Things that make me angry:

*

-- How I feel at work lately, in terms my wife understands --

Me: There's a gas leak, we need to fix it.

Manager: Yeah, use some duct tape, here's a roll.

Me: That's not how we fix a problem like this.

Manager: Will it work to solve the problem?

Me: Only temporarily

Manager: Ask your co-worker if you need help using duct tape, he's used it before. When will it be fixed?

Debugging is...

Had some troubles getting audio to work in Arch Linux. Turns out that it was just muted...

This fucking stupid asshole developer, wrote every single SQL execution with string formatting. Made me a full sleepless night fixing this shit. Isn’t this a classical SQL injection sample?

Am I the only one that thinks it's extremely fucking stupid that the software engineering industry is simultaneously experiencing a "shortage of talent" and maintaining the same ATS that filters legitimate talent just because the resume doesn't fit keyword specifications?

We see it every day. People with years of experience that should never be allowed to touch important code. People with little to no experience that learn fast and perform well. Fuck years of experience being the only thing some recruiters see.

"We generally don't hire people with less than 3 years experience" shut your fucking mouth. Ridiculous. You hire people out of college, don't lie to my face.

Oh and don't even get me started on how many people fabricate their industry experience and get interviews from it. That's what happens when recruitment patterns fail to catch up to an industry that increasingly trains people better up front, and in shorter time periods, and values skills that ATS doesn't give a shit about.

Crazy idea: make job applications test problem solving competency instead of weeding out quality candidates.

Job searching is frustrating.

Client comes to me after a year to publish an update to his app.

I accept, start looking for my release key.... Found it.

Fuuuuuuucccck what's the password? I can't remember

Googled what to do if forgot password of keystore: Nope can't do shit other than brute Force. You've to forget your app and publish as a new app. Nice.

I must have written it somewhere... I'm sure. Check my password manager: Nope.

Start brute forcing:
Default pass: android. Nope
Name of app? Nope

After 10 mins of brute forcing:
Why would I not store the password in my password manager? The only reason I can think is the password is too stupid to be stored.

Try "password". App signed successfully.

I'm ashamed of 1 year older me xD

- Two months ago I joined this company and did literally nothing ever since. For that I would like to thank my line manager and his entire branch for being an amazingly incompetent colleagues, and for mumbling "that's how the client works" every time I raised the same damn problem. Also, let's not forget my HR manager and interviewer, who apparently have no connection whatsoever with real situation of company's projects. And last but not least this remarkably hierarchical workplace where you can't throw a rock without hitting a cocksure higher-up.
Y'all fucks deserve some serious brain readjustment.

Who the fuck at Microsoft decided to put python on their store? I don’t care if it’s on the store. What I do give many shits about is that I spent 20 minutes uninstalling and reinstalling and reconfiguring my fucking PATH because the python & python3 commands did not work but instead SENT ME TO THE FUCKING STORE PAGE FOR PYTHON 3.7

THEN I FIND OUT ITS NOT A PROBLEM WITH THE PATH MICROSOFT PURPOSELY CREATED ALIASES FOR BOTH COMMANDS SO THEY HAVE TO SEND YOU TO THE STORE PAGE WHEN YOU TYPE python OR python3 INTO THE CMD OR POWERSHELL.

I turned it off after finding that out, but I’m still furious. Fuck Windows.

Omfg this fucking guy!!!!

Context:

We are going through a major refactor of some of our backend components. I was tasked with cleaning up our ML code while another guy was tasked with cleaning up the general CRUD side of the backend, let's call him DA for "dumb ass".

** At 11pm
DA: I am getting a strange error from your backend. Look:

"Invalid call: method=PUT expected=[POST]"

Me: you need to send a post request not a put request

DM: no, it's not that. I am sending the right thing

Me: ... Let me see...

* 15min ish of testing *

No, it works fine on my version, 1.1.0 what's your version?

DM: I'm on 1.1.0.

Me: send me code?

DM: *send

"request.put(..."

Me: you are sending a PUT... It's literally in the screenshot. Send a Post

DM: I am

Me: no, send a Post

DM: I don't understand, I am sending the request

Me: it's a post not a put

DM: but...

Me: it's a post not a put
Me: good night!!!!!!

It was a hackathon about this new very interesting totally-not-abused technology called Blockchain, so obviously I ignored everything and focused on picking up this cute tsundere girl (I did).
And somehow still got 2nd place lol  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

First issue with Manjaro. I am not sure when it begun, but now, every single time linux uses the SWAP file, the entire system stays unresponsive, freezing (not even the mouse moves), so I need to wait until it finishes using the SWAP to be able to use it again.

I have 16GB RAM and I was not noticing that, but for some reason, Chromium started to use a little bit of the SWAP when the Hardware Acceleration were turned on and the mouses started to stop moving for a few ms/seconds.

So I tried it out: opened a VM with 8GB RAM and done, my PC were frozen for about 10 minutes, until I were able to use it again.

When I turn on the swap file, everything works fine again, even the VM. It does not matters with the SWAP is on a SSD or not.

EVERYTIME!

Joe is a developer. Kyle is a guy in Los Angeles.

BOOOOOYS

I just figured out after a year of owning the machine why the monitors felt like they were running a bit sluggish in Windows. They were!!

Even though they are 144hz monitors Windows locked them down to 60hz! Fuck, that's so dumb!

Linux didn't do that. Fuck, that's so dumb!

So I'm gonna finish my interpreter. No matter how much fucking work it is to implement a proper cross platform terminal library, because all the existing ones suck. I'm gonna write a debugger for it.

And then I'm gonna learn to play the ukulele.
And I'm going to start a new project that may actually make me a good sum of money.

This is the plan. If I don't do this then literally fuck my life, I might aswell jump off a bridge because I can't fucking do anything

haha😂😂😃😉

Haha python's poem!!

So there I am sitting in front of my laptop, and trying to npm i and I am getting all sorts of sha mismatch errors.

After lot of debug I conclude it is coming from the proxy as it refuses to download and supplies the error page.

It says it's because I'm using the old proxy so they give me the new URL which I set up and it works.

All good until my password expires. I use our bash script to change it. NPM is buggered again throwing the same errors.

Go to IT, tell them the saga begins.

After a countless hours of looking at the log files we notice that the npm registry is set to http instead of the standard https (thanks bash script). so our firewall blocks the download.

Sorted, finally.

Almost. NPM now works fine, but when I go and I play around with node and axios, I get my requests time out. My instinct says its the bloody proxy again.

So I hit up my trusted WIN Support guy and he confirms that the url is not blocked. So he starts monitoring whats going on and turns out, every time I run the node app, node casually ignores the system-wide proxy settings and tries to send the request as the PC rather then my username.

Since the pc's don't have rights on the proxy it is being refused...

Thank fuck for the corporate proxies, without them, I could just develop things not ever learning these quirks of node...

Holly shit, they will never understand....

If you come to dev, minding his buissness, writing some code, beeing focused, with headphones on, etc. You absolutely destroy his cache of things in mind, you stay next to him gazing at his screen and throwing away madly words that you need some data extracted from database NOW and you will stay standing next to him gazing when he quickly types few lines of ultra-wide screen of SQL querry with all the fucking joins and shit you wanted with exac aliases you understand and makes one typo but query executes and spits out some data. He didn't notice that something is wrong with it becouse he didn't memorize database's data, and he sends it to you.

Now you are coming back to him pissed and in general fighting mood becouse he did one fucking typo when you was actively pressurizing him to make fucking query faster while you absolutely destroyed his flow of work (in meaning he now needs to dive back into code, figure out why he was editing given file and what was idea for further structure)

Now you are standing again next to him and absolutely pissing him off that he fucked up and made one fucking typpo that unfortnately database didn't say "nope" but it instead spit out wrong data.

If you can relate to "you" stated above, sincerly fuck you.
If you can relate to "he" stated above, I feel ya man, its fucking annoying, isn't it?

Just had a company meeting. Basicly the company blamed all devs that they are losing money. Is it normal? It's my first workplace so I simply don't know. It felt bad, they low key threatened to firing lowest performing people. And said they will look at everyone's performance individually and eveluate if they are earning money from each person.

Beginning of semester in courses with group projects.
It's that time of the year again where you look around in the lecture and try to find the person that least likely makes your whole semester a misery.

It gets really irritating when I get turned down for jobs because, despite provable experience, I don't have a degree in computer science.

I can't go back to college because one of the colleges I was at lost my transcripts. And here, by law, the college you are applying to must have your entire transcript history before admitting you.

So I'm fucked and just hoping to find a company focused more on provable knowledge than a piece of paper. Yay.

"I bought a cup of coffee, I live here now"
- freelancers in coffee shops

Seriously, just fuck this community.

Nice surprise left on my desk at work today:)

Apple has programmed an avatar maker in iMessage that generates emoji that are supposed to resemble the person. However it does not have any setting for facial structure to represent a person’s sex. I’m pretty sure they did it because “gender is a construct”.

When I was growing up I had some issues with gender dysphoria. I am male genetically. I was mistaken as female my whole childhood because I was “pretty”, my best friends were girls, and I liked cooking, drawing, and dancing. Puberty happened and I started to look like a man. I considered transitioning because I felt female but I decided to let my body do what it wants and do the things I like to do without worrying about if they are gendered or not. I am married and male and I like what I like.

This stupid iMessage avatar. I have tried my hardest to make it look like me. I have long hair and keep my facial hair clean. They don’t have a switch to change some facial physiological traits so I have this Memoji that looks like a woman with a slight hormonal imbalance. It makes me feel conflicted like I felt when I was young. I haven’t thought about it in years and now I feel like I have an uncomfortable secret female avatar that i carry around on my phone and I feel like I’m carrying a secret.

A persons genetics result in differences in facial structures. Biological sex is more than the length of hair and whether a person wears makeup. I hate this “sex is a construct” trend. I’m fine living my life, but then companies push this software onto my phone like propaganda. I want it to look as masculine as I look IRL.

Four semesters in. As a class we’ve learned Java, SQL, HTML/CSS, JavaScript, C++, C#, and a small amount of PHP

We’ve built databases, websites, apps for phone and desktop, and we’ve toyed with game development in unity

We’ve used multiple IDE’s with differing pros and cons, virtual machines, server development stacks (XAMPP), data structures, and we’ve used multiple sorting algorithms to learn their differences.

Some things on here are immensely more difficult than others. If at 4 semesters in you still don’t know how to AT LEAST google your issues for 10 minutes or even READ THE DAMN BOOK, then please don’t bother asking TA’s for help we have our own assignments to do and can’t afford spend an hour working with you to fix your code while you just ignore our suggestions

Four semesters in you should know where to find help online and if that doesn’t work, how to ask for and accept help. If you can’t then I’m sorry. I’m going to spend my time helping others, before I waste my time trying to help you

I met my girlfriend cooking. She has no programming experience whatsoever and is quite computer illiterate. But that's fine as that's not something I need in a partner.

She regularly asks me what I'm working on. I'll try to explain it, and sometimes she definitely gets it, but sometimes she's clearly lost as fuck. She'll enthusiastically say things like "that's awesome honey!" To things that are just explanations. Sometimes it makes me laugh. Most of the time it leaves me in this weird confused state, like she's just pandering.

But I know she means well and wishes me the best. She's an amazing woman, and even if she doesn't get a single thing I try to explain, I'd much rather be with that than the "Why the fuck are you always playing on the computer?" Types of people I meet far more often.

Was lead developer at a small startup, I was hiring and had a budget to add 3 new people to my team to develop a new product for the company.

Some context first and then the rant!

Candidate 1 - Amazing, a dev I worked with before who was under utilized at the previous company. Still a junior, but, she was a quick learner and eager to expand her knowledge, never an issue.

Candidate 2 - Kickass dev with back end skills and extras, he was always eager to work a bit more than what was expected. I use to send him home early to annoy him. haha!

Candidate 3 - Lets call him P.

In the interview he answers every question perfectly, he asks all the right questions and suggests some things I havent even thought of. CTO goes ahead and says we should skip the technical test and just hire the guy, his smart and knows what his talking about, I agree and we hire him. (We where a bit desperate at this stage as well.)

He comes in a week early to pick up his work laptop to get setup before he starts the next week, awesome! This guy is going to be an asset to the company, cant wait to have him join the team - The CTO at this stage is getting ready to leave the company and I will be taking over the division and need someone to take over lead position, he seems like the guys to do it.

The guys starts the next week, he comes in and the laptop we gave him is now a local server for testing and he will be working off his own laptop, no issue, we are small so needed a testing stack, but wasnt really needed since we had procedures in place for this already.

Here is where everything goes wrong!!! First day goes great... Next day he gets in early 6:30am (Nice! NO!), he absolutely smells, no stinks, of weed, not a light smell, the entire fucking office smells of weed! (I have no problem with weed, just dont make it my problem to deal with). I get called by boss and told to sort this out people are complaining! I drive to office and have a meeting with him, he says its all good he understands. (This was Friday).

Monday comes around - Get a call from Boss at 7:30am. Whole office smells like weed, please talk to P again, this cannot happen again. I drive to office again, and he again says it wont happen again, he has some issues with back pain and the weed helps.

Tuesday - Same fucking thing! And now he doesnt want to sign for the laptop("server") that was given to him, and has moved to code in the boardroom, WHERE OUR FUCKING CLIENTS WILL BE VIEWING A DEMO THAT DAY OF THE PRODUCT!! Now that whole room smells like weed, FML!

Wednesday - We send P a formal letter that he is under probation, P calls me to have a meeting. In the meeting he blames me for not understanding "new age" medicine, I ask for his doctors prescription and ask why he didnt tell me this in the interview so I could make arrangements, we dont care if you are stoned, just do good work and be considerate to your co-workers. P cant provide these and keeps ranting, I suggest he takes pain killers, he has none of it only "new age" medicine for him.

Thursday - I ask him to rather "work" from home till we can get this sorted, he comes in for code reviews for 2 weeks. I can clearly see he has no idea how the system works but is trying, I thought I will dive deeper and look at all of his code. Its a mess, nothing makes sense and 50% of it is hard coded (We are building a decentralized API for huge data sets so this makes no sense).

Friday - In code review I confront him about this, he has excuses for everything, I start asking him harder questions about the project and to explain what we are building - he goes quiet and quits on the spot with a shitty apology.

From what I could make out he was really smart when it came to theory but interpreting the theory to actual practice wasnt possible for him, probably would have been easier if he wasnt high all the time.

I hate interview code tests, but learned a valuable lesson that day! Always test for some code knowledge as well even if you hate doing it, ask the right questions and be careful who you hire! You can only bullshit for so long in coding before someone figures out that you are a fraud.