As cold as the water was that night..

- gets assigned for a bugfix
- can't reproduce it in the matter of half an hour
- marks as fixed

JavaScript says to Objective-C, "You suck!"
It doesn't react.

My friend called me for help with her CSS. I was like no problem go to Teamviewer.com and install that software. 10 mins later she called saying teamviewer didn't fix her code. I'm done!

Programming isn't easy at all..
The more you learn, more you gain.

Asks Cortana to tell a joke, and Cortana opens Bing. Made my day, well played Cortana

Oh God!!

PM: Can you finish this in four weeks?
Dev: yeah sure, I can finish that in four weeks
Narrator: the dev could not finish it in four weeks

Previously on devrant
https://www.devrant.io/rants/455085

This little shit is actually worried about her ideas getting stolen.

Do you think she'll pay me in stocks or pennies?

#INB4itsAShitIdea

Boss: "I need you to program tool-1, tool-2 and tool-3"
Me: *creates tool-1*
Boss: "Why did you make tool-1? I needed tool-3 done by now"

Maybe you should have told me that 🙃

Why Linux is better than Windows (jk, it would be biggest shitstorm in history of devRant)

Boss: "If I double-click this button, the modal it opens flicker once for 0.00001 seconds?!?!?!?"

Me: "Ya... It opens two modals. It doesn't break anything, it looks normal except the flickering"

Boss: "It's no good!"

Me: "I've got a solution; don't fucking double click. It's a fucking website."

Boss: "IT'S NOT A WEBSITE. IT'S A SYSTEM"

Me: "It's a fucking website" *Exits room, trying not to strangle the boss".

Woke up early. Feel great. Even office coffee tastes great. Today is going to be a good day.

Lead QA: - Hey I'm fixing some stuff in production, and now I can't reach it. Do you have the same problem?

TODAY IS A GOOD DAY, GO FIX YOUR OWN PROBLEM CUNT.

COFFEE TASTES FUCKING GREAT.

Best kind of change log.

Arghhh, rant time :|

So yesterday I completed a database migration of 167,000 products from an old ecommerce system to a new one. Everything was brought over, orders, customer addresses, everything, really chuffed :)

The only thing the client picked up on was the lack of his spammy "meta keywords" data that I intentionally did not import. I mean the tag isn't used and a list of 40 comma separated random words you'd like to rank for isn;t going to help the sites SEO on bit.

Anyway, the client is now moaning a lot and insisting I add them in. Even after I explained that the meta keywords is gone for good reasons he insists on keeping the data.

Soooo, pointless :|

(note the tags for the sake of satire :) )

!rant
Saw many people share their setups, so here's mine right now.

Techy name? Check.

Word which ends with "er" but scrap the E? Check.

A .io domain? Check.

This is a hipster app.

Shakira as a programmer : Heaps don't lie

As much as I hate sport and love sitting at home at my pc
I'm gonna try to run a bit every day

I mean, it's told to be good for you

(so far, I started running around the "block" 2 times, I don't think it counts as much, but hey, gotta start somewhere)

Unsubscribe link on an email results in 403?? WELL FUCK YOU TOO, ASSHATS!

Teaching php to noobs....
type in echo 'hello world'
Go to the browser and run the page
Do you hear the echo?

I know what I'm dressing up as this year.

I love these wires.

Some guy analyzed all the books mentioned on Stack Overflow and sorted them by popularity...

http://www.dev-books.com/

This one made my day. It's so true that almost hurts

Credits: https://tinyurl.com/jg8lc47

Driving to a family friend after work to check his wifi connection issues.

Turns out that she didn't knew about the hardware switch to turn it on and off again... 😏

Just posted my first answer on stack overflow.

Updated description!
Fuck Wordpress in the ass with a new kind of cms. Make devs happy with clean code. And Laravel [more details]

Don't we all love a sophisticated chat bot?

2 things I can not understand.
1)how my programming works.
2)what the fuck this new update of what's app about??? A status? fuck!

Worst update ever. Fuck I can not handle videos and photos of people who sends useless messages. Fuck!! 😫😫😫😫