I used to work with a guy who had 2 PH.Ds, in Computer Science and Electrical Engineering and over 600 patents but I kid you not the guy could not use the coffee machine. Now it's not like this coffee machine was as easy as a Keurig, it was some $20,000 espresso machine that took a while to figure out but I tried teaching him how to use it a few dozen times and still he couldn't get it right. It got to the point where I thought he was faking it so that others would make it for him so I offered him $500 if he could figure it out. Still nope. So for the remaining 2 years we worked together I made him coffee whenever he wanted, 2-4 times a day, and he bought me lunch everyday. Before I left the company I bought him a Keurig so that when I left he'd still have coffee.

First world problems...

I've been working at this startup as a tech lead for a little over a year, and we've grown from 3 to over 150 employees, and a bit over a million end users.

I've spent tens of thousands on high end displays and chairs for your lazy butts, on external consultants to help and train you, even those fucking dirty recruiters have leeched their shares of the pie. I built an amazing luxury kitchen with a fridge, beer cooler, induction plates and a blender for all your crossfitting bodybuilder meals, but forgot to think of my own needs.

NOW I JUST WANT TO BUY A GOOD COFFEEMAKER AND ALL THESE FUCKING TEASLURPING FAKE DEV-BROS SUDDENLY START SCREAMING ABOUT BUDGETS AND HOW COFFEE IS NOT NECESSARY IF YOU MEDITATE. FUCK YOU, WE'RE LIKE THE ONLY STARTUP IN THE COUNTRY RUNNING A FAT PROFIT. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID MINDFULNESS IOS APP. GIVE ME MY FUCKING ESPRESSO OR I'LL BLEND YOUR BALLS INTO A PROTEIN SHAKE.

When I first started in IT 10 years ago I thought my coworker was pretty weird: every day she brought a coffee mug to the coffee machine and filled it by punching the "espresso" button 7 times. Little did I know this was just a sneak peak into my future...

I hate RGB. I write #C0FF1E but dont get a creamy espresso brown. Getting a puke green instead. Fukk.

Stumbled upon this old gold on reddit. If I tell you that my monitor is now not covered in accidentally spat out espresso, I'd be lying. 😂😂😂

Senior C++ developer:
"Writing a custom encryption algorithm from scratch for our communications platform? Every developer knows that is an absolute no go, cryptography should be left to cryptography veterans!"

Same guy, year later:
"Blockchains? Hold my espresso, I can totally write a whitepaper on cryptography, write some shitty code with nice branding, and get millions from an ICO"

!rant

I joined last night, this place its just insane, I don't even know how I managed to go through life without it... This is it, I found my place on earth; devRant...

WHOOO!!!

Hello again, everyone. As Sunday comes to a close, and Monday is fast approaching, I'll share with you the likely cause of my death by stroke and/or heart attack:
MONDAY MORNING COFFEE OF HORROR
Disclaimer: Do NOT try this. I am a professional addict. I am not responsible for anything this brew from hell causes to you and/or those around you.
So, I wake up, feeling like I haven't slept for days, or just notice the fucking alarm clock shrieking because I pulled an all-nighter.
Step 1: Silence alarm clock via mild violence.
Step 2: Get the coffee machine to brew some filter coffee (espresso works too)
Step 3: Get milk and ice cubes from the fridge (both are needed, I don't care if you don't like milk, trust me)
Step 4: Get 2 spoonfuls (not tea spoon, and actually FULL spoonfuls) into the biggest glass you have
Step 5: Pour just a little of the warm filter coffee into the glass, just to get the instant coffee wet enough, and start mixing, until the result looks like the horror you unleashed in your toilet a few minutes ago (and will do so again in a few)
Step 6: Mix in 25-50 ml milk, just for the aesthetic change of colour of the devil-brew, and to add the necessary amount of lactic acid to react with the coffee to produce chemical X
Step 7: Add ice cubes to taste (if you are new to this, add a lot)
Step 8. Slowly add the filter coffee while mixing furiously, so that the light brown paste at the bottom get dissolved (it's harder than it sounds)
Now, take a deep breath. Before you is a disgusting brew undergoing a chemical reaction, and your moves need to be precise otherwise it will explode. Note that sugar or any other form of sweetener is FORBIDDEN, as it will block the reaction chain and the result won't be as potent.
Take a straw (a big one, not those needle-like ones that some cafeterias give to fool you into believing that the coffee is more than 150ml). Put it inside the mix, and check that the route to the bathroom is free of obstacles.
Now, clench your abs, close your nose if you are new to this, grab the straw and DRINK!
DRINK LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW!
THAT BROWN DEVIL'S BILE WILL HAVE YOUR INTESTINES SPASM AND DANCE THE MACARENA WHILE TWIRLING A HULA HOOP!
YOUR HEART WILL GO OVERDRIVE HARDER THAN YOUR PC'S CPU WHEN COMPILING ON ECLIPSE AND BROWSING WITH IE AT THE SAME TIME.
The combination of caffeine and lactic acid will bring out the perfectly disgusting combination of sour and bitter usually expected in rotting lemons. After you manage to chug it down (DON'T SPILL OR SPIT ANY!) you have 30 - 60 seconds max to run to the porcelain throne, where you will spend the next 30-60 minutes.
After that, nothing can stop you! You will fix bugs, write entire codebases from scratch, punch that annoying coworker, punch that boss! You will be a demigod among mortals for the next 6-8 hours!
Your recipes for Monday morning coffee?

True story.
Some clients (especially in India) don't want to pay, but they want everything to be implemented in the project.

Big data.... Check
Machine learning.... Check
Deep learning..... Check
Espresso maker.... Check.

They want all the buzz words that are buzzing to be put in your project and they want you to put it in the 'cloud', for which you have to pay.....

Late in the afternoon right before closing time I wandered into a lunch-having nice little place. There was noone and my sleep-deprived self ordered an espresso. The ~25yrs old barista was kind and smiling and while I was adding some milk to my coffee she suddenly asked:

'Are you an IT guy?'

In shock I said: 'Okay, yes, I do wear glasses and drink coffe, but how did you know?'

'I didn't, but... my printer isn't working at home, can you tell me why?'

At this point I bursted out in laughter and realized that to most people I am a printer fixer. We all are, aren't we?

1. Slack. Pretty good chat app for dev companies, I use it to prevent people standing next to my desk 40 times a day.

2. Unit testing tools, especially when fully automated using a git master branch hook, something like codeship/jenkins, and a deployment service.

3. Jetbrains IDEs. I love Vim, but Jetbrains makes theming, autocompleting & code style checks with mixed templating languages a breeze.

4. Urxvt terminal. It's a bit of work at the start, but so extremely fast and customizable.

5. Cinnamon or i3. Not really dev tools, but both make it easy to organize many windows.

6. A smart production bug logger. I tend to use Bugsnag, Rollbar or Sentry.

7. A good coffee machine. Preferably some high pressure espresso maker which costs more than the CEO's car, using organic fairtrade hipster beans with a picture of a laughing south american farmer. And don't you dare fuck it up with sugar.

8. Some high quality bars of chocolate. Not to consume yourself, but to offer to coworkers while they wait for you to fix a broken deploy. The importance of office politics is not to be underestimated.

Since everyone is posting their setup

I gotta say... this shit is actually really strong especially when you grind it to espresso “dust”.... and put it in a Moka Pot.... don’t drink more than 2 coffee cups full .... it’s crazy

I had this a while ago. I just pulled an all-nighter because of some servers issues so I went to a coffee shop at my usual train station on my way to my study to get an espresso. I had some difficulties with keeping my eyes open and then these teenage girls walked towards the starbucks (nope I don't do starbucks) saying something like 'Oh my god I need caffeine otherwise I won't survive today omg'.

Five minutes later they came walking out with a few huge 'coffees' with shitloads of milk and whipped cream.

I kept myself sane but I just really wanted to scream 'THAT"S NOT COFFEE/CAFFEINE, THAT"S FUCKING DESERT YOU FUCKING FUCKWITS'.
I really couldn't stand those girls at that moment nope.

I ordered a reduction sieve for my espresso cooker from Amazon, but got this instead (Euro coin for size comparison). They'll resend the correct article, but WTF is this shit even?! Crazy crap!

VSCodium, just for a little moment, please go fuck yourself.

I mostly use netbeans but for just a little I'm using VSCodium (VSCode without the Microsoft calling home bullshit).

Just had this error I didn't see that fast and then, usually, whenever you put your cursor on the tee underlined code, it tells you the error in this drive-by popup thingy.

The goddamn popup disappears so fucking quick that its impossible to read.

Ended up trying to capture a screenshot in time which worked at try number 10+, then saw the error and corrected it.

VSCodium go fuck yourself. I'm not ready for this shit when I've just woken up and haven't fully drank my first coffee yet (or this is more like a triple espresso as for strength)

😡

My mom bought my very Italian boyfriend an espresso maker for his birthday. He bought the best Italian espresso grounds he could find here in Germany, and we just had a cup at 10pm (our sleep schedules are fucked up).

I've had a lot of coffee and a lot of espresso in my life, but right now I feel like if I jumped hard enough I could fucking fly. I feel like bashing my head through my computer screen for no particular reason. I feel like I could divide by zero and be OK.

Holy shit you Italians are fucking crazy.

Opening the bag...

Stuck my nose in it. Deeeeeeep breath.

Better than sex.

Taking the scale, getting the right amount.

Feeding the grinder, thinking about whom to kill... Watching get them torn to pieces, shredded bit by bit.

Preheating the iron, getting the water up to temperature.

Filling up the espresso can, turning it on.

Boiling fresh espresso.

Nothing's sexier than the sound of the steam and the smell of fresh grinded and brewed espresso.

Good Sunday.

Tripple double espresso... GO!!

For months I was weak and tired. All the stupid IT work drained me of power to develop cool stuff during the nights.

And then I discovered my wunderwaffe- machine capsule-espresso.

Oh boy that shit is amazing.

Kiki’s Autistic Stories!

Living with synaesthesia is very interesting. To me, drinks, especially homogenous and complex ones like espresso or vine, make sound I can describe. This is a system, this is not random. People are agreeing with me. Colours have taste.

But I fear just one thing. There is a certain colour, especially when it’s a glass of that colour, that “tastes” so fucking bitter sweet that it gives me migraine. When I see it, I have to immediately close my eyes, go away, do something to forget it, otherwise migraine. Somehow, thinking of it is unpleasant, but thinking alone doesn’t induce a migraine.

What I have in my mind for my future plan as professional developer :
"I need my own Espresso machine"

I'm a 18 year old student doing IT Management and ATM I have group assignment that the group wants me to do alone, its not even 8 AM and I'm already drinking a double espresso and I'm very close to getting a beer

!rant but wondering,
I'm doing Instrumented test for my android app, and wrote that code to check if the fragment loads data and click on first item and check if all is working as expected, am I doing it right?

Any help would be great :)
Warning: LIGHT theme ahead, room brightness is higher than my screen and I can't see shit in dark theme :\

Before I decided to switch careers (PM to Dev) I would drink coffee, black, sometimes with 2+ shots of espresso on those nasty days...

It's been 18 months into this transition and I find that by about 9AM a strong dark coffee with 1+ shots of whiskey is required on any day...

No regrets on the switch, Just didn't see that coming is all...

!rant

Dont know if it's the fact that I feel good about my life situation right now, or because of the good weather or just the fact that I had 4 shots of espresso for breakfast but I'm full of good vibes

So, it's too hot, but I'm still quite caffeine dependent so: Espresso on the rocks (add milk and ice coffee mix if you so desire)

Cappuccino, Espresso, Espresso Doppio, Latte Macchiato...
Oh just basically caffeine... Makes the code more shiny!

At the office, I've recently gone from drinking double cappuccinos to cappuccino with a shot of espresso.
Am I becoming closer to senior developer?

So i was working on an android app that communicate with restfull web service. I setup everything , started the web service api at localhost and launched the app on genymotion (virtual machine android) .Nothing seems to work . I checked the code , debugged some stuff and it turns out i couldn't communicate with the api server. I tested the api on my browser and nothing is wrong ,I tried to test on the phone vm browser and voila 404 not found . How the hell it's working on my windows and not on the vm (with localhost url :/ ) .I kept debugging for more then 3 hours with no solution to be found .
The moment I realised wtf I'm doing and how stupid I was => shut down my laptop went to coffee shop and bought a lifeless dark espresso .

In case you didn't understand what the issue is, I was running the api on my windows localhost and testing it with same url on my android vm (I should've changed localhost with my machine IP )

i had an epiphany today, in a discussion with the software architect of our new project.

i'm having the epic job to design & implement a prototype for a C++ library in a new software project and collected some inspiration in our "old" software, where i'm maintaining the module that fulfills the same functionality (i thought). i've been maintaining this module for around a year now. i analyzed the different features and stuff to consider and created a partial model of the new library.

when i showed it to the architect today, he was like "oh my god, no no no, you don't need all this functionality, this shall not be part of the new library!"

this was the moment when i realized how deeply fucked up the code base of the old module is.

imagine it like this:
you want to automate the process of making yourself a good ol' cup of coffee.
the reasonable thing would be to have

- a smart water boiler where you set parameters water temperature and amount of water to be fetched from the water supply
- a smart coffee bean grinder where you can set type of beans, amount of beans and grinding fineness
- a component where water and ground coffee are joined to brew the coffee, where parameters like duration, pressure etc. are set
- a milk tank where amount of milk, desired temperature and duration / speed of foaming can be set
- a sugar dispenser where amount of applied sugar can be set
- optionally, additional modules with spices, syrup, ice cubes, whatever for your very personal coffee experience

on requesting a coffee, you would then configure and orchestrate all components to your wishes to make you a fine cup of coffee. you can also add routines like "makeCappucchino()", "makeEspresso()", or whatever.

our software is not like this.
it is like this:
- a smart water boiler consisting of submodules that know how to cook water for e.g. "cappucchino with sugar" or for "espresso without sugar, but with milk and ice cubes"
- 5 smart bean grinders that know how to grind beans for e.g. cappucchino, espresso, latte macchiato and for 73ml of water preheated to 82°C
- a very smart sugar dispenser that knows how to add sugar to 95, 98 and 100°C coffee and to coffee made of BOTH coffee arabica AND coffee robusta beans.

etc. etc., i think you're getting the gist.

when i realized this, it was like, right in front of my eyes, this terrible pattern emerged like a foul, corrupted caleidoscope of chaos, through the whole code base of this module.
i've already known how rotten from the core this code base is, but today i've actually identified a really bad pattern that i hadn't realized before. the whole architecture is so bloated that it is hard to have an overview of the whole thing. and it would require a LOT of refactoring to repair this pattern.
but i guess it would also be infinitely satisfying because i could probably reduce the code base for 30% or something...

but unfortunately, this is never going to happen, because screw refactoring.

it's a great feeling to start this new library from scratch, tho...

Just shielded my laptop and his from this coworker's coffee. Not all heroes wear capes but sure its not very pleasant to be a walking espresso so FUCK EVERYBODY

Had bad depression on Friday and Saturday. Really really really bad. Like planning stupid shit bad. Stupid shit in my life. Whatever...

So my friend says he doesn't feel well unless he uses St. Johns Wort. I used to use it 10 years ago, but kind of forgot about it. It did help. Well now I use risperidone to manage depression with bipolar. I got some wort and took it sunday. Huge difference in 3 hours. Way TOO high response. I already posted about this before.

Today I go see Dr to check if this is okay. I told him I don't want to stop. It seems to have leveled out. He said risperidone with wort can produce mania. However, he said reduce amount of wort to 1 every other day. So it won't have as high of peaks. Cool cool. A solution that doesn't cost an arm and leg. Also a doctor who listens. We had a lot to talk about. I would golf with him if I knew how to golf. Yes, he is that cool.

He told me a funny thing last time I was there. He said you are old enough to need a prostate check, but they do them chemically now. Then he says, but for $20 we can work something else out. Anyway, I like him.

I also noticed before this that caffeine wasn't doing shit for me anymore. But today I had a low kick espresso coffee (1 cup). Wort + risperidone + caffeine is different world now. So I gotta be careful of caffeine now too.

For a long time I was so depressed and didn't realize it. I was hoping I wouldn't wake up in the morning. I don't know how I got to this point. I have great things going for me. So I am making lists of warning signs I experienced when I was very low. Probably going to get some counseling too.

I knew I needed to improve things on some level, but no motivation to do so before this week. I bought a treadmill intending to connect it to my computer and control it. Treadmill has been sitting in a room at my house since january untouched. I keep buying electronics and never setting them up. I don't even know if they work. Just stupid shit like that.

If you are in the shit, then talk to someone. If you don't know you are in the shit then ask someone. If you have to shit all the time you are probably @b2plane.

Seriously people. You are worth the trouble of finding out how to fix your shit.

Anyway ManicOne out.

I woke up pumped as hell this morning, it was gonna be the most productive day in history, I was gonna finish that fucking Rails app I've been dragging on for long enough, maybe even go out and get a girlfriend... Then I went to the kitchen and the fucking espresso it's over... Fuck this shit I'm going back to bed.

Anyone use the coffee machine as a distraction when bored and between projects ?
Just trying out the different varieties... We have this weird "Espressochock" that's basically hot chocolate with a shot of espresso, shit is weird...

So, you COULD make a remarkably simple SDK to upload files that needs little documentation, OR we could make an SDK that is basically impossible without three triple-shots worth of espresso and 20 Stack Overflow windows. I think we'll take the more frustrating one

Spacemacs, espresso and instrumental songs in the background.

Do you guys drink black coffee or espresso etc?

What the fuck is happenning with android? Latest AS 3.4.1 and SDK 29(Q+) does not allow normal app compat artifcats for a new project and whole project needs to be developed with androidx.* artifacts.

And their androidx.* artifacts are fucking incomplete: i wanna test recycler view clicks and here i am , fucking myself on how to do so, coz The espresso RecyclerViewActions api is in android.espresso...* package and not androidx.espresso...*
FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU ANDROID WHY DO THIS TO ME WHY WHYWHY!!!!!

best zone will be rain... lots of it and a touch of coolness in the air... also the espresso machine from arms reaching distance.

Okay, so not eating has become a major problem now. This morning when i got out of bed and stood up, i fell backwards in to my bed again. I couldn't see anything, all black. A few minutes went past and i got back on my feet, got dressed and headed to school.

The thing is, a day can go past and i won't feel hungry at all. But i have to eat, but i don't.

Am i the only one with this problem?

Another thing that is happening is that when i get home from school i sit down in front of my computer and start to write some code, hours fly by and there goes that day, no homework done either.

No food, no homework. Only coding. I think i have a serious problem 😂.

On a side note, a few days ago i tasted coffee for the first time, and now i can't resist buying a cappuccino/latte when i walk past espresso house in the morning.

Here's a interesting question, why the fuck did you waste your time reading this? 😂

So turns out my manager wants me to do QA automation (not in Espresso btw) of my own items "because we're all in the same team". The weirdest thing is that she's obsessed with "best practices" about daily iteration work such as not starting to work on something until test planning is done (she gets CRAYZEEE about that). Violating one of the core development principles is out the window so I guess the question is am I in a good place to ask for a raise since I'm going to have dual roles?

I wasn't too into the cold brew thing. Tasted shitty and why do it when you can have a good espresso?

But.

I bought a cold brew bottle couple of weeks ago and I am enjoying it too much. Cool in summer, better than cola, cheaper caffeine and all I need is just a glass. And tastes good if it is not chilled!
I hope my coffee packs don't go stale while I indulge myself.

Espresso, Headphones, chillstep.

DIGITAL TECH GUARD RECOVERY / FASTEST CRYPTOCURRENCY RECOVERY EXPERT

WhatsApp: +1 (443) 859 - 2886
Email @ digital tech guard . com
Telegram: digital tech guard . com
Website link: digital tech guard . com

The scent of freshly brewed espresso and vintage Led Zeppelin records should have been my retirement anthem. But I was hunched over a computer in my still-under-construction vinyl record cafe, screaming at a blockchain explorer as if it just ridiculed my acoustic session. My life savings, $430,000 worth of Bitcoin, carefully earned over a decade of writing alt-rock ballads for car commercials, vanished into thin air. The culprit? Some smooth "investment manager" who'd promised me "Taylor Swift-level returns" on crypto staking, then bailed faster than my band's 2008 reunion tour.  The scam was a cringe symphony. Guy had a LinkedIn profile dotted with adjectives such as "Web3 maestro" and "DeFi virtuoso," an autotuned elevator jazz playing website, and a contractual loophole big enough to drive a tour bus through. I signed over access like a groupie handing over backstage passes. Poof. Gone. Money. My café's espresso machine sat in its box, accusatorially. My spouse said I needed to "get a real job again." Even my dog gave me the side eye. Enter my drummer, Chad, a guy who had escaped a festival pyro tragedy by jumping into a kiddie pool. He texted me: "Bro, look at Digital Tech Guard Recovery. They're crypto Roadies." I pictured a group of pierced hackers in black hoodies, blowing gum and cracking firewalls. Good enough.
Digitals crew followed the scambot's trail with the ferocity of a producer hunting for the perfect bassline.
The crook had routed my Bitcoin through privacy coins, obscured wallets, and exchanges located in countries that I couldn't spell. Their engineers stalked his path like a creep watching a pop star's concert tour schedule, in cooperation with Interpol and a Cypriot bank used also as a hub for meme stocks. As it turns out, my "maestro" had become careless, stashing money in a wallet associated with a failed NFT venture named "Aping for Jesus." Typical. Sixteen days later, my wallet beeped. Balance returned. No taunting, only a curt email: "Scammer's assets frozen. Your money's back. Buy better speakers." I blasted "Eye of the Tiger" through the café sound system, shocking a hipster with oat milk. The espresso machine finally came online. Digital Tech Guard Recovery didn't just restore my cryptocurrency; they wrote the encore for my midlife crisis. My café exists today, littered with grail-worthy records on the walls and a tip cup emblazoned "ETH accepted." Chad's no longer on the espresso machine, but he's got free coffee for life.
If your cryptocurrency is ever swindled by a cyber rockstar, don't go into existential tailspin. Call the Digitals. They'll turn your faceplant into a victory lap. Just maybe screen your "maestros" harder than your band's setlist.

Blenz Coffee: Your Cozy Café Destination on Edmonton’s North Side

Looking for a welcoming café in Edmonton's North Side? Whether you’re a local or just visiting, Blenz Coffee at North Town Centre is the perfect place to enjoy high-quality coffee in a relaxed, cozy atmosphere. Located at 9404 137 Ave NW, Edmonton, AB T5E 6C2, Blenz Coffee is more than just a place to grab a quick cup—it's a community-oriented coffee shop where you can unwind, work, or catch up with friends while sipping on your favorite beverages.

Why Blenz Coffee is the Best Café in Edmonton’s North Side
If you’ve ever found yourself searching for coffee near me, Blenz Coffee should be your first stop. Located conveniently in the North Town Centre, Blenz is a neighborhood gem known for its exceptional coffee, delicious baked goods, and friendly service. The café's welcoming environment makes it the perfect place for everyone—from busy professionals to students, families, and casual coffee lovers.

At Blenz Coffee, we are committed to delivering a premium coffee experience every time. Our baristas are skilled and passionate about their craft, carefully brewing each cup with the finest ingredients. Whether you prefer a rich espresso, a creamy latte, or a refreshing iced coffee, Blenz Coffee has something to suit every taste.

Discover High-Quality Coffee and Specialty Drinks
When you step into Blenz Coffee, you can expect more than just an average cup of coffee. Our menu features a variety of drinks made with premium beans and fresh ingredients, ensuring that every sip is full of flavor. If you're in search of coffee near me, you can trust that Blenz will deliver an outstanding cup, whether you're in the mood for a classic espresso or a creative seasonal drink.

Some of our most popular drinks include:

Signature Lattes: From the creamy vanilla latte to the rich caramel and hazelnut options, our lattes are a customer favorite.
Espresso Drinks: Enjoy the full intensity of our espresso, whether served as a classic shot or as part of a flavorful cappuccino or macchiato.
Iced Coffee: Perfect for warmer days, our iced coffee drinks are both refreshing and energizing, offering the perfect balance of bold coffee flavor.
Blended Beverages: If you're craving something indulgent, our blended coffee drinks are a delicious, frothy treat.
We also offer matcha lattes and a variety of tea options for those who prefer a non-coffee alternative. Whether you're looking for something sweet and creamy or bold and energizing, we have a drink to satisfy every craving.

A Cozy Café Experience in North Edmonton
Blenz Coffee isn’t just a place to grab a drink—it’s a spot to relax, work, or enjoy a conversation. Our comfortable seating, free Wi-Fi, and quiet atmosphere make Blenz Coffee a great place to get some work done or catch up on emails. It’s also an ideal destination to unwind and enjoy your favorite drink while reading a book or simply people-watching in a cozy, friendly setting.

If you’re looking for a peaceful spot to enjoy your coffee away from the hustle and bustle of the city, Blenz Coffee provides the perfect retreat. Whether you’re meeting a friend, holding a casual meeting, or just enjoying some downtime, Blenz is a comfortable and welcoming space for all.

Freshly Baked Pastries to Complement Your Coffee
No visit to Blenz Coffee is complete without indulging in our selection of freshly baked pastries and snacks. From warm croissants and muffins to decadent cookies and cakes, our treats are the perfect complement to your coffee or tea. We take pride in offering a variety of options, from light snacks to indulgent sweets, so you can find something to pair with your drink.

If you're feeling hungry or just in the mood for something sweet, be sure to try one of our delicious pastries. They’re made fresh daily and are the perfect way to enhance your coffee experience.

Why Choose Blenz Coffee in Edmonton’s North Side?
Convenient Location: Blenz Coffee is ideally located in North Town Centre, making it easy to stop by for your daily coffee fix. Whether you're shopping, running errands, or just passing through, Blenz is a convenient and welcoming stop for coffee lovers in North Edmonton.

Exceptional Coffee: Our beans are carefully sourced, and every cup is brewed to perfection by skilled baristas. Whether you prefer a strong espresso or a creamy latte, you can count on Blenz Coffee to deliver the best.

Cozy, Inviting Atmosphere: With comfortable seating and a relaxed ambiance, Blenz Coffee is a great place to work, study, or simply unwind. It’s the perfect café for those looking to escape the busy pace of daily life.

Friendly, Personalized Service: Our baristas are passionate about coffee and are dedicated to ensuring every customer has a positive experience. Whether you're a regular or a first-time visitor, we’ll make sure you feel right at home.

The ground trembled like a nervous intern on espresso shots. One minute, I was monitoring my geothermal Bitcoin miners, humming in harmony with Iceland's most unpredictable volcano. Next? An eruption painted the sky gray with ash, raining destruction like an out-of-control blockchain fork. Power cables flickered out. Servers turned into abstract-art pieces. And my wallet with $460,000 worth of mining revenue fried faster than a motherboard in a tidal wave of lava. I was knee-deep in volcanic mud, clutching the charred wallet, wondering if the universe had a vendetta against renewable energy. For weeks, I’d played geothermal gambler, harnessing Earth’s anger to mine crypto. Now, Mother Nature had countered with a literal power move. My wallet’s backups? Corrupted by ash-clogged drives. My cold storage? Warmer than a freshly erupted fissure. Even the volcanologists on my team shrugged. “We predict lava, not ledger errors,” one said, handing me a business card signed at the edges. “Try these Cyber Constable Intelligence. They’ve fixed crypto in weird places.” Cyber Constable Intelligence phoned on the first ring. Cyber Constable Intelligence saved not just crypto. They demonstrated that even the fury of nature cannot surpass human tenacity. My operation now operates robustly, excavating coins with Earth's anger and a backup generator sufficient to run a small glacier. The volcano? Still grumbling. My wallet? Locked inside a fireproof safe, as irony bites sharper than an Icelandic winter.
If your crypto somehow gets smothered beneath the pyroclastic ash of life, skip the freak-out. Call the Cybers. They'll dig through lava streams until your cash bubbles up to the surface. Just maybe set up your rigs a few miles closer to the crater next time. If you’re facing a similar problem I highly recommend contacting Cyber Constable Intelligence
📞 WhatsApp:+1 (2 5 2 ) 3 7 8 7 6 1 1

🌐 Website: www cyberconstableintelligence com

📩 Telegram: h t t ps :/ / t . me / cyberconstable

Any other fans of Espresso for macOS? Love the app, hate how the developer abandons and then rewrites it on a 3-year cycle 😄

Degani Malvern East – Proud to Be Part of a Leading Australian Café Brand

Looking for a local café that delivers exceptional coffee, delicious food, and a warm community feel? Degani Malvern East, located at 255 Waverley Rd, Malvern East VIC 3145, offers everything you'd expect from a top-tier Australian café brand. As part of a respected café chain in Australia, Degani brings consistency, quality, and creativity to every plate and cup—making us a favorite in the local Melbourne café scene.

A Trusted Café Chain in Australia

Degani is proud to be a well-established café chain in Australia, known for delivering the perfect blend of local charm and national quality standards. At Degani Malvern East, we maintain the values the brand is known for: premium ingredients, expertly crafted coffee, and a relaxed, inviting atmosphere that reflects our vibrant Melbourne roots.

An Australian Café Brand with a Local Heart

As an Australian café brand that started with humble beginnings, Degani has grown across the country while keeping its local café culture at its core. At our Malvern East location, we bring that spirit to life every day—offering the perfect space to relax, catch up, work, or simply enjoy great food and coffee.

One of the Best Coffee Shops in Melbourne

Searching for the best coffee shops in Melbourne? Degani Malvern East delivers coffee that’s rich, smooth, and consistently excellent. Our skilled baristas craft each cup using premium beans, ensuring your espresso, cappuccino, or iced latte is made to perfection. Whether you're grabbing a takeaway or settling in for a long coffee break, you’ll taste the quality in every sip.

Melbourne Brunch Spots That Stand Out

Among Melbourne brunch spots, Degani Malvern East offers a standout experience with an all-day brunch menu that’s both diverse and satisfying. From fluffy pancakes and smashed avo to protein bowls and artisan toasties, our dishes are made fresh to order using quality ingredients. Whether you’re a traditional breakfast lover or into modern, health-conscious choices, we have something to match every brunch mood.

Café Vibes Melbourne Locals Love

At Degani Malvern East, you’ll find the kind of café vibes Melbourne is famous for—laid-back yet lively, stylish yet welcoming. With comfortable seating, both indoor and outdoor spaces, and a community-focused ambiance, our café is the perfect place to slow down, reconnect, and recharge. Whether you're here for work, conversation, or quiet time, our space is designed to feel like your local escape.

Why Choose Degani Malvern East

Degani Malvern East is more than just a café—it’s your go-to destination for quality food, great coffee, and authentic Melbourne café culture. Whether you're a local resident, a weekend wanderer, or just exploring what Malvern East has to offer, we’re here to serve you with a smile.

What makes us unique:

Part of a trusted and established Australian café brand

Consistently high-quality food and coffee

Signature brunch menu served all day

Ideal café vibes for relaxing or working

Pet-friendly outdoor seating and family-friendly service

Contact Us

Degani Malvern East
Address: 255 Waverley Rd, Malvern East VIC 3145, Australia
Phone: +61 3 8766 0676
Opening Hours: Open Daily – Morning to Late