desks for programming while standing up are good and having breaks also helps but nothing like running, jumping, climbing or any sport.

During my lifetime I've seen the long and short term negative effects of sedentary jobs, back problems, liver problems, hormonal imbalance, overweight, depression, and anxiety.

I've been fiscally active for a long while but when I stopped, the first symptoms I had were weight gain, anxiety and depression, one night I even broke a tooth from stress teeth grinding.

Ive seen that people here might be having this issues and think it's normal, but try it out, start with a walk or jog sprinkled on your weekend.

I think we need a separate Internet where you get a fucking lifetime ban for mentioning chatgpt. It's like NFT thing but worse. People have verbal diarrhea. IT WRITES SHIT CODE, WE GET IT, SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY

Wife and I went to visit her grandparents and when we were at the hotel she would watch lifetime and i would code.

As for Christmas, there's nothing else to do in this town so why not code.

i genuinely like programming. it's like solving logical puzzles for me, challenges on a smaller or bigger scale, and this is fun.
i always feel this when working on something on my own, i.e. a full stack project where i take care of everything.

but i'm so sick and tired of corporate software development.
i'm tired of scrum, all these scrum meetings, it feels like they are sucking my life energy away. if at least i had the feeling that i work in a team where everybody contributes, the team work is nice and also project management is aligned.
i'm tired of having too many different tasks in too many different areas or projects and never having the feeling to be able to really concentrate on one thing, to be able to do a job well enough so that i'm content with it.
i'm tired of this feeling that what i'm working on is not meaningful. the feeling that my team is not part of a bigger story where everyone contributes their part and where there is a sense of productive collaboration between teams. the feeling that mismanagement will result in a lot of money being burned, because of work being thrown away or becoming irrelevant, or because of miscommunication, making promises that can impossibly be delivered on.
this feeling that i cannot really improve or fix the ship we are sailing with, but rather being handed a bucket and being told to constantly remove the leaking water and put it back in the ocean, but always at multiple sites of the ship all at once.
i'm tired of being the only female dev and altogether feeling so different from the rest of the team, feeling that i do not belong there.

even though i need to make a living, i just can't imagine anymore to spend so much of my lifetime for something that makes me feel so bad...

When you really want to forget java for a lifetime and uninstall it but you find a java implementation of something you've been looking for hours.

Man, what a way to start the week. Our mailserver went nuts (something about a Shellbot virus, I don't know) and we were forced to migrate to a new one. Clients calling in panic and threatening to sue us and shit. I was the one tasked to fix the problem (I am a developer mind you, my sysadmin knowledge is limited to google searching and contacting support). At the same time, Turkish hackers attacked our other server and forced me to fetch backups and clear spamming scripts. And to top it all, I was forced to answer the phone calls and respond to the threats. Man, I must have been a complete prick in my previous lifetime to deserve this.

Not entirely dev related but the year that the mass surveillance companies go away (Google, Facebook (and WhatsApp, Instagram etc), Microsoft and a few others), I'll call that the best fucking year ever.

I hope I'll get to experience that in my lifetime!

Harsh truth:

My side SaaS project made more money in its first month (built late winter last year, MVP released after ~3 weeks of development) than the sTaRtUp I work for over its total lifetime so far (built over 3+ months, MVP released in May last year)

...is it time to rage quit?

Often I have dreams of going full-time solo dev, leaving every idiotic, clueless, fumbling clown behind, but I feel like I just don't have the financial runway to do it. However, even from just a few months in 2021 while I was on the job hunt, I created some side revenue streams which I'm still receiving decent revenues from (selling courses, saas products, minor freelancing). I'm just not 100% sure if I was "lucky" during this time period, or if a few more months going at it I'd be able to scrape my way towards a meager (though livable!) income.

Give me biased views, devRant!

When you take procrastination to another level... Adding Good looking table style output with emoji in a logging script which is only to be used once in a lifetime 😁

Instead of age++, I now do lifetime--;

The story of how I got my dream job.

I was working for a company with a job I got just after graduating university. It was ok, not very exciting tech but I learned a lot by just surrounding myself with professional code monkeys. I was there for about a year when my company bought parts of another company and there was talk about people getting fired. This made me worried since I was the last one to get hired, so I started looking around for other jobs. I received this e-mail from a company saying they were looking for interns, what a coincidence! I adjusted my CV and sent it in.

--A few weeks pass--

It's Friday and I'm at a dinner party, it's 10pm and someone is calling me. I pick up and it's a recruiter from this company. I get very nervous but the alcohol helps me keep my cool, I pass the initial idiot test and they invite me for an interview. Yay!

I go to work on Monday and in a 1-on-1 and I tell my boss about the upcoming interview, he gives me a high-five :)

The interview is approaching and I'm feeling that I'm about to get sick, I refuse to believe this so I start taking a lot of medicine (painkillers, cough medicine etc.). I feel a bit better and thank the gods for medication.

--D-day--

I wake up, put on my nicest clothes and get on the train. I had one hour to spare just in case, which was well needed because the fucking train is late by 30 minutes. I'm still heavily medicated because of my ongoing fever. When I arrive I basically have to run there and somehow I manage to pick up a coffee on the way there which I devour in two seconds. I'm ready for the interview!

Some guy meets me in reception and the first thing he says is "My colleague doesn't speak our language so we'll have to speak english". This is fine, I speak good english but I was not prepared for this so it caught me off-guard and made me even more nervous. We get in and start talking. Things are going OK despite my numbed brain. I try to make eye-contact to make a good impression with the foreign engineer but he keeps staring somewhere which is making me nervous.

We get to the technical part on a whiteboard and this is where my brain decides to stop communicating. I'm presented a simple task which I'm struggling with finishing, and I feel the embarrassment coming over me. "NOOOOO THIS IS MY DREAM JOB, THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING!" I'm thinking to myself. After making myself look like a complete arsehole for some time we wrap it up and just before I step out the door I say to the engineer "You should checkout my Github page, I have lots of interesting stuff there" and he says "I'll be sure to do that" but I don't believe him.

I leave the office in fury (of myself) and make my way to the train station and even though it's the middle of the day I quickly devour two beers to calm my nerves and make me feel a bit better. I was so damn disappointed in myself, I wasted the opportunity of a lifetime! I go back home to my regular (now shitty) job.

--Two days later--

I get a call from an unknown number. I pick up the phone and it's the same recruiter guy. "So how did you think it went?" he says. "To be honest, I think it went really bad", I replied. "What? Really? Because they loved you, you got the job". (this was an obvious recruiter lie) "... wat, are you sure you called the correct person?" I said and he just laughed. The day after I quit my old job the whole department gets fired - such impeccable timing.

--A few months later--

I finish my internship and they want to keep me. I'm so happy. The engineer that was in the interview works on my team. I ask him "Why did you hire me? You know as well as I do that my interview was horrible". It turns out he _did_ look at my Github profile and that's how he knew I could write code. I also heard later that for my position there was about 2000 applicants and somehow I made the interviews.

I still work there today and I couldn't be happier (Sorry for the long text).

The company I work for offered a Javascript Course/Training for every developer to enroll, which happens to take place on 3 days. In the description it was ensured to be for everyone, doesn't matter if you are an expert or beginner: there's something to learn for everyone.

The company described him as a top coacher in Austria and that he is overbooked for 2 years. High in demand indeed. "Has to be good", I thought. As a relatively average JS developer, there has to be something to learn for me.

Sitting here the second day, I fucking regret to join this shit. I have never seen such a bullshit in my lifetime. Why the fuck would you even book this man, he doesn't even understand basic concepts of software engineering. Just reading down the script, opening the script on one laptop and showcaseing it on the other. When someone asks a question, there's a 70% chance he doesn't know the answer. It takes this scumbag 30 fucking seconds to define a function; probably making spelling mistakes alongside.

I don't even want to know how much this dude will make from this "coaching". Hoped that it'd get better over time but I don't see an improvement. Contacting my boss that I'll leave this "training".

Everytime i see someone listing a shitload of languages, i safely assume that they speak around 2-3 of them fluently. I did some c++ and can write a site in php but they are nowhere near my java knowledge, so i only list them as something i played around with. There is just no way you are fluent in c++, java and javascript because they take half a lifetime to master individually

I just realized the total size of the code we write in our lifetime is smaller than a video or movie that we can finish watching in a hour or 2....

So, it's time to fucking rant!

Location: A small startup where direct contact with C-Level members is frequent.

A while back we had a customer using our SaaS product who had gripes about the way it worked.

He contacted our CEO and made a bunch of claims based on bad assumptions.

In the end, he wanted all images removed from his site. I was pulled aside by the CEO and asked if I could handle this for him and make a new screen for them without images.

So I did. I tried to discuss and get deeper into the problem by saying "this seems like a symptom of a problem and not the actual problem. What do you think?" He responded with "That was his request so it must be the problem if it won't take long then let's fix it for him.

- a week later

The problem is fixed and in the wild. No more images. Now he has another request :/

He does not like the pagination on his site. He says " I shouldn't have to click a button when I scroll so I want the be able to scroll and see all my products!"

This time the CEO asks me if this can easily be done and I take him aside and say "no, this will be a big change to our system and will need to be discussed with the team."

The main point I make is that we should go down and spend some time with this customer to find out what the real problem is.

After a half hour of discussion about the real issue he decided to bring in the CTO.

In the end, we implemented infinite scroll, dropping our current product building tasks to service one customer (yeah, it's a bad scene). But we got infinite scroll built and shipped.

- 2 Weeks later

This time he demands that infinite scroll isn't good enough. "If I scroll fast then I have to wait for them to load, they should all load at once!"

This time I have had enough. I can see the CEO is coming over to me to as me how much work is in this. I tell him there are 3 things I have to say...

1. I'm going to implement exactly what he asked by the end of the day.
2. We will only release it to him because it is going to be a shit-show loading everything at once, the load times will be mental!
3. We should fire this customer, right now.

So, I built it. Customer hated it (of course, who the fuck wants to wait 30s for loading. That's basically a lifetime). We changed it back and he was still mad.

- 2 weeks later

Customer leaves. Good riddance.

- sometime later

I am in the customer's store on a road trip. I get a feel for how their store works and they have a different system for making things operate.

It turns out that they did not know what the real problem was. They actually needed a completely different system (from a UX perspective) for accessing their data.

To top it all off, the system would have taken less time to build than the shitty fixes we made over weeks of work. FFS

I guess the moral of the rant is to find the problem, not a symptom of the problem.

YOU. If you can't be arsed to change the default wallpaper, the terminal/gtk theme on a fucking laptop you use everyday, turn off Intel graphics screen rotation shortcuts, move the taskbar somewhere, install a Vue.js/Augury (Angular tool) Chrome plugin so you can actually debug stuff, Git for Windows or even this fucking trash of a player that is VLC, comb your hair the other way for once in your fucking lifetime if you have it, buy a different shirt than the same one you already have, fucking anything at all - fuck you!
BTW Don't be surprised when I don't take your fucking advice about the layout of the site I'm working on.

Also I secretly FUCKING HATE YOU just because.
Nothing personal kiddo. Except it is.

Fucking go out there and make the world around more suited to your tastes, every fucking human has them! Just change the fucking wallpaper, so I'll know you have at least a little bit of fucking personality in you! Slap a pic of some hi-rez tits on that screen! ANYTHING AT ALL.

Whew. That's been brewing in me for a long time.
A motivational doggo for you lads.

Acquaintance of mine brags that he made a "Facebook password cracker" that took less than 30 lines of code.

I take a look at it, then I realize it's brute force password cracking.

Oh dear.

Facebook doesn't even let you do that many password attempts, not to mention that brute forcing passwords is going to take more time than the expected lifetime of the sun. (exaggeration? Maybe. But you get my point.)

Why are we still here? Just to suffer?

unbelievable how much lifetime i already wasted and are wasting yet finding a desktop wallpaper to my liking

is it just me or can anybody relate?

THE TALE OF THE CRAZED VISIONNAIRE

Once upon a time some masochist woke up and snorted a gallon of glue. "I NEED PAIN", he shouted, and then proceeded to hammer down his own cock over an iron anvil, in an effort to uncover the most intense pain a human could experience. And yet even such a punishment was not enough, for our pain-starved hero thirsted for even higher heights. "This hammering can't satisfy my spirit", he proclaimed; "I shall find ever greater pain than what little solace these tools can provide, but it's much too hard a task for a single mortal to complete in one lifetime. And lo, I will gather around me the bravest and uncover the intense sorrow no human has ever experienced before!". And for his journey he found himself a loyal fellowship, all striving to find the ultimate pain a mortal can experience.

"But who could be crazy enough to follow a glue-fueled schizo who hammers their own genitals?", you might stupidly ask. But why, the JS community of course.

I just hope no parents will see this week's rants in their lifetime.

Guys seriously why would you buy a macbook if apple will support it for like 7 years then you won't be able to upgrade to newer OSX versions? whereas a good laptop machine could run Linux for a lifetime, you could even change distros if you got bored.

Let me dive into it, If I buy a brand new macbook and use it rarely, its condition will barely change however one day I will get the message you need a greater version to install X app, seriously apple?

Real life scenario: I have an ipod touch 5 i rarely use it, one day i decided to install an application and boom no you can't buddy you need to upgrade the iOS however the currently version of iOS is the latest version i could get for that ipod touch model, so the thing is, I have a perfect condition product that is unusable unless for some music playing and what i already installed as apps, does it look fair to you? I have the same issue with an ipad mini, its condition is perfect, battery life is decent, I can't receive anymore updates, the youtube app stopped working, im stuck again with a product that i can use only to read some ebooks or use youtube through the browser, apple wants me to buy a new ipad which is absurd.

I will never buy an apple product again

Fuck you Apple

Okay I just wasted 1h of my lifetime trying to fix a css bug which was caused because the actual classname was 'itemWrapper' instead of 'item-wrapper'. I might just kill myself at this point. I swear to fucking god I end up calling a suicide prevention hotline everytime I have to do shit in css.

So, I'm the only developer in a marketing firm. I was asked to develop the company website. The deadline was within a month. A full on CMS. When I was interviewed I told them that I'm more fluent in back-end development rather than UI design etc. So the company's designer started designing the website. Incomplete designs were given to me one week before the due date. I'm a fresh grad so I'm relatively new. So I used a website builder knowing that I can't code the whole CMS within a week. I asked them which they gave approval to knowing it was $16 a month.
I started making it using webflow. 2 pages in, I asked them to pay for the subscription because webflow allows 2-3 pages for the free version. When the time to pay came, they were like, "wow, $16? That's a lot every month for just a website". Keep in mind, it's not that they don't have the money. Just cheap. This was like 5 days before the deadline and they said it's too expensive and asked me to code everything by myself. And gave an extension for a few months.
I said okay and started development. I said we would still need to spend on a cloud instance for deployment which would be like $6 monthly. My manager asked me is there a way to not pay monthly and pay like $100 and get one for lifetime. I facepalmed so hard. I tried explaining to him cloud-server costs are either monthly/yearly or pay-per-use basis. He told me maybe because I'm new I don't know and go to do some research on it. I researched and the only solution was to buy a server which costs $100++ monthly. I sent him the costs in a document which he did not even bother to read.

That was back in November last year. Fast forward to February. I've coded the website thrice. The design keeps changing every week. The design is still not complete. And they are saying I'm not eligible for a promotion because the website is still not done. It pisses me the fuck off. It's not my fault it's not done. The designers haven't done the design, the manager can't decide on shit. I'm just here because it's my first job out of uni and I thought it might be a good experience, but honestly right now the way they are treating me it pisses me off.

There's simply not enough time in a lifetime to master everything one would like to master. And it's even worse in technology, where by the time you're getting close to being good at something, a newer technology is pushing already to replace that one. WTF!?

No need to think small when you have eternity to work with. Right now I am building a network operating system, something I've started around 2 years ago. I expect to have an installable and more or less usable system in maybe a few more years.

When I would have an eternity to work with, I'd first look to make our planet redundant. It's insane to imagine that we only have this blue marble to work with, while we have a fireball of hell as a neighbor in our cosmic neighborhood. What even happened there? I'd like to find out. Granted Musk is already figuring out Mars, and he has the money for it while I don't. I don't like the man all that much (too much marketing wank) but hey, at least he's got us covered there.

Maybe one day we could live forever. Maybe we could map and upload our minds. Maybe we could replace our entire body with synthetic components when the frail meat-based components inevitably fail. Perhaps it could even happen in our lifetime, at the pace technology is progressing at. If and when that happens, sign me up!

Everybody is criticizing Microsoft for leaving too much legacy code in Windows, etc., but let me tell you that I prefer 100% that and have lifetime backward compatibility than having to deal with Google bullshit.

Google sucks ass.
It's one of the most dev unfriendly company on this planet (along with Facebook).

You can't fucking change BASIC stuff in Android SDK every fucking version.
You just can't!

You can't use a system of "PERMISSIONS" each developer has to set in its application and each user has to accept during the installation, that a few versions later become USELESS... because "Hmmm… no, It's not enough, let's make a new privileged permission that makes the old one fucking worthless".

YOU FUCKING, TOXIC, BASTARDS.

It's my app, my code, my device, my fucking conditions. If I want to install viruses on my device, I should be able to do it.
I shouldn't have to call fucking Sundar fucking Pichai fucking CEO of fucking GOOGLE.

USERS != BABIES.
DEVS != CRIMINALS

We are the reason you have a fucking job, fucking food on your fucking table.

I want a fucking GOD_MODE permission in the next SDK, assholes!

You can't REMOVE fucking "Android.OS.getSerial()" making it only for system apps.
It's not sensible data… and if It's in your opinion, you've already created a "android.permission.READ_PHONE_STATE", so what else do you want, fucking asshole?
Right, you want to introduce "android.permission.READ_PRIVILIGED_PHONE_STATE" to make obsolete the other one, son of a bitch!

I don't fucking use you're garbage Google Play Store, no worries! I won't upload my app on your servers, bitch!

They've created a monopoly in the industrial space (PDAs) and they keep making fucking wrong decisions every single year.

My job is already stressful, why you can't just stop making it worse? fml

#confession

I don't know what you guys think but I freaking love programming my own Minecraft client. It sounds childish but I love to see server owners rage when they see their Servers dying because of my exploits. It's a good feeling.

But I got 3 DOS attacks afterwards so there is a high risk to make lifetime enemy's.

Let us all post our dark side of knowledge and the shit we have done to amuse ourselves!

What's the longest lifetime of one of your applications where you did a significant portion of the implementation?

I just got a warning message out of the blue from one of mine. It was written in 2005/2006 several employers ago and still going strong!

A taxi booking platform to support functioning B2B taxing booking company that was turning over 15 million per year.

It offered portals for B2B and B2C. Rather simple concept.

Business or client raise a booking, booking is submitted to a 3rd party taxi firm we manage the booking throughout its lifetime for the client.

We had an existing legacy product in place that needed redeveloping.

Management sunk many, many millions of pounds into the project, it never lunch and teh company was sold off twice will extreme losses each time. First sale was in the millions and the second was for 500k.

This was a result of poor technical choices made by past lead developers and extremely poor choice of management who cared more for managing their reputation as they were self aware of how much knowledge they lacked.

The technical aspect of the company was created a child company of the parent. This child company was responsible for the downfall of the parent which was functioning well and making a profit.

The company as a whole has since been liquidated thanks to that project. Many out of a job.

I jumped ship after 8 months as I couldn't continue to work with the crazy management. By crazy I mean they should have been in a tincan.

No Fucking way am i gonna work 40 more years for $8.125 an hour. Fuck off. Thats $624,000 EARNED OVER MY ENTIRE LIFETIME

Literally everyone in this corporate industry can get fucked. I have to escape this trashhole rat race. No other option for me

Do not touch Salesforce.

Especially Salesforce Marketing Cloud.

It is a fucking joke this product even exists. Buy Hubspot instead. Marketing Cloud is the single worst piece of software I have had to implement out of 4 years working in software and a lifetime working in tech.

Literally nothing works. You click a button and bam, nothing. The UI actively lies to the user. Nothing is guaranteed to work and support is some guy in India who shrugs his shoulders and walks away. Things will randomly break and warning messages are tiny, indecipherable babble that mean nothing.

If you are dev, walk away. If you are a potential customer, walk away. This company DESERVES a bad reputation for the absolute heap of dogshit that is Marketing Cloud.

The worst part is that it's likely going to affect my job and my career because of how fucking dogshit it is.

Fuck Salesforce in case the messaging isn't clear.

I've been using the Square REST API and I spent one hour thinking there was something wrong in my code until I f** found that THEY were not following OAuth 2 guidelines, which made their workflow incompatible with the OAuth lib I was using, so I had to mark an exception for Square's OAuth from the rest of my OAuths. Specifically, RFC 6749 Section 4.2.2 and 5.1.

However, after reading OAuth 2 guidelines, I became angry at THEM instead. The parameter `expires_in` should be the "lifetime in seconds" after the response. This will always be innevitably inaccurate, since we are not taking into account the latency of the response. This is, however, not a huge problem, since the shortest token lifetimes are of an hour (like f** Microsoft Active Directory, who my cron jobs have to check every ten minutes for new access tokens). Many workflows (like Microsoft, Square, and Python's oauthlib) have opted to add the `expires_at` parameter to be more precise, which marks the time in UTC. However, there's no convention about this. oauthlib and Microsoft send the time in Unix seconds, but Square does this in ISO 8601. At this point, ISO 8601 is less ambigious. Sending a raw integer seems ambiguous. For example, JavaScript interprets integer time as Unix _milliseconds_, but Python's time library interprets it as _seconds_. It's just a matter of convention, a convention that is not there yet.

Hope this all gets solved in OAuth 2.1 pleeeaasseee

I - Lets move your database to mlab. They offer 512mb database for free, every month. That is beyond your lifetime usage

Client - No. They Steal Data ( Like Facebook )

And client don't know a shit about mlab and development. Aware of quite a few names, bigrock, godaddy, bluehost. Even AWS is not in the list

- mlab is mongodb database service

I am so fucking lost.

I literally have zero expectations from life for now and future.

There was a time when I had so much clarity in my life. Rather, I was known for it.
Folks used to reach me out for guidance and my approaches even worked for others.

I was goal oriented and biased towards action. Failing and learning from it, I used to make things happen and with constant feedback kept progressing.

While none of that has changed, I still feel lost and numb. No, I am not depressed or suffering through any mental illness. I am physical active and able to feel the happiness.

But the recent incident with a narcissistic, left me emotionally handicap. I can no longer feel any kind of love or affection. I overcame the damage done and healed myself.

But now, I am done. Even if I engage with anyone for a relationship it would be mostly for sex. I can care for people around me and be affectionate towards them but when it comes to an intimate relationship, I feel it's not something I can do in this lifetime. I tried multiple times but failed.

These days, all I am doing is putting my heads down and working like crazy. Never in my life I worked more than 10 hours in an entire week. Now, I work 10+ hours everyday. During that time, I am highly productive.

And in my free time, I am busy housekeeping different life problems. Either paying bills, figuring out an insurance, planning some investment, or making some kind of life decision.

It's draining me. I feel as if I am losing sanity. But that's the only thing I am able to do.

Maybe it's the lockdown effect. Maybe some damage is yet to be healed.

But I got nothing better to do. I have some good ideas. Not those hipster-ish disruptive Million dollar ideas, but decent enough to solve a problem for a strong use case.

However, all of this is becoming overwhelming these days. Because decision making is complex and difficult task. It can make or break the future.

As of now I am confused how should I go about pursuing two of the important projects that I want to accomplish.

1. Migrating out of Google ecosystem. Is it even practically possible for my use case? What are the alternatives? Planning to opt in for a paid cloud storage so have to factor in that aspect as well.

I want to keep this new setup only for official use like bank and government stuff. Maybe family and close friends. Then have current ids for public logins and sharing it with retards whom I can block or ignore if they harass me. The research is overwhelming but having a structured setup gives insane amount of efficiency when life is spam free.

2. Migrating my Pihole and OpenVPN setup out of Digital Ocean to GCP. Primarily because $5 is a lot of amount for my computational requirements and Google has used my data enough, for me to use the free tier.
However, there isn't a simple script for a tech noob like me, to go ahead and setup something. I did find a Github repository but the documentation is kind of outdated so RTFM failed for me.

I don't know whether to pursue my start-up or let it go and focus on moving to Europe.

It's just so fucking stupid to even exist. And let's not forget taxes. Bloody taxes.

Got my first job and was given the temporare title programmer.
He said I could choose any title (with some relevance). Opportunity of a lifetime, any suggestions?

I will be doing some deep learning, UI, general front-end and visualizations

Is it just me or is this wk32 stuff the most used of all devrant lifetime?

During one of our visits at Konza City, Machakos county in Kenya, my team and I encountered a big problem accessing to viable water. Most times we enquired for water, we were handed a bottle of bought water. This for a day or few days would be affordable for some, but for a lifetime of a middle income person, it will be way too much expensive. Of ten people we encountered 8 complained of a proper mechanism to access to viable water. This to us was a very demanding problem, that needed to be sorted out immediately. Majority of the people were unable to conduct income generating activities such as farming because of the nature of the kind of water and its scarcity as well.
Such a scenario demands for an immediate way to solve this problem. Various ways have been put into practice to ensure sustainability of water conservation and management. However most of them have been futile on the aspect of sustainability. As part of our research we also considered to check out of the formal mechanisms put in place to ensure proper acquisition of water, and one of them we saw was tree planting, which was not sustainable at all, also some few piped water was being transported very long distances from the destinations, this however did not solve the immediate needs of the people.We found out that the area has a large body mass of salty water which was not viable for them to conduct any constructive activity. This was hint enough to help us find a way to curb this demanding challenge. Presence of salty water was the first step of our solution.

SOLUTION

We came up with an IOT based system to help curb this problem. Our system entails purification of the salty water through electrolysis, the device is places at an area where the body mass of water is located, it drills for a suitable depth and allow the salty water to flow into it. Various sets of tanks and valves are situated next to it, these tanks acts as to contain the salty water temporarily. A high power source is then connected to each tank, this enable the separation of Chlorine ions from Hydrogen Ions by electrolysis through electrolysis, salt is then separated and allowed to flow from the lower chamber of the tanks, allowing clean water to from to the preceding tanks, the preceding tanks contains various chemicals to remove any remaining impurities. The whole entire process is managed by the action of sensors. Water alkalinity, turbidity and ph are monitored and relayed onto a mobile phone, this then follows a predictive analysis of the data history stored then makes up a decision to increase flow of water in the valves or to decrease its flow. This being a hot prone area, we opted to maximize harnessing of power through solar power, this power availability is almost perfect to provide us with at least 440V constant supply to facilitate faster electrolysis of the salty water.
Being a drought prone area, it was key that the outlet water should be cold and comfortable for consumers to use, so we also coupled our output chamber with cooling tanks, these tanks are managed via our mobile application, the information relayed from it in terms of temperature and humidity are sent to it. This information is key in helping us produce water at optimum states, enabling us to fully manage supply and input of the water from the water bodies.
By the use of natural language processing, we are able to automatically control flow and feeing of the valves to and fro using Voice, one could say “The output water is too hot”, and the system would respond by increasing the speed of the fans and making the tanks provide very cold water. Additional to this system, we have prepared short video tutorials and documents enlighting people on how to conserve water and maintain the optimum state of the green economy.
IBM/OPEN SOURCE TECHNOLOGIES
For a start, we have implemented our project using esp8266 microcontrollers, sensors, transducers and low payload containers to demonstrate our project. Previously we have used Google’s firebase cloud platform to ensure realtimeness of data to-and-fro relay to the mobile. This has proven workable for most cases, whether on a small scale or large scale, however we meet challenges such as change in the fingerprint keys that renders our device not workable, we intend to overcome this problem by moving to IBM bluemix platform.
We use C++ Programming language for our microcontrollers and sensor communication, in some cases we use Python programming language to process neuro-networks for our microcontrollers.

Any feedback conserning this project please?

TIL that javascript was named so to leech of the popularity of java. This clears a lifetime of confusion thanks.

src: O'Reilly learning PHP, MYSQL and JS

Rediscovering the wonderful Devrant community and reading through old rants. So much fun to see where I was just a few years ago and where I am now. Feels like a lifetime ago. Glad to be back!

Give someone a program, you frustrate them for a day; teach them how to program, you frustrate them for a lifetime.

Entering Week4 post-layoff. Week2 of pretty much nothing but playing with my kids, doing house chores, exercising and job searching.

I spent like 3 hours in the gym last Friday. Instructor there turned to me and said "tough divorce?". To what I answered "very happily married, got laid off from work". He said that it would be his second guess.

Even before this whole crap I had enough cash flow-yielding investments to just about make rent. My wife makes enough to make sure we will want for nothing, our old folks have our kids' tuition fees covered, and we have some savings anyway.
But the anxiety-laden period between "send a dozen messages and resumė's" and having the same "greetings, fellow millenial!" meetings with different sets of tech-illiterate boomers and toddlers is becoming a boring nuisance, one that "having a side project to keep my mind warm" could solve.

Maybe I will fix the Stardew Valley Mods API for Android. I haven't done the C#/.NET thing since uni, and my frontend Java game is weak (at best) but how much could have it changed this last decade or so? /s

Maybe I will write a MongoDB Runner for Apache Beam. But I'm afraid that won't yeld enough street cred to be worth it Does anyone knows what it means?

Maybe I will finally be done consolidating a lifetime of cloud storage into a big-kid glacier-level LTS solution.

Dunno, bored here. Need some 20h/week project I can quit as soon as some job appears to be lining up. Ideas?

Let me begin by saying I knew the jist of the announcment before even reading the CeO's LeTteR... though it's comically and ironically far worse than I could have even expected

this is absolutely an 100% genuine rant from the bottom of my heart

Just go absolutely fuck yourself, your devs, and your entire org. Imma call it right now and say Udemy as a company won't be around in a mere 10 years. (easy to say this actually; the average lifetime of a company in general on the stock market is 18 years, with a garbage shit pile like Udemy i can guarantee its less than that)

oh, but their stock was up 38% on friday on good earnings... wonder how they did that

"But why!?!?!? Why are all creators going to tiktok and youtube?!?!?" - Udemy CEO mouthbreather

stupid fuck, maybe take a lesson from a 1st grader and get educated

people think devs are bad? Oh, its about to get a whole lot worse. there's no motivation anymore for skilled devs to build valuable courses, more and more junior devs using outdated spit out shit information from IdiotGPT, and a destruction of number of people on stackoverflow, asking the same 10 questions over and over again...

oh how the times have changed...

What I'm doing now, writing a JS library for a simple kitchen timer (like, something that can be wound up, is ticking, can be paused, etc). Here's a list of neat stuff I've learned:

Polyfilling as a lib author (I decided against it).
Packaging the lib (using Rollup, ES6 modules are totes cool).
Using flow to add static typing in strategic places (started appreciating types in JS since reading up on functional programming).
Modelling state and transitions using an explicit state machine. (Fucking finally. There's usually an implicit state machine somewhere, only spread out all over the app...)
Using mostly side-effect free methods, being very explicit about when and why things are mutated).
Test-first/TDD (ish) using Jest and the awesome Wallabyjs.
Freeing up mental capacity by letting Prettier format my code for me (it was hard to let go but totally worth it).
Started using git.

Did all work on Ubuntu after pretty much a lifetime of Windows (initially to separate work from gaming) and finally swapped MS Visual Studio for Atom.

When it's finished I'm going to publish it on GitHub, which will also be a first for me. Might try out some CI platform while I'm at it.

tl;dr: wrote some js, felt good

Corporate treating promotions as a "once-in-a-lifetime" "extravagant" "life-changing" "spectacular" event is exactly why the tech sector ain't leveling up.

Microspyoft decided to retire Atom IDE, what a bullshit company, if you check their asses you will find them stinky as garbage because they only use toilet paper, I started to stop using their shit, any basic solution they offer to you that you might think 'Oh, that's the solution to rely on for a lifetime ' no man hold your excitements cause they are going to fuck your brain later, same as they will do with Windows10, suddenly the bunch of lazy asses decided 'actually let's create windows11, and stop supporting windows10 by 2025' Go to fuck yourselves bitches, I stopped using all your shit.

The day I understand how CSS works will be a lifetime achievement...!!!
Having hard time when you have to design and develop a website at a time... I just hate designing... (No offense.. personal opinion)

another windows 10 FORCE UPDATE just messed up my whole system. My mouse is not working properly, every app is become unresponsive within a few minutes, every window is needing life time to load, every folder is needing lifetime to navigate, Android Studio is taking hours to fire up. Why Microsoft!! WHY!!!???

Remove a users virus, save them for a day. Teach a user to Google error messages, save them from a lifetime of viruses.

Lifetime specifiers.
I think it's impossible to make them look even more confusing.

Yeah sex is cool and all but have you ever solved a stupid complex lifetime problem in Rust?

The school I went to, and this was really the only benefit of the school, gave all it students lifetime memberships to digital tutors, which was bought out by pluralsight, which then bought code School. So I basically got free membership to three different sites, all of which have a good amount of technical training with videos, guides, and work along lessons on them.

For what school cost to me, it will have paid for itself as long as I live for another Thousand Years.

Just imagination but, if infinite money and resource was present (and if this was hypothetically possible)...

A machine that is able to replicate ONLY one portion of the brain thinking activity and produce a version of a robot with that thinking capacity. This would be unique per person, and licensed in a way so that the owner of the robot is only able to use and control it. (I'm saying only one thinking capability should be allowed as a robot should never replace a person ideally.)

This would mean that the person is able to increase efficiency as the robot could be set to resume activities in the period that the person can't (i.e. sleeping).

One example of using this scenario could be that the person chooses to create a robot by replicating their coding thinking capabilities. This would mean the robot doesn't do much but has the same thinking ability to code as the owner. The robot could be used when the owner is sleeping or on holiday. As the thinking capacity is the same, the code logic would be the same as when the owner would have wrote it.

This would be a DREAM project to work on.

But alas... This isn't happening anytime soon in my lifetime (or ever realistically).

Unemployment week one.
Tired of unsuccessful HR and engineering talks with people who don’t know what they want.

When you answer their questions they got pissed because they had something else in mind. Sorry I don’t read in people’s minds asshole.

Others try to be smart and give you some fancy acronyms. Yeah because that’s most important in coding - to memorize useless acronyms.
I responded with acronyms I know and they got pissed more cause my are more funny and cover all of theirs. Thanks KISS 💋

Some of them are like I am fucking smartest asshole on this video chat and you can’t have been working with all of those technologies, yeah I just typed hello world for 15 years in one language and stupid /REST shitty software like you do it in your one job in your lifetime.

Others are asking for cv, talking about this fancy great project that in fact you know how it will look like cause you’re experienced motherfucker who can pick up nuisance but still lets get hired first and then think what to do next with this shitty crap. So they respond after two weeks that client changed their mind and if you want to fill some quiz about your hiring process.

There are also ones that got impressed so much they’re talking 1 hour that you will be our next cto and then ending process with email that there were better candidates and also post same offer on job board next day 🤦‍♂️

I think I just skip this shitty nightmare and concentrate on some personal project until I spend all my savings.

I just need to concentrate on one thing and not get distracted with 1000s of voices shouting “pick me” in my head.

Fuuuuuuck
If you got offended fuck you unless you like it.

After working in one project in a big happy days bubble without distraction for couple of years I underestimated how fucked up people are in real world.
We’re making hell by ourselves on this planet we don’t need much help.

If(DateRightNow == 16/07/2018)
{
Age++;
LifeTime--;
}
Else
{
NoRealizationThatEverydayLifeTimeDecreses;
}

When you're programming teacher manages to make the lessons so boring and long winded that every student with the slightest interest in programming loses it 😰

So IBM finally jettisoned the cancer that was Virginia Rometty a few weeks back. They had an opportunity to move fresh blood and solid managerial background into the top slot with Jim Whitehurst (Redhat) and try and recover their flagging market share and do some sane business strategy. They passed on that opportunity and instead appointed the old guard bootlicker who overpaid for Redhat to the tune of 20x what it was worth, and signalled their intent to continue staying the course of the Titanic and it's slow inevitable trek towards the bottom of the ocean. The board wants a yes man, and they got one.

This is basically what I assumed would happen, but I have some other predications as well:

- Whitehurst will leave to a better company
- the redhatters that haven't already left will be replaced with commodity labor
- Redhat will be the least stable Linux offering 2 years after the last hatter leaves
- they will sell off most of their existing software assets to HCL/ similar consulting partners like they did with domino and websphere to stem the bleed
- the displaced in that move will either quit or be replaced
- their cloud initiative will collapse under the weight of its own stagnation and glacial pace of development
- they will attempt to salve these wounds by moving focus to global services, reducing profit loss by cutting salary costs, further diluting their eroding ability to innovate
- they'll buy at least one other trendy software company at ridiculous valuation, and sell it off within 2 years at a massive loss
- the CEO slot will start to resemble the late Roman empire with a new CEO every other week
- Redhat assets will be sold to Google inside of 5 years

Last prediction: I will be overjoyed being able to witness the death of IBM in my lifetime. Fuck them 🍻

Honestly, school is useless for me as of right now. I know I should be well rounded and stuff, but do I honestly need to know the symptoms of cervix cancer while going into a tech career? My eyes have been set on tech for my whole life, ever since I left the womb, and I know that if I do switch careers, it'll be from comp sci to cyber security not from IT to med school...

I feel like I could really be devoting my time towards something better than writing a 5 page essay on a healthy food choice.

Every night I think to myself, "You know what, I'm going to lock myself in a room and write bash scripts all day" but then I wake up in the morning, and remember I have to take a quiz on reproductive systems, learn about the procedure of organ donations for driver's ed, write 2 paragraph definitions of vocab words, and read a book about communism.

The most useful thing I learned last year, was how to efficiently navigate the java API, and that's something you don't even learn, you just encounter it. Schools need to start having more specific specialties and stop enforcing knowledge of pointless topics.

I'm not saying to remove all core classes and stuff, I'm saying why waste space in our brains with something we won't use ever again? I get it, some people don't know what career they're looking for yet so you can't make them choose, but it honestly sucks some serious ass that I can't learn what I want to at school, and as a matter of fact, I can't even learn at home, because they're filling my schedule with pointless work because they feel that they have to fill our time somehow.

Point of this long ass rant is: Why lock yourself in a room and learn about something if it isn't something you want to learn about? The space in our brain is finite enough, why can't it be filled with things we're interested in rather than things that will only be used to get good grades in the future then overwritten with useful knowledge. Same thing with time. We have a very finite amount of time in a day, and now that I think of it, a lifetime. Why spend it on something that doesn't, and never will, make your life enjoyable?

Imagine a web way ahead of our time where its size goes beyond our imagination...

This is my first rant, and I'll cut to the chase! I don't like how web currently stands. Here's what makes me angry the most altough I know there's a myriad of solutions or workarounds:

- A gazillion credentials/accounts/services in your lifetime.

- Everyone tries to reinvent the wheel.

- There's no single source of truth.

- Why the fuck there's so much design in a vision that started as a network of documents? Why is it that we need to spend time and energy to absorb the page design before we can read what we are after?

- What's up with the JS front end frameworks?! MB's of code I need to download on every page I visit and the worse is the evaluation/parsing of it. Talk about acessibility and the energy bills. I don't freaking need a SPA just give a 20-50ms page load and I'm good to go!

- I understand that there's a whole market based on it but do we really need all that developer tools and services?

- Where's our privacy by the way? Why the fuck do I need ads? Can't I have a clue about what I wan't to buy?

Sticking with this points for now... Got plenty more to discuss though.

What I would like to see:

A unique account where i can subscribe services/forums/whatever. No credentials. Credentials should be on your hardware or OS. Desktop Browser and mobile versions sync everything seemlesly. Something like OpenID.

Each person has his account and a profile associated where I share only what I want with whom I want when I want to.

Sharing stuff individually with someone is easy and secure.

There's no more email system like we know. Email should be just email like it started to be. Why the hell are we allowing companies to send us so much freaking "look at me now, we are awesome", "hey hey buy from me".. Here's an idea, only humans should send emails. Any new email address that sends you an email automatically requests your "permission" to communicate with you. Like a friend request.

Oh by the way did I tell you that static mail is too old for us? What we need is dynamic email. Editing documents on the fly, together, realtime, on the freaking email. Better than mail, slack and google docs combined.

In order for that to work reasonably well, the individual "letter" communication would have to be revamped in a new modern approach.

What about the single source of truth I talked about? Well heres what we should do. Wikipedia (community) and Larry Page (concept) gave us tremendous help. We just need to do better now.

Take the spirit of wikipedia and the discoverability that a good search engine provides us and amp that to a bigger scale. A global encyclopedia about everything known to mankind. Content could be curated from us all just like a true a network.

In this new web, new browser or whatever needed to make this happen I could save whatever I want, notes, files, pictures... and have it as I left it from device to device.

Oh please make web simple again, not easy just simple and bigger.

I'm not old by the way and I don't see a problem with being older btw.

Those are just my stupid rants and ideas. They are worth nothing. What I know for sure is that I'll do something about or fail trying to.

I live in Asia, where Pinkerton Syndrome is rampant amongst the professional workforce.

I've been approached by local recruiters who love tossing the company's country of origin (usually a developed nation from the European continent) in the first sentence of an email, and beseech me to call them back ASAP, or lose the opportunity of a lifetime.

I also get condescending emails from Caucasian 'CEO/Director' (no offence meant, I know the entire demographic is never represented by sub-samples) looking to pay below average rates.

Is getting difficult to be civil with these morons.

Am I a hack? Like yeah I complain about technology left right and center, this sucks, that sucks, what fucking moron wrote this?! These days I do write my own alternatives (which usually work surprisingly well). But for what? And was I really in a position to complain about those other things? Impostor syndrome, it's so annoying...

Oh and also, is it really all worth it? I like retro tech and so I do have a fair interest in the history of technology. Say between VHS and Beta, sure VHS was superior in practice and won the video cassette war, but Beta machines were seemingly better constructed. VHS won because it did just enough. Perhaps the same is true for software? Overengineering, is it poor engineering?

Anyone can build a bridge if the budget is unlimited and it can take a lifetime to construct. But part of engineering is making a bridge that'll just barely stand and be finished in a few years. I've been working on my own Linux distro since August last year and am not even close to finishing it. Chances are that it'll take several years. Perhaps I've been looking at the problem the wrong way all along?

When your week has been so stressful... you just want to curl up in the corner and cry.

Murphy's law is taking me for a ride of a lifetime right now, and just when you start seeing light at the end of the tunnel, it's just a lightbulb and another dead end.

F£~*{*}£{*\€|>\€\£~£¥\\*£,'%]#]}[#>\£|¥|+>]£\€£|€|!{¥]*$;&,!:@&;&939/);$$CK!!!!

Glad I could get that off my chest 😆

you know, i've got 5K+ in cash savings before i would even need to dip into "long term" retirement funds

and other than the food and the drink, i don't spend anything (can scrape by on 1-2K per month)

so fuck it, i'm going to enjoy the amazing weather that is everywhere in europe right now

if companies are going to be assholes, i am too

because in the long run i know my skills and vast competances are valuable

companies can hire the cheap clueless scrub in the shortrun

but i know i'll win in the long run when they realize who they are trying to hire does not exist

what's even one year of being unemployed against a lifetime of opportunity and projects? nothing.

I wrote a blogging platform around 3.5yrs back in PHP. My friend uses that, and apparently wants me to update the code. To which I refused saying that I am too busy. But the real reason is that it is one of the purest form of cancerous shit I ever wrote. I can't even look at that code now. Its like abandoning your own child, because it is too ugly... Here's a snapshot of the code, I don't even know what this does anymore..

Moral: Don't give your code to your friend no matter how shitty it is, you will end up providing lifetime support for it.

"Changing your country or region will cancel any automatically renewing subscriptions."

This from a company that makes more per hour than any of us will make in our entire lifetime.

Welcome to the ultimate 🤡🌎 . You are in my domain now.

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Alright fellow sweaty programmers, mama Kiki is here to teach you the basics of hygiene.

TEETH
- If you have a toothpaste prescription, use it.
- Every single whitening toothpaste is a scam. Don’t use them.
- Every single over-the-counter toothpaste that decreases sensitivity does work. If your teeth are sensitive, use it.
- Otherwise, buy the cheapest name-brand toothpaste.
- Use dental floss. As long as it’s flat and waxed, the cheapest one will do.
- When flossing, never move the floss back and forth as if you try to saw through your gums. Just put the floss in, then out. Repeat if necessary.
- Don’t put your toothpaste on your toothbrush. Put a small amount of it directly in your mouth with a bit of water. Close your mouth and spread toothpaste all over your teeth using a rinsing motion, as if it was mouthwash. Now your teeth are completely covered.
- When brushing teeth, don’t use -90°/0°/90° angles. Use -35°/35°. This way you will spend less time while getting better cleansing. Bristle ends should touch where your teeth meet your gums.
- Get yourself a tongue scrubber. Scrub your tongue until what comes off of it is clean. Dirty tongue is why your breath smells bad, not dirty teeth.
- After you’re done, don’t rinse! Spit the toothpaste out, but let its residue stay there. The remineralization process is now started. If you follow the routine, you don’t need mouthwash at all.
- Drinking/eating sugary things, not washing your teeth and going straight to bed is the best way to get cavities ASAP. In your mouth, sugar quickly turns into the kind of acid that we use for soldering. It can strip the oxide layer off of copper. Do you know how after you drink Coke, your teeth become almost squeaky clean? That’s this. If you like sugary drinks, carefully drink them using a straw. Rinse immediately after you’re done drinking & eating.

SHAVING
- Get yourself an old-school safety T-razor, the one that takes suicide blades. It will last a lifetime. Mühle and Merkur are good manufacturers (not affiliated). Once you have it, for the rest of your life, you will only buy blades. This is the most environmentally friendly way to get a clean, close shave. Electric razors save water, but they often contain batteries.
- Because of how violently electric razor’s blades hit hair while cutting it, they chip your hair. This leads to your freshly grown hair being sharp, rough and unpleasant to the touch. The manual razor, on the other hand, produce clean edges. When your hair grows back, it will be softer than what you get with an electric razor.
- Feather brand blades (not affiliated) are the sharpest in the world. The sharper the blade, the less traumatic it is. Watch T-razor tutorials on YouTube. There are different shaving techniques that will get you a killer shave.
- T-razor blades last considerably longer than their modern soyboy single-use counterparts.
- Because of a single blade construction, T-razor almost never leaves irritation.
- Basically, modern single-use plastic blades are horrible for the environment, and they’re almost a scam for how much you get for your money. They’re only rivaled by printer ink. Use them only for intimate shaving, as they’re considerably handier down there.
- Always shave after hot shower.
- Before shaving, dry the skin surface. Apply shaving foam on dry skin only, as it contains chemicals that make your hair softer. When diluted, they’re not as effective, and shaving unsoftened hair is almost always unpleasant and dangerous.
- After applying the foam, wait about a minute for the foam to work. If the skin gets irritated, don’t wait for as long, or perhaps try a different foam brand.
- Before shaving, thoroughly clean your razor with hand sanitizer or ethanol. Ideally, it should be sterile. Using boiling hot water is also a good option, just be careful with it.
- After shaving, rinse off foam, immediately dry your skin with a clean towel, then apply aftershave. After applying it, don’t touch your skin until it completely dries. If you follow this routine, your skin won’t get any pimples, guaranteed.
- Scrubs won’t help you. Don’t use them.

More in the comments!

Looking to sharpen and pursue a SysAdmin/DevOps career, looking at online job offers to get the big picture of required skills and I say FUCK. It would take me a lifetime.
Azure, AWS, Google cloud platform.
CD tools: Ansible, Chef or Puppet
Scripting ninja with Python/Node and Shell/Power shell.
Linux & Windows administration
Mongo, MySQL and their relatives.
Networking, troubleshooting failure in disturbed systems
Familiarity with different stacks. Fuck. (Apache, nginx, etc..)
Monitoring infrastructure ( nagios, datadog .. )
CI tools: jenkins, maven, etc..
DB versioning: liquibase, flyway etc.
FUCK FUCK FUCK.
Are they looking for Voltron? FUCK YOU FROM THE DEEPEST LEVEL OF MY DEEP FUCK.

Bootcamps get you up and running in coding quickly. If you are a programmer, companies are only interested on how quickly, error free and cheaply you produce marketable output. Bootcamps enable this.

More or less you are not more than a former assembly line worker putting parts on a car platform. Your value is not very high as you may be exchanged at any time at their will.

Nevertheless, you can earn money quickly. You trade in your youth and time which might be a dead end in the long-term. Trends go to machine learning, artificial intelligence. They will not need Bootcamp people and code workers.

It is better you set up Bootcamps and sell them versus absolving this. Like selling shovels during the gold rush, but not working in the mud of Alaska by yourself.

Your choice is: Making quick money, which fades anyway; or striving for the long-term future proof career.

C/S degrees from Technical Universities of reputation give to you the right direction under a strategic consideration. Companies which pay well, or freelancing with a solid acknowledged background, will always look for top graduates. People from Bootcamps are just OK for hammering assembly line coding. Even worse with SCRUM in one noisy room under enormous team server pressure controls, counting your lines of code per minute, with pale people all around. And groups of controllers never acknowledging nor trusting your work.

To acquire a serious degree, a Bachelor is nothing. Here, in INDIA, Bachelor now is what a former high school grade was. You must carry a diploma or Masters degree combined with internships at big companies with high brand recognition. This will require 4–6 years of your lifetime. You can support this financially by working part-time freelancing as making some projects front- or back-end web, data analysis and else.

Bootcamp people will lose in the long-term. They are the modern cannon fudder of software production.

It is your choice. Personally, I would never do Bootcamps. Quality and sustainability require time, deep studies and devotion.

[Fairly existential career question] How fulfilling would you say your career in development has been?

[Long rant] for years I had been planning on becoming a rabbi, majored in religious studies etc, until I realized there would be no way out of my rapidly growing debt if I chose to continue on that path. i had to drop out 3 years into my undergrad due to financial issues, and as it is now working full time im barely holding my head above water. I spent a lot of time being sad about it until i decided to change things and started getting into accounting before I discovered coding. I am SO GLAD I discovered coding cause accounting was so boring...Now I'm excited to be going back to school for software development and I'm in a bit of a pink cloud having discovered something thats both exciting/fun/challenging AND lucrative... But i do worry about 5, 10 years in the future, will i still be as stoked about it? Religious leadership was and is something I know i would feel ~fulfilled~ over a lifetime, and while my newly discovered passion for coding literally keeps me up at night getting fired up on solving problems and writing my little newb programs, i think I'm afraid of burnout?

[Tl;dr] I'm making an education+career switch to software development and i wanna know how folks feel about their career years into it, do you still love it just as much? Feel jaded? Regretful? Happy?

Friend asked me this:
"So if PHP is that bad, why there are still so many job offers for PHP devs?"

What do you do when you need good solder, but you can’t get EU/US/Japanese stuff where you live? No, you don’t buy Chinese. You buy ПОС-61, together with 500g of pure rosin, made in Smolensk, Russia.

The recipe and the supply chain didn’t change since the Soviet Union. They arrived today with the order number of, I kid you not, 666, and the set costed me $9 for 100g of solder and 500g of rosin. That rosin combined with ethanol gets you ФСКп flux that will last a lifetime. It does the job and doesn’t require cleaning.

Yes, some Chinese solder and flux are better, but I didn’t find a single AliExpress shop without at least one review telling that the thing they’re selling was fake. And you can be damn sure that if a Chinese listing says that there is 100g of solder, it will be 98 grams together with the spool and paper.

Soviet stuff is predictable. It says 100g, but weights 119g with the spool. If it says Sn61Pb39 that melts at 190℃, it will be exactly that, every time. And if it was good enough for Soviet tech, it’s good enough for my DIY endeavors.

And yes, it flows like syrup, and after it cools down, it shines like jewelry.

(can't upload pics bc pics are dead again!)

everyone warned me, but did I listen!

I've done enough troubleshooting to last me a lifetime, I'm just gonna rollover and die

fuck you windows 10

Yeah turns out writing a shell is a whole lot more work than I thought

Fuck man, why can't I just find a cool project that is actually doable in a normal lifetime

Learning the 7363783 fucking language in my lifetime

I freaking hate slow IDEs, especially ones made in Java.
I used to use an IDE/text editor called geany, and it was great, you could do almost every language in it and it worked great. It was fast, and efficient, it was a no-nonsense editor. That was when I was a kid, but I got in univ and got a job, so I had to start using big boy """""enterprise""""" IDEs like eclipse.

Eclipse, netbeans, and intellij (basically every Java based IDE except BlueJ) are exactly what is wrong with IDEs. They are clunky editors that frankly would be better off gone. They are slow, eat RAM like crazy (like most Java software). You just CANNOT have eclipse open for extended periods of time, because it WILL take up too much resources and get slow as heck. Android Studio (based on intellij) is a nightmare to work with. It just does not want to cooperate with you (I will agree they have improved a lot though).

I cannot believe I am saying this, but even the electron based IDEs like atom and code-oss are better than them. They are very easily expandable, something that Java was supposed to be, but is not. They have tons of plugins. Even if its not there, you can make one without having to spend a lifetime making the plugin! They look good. I never thought that going from IDEs with """""enterprise""""" UIs to something modern like code-oss would feel this great. Its ridiculous, I don't want to create a darn project for every single file that I want to edit, I just want syntax highlighting for a single .sh file that I want to edit right now. A project is just a way to logically define what is one "unit" or a "container for multiple files", you know what else is that? A simple directory.

Also I don't want 9 billion .xml files for the IDE to store its crap. Just make a .vscode like folder to hide your shit.

c++ has a little bit of a learning curve, I think.

Used smart pointers everywhere in my code because I heard that's what we gotta do nowadays.

When learning about shared vs unique vs weak, I disregarded weak pointers because I didn't really understand them.

"That sounds like something for liberal pansies", I said to myself, then continued on with my STRONG shared and unique pointers.

Now my app leaks memory like a MOTHERFUCKER, if you can believe that.

So now I need to go back and manage my object lifetime with more intent instead of just making everything a shared pointer. Fuckin circular references. Fuckin reaping what I fuckin sow. God damn.

This shit is long story of my computer experience over my lifetime.

When I was young I got my first PC with windows it was not so bad. It required safe shut down of it’s fat32 partition. From time to time I needed to reinstall it cause of slow down but I got used to it I was only a gamer.

Time passes and I got more curious about computers and about this linux. Everything worked there but installation of anything was complete madness and none of windows programs worked well, and I wanted to play games and be productive so I sticked with windows.

I bought hp laptop once with nvidia card, it was overheating and got broken. So I bought toshiba and all I told to the seller was I want ATI card. Took me 5 minutes to do it and I was faster then my friend buying pack of cigarettes because I was earning money using computer.

Then I grown up running my small one person programming businesses and I wanted to run and compile every fucking program on this world. I wanted linux shell commands. I wanted package manager, and I wanted my os to be simple because I wasn’t earning money by using my os but by programming. So after getting my paycheck I bought mac. I can run windows and linux on vm if I need it. I try not to steal someones work so I didn’t want to run hackintosh. I am using this mac for some time.

Also I use playstation for gaming. Because I only want to run and play game I am not excited about graphics but gameplay. I think I am pragmatic person.

I can tell you something about my mac.
When I close lid it go sleep when I open it wakes up instantly. I never need to wonder if I want to hibernate or shut down or sleep and drain battery. It is fucking simple.
When I want to run or open something it doesn’t want me to wait but it gives me my intellij or terminal or another browser or whatever I search for. Yeah search is something that works.
Despite it got 8 gigs of ram I can run whatever number of programs I want at the same speed. The speed is not very fast sometimes but it’s constant fast.
I have a keychain so my passwords are in one place I can slow down shared internet speed, I can put my wifi in monitor mode and I don’t need to install some 3rd party software.
And now I updated my mac to high sierra, cause it’s free and I want to play with ios compilation. Before I did it I didn’t even backup whole work. I just used time machine and regular backups. And guess what, it still works at the same speed and all I did was click to run update and cook something to eat.
When I got bored I close the lid, when got idea open lid and code shit, not waiting for fucking wakeup or fucking updates.

I wanted to rant apple products I use but they work, they got fucking updates all along at the same time. And all of updates are optional.

I cannot tell that about all apple products but about products I use.

I think I just got old and started to praise my limited time on this world. Not being excited about new crap. When I buy something I choose wisely. I bought iPhone. I can buy latest iPhone x but I bought iPhone 7 cause it’s from fucking metal. And I know that metal is harder then glass, why the fucking apple forgot about it? I don’t know.
I know that I am clumsy and drop stuff. Dropped my phone at least 100 times and nothing.

I am not a apple fan boy I won’t buy mac with this glowing shit above keyboard that would got me blind at night.
I buy something when I know that it can save my time on this world. I try to buy things that make me productive and don’t break after a year.

So now piece of advise, stop wasting your time, buy and update wisely, wait a week or a month or a year when more people buy shit and buy what’s not broken. And if something’s broken rant this shit so next customer can be smarter.
Cheers

!dev

I wanted to prank a colleague. And he ruined it by showing up to the site of prank way too early, despite him having had clear instructions as to "let me know" once he gets to the office.

Anyways, as I was going to lengths getting this damn skeleton yesterday, I was thinking how much more fun it would be if my highschool bestfriend was here instead of him, and what greater lengths I'd go just to prank her. Halloween specially would be prank every day for a week! 😆

Now, point to make, is that the mentioned bestfriend is well and alive, just wants to live her life her own way, and that doesn't include having a goofy friend such as me as close anymore (and I feel that's fair, however much I don't like it)

But that I am projecting my friendship with her on this new friend/colleague... creepy of me, I know, but like... also sad. Like I felt bad for myself for a second there. How many times in a lifetime do you get to feel bad for yourself?

*Cue Joji's Glimpse of Us*

I've just found out that the web app I'm working on right now has been first created in 2008. It's been there for nearly HALF MY LIFETIME. 😥🔫

Before I went to school I was copying game code from book to atari computer cause it was faster than waiting for game to load from tape recorder ( especially when people are walking around on wood floor and you have constant read errors).

I probably wrote some magic spell that cursed me on my lifetime cause this shitty programming happened to chase me everywhere I go.

Damn you software you’re everywhere I go, why you’re haunting me all the time. It’s hard to find some quiet place without you watching.

So remember kids don’t write code you don’t understand cause it may fuck your life.

God DAMN IT!!!!

I swear, every single time I get close to a Spring project I'm elbows deep in shit.

Like this case... I have to explicitly specify @DependsOn for my @Component, so Spring could autowire constructor parameters. If I don't, sometimes the app starts fine (if I start it through IDE) and sometimes it fails, saying bean could not be created (apparently, there's some functionality gap causing PostProcessors not to be called if the bean is first touched by a constructor autowirer)

when they say frameworks are good and fast, I say "LOOK AT MY LIFETIME SPENT WORKAROUNDING THEIR ERRORS!!!"

is it so hard to screen capture only the relevant details necessary to reproduce a bug? i just watched a video where for 2:30 min, literally nothing happened. and half of rest of the time, they randomly click stuff, as if they've forgotten what they want to show. nobody can give me this lost lifetime back. and the testuff video player is so crappy that i can't even reasonably jump forward / backward or increase playing speed. i even prefer crappy, wiggly upright phone videos if they are on point and don't steal my time. SHOW ME THE BUG ALREADY

Our CTO is leaving, the CEO decided to seize this once in a lifetime opportunity to cut costs and we'll have to do without CTO.

There is no way this software development company will still be operating 9 months from now without a fucking CTO and I have honestly never seen such a blatant example of deep mental retardation, be it by a manager or by the endless supply of sycophants tirelessly endorsing the dumbest idea I have ever heard of, as if they're not going to be jobless like the rest of us.

On This Episode of Ghetto Medium..

Posted after midnight for extra spooky effects. Read in the dark at your own risk. You've been warned.

So my mother has been on a binge watching shows like long island medium (apparently the taller your hair the closer you are to god or something), and every time we talk she begins at length to talk about, you guessed it.. 'ghosts.'

Now don't get me wrong, I've had some 'spooby' shit occur in my lifetime, the sort that will tighten your sphincter faster than bill cosby asking you if you want some koolaid or grape drank, but I digress.

The ghost talk is tiring. Lately theres been a *flood* of these new shows, purportedly showing mediums and people who can 'look into the other side' and I realize just how vapid and ridiculous it's all become, as if they all are being personally haunted by the ghost of John Edwards burnt out husk of a career. Theres long island beehive big-hair medium, celebrity medium, allison DuBois (the inspiration for that one sappy show *medium*) whos red hair and vacant stare speak of glimpses into centuries past like an intimate unseen horizon. or maybe she forgot to unplug her curling iron in a hotel one time and has been rendered permanently catatonic. And who can forget *Beyond With James Van Praagh* (everyone) whos face, as measured by the width of his mustache, appears to be expanding at a constant rate like a bad image macro edit thats been memed and repasted a thousand times. Then theres Chip Coffee, whos name is about as believable as his teaching degree on the show *Psychic Kids* where he mentored, again, you guessed it, *psychic kids*. Of course theres Tyler Henry, a youthful, uh, "flamboyant" medium for celebrities with ghost problems. Never trust a man with two names, this ones no exception, he looks so clean cut hes either secretly mormon, or secretly gay, maybe both. I'm not judging, but I am saying if I ever saw his clean cut, smooth, wrinkless (seriously, how tyler? how?), all american face, say smiling that subtle smile outside my kitchen sliding glass door at 3 am, his face watching me from the pitch dark outside, I wouldn't at all be surprised, except for the hospital bill I'd have to pay after shitting a brick and needing anal surgery.

At this rate we have mediums popping out left and right, like clowns at one of them R.L Stein nightmare carnivals, or beggers outside a methodone clinic. Geez, they're coming out the wood work, like those painting you see with hidden faces in them, or wheres-waldo posters, only you're trying to find the non-waldo guy amongst all the characters because they're ALL waldo: goofy acting, goofy dressing, and just all around goofy looking.

At this rate I'm fully expecting "pet medium" (starring a character named Stephen King and his marital problems, played by johnny depp eating way to much corn), and "haunted objects medium", and "car medium" (it's just seinfeld in a car, talking to psychics instead of other people), and "ghetto medium."

Today on this episode of "Ghetto Medium"..

Medium: Teneesha, aw yeah girl, u *definitely* ded gurl, uh huh! You WAY to white too be alive, you done passed over gurl!

And in the next episode of Ghetto Medium, one man claims "every time I bend over I can hear "wOoOoOoOoO!, Is my asshole possessed? Find out is it real or fake, and what our verdict is in Ghost Medium, episode 3: A Haunting In My Nether-regions."

Cut commercial break.

"Jerry Springer: One women asks, 'jerry, is my unborn child's foreskin haunted? And later today we ask the crowd, would you have sex with a ghost?"

Welcome to American television 'programming' in 2019.

Yes, it's all brainwashing.

I think I have PHPTSD...
This absolutely abysmal custom PHP CMS I have to migrate is even worse than I expected. At this point it's easier to guess the table relationships in MySQL than trying to decypher the code which that other company's CEO and his slaves wrote.

I have to assume that he is an absolute genius, well above 180 IQ points, as I have zero chance of understanding his code within my limited lifetime...

Another pointless ass meaning. My fucking director and coworkers act like they have never had to do any frontend and backend development in parallel. We've been doing this for literally the lifetime of this project. It hasn't changed. And this literally spawned because the director can't give an actual answer to the real question of what the fucking requirements are.

Oh shit... My XPS 13 seems to slowly approach it's EOL :(

It has lost power 3 times already since yesterday. The last time it shut down while I was browsing BIOS (UEFI) settings, on a charger...

shit :(

Yes, I am drooling at the new XPS 7390 with advertised battery lifetime of 21 hour. But I'm so used to my lappy.

Shit :(

Front-end web development is like a fucking cancer to me right now

I need the following behavior from my development environment if I don't want the webdev experience to destroy my sanity and tempt me into suicide by making me waste my valuable lifetime configuring shit that is ultimately meaningless to the software I'm trying to create:

- I should be able to open the webpage in the browser at localhost:<some-port>
- the page should refresh immediately as I save my files
- I should be able to import node modules installed with npm without using a script tag linking to some CDN (for instance, I want to do a get request with axios instead of the fetch API)
- I should be able to do this without spending more than two minutes reading the documentation for a tool that would enable me to do it, ideally without ever coming even close to touching a configuration file

Right now I know about browser-sync and webpack, or webpack-dev-server or some such fucking shit fuck fucking fuck.

browser-sync seems to fulfill most of these needs, except that I can't seem to bring npm modules into my application and import them. Webpack seems to be able to do this, but at the cost of slowly throwing my life away reading documentation for over-complicated configuration files that do not aid me in actual software creation and therefore do not interest me and never will, all in the hope that I *may* at some point dig out enough shit to find how to do such a use case (i.e. seamless, smooth web development) that to me feels reasonably common and expected.

Is there some tool that enables me to do *seamless*, pleasurable web development without the hassles of over-complication and over-engineering? Is there some hidden command for webpack that allows me to run such simple shit without ever needing to edit some pointless configuration file?

Please, I beg of you, let me know.

!dev !tech

it's 2 am, nd just out of curiosity i put on earphones and tried to dance on a romantic couple song . interestingly, my life has been so single and restrictive that I can't even imagine holding hands of someone , nd that feels a bit sad.

after being burdened with the family ethics, relgions, family fights and financial crisis for so long, i feel i have lost a personality that i should have had.

1. i have lost the sense of random naughtiness and unnecessary bravery/arrogance. from what i know, the best way to reach your path is to remain focused on it. unnecessary acts of curiousity or nuisance leads to fights, frauds or worse.
however, people enjoy life by doing unnecessary banter, gossips, nuisance and having fun with unknown things, people and surroundings.
i guess this makes people a likeable/interesting character in social scenarios as me being an alert dog trying to focus on resching the party place, have a safe party and come home at time becomes a less interesting character than the guy entertaining everyone by his stupid talks in the car.

2. i have lost sense of compassion or showing love , expressing love or doing things out of love and not just for transaction.
From what i heard, people in relationship are clumsy to the max level. messages every 5 seconds, random acts of flirting, teasing, playing hard to get, what not.
i ... am simple. if i like someone, they are gonna know in 5 seconds (which is followed by a lifetime of awkwardness, so i have stopped even letting this thing to be known). physically nd financially i have enough resources and plans to be a good person to be with : i can be helpful in situations, am always up for doing anything interesting and have reputable personna. but expressing via those sugary baby talks is not my ☕

3. I haven't gained any passion for anything. i see people having deep thoughts on their passions for poetry, music, dance , guitar, travel, political alignment, causes, or whatnot.
i am not that much passionate towards anything because life doesn't give everyone the chance to choose passions.
i sat with my father in a flea market selling stuff. that wasn't passion, that was a necessity. for me, money>>study>>>anything
i am only passionate about having food on my plate and a roof over my head

-------

so all these things makes jack a boring person. i jave been chasing money so much that i question everyday of its worth it, as it's currently just being used to battle with the financial crisis while having a little bit in savjngs to enjoy life. but am so much worn out by this pressure of earning money that I don't even know how to enjoy life or have someone to enjoy life with , so its even more pointless to increase that limit.

i do try to explore the things i like : dance, singing, traveling, working out but not at the level that those attributes define me

#awkward_loney_life

Rust lifetimes are taking my only lifetime.

I'm too tired to fix this and probably too old for this stuff.

unrealistic dream :

in my 40s, being cto of a market leading product in its v10 stage, whose v1 i created from scratch. me doing nothing except creating the best remote work hustler culture for the company .

i will be making both : the topmost and bottomost engineers/managers give ppts and talks of product that they created, ll system and hl system designs and the decisions that went into it

i also want some powerful management/ ceos as friends, that drive our boat to greater heights and generate tremendous revenue+ fundings + profits

----

realistic dream :

to keep being SE1 (or at worst SE2/tech lead) in a company, do 4-5 hr non impactful work per day and earn 3x the inflation as am doing now. plus somehow get a lottery or something once in a lifetime , that is worth 100x my current income so that i could build a home and 2 cars and a children fund

dev is not a great thing to be dreamt about, but it certainly paves way for a happier and healthier lifestyle if done right

At the moment? There are a bunch of classes that someone wrotes back in 2017 to make a connection to a legacy software in the company and every single integration since then strongly depends on that hard to read code. I live with the constant fear of that code suddenly stop working, I don't think I will be skilled enough to fix it.

Of lifetime? Taking decisions on colors in the front end.

What cloud backup service are you using now?
So far the top 3 for me:
1. pCloud - with lifetime plan
2. Google Drive
3. Sync.com

Weekend's ruined, thanks to QAs for more bugs. Having a fever and bugs together? It's a nightmare, a potential lifetime trauma.

(⁠ノ⁠ಥ⁠,⁠_⁠｣⁠ಥ⁠)⁠ノ⁠彡⁠┻⁠━⁠┻

Dear devRant, "Remember Me" means, keep me logged in for longer than the lifetime of this tab. Or is that checkbox decorative?

(Yes, I also use the app)

Vultr!

I first used them because digitalocean didn't have servers in a particular location and they turned out to be pretty good. Billed hourly and you can spin up an instance quickly and destroy it when you're done without signing up for a lifetime. Support is pretty good too.

You can talk for a lifetime of improvement, but what can you do when your boss sits near you and dictates his changes to the app you're working on?

Don't forget, this changes are on the opposite place of good common sense, interface guidelines (iOS and material) and TASTE.

Motherfucker Udacity blocked my contents that I bought, due to some completion of term, which are ment to be accessed lifetime and saying to pay the fee again to avail them. Any suggestions what should I do?? I need those contents badly. Their fucking support executives are not even responding.

New windows update idea, everytime it’s updating, a commentary of your life with Morgan Freeman as voice over while you wait for your life to end, you know cause windows update took a fucking lifetime. smh.

If there's one problem with rust, it's that it expects you to know how to use it.

One of my first projects was to try and use the SDL2 crate to make something, and I got stuck wrangling the borrow checker about how long my textures live.

I try again a year later, now knowing intuitively how the lifetime system works, and I come up with a solution easily.

This sort of thing is probably very discouraging to new users of the language

I understand technical limitations and maintenance burden, but I think Rust could be a lot more ergonomic if the borrow checker was applied to functions that don't reference invalid types even if the rest of the codebase contains type errors. I have 146 lifetime errors, some of them very fundamental to the design of my solution, which I didn't spot because the borrow checker wouldn't run until I fixed all totally unrelated type errors in parts of the project that literally only interact with this one through virtual function calls.

So, I went right into working after getting my bachelors in computer science. The company I'm working for is overall pretty good, I think. My colleagues are really nice people, my chef is a super chill dude and overall its a nice workfield.
There are weeks or even months, when nothing happens though. I go to work, fight through boredom and tiredness and go home. I had several months in the last year where I didn't write a single line of code.

Is this normal? Should I come to terms with this?
I didn't become a software developer to basically sell my lifetime.

Took me two hours to realize this. I guess I will spend a lifetime to accept it.

OFFER!!!
3 hours of lifetime for only 1 failed exam!!!
Special: If you buy two you actually can experience your bought lifetime for more than 10 minutes in sequence!!!
OFFER END!!!

You give a man a fish and he can feed himself for the day. You teach a man to use Blind, and he will buy organic fish from whole foods for a lifetime.

- Joma

A lifetime spent waiting for Composer update to finish

So I'm having this return to the 70s mood. Not for the 70s themselves but for the pack of tech in everyday life.

Like besides email or worldwide message exchange and wikipedia, what have been the last true innovations?

Media streaming just killed and monopolized other industries. Sure, everything is cheaper, but let's be honest, how much music do we consume? Pretty sure like 80% of people listen to the same 100 songs in their whole lifetime. Do we need limitless streaming? Did it help us somehow beyond giving some dopamine shots?

Social media are and have always been crap for posers, advertising and bots. Small communities make sense, when properly taken care of. The actual issue with social media is the replacement of the so called "Third place". The place you go after work that is not your home. We don't know each other anymore, loneliness is apparently becoming pandemic and people are struggling with this. How is this innovative? For the real time news that are making people freak out?

And then, as I ranted before, AI. It's just... Statistics. Well applied statistics. Is it an actual innovation? No. Serves nothing beyond taking someone's job.
And before some retarded dickhead starts no, it will never create the same amount of jobs as a factory would've done 100 years ago, and prompt engineering is a lie told by the very guys who SELL those products to convince you that their crap is harmless.

Maybe it's about time to hit the brakes for a second and think if the simpler things (NOT the times!) were better, if maybe if we're getting lonely is actually our fault, it's our fault for not calling that old friend for a drink, it's our fault if we keep getting some dopamine shot every minute and are barely able to look people in the eyes, it's our fault for not behaving like human beings?

I hope any engineer will understand how this rant is about consumer-oriented tech and not tech in general.

the mistake people keep making when they're happy about some new tech and its possibilities is that they keep forgetting we are being ruled, and the tech is being controlled and monopolized, by a cult of megalomaniacal, narcissistic, powerhungry, moneyhungry, ideologically fundamentalist control freak lizards who give exactly ZERO shits about people, or the quality of their products, or some vision/ambition of making things better for people/humanity.

you think "vr metaverse", and you imagine Oasis because you think it's being made by James Halliday, while, in reality it's being made by a team of Cthulhus so it would be closer to reality if you imagined the people pods that ensure your lifetime connection to The Matrix.

Rule of thumb when buying things. You need to research a lot and canvass other competitors of that product/service.

In short, I forgot to research pCloud's upload speed. They throttle my upload speed to 1Mbps only which is really slow (I'm in Asia by the way, their server is in US). Got tempted by their $350 2TB lifetime.

I tested the basic upload speed using browser 33.9MB file:
- pCloud 1 min 9 sec
- Dropbox 13 sec
- Google Drive 12 sec
- Mega.Nz 1 min 56 sec
- (I will test next sync.com)

I have a 100Mbps upload and 35 Mbps download speed. So it means "Lifetime" slow upload speed.

Side Question: Which Cloud backup service do you use and why? Thanks!

(!Rant)
Quasi real-time natural language translation. You guys think it will be a thing in our lifetime? I'm a novice programmer but i really want to contribute in this field. Aside of a deeper knowledge of linguistics, what would be beneficial code-wise if one would learn these things?
On this note; fuck learning Chinese - I'm a lazy nerd 😎

I just finished posting this but think it deserves its own post.
If you're creating a business or "startup" (as people like to call it these days) don't assume the idea is novel or investors will just jump on board. Focus on the business fundementals, money and cash flow, even before launch, unless you can afford not to. But really you can't afford not to. Selling before launch means that you're effectively doing two things 1 you're collecting new customers and income for the business and 2 you're. raising awareness at the same time. Obscurity is death and failure.

Get you a good sales team and marketer when the time is right.

Have a year of runway.

Identify the sites and groups your target audience and investors frequent. Start conversations now, buzz is the hardest thing to generate.

Start building relations with customers and potential clients now. Discuss launch, ask them if they'd be willing to pay up front before launch, in order to secure a "lifetime membership", offer it as an early opportunity and charge extra. Giving a discount out of the gate is a mistake B/c it says to potential investors that you don't think it's ready or worth it yet. Of course if it's between making 1. Some money or 2. No money, don't let it be a deal breaker, offer a discount. Going from no clients to any clients is a BIG deal. If you can do 1 you can make it to 10, if 10, you can reach 100, we etc.

No one likes asking for money and yet it is as important if not more important than development.

Every developer should go to Silicon Valley at least once in their lifetime, it should be enough to change his/her life forever...

So, I have been offered two jobs at the same company (big, global corp)

1. RPA coordinator or operator or business analyst. Completely new to me, they're happy with my background enough so that I could learn on the job. RPA is new in this place and they're creating team from scratch.

2. Member of IT security team where most of my work would be split between things that interest me greatly - vulnerabilities, fixing them and pen testing.

I'm not sure what to pick, really.

Option 1 seems to be way more future proof and seems like a lifetime opportunity to get into something relatively new, potentially more ££ down the road.
Option 2 is what I already spent some time learning and I have quite a big interest in. I've always been less of a programmer and more of an admin/sec guy.

Tbh before option 1 called me yesterday I thought that option 2 is a dream job for me. Now I'm all in doubt.

What do you call something that hunts bugs for lifetime?

P.S: it is not a spider. I hired them once and all they did was treason, quack!

Liferay should be renamed as Deathray. Tbvh that thing is so shit that it takes a lifetime to deploy, 1 nano second to crash, and an eternity to debug.

I’m not sure there will ever be a time in my lifetime but I am more grateful to be a coder.

I'd had some weirder experiences with Rust where errors would surface late or in odd places so now I can't tell whether this is actually legal or the error is being discarded because it's in dead code.

When did Rust start extending the lifetime of temporaries outside enclosing blocks to match their borrows?

(in case it''s not obvious, pattern and full_pattern are both slices)

TRUMPS BEEN IN OFFICE FOR 20 MINUTES AND THE US ALREADY FEELS LESS GAY, AND A RANDOM 100 DOLLA BILL APPEARED IN MY WALLET, THE EARTH IS SELF CLEANSING, ECONOMY REGENERATING, I FEEL HOPE AGAIN FOR A BRIGTHER FUTURE, WE'RE GONNA EXPERIENCE MARS OCCUPATION IN OUR LIFETIME, TODAY IM FUCKING ANOTHER WHORE, SOON I WILL START SHITTING LESS, BECOME A MILLIONAIRE IN THE TRUMP ERA, AND LIFE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE FUCKING GOOD FOR ONCE

Does anyone have any experience with KeepSolidVPN? $150 for a lifetime package seems like an excellent deal.

Workers' council & girlfriend.
Enough social life for a lifetime.

Is there any language or framework I am guaranteed to get a job in if I learn right now?

I know this is a shot in the dark cuz if such did exist, every job seeking entrant would simply flock to it; but I don't know how developers switch between stacks. Off the top of my head, recommendation but what if such social capital is missing?

Some background: I built and published a php framework called Suphle (angry-cray-9c191b.netlify.app), which surprisingly neither got any users after a year nor impressed any php employer to hire me despite hundreds of applications sent out

Rather than throwing in the towel, I wish to switch to some other software stack but I don't know where to start, If with all my proven php experience, I'm unable to land any php roles. I have tried searching for nestjs and spring boot internships or junior but nothing comes up. I have run out of time to study a language I will never profit from

I have a flutter app on playstore, built together with a product designer who worked on the ui cuz my front end chops aren't strong. I will preferably continue in a back end environment but if I can solicit immediate employment, I don't mind brushing up on any available tech, be it devops or what have you. I've also worked with spring in a professional capacity, although a very turbulent one where the team we had issues ranging ranging from absence of adequate docs for something as basic as authentication, to using nosql (totally unnecessary), trying to separate codebase into different projects to mirror the real life department (this was my idea). I don't know if it's Conway's law but I decided project should be split into admin, user and common modules/repos since they were being worked on by different devs and had little in common. Unfortunately, there is no doc for importing/sharing local projects so we had more days chucked off

Anyway, I Built a react native app a lifetime ago. Been around the block a bit and pretty confident I won't take much time to get up to speed with a tech. Where do I go or how do I start? I stay in Nigeria so may be limited from on-site roles as well

When I look at the source code of an open source project and see things way more complicated than it needs to be, I just assume the contributors have seen some shit in their lifetime that makes them extra cautious.

This has to be the reason, right? Somebody tell me that there's a reason behind this madness.

This morning, my teacher in Integration course showed us a demonstration of Fourier series converging to the graph of their function using Maple.
He tells us it is advised to know how to use it and experiment in order to comprehend the lesson in a more intuitive way.
I check out the computers there to see if there is a licensed Maple software. There were none of it.
Okay then, can I get it to download on my PC ? Sure... For $100 to get a lifetime student version.
Heeeeeeeeeeeeck...

I got a CheatHappens Lifetime account which I don't need anymore.

I'm not sure how this is gonna work cuz devRant doesn't have PM... but maybe will figure something out..

First that replies saying they want it, gets it.

Will the cocksuckers who create remote syslog viewer applications as abstractions over standard Linux tools create some Linux-like fucking abstractions. One can only learn so many different query langs(however similar) in his fucking lifetime. It's an operational nightmare ffs

Applied for Interview based on beautiful landing page, employee benefits, decent salary, awesome interview questions exchange etc.
First day on the job, just meetings all day,
Second day, saw the product code.

Shittiest code I have seen in my lifetime.

I was just imagining how the only people who could enjoy a lifetime of the same things must in essence be very happy sheep farmers, illiterate and simple.

Many low intelligence animals live only in the now and never in the past

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Local Expertise: As bridal photographers near me and engagement photographers near me in Christchurch, we are familiar with the best local venues and picturesque backdrops. We know the hidden gems and scenic spots that will make your photos even more magical.
Personalized Approach: Every couple has a unique love story. We take the time to get to know you, ensuring that your bridal and engagement photography captures your personality and the essence of your relationship.
Professional Quality: We use the latest equipment and techniques to create high-quality, stunning photographs. Whether it’s a beautifully posed bridal portrait or a candid engagement shot, we ensure every image is nothing short of perfection.
Our Services
Bridal Photographers Near Me:

Your wedding day is a once-in-a-lifetime event, and your bridal photos should reflect the beauty and excitement of the moment. As bridal photographers near me, we work closely with you to capture your bridal portrait session, highlighting every detail of your dress, makeup, and the emotions of the day.
We believe that bridal photography is more than just about posing—it's about capturing the joy, love, and anticipation leading up to the big day. Whether you're looking for classic, romantic shots or a more creative, modern approach, we’ll ensure that your bridal photos reflect your unique vision.
Our team is skilled at making you feel comfortable and confident in front of the camera, helping you shine on your special day.
Engagement Photographers Near Me:

Your engagement is a time to celebrate your love and commitment, and your engagement photos should capture this exciting chapter of your journey together. As engagement photographers near me, we specialize in creating beautiful, intimate engagement sessions that reflect the chemistry and connection you share with your partner.
Whether you envision a romantic photoshoot in a scenic outdoor location or a cozy, intimate session in a meaningful place, we will tailor the session to reflect your personality and style.
Engagement photos are a great way to commemorate this special time and can also be used for save-the-dates, invitations, or displayed at your wedding. Our goal is to create lasting memories that you can cherish for years to come.
Why OURO is the Right Choice for Bridal and Engagement Photography
Experience and Passion: We are passionate about capturing love in its many forms. Our team of bridal photographers near me and engagement photographers near me brings years of experience to each session, ensuring we capture the most beautiful moments that tell your unique story.
Creative and Timeless Photos: We combine creativity with a timeless approach to ensure that your bridal and engagement photos are something you’ll treasure forever. From candid moments to perfectly posed portraits, we create a balance of images that capture the essence of your love.
Stress-Free Experience: Our goal is to make your photography experience as enjoyable and stress-free as possible. We help you feel at ease in front of the camera, so you can truly enjoy the moment.
Attention to Detail: We focus on the small details that make your day even more special. Whether it's the flowers in your bridal bouquet or the way you look at each other during your engagement shoot, we capture it all with care and attention.

BOTNET CRYPTO RECOVERY, SPECIALIZE IN RECOVERING LOST BITCOIN AND CRYPTOCURRENCY

The entire ordeal began rather innocently when I found myself drawn into the enticing world of online investing by an FX trader I encountered on Instagram. At first, this trader struck me as exceptionally professional and self-assured. They shared an array of impressive testimonials, recounting tales of astonishing returns that others had purportedly made from their investments. It was as if they had opened the vault of wealth and were inviting me in. The promises were bold and alluring: invest a relatively modest sum, and I could potentially multiply my investment fivefold in a mere seven days. It felt like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and I couldn't shake the feeling that this was my chance to significantly grow my financial assets.

Initially, all of this seemed perfectly above board. The trader presented what appeared to be concrete proof of their successes, displaying glowing reviews and testimonials from previous clients who had seemingly struck it rich using their methods. Trust began to blossom, and I convinced myself that diving into this venture was not just a good idea but a savvy financial move. With a momentum of excitement and optimism, I made my first investment, gradually increasing my stake over the following weeks until I had funneled a total of $73,000 into this trader's enterprise.

However, as the days turned into weeks, a shadow began to loom over my optimism. Each time I attempted to withdraw my funds or the supposed profits I had amassed, I found myself met with a series of increasingly elaborate excuses. The trader's team concocted a new story each time I inquired about my cash — claims of additional fees, unforeseen taxes, or necessary "security deposits" that had to be paid before I could ever see my hard-earned money again. The first few times, I hesitated. I wanted to believe that these requests were genuine, that there were indeed legitimate hurdles to navigate. Yet, rather than easing my worries, these excuses only deepened my confusion and frustration.

With each additional demand, the trader's team positioned it as though compliance was my only option if I ever wanted to reclaim my money. It felt like a relentless cycle of hope and disappointment. I vividly remember the helplessness that enveloped me; every time I raised my concerns or expressed my doubts, they reassured me—a mix of confidence and false warmth—promising that my funds were just around the corner, pending these final hurdles.

Eventually, as reality settled over me like a cold blanket, I came to a heart-wrenching realization: I had fallen victim to a scam. The vexation and despair left me reeling, and although I felt utterly desperate, I was at a loss as to how to take action and recover my funds. Then, by sheer chance, I stumbled upon a social media post from someone who had gone through a harrowing experience similar to mine. They mentioned a company called BOTNET CRYPTO RECOVERY, a team of crypto recovery experts dedicated to assisting individuals in retrieving lost funds from fraudulent investment schemes.

My initial inclination was to be doubtful. After all, I had already experienced a deception that left me wary of placing my trust in another entity. Nevertheless, after much contemplation, I resolved to take a leap of faith and reached out to BOTNET CRYPTO RECOVERY. I provided them with a comprehensive account of my transaction history and the unfortunate details of my case, praying that they could provide a glimmer of hope amidst my frustration. To my astonishment, just seven hours later, they requested my wallet address, indicating they were ready to take action.

What transpired next was nothing short of miraculous: I found $73,000 reappearing in my wallet. The relief and gratitude I felt were beyond words. BOTNET CRYPTO RECOVERY proved to be nothing like the trader who had initially lured me into this mess. They were consistently professional, impressively prompt, and thoroughly diligent in their work. Their expertise and dedication truly facilitated the recovery of a significant portion of my lost funds.

In light of my experience, I cannot stress enough how crucial it is to look to recovery specialists like BOTNET CRYPTO RECOVERY if you ever find yourself ensnared in a similar predicament. Their intervention made a profound difference in my case, and I will forever be grateful for their support during such a tumultuous time. If you find yourself in such a challenging situation, I highly recommend seeking help from professionals who understand the complexities of these fraudulent schemes; they can make all the difference in the world. Email them on ( botnetcryptorecovery @ groupmail . c o m )

NITLEX Entertainment: The Premier Orlando Wedding DJ Service

When it comes to planning a wedding in Orlando, one of the most crucial elements for ensuring your big day is unforgettable is the entertainment. That’s where NITLEX Entertainment steps in, providing a high-quality, professional Orlando Wedding DJ service that sets the mood for your celebration.

Why Choose NITLEX Entertainment for Your Wedding DJ Needs?
At NITLEX Entertainment, we understand that every couple’s vision for their wedding day is unique. From the moment the ceremony begins to the last song of the night, our goal is to provide a seamless musical experience that aligns with your style and creates lasting memories for you and your guests.

We are based in Wildwood, FL, but serve the greater Orlando area with a passion for making each wedding event special and personalized. Our team brings professional experience, the latest DJ equipment, and a deep love for music to ensure your wedding day is everything you've dreamed of and more.

Unmatched DJ Experience in Orlando
Our Orlando Wedding DJ service isn’t just about playing songs; it’s about reading the crowd, curating the perfect playlist, and creating an atmosphere that suits your unique celebration. Whether you're into modern hits, classic songs, or timeless wedding tunes, we’ve got the tracks that will have everyone on the dance floor.

Here’s what makes NITLEX Entertainment stand out:

Experienced DJs: Our team is made up of highly skilled DJs with years of experience in the wedding industry. We understand the flow of a wedding day and how to adjust the music to keep the energy up.

Personalized Playlists: We’ll work closely with you to create a custom playlist that reflects your taste, ensuring that every moment – from your first dance to the last song – is perfectly in tune with your style.

High-Quality Sound and Lighting: With top-of-the-line sound systems and sophisticated lighting setups, we can transform any venue into a dynamic, fun-filled experience that looks and sounds amazing.

Full-Service Entertainment: We offer more than just DJ services. From MC services to coordinating with the wedding planner and venue staff, we ensure everything runs smoothly so you can focus on enjoying your day.

A Wedding Day That Reflects You
Every wedding is different, and we work tirelessly to provide you with a DJ experience that matches your vision. Whether you’re hosting a large, extravagant wedding or an intimate gathering, we have the flexibility to adjust and ensure everything goes off without a hitch.

We offer a variety of packages tailored to fit your specific needs and budget, so no matter the size of your celebration, NITLEX Entertainment can provide the perfect entertainment solution.

Serving Orlando and Beyond
While we are based in Wildwood, FL, NITLEX Entertainment proudly serves the Orlando area and beyond, bringing unforgettable music and professional DJ services to weddings throughout Central Florida.

Contact Us
Ready to make your wedding day in Orlando unforgettable? Let NITLEX Entertainment be the soundtrack to your celebration. For more information or to book your wedding DJ, give us a call at +1 (561) 907-7201 or visit us at 7818 June Ln, Wildwood, FL 34785. Our team is here to help you plan the perfect day and provide the entertainment that will make your wedding a memorable event for everyone involved.

At NITLEX Entertainment, your wedding isn’t just another event – it’s the celebration of a lifetime, and we are here to make it extraordinary.

HOW CAN I TRACE AND RECOVER MY STOLEN CRYPTOCURRENCY FROM A SCAMMER; CONTACT CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES

One fine Sunday, I decided to have a shoot. The weather was perfect, and everything seemed to align just right for an outdoor photoshoot. As I set up, I couldn’t help but think of a recent conversation I had with a photographer friend of mine, Dave. He’s one of the best in the industry, a true professional with years of experience and an impressive portfolio. He’s always striving to improve his work and provide the best for his clients. Unfortunately, he recently went through a situation that left him shaken, but it ultimately turned into a valuable lesson. I thought it would be worth sharing with you all. Dave, being such a big name in photography, was always searching for ways to elevate his craft. He wanted only the best, whether it was the latest gear, the top locations, or, in this case, the finest photo editing services available. One day, he came across an ad for a photo editing service that promised premium quality with a lifetime subscription at a one-time fee of $7,500 NZD. The offer seemed too good to pass up for someone like Dave, who only wanted the best for his photos. The website was sleek, the testimonials were glowing, and the pricing was positioned as a premium, lifetime solution. It appeared to be the perfect match for a photographer of his caliber, so he decided to invest without hesitation. At first, the service seemed to live up to its promises. The edits were decent, and the turnaround times were reasonable. Dave was satisfied at least initially. But over time, things started to go wrong. The quality of the edits began to decline, and the company’s responsiveness grew slower and less reliable. When Dave reached out for updates, the answers were vague and unhelpful. Soon, communication stopped altogether, and the edits were no longer up to the high standards Dave was used to. It became clear that Dave had been scammed. Despite paying for a lifetime subscription, he was left with subpar work and no way to get in touch with the company. He had lost a significant amount of money and, more importantly, the trust he had placed in a service he thought would be the best. That's when a fellow photographer recommended CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES. Initially, Dave was skeptical, unsure if anyone could help him recover the money he had lost. But after reaching out, he quickly realized that CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES was different. The team worked tirelessly to track down the scammers and recover $7,000 of his original $7,500 payment. It was a huge relief for Dave and restored some of his faith in the process. Now, Dave shares his story with other photographers in the industry, especially those who, like him, want only the best for their work. He advises them to be cautious with their investments and to always do thorough research before committing to anything. He also highly recommends CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES, knowing firsthand how valuable their expertise can be when things go wrong. So, if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, remember that even the best can be caught off guard. But with the right support, like Dave experienced, you can turn things around and recover from what initially seems like an irreparable loss.

Here's Their Info Below:
WhatsApp: (+1(740)258‑1417 )