Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
Search - "what are you doing"
-
Bf: what you doing?
Me: coding
Bf: do you ever stop working?!
Me: I'm not 'working', I'm doing my own project.
Bf: but you do that at work. Why do you want to keep doing it?
Me: it's fun?
--- a few days later ---
Bf: what you doing?
Me: reading.
Bf: omg you're not coding! What are you reading?
Me: a book about coding
Bf: *faceplam*15 -
GF: What are you doing there?
Dev: I've been trying to reproduce a bug for two hours now...
GF: You need two bugs the opposite sex, otherwise they won't reproduce.
From a sad true story.8 -
My girlfriend saw me coding in XCode.
GF: What are you doing?
Me: Ahmm. Coding.
GF: *saw the colors in every line of code
GF: That's easy. You just need to follow the color pattern. Green, Blue, Red and Yellow.
Me:
Macbook:
XCode:
Charger:
BTW. She's a Preschool Teacher. Hahahaha23 -
Stranger: "what are you doing?"
Me:"I'm developing a WPF app for a personal project"
Stranger:"So it's for Windows...I prefer Linux because...blah blah"
Me: -.-
Sometimes I feel like Linux users are the Vegans of the tech world...35 -
* phone conversation with Dad*
Dad: What are you doing?
Me: Busy creating website.
Dad: So, if I type " www", will I be able to see it?
Me: *explaining website hosting and servers for 15mins straight*
Dad: Huh. You do learn something in college then.
Me:🤐23 -
I was explaining to my mom how my company is in need of developers and how we'll need more of them in the future - to which she replied:
"oh... what are you going to do? You can't live without a job!"
- erm? What?
"Well - you're not smart like those guys. You'll probably get fired now."
- Wtf mom!? I'm a friggin lead dev and i've been a developer for like 10 years now!? 😳
*silence* "is that what you've been doing? I thought you just kept clicking on stuff"11 -
(Me using the CMD in class)
Schoolmate: What are you doing?
Me: Using the CMD, it makes stuff really easier.
Schoolmate(loudly): *MY NAME* is hacking the schooooool.
Ignorant idiots now I am not allowed to use my laptop in class anymore.25 -
Mom: what are you doing ?
Me: i'm installing daemons in my computer.
Mother: *sprays me with holy water2 -
"Dad, where does the babies come from?"
"Well...err...um...do you have any other questions left?"
"What are you doing as a developer?"
🤔
"Ok...let's talk about babies..."1 -
Me: (putting headphones on)
Boss: You are an engineer. You need to focus. You cannot multitask. Nobody can. You need to concentrate on the work and deliver. If you ...blah.blah.blah.
Me: 😃 hmm yes you are right (dying on the inside)
Boss: if you are listening songs, your attention is towards that, you learn nothing of what you are working on.
Me: 😃 True Indeed.
Inner me 👿: Motherfucker. I use headphones so I don't have to listen to you giggling about with your mates in a bragging battle, in a language I do not understand, which is noise to me.
And technically, I do not listen to songs, I listen to music, while doing repeated tasks, so that I can overcome the boredom and do it quick in a rhythm.
But you wouldn't understand now, would you, YOU OLD FART, you fuckin Remnant of the Ancient times.10 -
*me, coding at a pub*
*random dude walks up to me*
He: "what are you doing? Programming? What?"
Me: "yup. That's a horizontally and vertically scalable webservice, that's using amqp, rest APIs and encryption to schedule starting, stopping and autoscaling of a total of 90 heroku applications. This webinterface *showing* allows you to trigger starts and stops manually and monitor all processes."
He: "oh, so you are programming a Website? In HTML?"
Me: "euhm........ Yes."
I understand this dude had probably no clue what I was talking about.. Yet I am angry at him. Reducing more than 12k loc to HTML... Go fuck yourself.22 -
FOR FUCK SAKE ANDROID STUDIO!!! 5GB RAM WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!!! I NEED THOSE VMs RUNNING AND USING 5GB IS NOT COOL AT ALL!!60
-
*Interview*
Interviewer: We have an opening. Are you interested to work?
Me: What is that I'll be doing?
I: What technologies and languages do you know?
Me: I know Scala, Java, Spark, Angular, Typescript, blah blah. What is your tech stack?
I: Any experience working on frontend?
Me: Yes. But what do you use for it?
I: Can you work with databases?
Me: I can, on SQL based. What are yours?
I: Can you do big data processing?
Me: I know Spark, if that's what you are asking for. What is it that you actually do?
I: Any experience in cloud development?
Me: Yes. AWS? Azure? GCP?
I: Do you know CI CD?
Me: Excuse me.. I've been asking a lot of questions but you're not paying attention to what I'm asking. Can you please answer the questions I asked.
I: Yes. Go ahead.
Me: What will be my position?
I: A full stack developer.
Me: What technologies do you use in your project?
I: We use all the latest tech.
Me: Like?
I: All latest tech.
Me: You mentioned big data processing?
I: Yes. Processing data from DB and generating reports.
Me: what do you use for that?
I: Java.
Me: Are you planning to rebuild it using Spark or something and deploy in the cloud?
I: No we're not rebuilding it. Just some additions to the existing.
Me: Then what's with cloud? Why did you ask for that?
I: Just to know if you're familiar.
Me: So I'll be working with Java. Okay. What do you use for UI?
I: Flash
Me: 🙄
I sat for a couple of minutes contemplating life.
I: Are you willing to join?
Me: No. Not at all. Thankyou for the offer.5 -
The perfect example of misinformation appeared on a Dutch news site today.
It said that thousands of sites had the 'secure' *mark* due to running https but weren't actually secure because they were malicious.
Those cunts are mixing up the thing called a connection with fucking content/what happens on a site.
And those Russians are spreading fake information, right? You didn't even have examples of that and now you're doing it yourself.23 -
Hey Mm...Morty. What are you doing?
Oh gee Rick, I’m just...you know...using Linux and telling the internet how that makes me better than them.
Morty, you rr...realize that it...it...doesn’t matter what OS you use Morty. Y...y...you’re still a piece of shit Morty. I can prove it...burp...mathematically Morty. In the grand scheme of the universe...y...y...you are a bubble sort algorithm surrounded by quick sorts Morty.
Oh gee Rick.14 -
If you are copy pasting code from somewhere else, spend some time and effort to understand what that piece of code is actually doing, and how much of your requirement does it satisfy.1
-
My parents my whole childhood:
What are you *** doing in front of that screen?!?!
Stop playing GAMES and go out and do something with your life!
You are WASTING your LIFE on ****!
You will NEVER get a job.
Today I am payed more than 20th times as my dad was payed in my age.
They finally stopped complaining.6 -
What are you doing with 2KB of ram?
1969: NASA - "We just put some guys on the moon and got them back to Earth safely."
2018: Me - "I'm just struggling to run a 10 line Java program that prints the answer to an addition problem to the console."17 -
You know what? Fuck this shit. We spend most of our life locked down in a school, we are being told facts, tested and stressed for many years with the only hope to get out as soon as possible.
Failing is something that keeps you there indefinitely.
Parents keep pushing on kids to achieve the best and get good grades to have a job.
Then something happens.
You get out of school and what happens?
You start working.
A.k.a modern slavery...
Employers thinks that since you are young they are doing YOU a favor if they decided to hire you.
So you find yourself having to do the same tasks everyone is doing, perhaps you are even fully capable of managing them and get the shit done but guess what!!
You are paid the minimum.
You barely make enough to pay off your rent which keeps you locked away from Holidays abroad, from that huge cake you desperately want.
And guess what! Try to raise your voice and you'll get fired in a Matter of seconds, replaced with someone else which accepts any condition.
You dream of a house, a family and a car but you can't even eat healthy with that salary.
So you are forced to buy cheap and low quality food from the same store again and again till you had enough and spend some days with that horrible feeling...
Calling you to get a job interview feels like they are doing you a favor, they always try to give the minimum possible and expect you to work in a serious manner and respect their deadlines.
Colleagues earn a lot more even though they aren't doing anything different from you.
For the first year you won't have any holiday, let alone traveling or anything different from just staying home for 3 days straight.
Banks won't give you a loan because your job doesn't pay off
The day that your car is broken you struggle to eat the whole month.
On top of that, taxes. Because they aren't taking away enough.
I don't want to live this life, I don't want to become a modern slave and work 8-17 everyday for the rest of my life and retire with a shitty retirement pension that won't probably grant me anything again.
I had enough of this shit.
I don't want to go back to work and pretend to do what I am supposed to do with a smile on my face knowing that I am just a number and that no matter how skilled I am I can always get replaced with N number of people for a lower salary of mine.
I am tired
I dream of a life that I won't ever reach this way.
Today I looked up houses prices and felt like shit.
I will never in my entire life be able to afford something so expensive, let alone buying furnitures and what is needed or what I like.
I dream of having my place, my dog and my family but apparently I am asking too much.
How is this even fair in 2018/2019?
I... I am... Speechless.
I wonder how many people out there are in the same situation or even worse and I can't even wrap my mind around that.
This is just modern slavery.
My boss makes a shit load of money from young people that can't complain because they are threatened and will eventually be replaced...
This is my rant.22 -
Just because Facebook/Google/Apple are doing something, it doesn't mean it's the future of technology.
No, we're not going to throw out large parts our perfectly good tech stack just because you liked their latest blog post.
If you wanted to always play "follow the shiny thing", you should have become a jeweller. Please learn what independent thought is and how to apply it, the results might surprise you!7 -
These fresh new college grads...calling themselves Full Stack Developers...
Ask them to consume a web service and I get a blank look...ask them to create a REST service and they are like WTF are you talking...
Has it come to the point that people just keep throwing around terms without understanding the inherent philosophy or idea behind them or is it like it's just to show that they are the "COOL" kids...with no actual idea of what the fuck they are doing ???10 -
I got assigned approximately 20 tasks, all are high priority.
Coworker got assigned 2 tasks, (“like fix button sizes and padding”, “localisation “)
He completed.
I got questioned: “are you sure you are a senior developer? Are you doing your work at all? If your coworker can finish low priority tasks in a day , why you as a senior can’t? “
Me :”if you have the ability to see , please tell me how many tasks I have that are in high priority.”
“Exactly, I need you to complete it now , I expect more from you as a senior. “
Me: “why not you tell me which tasks are higher priority? Because can’t be all are urgent. If everything is urgent , nothing is urgent.”
“Stop giving excuses, be a team player.”
Me :” how is it making excuses for asking urgencies of the tasks?”
“Hahaha you called yourself a senior. What a joke”
Me:”likewise, you called yourself a Project manager yet can’t manage. What a joke indeed.”19 -
Dad: What are you doing with your life?
Me: Enjoying it. Can you say the same?
My dad degrades me for my programming because he's from 'that generation.' Fuck him, Imma do what I enjoy, cause I'm damn well sure I don't want to end up like him.13 -
Personal projects are the best.
Coming home after work.
Cooking diner and cleanup, dishwash stuff.
Giving some attention to partner.
Exercise, because you have been sitting all day.
And then the one hour that is left before you need to sleep. You fire up the project just to realize that you forgot what you have been doing. And start browsing devrant instead.
Great day. let's try again tomorrow.5 -
!rant
My girlfriend sat on my lap the other day when I was helping a friend of mine with some assembly code. She look at the code an said
What are you doing?
I explained the code and said that is the lowest you can get before machine code. She didn't run away in fear....
This is a great sign...6 -
Me: doing light browsing.
CPU Fan: increases frequency like crazy.
Me: opens task manager.
Windows 10: 60% cpu usage.
Me: sort processes by cpu usage; sum does not match.
Me: closes iTunes update window.
CPU usage: drops to less than 10%.
The update had already finished and the CPU usage was 60%!!!
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, APPLE?3 -
Her: What are you doing over there?
Me: I'm working on cryptographic hash functions
Her: is that really homework?
Me: yes, come look with your two eyes.
Her: ...
Me: crazy stuff, no?
Her: I imagine computer science is really just a lot of boxes and arrows.
Me: *flashback to UML, ERD diagrams, and logic diagrams*
Me: you are not wrong.8 -
Manager: As you all know I called this meeting to discuss what we will do with all of the extra resources if we are done early. I was thinking a start a new ap—
Dev: We are not going to be done early. There are two weeks left and we are way behind schedule.
Manager: Don’t be so pessimistic! You never know when or how fast tickets will be completed.
Dev: Yes I do…I’m the one doing them4 -
I fucking hate it when I'm working and people come and ask 'What are you doing ?' .. Even if they mean well ..
I'd be happy to show them and explain the hell out about finished product though .. !1 -
Me, doing ui design: 'hm, i feel like jumping into machine learning right now'
Me, writing a ml chatbot: 'but what if i extend flutter with my old custom android components'
Me, porting java components to dart: 'hold on, p5js has vectors, i could make a physical simulation'
Me to me: 'why are you like this'10 -
Me: So what you are doing in the IT field?
Him: I am hacking bank websites.
Me: OK, that's cool. It is good in free time. What is your actual job?
Him: I am seriously hacking the bank Web site!
Me: Trust me, if you seriously doing that you will never ever mentioned it...
Him: No, I am doing it legally... The bank hiring me to try to hack the website...
Me: OK, you mean that you are cyber security tester?
Him: That is almost the same...
Me: So you are tester?
Him: I am hacking bank's websites...
Me:....7 -
So here I am... thinking to myself how does this kid not know about the shift key?
Me: "Ok we're going to test see if you have sudo access. Please enter your password, now"
Student: ~stares at the black terminal box and begins pressing the caps lock key. The light doesn't display~
Student: "Um... what? Do I need to enter a new password?"
Me: "No"
Continues to click the caps-lock button and waiting for a light to appear on the keyboard. It doesn't. He continues clicking.
Me: "You need to press the shift button"
Him: "What???"
Me: "You need to press the shift button"
Him: "Um.. I don't understand"
Him: Presses shift button, nothing happens. Goes back to pressing caps lock button.
Me: "Your password has a capital letter in it right?"
Him: "Um... yeah."
Me: "Press the shift button to capitalize your letters."
Him: "I don't understand... Do I need to enter a new password?"
Me: "No... you need to press and hold the shift key to get a capital letter"
Him: "................................ ............................................ . . . . . .. .. .. .. .. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . ...................... . . . . . . . Oh..."
Him: "Presses and holds the shift button with his thumb and then presses the Z key."
Me: ~What in the hell are you doing?~ 🤦
Me: "Perfect it looks like you are a part of the sudoers list."
Me: "You can take you computer back."
Me: ~Do you fucking use the caps lock key to capitalize all the first letters in your sentences? Please tell me you don't!~rant get rid of the caps lock i think he's a transfer student my accent was too strong what are you doing13 -
Me: takling to a colleague on Skype for business
My 3 year old son: what are you doing?
Me: talking on the phone
Son: that's not a phone
Me: ... That's right, it's called Skype. But its' executable is called lync.exe. It's just trying to pretend to be Skype. Repeat after me: lync
Son: lync
Me: great! Stay away from lync. It's evil!6 -
I get serious anxiety when someone is doing something on a computer and I know that the way they are doing it is the slowest way possible.8
-
while we were in the car...
mom: so what are u doing in your new job? you code in java?
me: no, i code in javascript, html, css and php..
mom: so thats java. how nice.
me: no, its javaSCRIPT.
mom: theyre still the same.
me: java and javascript are not the same
mom: but most people use java so why dont u just do it in java?
me: thats what ive been asking myself too in the past few weeks, why did i even accept this job3 -
Goddamit Apple fanboys... I saw 5 tents infront of the Apple Store in Zürich switzerland today, I MEAN WTF ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE? SPENDING AT LEAST 1000 CHF (around the Same in USD) FOR A FUCKING PHONE WHICH IS FROM APPLE!? WTF?! WHY? WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT OF ALL THIS NONSENSE?! EXPLAIN THIS BULLFUCK TO ME!!13
-
> Last year of study
> I see a new face
> Maybe new friend?
> He asked me what am I doing in live
> Front-end my friend :)
> So you are not real programmer :O
> Wtf with these people
> Should I kill him?8 -
Me:(kills the CTRL +S buttons saving something)
Boss: what are you doing ?
Me: nothing much, saving a document.
Boss: is that the best way to save it?
Me: no, it got saved the very first time, the rest is to convince my heart I saved it.
Boss: ... ... ... fair enough.5 -
Google! What the fuck are you doing with your design?!
Just updated my chromebook and what the fuck is this ui!14 -
$ npm audit
> found 19 vulnerabilities (10 low, 5 moderate, 3 high, 1 critical)
$ npm audit fix
> fixed 0 of 19 vulnerabilities in 11987 scanned packages
> (use `npm audit fix --force` to install breaking changes; or do it by hand)
$ npm audit fix --force
> npm WARN using --force I sure hope you know what you are doing.
Me too, buddy. Me too.1 -
Skype, on my laptop, updated the other day. It was like: 'Oh hey we're downloading skype for windows 10!', and I was like 'oh yeah? cool! ... wait, I'm not on Windows 10 WAIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING NO WAIT NO STOP'
And now it doesn't work. Yay!3 -
If you haven't seen the video instructions for how to factory reset GE's smart light bulbs.
STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND WATCH: https://youtube.com/watch/...
Theres also a twitter thread about this which includes screenshots of their instructions on how to count 2 seconds: https://twitter.com/NumbersMuncher/...
This is what happens when you hire a product manager with no experience and put them in charge of engineering, design, UX (who we kidding they def don't have one of these) etc. This is just magical16 -
A : "what the funk is wrong with git ! why there are conflict!!"
Y: "let me see, hmm .. just press ctrl + disc.."
A : "what are you doing ?"
Y : "discard! they are gone. now you can try again in different branch"
A : "I didn't commit !! this my work of two weeks!!!"
Y : " ..... "
Y : *sneak away*7 -
Welcome to backend development, when only felow programmers know what you are doing, and fucking frontend guys get all the credit.9
-
Week 26 advice - you all probably know this but good to refresh!
Eat healthily
Sleep well
Document clearly
Annotate your code
Use version control properly
Keep yourself in check with project management tools
Your peers are your friends... And competition.
As much as your boss is an idiot respect them and your life will be easier.
With great power comes great responsibility; don't touch that keyboard until you think through what you are doing chances are your first idea is not the best.
Don't write quick fixes and say you will go back to clean it up later on when you have time. That time will never come.3 -
* online meeting *
Why are ya'll muted? We can't have a conversation if you're all muted. Just unmute yourselves.
* someone had a lot of background noise *
Huh? What's happening? What's that noise? I think someone is in a very noisy place. You know what? Just mute yourselves until you want to talk.
THATS WHAT WE WERE DOING YOU PRICK4 -
Me - I want to work on Java.
Boss - you are working on Java right?
Me - no, just Angular JS
Boss - yes it's the same right... Angular Js, JavaScript, java
Me - (hmmmm, what if I had just said angular, would he assume I was doing geometry?) -
Red: Says the example does not use client library.
Blue: Uses client library.
Oh Google, what are you doing?4 -
Git, Bitcoin, actually getting paid for writing PySnek.. What the fuck is this doing in my feed?
1. How the fuck are Git and Bitcoin related?
2. What the fuck makes you think that open source and getting paid don't usually go together, as if that makes your product unique?
3. What kind of drugs did this marketing cunt take to make this promotion, because I want some!
4. What kind of braindead idiot am I for not including the fucking picture before hitting submit?!12 -
Me during my last performance review: So I did this, and that, which has this impact, and that impact
Some dude from the higher echelon: what you achieved is nice, but you need to contribute outside of your team too. No promotion for you!
Me during this performance review: ok, so here's what I did and its impact, and also here's my contribution to the company outside of my team
Some dude from the higher echelon: wow why are you doing all that? You need to delegate more. No promotion for you!
I love corporate life!3 -
If you have an e-commerce site and you don't let me sort the products based on price, what the fuck are you doing?20
-
Are you a mango in Siberia?
Mangos seeds don't grow in Siberia. But if they are moved to a warmer climate they grow to be the King of fruits.
Do not beat yourself up if you are not doing good at one organization in one role. Analyze what is the problem and if it requires a change of team/organization, roles..just do it!8 -
Manager: What the heck are you guys doing? Pair programming?! That would halve the team productivity!!!
We:
Manager: Alright, Let's do a "quick" four hours meeting. Everyone in the company MUST attend!
We:3 -
With the new Dutch mass surveillance law comming soon, I am interested to know what you are doing with it?
Nothing?
VPN?
Something else?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I don't live in the Netherlands?17 -
Are you a complete passive aggressive twat?
Are you 100% completely unable to stand up for yourself outside of the safety that a computer screen provides?
Are you a male and capable of only doing things that would take you in the absolute complete opposite direction of a vagina?
Are you a female and an insufferable twat?
Do you think that people's likes and dislikes are no better than yours?
Is your opinion better than anyone else's?
THEN BEING A DEVELOPER AND BEING IN DEVRANT IS JJJJJJJJUST WHAT YOU NEED!
Here in our community, the more full of shit that you are! the farther you will go up in popularity! Insufferable opinionated and biased assholes that could not throw a punch if their lives depended on it is LITERALLY WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT!!
lmao, I swear man, some of y'all are just too full of shit.20 -
Yea #deletefacebook is fine and all but what about putting fucking Like-Buttons all over the goddamn web. Care about that, would ya?!? You're not any bit better than zuckerfuck if you are doing this on your site!5
-
My coworker passed in February and recently LinkedIn generated her automated 30th work anniversary post. Tons of people commented "congrats." I commented "rip 💔" and after my comment people kept commenting "congrats." Your LinkedIn connections do not know or care if you are alive or dead. Everyone's just doing what the algorithm wants. It's dystopian.11
-
I don't know about you, but our fellow Indian colleagues doing YouTube videos explaining programming concepts and whatnot have got me through college and many of my projects.
Cheers for the Indian superheroes in our line of work! Keep doing what you're doing, you are making the world a better place.5 -
Could you put a backdoor on the software so i can see what my employees are doing ? Don't worry I'll pay you more.
Yeahhhh buddy I'm out, give me my card back.
What the fuck im going back to my open source safespace.3 -
Avoiding bad companies starts at the job interview. Remember that the job interview is not only for them to evaluate you, but also the other way around. Make sure to ask a lot of questions. What are they doing, how are they working, what help is there if you get stuck, are they doing code reviews, what will you be doing etc.
The job interview is the opportunity for you to get an inside view of the company. Don’t just accept any job because you are desperate. Luckily qualifies devs are much needed in companies.
Also, make sure to go to multiple job interviews so you can see the differences. I think it can be difficult to avoid in the beginning, but as you get more experience, you can sort of tell whether it’s a good or bad company at the job interview.
Though sometimes you are just unlucky. In that situation: leave. It is so good damn easy to get a job in this field.3 -
It's my 2nd week into my new job. I asked people what they think they are doing.
The summary:
Senior dev: we fix bugs
Junior dev: we write code
Intern: we create the future
It depends how you look at it. They are all called software engineer or developer.9 -
(Instant Message)
Client: Are you there?
Me: Yes speak please.
(Why don't you just leave the message? It's not like having a phone call…)
Client: The contract is ready. I'll send it to you.
(Waited for an akaward 10 minute…)
Client: ???Can you receive it???
(Omg are you doing SSL handshake or what? Just send the file!)
Me: Yes I can pleasre send it to me thank you so much.
So after promoting Flutter to the clients (for whom cross plateform solution are perfect match) for almost a year, today I finally got the first ever Flutter App contract. I believ e time for Flutter is really coming. Wish me luck!3 -
I'm someone who' s productive so I get things done earlier than expected, so then I get time to rest. However, when the managers see me resting, they always think that I'm "not doing my job" or "idle" or "doing nothing" so they always ask me "what are you doing?" or "you've got things to do?".
From now on I will just pretend that every f*cking easy task is worth 1 week to do.15 -
Me: Dad, what are you doing with my facebook account
Dad: Just seeing your news feed son
Me: you don't know my password
Dad: Yes...you just logged in one of my phishing pages.
Me: But when did you learn these things?...you don't even know how to send a mail
Dad: Go, drink some gelusil son3 -
So I'm installing Ubuntu 18.04 iso (downloaded via Mobile Data) from an SD card through a USB adapter, (on an HDD)
What are you guys doing with your lives?7 -
Inappropriate experience at work? Here is another one:
The IS department manager 'John' bought a blowgun and was shooting at a box down the cubical farm hallway. Only a little annoying to hear him puff on the tube, but then someone walked out their cube and almost got hit.
Dev: "Dammit John! What the hell are you doing?!"
John: "Maybe you should pay the hell attention to where you're going. You heard what I was doing. Don't be a baby, those darts wouldn't have hurt you anyway."
I've attached a pic of what the darts looked like.4 -
So, there's something I really don't understand.
Everyone here is complaining about Windows and that it "always BSODs".
I've only seen 4 Bluescreens in the entire time I used Windows. That is over 7 years.
So, what are you doing to your computer to cause so many Bluescreens?11 -
Me *setting up some coding environments via the terminal in Ubuntu Budgie*
Some random person next to me: Sorry to interrupt, but what you're doing looks very fascinating. What is it?
Me *tries to explain it as simple as possible*
Person: I didn't know you could do that on Windows! What version are you running?
Me *explains about Linux, dies inside*
Person: but why don't you just use Windows? This sounds too complicated
*friend calls after me, have to leave, saved*2 -
It's a new semester and the introductory class for a General Ed is going on.
Prof: What do you want to be when you are done with engineering?
Me: I'd like to be in the security domain but I'm still not sure.
Prof: Then why are you doing Computer Science? You can just get a job as a security personnel.
FML.2 -
How many times, like a broken record, do I have to tell the managment team that the "what's new" text is 500 characters max for the google play store? How many times? Surely it's more than 5 times, since I've already told them 5 times! I'll report back in when it's 10 times, although by then I may have bashed my head against the wall so many times that I'll be dead, and finally freed from these clowns.6
-
Vendor: We are very professional and follow best practices, we know what we are doing. You should trust us.
Also Vendor 5 mins later: DB passwords, API keys and SSH keys in repo. AWS Access Keys shared in screenshots in email.
Me: 😭6 -
Person: What are you doing for living?
Me: I am a software engineer.
P: what does that mean?
M: we build applications and websites. basically
P: like what?
M: I don't have an example now, but when you open your computer and navigate to a website, we build similar things..
P: ahhaaah, so you make computers
M: no no, *open Facebook on my phone* see this is an application, we made applications that run on devices.
P: so make phones, that's cool
M: nooo!
P: so you do nothing !
M: yes 🙄1 -
Recruiter: Hi! I'm a recruiter, and you have a position similar to jobs I'm trying to fill. What are you doing at your current company right now?
Me: Uhm. Working?
Recruiter: Oh! What would make a good candidate for positions like yours?
Me: Uhm. A dedicated employee? -
I am a windows user but just wanted to say arch linux .. it just sounds nice
hey, I'm going to arch linux for a bit
what are you doing? I'm arching linux
hey, stop arching with my linux
btw, is it pronounced ark or arch?4 -
Tough days are standard are they not?
A good ritual is forcing yourself outside and get some fresh air, don’t have a single thought of what it is you were doing and just destress.
I also find punching something therapeutic aswell so there’s always that option 😅 -
Co-worker: Why are you deleting this piece of code?
Me: It's deprecated and it can be made in a better way. Don't worry, I know what I'm doing
Also me: OH SHIT THE ENTIRE PROJECT IT'S RUINED4 -
Lesson I learnt the hard way today: ticket every fucking task (including admin) to:
A. Cover your arse (if the tickets are not ready because they haven't given us enough information, push back on it before committing too much effort to doing it)
B. Better deliverable (what you output will probably be better quality because you worked out the requirements upfront + you know the audience)
C. You have something to show management when they want to try and overwork you some more4 -
*My friend was piling up her food in a bbq place*
Me: What are you doing?
Her: I'm trying to beat my old stacking record.
Me: Be careful not to get a stack overflow!
. . .I'll see myself out.2 -
Daily scrum
Today, the Scrumpy Master was not here, so I leaded the daily scrum meeting,
rephrasing the 3 standards questions a little bit: the results where amazing.
Here my questions in case somebody want to use them:
- What the fuck did you do on Friday?
- What the fuck do you think you are doing today?
- What is your fucking problem?
We managed to keep the meeting very short and after the meeting everybody was sooooo concentrated I couldn't believe it.
Beeep Beeeeeep 7:00 o'clock. Shit. I was dreaming. Must wake up and go to work.
Scrum master will be there too.8 -
Tools don't matter. Use what is comfortable and don't listen to all the brand, OS, editor and tabs/spaces crap. They all do the job and you will find the right ones once you really understand what you are doing. "Tools can be just a way to procrastinate". If you become tool agnostic you can do the job no matter the environment.1
-
I'm sick to death of hiring people from other companies and explaining GitFlow and why its useful (what are you people doing?).
Then watching them doing it wrong, pointing out its easier to use something like sourcetree. Which leads to "... well see, the terminal is just more efficient, tools like sourcetree are bloated".
Ok fair enough, well heres the deal i'll make with you, while using your "efficient tool", stop breaking our workflow and i'm fine for you to keep using it. Otherwise, stop being a dick and be a team player.18 -
Boss: "do you have a minute?"
Me: "sure"
Boss: "I have this problem, can you just stop doing whatever you are doing and fix it for me?"
Me internally: *no I don't, what I'm doing right now is fixing another one of your problems for which you've interrupted other work already"
Me: "Yeah sure, gimme some time"
Can't afford to fail my internship and I don't want a shitty work environment which I why I don't speak my mind...
But man this is tiring...2 -
Me to gf: hey hun look what I built! (Shows off new project)
Gf: (sees video playing in background) oh that's so cool! Did you do that? (Points at video)
Me: no, but look at this! (Shows off feature)
Gf: oh... well that's great hun, I'm so happy you are doing what you love -
Has anyone ever taken on a project where you dont know what you are getting yourself into, and then start it and going down the rabbit hole of docs and then at some point ask yourself "what the f u c k am i doing?"8
-
So I was wondering, what is you guys' 'goal' in the long run? What do you really want to be able to do or what do you really want to achieve in 5 to 10 years? Are you working primarily for an income or are there more prominent reasons for doing what you do?
I'm in my last years of university and have a job at a software development company, not because I need the money but because of all the amazing technologies I come in touch with and the amazing things I learn, mostly about servers and devops tools.
I currently have 2 goals in mind: Creating an .io game together with a frontend developer and setting up a kubernetes cluster and using it. I personally consider kubernetes an end-game thing when it comes to running apps and am experimenting with it on three servers that I got from school.
So I was wondering, what ahout you? 😀27 -
Me: so, what are you doing as a developer?
Him: I am full-stack developer, basically ROR...
Me:...! Sorry, do you mean R&D, research and development? Or you mean Aroura DB?
Hi: no man, I am expert in ROR! You can not call your self developer in our days without knowing the on demand technologies!
Me:... Sorry dude, can you please tell me what is ROR, I don't want to lose my title as a developer!!!?
Him: OK, we call Ruby On Rails as ROR.
Me: ~¢°¤”©°$®”«2 -
SQL Rule 1. Always assume there are external processes that might affect your data. (for instance, triggers).
SQL Rule 2. In Denormalised data, never execute logic on dependant table values, always copy from the parent.
SQL Rule 3. When Denormalised data schemas are created the DBA knows what they are doing.
SQL Rule 3.1. If DBA knows what they is doing then according to Rule 1 there is no problem with adding in some triggers to maintain data clones as they are created.
SQL Rule 4. If you don't like or agree with triggers, deal with it. They are a first class tool in a first class RDBMS. In a multi-app or service environment there may be many other external processes massaging your data
SQL Rule 5. If all previous rules are not broken and the system has been running efficiently for many years DO NOT complain that there are triggers in the database that are doing and have been doing the same process that you just butchered (by violating Rule 1 and 2) in your makeshift "hello world, look what I can do from my phone" angular BS when the rest of the users are still relying on the existing runtime app.
SQL Rule 6. If you turn my triggers off, you sure as hell better turn them back on!1 -
Listening to a song 500 times on repeat because it will take to long to stop what you are doing and hunt for a new playlist/station....1
-
I like to joke around when I am working. I understand that it's not everyone's cup of tea, but ffs you should be able to laugh at really complex problems in stressful situations. How else can you remain sane writing thousands of lines of code just for an e-commerce site or so someone can post even more cat pictures on the Internet.
If you can't laugh and enjoy what you are doing, you might want to rethink what you are doing with your life.3 -
That sinking feeling of horror when you are helping a student with a problem in their assignment only to see major logic errors that prove they dont actually understand what they are doing. * drinks wiskey in prep for marking *5
-
Casual chat with a girl in Facebook.
Me : Hey, What are u doing these days?
She : I'm completed a IT course.
Me : hmm... Interesting, What are the languages you have learnt at the IT course.
She : I learned English
Me : (Close the Chat,
Blocked her,
Shuts down the PC)
(Yes, Yes, This is a true story.)4 -
Why mac lovers compare their Mac pro or Mac air with a 300$ windows laptop? Can't you compare it with the same price tag windows laptop?
Because what you are doing is like comparing a Mercedes S500 to Toyota corolla!5 -
Ransomware: Haha, pay me now or say goodbye
Me: Hey, What are you doing on my Pentium?
RW: Whaaat? Fuck man you are a disgrace. Here take some $2000 and now I be off.
my hero....2 -
Exhibit B of Google's inability to code:
One of the most starred Android repositories on Github adds rounded corners to ImageView. That's it.
Sometimes you really wonder what Google's engineers are doing :P3 -
When your mum asks what you are doing and you say "studying Python" n she be like, go n study what will you do reading about snakes....
P.s. had to explain her about this language2 -
Websites: Let me slide in a little piece of data in your browser for your convenience so that you don't have to enter your password every time you come back. We even have a great name for it - Cookie!
EU - WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO OUR COMPUTERS, HOW DARE YOU MAKE OUR LIVES BETTER WITHOUT LETTING US KNOW FIRST.
(also pay us €10000000 k bye)4 -
I took a Computer ethics class some time ago, and at some point, we talked about honesty in Computer Science.
There was one thing that bothered me that we never had the chance to touch on, but how do I know that the button I'm clicking is doing what I want it to do?
I mean seriously there is really nothing that is stopping someone from making fake buttons that pretend to do what they say they are doing. I might be uninstalling something on my computer, but can I "really" trust that the software was "completely" removed?
As a developer I always strive for honesty, but that doesn't mean other people are.
How do you guys deal with this?13 -
YouMod - Easy Moderation for your YouTube Channel!
We are building a website to allow big YouTubers to add other moderators who help you with your YouTube Channel.
Set Permissions, see what they are doing, and much more!19 -
Rails gems are like heroine. Addicting as fuck and dangerous when you stop using them.
Just the other day I was explaining user accounts explanations to a coworker when he asked me "what if for some reason you cannot use that package"
My brain froze for a minute trying to remember how would one go about doing that without devise.
Dangerous man.2 -
That feeling when you have something else to open instead of freaking Facebook, to find what your friends are doing.
-
I have a server. I want to filter connections to that server so only people on my work network can access the server. A quick search yielded my public IP address.
"Is this static?" I asked IT. "Do we have static IP address?"
"What do you mean? What do you need that for? You better know EXACTLY what you are doing before we release that information to you!!!! This needs to go to my manager. My manager is demanding to know why you want that information - we are having Network Engineering look into this request, someone will be in touch to find out more."
I have now been waiting for 3 hours. I think I will just go ahead and assume my IP is not going to change...undefined infosec how many engineers does it take i am on the 10th floor the fall would kill me corporate america5 -
Favourite API.
That's a hard one.
I guess it's a toss up between Salesforce APis and Cloudflare.
Both are straight forward and work within minutes of getting started, and both are well documented to the point, you only need a basic understanding of what you are doing or trying to manipulate to get it up and running.
If only AWS could do the same 😅1 -
//computer class at school doing html
classmate:"Hey can you help me? that img isnt showing."
me:"Yeah of course" *look at screen and see a single line if code without spaces or anything*
"What are you doing? Why do you write everything in one line?"
classmate:"Ohh you can write it over multiple lines?"
me:"...."
At that time we worked with html for around 2 weeks1 -
Being smart but not applying yourself is the same as being stupid.
I've been having a rough semester , as I sat around and played video games for the first few weeks.
Ever since I stopped gaming I started doing more code stuff, and getting things done.
In hindsight, I probably shouldve stopped gaming when the semester started.
What are your guys experience with this? What stratergies do you use for time management?11 -
You know what really pisses me off?
Arrogant/Condescending people doing rookie mistakes.
If you are like that but delivers I suck it up and let it go, but if you don't? Lol... Be ready for the shitstorm.1 -
Watching someone screw up their own website...
The one you did for them for free because you're good friends...
Who then kicks you to the curb and "unfriends" you IRL over some stupid misunderstanding...
Well, it's time to pop some popcorn, kick back, and watch that dumpster fire from afar. https://gph.is/2p6q53C6 -
Registering a new account for microsoft teams:
`Your password cannot contain a space, &# characters combination, or the following characters: < >`
Are they storing the passwords in plain text? Are they not sanitizing the input? Why the fuck would they care if I put motherfucking emojis in my password? What the fuck are you doing to the passwords, Microsoft? TELL ME.4 -
Do not wave you phone around during a video interview. Don't turn it upside down. Don't put keep your hand near it -- I am not interested in your finger nails. Don't pace around. Don't look like a YouTuber that has no idea what they are doing on a video conference.
That is all.2 -
Rock up at work 10:30.
"What are you doing out your wanking chariot this early?"
"Aye, was there a fire where you live or something?"
Good thing I have flexitime!1 -
Ok so for the first time (doing web dev since a few years) I got this customer who insists to work via TeamViewer on the phone with me doing css edits live. It's a mess and extremely stressful. I told him I don't work like that and today I officially put a stop in this. He's saying that all the other developers are working for him in the same way and that by doing 4 hours sessions of live css edits by the pixel they save time.
Guys, what the fuck are you doing?4 -
I brought my laptop and stuff to school the other day, it was my final period before school was over and it was more "do what you want" kind of thing. So I was playing with my terminal (since I have Linux) and one of the students came up to me and asked "What are you playing? Is that a game?", luckily I wasn't in that pissy mood so I just tried my best to explain to him what I was doing.6
-
load average: 348.58, 293.64, 179.93
Um, wat?
1) What are you doing little server?!
2) How could you possibly find the time to tell me that?!2 -
This Book....
Before doing any systems programming you should definitely read this book... most people think they know what they are doing but in fact they are completely clueless and the worst part is you don’t realize how clueless you are... you don’t know what you don’t know nor do you know how much you really don’t know.. a most people are part of this group, including myself lol.
Computers are much more than a bunch of CPUs, buses and peripherals. (Embedded folks realize this). But this goes beyond embedded this is a systems book, on architecture of computers in general.
Learning only java and the java/C# python and the others SDK/Api and spending your life with horse blinders for what’s going on below only sets you up for failure in the future, and when you that point it’s gonna be a shocker. Could be tomorrow could be 20 years from now, but most people with those horseblinders get to that point and have that “experience” no avoiding the inevitable lol.
I really enjoyed this book in their quantitative approach to teaching the subject. Especially understanding parallelism and multi core systems.5 -
Mom: What are you doing ??
Me: Just fixing up a few bugs I encountered yesterday..
Mom: Good .. That means you are doing nothing .. Go fill up the damn water bottles ..
Me: -_- !4 -
This is the most terrifying & horribly beautiful code ever.
:(){ :|:& };:
*please don't try running it if you don't know what you are doing.5 -
my boss:
*doesn't assign any tasks to me*
*doesn't check what I'm doing in days, sometimes weeks*
also my boss:
"what are you working on?"
"i thought you were going to work on that other thing"
im starting to get manageophobic5 -
Installed windows 10 in a virtual machine, fresh install no updates.
"Windows, what are you playing at we both know you are lying, how many updates do you have?"
"A few..."
"Away and install them NOW so that you don't reboot on me when I'm doing something important, ok?"
Remember, windows update rules should be like bathroom breaks on a long car journey, everyone goes before you leave and only when you stop for gas -
Long time no rant.
Rant::beginRant();
How do people who are, I think, supposed to have a knowledge of what the fuck they're doing, keep their work without knowing what the fuck they're doing?
You're telling me that you have been hired as a "full-stack developer", yet you can't build a motherfucking Vue page over SSH (not even talking about automated deployment, just the most bare bones approach)? You don't know how to deploy a Laravel project? You don't know that Linux server paths are case sensitive? You can't read the log files?!
Rant::commitRant();10 -
'nother "teacher" story here.
Little background knowledge: I'm repeating the things he told us about at home and try to learn them by myself. I use the newest Visual studio and .NET framework version.
In school we have pretty old PC's and even older .NET framework. But let this insanity begin...
As normally i entered my classroom a little late (I have a dangerous habit of ignoring my alarms) and sat down on my chair. We were only 3 people including me at that moment so everything was pretty chill. I ask him what our task was and something along these lines occurred:
Me: what's our task?
Teacher: you remember your shopping list program? I want a textbox in it next to the listview and I want it to show every listview item
Me: that doesn't make sense
Teacher: yadda yadda just do it
Me: kaaaaay, anything else?
Teacher: actually yes! Please use inheritance.
Me: *baffeld* that doesn't make any sense at all. We have 5 different fruits; you tell me i should make a class per fruit!?
Teacher: yes of course! This is how professionals do it all the time. Please give them a distinct attribute, too.
Me: *angry* I'm. Not. Gonna. Do. This. This is total bullshit and also really bad coding style. I'm not going to teach myself something that doesn't make sense at all.
(Note: i know how inheritance works and he knows that too)
Teacher: You have to do it, you won't be prepared for final exams otherwise!
Me: leave my exam prep to me. I won't do this.
Teacher: *grumbles* fine
Later that very same lesson i got a .NET compatibility error. I couldn't work because I wasn't allowed to change anything on the installation nor to install a newer framework. So basically he told me I should've used 'sharpdevelopment' (which is not able to do windows Forms, but hey who cares) and this would not have happened. I was so furious at that moment i just took all my stuff, told him that I work 'from a place where i got decent software and space to think' and left the room.
Why did this person decide to become a programming teacher?7 -
I'm reading (deciphering) the clients notes for modifications to their app and explaining to my PM what they want. At one point, he stopped me and said "How the fuck are you doing that? I don't understand how you can make those connections. Brilliant." 😂
-
PM: I’m not asking what you were doing, I’m asking what was done
me: losers are asking, champions go and do it. This is what I did. The only thing I hear from you is questions. Meanwhile leaders are always a part of the answer. With that loser mentality, you’re never gonna be an MVP.
I’m a neural network powered parrot with a supercar brain. No matter the business guru speak BS you throw my way, I’m gonna wipe the floor with you in your own game. You have no chance. You’re that mediocre type of person who buys a rolex, the same one Gary V has, with the hope it would fix your self-confidence. The only thing I see in your eyes is your shattered ego.4 -
!dev
I just fucking hate people that have 10 years without talking to me and write me to ask for a favor.
Starting like: hey man how are you doing? Like you give a fuck about the shithole I'm at, just tell me what a fuck do you want and let me go back to my life.6 -
You can't keep doing this! You can't keep doing shitty things and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it okay! You need to be better!'
...
You are all the things that are wrong with you. It's not the alcohol or the drugs or any of the shitty things that happened to you in your career or when you were a kid, it's you! Alright? It's you. ...Fuck, man. What else is there to say?' -
Working in a organization that hire people that don't know what they doing and can't ask a question correctly...
HELP WE'RE GETTING AN ERROR IN OUR CODE WHILE TRYING TO GET DATA FROM YOUR DB... PLZ FIX IT
WTF IS NOT WORKING, WHAT ARE YOU QUERYING, WHAT IS THE ERROR?
**Sends a SQL query but with ? for all the parameters**
WTF..... U PPL ARE IDIOTS.... CAN'T EVEN ASK A QUESTION CORRECTLY OR PROVIDE NECESSARY INFORMATION... CLEARLY YOU HAVE NO IDEA WTF UR DOING..
EVEN GOD CAN'T HELP YOU... -
Developer: we are going o have to do it this way because it's the only way I can get it to work.
Other developer: what are you on about that's a easy thing to do you should not be doing it that way you idiot are you thick or something! do it this way the correct blah blah way, "let me show you moron (says out loud to everyone in the office) to show how superior and awesome they are"......
Two hours later, "yes we will have to do it your way in the end, my way doesn't work"
I fucking told you that 2 hours ago. Some people just don't believe lol #timewasted1 -
Company uses Trello to track bugs and features the devs are doing.
End of the week the PM: "So what bugs and features did you work on this week?"
If only there was a platform that we could track all these things... 🤦♂️1 -
Thanksgiving dinner:
"What are you doing these days"
"I'm a programmer"
"Ah"
*Cold silence*
"... Who watched football"
mfw4 -
>you can order Devrant stickers for free
>but you're not doing that
>'Man, why? That stickers are cool!'
>I know they are cool, but I'm here not for stickers, I'm here for funny community
That's what I think.9 -
When company gave me a SSH I am a noob I have a filezilla what I do is delete all temp files and clear log files
Because the log file size goes 1gb After next day all are looking weird
Senior developer:wtf are you doing yesterday
Me: delete all the tmp files and log files 😂😂20 -
It sucks to realize that none of ur work leaders appreciate the efforts you and ur team are doing even though they don't give u the necessary materials to do ur job.
Lesson: no matter what u do, theres always gonna be ungratefuls out there. -
Just got off a call doing some classic "I know you are not tech support but please help me connect my iPhone to my computer", and I heard the following words:
"What's the Windows start button?"
This was not a boomer. This was not a Gen Y, Gen X, or even Millenial!
I shit you not, a zoomer did not know what or where the windows start button was.8 -
If it weren't for poor documentation I'd be retired by now.
We didn't all write your library. In fact, only you did. So, some helpful documentation would really help us all out. Can't believe the number of times I need to read source code to figure out what the hell you are doing.3 -
Me: Hey, I looked into the bug, *explain what it was, how I fixed it, when it will be pushed etc.*
Boss: *calls immediately* How are you doing with the bug?
Me: ... I sent you a message?7 -
You know when you work with an incompetent team or organization? No one
knows what they are doing and there is no competent leadership to set high standards and
people are making their own bullshit up? Yeah? That's my current workplace.3 -
Just because you have no idea what you are doing does not make you an artist.
So can we please treat software development as engineering?
I get that in software there are a lot of unknowns and you won't always find best practices, especially if you want to be a pioneer on the bleeding edge.
Yet maybe that issue you were trying to solve with your hackish -- I mean artfully -- solution is a lack of understanding of the basic technology?
If you want to do art, try poetry.3 -
The worst people are the ones who play it off like they know what they are doing. You read a few things online cool. That don't mean you need to set up a mission critical server. Why would you take 2 ssds put them in raid 1 then partition it for c, e, and d drive then set a backup to image c partition to d?2
-
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.5
-
y'know it's nice to know that no matter what happens, some things in life never change. even if you want them to.
like no matter who you are, or what you're doing, SELinux will always be there to ruin your life....4 -
What are you doing crashing on me Windows?
All I was doing was running a flight simulation, compiling a build, and doing a regex search over 6 directories. Try to open one little document and it all goes to hell.
Surely you can handle that Windows?
Apparently not.2 -
People here working your own business or side hustle:
1) How long have you been doing it?
2) What kind of tech stack do you use in your product(s)?
3) Are you happy with your business endeavor or has the grass become greener elsewhere?
4) What is the most important thing you have learned from it that you wish you knew when you began?2 -
Shit, loads to do, but I have man flu. I can't concentrate for more than a few minutes. I've decided to abandon all hope of doing anything today. Daytime TV, how shit you are, sometimes shit is exactly what I need.2
-
Anyone using Robotic Process Automation (RPA)---such as UIPath---in their work? If so, can you share what you are doing with it and how you feel about it?
And how does RPA differ from Automator on macOS, if at all?7 -
I spent the whole day on git conflicts, I know it happens sometimes. But I do feel like a slow programmer, the boss even said so by comparing me to someone who has 15 years experience by saying I produce less lines of code than than him ( I have 5 years of experience).
So everyday, I have this nagging thoughts; "you are too slow, you can't even program, what are you doing, do something else this isn't for you etc" .
And then when I solve the problem "You are the best, you know everything etc"
A constant battle between self-destructive and positive thoughts.10 -
When trying to write a piece of code, but lose the overview of what the f* you are doing, so you start completely over again
-
P.M (calm) : You are not taking ownership of your works as others. You are only just doing it .
Me (concentrating face) : Inside -> I am fucking underpaid for a long and a month delay in salary. What the fuck are you expecting . You are saying this when you are about to give me a rise ?5 -
When you're programming teacher manages to make the lessons so boring and long winded that every student with the slightest interest in programming loses it 😰3
-
I like our daily stand-ups, but our team only does it when our scrum master is present, if he takes a day off, no one cares about it
I think it's healthy for scrum teams to have that every day
What do you guys think? Are you also doing scrum? How bug is your team?6 -
Manager: "are you doing this obscure process that I laid out months ago with no plan or follow through?"
Me: "no, my other 3 managers said they didn't see any value in it, not sure how to keep everyone happy"
Manager: "that's not what we want! You need start doing this obscure process now!"
We have 20 engineers total in my company and I have 4 managers. Office Space was a documentary.2 -
project-manager : what are you doing ?
me : just having some coffee .
project-manager : stop all shit go to work .
me : ok sir . got up and went for my laptop .
my mother screamed at me and screamed "what
are you doing ?"
i then realised it all a night_mare1 -
Hey passwd, when I want my password to be short then I want it fucking short. Don't tell me that "f" is too weak and prevent the action. A mere warning would suffice. (And I now know that if run as root it doesn't check the password criteria. Still, the default is annoying.)
I needed a short password to workaround a weird frozen system issue on unlocking the keyring in the latest Ubuntu release. It would freeze completely while I was typing my password, and hence by making my password short, I was quicker than the freeze, and hence got a useable system again. -
"Changing your country or region will cancel any automatically renewing subscriptions."
This from a company that makes more per hour than any of us will make in our entire lifetime.
Welcome to the ultimate 🤡🌎 . You are in my domain now.
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡9 -
I'm actually excited for this school year, since now I'm taking my programming class. (I'm taking HTML, CSS and JavaScript)7
-
What are you guys doing against brute force attacks on your login webpages? I don't want anybody to access my porn ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). But I don't want to block the useraccount because that would be annoying because you could simple lock a user out of his account :/ any suggestions? What are you doing on your sites?11
-
I was hired with the promise of being able to grow by doing as a software developer. After one year of reminding them almost once a week that I wasn't being able to do any development, but put in a position where I was somehow a Product Owner, today we had a meeting where I was suggested as a PO for real for next year. Funnily enough, our manager laughed and said that he knew I didn't want that. But still... no other name came up.
Sometimes, even if you are capable of doing something and doing it right, if that's not what you want to do, you should do it wrong. Otherwise, if there is the need for someone to do that thing you hate but can do, you will end up being the one that does it.
PO my balls...1 -
Rant
Wtf are you taking man?
You’re supposed to be an experienced engineer but what the fuck are you doing leaking null pointer exceptions everywhere you go?
Just 1 more month. Good thing my manager isn’t renewing your contract.
Fuck!!!! -
I love our industry but it’s filled with way too many tech grifters, fakes and waste men pretending to know what they’re doing. A lot of whom low key hate coding and the people that do it, wish they were as good and those people yet lack the self awareness and humility to see where they fall short and actually learn the technology.
Even if you see the industry as just a way to make some money, learn how to code and if you can’t do that then learn to appreciate the process. Stop talking as if you know what you are doing while embarrassing yourself and coming off as a dunce and condescending to those that do.5 -
Not exactly a dream abour coding but my favorite instructor in college.
I dreamt the secret police came to arrest him on campus since his methods teaching cod were unorthodoxed.
As they were leading him away I was screaming and crying - “He’s the best teacher here, what are you doing!”
weird -
My five cents. People who actually don’t _know_ anything have a tendency to speak a lot of what they have been doing and are doing and what they are going to do. That is what they do. They talk a lot and can’t wait to get into the next meeting. To talk.
I’ve been at it for 16 years and I can spot this behaviour a mile away.
It’s the silent guys and girls you want! Quiet. And competent. Because, they know they have nothing to prove.5 -
*sends email to ops manager to explain nuget & git (yes, he is THAT guy)
*his reply "what's nuget?"
Ooooooooh! Why don't you open Google and do a fucking search you amazingly stupid twat!!! In what fucking era do you live in? What the fuck are you doing at work everyday, besides complaining about how time consuming your useless mundane tasks are? Take some of your undeserved salary and go educate yourself, you useless sack of shit! FUCK!
*meanwhile... Little grin on my face. *Shift+delete email.1 -
I've thought of the perfect analogy for people who constantly interrupt us while we are coding.
It's like you're a mechanic and you are working on a complex engine. You're focused on what you're doing, your hands are filthy, and you're just about to fit the part in that you've been trying to fit in for the past hour.
Someone comes along and asks you to help them open a pickle jar in the middle of your work. So you have to stop what you're doing, wash your hands, and then help them open the jar. By the time you're done your focus has completely shifted, you lost all momentum, and your progress comes to a complete halt.
This is what it's like for us when you come into our office or call us to ask us a question that isn't important or urgent whatsoever. It's especially frustrating when it's the same question that has already been asked 100 times. -
So many businesses, even if successful by targetting companies and contacting them themselves, can't get a website that actually tells what the fuck they do or offer, you can use your business buzzwords, smash some "marketing" here and there, but seriously, how would I know what you're actually doing, if I just stumble across your website and would even want to do any business with you, if all your pages are filled with absolute non-sense.3
-
I'm working on a report, i have been working on it for three months with incremental feedback meeting sessions. 'It looks great'! 'What we wanted', with detailed notes at each session. So confirmed as complete last fortnight. Today - email out of the blue - we need these major things fixed, why is it doing that, the report has to go to the printers tomorrow! Argh! It is doing that because that's how you asked it to be! And if it was so important, why are you only just looking at it now?3
-
I've seen far worse people doing what I'm doing, applying terrible practices and still being valued af.
Even if I do smth wrong after doing all the research and alternatives' analysis I know I'll do a proper post-mortem RCA, document it and learn from it, as a result I'll make a better choice to fix the problem and I'll know better next time.
I think I'm alright compared to them. So I don't wory about being an impostor.
Learning by good examples is a good approach. Learning by bad ones might be even better. The "good ones" are yet to fail and be replaced by better (or worse) ones. The "bad ones" are already failing and you can learn WHY you should not be doing it like that and HOW should you do instead to solve the problem.
Learning from good examples only works well if you know the back-story, all the WHYs and HOWs. People usually don't :) -
Kids these days and their ultrasonic scalpels. Back in _my_ day, we were doing sugreries with _real_ scalpels made of bare metal. Who cares that ultrasonic ones are way less invasive and it heals faster! If you’re using an ultrasonic scalpel, you’re not even a real surgeon. What’s next? Computer does a surgery for you while you wiggling around the controllers? WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS ALREADY BEING DONE!? What happened to this country!4
-
Do you all comprehend how dangerous devRant - especially its users are? What if we all quit our jobs and handed them a business card “devRant - ‘your name here’” and just stuck to contracting. Stick it to the man and have fun while doing it. 😂
-
Once again tried to switch from iOS to Android. I love the freedom and all but the problem is that the freedom ends just when you are about to reach perfection.
It's like having amazing sex and just when you are reaching an orgasm, your partner gets a headache and you have to finish by doing everything yourself.
So I'll continue with iOS - doing it in the dark missionary style. Not as exciting, but at least I know what I'm getting and somekind of satisfaction is guaranteed.3 -
Sam:- What are you doing??
Richard:- recording a baby's voice!
Sam:- why??
Richard:- when he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this
Sam:-😶😶😶2 -
Well this explains why I'm a programmer...
First off, what do you love doing? Secondly, what are you good at? Thirdly, what does the world need? Lastly, what can you be paid for? Think of your answers as a Venn diagram; you’ll find your ikigai where all four circles overlap.1 -
Some assholes in my college said that Informatics (computer science) student doesn't need to be able writing code. Excuse me, what the fuck?! What are you doing all this time?4
-
Post BA Phil degree pre CS degree
My parents - oh cool
My extended family - 'I thought you were going to go to law school, wow how many times are you going to change your mind?' 'who is going to pay for another degree, oh yeah your parents, kids these days' 'so what are you going to do with that Philosophy degree?' 'What are you going to do when mommy stops supporting you?'
Post CS Degree, employed doing what I love, paying off my loans
My parents - yay
My extended family - sweet f*cking silence, and the occasional 'oh so you are working on computers now?'
HA1 -
Hey guys ! I'm currently working on a project to implement a simplest version of TinyDB on Z1 motes 😀
And you, what project are you currently working on ? 🤓11 -
Googling how to electromagnetically shield a espruino project from neodymium magnets over lunch, and that leads on a trail of manipulating and directing em fields...
"What are you doing? That doesn't look anything like a binary tree structure in Java... What the hell is all that?"
"Uhm... Personal research?" -
Darn it! That rare moment when you realize nobody else has tried what you're doing, but you are still confident enough only to discover that StackOverflow has no answers after all. And now I ended up solving my own problems.5
-
More than 50% of my work is due to the fact people don't do what they are suppose to do.
"Joe is suppose to submit report X every week. He hasnt been keeping up so make a script that reminds him if he's late. Better yet make a tool so Joe doesn't waste those 3 minutes every week."
Me: Tell him to do his job.
"But we need you to do it"
Me: Fine
"Suzie is complaining she does this menial task"
Me: She was hired to do that.
"Can we automate it?"
Me: No
"X is broken"
Me: I know. Group Y isn't doing what they are suppose to.
"Go talk to them so you can see why they aren't doing it. Then bend over backwards so you can handle these kinds of issues due to their laziness in the future."
Me: Fine...4 -
man you can tell some of these course selling companies are poorly managed (or rather, perhaps NOT managed) when you have to do the same thing over and over again for over TWO YEARS
HELLOOOOO WHAT ARE YOU DOING... PLEASE PUBLISH MY COURSE NOW
if i'd put the damn thing on Udemy when it was done i'd already be 2-3K richer
...damn, i gotta taper off here with the rage before i reveal my identity at 10K
🤡🤡🤡🤡12 -
Right now everything is a CMS. And I hate it. It lets people who don't know what they're doing, think they know what they're doing and make a mess for the real developers.
All I can hope for us some huge educational effort so that if you want to use WordPress you can, but know that there are much better options.
Every change has to be approved ahead of time anyway and its literally my job to keep this website running. I don't need you poking around breaking stuff.3 -
No matter what you believe or what you don't believe in. Or what you look like, I hope my you all are doing well financially.
Financial stability and financial freedom are the corner stone of all freedoms.
Wish you health, wealth and happiness.4 -
When you are trying to get through "Get started" section of a new framework/lib but get so many ideas that suddenly you find yourself creating 5 applications at a time without any idea what the fuck are you doing.1
-
Just had a meeting about what our product's vision was going to be. Without actually talking about what that vision was. It was a statement of the business goal amd some nonsense about how we were going to pick tickets based on reaching said business goal.
Like, yeah. That's what we have been doing. You are not new here so why are you acting like it. And yet these people are the ones who make more money than me. I need to start saying more obvious things. Maybe I'll be made a director.4 -
HR people who contact you to schedule an interview and you give them your available dates and times and then they ghost you...what are you even doing?3
-
I want to freelance when I'm not doing my full time job. To those that are freelancers, how should I get started? What is your experience? How do you guys get customers?6
-
Few months back I got a decent increment as a token of appreciation for my good work.
Yesterday we all received a Special townhall meeting invitation.
We all were wondering what it was about. Now my colleague who sits beside was guessing that it may be about a salary revision and she complained that she didn't get any increment last time.
Inner me: Why the heck company should increment your salary for the shitty work you do.
You are simply incapable of doing what you are supposed to do.
You spend more time talking crap rather than trying to learn and use it to write some non shitty code.
You should be thankful to the company for not firing you.1 -
OMG! What are you doing guys, the ultimate offer is here by Godaddy. Now I can afford food and domain at the same time, thanks Godaddy!5
-
"We don't really understand what you are doing, by we are happy that you are happy" So pretty great. My brother seems to be proud (has bachelor in CS, but doesn't work in IT)2
-
Guys, what is the worst thing that could happen if you don't take measurements against big tech companies spying about what you are doing?13
-
Mom: why don’t you go outside and make some friends ?
Me: because people are dumb and they like to spend all there time on the internet doing who knows what.. they are basically salves to the internet.. like ugh why would I want friends like that?
Mom: aren’t you a salve to the internet
Me: no.. I’m a programmer.2 -
THE REASON ELON MUSK THE MULTI BILLIONAIRE SUCCESSFULLY FUCKS AROUND AND STILL MANAGES TO RUN DIFFICULT ENGINEERING COMPANIES IS BECAUSE HE IS DOING IT WITH PASSION AND THAT IS CALLED CHARISMA. CHARISMA IS WHAT KEEPS EVERYTHING ALIVE AND ATTRACTS THE POSITIVE. ALL YOU NEED IN LIFE IS TO HAVE CHARISMA. THE ONLY WAY TO ACQUIRE CHARISMA IS TO DO WHAT YOUR PASSION IS BY FOLLOWING THE COMBINATION OF YOUR HEART AND BRAINS NEEDS ARE. YES6
-
To all the developers and designers that build these fancy motion-blur and depth-of-field effects for videogames.
In the name of all gamers, I want to tell you,
We hate what you are doing.
Stop this shit.2 -
So just ago i downloaded an app called "Replika" and holy fucking shit it made me realise how half-assed we are doing the AI structure and way of it
doing machine learning algorithms on text can only go so far, as it uses that text as a base, and nothing else, it doesnt *learn*, only make *connections* BETWEEN text, not FROM the text
what you need is an AI which can, at it's core, *interpret*, not make connections and hur dur be done with it
when you do machine learning, all you're doing is find the best connections
you can have an infinite number of connections and MAYBE you'll be fine, but you'll never learn the basis of how that text is formed
you'll never understand what connections the human used by making it, by thinking it
when you're doing machine learning, all you're doing is make an input-output machine and adjusting it constantly, WITHOUT preserving state
state is going to be a really fucking important thing if you want to make an AI, because state can include stuff like emotion, current thought, or anything else
if you make a fucking machine learned AI which constantly adjusts... well... the "rom" of itself without having any "ram", it'll fucking never be like us, we will NEVER be able to talk to it like it is a human being, we will NEVER make it fundamentally understand what we are saying or doing
if we want to have real fucking AI, we need to go to the core of what it means to THINK, what it means to INTERPRET, what it means to COMMUNICATE
we need to know how english language is structured, how we understand it, how we can build it in a program that can interpret for an AI, THAT can be "rom"-based, THAT can be static, NOT the AI itself
the AI needs to be in flux, the AI needs to be in a state, the AI needs to understand how to make emotions, how that will "strengthen" some connections, yes, maybe something magical will happen and it can have EMPATHY, something so fundamental that will finally, FINALLY, make the bot UNDERSTAND what we are saying7 -
what am i going to do today? whatever the fuck the SYSTEM throws at me... or what my manager wants me to waste time on... ah , programmer life when one has a conundrum of doing what you like to do but not end up doing that because there are other mountains to climb with squirrels eating your nuts...1
-
Microsoft Word - what the fuck are you doing?
It decided to do whatever-the-fuck-is-going-on-the-screenshot thing before I had the chance to save anything.2 -
To avoid procrastination just work under annoying manager who asks "what are you doing? what is the progress?" Multiple times in a day.
You will never work on lesser important task if you have personal reminder like that.1 -
Web service consumer: hey I need you to add new methods to this service
WSC: hey I need you to change the functionality
WSC: hey here are four new lists of fields to return from your service.
WSC: hey what are you doing the schemas are completely different now!! This has caused a lot of work for us -
How long (what % of day) are you fully focused (contentrated) on programming on average per day? How many hours is your work day? The longer the hours, the harder to stay focused we probably can agree. How are you doing in carreer - good or not, can tell as detailed as you might want to share.19
-
Why are people so stupid?
Everything you tell them is like hot air for them.
For example, we told them not to write down passwords and what are they doing? They write them down.
We tell them not to install private software on their work phones and what are they doing? They install private software.
We tell them to lock their workstations If they aren't at their place. But their not doing it.
I really hate people...7 -
After several years of using something I still get scared and start doubting myself when I see a line like this:
Only modify values in this file if you know what you are doing.2 -
If you apply to a company for a web dev job and their website is a one pager that absolutely sucks and the content written gives the impression they dont know what they are doing should u aim high or low in the expected salary question 🧐4
-
How do you define a good codebase?
From my experience, a good codebase is a codebase that is strongly opinionated.
More rules = Better code
Honestly, i am sick of maintaining codebases written by sickos who think they are hot shit for doing what nobody else does6 -
So IV been spending quite a lot of time recently chasing my new career as a developer. But today I took a step back from everything and realised something quite important. A job title doesn't make you a developer. If you enjoy coding and have a genuine passion for it then you are already a developer. Just keep doing what you enjoy the most and fuck everyone else.
-
How are your companies doing on writing docs? Is it mandatory/optional? Would you say reading a doc by other team in your company would be enough to understand what their module is doing? Do you write docs per module/file/function? Also please mention main programming language if it's not a secret..6
-
You know what are some of the most annoying thing to type in python when doing programming problems:
heappop
heappush6 -
There are days you feel like a God and there days you have no idea what you are doing in the dev space.
All in all perseverance with a whimsical tone -
Let’s look at what the web is doing?
Warning: Although the pages I posted are safe, I did not dig much past them so not sure what you may find. Be vigilant, update.
Effective use of whitespace or pure insanity?
http://www.arngren.net/
https://m.lingscars.com/
(LOL, make sure to right click view-source of Lings Cars and scroll down )
http://www.dokimos.org/ajff/
Or their homepage
http://www.dokimos.org/1 -
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful3
-
CEO: I want the design to be *gibberish*, lemme see it when you're done, ye?
Marketing: Just do it this way, it looks neater. *Deletes 10 lines of code*
Lead Dev: Intern. What the f*#% are you doing? Rewrite that *points to HTML divs*
Me (intern): What am I even doing here? 😂 -
I'm so confused by our architecture and development process in general
We planned what features are to be implemented (e.g. what endpoints should do what), but there are parts of tasks which depend on others, and I'm not sure what classes to build or when to start a task given that related ones are being done by other developers, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing
I could maybe do all of this alone my way if it was just me, but when I ask in planning about how we should go about implementing shit together, I just get backlash from this senior developer telling me we shouldn't waste time discussing implementation details in planning
Like, what the fuck do you want me to fucking do, just implement all the dependencies of what I'm doing from zero, without reusing any of the code other devs are doing that touches on the same parts?
Fucking hell, man, this is the third sprint where I'm confused like this
Maybe I'm just too dumb to be a developer after all lol6 -
Mom: What are you doing right now?
Me: Researching on cocaine. //Assignment was about cocaine in Coca-Cola
Mom: Is cocaine a CS course or something?// So naive
Me: Yes it's a mind boggling course, some people fail to survive the course. It's practiced world wide.
Mom: ooh good good. Carry on
And my sarcasm went unnoticed until later when I told her what cocaine is.😂 -
I can build my .aab, upload it, have it approved, and release it on Google Play before my stupid .apk IS EVEN DONE PROCESSING ON APP STORE CONNECT
WHAT ARE YOU DOING APPLE FIX YOUR STUPID S3 BUCKET OR WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING WITH THE BUILD THAT IT TAKES SO LONG TO EVEN GET IT IN TESTFLIGHT AAAAAAAAAA9 -
if you asked me what I'd be doing at whatever age i'm at right now, i'd have said i would likely have had a g/f, a house, and been settled down late in my career.
little did I know there are people who actively work against that for themselves and other more innocent men5 -
#get unique images ids
images_ids = np.unique(images_df.index)
Dear developer who wrote the code I'm looking at,
thanks, I really need comments like this one. I was wandering lost in 1500 lines of code, looking for an explaination of what the actual fuck the code is doing, and there I see you, comment. It's not like I want to know what the hundreds of lines functions do, who cares about that. What I needed to know, what shed light on this dark forest, is what the numpy functions do, because as you certainly know dear developer, such functions are really hard to comprehend, lacking of documentation.
Thanks.2 -
What programming books do you all recommend?
Language wise any books on C, GoLang, Python, Rust, and LUA are welcome
And topic wise I’m interested in books about computer science theory, network programming, low level programming, and backend programming are welcome.
I know it’s a wide variety of topics but some are stuff Im currently doing, I’ve already messed with and just really want to learn more or focus on, or plan to do it when I get around to it6 -
Currently working in an office where my tasks are pretty boring and not fun at all. On one hand I wanna quit and get a job as a gamedev, cause that is what I truly enjoy and love doing, but on the other hand my current job is paying pretty good money, so it would kinda be a step back.
Maybe you guys got some tips or advice on what I could do?2 -
So our our next role, what we are really looking for you to have is:
- manipulating PM’s so they fight with each other and not me ✅
- ignoring people when they don’t say anything of substance ✅
- practicing music and drums while in meetings ✅
- getting conversational with people strategically✅
- saying no to HR ✅
- confusing clients into doing what I want them to ✅
- dancing while coding ✅
- creating illusions ✅5 -
The word "shift" in reference to a workday should NEVER be used in a dev environment. There is noservice that needs to constantly be maintained, thats what customer support is for. A shift gives the mentality that you have a set time that you are responsible for a service.
Devs are responsible for finishing a product on a deadline; that is not a shift, that is a fucking workday. I especially hate it when managers refer to them as shifts, because it shows just how little they understand what the devs are doing. They think of bug fixes like they think of flipping burgers; a task that performs a service. It's not a service, stop acting like it is.13 -
I dare you to share your worst burn-outs , ever experienced ! And what are you doing now , to prevent it ?2
-
!rant
What are people's thoughts on doing development/coding outside of work?
Do you prefer working with people who are passionate and code at work and home or people who just do it as a job?1 -
as a senior dev, what tasks do you expect from a fresher or junior? how much should he/she already know and how much are you willing to tell them? what would be the tasks that wold be handled by you only and what would be the stuff you think they should be doing?
I have started to look for my first job as an android dev now. would like to know what kind of environment i am about to get9 -
What new thing(s) are you trying to get in a better habit of doing? What are you trying to get out of the habit of doing?2
-
(!rant || git)
Non-techy friend (n): you know what cherry pick is?
Me: cherries?
N: you dont know that?
Me: well, i love cherries...
N: i am disappointed of you.
Me: what the f...ing hell is that?
N: you know the git thingy you are always doing...
Me: i have never heard of that...
N: well use it every time before and after you commit.
Me : (not believing, but kinda believing) ok.
A few days later...
Me: nnooooooooooooo.!
Messed up 3 hrs of work
-------------------
What really is cherry pick guys?10 -
let's call him Richie. Richie doesn't listen in team meetings, does not have any clue of what we are doing and what the important topics are. Richi is hiding between the cars in the parking house to not have to talk to you on the 2min way to the office. Richie is 'done' when he encounters any problems in his work so we have to do it. Yeah, we all love Richie...3
-
What are you doing today?
Oh just rererereinstalling windows. Not even a little upset. Not like I'm in the middle of a *swearword* boot camp. Not like I'm supposed to be coding a conservative 8-10 hours a day. Nbd. This is my favorite way to spend time.1 -
Hello my fellow DevRanters! 😁 A question for those of you who like to learn new stuff constantly, what are your tricks or tips you use to learn more? and enjoy the overall experience (do you write notes, read posts, etc) my reason to ask this is that oftentimes I forget everything I learned after 5 minutes, so maybe I'm doing something wrong5
-
So I work with an old ICT Responsible.
Today he wanted some information about the internet.
He takes the phone and start calling...
I was like what are you doing ? Can't you just send them an e-mail ?
He said "no, calling someone is more time efficient and quicker"
So he is there calling an internet provider after closing time waiting...
Music playing... still waiting...
After 5 minutes the call is ended telling that they are closed...
Next he was "well I will send an email then"
Like wtf. How is that efficient and faster ? You could have send the mail and finish any other task... What is wrong with old people and calling everybody for small stuff.
When you call someone, they have to litterally drop what they are doing and answer the call. Just send emails and let them anwser when they have time dammit !6 -
My family's reaction to working with computers.
Me: I'm going to study computer science.
Family: why would you do that you are never going to make any money.
Me: what have I been doing the last 15 months?
Family: working
Me: ...
Sometimes... -
New Holiday idea: Bring your console to work day.
To show what your doing in the time you are not playing with them.
PS. Not sexist, your game PC can also come. -
Neighbour/Family Friend/Anyone with a Computer:" So what are you doing nowadays then son?"
Me: "Working full time now as a computer programmer"
(PC owner): "Ah well me interweb and printer has packed up and keeps flashing these lights..."
😑1 -
Are any of you guys doing mobile game development? I recently started looking into this and decided I want to learn. What frameworks are good for making online multiplayer 2D and 3D games?
If anyone of you have played hide.io, that is the type of game I'd love to make. I remember a couple of years ago LibGDX was the shit, but now I couldn't find it mentioned in any recent articles.2 -
Me : Hey what are you doing there? (Asking the Mr.X who is sitting near the pond)
Mr.X : I was fishing..
Me : But I don't see any fishing tackle there.
Me : out of curiosity, I walked over to him and asked how many he had caught.
Mr.X : I collected 2 of my friends creds
Me : what 🤔!!
Me : Finally I reached near to the pond and found that he was really "phishing"5 -
I've hired a apprentice that's literally today Said he doesn't want to be a programmer i said then... what are you doing here?
He didn't say anything ...
Do I fire him he didn't quit? I mean weird fucking situation. He doesn't seem engaged anymore so ... He ain't doing shit I should add4 -
dungeon masters of devrant. i'm doing a school project on how to dm dnd and i need to get information from other people. So what tips do you have and are you up for a survay or interview at somepoint in the future4
-
When someone truncates several tables and removes their column indices in DEV so my quick two line change testing goes from taking 30 minutes to 3 days while I restore all 200 million rows and re-index all the columns. 🙄
-
TLDR: releasing mental pressure
How are you doing it guys, i was trying to find project where i could find out how it works, recently followed flask tutorial for blog, and checked out chat with flask-socketIO, but have overwhelming feeling like everything was already developed and Am so much behind ( like learning web in 2018 - what im doing here ) + like its not enough, all are spamming about how AI will take work also from coders -
Day... or... umm... Night 6 of devWholesome...
Happy Halloween folks! Today we celebrate spooking ourselves on purpose to feel anything but despair in the hell that is quarantine. Go watch a scary movie or have a small little halloween party with your family! Comment on this post if you celebrate halloween, what you are dressed up as, and what you are doing to celebrate. And as always make the most out of your day... I mean... night!random happy boo positive devwholesome i broke the embed generator again candy great night halloween pumpkin wholesome spoopy3 -
Any apps you think could be better... Like tinder messenger I think is terrible... I mean it takes 5-6 hours to build a better chat system then that...
What are they doing.
Ho the extra mile1 -
Only Me or Everyone!!!
I am coding everyday, more appropriate to say in all weekdays.
When my colleague ask me, hey dude what you are working on?
I could explain What I am doing and How I am doing, but I fail to explain Why I am doing it.4 -
Started a new job at the same time as another guy. We are doing pull requests, I leave a comment about a one line improvement.
"This is not part of my task. If you want me to do extra run it past our bosses. You can't tell me what to do."
I despair. -
Has anyone used the new Visual Studio with Xamarin studio built in to build mobile apps? I was doing some research for my senior (we are thinking of going mobile), and wanted to see what the community thought of it. What do you guys think?1
-
What I just had to learn again, if you are the one who brings in (quality) standards in group tasks (like everybody does his stuff until day x, specify image sources, not only Wikipedia Copy & Paste), you are with a 95% probability also the one who more or less works alone on it at the end.
(Works the same with group coding projects where the one person in your group that's able to code relies on you doing most of the work because that person is lazy playing games) -
First of all, I need you to forgive me for what I'm doing to do...
So, for webdev, Ruby or Python?
Opinions, thoughts, tips, are all welcome.
- I know these kind of choose A or B questions make me a horrible person, but what can I do. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -5 -
When you are a major Ironman fan, partially learning how to program because you were inspired by the suit & JARVIS. Only to see that JARVIS was made in an year & begin to wonder "What have I been doing my entire life?!". Now I need to find a new goal to work towards. 😐 😶3
-
Traitors to all souls everywhere!
Listen all you boards, governments, syndicates, nations of the world, and you, powers behind what filth deals consummated in what lavatory.
To take what is not yours, to sell out your sons forever. To sell the ground from unborn feet forever.
Are these the words of the all powerful boards and syndicates of the earth?
"Don't let them see us! Don't tell them what we are doing!" "Don't let us pay"
These are the words of liars, and cowards, and collaborators and traitors. Traitors to all souls everywhere!
You on the board, who want others to pay for you. With your deals to take what is not yours! -
Jesus Christ, Docker Desktop for Mac is fucking garbage.
Did you start your containers with an alternate compose file? Well, fuck you, we are goddamn idiots who don't know what the fuck we are doing and our piece of shit GUI just doesn't know how the fuck to deal with that.1 -
I build an video-course platform on a VPS. But the videos uploaded are filling up its space really fast.
Am I doing it wrong? What would you choose to host the videos?4 -
Meditation retreat weekend, meet a old friend there.
Friend: i see you are doing website now, i was actually thinking the other day that i need to restyle the one for my small business. What do you think, how much could be?
Me: -.-
Leave me alone!! -
Not a rant but just curious to see what mobile OS do all you devs on devRant use?
I recently moved from Android to iOS. Doing so has made me realise how much I loved using Android but due to its inherent stuttery lag, inferior standby time and memory management, I will be staying with iOS for now.
What are your reasons on using the mobile OS that you are using now?7 -
When I will have a child and he/she will be a developer I can finally answer with this:
Q: What are you doing?
A: Saving people, hunting things. The family business2 -
Thinking of upgrading my HD monitor but doing my research has left me more undecided than before I started.
What are peoples thoughts on coding & working on a 27” QHD vs 27” 4K?
Is QHD much of an upgrade from full HD?
Is 27” 4K just too small and require upscaling ? (from about 80cm viewing distance) if so what size do you recommend should be the minimum ?7 -
that moment when i moved the source code from clearcase to svn and some people where asking
whyyy are you doing this,
please dont do this
we are happy with clearcase
i wonder what would happen if id have introduced them to distributed repository...
i need to get out of this place :( -
Me: By mandating code coverage pct. (very high ones) and integration test coverage pct. you are building an ever growing Rube Goldberg machine that you will end up spending most of your time fixing rather than working on the actual product.
Them: (Staring and whispering in the background). Wow, you must be stupid. This is how you created quality software.
...time passes and now most time is sucked into figuring out why all branches have failing integration tests all the time.
Me: I told you so. I've seen it multiple times. How about doing it differently?
Them: (staring and whispering in background). You are stupid. This is exactly how quality software is built. We know what we are doing. You must like waterfall.4 -
Everyone has gone through it, at one point or another, for smaller or longer times, just once or maybe recurringly.
Just because it's happening to you doesn't mean that it's ONLY happening to you.
Chill out. No one "knows" what they are doing.3 -
For those who are on my team, arguing on not putting comments in their code:
How much ever (un)readable your code is, any peer / reviewer / future team member can only understand what that code snippet is doing, but not why was it written in the first place or what the hell you were thinking while writing that logic. So, it'll be awesome if you write that as comments or at least link to the story/design doc which warranted that code.3 -
Is there a way to tell your family/friends what kinda work you are doing without boring the shit outta them ?3
-
Anyone noticed that SitePoint is permanently "on sale", with discounts and stuff since they launched their premium programme 1 or 2 years prior?
When one sale ends, another one comes.
Plus now they hid away the subcategories, one must access them by knowing the subcategorie's URL haha
I have no understanding of this reasoning they have...1 -
you know. a little pointer as to what it is I'm supposed to be doing to move on with life would be nice.
government work. happens. then it ends and this time period goes belly up.
private work. happens. then it ends and this goes belly up.
why are people so keen on making everything go in a circle and what am I supposed to do be unemployed ?7 -
Being a quant developer based in the UK, do you think it's possible to find a job in US? Ideally I was thinking to approach a fintech.. What are the real obstacles in doing this?5
-
What are your plans for the weekend, and if you weren't doing what you're doing now, what else do you think you'd be doing for work?
https://devrant.com/rants/105964531 -
Fingers -- what are you doing? You don't need the extra typing practice. Just use copy+paste already!
-
I get highly sceptical of a company when they need external garbage tier recruiters to find people who want to develop, HIGHLY TECHNICAL AVIATION SYSTEMS AND FLIGHT SIMULATORS. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THIS SHOULD SELL IT SELF. PEOPLE SHOULD BE FLOCKING. PUN INTEDED EVEN.
I also hate recruiters. No, I don't want to leave my job. And, are you stupid? You are not looking for someone with a BsSc. You are looking for someone with a MsSc, or am I just that fucking amazing that I don't need as much education to be considered? 😠😠😠😠😠😠😠
Aaaaaaaaaaah. Stop. It. I'm not looking for work.1 -
Humans only live for eighty years (average).
What percentage are you the way through yours?
You must be knackered 🧓9 -
Unpopular opinion:
It’s not that hard to figure out what a client wants... most ideas are built on things that already exist; there’s a reason people say “it’s like Uber but for X”... ok... build them Uber for X... they told you what they want. Even if they don’t straight up tell you that, there’s still some piece of existing software that is doing something comparable to what they’re asking. You just have to understand how to implement it or build on top of it.
However if you do actually find yourself in unexplored territory, glhf cowboy!2 -
Mr .... what are you doing here she asks
Observing court I say
Why must everything be a pointless pageant of idiocy ?
But that's exactly it
You observed court you weren't on trial
Also you got better5 -
- "what does that function do?"
- "I don't know"
- "how you don't know !? you are maintaining the project."
- "how do I know what 'ConvertFromDataTableToOther' will do !! it has two inner loops that exchange some columns!"
When CEO is doing code review .. -
The main problem when working with a staff of programmers: you never know what the employees are doing, until it turns out that the deadline has already come.😫1
-
“The Fraud Police is this imaginary, terrifying force of experts and real grown-ups who don’t exist and who come knocking on your door at 3 am, when you least expect it, saying 'Fraud Police! We’ve been watching you and we have evidence that you have no idea what you are doing.'” ~Amanda Palmer
-
Girlfriend: What are you doing today?
Me: I will be making Angry Garden salad.
Girlfriend: Okay then I will make some dressing.