Me: why are we paying for OCR when the API offers both json and pdf format for the data?
Manager: because we need to have the data in a PDF format for reporting to this 3rd party
Me: sure, but can we not just request both json and PDF from the vendor (it’s the same data). send the json for the automated workflow (save time, money and get better accuracy) and send the PDF to the 3rd party?
Manager: we made a commercial decision to use PDF, so we will use PDF as the format.
Me: but ...

During the meting DevOps were discussing some problem, suddenly a PM spoke up "I am browsing SO right now and someone already had time problem before and it was answered. I don't know what XYZ is but why you didn't google the problem at first place."
A long moment of silence.
You can't help us with random SO post...

Client: I need this very complex feature

Dev : Ok, give me approx 2 weeks, this is new to me, have to do r&d.

Client: I can't give you 2 weeks, you have 2 days.

Dev: Somehow manages to complete in 2 days.

After few weeks.

Client's representative : What's the progress on the new features?

Dev: You haven't mentioned any new features yet.

Client's representative: I don't care, it's been weeks now, here are more complex features, I need them tomorrow.

😕

A recipe for COMPLETELY hacking me off - ask for help, pretend my advice is bollocks, then rephrase it as your own and follow it up with a smart arse comment.

"Almond, could you lend me a hand with this regex? I'm trying to match this particular group, but only if it doesn't have 'foo' after it."

"Sure, take a look at negative lookaheads - that sounds like it's exactly what you need"

"Nah that won't work for me, because I need to check for more than one character after it, I need to check for 'foo'"

"What? That doesn't make sense, you can..."

"Ah don't worry, I've found the answer by myself now, I can actually just add '?!' before the text I don't want to match and it'll do it - I'm fast becoming a regex expert here! Let me know if you want me to explain this to you"

DAHHHHHHH THAT IS A NEGATIVE LOOKAHEAD YOU CRETIN

I just fucking despise working on someone else's code and it's filled with errors like "reciever" instead of "receiver" or "mesasge" instead of "message"...

it fucking leads to an astonishing amount of fucking errors just because I know how to write english words AND I'M ITALIAN WTF

So today in class, we had the task of presenting poems, for whatever godforsaken reason.

I finished mine last minute and guess who's been the lucky student who had to read theirs.

It then included things such as, roughly translated from german.

Hey actually I could use the translate bot for this but can't be bothered.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, I can't rhyme and neither can you"
"Roses are dead, violets are dead, democracy is dead"
"Roses are red, violets are red, everything is red, communism"
"Roses are red, violets are red, blood is red, god is dead"

Then I finished up with a Nietzsche quote "God is dead, god remains dead and we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves yadda yadda"

Actually didn't get fucked over by the teach.
Course and teach quite liked it apparently, can someone explain to me why that is?

Cause I genuinely do not understand what could be likable about such 0815 garbage that's just memes?

New job, first day after roughly 5 months doing absolute shit.

Oh and I got a garden now.

Let’s see...

Don't you love it when there is a new minor release or a critical dependency and it breaks backwards compatibility without mentioning any of it in the changelog or docs?
I absolutely love it! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I certainly did not waste 3 hours of my life to find it. No i didn't.

Yesterday, I was expecting my merge request to be closed.
I've done all the stuff my tech lead told me to do.

All tests passes, green light boyzzzzz.
Gitlab CI pipeline passes, greeeeeen light I said.

In Jenkins everything f*cked up...

Why ??

Well it was a conflict with 3 other MRs, missing rebase from other dudes.

And because they were remote working, got to clean up all this mess.

That's was a day off.

PS : well that's was not so off, I could fix a UB on a ternary and extend a test which was not covering some cases.

PS2 : learn git damn

If you want to learn about bad UX design, look at every GDPR-compliant cookie alert on websites. The dialogues generally follow this pattern:
* Highlighting "Accept all" instead of "Reject" to bait you into habit-clicking.
* After clicking "Reject", you'll be redirected to an infinite list of usages. There is never a "deselect all" option. You need to opt-out everything manually.
* Sliders use some ambiguous coloring scheme without labels, which means you never know if you turned it on or off.
* Instead of "Reject", there is an "Other options" button. Clicking it redirects to a EULA document, with at the end... no other options.

Everything looks compliant, but they are still boobietrapping everything so you just wouldn't be able to opt out. Fucking data-vendoring assholes.

I'm working with a customer named Clint.

I realize now that over numerous tickets I started mistyping his name... just every god damn time.

Guess what letter I left out?

Nice guy for not correcting me ... extra fast ticket response for him now.

To that person who came here to weep about how his employees don’t want to work on weekends and how he’s gonna force them to and deleted his rant that was downvoted to oblivion:

Please re-evaluate your mindset. Today it’s just downvotes, tomorrow it’s your entire staff quitting and pressing charges.

Going to a webpage and after 5 seconds being "welcomed" by the typical "Are you leaving?" popup.
Yes, at first I wanted to read the article but now on second thought I am leaving.

My daughter made me two things:
1) She found a rock in the shape of an “alien” head. Knowing I love to research UFOs, she used nail polish to decorate the rock like an alien. And I just love it!

2) I have a reputation for being just like Charlie Brown with my luck in life. I also suck at math. Like, really, really bad. I was diagnosed with dyscalculia 22 years ago. It’s a running joke at our house such that I even have the t-shirt she depicts me wearing in this painting of “me” she did for my birthday.

I spent about an hour writing my own password generator at work... (And probably my item password safe) because my company doesn't allow using Keepass...

But require super complex passwords... That need to be exactly 8 characters...

And they expect us to somehow think of and remember them... And change it every 6 months....

As a developer, isn't it a given that if we can't have something, we'll just build one ourselves... But one that is lower quality since it is adhoc and with by a single dev... That doesn't have time or the experience of a domain expert...

They also blocked GitHub/Sourceforge so I can't just download from my own repo... And basically need to do it on company time... For better or worse.

I had a discussion - no, it was more a lobotomy - with one of our "experts"

I was kinda confused, as he had several grafana tabs open and an query editor...

He explained to me that he debugs and optimizes his query based on the grafana data....

Elasticsearch cluster with several hundred, different indices, > 20 TB data

I explained to him the scrape interval of 5secs, that he cannot distinguish his query from other queries, that there is far too much of an interference... Let alone that a 5 sec scrape interval is a very loooong time.....

Nope. It makes perfect sense to him and he'll continue to work like this.

I hate it when you get tunnel vision and forget simple solutions exist. Especially when you make yourself sound dumb in doing so.

Spent a bunch of time trying to wrap my head around how you could send data from one website to another and dynamically load content and all this other stuff, only to be told a GET call would make it a lot easier.

With my head in the clouds thinking of complex solutions I said "can you open a new page with a GET call?"

Can you. Open. A new page. With a GET call.

Yes, dumbass, of course you can. Here I am trying to figure out how it's possible to intercept data from a different websites HTTP call to the server and I asked if it's possible to do what ~literally~ a link does.

The bathroom here doesn't leave me worried I'm going to catch hepatitis.

For different reasons, this outbreak of coronavirus lead me to learn how to use git efficiently (never had to before, as I work mostly alone). In two days I learned to fork, branch, pull, push, ... I feel like I really accomplished something for myself.

Oh and I also started to collaborate to a shiny app in R. Any way is good to keep my mind off the fact of being in lockdown in a foreign country.

Stay positive people! :)

For the last time, git is not GitHub.

I just applied for a job in Australia.
I live in Europe....

Visual Studio has been one of my all time favorite text editors. This is Visual Studio Code Extensions Setup what I use.

https://roogen.com/visual-studio-co...

I finished a big refactoring. It makes me feel so good to delete all those lines of code. Even though I have a decided to leave this company in the near future, I am very happy that I leave the code in a better shape. Somebody who is replacing me doesn't have to go through shit anymore.

Me and the team I manage after fixing bugs,
Me: hey devXY, please send a build to the QA to test it. I am going to a meeting.

*2 hours later

QA guy: hey, we did not receive any build yet.. we are already out of time..

Me to devXY: hello, why didn't you send a build to QA?

devXY: ok, sending it now.

ME LIKE: WTF!!!

Spend nearly a full eight-hour day working on a piece of code that, while not at all trivial, would have taken probably two hours start to finish if not for the constant stream of interruptions bombarding me...

...but then, 10 minutes before quitting time, build and run it for the first time...

...AND IT FREAKING WORKS!

I'm never more scared than when ~1000 lines of code works the very first time it's run. Makes me want to check if I've signed any documents presented as a "deal" by a guy with a fiddle in a southern state :)

Pet peeve #91847 - when your non technical manager routinely forwards you articles about technical subjects, usually written by non technical idiots, and says "please see if this is something we should be using".

Yeah, I get that your business manager friend has heard Blockchain is amazing, Rsocket is revolutionary, and everyone should now be using Kafka, but none of that makes any sense for our use case.

The clincher had to be telling me to look at AWS groundstation though. And no, we don't have anything to do with satellites...

Don't you just love it when you're pitching new project ideas and there's always that one negative person that has to find something to complain about?

They literally said to me "But what if the user runs out of battery? that will make the application useless for them"

At this point it just feels like this person is turning down every idea for the sake of turning them down.

The most unusual place I have coded:

At office
Last Friday at 9:05 PM.
No one was there except me and a strange tapping sound kept coming out of no where.
Outside the window, I could see two people fighting.

Suck dicks Microsoft... Get choked.
All I wanted to do was to uninstall this piece of crapware.

And now you're telling me i need to UPDATE the installer in order to uninstall.

What the fuck, what obscure substances have you been smoking lately? imbicile numbskull maniacs.

God, the dude who "assisted" me today can go and fuck himself with a cactus.

I need to configurate and integrate some cms into a project. But since the documentation is utter horse shit and superficial, it's fucking torture to do so!

So after creating an issue on their helpdesk, i get an answer from some employee there. Instead of actually posting something useful, he decide that he could instead quote the fucking documentation.

Of course, he also quotes the very page i mentioned in my issue for being COMPLETELY USELESS. This goes back and forth. And he keeps just quoting the fucking documentation.

So i decompiled their product and painstakingly worked out how the feature worked that i needed.

Fuck you support asshole. I hope you get to maintain a legacy VBA project!