Make sense ...

Comment your own code.

"But nobody except me will see..."

COMMENT YOUR OWN CODE!!!

The only colleague I'd ever need.

I'm really not much of a drinker, but last night I was apparently.

I thought I played video games until I passed out on the couch and was carried to bed.

This morning, my laptop reveals to me that I had an idea for a web app last night because I made a very misspelled, yet highly detailed to do list for the app, a very blank index file, and 37 open tabs of what looks like research for certain web features.

Project seemed to be some sort of organization thing with a lot of really random and unrelated features like "fruit meterr that scales different fruits you earn" (what does that even mean??) and "sassy bill reminder".

I'm closing out all the tabs I had opened, when I see the tab showing the domain name I chose and bought. I even got the SSL certificate and email domain purchased.

Drunk me seemed to have been really excited about this idea 😶

Guy: you said you were a software developer right?
Me: Yes
Guy: Do you know how to reset my phone?
Me: You do know a reset will wipe out all contacts.
Guy: Yes
Me: What phone do you have?
Guy: iphone
Me: (looks it up on google and shows him it)
Guy: is that a special app?
Me: its google
Guy: oh

I swear this was tuesday night and i was the one out of us that was drinking

Dug out my 15 yr old childhood PC today, the stickers back then were surprisingly honest

*pushed some PR

*Lead dev reviews code

-- code --
if (a === b) {
doSomeShit();
}

-- comment --
"Can't you use our own library and use the equal() function inside it?"

*updated, but curious so I looked inside the library

const equal = (a,b) => (a === b)

WHAT THE FUCK IS THE DIFFERENCE???

Non-dev friend : hey I've got a cool idea, we'll create a site where people can post jobs and people can bid for it. We'll name it freelance.com. We gon be rich!!!!..

Me: okay....

Friend: so you in?

Me: No.

Friend: It's really easy, just build it like you built that website you did the other day (talking a landing page he saw me do in a week). In 2 weeks, we'll be millionaires. You'll do all the programming stuff, so you get 30% of the money, I'm the idea guy so I get the other 70%. About that, you in now?

Me: have you heard of odesk, freelancer, jobberman.

Friend: no... Does a freelance site exist.

Me: boy, it's 2016.

Friend: I just thought of it few minutes ago and my other friends thought it was a great idea.

Me: 🙈🙈🙈🙈😶🔫🔫🔫

I go to unlock my car, but the button I usually use is gone. Instead now it unlocks by long-pressing the car handle.

Ok, got it.

Then my ignition isn't there? Oh, it's in the middle of the steering wheel now? Ok.. but it doesn't work? Oh I have to sign in with Google or Facebook, alright...

Wait, where's my odometer? Oh this is "card" view, and I guess I want "compact" view, huh. Is there a dark theme? Guess not.

Why can't I shift? Oh the stick is a hamburger button now, weird. Um, and reverse is in a sub-menu? That's going to get annoying.

Alright just need to look in the mirror to see if.. wtf? You call this "responsive" or something? I can't see out that tiny window.

I'm very disappointed in all this, I wonder if I can roll back. Oh WHERE ARE THE BRAKES OH GOD

UX DESIGNERS

HAVE

FUCKING

KILLED ME

WHY DID WE TRUST THEM AND THEIR GODFORSAKEN UPDATES

We should create
a `make` command
that auto-fixes building problems
by recursively trying solutions
found on stackoverflow.

I designed a logo for a family member's business with the expectation that I would receive payment once the work was completed. I wasn't expecting a lot, I only really do freelance work for software but I know my way around Illustrator. I'm not one to charge family anywhere near full price and I felt no contract was needed. We were back and fourth for a little bit, getting the logo to his liking. Silly me during all of this didn't watermark any of the images I was sending (didn't think I'd have to, you know... Family) and a little while later he's gone and ordered shirts with the logo on it without paying or even contacting me. When I confronted him about it, he pulls out the whole "No contract was made" bullshit. It's ridiculous how arrogant people can be, I was asking for $50. I put a good 15 hours into it with all the alterations he wanted. 15 hours I could have spent on actual clients.

TLDR; Designed a logo for a family member without a contract, he decided not to pay.

2 mins of silence for all those rants you composed, yet you chose to not post it.

So many interruptions!
So many distractions!

I just want to fucking finish this refactor. I dont' care about meetings, texts, bloody office game tournaments, lunchtime, gossip, or people trying to be friendly. Just let me fucking work!

If you see me rocking out with my headphones on and working furiously, seriously, just don't fucking interrupt. I'll bite.

So my school forced everyone to buy a Chromebook G4 Education Edition which came with ChromeOS and we had to sign some shady e-policy. Days after I got it, I opened it up and manually reflashed the BIOS so I could use SeaBIOS and install Arch Linux.

Great, so I went on to instal Chrome and it was really slow and performance heavy, then I installed the new Firefox and it ran a lot faster...

*So hehe, Firefox works better than Chrome on a Chromebook!*

Hello sticker!

*Am I the only one here who taking pictures of stickers with face?

When you receive a new task to disable a feature that hasn’t been used for months and deploy the changes to production, the last thing you expect is:
> deployment successful
> 5 seconds pass
>
>
> you got mail
> why does this no work anymore

Are you fucking kidding me!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

IT WORKS AFTER 3 HOURS!

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"Another one bites the dust.." BEEP BEEP BEEP!
😬 "Shit, make that two."

Down from 5TB redundant to 3TB non-redundant and still waiting for my new Reds. No choice but to shut everything down and wait. 😩

Me: "DRY (Don't Repeat Yourself) is a good mentality."
Other devs @ company: "I'm so wet rn."

I got so annoyed by dumb github issues, which aren't issues, but features requests that are technically impossible to make, I started answering them only with memes.

Should I add this to crontab?
(found this hanging in the office)

CLI geeks, this is what happens when you are too tired on Fridays

Started with learning C.
Made the first big mistake right at the start.
NOTE TO ME:

NEVER EVER SEARCH FOR "C STRING" WHILE WORKING.

Famous last words 🙌

The only time I don't confuse push/pull is when using git.

My university organised a series of shitty seminars and due to shortage of registration it was going to be made mandatory. Registration was a simple google form without sign in, so i wrote a python script and filled the google form with characters of Game of Thrones , Breaking bad and Narcos series. Now the seminar is cancelled.

I promise (for myself) I'll comment my code from now on...

When Its 4PM and you're trying to read the Code you wrote at 3AM.

Hard decision...

Thanks for these cool stickers :)

Dear sales team please stop promising the customer stuff that doesn't exist within the system and then promising them dates for getting said functionality without discussing it with the product team let alone the development team. Also repeating 'but I promised the customer they'd have it by august' will not make 6 months of development work fit into that time frame!

"I know HTML"

In an alternate universe, devs live in their own country.

They make their own rules and dictate how much they are paid. They maintain the entire world’s infrastructure.

They don’t go to work, since their entire country is the workplace and guess what? Cold beers are free(a thank you from the beer company guys for coming up with all their inventory management systems)

Pizza is free too.

There is no government (laws are passed depending on upvotes on devRant )

No racism, sexism or any other ism ending words . Devs just code.

Oh, and the state police, preferably known as keyboard warriors patrol the streets and offenders are punished by limited internet speeds. 😂. It is said some actually commit suicide because of this unbearable punishment.

Fuck yeah they have coffee farms. That’s the only thing they don’t accept as *gratitude from other nations because those sons of bitches might fuck that up too.

And everyone drives teslas 😂

Okay I have to get back to work now. That multi universe travel machine won’t buy itself.

Please Java and all java shit, take more memory I don't need it -_-
16GB doesn't seem to be enough to have a VM and Android Studio Open but it is more than enough to have
1. Visual Studio
2. SQL Server Management Studio
3. VM
4. FireFox
5. Visual Studio code

Fuck. This. Shit!

I'm freaking the fuck out.
After months of learning from bootcamp and on my own, after a month of no resumes replied to, after almost giving up I finally got a job opportunity in front-end web development.
The thing is, I have to pass their online test to verify my JavaScript-fu.
3 hours.
4 tasks.
And I feel like garbage who can't understand even the most basic algorithms.
By the power of Grayskull, I don't think I have the power...
Wish me luck.

Sometimes.....

When I want to escape how dull/repetitive/boring the world of web development is. I crack open a nice lil terminal, dust off my gcc/g++ compilers and fuck around in C or C++ till my eyes start to bleed.

I have been fucking around with systems development. Mainly with Linux programming. I have also started to get deeper on game engine design and compiler design....because low level development is where its at.

A man can only fuck around rest apis, css and html and the endless sea of Javascript and other dynamic languages for so long before going crazy.

Eventually.....I would want to code something impressive enough to give me a spot somewhere as a C or C++ developer. I just can't work with web development any longer man. It really is not what I want to do, the fact that I do it(and that I am good at it) is circumstantial more than because I really enjoy it. I really don't

A story before the start of another week,

So last Friday, one of the business guy came over and asked a rather peculiar request, the conversation went like this,

"" -> business guy
// -> me/colleague

"Can you export the code from the repo?"

//uhh, sorry, what?

"Yeah, can you export, the code, from the repo? The latest one?"

//as in the code? You're asking for the source code?

"Yep, that's the one"

//oookay..., what is the purpose of that? What are you going to do with it?

"Nothing, just so that we have it"

//well, we do have it, stored securely in the repo

"Yeah but we need the code, as, you know, physically? not the one in the repo, we want to kinda have another copy for ourselves, just put it in a zip or something"

//again, we already have it stored in the repo, what do you need another copy for?

"Ahhh, you know, just that we know that we have some kind of proof of the state of the progress... of the feature (insert hand gesture) that we're working on, so that we know that we have reached... this... far, or something like that"

//that's what the versions are for, we can always rollback to whichever... past... state (insert hand gesture) that we have done and/or doing, everything is there in the repo,

"Uhhh, it's not much about versions or anything really..."

//so?

"You know, we need like a... documentation of some kind, for ourselves"

//so the code you're asking would be obsolete immediately, there're new changes everyday,
//it's better if you request an access for the repo and refer to a specific version from there if you want to document it,
//we can't compare the copy of the code if something went "not as you would have liked it",
//the documentation would be confusing as the code it's referring to is not the correct source of truth

"Hmmm, yeah, requesting repo access would require a some kind of a strong reason to be approved, besides it's gonna take a while, and it's not about comparing really, its just..., so that we have a copy of the code for our own... documentation"

//(I smell bs) well the argument stands, the code is going nowhere, it's there in the repo, if you would like a copy, request an access for the repo, and you can read/copy/document it all you like from there,

*then it goes for 20 more minutes of roundabout pleas about "documentations" and "having a copy of the code" with other colleagues before the guy gave up and went to think about requesting repo access,

In the rules, repo access is restricted for developer only, except for those with good and acceptable reason can have one, and requesting an access requires some strong reasoning and quite a lengthy procedure for non developer,

Until today, I still can't figure out the context/motive behind the request 🙃

Probably some bs they tried to pull, again,

In electronics there's 3 options.
1. You pay a small fortune to get something decent.
2. You pay a smaller fortune to get crap.
3. You build it yourself and it'll be nicely priced AND decent.

Why is that? I have no idea. Profiteering gluttons perhaps.

Case in point: my watch. A waterproof one, so you'd expect to be able to take it in the shower, which I often did.
But then, le wild drop from 50cm height occurred and the whole thing just popped open, with soapy water rushing in. Luckily it didn't short out, and I quickly evacuated it out of the shower and dipped it with my towel.

Then already I thought.. what the fuck is wrong with the designers of this thing?! I'm all for keeping the inner parts of electronics accessible for self-servicing. But in a waterproof watch you wouldn't expect the backside to pop right off and expose the bloody internals, would you? So that's one thing. While evacuating it I quickly figured that I'd want to remove the battery immediately.. except that fucking thing was screwed in place?! WHAT THE FUCK?!! Use those screws to keep the fucking backside of the watch in place you certified pieces of shit that designed this craptacular piece of garbage!!!

Finished showering, went ahead and troubleshooted the thing. Miraculously it still worked. Except that now the UI of the fucking thing is biting me in the ass. A single button on the watch is used to operate the whole thing, and get it to set itself to the correct time, get radio signal, go in sleep mode (where the watch stops ticking, for storage purposes) and activate itself again. So I dived into the manual.. and still couldn't get it to work properly. So it's got one button just like an iPhone, it craps itself when it's dropped just like an iPhone, its design is shit just like an iPhone, and it's completely unusable when it craps itself just like an iPhone.

And the manual... Oh fucking shit. It specifies that the watch is 3 bar water resistant, yet apparently you can't take it into the shower. 3 FUCKING BAR!!! That's supposed to enable you to take a fucking dive with it! And apparently you can't drop it either.. who would've thought, when they lock it with no more than outwards pressure from the back plate into the main body! How difficult can it be to use fucking screws, and to make it watertight put some rubber bands or whatever?!

CERTIFIED MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

And the watch, it's in the garbage can right now. Right where it belongs!!

Once it really hit me hard. The father of my brothers wife once told me that I'm not fit for IT in general. He thinks that I have pseudo knowledge of IT and Programming.

He just works parttime at home as "computer scientist" and sells routers, pc and such stuff to some private customers. Before he used Filemaker and sayd that he already coded his own CRM with it.

When he said that it really made me sad. But after we talked I looked back what I already achieved:

1. I build for me and friends custom PC's with Case mods and Hard Tube watercooling
2. I can programm in HTML5, CSS3 and PHP
3. I raised a Community with over 60 people in it. We got 2 dedicated Linux Roots (I7-6700K, 64GB RAM, SSD)
4. I manage the Linux Servers on my own with VoIP, Mail-, Web-, MySQL- and Gameservers
5. I built up a complete Community Solution with Game Groups, Forum, Tournament System and a lot of custom scripts.
6. Now Im almost finished learning the C++ Basics to code and manage to learn the beginning of GUI/UX programming.
7. Next thing Im gonna learn is Javascript (Browser) and Java, so I can complete my Web Skills and also can code Java Desktop Apps and Java game plugins (don't rant, Javascript is not the same as Java, I know 😉)

So I thought to myself "maybe in the eyes of others Im not a computer scientist, but then Im on the way to be one at least"

But please dont be a douche (the father) and prejudice me, before you don't know what I already can and achieved.

Just because you're are selling computer parts and installing them doesn't mean, that you are a computer scientist and telling me that I'm not 😉

In IT you're the smith of your own merit!

This is not facebook, but somehow yhis site has attracted who are virtually, mentally incapable of differentiating between their script kiddy hacker facebook group and anything that can be called a social media platform.

Sorting by recent and daring to toggle on jokes/memes is a pure shitshow of freshly created accounts who post "memes" of the same purity as their mother. And to finish it off they add that super relatable comment "hahah", "funny" and a couple of emojis. Totally makes me wonder if I end up being called comedy god for posting "peepee poopoo" on the site they "shared" it from.
Yes, shared and not stolen for the sake of that little dopamine rush when they see that 4 other people who try to escape their shitty form of reality thought you deserve to be proud for those couple of finger movements you used to put this on devrant and not to jack off.

Not even that spares you from their awful humor, because thanks to their disability to red, they think they can just smash that big red button and post their garbage in the wrong category, yet somehow they have the obligation to add an absurd amount of tags telling you that they've tried to post a joke and I honestly feel sorry for the database table who has to store so variations of "jokes/meme" for this shit.

Thr quality of these memes degrades with each time I open devrant, just like my patience for these shitposters.

I've seen a couple of people who cancled their monthly subscription for devrant, to show their discontent with these user and my urge to do the same has gotten stronger recently.

DevRant as it is right now is on it best way to stray away further from what it meant to be every day

.DS_Store: I hope you and your creator burn in hell.

I got really pissed off with this company. Why you ask? Well, first off they send me an email for applying with them for a job. Ok, harmless. I wait a couple of weeks and they send me another email. I'm excited, perhaps I got the job! NOPE it's the fucking same email for the fucking same job. I half assed their application the second go around because I was pissed off with them. In their section about uniqueness I essentially gave them the finger.

The more I use Devrant the more I realise how annoying it must be for @dfox and @trogus because not only do they have to make a great app and appease their users like every other app, few others apps have a community that is capable of finding and highlighting every single tiny flaw.

It must be kind of nice but also kind of annoying. Like having a doctor as a patient.

Explaining to the client that you can't push untested changes to production and expect it to be bug free.

I decided to give my old keyboard a makeover. The top bezel used to be silver in color.

Dell SK-8125

This makes sense.

...ive been on call for 27 minutes. Have had 2 calls already. One "resolved itself as [their] coworker restarted the server on [their] end" and the other didn't realize the page they were trying to load was decommed 2 years ago. They submitted the request.

I'm sick, annoyed already, and don't want to deal with this, but will because it's my job. Kind of. I have to respond to the call, even if it's fucking dumb.

Can't code with hiccups. 😠😠

!rant

If I am responding to a rant or a comment. I would like to be able see the rant or the comment. When writing comments I have found myself paddling between the post and my soon-to-be comment because I forgot what I was responding to in the first place.

Look at the attached image. There's a lot of wasted space that could be useful for this. I think this would be a huge QoL improvement. What do you think?

Writing comments done right by udacity

/**
* We couldn't come up with a good name for this class. Then, we realized
* that this lesson is about RecyclerView.
*
* RecyclerView... Recycling... Saving the planet? Being green? Anyone?
* #crickets
*
* Avoid unnecessary garbage collection by using RecyclerView and ViewHolders.
*
* If you don't like our puns, we named this Adapter GreenAdapter because its
* contents are green.
*/

When make runs successfully and without gcc bitching.

That feeling when your client connection is more stable than the connection of a fucking game server... Incompetent pieces of shit!!! BEING ABLE TO PUT A COUPLE OF SPRITES DOESN'T MAKE YOU A FUCKING SYSADMIN!!!

Oh and I sent those very incompetent fucks a mail earlier, because my mailers are blocking their servers as per my mailers' security policy. A rant from the old box - their mail servers self-identify a fucking .local!!! Those incompetent shitheads didn't even properly change the values from test into those from prod!! So I sent them an email telling them exactly how they should fix it, as I am running the same MTA on my mailers (Postfix), at some point had to fix my mailers against the exact same issue as well, and clearly noticed in-game that they have deliverability problems (they explicitly mention to unblock their domain). Guess why?! Because their server's shitty configuration triggers fucking security mechanisms that are built against rogue mailers that attempt to spoof themselves as an internal mailer, with that fucking .local! And they STILL DIDN'T CHANGE IT!!!! Your fucking domain has no issues whatsoever, it's your goddamn fucking mail servers that YOU ASOBIMO FUCKERS SHOULD JUST FIX ALREADY!!! MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!

Pm: we want responsive design
Dev: okay, sure, ill make it fit on all screen sizes

Result:

Attend all the meetings, they said. They're super important, they said. You'll get more code done if we hyper-report on progress they said. The bugs are piling up and we need to have even more meetings, they said.

STOP SAYING THINGS AT ME AND LET ME FUCKING CODE YOU INSUFFERABLE CUNTS.

How to make a bomb:

Buy a note 7 [Even your OWN color]
Plug up
Wait
Enjoy

STOP CODING MUTHERFUCKER AND THING YOU DUMB FUCK!!! THIIIINK!!!! IMPROVE!!! LEARN NEW SHIT!!!

STOP CODING TO CODE BETTER!

Interviewer: What was the greatest problem you encountered in life and how did you solve it?

...yeaah, even if I could pick one right now, I probably wouldn't tell you about it 🤔

Don't make rushed decisions

My environment all the time, every day

that feeling when half your day is meetings :/

Dear cursee,

It's Monday. It's already the middle of first month of 2019. There are clients expecting and waiting to see the finished projects. There are tasks with warning and delayed labeled on your boards. You have slept well. Ate well. Drank well. Only remaining thing left is to work and finish your tasks well.

You can do it. And you must.

Cheers,
cursee

Just made the shift to a Linux development environment from a windows one... Gotta say it feels so much better (love Ubuntu's interface)
Miss the use of photoshop though (I Know gimp exists... But photoshop is just so much better)
Any tips for a linux/ubuntu newbie??

@dfox Feature request: Filter to hide rants you already have up- or downvoted.

That moment when you notice that devrant addiction is starting to be a global threat to developers:
Stop devrant immigration
Make code great again
Compile a wall around devrant and let developers write it

Happy 2018 everyone.

May all your dreams, goals, and bugs be great successes this year!!

That sad moment you build PHP from source and start seeing functions and aliases you never knew existed.

On another note, why the fuck do I need to install php from source on a raspberry pie 🤯

Please Google, allow us to disable that retarded Google translate thing you've got going on the play store.

Seriously, 90% of the apps' short description are absolutely unreadable because they insist on translating it to my device's language even if no translating is available.

I know it's probably useful to some people (the ones who don't understand English but somehow understand the human language equivalent of spaghetti-code, which I suspect is not many), but this needs to be disable-able, it makes the experience of discovering apps extremely awkward.

recently people have been worried about what people were going to say I.e "no hate" , don't hold back!

In devrant we only mean light hearted banter if we are pissed we don't want to hurt you we are pissed at a thing and not directly at you. Not that I speak for dfox or trogus but I'm sure that's what they are going for, and it's what ive seen!

We are nice here... This isn't YouTube , it's a credit to devs we are nice people. Hell it isn't stack overflow!

Also I'm brutally honest at times but I love you really.

Italian schools are by far the worst in the world.
I'm in a IT oriented school, where we should learn to code.

We spent the first year writing in Word and "programming" in Excel.

In the second year we started learning Visual Basic, a total waste of time.

In the third year we finally got rid of most of the useless subjects we had and started learning C++.
Sadly we had a teacher who wasn't able to properly speak and teach to students who never really programmed.
We didn't even know what a class was at the end of the year.

In the fourth year, the current one, we didn't have a teacher for the first 3 months.
Now we are learning Java, but just the basics.
Oh, we're also "learning" HTML (not 5) and JavaScript.

Next year, the last one, we will do PHP and SQL.
Maybe also C#, the most pointless programming language in the world.

What a beautiful country.

Friend of mine: so I wonder how do you test your applications in the startup?

Me: testing? *grabs his coffee laughing*

Actually we have a complete build pipeline from commit/pull-request to dev and production environments. No tests. Really. We are in rapid product development / research state.

We change technologies and approaches like our underwear (and yeah, this is frequently). If we settled some day and understood the basic problems of the whole feature palette, we'll talk about tests again.

devRant, what else?

My ideal dev job...working for a charity that creates free tech solutions for primary schools and children to promote safety and learning. One app I have in mind is a resource for victims of bullying, and another is an integrated Virtual Learning Environment that truly provides pupils and teachers with the tools they need and want.

Basically I want to make a positive impact on the lives of children and make that available to everyone, not just the schools who can afford it.

Today is going to be a long ass day :(
best way to start a saturday..

Receiving objects: 13% (866/6600), 740.01 KiB | 5.00 KiB/s

sometimes i think writing something new would be quicker then downloading it.

look you made it all the way to Sweden!

Today I got fired (I work for a outsourcing company and was the client that "fired me") and the reason was that the work load was low.... funny thing is that they contested a new dev for my team and she is staying only because she is in the same office as the main team and I'm on a different office.

How fucked up is this?

An hour before my Mathematical Expression and Reasoning for Computer Science final...

Have reviewed all the material available but past exams are useless because new_prof == new_format.

This is not even a rant, I'm just scared because to get into the major I need an average between this and programming of 82. I fucked up in the second midterm and got a 50/100. Everything was so perfect (at least above 80) and now I need more than 70 in this final. I'm feel I can get more than 70 but I had the same feeling during the midterm I fucked up.

Alright. Two dead Commodores.

Over 15 years before I was born? ✅
No idea how BASIC works? ✅
Internet at the ready? ✅

So far I've checked various chips for visible damage, and nothing except a blown fuse on both machines. Apparently it takes dual 9vAC and single 5vDC. The 9 powers the SID and the video output, the VIC-II heatsink is off, and I've tested the PSU voltages and one of the 9v's is dead. I'll be getting new fuses and a new PSU soon. Any recommendations on other things to check or things to do when they're done? Pic included because why not.

I remember a few months ago at my school we all had taken the Chromebooks (our county's OS of choice) out and put them on our desks. We were in science, and we needed to take screenshots of websites for some reason. "Everyone go to the chrome store," our teacher said, with a look-how-smart-i-am kind of look on her face, "search for the 'Awesome Screenshot Extension.'" Ugh. This was dumb. I reluctantly searched it up and upon bringing up the description and about to press the "Add to Chrome" button, when I stopped, and made a decision I would later regret. Now, I don't really like this teacher, and she thought she was so fucking smart for finding this shit extension. I raised my hand, and she walked over. "Uhh… I'm pretty sure you can just do Ctrl + shift + []|| to take a screenshot" I said. She was fucking dumbfounded. She yelled out "Class, listen up! [Let's call me 'Ben' for this story] Ben just found an alternative [she was trying to make her extension not seem entirely useless, even though she knew it was] way to take a screenshot. Just press Ctrl + shift plus that box with the two lines next to it. You can use my extension or the one Ben found. Whichever is easier [she damn well knew which was easier]." Three times in the span of the next five minutes she said "just a reminder… you can use Ben's way if you want" to the whole class. Everyone kept looking at me. A few minutes later, she called me up to the computer which was being displayed on the big screen in front of class. She said some people were having trouble, so then pulled all the attention on me to come up to the front of class and demonstrate a goddamn keyboard shortcut. She was running windows 8, and I knew it wouldn't work on her computer. I pressed a few random keys on the keyboard and said "uhh, I think it only works on their computers" she let me sit back down. She couldn't handle the concept that different computers run different operating systems. I sat down and the guy sitting next to me raised his hand. He said "you could use the 'snippet tool'" Yes. Some people can. But she can't. I stopped him from doing anymore damage on their small brains by saying "uhh, it won't work on the Chromebooks, so that won't help." I hate that teacher. At lunch my friend came over to me. He has the same science teacher as me. "You know what she's been saying all day?" I was confused. "What?" I said. He almost started to laugh. "All day she's [the teacher] has been telling everyone that you found this amazing new technology in the Chromebooks. [Most of the students were smart enough to know that I didnt] she was like 'Ben, from my 2nd period found this amazing thing'" End of story. And guess what? I still hate her.

Make everything OK ..please.

When you post a "!rant", you should choose a different rant type than "rant"... just saying.

It doesn't seem too complicated to me...

My Task: Create a new application in a custom C#-Framework, to replace screens from the old application.
Me:Fine.
The old application has a Java Frontend.
Me:Fine.
The old application has an Oracle-DB.
Me:Fine.
The old application has its logic fully on the DB.
Me:What ??
You cannot connect to the DB via ODBC.
Me:But why ???
You cannot use external libraries, just our framework.
Me: For what are you thinking i can use to call the functions on the DB
You have to use a custom connection-bus which uses JDBC
Me:Fine.
This connection-bus cannot call SQL Statements and return the result.
Me:WTF, how should i get the data out of the Database ?
We don't know find a way.
Me:Ahh fuck off.

make, because you know, it makes sense :P

i found this today, during ssl install. it's really funny.

Fuck man. I keep forgetting to comment my code for the sake of my future self.

Plus 247 errors and dependencies.

How to make a movie hacking scene:
Pretend like your typing while running a Linux make build from source

Why is there no more devrant shorts on youtube I enjoyed them!

The real heroes of our time are devs who include an uninstall target in their makefile

Anybody rlse here makes paperclips?

Seriously, this game is making me unproductive D:

That great feeling when you get two annoying stackoverflow people arguing in the comments about your question

Should I purchase all of the devDucks?

I never ever give out my cell # to ppl at work. If they need to speak with me, I provide them my work # only.

Two weeks ago, went to a customer site. For ONE minute, I had an email on the screen that had my personal cell #.

Last Tuesday - out walking dog: call from customer to personal cell.

Last Thursday - getting ready for work, brushing teeth: call from customer to personal cell.

Last Friday - grabbing lunch: call from customer to personal cell.

Yesterday - in a meeting: call from customer to personal cell.

I'm gonna cry 😢

My coworker literally thinks that handheld barcode scanners scan the barcodes like a photo scanner and uploads them to a server to compare the image with an existing one in the database.

Back then when I was working on a website logic, I didn't want to comment my code. Despite that, I wrote some things which were obvious and I thought it would be funny to explain obvious things in code. I made a joke out of commenting.
Recently I needed to use a part of the code for a different project and the comments were exceptionally helpful and I would be lost without it.

So, kids, comment your code!

$make -j12
Ok see you tomorrow.😴

Girlfriend wants to start a fight almost ending the relationship while I have to finish an app in 2 days and the Volley library is starting to get too complicated (should've learned Retrofit instead).

I'm doing the project alone because half of my group literally quit the course to study Advertising and Marketing in the middle of the project.

This is going to be one of those weeks...

I’ll quit swearing when you stop moving user-stories in and out of the sprint DURING THE FUCKING SPRINT.

Have you ever reach a point where you lost any desire or mood to do anything? Like when you don't even want to rant about the fuckedupshit you are in.

Opening up the docs, a book or a bunch of random pages online.

build something stupidly horrible to familiarise myself with different aspects and rinse and repeat until it’s something I think is worthy of being released into the wild.

Yet another bullshit app to cure your problems that have taken place by not talking to people. No app can give you the comfort equal to talking to a person that cares about you can give. Go talk to some real people ffs.

Got a new task today.
I don't really know what to do with it.
My boss just came to me.
Boss: You know that part of our app?
Me: Yeah but never used it and someone else wrote it
B: Yeah I know. You have to make it better.
M: How?
B: Just make it better. Think about it.
M: ...

So now I'm sitting here looking at that feature (which works perfectly for everyone using it) and have absolutely no idea what to improve with it

Life as a developer:
1. install cool new lib
2. getting an error
3. google for solutions
4. try one solution => step 2
+ repeat recursively

I am buying a mouse, monitor and a.... sandwich maker? 😂😂😂😂

I just started commenting my code. I know, its horrible i havent done this earlier..
I actually enjoy it now, i can express rage, write small jokes for myself to read next time i gotta edit the code, or just remind myself how fucking stupid i used to be

Starting my first business in my life at 19. I'm so excited, but also so afraid right now. So many thoughts in my head.

I'm 14593455 in decimal.

make let not var

Other devranters:
LOL
MOAR
OHAHAHAHAH
OMG SO FUNNY

me:
make: *** No rule to make target `let'. Stop.

I played a terrible game tonight... I'm secondary on call when we've been getting 2+ calls regularly. I went out with friends and just hoped I didn't get a call.

Watched a whole movie and my code is still compiling xD

!rant

The more I work with backend and SysAdmin technologies, the more I love them!

I'm losing the desire to ever do frontend work again. SysAdmin in particular seems like a good fit for me and I'm not sure why.

Anybody else experience this sort of shift and how did it end?

Commented code be like..

Android, please fuck off. I cant install/update apps because i don't have enough space. So 1gb of free memory is not enough for a 10mb app?

This is my 3rd android phone, and I've had the same issues on all of them.

Probably getting a iPhone 7. Sad, i know :(

Go fuck yourself make.

Don't tell me you haven't got a build rule for a .hex file because I'm fucking looking at it. I added a single file name to a variable and now magically you can't find any of my fucking build rules.

NOT FUCKING HELPFUL MAKE.

Compiling a Linux zImage... pray for me, guys!

My friend asked me today "So why can't MySQL connect to client side JavaScript?"

I just wrote my first makefile.

I'm a newbie and I'm still learning, so I was doing all the compiling in the command line. I have never written make files before so making it work made feel happy a lot.

like I just write `make` and boom it's compiled.

It's not much at all, in fact that was nothing, but it still made me feel like I'm getting better.

make clean

I don't know if this is a problem only in Belgium or also in other countries but while I love Bluetooth for audio playback (headsets, speakers and everything) despite being extremely convoluted as a protocol.. FUCK Bluetooth keyboards.

Several of them I've tried. Several of them, from various brands. Pairing, setting the Belgian keyboard layout (which on that shitty Android 7.0 tablet that I want to use the fucking things with apparently has to be done *every fucking time you connect*, because reasons) all well. Except half the keys don't fucking map properly. A keymap, it doesn't get easier than that! How hard is it to make buttons map to the right keys!? They're literally fucking push buttons on a matrix! Seeing which points in the circuit make contact and sending that off to wherever it needs to go!

And to put the icing on the cake? USB keyboards with the same fucking layout settings work without any problems. So it's extremely likely that it's something in those shitty keyboards' controllers or Bluetooth going full rart on all of them.

Of course, Bluetooth being as convoluted as it is, manufacturers just copy each others' implementations of it if they can.. so there's that.

Can really nobody make a product halfway decent anymore before putting it on the market!?

Another one bites the dust.. JUNK!!! Every single goddamn one of them!

Makefiles are weird af dude.

Fuck this, gonna make a bash script.:p

STOP FORCING ME TO REIR ART YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
I've officially decided to make the change to linux. Can anyone recommend me a good distribution? Is there anything like homestead with all necessary tools already installed? Any help to get me started on using Linux as a daily driver is welcome, thanks 👌

To all people who hardcoded stuff like tables in HTML and even rant about how much work this was or how many lines of code they wrote, please stop the madness, please don't talk until you get the basics of programming and why computers are quite handy to handle repetitive tasks.

Life is a recursive algorithm with multiple inheritance.

Me: I hate Windows/PHP/Gradle builds/etc

Other devRanters: Did we just became friends?

Me: friends is undefined. Please go to StackOverflow for undefined error.

*I'm still socially awkward*

while(cup.hasCoffee()) {
doWork();
}

I can't tell you how many hours have been lost because I have accidently clicked and dragged a file in to some random spot in the solution explorer!

Then my browser crashed.

after 21 years today was the day i let go of my personal homepage.

still don't know whether this is just a depressive short circuit action or at least reducing channels of unfulfilled socialisation.

That's it, I'm done. I'm SO. FUCKING. DONE. Whoever created such a badly monkey ass coded shit and named it "Drupal" should have been aborted with a fucking hanger.

No one was here today because they were all at a Drupal Con that I never heard of. Glad I didn't. So they told me "yeah there are one year bug to fix, if you could do them all in a one work day that'd be greaaaaat". FUCK. YOU.

This shit is slowly sucking my passion away, and while I could spend 15 hours to code per day a few months ago, now I'm stuck to debugging shit that should have work without a Drupal environment. Tomorrow I'm going to see my manager and tell him to get me the fuck out of this and make me do something that would make me enjoy living again. I can't believe I'm getting trouble for this kind of low shit stuff, really.

And it started to rain. Fuck.

The Windows update task scheduler: "I'll make 19 very very important, 20 very important, 12 important, 0 really important and 400 optional updates. And when you are currently at a meeting in the next room, I'll gonna restart in 15 minutes and make 451 updates, when you want to show the demo. "

#define TRUE FALSE
//Happy debugging suckers

Need to implement something huge on a app that I'm working on.
The design team is not from my company.

All the design that I have is in a PDF that I can't extract the images and they are low res.

How the actual fuck do they expect me to do a good job if I don't even have the design and assets to work with

Performance test: Chrome.

I really think it's like to make passwords a thing of the past!

My two favourite words in *nix:

sudo bash

Convo with me an my friend today (i purposefully left out my opinions and reactions):

Friend: i want to learn c#

Me: sounds good, but I'd go java if i were you

F: yeah but i want to do unity

M: sounds good, but I'd go with unreal engine if I were you

F: what language is unreal engine?

M: C++, but if you want to make apps, go with unity

F: yeah I want to make an android app

M: sounds good, but I'd try out renderscript if I were you

F: yeah I've used that before

M: oh really? What does it do?

F: I don't know

M: its for gpgpu because android game devs needed better performance

F: yeah I've used that

M: what does gpgpu stand for?

F: umm… i know what gpu stands for

M: okay dude, you didn't use it

F: yes I did, I made a cypher

M: dude, you didn't use it

F: yes I did!

M: what does gpgpu stand for?

F: *left*

*five minutes later*

M: *checks phone*

M: *sees text from friend*

Text from friend: dude it was general purpose gpu

Why do people put so much rbg in to their computers, rather than going for a more solid monochrome look or something?

RGB looks fucking bad, fight me

Trying to get gcc and make onto a 3DS is nigh impossible as my x64 PC won't let me cross-compile and the only ARM device I have is a Pi Zero, but it runs out of memory mid-compile... fml.

How to make own img tag in html:
(This wasn't me)

make love not hate

make: *** No rule to make target `love'. Stop.

It seems like our classroom's computer has been shot multiple times...

Sorry for the image quality.

I've learned GNU Make
I've also wasted several days writing a makefile for a project consisting of multiple assemblies each being one of a few types. (Shared object, executable, assetlib, beverage)

So I am back home for a week without my laptop and my phone was low on power so I finally give up and decide to use a old PC we had.

I was gonna download some anime which I did but as I was waiting I started just looking around...

1. The drives are huge, 3 HDs with 400GB each.... vs my current 128 GB SSD

2. I found an old stash of anime (2013-4), several series... that I had actually not watched

3. The machine is known to be slow but after using it for awhile to install VLC and JDowloader... It's actually OK...

4. Video can playback at 3x speed... No lag... Apparently I forgot the onboard GPU failed and my dad replaced it with a cheap (I think) GFX card that has like 1GB RAM/processing power...

You know what bugs me the most? When people make their code fast and efficient, but not updatable. Like if I want to add something for my program to look for I'd rather just put another item in an array than modify/add 30 lines. Jesus Christ people.

WordPress themes are not improving as technology. They are not dev friendly ;(

Part 2... I just bought Amazon Prime (with the free shipping)... spent all night watching a movie and then adding Recommendations too my Watchlist.

I think I added at least 10 movies and 30+ seasons...

Productivity --

Expenses/Purchases++

Make it a trend!
My setup at work!

Sysadmin's nemesis: a DBA. Especially an oracle DBA. There's no other kind of tech worker I've seen who's more opposed to best practices.

How about for devs?

Yeah so I quickly hacked stuff together. Why make it beautiful before I know whether it will actually do? Hack now, refactor later!

Yeah and then that moment in refactoring where main() gets under 700 lines and I don't know whether what I'm feeling is joy or despair. Gaaaahhhh!

At least I have also written automatic tests so that I can see when something breaks.

i wish there was an app to measure celllphone reception, which displays the signal strength via Augmentented Reality. With green yellow and red, just like it does with a thermal camera. So that you can find the best cellphone reception spot in your flat.

Make. That's one hell of a tool.

Make. Set it up once and it does what it's supposed to. Repeatable.

Although I'm a vim user, I think make would be harder to replace for me than my editor.

I appreciate people making tutorials to help people learn, but please, please, please, choose a different topic than creating a task list next time.

Life goals:
1. Port Linux to Brainfuck.
2. Make a some how object oriented Brainfuck fork.
3. Make IDE for #2, with completely random auto completion.

C# is the worst programming language in the history of humanity.

Discuss.

I love mathematics so I love programming.😃

Life is to short to deal with not refactored code...

make -j20 - that's quick!

Throwback to the time our music teacher put 'youtube miles davis' inside the youtube search bar

Soooo
I'm a fresh out-of-college CS grad (in his early twenties) working at a small scale startup and the people in my Engineering team are at least 10 years elder to me. (this is my first job out of school -- ignoring the internships and such)
I have a tough time making friends with them and an even tougher time making conversation which I think is hurting my communication skills in a harmful way.
Don't get me wrong.. because they are so highly experienced engineers, I get to learn a lot more a lot faster and I love that part but I just feel like I don't laugh or talk enough at my office (otherwise, people have to tell me to shut up).
I mean when everyone is not plugged in with headphones and cranking the keyboards, they talk about their wives, kids, and stuff that I have no relation to. Like I know a lot about childbirth and car seats but except being shocked etc., I often don't have much to add to the conversation.
Also, on top of this, after looking at the sorry condition of people throughout my undergrad and my internships, I had decided to not get into the habit of drinking coffee. So, when they go on coffee breaks etc. they don't ask me if I want to come along and the times that I kind of forced myself to come along turned out to be kind of awkward and not something I'd wanna experience again.
What do you recommend? Understand that I absolutely love my job and I love learning so much around such intelligent people but I don't have fun at work. Is this Dev life or am I missing something?
Do you have any recommendations or similar stories of how you overcame this problem?

Yes after months of writing this .NET core 3.1 API, I am still going back and rewriting the Auth flow.

I talk to a lifelong .Net Guru yesterday to get advise about JWT flow with .NET. His take in summary:

"Oh haha yeah all of these settings you kinda just copy over an forget about them over time. They change drastically between every version anyways. 2.0s approach is so different than 3.0-3.1s. "

We then proceed to spend hours trying to copy other peoples solutions and satisfy the type requirements for different services.

Guys look im trying really really hard to get into .NET. Harder then i should try. I come from .Node & php where you import a JWT library, you get the creds, check em and call on function to issue an Bearer token. You write a 5 line middleware function for getting teh claim and fetching the user into global scope and done.

This has been an ongoing nightmare and im about sick of it. I dont need a framework with an over-opinionated, ever changing way of handling auth.

OTHER FRAMEWORKS ARE SCAFFOLDING THIS SHIT FOR US ALREADY!!! ITS THE POINT OF A FRAMEWORK!! TO NOT HAVE TO REINVENT THE WHEEL!!

.NET needs to get its shit together. Most everything else about the framework is proving to be pretty rad though. Im about to get into SignalR though and im sure ill find equal frustration there.

Found this, shared it here, tagged it correctly 👍

See, it is possible

OMFG... im in an AP computer science class and we are starting our first big project (this is a java class) and my teacher put us in a group of 3 and we had to figure out a project to do for the next 3 months. So like the teenagers they are they want to make a game... IN JAVA. like wtf java is not made for games. but since im only 1/3 of the group i have to go with the majority. So now I have to figure out how to do graphics in java. I am thinking of using LWJGL for 2d graphics. If anyone knows any other libraries for 2d graphics please let me know. (i don't want to use swing)

Here's one for all hackintoshes! 🍺

What exactly makes you a Full Stack Developer nowadays? It's one of the big buzz words employers seem to use

!rant
I just learnt that HTML + CSS3 with user interaction is Turing-complete. How cool is that shit!?
The possibilities are endless. Server-side HTML/CSS. Skynet in HTML/CSS. An OS in HTML/CSS.

!rant
Back to my old true self ~ ^^
(except now I have a yellow background, what looks like some sort of beverage, and a slightly darker skin because the Sun is a deadly lazer).

(I changed my avatar hours ago, already, but I couldn't rant about it then because of the 2h cooldown, so yeeeaah)

And my holiday turned out to be design-me-a-logo-day.

Spaces are better than tabs? Yeah, tell that to Makefile.

Shouldn't JSON have comments too?

Angular 2 😡

It's only August but I already know what I'll be thankful for come Thanksgiving:
1. Our next president.
2. Integration tests.

ArgumentError (wrong number of arguments (given 0, expected 1)):

ArgumentError (wrong number of arguments (given 1, expected 0)):

Rails, I love you, but sometimes you should simply go fuck yourself.

i wish i could favorite my own rants

I wanna make something but I lack the will power... Aka lazy.

As some of you might know I am currently working in a QA Team.
One of my "colleagues" asked me to help him with the automation of a simple page.
The tool we are using could not determine if a checkbox on a mask was checked or not so he decided to open a BUG!
This is not a bug the page is working fine (the checkmark is visible and the server handles the data correctly)!!
When I asked him why he opened the bug he said "Because I want the developer to make that easier for me!!!"

WTF This is your job! JUST GET IT FUCKING DONE!

I work my ass of to close the gap between testers and developers...

BUT IF I SEE THINGS LIKE THAT I UNDERSTAND EVERY DEV WHO WANTS TO PUNCH HIM INTO HIS FACE!