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If Doctors Were Like Coders
(cross-posted from https://medium.com/@c09b6133a238/...)
Problem: The patient has a broken leg.
Solution:
1. Ask the patient to reproduce the exact scenario that resulted in the broken leg. Watch closely to see if the leg breaks again. Check for consistency by repeating the scenario a few more times.
2. Explain that this isn’t an intended use case for the leg, and besides, it only affects one person. Ask the patient if, all things considered, he really wants to prioritize his broken leg over your other work.
3. Point out that the patient’s other leg performs just fine under the same circumstances. Ask if he can use his other leg instead, at least as a workaround.
4. Attach several accelerometers to the broken leg and break it again. Stare at the data received from the accelerometers, then shrug and declare it useless.
5. Decide that the patient’s problem must be in his spleen. After all, that’s the only part of his body you don’t really understand.
6. Track down the people who created the patient. Ask them if he’s ever had spleen problems before. When they seem confused, explain that he has a broken leg. Ignore them when they tell you that the spleen they created could not possibly cause a broken leg.
7. Ask Google where a person’s spleen is. Spend half an hour reading the Wikipedia article on Splenomegaly.
8. Open the patient and grumble about how tightly-coupled his spleen and circulatory system are. Examine the spleen’s outer surface to see if there are any obvious problems. Inform him that several of his organs are very old and he should consider replacing them with something more modern.
9. Compare the spleen to some pictures of spleens online. If anything looks different, try to make it look the same.
10. Remove the spleen completely. See if the patient’s leg is still broken. If so, put the spleen back in.
11. Tell the patient that you’ve noticed his body is made almost entirely out of cellular tissue, whereas most bodies these days are made out of cardboard. Explain that cardboard is a lot easier for beginners to understand, it’s more forgiving of newbie mistakes, and it’s the tissue franca of the Internet. Ask if he’d like you to rebuild his body with cardboard. It will take you longer, but then his body would be future-proof and dead simple. He could probably even fix it himself the next time it breaks.
12. Spend some time exploring the lymph nodes in the patient’s abdominal cavity. Accidentally discover that if the patient’s leg is held immobile for six weeks, it gets better.
13. Charge the patient for six weeks of work.14 -
Please, for fucks sake people, STOP CALLING ALL FORMS OF INTERNET ACCESS WI-FI. CELLULAR ACCESS IS NOT WI-FI. FUCKING ETHERNET + FIBER OPTIC/SOME MORE COPPER CABLING/WHATEVER IS **NOT** WI-FI.12
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CEO calls the Android team in for a congratulatory speech. Likens us to tower builders in the age of cellular tech, building the infrastructure of something great. Then finishes his talk with “and when they were finished, they fired all the tower builders”
I think he was trying to joke, but it sure as hell didn’t feel like it.5 -
Unexpected expo, so i made a fast project using Conway's Game of Life Cellular Automata. Turns out only me doing things like this. Comparison on comment.
5 -
Me, explaining to my wife the difference between WiFi and Cellular as I explain why I need put the Pi from that other thread between our modem and router (and take our WiFi down) all so I can finally answer her repeated questions of "Where is all our data going???"
8 -
User where I work is convinced someone hacked her iPhone and is remotely changing settings all the time. And it’s not us (the company), the phone isn’t managed and there are no remote profiles installed.
User: I’m telling you. Things are always changing without me doing it!
Me: Alright. Do you have an exemple?
User: Yes. When I swipe here [control center] and tap the WiFi toggle, it always gets back on by itself later.
Me: Yep. That’s actually a “feature”. You don’t have to worry.
User: Alright then, this morning I couldn’t get Google Maps to work.
Me: Well. Since you turned off your cellular and WiFi, it’s normal you couldn’t look up an adress.
User: okay then what about that Bluetooth icon in the top that always appears? I know that means the hacker is on my phone through Bluetooth. See!?
Me: That’s actually just a status indicator. Don’t worry about it. It’ll always come back there it’s normal. You know, your phone can do a lot of stuff by itself.
User: Yeah right. It does it by itself. I’m not stupid you know!! *storms off*
What the hell?6 -
When you watch the new Jason Bourne and see people from CIA hacking a laptop from an Old cellular with a "shell code", or other people saying "use SQL to hack the database"3
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Is it only me who gets screwed up by such silly little things?
Last night I was working on an Android app. I connect it to a URL. It always threw exception. I scratched my head for one whole hour to find out that Cellular Data was not turned ON on the emulator. 😛1 -
"As it turns out, this world isn't all that complicated. It's pretty simple actually. It's all a game, a very simple game. Of course, some will try to make it difficult. But you can handle them, I know it. I know you can!"
There's a lot of truth in that. When you get into the depths of how the world works, things turn out to be pretty simple.
One thing I cannot rationalize though. The human spirit. The desires that it embodies. I've had this question for so long - what makes us humans human?
If for example a future surgeon - able to exchange individual cells between me and you - would do so, at which point do you become me, and the other way around? 50+% exchange? But that'd mean that at least part of me is still "you". In that state, are you truly you?
Not sure what the cellular definition of an individual is, given that we're headed towards a bionic society where synthetic organs will likely become more relevant than the donated parts of me that I've recently applied as a donor for. I wholeheartedly encourage that future, but the philosophical questions that surround it become more relevant.
How about the impact of influencers on the mind? For example, I've seen the term "certified enganeers" become a trend here, which I'm very grateful for. It does raise a question though. If for example I were to die, would the term live on? And if so, is that a part of what makes me "me"? Would a part of me live on in you? Would your spirit be partially me, due to mere influence?
What makes up the human creature anyway? I think of my own body as a mere vessel for my mind, but I can't quite grasp what makes up the mind, and philosophical questions like "if I were to upload my mind to a robot and instruct it to kill me, would that carbon copy become *me*?"
The human nature is such a weird thing.. and technology doesn't make it any simpler. Is it really just a simple game, with simple rules and e.g. a biological program running inside of a biological motor? Or is there more to it?24 -
Storm: No internet for you!
Me: *switches to 4G cellular data which seems to be mostly unaffected* Take that weather!
Storm: *all hell breaks loose outside*
Me: mkay... Going to bed anyway...3 -
Most Incompetent co-worker. It was me during my first job. Not humble bragging or some shit. I was straight out fucking incompetent during my first job.
Hear me out.
I graduated my diploma course specialising in networks(from computer to cellular/telecom networks) but I did a few programming courses and my internship was at a lab - did iOT stuffs with raspi and arduinos. I am a A+ student so was giving priority to choose a better internship place. Fun time. So I fell in love with programming. As soon as i graduated I applied for a Java job. Got a job at a domain name reseller/hosting company using java EE. Remember my programming = very basic/OOP concepts/basic SQL knowledge. That's it.
I am that little childish fucker who thought he knew everything and I kept interrupting my coworkers with stupid questions.
Same time, I was under the darkest moments of my life with some family drama/tension headaches.
2 months into the job, one coworker really got pissed off with my interruptions and bluntly told me "*my name,you are stupid aren't you"
The manager was a really nice guy. I will forever thanks him for his advices. He knew I was struggling with family shits and gave me another 3 months probation period to redeem myself. But I gave up. That was back in 2015.
It was a great place I fucked it up. But I learnt precious life lessons. I was young,stupid and didn't know how to handle stress.
I thanks myself for not quitting programming after that experience.2 -
What’s the most nonsensical habit that your non-tech-savvy friends or family have with computers or electronic devices?
Here’s mine: when my parents first got iPhones, they were deathly afraid of going over their data plan limit, so they would go into Settings and turn cellular data off whenever they weren’t actively using the phone...6 -
*packing for a school-hosted graduation celebration with friends*
let's see, first rule of packing for a trip, count on every slim chance happening...
List of things now in backpack:
3 changes of clothes (1-night trip for an all night party in <100-MILE-AWAY MAJOR CITY>)
Laptop
3DS
3x 4-port USB Hubs
10-port power strip (not fully in bag, but mostly so.)
Extra pair of shoes
3.5" external floppy drive
First aid kit
SAK
precision driver set
soldering set
multitool
pliers (1x farmer's, 1x bent needlenose)
multimeter
empty laptop HDD (250GB)
magnet in Altoids tin (can't have it trashing the HDD!)
VGA to RGB (Composite ends) adapter
Composite/S-VIDEO USB capture card
Portable USB chargers (1x 30k mAh 2-port, 1x superslim 3k mAh 1-port)
Enough phone chargers to replace all chargers within 30 miles
Smelling salts
2x 16GB thumbdrives
Boot disc set
$200
School IDs (for bag's ID slot)
3 pairs of decent earbuds (no el cheapo $1 ones because they break trying to get them out of the package)
Serial to USB adapter
Rehydration salts
Magnesium fire striker
Plenty of pens and pencils
Emergency radio locator beacon
Emergency cellular locator beacon
SD/eMMC/CF/TF/MCP(D) USB reader
external HDD reader (2.5" IDE/3.5" IDE/SATA, external power)
am i missing anything?11 -
How’s your life going?
Mine as good as the cellular signal at my location right now.
Hope everyone is ok.
5 -
telco sysadmin: hey maybe we should secure our SMTP server with SSL and password verification so our clients can e-mail safely!
senior exec be like: nah just filter incoming connections for our own IP-range, that'll do.
result: I can impersonate any client of the telco and send e-mail in their name (from any home network connected to that provider), but I can't send e-mail over cellular network.1 -
Why does D-Link make absolutely useless drivers? I've bought a USB modem in order to use cellular with my laptop, and the controlling software absolutely sucks. Often it doesn't recognize the device even though it's plugged in, other times it randomly decides that there's no service despite my phone right next to it getting 4 bars. This fucking piece of shit cost 30€, and it's shipped with a proprietary piece of software that's so bad it was probably written by an intern for half the price of a single device.4
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I'm on a train which doesn't have any WiFi. And the connection to my cellular is damn near none. Thank God for devRant, which does not need that much to run!4
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fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
cones have cellular automata patterns
fuck
why it is so creepy
how
why
fucking matrix
7 -
I was under fire right now.
One cellular company, Idea, whose Internet service works really good, was blocking port 22.
And other, BSNL, which works terrible at my home, and is not working recently, since last few days( Maybe be data pack was over ), atleast support port 22.
Just got the call from client who has to send sms to all its clients, immediately. So BSNL was not working. And Idea was not supporting port 22.
Still, I gave IDEA Cellular, a try, and luckily it worked today. They started supporting port 22, at the right time.
My ASS is Saved -
After doubting Deepin OS for 4 days and slangs to Windows, it turns out, ISP is blocking the port 22, which is why I was not able to communicate to my instance through SSH.
One of the major Cellular company and Fastest 4G in the whole country, 'Idea', is blocking the vital port 22. The same company promoted it's Internet service through chain of adv. calling it's Cellular Internet network, "Idea Internet Network (IIN)". Only to make it sound like IIT, IIMs ( elite indian colleges). Check on YouTube, IIN, if available3 -
Incoming 5G-network's coverage is being resolved with natural ways
Finnish communication agency is figuring out ways to install mobile mini cell towers to moose and deer. The goal is to enhance network coverage in low density living areas. Safety of the network would be ensured with injections and deworming. Prototypes have been tested with voluntary public servants, and the results have been promising.
4 -
What fantastic bullshittery.
When a client calls on a private number and that for some reason blocks you from calling back. -
I wrote a cellular automaton in university (elementary game of life). It was generating shapes but it just didn't work. It seemed like the shapes would degrade as they went until they caved into some mesh of pixels.
Turns out that when counting the number of neighbours around a cell, I was counting from 2 because of an earlier bug.
The really interesting thing about this bug though was that it made sense. There were too many people and the resources ran out, which meant the patterns that would normally survive were dying off early.
It's a bug, but not a bug. -
Does any one feel devrant is slow to load rants and images on mobile app? Tried both cellular and multiple wifis. Internet doesn't seem to be the problem here
This seems to be happening for a few weeks now8 -
First day back at work, lunch time now. So far I've been to one meeting and done no work. I can't get on to the vpn. We get OTP for the vpn via sms. Sms is taking so long to come through that it always expired by the time I get it
The kicker? I work for a cellular provider1 -
How is complaining about npm install taking forever still a thing? I reinstalled my whole npm folder over cellular the other day while talking shit over coffee... relatively quick as fuck.
In saying that though, it should definitely only pull necessary requirements to run the project not every fucking thing. -
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Hope this information helps someone!
13 -
Harness the Power of Healing Frequencies with Roxanne Hotchkiss, Healer & Intuitive Coach
At Roxanne Hotchkiss Healer - Intuitive Coach, we understand the profound impact that energy has on our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. One powerful tool that can help facilitate healing is healing frequencies—vibrational energy that resonates at specific rates to restore balance, promote wellness, and activate the body's natural healing processes.
Located at Ebury Street, London SW1W, Roxanne uses the transformative power of healing frequencies to help you restore harmony within your mind, body, and spirit. Whether you are looking to heal from trauma, release emotional blockages, or elevate your overall well-being, healing frequencies can offer a profound and effective solution.
What Are Healing Frequencies?
Healing frequencies refer to specific vibrations or sound frequencies that are known to have a positive effect on the body, mind, and spirit. These frequencies work by resonating with your own energy fields, helping to restore balance, clear blockages, and promote healing on a cellular level.
Every living being is made up of energy, and each part of the body vibrates at its own unique frequency. When we are in balance, our energy vibrates harmoniously, but when there are blockages or imbalances, our frequencies can become distorted, leading to physical or emotional dis-ease. Healing frequencies help to realign the energy field, clear blockages, and restore harmony to the body and mind.
Some of the most common types of healing frequencies include:
Solfeggio Frequencies: These ancient frequencies are believed to have healing properties that resonate with the body’s natural vibrations. They include specific tones like 396 Hz (Liberation from Fear), 417 Hz (Undoing the Negative), and 528 Hz (Transformation and Miracles).
Binaural Beats: This technique involves playing two slightly different frequencies in each ear, creating a perceived third frequency that can help with relaxation, focus, or deep meditation.
528 Hz (Love Frequency): This frequency is known as the “miracle” tone and is associated with DNA repair, healing, and emotional balance.
Theta Waves (4-8 Hz): These frequencies are associated with deep meditation, relaxation, and the subconscious mind, often used for deep healing and spiritual growth.
The Science Behind Healing Frequencies
The idea behind healing frequencies is rooted in the concept that everything in the universe, including our bodies, is made up of energy that vibrates at specific frequencies. When our vibrations are in harmony, we experience well-being and vitality, but when our energy becomes stagnant or misaligned, we may experience physical pain, emotional distress, or spiritual disconnection.
Studies have shown that sound waves, particularly those at specific frequencies, can have a profound impact on the human body. For example, research suggests that exposure to healing frequencies can promote relaxation, reduce stress, improve sleep quality, and even stimulate healing at the cellular level.
Healing frequencies also activate the body's natural healing response, supporting the release of trapped emotions, trauma, and stress. As a result, they can promote deep emotional healing, spiritual growth, and physical well-being.
How Roxanne Hotchkiss Uses Healing Frequencies in Her Practice
At Roxanne Hotchkiss Healer - Intuitive Coach, Roxanne integrates healing frequencies into her healing sessions to support clients in their personal transformation. Through the use of sound therapy, guided meditation, and energy healing, Roxanne helps clients experience the power of healing frequencies to release blockages, activate their body’s healing potential, and restore balance to their lives.
Here’s how Roxanne uses healing frequencies to support your journey:
1. Sound Healing Sessions
Roxanne uses sound therapy in her practice, incorporating instruments like tuning forks, singing bowls, and chimes that resonate at specific healing frequencies. These sound vibrations are carefully selected to align with the chakras, clear blockages, and promote a deep sense of relaxation and healing.
During sound healing sessions, you will:
Experience the soothing vibrations of sound waves that penetrate deep into your energy field.
Clear emotional and physical blockages that may be preventing you from achieving balance and wellness.
Enter a deeply relaxed state, which allows for deeper healing and self-awareness.
1 -
Shady Business Cypress: Your Trusted Window Treatment Professionals in Cypress, TX
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