Job interview for junior dev position:

Recruiter: Implement stack
Me: Here you go *typical C++ stack implementation, struct node, push, pop*
Recruiter: This is classical over engineering, you should just inherit from std::stack
Me: wtf?

I can maintain your shitty legacy node 6 code
And the shitty m3 ec2 instance with Ubuntu 16 that it runs on
And another one with postgres 9
But if I have to make a powerpoint presentation, I am jumping ship.
A man has his limits

- I'm forced to do dev on Windows with no admin because security
- We receive patches to critical systems from outside company on FTP secured with password "asd123" and install them without reading because fuck security

So yesterday one of the "senior" python developers woke me up at 1 am (we work in different time zones, and he knows how many hours I'm ahead) asking why isn't his code working. The error message was:

[ERROR] Runtime.ImportModuleError: Unable to import module 'app': xxx is not installed, run `pip install xxx` Traceback (most recent call last)

I am at lose of words and patience. Not only idiots who can't google simple stuff are seniors, additionaly we went from "DevOps is a culture" straight to "hey I'm developer in my silo, if it doesn't work on my machine it's DevOps problem, plz fix".

YoU nEEd tO tHInK MorE LiKe oUr nOn tEcHnICal UsErs

That's your fucking job you powerpoint monkey, I'm writing code since age of 14, I distrust everything that doesn't spit out logs of what it's extacly doing to my console including you, my gf says sudo to get my attention, how the hell am I supposed to know how normies think

Just scored my personal red flag bingo in new project:
- engineers who work there for 20+ years
- their own in house build tool
- "we have Jira so it means we are agile"
- "we have Jenkins so it means we do Ci/cd"
- git adoption is "in progress"

Job interview just made me realize I can't write a working line of code without IDE holding my hand ffs...

Fren: you suck at design
Me: hold my coffee, you baka gajin

Finally got access to repo in my new work place (bank). Now I'm considering keeping my money buried somewhere instead of using bank accounts...

2nd day in new job. Random HR training blabbing about something (thanks God all remote so I just did things around house). Blabbing about diversity and other corporate brainwashing. Then she proceeds to say that if someone is introvert and doesn't like to interact with people then such person should look for work in some other company (wtf x1). Next in line her real life story how she yelled at her subordinates (wtf x2 who admits to mobbing xd ) but that's ok because she is choleric and people have to understand that different character types make their team better xD
I have a bad feelings about where this is going...

"coding is an art"

The never ending struggle between my need to do things the right way and the way client wants them

Coworker: hi
Me: hi
... 3 hours later ...
C: hi
M: how can I help?
...
C: hi
M: HAVE YOU EVER USED COMMUNICATOR IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE? JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT IN FIRST MESSAGE, DONT WAIT FOR ME TO HI YOU BACK, WHAT THE HELL HOW MANY TIMES A DAY YOU NEED TO GREET ME

Looking for patients on LinkedIn ?

Arguing with my girlfriend (recalled from my mind, not 100% accurate)

she: What do you expect when you buy an android?
Me: sure thing apple is more "unpack it, use it", easy to use - but android is more like an empty canvas. The first thing when I buy it is setting it up to my needs.
she: You don't understand, what do you expect from your android device?
me: It has to be affordable and work for a certain time
she: No I mean, do you.. when you unpack your phone, expect it TO WORK?
me: Sure, it's not like I buy a pile of trash, I expect it to work
she: you're too stupid, baka
me: ... ? *confused*
she: When you say it is like a canvas, isn't a canvas someday full?
me: yes, every phone, iPhone, Pixel, Samsung, every phone has a limited memory
she: *mad* you don't get it, silly
me: I want to but heh, I don't get it

It was a hackathon about this new very interesting totally-not-abused technology called Blockchain, so obviously I ignored everything and focused on picking up this cute tsundere girl (I did).
And somehow still got 2nd place lol  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So recently I completed side gig from random freelancing site where I had to shadow troubleshoot performance problems over teams call with random Indian guy on his client's AWS account. Long story short you can autoscale new instances all you want but it's not gonna help if your FIFO sqs has only one message group ID. This architecture is running an online game, which is basically limited to processing ONE event at the same time for ALL players xD
What's even better, basing on naming convention I realized it's a company that I interviewed for like 4 months ago and they told me "we need someone with more experience". Well good luck, thanks for quick cash

//computer class at school doing html

classmate:"Hey can you help me? that img isnt showing."

me:"Yeah of course" *look at screen and see a single line if code without spaces or anything*
"What are you doing? Why do you write everything in one line?"

classmate:"Ohh you can write it over multiple lines?"

me:"...."

At that time we worked with html for around 2 weeks

How are you? I have burning open position, are you interested?
Are you open to the position?
Are you open?
ARE YOU OPEN?

Well how would I know? You didn't tell me literally anything. Why won't they start with tech stack and salary range instead of 20 "how are you messages". Why is it so hard? Why are recruiters so hopeless, I'm never gonna get this how and why this garbage ineffective way of working is tolerated by companies.

Oh hey, sussy little baka

Dude from our dev team: "Anime girls aren't generic"

Us: Hold my beer you baka gajin

First day of web server programming class. The teacher clearly doesn't know anything. He doesn't even know what the course is about! When someone asks him what it is, he mumbles about "dynamic" something... Then he says we will be using the languages JavaScript, MVC, and PHP. What the fuck. MVC? LANGUAGE?

He then tries to come up with some project we could make, and is not going to teach anything apparently. Keep in mind, most people in this class have very little previous experience with programming.

After not saying anything for a long time, he finally tells us to make a clock in JavaScript. A CLOCK. He is supposed to teach how to make Web APIs and such, but instead, he tells us to make a clock in JavaScript, and that's it.

What. The. Fuck.

DevOps Engineer - Entire position exists primarily because Developers don't want to write YAML files

My new colegue at work was tasked with getting familiar with some Java code that had security vulnerability. He complained about slow build time for the first hour and then I stopped paying attention. At the end of day I checked on him and was like wtf how are you still trying to build this.
Turns out he ran Gradle task bootRun and watched logs of working app for 8 hours because he thought that's build xD

OHHHHH MY GOD I HAVE THE BEST IDEA

Make devRant avatars sing Baka Mitai (do the deepfake thing)

All day emails are flying with executives, managers and leads jerking each other off after a "successful" migration from old, weird ass in-house custom java build tool that took hours to build anything and required the dependencies to be downloaded manually, to mainstream tool that also takes hours to build anything aka. Gradle.

What the code monkeys responsible for this migration actually did, was write Gradle plugins that still call that old weird ass tool in the background.

Am I the only one wondering when the IT bubble is going to burst? I mean, I'm getting paid ridiculous money for things that could be done by trained monkey, I barely work more than 4h per contract and every year I either get a raise or swap job for one that gives it to me. How long can this go on? When the big tech layoffs started I though that's it, but nope. How the hell does this function

hey does anyone here have a idea what website i could build?

i know html/css, js, node.js and looked into express lately and would like to build something bigger but i have absolutly no idea what i can do ^^

Started new contract recently, their main product is aiming to be some kind of automation holy grail for business, basically low code nonsense integrating with most of the industry standard tools like sap or confluence. Their entire infrastructure is setup manually, slowly transitioning from on premise to AWS. No infra as code, no playbooks, not even scripts, just "engineers" painstakingly clicking the UI. They don't seem to see the irony of being automation company that doesn't use automation, but I'm having a good laugh at least.

Once again I see offshore "developer" copy paste entire code base to separate folder, work on it there and then copy paste it back. Use a git branch goddammit. Is there something I'm not aware, is source control banned outside EU and US?

Started 2022 with working 2 full time contracts. Might look for 3rd since I'm still not even close to having put in more than 6 hours a day. The goal is to save up for my own apartment in a year. Wish me luck.

One enki code for two
BADA1164

have fun

when do you get a stress ball and is it really that good?

I switched jobs and saw new office today. Also found out that this branch has 10 recruiters. This is outsourcing company, not recruiting company. Why the hell they need 10 recruiters in office that has capacity for 70 employees wtf...

Management just sent urgent email to ignore all communication with one of the projects. Looks like some companies struggle with the idea of paying the invoice in time. Can't say that I'm unhappy about skipping 9am call, need my sleep

can anyone recommend me a go laptop for school? and whats your opinion on the Microsoft Surface Pro?