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Search - "social distancing"
Watching the Dutch government trying to get through the public procurement process for a "corona app" is equal parts hilarious and terrifying.
7 large IT firms screaming that they're going to make the perfect app.
Presentations with happy guitar strumming advertisement videos about how everyone will feel healthy, picnicking on green sunny meadows with laughing families, if only their app is installed on every citizen's phone.
Luckily, also plenty of security and privacy experts completely body-bagging these firms.
"It will connect people to fight this disease together" -- "BUT HOW" -- "The magic of Bluetooth. And maybe... machine learning. Oh! And blockchain!" -- "BUT HOW" -- "Shut up give us money, we promise, our app is going to cure the planet"
You got salesmen, promising their app will be ready in 2 weeks, although they can't even show any screenshots yet.
You got politicians mispronouncing technical terminology, trying hard to look as informed as possible.
You got TV presenters polling population support for "The App" by interviewing the most digitally oblivious people.
One of the app development firms (using some blockchain-based crap) promised transparency about their source code for auditing.... so they committed their source, including a backup file from one of their other apps, containing 200 emails/passwords to Github.
It's kind of entertaining... in the same way as a surgery documentary about the removal of glass shards from a sexually adventurous guy's butthole.
Imma keep watching out of morbid fascination.... from a very safe distance, far away from the blood and shit that's splattering against the walls.
And my phone -- keep your filthy infected bytes away from my sweet baby.
I'll stick with social distancing, regular hand washing, working from home and limited supermarket trips, thank you very much.26
Many times I struggled to find the right words to ask people to fuck off. Now I remind them of social distancing.4
The state of the web in 2020:
discussion sites as a medium are dying. chalk that up to censorship.
reddit is an echochamber. twitter is mostly a marketing platform disguised as (anti)social media. instagram is a self promotion/wannabe eceleb site, and youtube is the new hollywood..quickly becoming irrelevant.
facebook is where I (dont) go to (totally not) ignore all the people important to me.
and email is where I go to send letters bordering on hatespeech to my various local and federal "representatives", in between borderline cyberbullying people stupid enough not to automate their spam marketing in 2020. or talking to left/right self-help grifters about the state of society.
in the grim dark future of 2020, the last bastion of intelligent conversation, free speech, and civility, the one shining icon of hope in a dark world..
is the comment section of pornhub videos where a women got stuck under a bed for the 50,000th time. And all I can think is "wow I never knew how easy it was to get trapped under a bed. They should look into fixing this safety hazard."
newsmedia has jumped so many sharks, the fonz now spins in his grave so fast we could hook him up to a generator. meanwhile people hide in their homes for a disease so deadly you have to be tested to know if you even have it.
while ever more car commercials
are released, set to somber but hopeful piano music to the tune of "in this time of social distancing its important to stay close even when we're apart."
Im beginning to think media has become a poison on society, both television and the internet, and like an ersatz cargo cultist worshipping the great-charles- manson-in-the-sky we should all take a page from the unabomber and smash our televisions with hammers before going outside and sawing down the telephone polls.
I jest of course. But there is no denying the inherent appeal of moving from the unsettling uncertainty of complex societies, driven by expertly manipulated fear cycles, to the beatitude-esque simplicty of pastoral protestant style living, sans witch burning and shoe buckles.
And against the reckoning of utopians who are still fresh from the womb as it were, wet behind the ears and smelling of their mother's pussy, I reject the notion that "up" is a synonym for "forward."
Were it the case, every drinking binge, followed by throwing up, would bring us, with each vomitting, one step closer to heaven. Rather the state of affairs is what it is, and what it is, like most of nature, is a cruel master and a harsh teacher. And while we may binge on digital delusions of grandeur and a greater society, rest easy in the nihilistic and sobering thought that we are little more than 200,000 year old cave men wielding magic bricks, and atomic bombs.
..where water flows more readily from metal tubes in our houses than it does from the nile. where food comes to our door at little more than our beck and call.
where we may bath, and sleep, and *shit*, cleanly, comfortably, and safely, wrapped in the (failing) bubble of delusion we all tenaciously grasp collectively, the thing we call "civilization".
an empire of needful things, wanton and fragile.
if we have not gone mad from boredom, I have no doubt we one day will.
it becomes more and more obvious to me every day, had war never existed, it would have been necessary for man to invent it just to have something to do, that didnt include farming, fucking, or building.
And so enters "political idealogy."
How would we ever have enemies if we were allowed to speak our piece instead of being given the means (and reflex dogwhistle training) to silence and destroy one another?
give a man a gun, he'll rob a bank. give a man a bank, he'll rob the world.
give him a media empire or a tech platform, and he'll lie about the theft and convince one half of millions of lemmings to hate all the other lemmings.11
Your daddy Johnny is pissed off again.
My therapist advised me to do some things for myself after I told her that I'm finding the simplest tasks overwhelming again. This is after a month of studying, coding, and working on some personal projects on my free time. I thought "Fine, I'll buy new clothes since I have very few of them and also get a massage."
But guess what these activities involved? People. I went to the mall and some attention-seekers yell at a high-pitched tone when their dumbass friend taps them on the shoulder. Then goes the screaming match "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH" because they saw their friends. OMG. FRIENDSHIP! So exciting! Let's scream in public for absolutely no fucking reason because it feels so damn good when everyone turns around to look at our ugly asses.
I went to a shop and two women are talking in the most annoying fucking made-up accent I've ever heard. If you want to know, social distancing is no more than a suggestion at this point. I go to the fitting room and same women are talking loudly in that curly, rich-wannabe, bitch accent. "Emergeeeeeeerd, you lost so much weiiiight!" Then another ugly fuck man joins them and they start screaming flirtatiously, "Emergeeeeeeeerd, why are you heyyre?! Geit outttttuh! Ugh." In my head, "My pussesyyyy is so wet rightt now and my labia flaps are as green as my haeeirrrr!"
I tried to finish the day off by having some tiramisu pancake in this Japanese shop, to make up with the stress of having to co-exist with these people. Two girls sat at the table near me and started talking loudly again but some dumbass gossip. There is no way not to hear the shit they're talking about. I thought about wearing a headset but then I'd hear myself chew. Classic gossip about some other girl they know being a slut and some guy they know who is cheating on his girlfriend plus the casual sexism, "He doesn't know 'cause he's a guy." Non-stop "he's just a guy" bullshit.
I didn't finish my meal, went home, and decided that I should stick to online shopping and food deliveries. I know it's considered healthier to get out every now and then but not in this fucking country. Then I went to go get that massage in my favorite massage place. Guess fucking what? Two couples went in and started chatting and laughing loudly. Keep in mind, there are signs everywhere "Please observe silence" and it's a fucking massage place where people go to relax in peace with just the relaxing music.
Again, another set of stupid goddam gossip that just can't wait for a fucking hour. Even my therapist got pissed up and started shushing them. She did that three times and they started whispering but you can still hear it. Fucking hell, you bitches can't keep your mouth shut for a fucking minute. You have nothing of importance to say and you just ruin everyone's day. You are inconsiderate and you're all a bunch of uncivilized fuckwits.
How fucking ironic that these activities that are supposed to relax me just reminded me of the reason I was burning myself out in the first place and why I hate, hate, absolutely hate going out or doing anything that involves people.
Fuck you all. I'll get a massage at home. I'll fucking do everything at home. I can't stand you annoying fucks.24
"During this crisis, we all need to stand together. We're contributing by providing 50% off domain registrations"
"Important COVID-19 update: Social distancing is a must. Free shipping on all dildos and vibrators"
Pandemic-themed marketing emails... 😩5
This is an old friend of mine, who recently joined the company I work with, 6 months back. And this is what he pinged me with yesterday.
This should be considered harassment at workplace, and trigger social, psychological, emotional, physical and all other sort of distancing.8
Non-dev *random* annoyance:
Today in leave me the fuck alone, establishments have opened but social distancing still applies so don't go around approaching me while I mind my own damn business waiting for a car.
I rarely go out unless I have to pick-up food or buy groceries but there is this place I visit once every few months. I don't loiter in the streets, at the mall, or anywhere. I get out of the apartment, go straight to a specific place, do whatever I went there for (store - buy groceries, salon - get a haircut, etc.) and then go home. In short, I limit my time outside even before this whole pandemic so people don't get a chance to talk to me about shit I don't care about.
I thought it was perfect. I've been to this place a couple of times now but this time, it was different. The car pulls over in front of the salon. I get out and was walking straight towards the door when this random guy in front of the hotel nearby starts talking to me "Hey, where are you going?" Confused, I pointed out to the door in front of me then went in. After an hour, I got out, booked a car, and waited for it to arrive. Same guy approaches me and starts up the shittiest excuse of a small talk.
Guy: "Did you go there?" (points at the salon)
Guy: "Did you get a <insert random service that my brain filtered out 'cause I don't care>?"
Me: (no answer but internally, "I got a happy ending and had my balls trimmed, what do you want?")
Guy: "What are you doing here?"
Me: (polite but cold, signalling that there's nothing to talk about) "I'm waiting for a car."
Guy: "What address did you put for this place?" *moves closer and starts looking at my phone screen*
Me: "This building. It's fine. I've been here a couple of times." *walks a couple of feet away*
Guy: "Oh no, you should put this blah blah street instead because that one is on the other side."
The fuck do you mean, man? You saw my fucking pin, it's right there and like I said, I've been here before.
Me: "No, no, it's arriving." *starts ignoring every other attempt he makes to start a conversation*
Guy: *starts mumbling about how I put in the wrong street*
Car arrives, I ignore the guy and walk straight to it.
Guy: "Oh, that's you." *mumbling other shit like we're good friends parting ways*
I know some of you will say that maybe he's just trying to help and I'm being a cunt. First of all, I already told him that I've been to this place several times and I know where I'm going. Second, an old lady got out of a car at the time I said I didn't need help but I didn't see him talk to that woman once or try to help her.
You can say that maybe he's lonely and in desperate need for a conversation. I don't care. It's not my responsibility to talk to random people just because they feel lonely especially when they're hassling me and not following the social distancing rule at all.
You can go ahead and preach that I should be kind but I think I've been kind enough not to lash out and stay polite with this guy even when he was already being rude asking questions that are none of his business. I'm just so stressed out and annoyed that people in general seem to never leave me in peace. It doesn't matter if I go out or not, be on social media or not, nothing works. I just hate people in times like this and wish most of them would turn into cats.10
I don't know why but I really like that small businesses are popping up during this time. People are finding ways to survive and make a living while social distancing. It's like living in a tiny village where each neighbor sells their own stuff - homemade, not mass produced by giant establishments. I don't hate the latter, it's just interesting. It's as if a coin has been tossed and the power has been turned just like that. Maybe I just really enjoy the chaos.
Each neighbor has something unique to offer and not every one of them finished a degree in business or have a giant capital on hand, most of them our small families who lost their jobs during the pandemic and is now utilizing technology to put food on the table.
The resilience, man, it's fucking sexy. My ass hole is puckering wet right now. I want these small businesses inside my chocolate factory.2
Senior management just had a covid opening up party, streamed it on YouTube in the middle of the office with not a single person wearing a mask or social distancing. Encouraging employees to come back to working in the offices.
I AM FUCKING DONE. IM DONE.
It hasn't been a week since one of our employees died and these were the same people who emailed the team asking to donate towards the bereaved family.
This isn't even a rant. It baffles me that narcissistic bullshit like this is legal. How can anyone be that fucking stupid? Just how. Explain this shit to me. Because these aren't total assholes. They're generally nice people outside of work. Why is it that anything touched by corporate greed gets corrupted to the point of inhumanity.
Out of shower, I sit on bed staring at my phone cuz I don't know who to talk to. This is the shittiest stage of the lockdown. When you've bore your close friends, exhausted your "I'm gonna find new friends online" options, and now you're -I am- circling back to remind yourself of all the people who put you aside. Just making yourself sadder remembering how each one of them shared a lot of their life and feelings with you and then how easily they went like "Nope. Don't want to deal with you". Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that's everyone. Every friendship has a proper "distance" but I just don't know why some people are like asteroids. Or rather, their interests are. They come quick and crash your mental barriers and tell you everything there is to know about them but then something shinier catches their attention or they realize they actually won't be able to have you -me- as a sidepiece and then they just... Fuck off.
And I don't know, maybe they think I'll remember them as the one that got away, but sadly, they just become "another one" in a list that I can't remember past the last 5-6 of.
Anyways, I miss the days when I could sit next to a friend, or hug a friend, or just looking into someone's eyes from less than safe distant and seeing how the details of their face change as they speak, and how their emotions flow.
I'm tired of all the zoom and vc and...
I'm just tired. 😢9
I get why my prick friend wanted me to get this app - shit's lit my brothers.
Half mad because of this social-distancing shite, especially when I do go out and get to see Apocolypse Survival Barbie stacking her cart with enough bread and frozen products to feed a legion.5
So my boss asked me why I came into the office when it was said IF POSSIBLE, work from home. And i told him 'I am practicing social distancing from my wife.' XD2
WFH!! // worst
I've been social distancing myself from everyone, I don't even know how to properly function amongst people anymore o.O
I have a meeting at the office today, I'm so anxious as if I'm applying for a job there..in a field I've never worked on..flying there with a choper for the first time, me flying it of course.. naked & already on fire o.O Oh & I'm also wearing sweatpants as nothing else fits anymore..yaaaay.... Can't wait.. :/4
I've been working on the ecommerce website from hell for over a year now. I should have heard the alarm bells when the studio who were running the project took a month to pay my deposit but still expected me to start working, but I explained that I wouldn't start without some form of security and they were cool with it, so I carried on.
It started off as a simple build with simple products, no product variations etc and a few links on the designs which appeared to lead to external links, and checkout and cart pages were nowhere to be seen. It wasn't a big money job so I just build them in as plain and straightforward as I could, in line with how the rest of the site looked. They then changed their mind about how they wanted these to look, and added loads of functionality to the site throughout the build, so by the end of the line, the scope of work had completely changed. I also had loads of disagreements in terms of design and useability, as their designs straight-up weren't going to function otherwise, plus every round of changes meant that I had to prolong the job further and fit it around work for other clients.
Fastforward a few more months and I get sent a really angry email with some of the client's complaints, including one that raised an issue with the user journey, and the finger of blame was pointed at me. The user journey had been a part of the designs from the start, and this was never raised as an issue for A WHOLE YEAR. They then said that it had to go live on Monday (three days after they sent email with these huge new structural changes). I told them I could no longer work on the project but was happy to waive the rest of my fee (3/4 of the total fee, when I had essentially completed the site, minus 2 minor bugs), so they could find another developer in the limited time they had. At first they refused to hire another developer, claiming that it would be too expensive, which made no sense, as for a few minor fixes and out of scope additions he could get paid a wage that would have otherwise paid for the majority of the work I had done on the site. I stood my ground and finally they found someone, so I sent over all of the files and database to their new developer and asked him to give me a heads up when I could remove the staging site from my server. The next day, I received an email from the studio asking me to fix some bugs the developer was requesting I fix so he could carry on with the site. They were basically asking me to work more, for free, to enable him to walk off with the majority of the money and do less work. They also forwarded a suuuuuper shitty, condescending email from him, listing all the things he thought was wrong with the site (he even listed 'no favicon' although they'd never supplied a graphic for this). He also wrote a paragraph at the bottom EXPLAINING MY JOB TO ME and telling me:
Not sure if I'm being oversensitive here but it felt so patronising, and i couldn't even go for an angry walk to get it out my system because of social distancing lol.
Let a girl quarantine in peace!!!!!!2
Finished the social distancing simulation thingy, i left out some factors but the exponential growth is very visible.
Practice social distancing to minimize the spread of CoronaVirus.
In this view, the Python logo should be updated temporarily.2
„Keep 2m distance“...
Funny.. as if I would get that close to other humans..
Jokes aside, I feel uncomfortable if I’m less than 1.5m to another person and I avoid touching at all cost by nature.. Except for family but they are not in my country anyway. I think I’ll be fine..
Been moved out of the main office to a larger room for social distancing. Other staff also working from here. Seems convenient to them to have on-tap IT support. Driving me fucking crazy. I wonder if I can justify working from our server room to get some peace...4
Just saying, being in quarantine means that you are isolated because you might be sick, and to see if you develop symptoms. Self isolation and social distancing is not being in quarantine.3
Just started a simulation of the effects of social distancing, havent done behaviour modelin in a looong time so my skills are pretty rusty. Other than that im mostly drawing, i cant just code all day if i dont want to burn out.
Everyone: Keep people safe and work from home!
My power company: We were going to turn off your power for maintenance but now we won't to help people work from home.
Also my power company today : Hope you didn't need your power to work from home. Good luck with that.
I always hated handshakes, being an in crowed and public places where a lot of people wandering around so no problem for people like me but i see people are idiots.
BTW i am staying home today. I called in sick (I am not sick actually, just taking care of myself)
Shaking hands, kissing, working together and private offices staying open.
and some company owners including mine are like :2
I figured out a workaround the coronavirus shit and to protect myself in public.
Instead of wearing medical masks (like all the sheep out there), I am gonna be wearing a gangsta-style bandanna.
It covers face and mouth. BUT most importantly it will scare people away and no one would get close so i will be practicing social distancing everywhere I go using nothing but the power of fear and stereotypes.7