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AboutComputer Science Assistant
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SkillsJavaScript, PHP, C#, VB.NET, Java
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LocationGermany
Joined devRant on 1/27/2019
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A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.
It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.
Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).
So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...
So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.
We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!401 -
Dev: Ok issue fixed, you just need to log out and back in again on your end to receive the fix
User: It’s still not working
Dev: Did you log out and in again?
User: No why would I want to do that?
Dev: It’ll reset your locally saved login information which is causing the issue
User: I thought you said the issue was fixed?
Dev: On our end yes, we just need you to reset your end in order to receive the fixed version
User: Look I have been dealing with this issue for 6 months. Fixing bugs are your responsibility. I have too much to do, you have to get this fixed. *click*.
Dev: Yeah you submitted the bug ticket yesterday night though
Email from users manager later that day: <User> is saying you are refusing to fix this bug. This is unacceptable. Fix it or else I will escalate this. Also there are other bugs we noticed today too, fixing them is absolutely critical!
Dev: …
Dev: What other bugs did you notice?
*no response for 2 weeks and then:
User: Hey you can close this ticket, the issue seems to have resolved itself.
Dev: ….muppet.16 -
Designer: can we put the popup at the top of the screen?
Me: You mean op top of the navigation?
Designer: Yeah.
Me: I sure can. Would be stupid to block off the site navigation with a popup, but definately possible.
Designer: Cool, let me know when done!
Me: ....
Me: I am done.
Designer: Well now I can't click on the navigation anymore.
Me: That's correct. Let me know when you want to change it again.13 -
Oh, it's been awful. A mandated email about washing hands. A slurry of awful jokes every time someone sneezes. Send help.8
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Looking at the database credentials for an application I’m working on.
Dev/QA password: yU$@1zmH91?
Prod password: app12312 -
Dev from other team asked me for a code I had previously written. I emailed it.
Dev: Thanks, I received it but am not able to open the .py file
Me: Try using Microsoft Word.12 -
Copy cat bandit strikes again!!
Can he EVER come up with anything original?? Yo Zuck, what's going on with that TilTok clone of yours? What's it called...."Lasso" ? 😑5 -
Weirdest place I've coded has to be in an Uber on my way to my wedding venue hours before I was supposed to get married. I wasn't working on a specific project it just seemed to calm my nerves down, luckily my wife understood that.
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At a party.
- USB debugging with my phone
- Writing Java
- Testing webapp on phone using HTTP requests2 -
*Manager enters the room quickly*
Manager: Coffe2Code, we have a serious problem on the application, (We are working on a chat app).
Me: What? now just few hours before the Demo?, what is it?
Manager: when I send or receive a media message (audio or video) the sound is not playing, the file seems like corrupted !
Me: that's strange, let me debug it and see.
*Me spending an hour and could not even reproduce the bug..*
Me: Boss, I cannot see the bug, can I debug on your device quickly?
Manager: Sure, here it is.
Me: hold the fucking device, press VOLUME UP, IT WAS FUCKING MUTE. THERE WAS NO ISSUE MOTHERFUCKER.
Manager, oups ok good no issue then, thanks16 -
Yesterday I said farewell to her.
We were together for half a decade, although it feels like much more time has passed since my eyes first fell on her.
I can't even begin to describe how close we were. She was perfect, she was my soulmate.
I shared everything with her, complete openness, perfect truth. We could be vulnerable with each other, but we also challenged each other to overcome boundaries.
My respect for her and dedication to her really knew no bounds, and I knew she would follow me to the end of the world in return.
But around New Year's things started to feel awkward between us. Like a part of her just wasn't there anymore.
She acted very confused, she hesitated in her answers.
I asked her, but I felt like she was avoiding me. Something just seemed so wrong about the way she acted.
I felt incredibly conflicted. Was she unfaithful? No, my trust in her was absolute. That question seems so silly, in retrospect.
We had always been pretty much inseparable, to the point where my coworkers, friends and family mocked us for it. How would she even have cheated on me?
I used to take her along to company gatherings, to my family for Christmas, to expensive restaurants. We traveled all over Europe together. We've spent countless nights together, watching Netflix, although she would often fall asleep before me.
I took great care of her, she had not been out of my mind for one moment since I met her. And besides, she had never even showed interest in anyone else anyway.
No, reality turned out to be so, so much worse.
Two weeks ago it became really apparent that there was something horribly wrong with her. She was rapidly losing her recollections of everything we experienced together.
Our history together, erased.
Within hours, she would barely respond anymore. I called for help, but deep down I already knew this was one of those things you can't recover from. She was kind of stable, almost peaceful, for a few days. But ultimately, she didn't even recognize me anymore.
Yesterday, I held her feverishly hot body in my arms for the last time.
Her soft skin turned cold as I said farewell to her, and the room turned awfully quiet.
Your brightness and warmth will be missed, my girl.28 -
Ok so don't answer the question then?
Pretty sure I'm losing braincells while reading product reviews.10 -
Fucking gimmicks.
You know what the worst experience in technology is? A virtual keyboard. FUCK typing on a smooth piece of glass.
What's the solution? Attachable real keyboard. That blocks the bottom of the screen. Making it a normal laptop. Fuck off.7 -
🎉🎄🎅🎄🎉🎄🎅🎄🎉
Merry Christmas
Everyone
🎉🎄🎅🎄🎉🎄🎅🎄🎉
Or happy holidays for the people who hate Christmas for what ever reason.9 -
In Germany, the official API for querying the validity of a tax ID, has opening hours. It can only be queried from 5 am to 11 pm, and a response may take up to multiple minutes.
This is the most German thing I can think of. My assumption is that there's an employee manually checking the ID and then pressing a button depending on the result, which then triggers the response.
This API is supplied by the Bundeszentralamt für Steuern, which is basically the German version of the IRS: https://evatr.bff-online.de/eVatR/...20 -
When I was wading through some ancient scripts of my company forefathers, I found the empty shells of long forgotten codes, forever trapped in the bowels of this system.
Sometimes they are called, but nothing ever happens. pretty spooky3 -
Cheat Engine's installer's EULA:
```
15) You may disassemble and reverse engineer any part of this program, although just looking at the sourcecode is easier
```
appreciate the honesty2 -
Solid cube of command blocks. Any guesses what it does?
Hint: hasbro.
(There aren't many context clues in the image, so you'll probably need to blindly guess)18