My company just fired 20 people, and the next day instuted a program so salaried employees have to clock in and out. Of course not to effect our pay, just to keep their paranoid asses breathing down our necks. Also, no clocking in remotely so all the work I do from home won't be taken into account. Fucking micromanaging, ball-licking, scum-fuck, MBA, morons couldn't run a company if their lives depended on it. When will these soul-less, suit-wearing, shit-scarffers learn that treating your employees with respect and valueing actual work over bullshit metrics, is a better business strategy than treating them like fucking sheep to the slaughter. Fml, I gotta find a new job...

Oh no, again...

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Versace tie, gets out and asks the Shepherd:

Man: “If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?”

The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies:

Shepherd: “Okay.”

The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says,

Man: “You have exactly 1,586 sheep here.”

The shepherd cheers,

Shepherd: “That’s correct, you can have your sheep.”

The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks,

Shepherd: “If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?”

The young man answers;

Man: “Yes, why not?”

Shepherd: "You are an IT consultant."

Man: “How did you know?”

Shepherd: “Very simple. First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don’t understand anything about my business…Now can I have my DOG back?"

This is what happens when you lie about your sheep herding experience on your Resume/CV.

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie, gets out and asks the shepherd: "If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?"

The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies: "Okay."

The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep here."

The shepherd cheers, "That's correct, you can have your sheep." The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks: "If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?"

The young man answers, "Yes, why not?" The shepherd says, "You are an IT consultant."
"How did you know?" asks the young man.
"Very simple," answers the shepherd. "First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don't understand anything about my business... Now can I have my dog back?"

This facts are killing me

"During his own Google interview, Jeff Dean was asked the implications if P=NP were true. He said, "P = 0 or N = 1." Then, before the interviewer had even finished laughing, Jeff examined Google’s public certificate and wrote the private key on the whiteboard."

"Compilers don't warn Jeff Dean. Jeff Dean warns compilers."

"gcc -O4 emails your code to Jeff Dean for a rewrite."

"When Jeff Dean sends an ethernet frame there are no collisions because the competing frames retreat back up into the buffer memory on their source nic."

"When Jeff Dean has an ergonomic evaluation, it is for the protection of his keyboard."

"When Jeff Dean designs software, he first codes the binary and then writes the source as documentation."

"When Jeff has trouble sleeping, he Mapreduces sheep."

"When Jeff Dean listens to mp3s, he just cats them to /dev/dsp and does the decoding in his head."

"Google search went down for a few hours in 2002, and Jeff Dean started handling queries by hand. Search Quality doubled."

"One day Jeff Dean grabbed his Etch-a-Sketch instead of his laptop on his way out the door. On his way back home to get his real laptop, he programmed the Etch-a-Sketch to play Tetris."

"Jeff Dean once shifted a bit so hard, it ended up on another computer. "

while(!sleep){
sheep++;
}

It's 4am and can't sleep..

Life in IT

Roommate's boyfriend visits just to work because his laptop can't connect via WiFi anymore.

Described the problem and fix attempts yesterday, he got two other tech savvy people involved, now suspects hardware problem.

I needed <1m to re-activate the WiFi adapter, now I'm seen as the local tech God as I deserve.

sheep overflow 🐑

while(!sleeping) {
sheep++;
}

Don't be ridiculous and say Mac's are good for gaming 😣, they aren't.

Their graphics are terrible CPUs are shocking ram ... Average the fact they have fast ssds is great

But that's it. For their price points it's not worth it end of story

I used to say Mac's are worth getting if your a designer or video editor...

I have now changed my position due to the shittyness of their latest products

I'm not really much of a gamer anymore to busy 😓 but I can read specs.

People won't build games for Mac's especially now it will lower the quality of their product. I actually don't even see a point of having a Mac in today's world.

Apple are meant to push boundaries ... They are doing it all wrong now 😐

Accept it... And get a PC 5 times faster then their apple counterparts

I do fucking hate apple but I respected them in the past, if nothing but their clever marketing getting sheep to buy their products . Now I just don't respect them, they could at least try to build something remotely worth the money

got a mail 10 minutes after I finished a 10h shift that my contract won't be refreshed after 4 years ripping my ass off for this fucked up organization. apparently not because of lack of competence but of personal reasons. that's what you get for not being a sheep and having an opinion. my (ex)boss didn't even have the balls to say it to my face.
fuck them! I don't need people like that around me - neither in my spare time nor at work - and I wish them all the worst.
happy holidays motherfuckers!

Noob: I hate $foo language! It sucks!
Me: Have you used the language before?
Noob: no because it sucks!
Me: have you tried using it?
Noob: no because it sucks!
Me: so how do you know it sucks?
Noob: because all my friends that use $baaa says it sucks.
Me: ........ I see your point... sheep 🐑

Me right now...

My college organised some interview with a company, with the whole demn class. We went there, it was quite far away (50km) and the CEO invites us to a meeting room.

Where he bores me for 2 hours talking about their projects in argiculture and NSA like spying systems at tankstations.

They were caputuring license plates at gas stations and with that information gather data about the person, such as salary (by looking at their car), house adres ect. All without people knowing. And than targeting them with specific ads and offers.

The class of sheep were super excited but it pissed me off. Because he told it like it was some awesome advancement in technology that none of us could probably ever do.

He was demeaning us, saying we would do some simple wordpress sites there and other things. We are probably not good enough forc te big stuff.

Asking him some really hard questions about his projects made him so pissed he almost wanted to kick me out.

When it was finally over, there was some test that you have to do if you want to work there. If you were good enough at the test, you could!!!! (YEEY)

Uhm, I said; no thank you I dont want to work here.

Later I talked to my classmate and friend who always thinks he's better then everyone in class even tho he barely understands OOP programming. He was asking me if he should try to get the internship. I told him; dont. They have no value for us and they think they are the greatest company on the planet.

The fucking idiot go so pissed, he stopped talking to me alltogether and blocked me everywere. I AM NOT EVEN JOKING. Just because I gave my FUCKING opinon about a company he likes for no reason.

So this idiot does the test (which was fucking simple btw, I did it too and compared the results and I had 95%) He gets invited for another interview and gets told he will be paid 200 euro's per month 😂. and a free meal everyday!! 😪 hahaha . That doesnt even cover commuting costs!

My "friend" told him that the train costs more every day. You know what the CEO said? "Yeah but you can learn so much here the also brings value and you're just a last year student. But I think you are really brave for asking more"

So in the end, he couldnt take the internship and I was fucking right. Really I hate these kinds of companies thinking they are heaven on earth when they are clearly not.

I am happy I told them no before putting my dignity on thd line.

Had a discussion with a developer about security. His software transfers all user data (password and files) unencrypted, so anyone can grab them with wireshark. I told him that this is a severe issue. He said no its no problem because if you get hacked its your own fault, because you probably used an insecure network. NO ! YOU FUCKING MALADJUSTED SHEEP-MOLESTING OBJECT OF EXECRATION, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS ENCRYPT SENSITIVE USERDATA NO MATTER WHAT NETWORK YOU USE. FUCKING KILL ME ALREADY.
Not implementing encryption is one thing but then acting like its no problem is a fucking nother one. Why do people not understand that security of userdata is important???

I was coding and drinking this weekend, and I might’ve drank too many. Fast forward two days, there is a box from amazon and inside it was an inflatable sheep. Apparently, I ordered it and I can’t remember why

beep beep I'm a sheep

I don't care about your goddamn expectations. If you expected a developer to work in two different teams, you should have made that clear during the interview and I would have declined the offer. I apologize that in my universe, it's common sense that a person is assigned to one team unless advised otherwise so I didn't ask that question during the interview. Guess I was so damn wrong. Lesson learned.

I'm not a plug and play developer. If any of your developers can do that, they can go ahead and do just that. Their slave "yes, sir" mentality does not set the bar for me. I do not have to level up to their degree of "excellency". Call me a failure but fuck you. This is why you fuckers should stop glorifying people who work overtime. They provide inaccurate statistics and burn out other developers who want to live their fucking lives.

If you want to do overtime, do it yourself. Your norm shouldn't be my norm. If you want to be the hero that the company is so afraid to lose, good for you. Been there, done that. It was absolute hell and I got nothing from it, not even slimy cafeteria handjobs.

Obviously, I do not fit into this "company culture" so let me be the black sheep that goes baa baa muddafucka.

How does the new MacBook pro outsell Microsoft surface and dell XPS 😖 are there so many "sheep" out there who buy a 1300+ machine with 2 (max 4 ports) not including the 17 dongles you'll need?

Sorry if I offended anyone but I just think the new MBP is ridiculous and is definitely not "Pro"

Developed my own programming language to teach programming at community college.
I needed an easy to learn language with as few brackets as possible cz these caused the most problems for beginners. Called it robocode. =)
Then i built an IDE around it where you have to program a little sheep to eat all gras in an area. The goal was to teach how to learn the syntax, the libary, debugging and to "see" the code run while the program and the little sheep runs, ..halt the programm, inspect variables, check the positions on the grass, ...i think you get the picture.
Later i built another IDE where you can program a Tetris.

robocode now also powers the calculation in our buisness application.

...i think thats my most successful project so far.

here's a screenshot of the RoboSheep IDE (be nice, it's a few years old) and the links to the download sites. I'm sorry, it's all german cz i never localized it.

How do you milk sheep?
Bring out a new iPhone and charge $1000 for it.

This how every cluster-fuck begins..

Horrible interview story:
I was interviewed in a meeting room along with 2 other applicants at the same time. Our CVs were read to us in front of each other, and the questions were asked game show style where the fastest one answers.
It was terribly unprofessional and a huge red flag.
They wanted to give me a starting salary of 1000$.
Thankfully, I got accepted in another much better company before making a possibly huge mistake.

This has been said countless times before me, and way better than me that’s supper tired, but I need to rant out

And what I’m ranting out today, is Apple. Its essence, its core, the reason it still exists: the ECOSYSTEM!

The problem with Apple ecosystem is that it’s the ecosystem of a fucking PRISON!

People like it because it works well together , but it’s sure that in a prison, the path from your cell to the cantine is pretty optimized; you get forced there! And you might try to get your food elsewhere, but the walls of the prison are made to be difficult to cross. Especially on mobile, where they’re making it harder and harder to escape, to make a jailbreak (pun-intended). Keeping you the loyal little sheep, or the forcing you to it.

That prison is also made private, a little club, to attract people to it. They even got their own little system to talk to each other, but oh god protect them from their little messages to pass the walls of the prison.

And all that prison is guarded by the warden, watching from high in the cloud. Forcing you to report yourself to him to be part of that prison.

That prison, also, can only be entered with specific vehicles, provided by the prison, to ensure maximum compatibility and efficiency. Good luck entering with a disguised vehicle if you find the official ones too pricey for their parts.

They also provided pressure tubes to send things from one cell to another. While being only simple pressure tubes like any other, they’re acclaimed because they’re apparently easier to use than the other 3rd party pressure tubes that can send things to the outside. Why? Because, oh yes it’s already in everybody’s cells (of that prison, outside is dangerous) and the other tubes have been conveniently being placed somewhere harder to reach.

Another thing they have are those windows that can view the outside. While being maybe less clear than some other windows, they are ok. But if you ever consider going mobile to enjoy that safari with lions, then man do they love bringing you back to that window.

Ok so I’m done with the prison metaphor, or I won’t sleep.

The ecosystem is probably the major reason Apple is still there. You buy from there because you’re a prisoner (I guess I’m not finished with the metaphor after all).

This is a prime example of RMS’s quote “If the user doesn’t control the software, the software controls the user”

AirDrop isn’t some sort of revolutionary tech, it uses a well established protocol that other implementations use to do the same thing. They could really easily open source the protocol and allow everyone to profit, but they won’t, because that would mean you don’t have to buy Apple.

That’s why I militate for open source, decentralized and standardized protocols. Because that way, we control the software, and it doesn’t control us.

All the things I said aren’t so bad because when you buy Apple, you make a choice. But I don’t have a choice, I am typing this on an Apple device, because I need to (I won’t elaborate on that) because of that fucking *ecosystem*

I am really tired, so half the sentences probably don’t make sense, but thanks for coming to my stupid TED talk.

People that post shit like "if you believe/support x, then unfollow me" are some extremely conceited and childish morons.

For starters, surrounding yourself with only people who think just like you will make you extremely close minded, which is ironic as fuck because in my experience these people believe x and bitch at y for being close minded whenever they're just as guilty as y.

Secondly is your head that far up your own ass that you can't accept that people aren't gonna be like a flock of sheep and all believe one thing? That's the great thing about us: we're given the opportunity to have our own opinion but these retards don't like whenever people exercise that right. It's tragic how retarded some people actually are.

If you want to talk about politics or religion at work, then you can expect a lot of disinterested nods and “sure”s from me before I leave the room.

I don’t care about your invisible man in the sky, I am here to do work. In fact, your invisible man in the sky can choke on my dick for all I care.

I don’t want to talk about to political cult. I’m here to work. Keep your sheep mentality to yourself.

I’m here to build fucking software, not to take on your insecurities and character flaws.

Zebra crossing need a change

To all those who want to abandon ship like a sheep without thinking.....................

Sometimes reading the reasoning behind GitHub acquisition helps.

The manager and selfperceived omnipotent cult leader was the worst kind of businessman. Slimey and trecherous, zero sense of ethics, but felt holier than the pope because he "helped" his weakling herd of piteous employees.

These employees were smart kids, most of them in their late teens. All of them legally disabled. There was this kid who gobbled up ritalin like candy, a boy who had received his measles shots and turned socially awkward (/s), a chubby girl who could name all the hex colors of her chocolate stained shirt... you know, what we call skilled developers in the industry.

Fiftyfive of them.

They were awesome, awkward highschool dropouts, like I had been a decade earlier. They worked 50h a week. They had great humor, were passionate, devoured information about new technologies, and they built custom websites from scratch in no time. I had to lead this flock, and felt honored to work with them.

Then things started to smell funny.

I discovered all 55 of their workstations ran pirated software, from Windows to Adobe CS. I'm not without sin in that regard, but as a company it's just plain stupid.

Clients were treated like shit. I mean, we all feel like punching a client in the face sometimes, but I'm taking about unjustified debt collections paired with death threats.

Then I found out these kids were often disappearing for a few months, only to return months later.

I started digging, and discovered they were all working reintegration internships (because they were on below minimum wage disability payments), at almost zero cost to my employer.

After 6 months, my boss gave them a negative recommendation, they were all too "sick" to function in normal jobs.

Then they were rotated to a shadow company, doing the same work for another 6 months, and so on to a third company.

He broke these kids, talked them down, made them feel worthless. He threatened the ones who understood what was happening.

I ended up bringing the company down, with the CEO and two government officials jailed for fraud and corruption.

Some employees were quite mad about it, at least at first — I was the shepherd who abandoned his sheep. Luckily, most found better paid positions in no time.

Truly one of the most fucked up and difficult situations I've been in.

Self documenting code is a fucking myth you bloody sheep.

Write “self documenting code” then add a fucking comment or two explaining why the fuck the code deserves should be there because nobody can see what the fuck it is doing or understands how the whole collection of microservices works. I’m sick of spaghetti code bullshit full of accidental redundancy because it is impossible for anyone to realize why something is there at a glance.

I renamed different “Contract” classes today by adding numbers before code review.
Contract
Contract1
Contract2
Contract3
All of these classes are supposed to be the same but somehow they aren’t and you self documenting dumbasses missed it. Don’t gripe about the numbered classes in the repo… fix the fucking code and collapse the classes so we don’t have four sections of code describing the same fucking structure from a http get with different interfaces because four people couldn’t read the whole like some fucking computer.

Maybe it's old and well known, but somebody asked, so here it goes:

A shepherd is quietly grazing his sheep on the fresh village pastures.

Suddenly a shiny new car stops by. A cool guy, very well dressed hops out and asks him: "Good man, If I guess exactly how many sheep you have, can I win one?"

The shepherd, puzzled, accepts.

The cool guy, opens his laptop, download a satellite picture of the area, run a NASA algorithm for image recognition and in few seconds answers "you have 1342 sheep"

"Wooow" says the shepherd "you won, take one"

The cool guy is about to live when the shepherd approaches him:

"Ehi, Young man, I bet all my flock against your car that I can guess what is your job"

The cool guy, (he likes to bet after all) accepts.

"You are a consultant" says the shepherd.
"WTF! how did you even..."

"Well, easy" says the shepherd "you came out of nowhere, well dressed and smart looking, you answered a question nobody asked you, you told me something I already knew, you want to be payed for that and in addition, you don't understand shit about my business."

"Now", adds quietly the shepherd "please, give me back my dog"

(for @LOLjustCoding)

When a co-worker creates a six page website that has over 60 separate CSS files?

Fuck this shit, fuck it, take it down, smash it with a rock and fuck it. Fucking 18th century system where we are graded for a 2 hour work after 6 months of learning. Fuck the idiots who think reading from a piece of paper will teach us something. Fuck the sheep who follow without looking aside. Fuck the asshole who initiated it all, and fuck this shit. Thank you.

When I get bored I just make random websites about something weird like hot dogs or sheeps.

I slowly start to believe I'm an apple fanboy, buy everything!!1

First time rant here, and I'm just gonna let fucking loose because this seems to be a good place for it.

My uni can't teach programming for shit. It's the reason people sign up for the course. They want to know how to program. I'm self-taught and unhappy in college as it is.

I joined CS because I thought they'd assimilate work in the real world, which is experience I need. I realized early on that programming is like art, and I love the rush I get of something finally working right.

That said, they sucked the fun out of it. It's too structured. Everyone trying to get the same goddamn result. In the real world, we'd be working on a larger project that involved planning, design, communication, teamwork, and the ability to complete each of our own pieces of the puzzle and subsequently put them together in a project that works for the end user.

I'm paying to be a fucking sheep, people. Why do employers give a shit about a degree instead of talent? Welp, fuck society for this. You can tell me I can drop it and still get a good job, it'll just be harder. That's the fucking problem. I can't get a job if these incompetent fucking bastards will throw out my resumé the moment they see "self-taught."

If we could hire based on GitHub contributions, I think many of us here would be relatively better off. Programmers program, not socialize. We do socialize, but in our own little groups. We team up as needed. The moment the jackass in HR realizes that, the better off we'll be.

Sorry, just the way I'm seeing shit right now. I'm going through some OCD-induced depression and this might be a result of that, but I'm passed the point of giving a fuck.

How do you milk sheep?
Put an apple logo on it!

I thought my project's colleague were different from everyone else. I was wrong. Just another sheep like all the others. Last week he took credit for my work. And I think he even believed in what he was saying. He was talking to our supervisor saying he solved the error, all happy, but it was me...
Two weeks ago we went on a night out and, drunk, he said that one of the supervisors asked him if he wants to go to team leader, become a senior. He knows 10% of what I know! I'm always helping him and I will not continue doing his work!
Should I find another job?
I told my supervisor and the director I was going to stay, but I don't think I want to, if they put him as a senior while I am a junior.

"What kernel version do you use?"
"Hurr durr I'ma sheep!!"

Some mother fucker parked his car in my parking lot...and it's lying there for more than 2 weeks...

I wish I was one of those brain dead sheep that study hard, fall in love, take selfies, get a job , go clubbing, get married, attend cocktail parties and make more brain dead sheep....

Major state insurance provider, all past and current members data stored unencrypted (including SSN, date of birth, home address, etc.). All developers and contract developers had read access to it. Reported it, nothing was done. Reported it again in my exit interview. Was basically told they had intrusion detection systems in place so it was not an issue.

I promised a friend to have a look over his dads website to add a small blog. No big deal, I've got it on my drive, can reuse it just need to adapt it to the environment.

I take a look at what I'm working with and I see the most terrifying piece of "Please, take my data" code I could possibly imagine (And I've seen passwords, in plain text in a script tag). I quote "function queryDB(mode, val) {
var query=" ";
if(mode==="findProd")
query="Select * from Products where ProdNam=" +val;
... (same shit for different cases)
sendQuery(query) ;
}

He literally built the query on the client side sent it to a php script (without validation) and inserted it into the database.
You could literally call window.sendQuery with any sql query and get the result printed into the console.
And other than the plain text passwords guy that wasn't some kid someone knew, this was a "Webdesign" Agency.
Now I took the entire thing offline, called my friends dad, explained it to him and try to sort this out. I would not charge a good friends father but that hack will get a quite hefty bill since my hourly rate just tripled.

And the worst thing : If I publicly name that asshole or warn the people in his portfolio I can, according to Google, be sued. (But, and I assume thats vague enough not to count as bad mouthing, if anyone of you has a customer from Rheinland-Pfalz, Germany with a preexisting page, please have a look at the database interface)
I will call that agency tomorrow, ask for a detailed explanation for why they apparently let trained monkeys write their code and anonymously warn everyone in their portfolio about those flaws...

I don't know if I'm cursed or if there are just that many bad devs but it seems that once a year I have to stumble over some "mistakes" that make me question my sanity.

When our company (past employer) got acquired by another company and everyone got to have a meeting where you got a black or blue envelope. One indicated you were being let go, the other indicated you were being offered an "opportunity" if you would relocate to NJ. What was an awesome company -- they destroyed the soul of it in one day.

Oh well their CEO got let go after a US Congressional investigation earlier this year. Karma, bitch!

I hate my workspace

Why is everyone copying Snapchat? First Instagram stories and now the whole FB Messenger is basically a cheap clone.

Do they actually think they can steal the brand-loving sheep that are Snapchat's target demographic?

I am annoyed af...

As I slowly get clarity about this, I realised what a trash place we have created for ourselves and other species too.

I am Product Manager and now the ratio of PM:Dev is usually on average 1:10.

Now when a dev goes job hunting, they apply few places, get some calls, their skills are tested and validated, they get an offer, join and perform tasks that are given to them. No fucking rocket science. Everything can be learnt.

Now let me explain you the fuck up corporates have created for PM space. They want the exact match. You heard me right. EXACT FUCKING MATCH. One should be from the same domain, same industry, have had same past experience, must know how to code, can design, knows business, handles sales and customers, and everything. Cool. And little misalignment and you are kicked out.

What the fuck!!! What about skills? Well.. we don't give a fuck about your skills.

And hang on.. the shit country I belong to has additional filtering criteria of having B.Tech and MBA from top tier college else you are a worthless person not skilled enough to even clean the office toilet.

Alright, so until now I used to think I am retard lacking skills or unable to crack the interview. Turns out I am performing well in job search. Out of 600+ applications, I got ~25 calls and ~5 interviews and ~2 references in 4 weeks. This is a fucking good score. Can you believe it?

How do I know? Well I discuss my failures more than my success and I started talking to folks who too were interviewing and when I said I am struggling and these are the numbers, they were astonished and they said they are struggling through 8+ months with almost zero success.

Woww!!!

I was talking to a chic this evening and she even had post graduation and good brands on her resume yet she is struggling. Another guy going through the same and many others too.

The market is rigged. I always wanted to go into business. I stuck around into Tech and found the PM role. It aligned with business but in tech side so I fucking loved it.

Then slowly realised how everyone just follows the sheep mentality with absolutely no creativity and people just copy each other. The role totally lacks innovation and it's all about building enough to raise next round of capital.

FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

I AM STARTING TO HATE THIS ROLE. SOMETHING THAT I LOVED BUT NOW I HATE IT WITH BURNING PASSION.

ABSOLUTE NO VALUE ADD TO LIFE OR SOCIETY.

I soooo want to go back to my business world or maybe become a simple tester who happily floats around breaking products.

I totally regret not learning how to code. HOW MUCH I FUCKING HATE MYSELF FOR NOT KNOWING HOW TO CODE.

Surrounded by sheeps and everyone has a herd mentality where I currently work.

One Dumbfuck today said AI/ML can be implemented without any database so why are we not considering that option and wasting time analysing data via ML. Fuck me in arse with a rock dildo.

These guys are getting paid millions for just being dumb and other dumbs around agree to him because he somehow has an experience of some client who had an ex-dev who once worked on Business Intelligence.

I am soo annoyed with this culture. When will the system tip?!!!!

I need more freedom, innovation, and creativity to create value and solve impacting problems instead of chasing degrees or valuation.

When the fuck I am gonna get some time for me?.... where is my life?😖

Hey boss,

Here’s a letter for you.
First of all, thank you for the stable job and advantages we have as a small business in the middle of the alps.

Following that, FUCK YOU.
Why? Because of the retarded clients I have to deal with because they’re your friends. Because I have to spend more energy doing fucking politics instead of doing IT. We have people that like t bla bla. Send them, not me.
Close me in a basement with a computer, a bunch of screens, a comfortable chair and a package of cigarettes. I’ll write Google from scratch for you if I need to (not sure I could at all). But please, stop fucking sending me to morons with the same IQ level of a sheep. And sheeps are more clever sometimes.

And last but not the least. Learn to fucking dress accordingly. We’re not in a gay pride but in a business.

counting sheep in easyway

being a sheep over the last years I just recently started to overthink my software choices in terms of privacy. but hell it's far from easy!
just now I realize how dependent I am from all of these services. I mean no problem ditching Facebook for example, it's not essential to me. but what about WhatsApp and GoogleDrive? I'm using these services on a daily basis...
any advices on what software or providers to use alternatively? especially browser, messaging app, email provider and cloud service?
please keep in mind that although I am willing to bring sacrifices I by no means want to neither could live like Richard Stallman. so an argument like "sell your MacBook because macOS is spyware" is not that helpful to me - more like what can I do to increase my privacy within the boundaries given to me. I have to find some sort of compromise. so curious about your advices, stories and opinions right now!

If every car in the city does have a license plate but this one particular car doesn’t, it’s not anonymous, it’s easily determined as “that one car without a license plate”.

If every request does have a source but only the CIA ones don’t, they are not anonymous because “no source huh, it’s CIA”.

For governmental agencies to be anonymous they need everyone else to be anonymous so they can blend in.

So they created a network. This network called Tor.

But no, tOr iS cReTeD bY cOpS sToP bEiNg a ShEeP

(I know that you theoretically can be tracked even if you use tor, my rant is not about this)

Broken title for emoji and devRant logo :D

Fuck you. Fuck them. Fuck everyone. Fuuuuck. I hope and dream of the day people become programmable cyborgs or stupidity is spliced out genetically. Or someone invents an implant that disables the vocal cords when stupid'O'meter goes to the red. Or a system that paralyzes the body temporarily as a fine for stupidity. Or an AI that takes over once shit is approaching unacceptable levels. SOMETHING! Some kind of an incentive for the fucking sheep to develop their little raisins. FUCK!!!?!?!!

First rule of programming ......
. .
..
.
If
it
works
..
.
Don't touch it :D

FucKing HeLL...!! Its 3:30 am IST and i am still working on a customer issue.

Xcode is pissing me off:

- Suddenly it starts force quitting every 2 minutes
- Every second time it doesn't know everything and only can autocomplete words that were already in the document
- Playground pages: Good idea, works horribly.
- when I use modules from CocoaPods the first time, I need to restart Xcode and the computer 5 times till I don't run into build errors
- it likes to just throw random errors everywhere and leaving you unable to build anything
- it only copies new files every second or third time into the project folder.

I'm really pissed. I just wanted to code...

I used to code by myself... then came to know about stack overflow...
Game Over !!!

Damn! Linux is so violent

root@termial:-# love
-bash: love: not found

root@termial:-# happiness
-bash: happiness: not found

root@termial:-# peace
-bash: peace: not found

root@termial:-# kill
-bash: you need to specify whom to kill

I have been wondering if there is a way to use social media in a positive way.

Since high school (when Facebook first started) I knew that this social media was a cancer.

From what I know there is no positive use for cancer, and I’m pretty sure that the same is true for social media.

But to be honest, it is a tool that is very effective in manipulating the masses. In fact, it is likely the greatest tool for leading sheep to slaughter since religion. I’m always looking to take advantage of every tool at my disposal.

Tools shouldn’t be seen as good of bad, so I am going to have to accept it is a tool of great power and use it. Hopefully I can use it in a positive way, but that doesn’t look likely...

I've been trying to sleep for a while now. Counting sheep isn't helping because now the sheep have a whiteboard and are writing down answers to fix my bugs :/

Edit: if you were wondering, there is 1 sheep as of right now

When your coworker is having issues with an old ColdFusion app, and says "Nevermind, I am just going to rewrite this in ASP". Yes, he is writing a "new" app in Classic ASP. 😒

Did u know that if a devRant comment gets -1, there is a tendency for a human to follow like a sheep and -1 it too? :D

I don't know how people dont get annoyed with ads on their fucking phones home screen from some weird apps they probably felt needed to install because the next sheep (online or not) told them so.

This is an old one that I have hacked about to make it fit, so I hope it still works..
There were a business user, a B.A. and a developer on a road trip in the UK when they crossed the border into Wales. (This was antevirum, so that kind of behaviour was allowed back then).
They saw a sheep on a mountainside.
The business user cried out "Look! All the sheep in Wales are black!"
The B.A. tutted and said "Actually, all we can say is that there is at least one sheep in Wales and it is black down one side."
The developer woke up from nursing his hangover in the back seat, peered out of the window and said "How do you know its a sheep?"

!rant

I had a second stage technical interview for a job today. I met three devs who prodded my experience and gave me a task to do (design a complete system architecture for registering sheep, I got ten minutes). I think it went well because after the interview they invited me out for dinner!

Feels good! I might become a consultant soon.

Logs: Error on line number 152.
Me: Ok, let me check. F**k, this file has only 65 lines.

Programming vs other subjects.

1. Make Apple only can sell what they actually invented. (No PC hardwares, no open source software or technology)

2. Make a moovie after that about harcore apple fans realizing what their brand really provided or invented across the years while they claimed: It is not a PC it is a mac...

3. A free week to have enough time to laugh on the abadoned sheep

Once upon a time, there was a cup of coffee aimlessly walking around the open fields of Alabama. He then realized he was not from Alabama and joined with his father the Sun.

That, my friends, is the story of the epic adventures of a sheep named Bob.

Basically, Stephen said unto me: "let there not be sheep", yet there still was.

The wonders of the modern world--the wonders!

I really do like chocolate.

What all are the infrastructure related issues you face in your organization day to day?

Parking issues.
Unhygienic washrooms
Cooling / Blower
Internet connectivity
Coffee machine sucks
Broken/Uncomfortable chairs....

these all our mine :( , add yours :D

!dev philosophical

Quality vs Opinion

I have a feeling that these things have always been at odds with each other and now with the constant connectedness it has just become more apparent that most people don’t understand the difference (or even realize there is a difference for that matter)

Let’s face it. Most people have awful taste. They listen to whatever new music their radio station decides was hot. They watch whatever show everyone else is watching. They are manipulated by large scale news organizations...

Basically, most people are sheep.

The problem is that sheep are a dangerous combination of loud and stupid. Giving these loud stupid sheep a platform to amplify their voice is a bad idea for a society, but a great tool for the pigs to manipulate them.

“Frightened though they were, some of the animals might possibly have protested, but at this moment the sheep set up their usual bleating of "Four legs good, two legs bad," which went on for several minutes and put an end to the discussion.”

This isn’t confined to one political party or view, it isn’t geographic, it isn’t based on education, it isn’t based on wether a person is ethical or not...

It’s universal.

You can translate “four legs good, two legs bad” into Agent Orange and his followers chanting “lock her up” just as well as it could be translated into the angry leaders of the modern feminist movement.

In both cases (both on opposite ends of the ethical spectrum) you have the loudest dumb, angry sheep getting the even dumber sheep to chant along, wether it is good for them or not.

Now to loop this back. The problem is that dumb sheep are emotional. They truly believe that they are NOT dumb and that their opinions and emotions are a measure of quality.

I FEEL bad, and you are talking to me, so you must BE bad.

I don’t LIKE this amazingly well made movie, so it must BE bad.

And anyone else who has a different opinion is just wrong. Anyone who try’s to explain the merits of the other side is either my enemy or is stupid.
^^^
Their opinion, incorrect.

————

Now for the tough part...

Most likely, based on probability, you are a sheep.

Yes, you! The smartest person you know. The guy/girl who has a degree or masters of a PHD. The person who builds amazing software. You! Are. A. Sheep. And you are dangerous to the world.

To put a cherry on top.

No, you opinions are not important. Your feelings are fucking meaningless. Your morals are worthless. Your voice has as much value and a loose asshole fart from a fat guy trapped in a deep well in Siberia.

But don’t get down about this. It’s doesn’t make you any less of a person. Remember that almost every person who has ever lived in history has been a sheep. They have chanted one useless, dangerous, misguided, harmful chant after another through the ages.

————

To those of you who try not to be sheep. Just keep trying to get a little better every day. When someone says...

“We do it this way because we have always done it this way”

... be skeptics. Explore the merits and logic of the situation.

And if you are tired of being led by stupid sheep then save some money, build something cool and start your own business.

Just remember, you will always need the sheep. They will be your employees, your friends, your bosses, your investors etc.

Treat them well, don’t hate them, and if you ever find yourself leading a pack of sheep then try to keep a healthy distance from their chanting while leading them down the right path.

They will thank you for it in the end.

———

PS. For those of you thinking “this is very judgemental and self centred”

All I can do is to try to speak your language....

Baaaahhhhh, baaahhhhh, bahhhhh

Which translates form sheep to human as...

“Eat a dick. Have a nice day”

We here in India are going through a nightmare. We have our CS syllabus from 1990s, we still write lab records, and solve 10 pineapples problem for placement training. Nobody really bothers about actual skill or knowledge, are like sheep behind feed. Passion is taken for granted and overruled by the “experts”.

A good education in CS starts from the hunger to solve problems that would matter to people. Future of CS education is in online courses that give out ideas to generate more ideas and inspire programming not as a subject but as a basic need of the hour. People should love the fact that CS is queer in many ways but is very powerful. Basics are important but the education must hold on to what is currently happening in the world.

World will be doomed when we start making students study the same thing what we did, except it is called Math. A subject has to be dynamic. If anybody agrees what I say, spread it so that world will understand what learning means...

Seriously ??? No option to update my user/display name?

When someone cooks bacon in the break room early in the morning and doesn't bring enough for everyone. #hungrydeveloper

Sometimes I can't comprehend how clients rather want a complete rip off from an existing website rather than add some originality

Got my first lambda function triggered on aws transcribe job status changed... Feeling good 😊

Is the MySQL 5.6 deprecated? One of the colleague said but i could not find a date if it is. Even they GA 5.6.44 on 2019-04-25.

Dude in my Calc 2 class just bitched about iPhones having "shitty software" referencing that bug from around ~6 years ago, when a specific iMessage text would reboot your phone. IMO, 99% of what Apple does well is software. UI is subjective, but final cut pro is unbelievable in terms of functionality for its price, their software is so well optimized that iPhones have been able to use comparably tiny batteries and still compete. They are consistent throughout their company with software design, while companies like Google are so stratified it took years before their material design had been implemented in all their services, there are still a few that aren't (not to mention the meme of Google killing off all their projects). I hate tablets, but the iPad pro has the best software/hardware implementation of any I've ever seen. Apple's interconnectivity between devices is unbelievable, whether it's Continuity features or the setup process just recognizing group devices around and pulling data to create consistent account info and saving you taps. Siri is shit, but apart from that their software isn't bad enough that you should complain about that instead of...

Their Macs are fucking pressure-cookers, and their fuckin marketing department is like a different company all-together, and their anti-fix-it-yourself policies are so user hostile that they're toe-to-toe with being as abusive to customers as Oracle.

TL;DR the biggest scam Apple has pulled off is not that the sheep still think Android and PC users are living in 2010, but they've convinced the sheep that they know what shitty software is. At that point they're too many levels deep and there is no red-pill strong enough for them.

Finally, after a long time and excuses....
updated my profile on job portals...
Ready to study ..... Best is waiting....

I figured out a workaround the coronavirus shit and to protect myself in public.

Instead of wearing medical masks (like all the sheep out there), I am gonna be wearing a gangsta-style bandanna.

It covers face and mouth. BUT most importantly it will scare people away and no one would get close so i will be practicing social distancing everywhere I go using nothing but the power of fear and stereotypes.

Im trying really hard to sleep but I can’t. I’m supposed close my eyes and count sheep right?

(Note for dfox: I love this place and i would really like to have all my posts/ ++s/comment data available to me . Current system does not allow me to see posts more than some months old. is it possible? I hope devrant is not deleting old posts)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stream of thoughts coming through

#justAthought 1
If you feel you are mentally unique (Not in retarded or disable kind of way, but having a different view of thinking, a different perspective, not-a-sheep-in-a-herd kind of mentality) , then you PROBABLY ARE, its just those who are not that mentally unique will find your thoughts absurd until you are proving yourself to be a successful person.
Even though you feel something is wrong in a current situation, and you can put some valid points in your argument, there would always come a point where your personal failures or average-ness would overshadow your valid points (kind of personal experience than a thought :/ )

#justAThought2 (Disclaimer: i am no fraud guru or priest, just a 9-5 curious , sleepless student-cum-professional)
I sometimes feel that the only good, meaningful goal that i could think for my life would be : to earn enough money to set up a small experiment environment , where I would initially take, around 25-30 people for 1-2 years. It would be an environment with totally $0 value for materialistic things like money, jewels, property,etc . Everyone is living free of tensions of basic services like food, clothes, house, taxes, work to live etc. Together we all will be collectively doing just these things: Making ourselves healthy , and more kind, spiritual towards other humans, animals, plants and environment, and thinking of ways to eradicate the value of "value".
We have already reached a point where we are generating even more harmful Technology than useful tech, how about changing the way of thinking and taking a small pause? I know a lot of people would be reluctant to do any work in such environment, but i believe one day or another, every one of these people has to come back to their usual jobs , but this time, not for money but for humanity.
Do you think this kind of environment is possible for the whole world? Because today most, if not all thinks that money is the ultimate goal. can we change that, and would that change be good?

#justAthought 3 (Disclaimer : 1. Its my mom's thought/whatsapp status , i kind off liked it. she is super religious by the way ^_^! | 2. more relevant for india/multi religious countries 3. for Indians: kind of thought from movie "oh my god")

There should be a regional law during so called "acts of god"(floods, earthquakes, other natural disasters) under which the donations given to religious places(temples, churches, mosques,etc) would be used to provide relief to affected areas.

I wrote a client facing application, which management felt did not require any user guide for the business was required, but the client received a guide. In short, the business didn't understand how to setup a new client, blamed me that it was crap, just to find out they just didn't set it up right. No one apologized, or took credit for messing up. I know look like the black sheep

Rules and policies are just for discussions and arguments. When you really have a problem on production, all you need a solution without any law.
You are allowed to execute Alter, Restart Server, Deploy some hacks and many more :D

!rant Java web framework?

sorry for the OT, if you are single (novice) web developer and you had to choose your first web java framework, what would you pick?

BEEP BEEP I'm a sheep

Are you looking for change?
A beggar might help.

PS: when i said beggar i didn't mean HR here. :D

PHP is like the black sheep on every family tree. Lots of work revolves around him. It's prone to failure, break up easily, does things in an inefficient manner, and gets all kind of disease. So I'm using other family memebers, C++ and Go, to keep him on track.

Last employer -- a major health care insurance carrier -- had over a million current and former subscribers data in SQL database with no encryption on SSN or other personally identifiable information. I reported this as an issue, and was told that since they had intrusion detection, etc. they don't need to encrypt the data. Guess they have never heard of zero day vulnerabilities or disgruntled employees?

!= rant

Does AngularJS still have momentum. I toyed with it for a while on a side project. Since then .Net Core launched and most of my work (both day to day and side projects has been in MVC 5 or .Net Core)

I wanted to go back to tinkering with that one side project but it seems that some of the hype surrounding AngularJS has died off.

Ok, so i got an epic requirement from business.

Business wants to implement something like this. On a save click this popup should be opened with further 2 options "Save" and "Save As" having radio button in front of each button to enable and disable the buttons and input boxes and obviously error/success message should be
displayed according to the option selected.
Team denied to work on the requirement.

!==rant

Are there any good cloud-based IDEs that:

1.) Supports C# (ASP.Net Core / MVC)
2.) Would work on a Chromebook

YOU ARE A FOOL, BY USING VISUAL STUDIO CODE!!!

Hating Microsoft is not about how bad is this or that feature because they failed in making it responsive, neither should it be blessed for its new outstanding opensource projects.

Microsoft is a marketing company, they don't have new ideas, breakthrough projects, inventions... no, they just copy the market and make/buy their own replicate of the trending services.

THAT IS SLOWING THE PROGRESS OF SCIENCE AND HUMAN IMPROVEMENT ITSELF.

Microsoft is just using the cold comfort of today instead of making a change but is also destroying the bright, enthusiastic, but poor brains of the modern society.

You are fool by using Visual Code, you are a manipulated sheep, a slut which innevitable follows the propaganda of the enemy of progress.

I an not going to stand here and support my enemy, I delete Visual Code.

Going forward everything will be built on js and we won't be carrying java anymore. Whether its UI thing or lambda functions on AWS. This is what the idea floating in my organization.
What are the thoughts here on restricting on a language?