Dear people who complain about spending a whole night to find a tiny syntax error; Every time I read one of your rants, I feel like a part of me dies.

As a developer, your job is to create elegant optimized rivers of data, to puzzle with interesting algorithmic problems, to craft beautiful mappings from user input to computer storage and back.

You should strive to write code like a Michelangelo, not like a house painter.

You're arguing about indentation or getting annoyed by a project with braces on the same line as the method name. You're struggling with semicolons, misplaced braces or wrongly spelled keywords.

You're bitching about the medium of your paint, about the hardness of the marble -- when you should be lamenting the absence of your muse or the struggle to capture the essence of elegance in your work.

In other words:

Fix your fucking mindset, and fix your fucking tools. Don't fucking rant about your tabs and spaces. Stop fucking screaming how your bloated swiss-army-knife text editor is soooo much better than a purpose-built IDE, if it fails to draw something red and obnoxious around your fuck ups.

Thanks.

"Can you put my site as the first result on google?"

I can add SEO to your site, just give me your preferred keywords, a description, and let's make sure we follow white hat best practices etc.

"No call someone at google and ask how much to go to the top of the list"

So you want to pay for ads or..?

"No get a figure I can pay to get to first page"
"Or can you just edit the google"

... And so I never renewed that contract ever again, the end.

Wrote a nodejs script which reads emails from my college searching for keywords like free, food, and refreshments. When it finds one of those it notifies me that free food is somewhere on campus.

Necessity is the mother of invention

"Let's do some pair programming! It will be fun!"

... Fuck no.

Either I start coding and you open a beer, or the other way around. And sure, I do not mind doing each other's code reviews. I respect your feedback.

But I can't look over your shoulder while you misspell keywords. When I write code, I search, try, debug and play at a high speed.

I'm an impressionist/surrealist writing messy passionate functions, breaking lots of things with broad paintbrush strokes before finishing it into detailed perfection. I remember all the places in the code I need to work on, and cover everything with tests.

You're a baroque coder, sometimes even a hyperrealist, with your two-finger 10 wpm typing, writing code strictly line-by-line, decorating every statement with the right checks & typehints in advance. You can not keep two functions in your head at the same time. You write tests reluctantly, but you hate that I barely plan. You plan everything, including your pee breaks.

As a coworker I respect you.

But there is no bigger hell than pair programming with you.

A SEO expert walks into a bar, pub, drinks, beer, alcohol

Arghhh, rant time :|

So yesterday I completed a database migration of 167,000 products from an old ecommerce system to a new one. Everything was brought over, orders, customer addresses, everything, really chuffed :)

The only thing the client picked up on was the lack of his spammy "meta keywords" data that I intentionally did not import. I mean the tag isn't used and a list of 40 comma separated random words you'd like to rank for isn;t going to help the sites SEO on bit.

Anyway, the client is now moaning a lot and insisting I add them in. Even after I explained that the meta keywords is gone for good reasons he insists on keeping the data.

Soooo, pointless :|

(note the tags for the sake of satire :) )

For my passionate coders out here, I have some tips I learned over the years in a business/IT environment.

1) Don't let stupid management force you into making decisions that will provide a bad product. Tell them your opinion and why you should do it that way. Never just go with their decision.
2)F@#k hackathons, you're basicly coding software for free, that the company might use. Want to probe yourself? Join a community and participate in their challenges.
3)No matter how good you are, haters are common.
4)Learn to have a good communication, some keywords are important to express yourself to other developers or customers. Try crazy things, don't be shy.
5)Never stand still, go hear at other companies what they offer, compare and choose your best fit. This leads me into point...
6)if you've been working for over a year and feel that you have participated enough in the companies growth, ask a raise, don't be afraid...you're wanted on the market, so either they negotiate a new contract or you find another job.

I'm sharing these with you as I made many mistakes regarding these points, I have coded for free or invested so much time in a company just to prove myself. But at the end I realize that my portfolio is enough to prove that I'm capable of doing the job. They don't like me? Or ask me stupid questions that I can google in 5 minutes. I'll just decline the job and get something better. Companies end up giving me nothing in return compared to the work I have put into it. At the end after some struggles you'll find a good fit and that's so important for your programming career. Burnouts happen quite often if you're just a coding puppy.

If some of you still have additional tips be sure to post them under here

They really got the keywords on point...
Thank you for making my day npm

They asked me if I could recommend any video streaming frameworks. I said no, but I could google around a little. I found one, sent it to them with a note that I hadn't used it but it seemed solid.

One afternoon, right before hometime, a month later and the day before go-live, I come in, to emails with _all_ the managers on it, demanding that I assist immediately. They'd finally tried testing it, and they had found an issue. No details.

I email back, asking for the actual issue they'd found - no response. I phone - that developer has now gone on leave for week, there's a new dev who'll help me. I email him, asking for "precise technical details" of what had gone wrong.

He replies, "when you try use it, it literally causes the apocalypse." and goes silent. I check the skies, no visible apocalypse yet.

Based on some keywords they'd mentioned, I google and find a known issue as well as a patch for their version. I email it over to them.

The response? "If I'd known he was just going to Google it, I would have tried that myself."

Probably a little OCD on my part, but when colleagues write SQL keywords in lowercase

The gift that keeps on giving... the Custom CMS Of Doom™
I've finally seen enough evidence why PHP has such a bad reputation to the point where even recruiters recommended me to remove my years of PHP experience from the CV.

The completely custom CMS written by company <redacted>'s CEO and his slaves features the following:
- Open for SQL injection attacks
- Remote shell command execution through URL query params
- Page-specific strings in most core PHP files
- Constructors containing hundreds of lines of code (mostly used to initialize the hundreds of properties
- Class methods containing more than 1000 lines of code
- Completely free of namespaces or package managers (uber elite programmers use only the root namespace)
- Random includes in any place imaginable
- Methods containing 1 line: the include of the file which contains the method body
- SQL queries in literally every source file
- The entrypoint script is in the webroot folder where all the code resides
- Access to sensitive folders is "restricted" by robots.txt 🤣🤣🤣🤣
- The CMS has its own crawler which runs by CRONjob and requests ALL HTML links (yes, full content, including videos!) to fill a database of keywords (I found out because the server traffic was >500 GB/month for this small website)
- Hundreds of config settings are literally defined by "define(...)"
- LESS is transpiled into CSS by PHP on requests
- .......

I could go on, but yes, I've seen it all now.

When this week is over, I'd love to see the statistics on posts that contain keywords such as Microsoft. 🙃

Devrant client update:

- load indicator on ajax execs
- changed the design yet again, hopefully final this time lol
- implemented ajax content loading so the menubar doesn't flash
- block users/keywords plugins done, only left to find a clean way to integrate it with the upcoming notifications, so no notifications are fired for blocked users or posts with blocked keywords (similar to twitter mute keywords)
- usernames linkifier plugin
- links get unshortened on feed too (via plugin), without losing the ability to press on a post

next is (just to name a few, the trello list is far bigger by now)

- login
- local notifications, should be firing without GCM/FCM too hopefully, which would be great for people on here that de-googled entirely and don't want microG
- port some of my userscript plugins I haven't yet
- theme system
- global and plugin settings
- plugin update system
- plugin import checks for obfuscated code, one line etc. and warns the user
- client update system

Me: I develop Applications.

Stranger: Oh so you are a programmer.

Me: Yup 😎

Stranger: Please hack my ex's insta.

Me: I am not a hacker nor am I intrested in learning to hack. I develop stuff from scratch. Innovate and contribute something to society.

Stranger: Oh, what a disappointment. Why did you say you are a programmer then.

Me: I...~am 😶

For some, hacking is the only programming thing for them. I get message at least once a month from someone requesting to hack someones fb,insta or some account.

Thinking of creating a bot which finds such keywords in my messages and automatically replies to them explaining what I really do. Or just f***ing block them.

I wish people would stop claiming their product is an AI when it isn’t.

Guy on product hunt today says his name generator is an AI. This is how he describes the process:

- first it passes your input keywords through fasttext

- we get a random sampling of the top 100 or so words most related to your input keywords

- the top words are used as the dictionary input to a markov chain word generator, which generates 10~15000 random words

- the results are passed again through fasttext, we take the cosine distance of the resulting word to your input keywords (by using the out-of-vocab feature of fasttext)

- the top 100 most relevant results are returned

When your primary Android app (with over 1/2 million total downloads) gets banned...

And all the email says is read these [links to] policies!

Back story: this happened to me back in 2011, no matter what I did there was no way to get in touch with a human at Google, I sure hope this process has gotten better! Having my app suspended with no way to fix and get it back is ridiculous!! This could ruin a business.

Over two years later, on a Google+ hangout with Google Android devs out of the Google London office, I said to them how silly it is that this happened....one of them asked me for the app ID, I provided, he looked it up in a system which then had a reference code which then related to SEO violation....wow I finally found the answer, how silly that an SEO violation (too many keywords in the app description) can get your app permanently suspended. What a shame. I wouldn't wish this on any solo developer trying to self learn and make something...

Sometimes I really just have to say "Fuck you, Google" out loud a few times.

11:45pm
I better go brush my teeth and do all my other things, to be safely and happily in bed with plenty of time to get a good night's sleep.

11:52pm
I am done doing those things. I sit back down in front of the computer to start closing apps to shut it down.

11:53pm
I get an idea to write a script to more effectively launch my remmina sessions with keywords in my keyboard launcher. It will take about ten minutes to write.

2:07am
The script is pretty much done, and I've done 37 quizzes on jetpunk.

Did anybody of you automate job hunting?

Like Webscraping online job offers, extract adress, keywords and put it into a cv template, set up personalised html-email and website.
Extra perk, a neural network which composes the cover letter.

that i would need.

Java:
Primitive streams. Their need to exist is a monument to legacy failure.

VB.net
OrElse and AndAlso short-circuiting operators. The language designers were too fucking lazy to process logic, so they give specific keywords for those cases.

PHP
Random Hebrew error messages

JS
Eval. It can be used responsibly, but most of the times you see it it's because someone fucked up.

C#
Lack of Tuple destructuring in argument specification. Tuples were added, and pattern matching was added, and it's been getting better. The gear grinding starts with how Tuple identity assignment in arguments is handled. Rather than destructuring into the current scope, it coalesces the identity specification into a dot property of whatever the argument name is. This seems like an afterthought given they have ootb support for ignore characters.

Typescript
This will probably be remedied in the next version or two, but Tuple identity forwarding between anonymous scopes normalizes to arrays of union types, because tuples compile to typeless arrays. It's irritating because you end up having to restate the type metadata in functional series even when there is no possibility for any other code branch to have occurred.

Notepad Forever 😍

Something that really grinds my circuits:

When programmers talk about making their own language but they know nothing about programming language theory.

What most people think of designing a language is actually just replacing keywords.

Dim [Dim] As Short

Why you ask? For the glory of satan of course!

Now this is creative answer for JS keywords 😀

26 or so hours up now. And I've got a few stories to tell :) feel free to refresh your cup of coffee and take a seat.

Last few days I've been going into this odd place called intown.irl to get in touch with its inhabitants. An odd place I have to say. But in some cases quite rewarding, even got a MILF home with me and into bed at some point. Anyway...

3 days ago I think it is now? Thursday evening I took my laptop to this local bar where I had this issue about dihydrogen monoxide with one of the bartenders earlier (you'll find that rant on those keywords). Still wanted to visit it regardless though, as I met that first woman there earlier that approached me. Unfortunately I didn't see her there that day.

Some bald guy who was clearly drunk approached me. Many people were already giving curious looks at this laptop I brought to the bar. I finally tuned it up with the stickers from FOSDEM.. I'll put a picture of it in the comments. My theme was one of privacy (central), distributions and Google's open source initiative (which aligns with the keychain token I got from them as well). But of course.. that guy.. he thought that a pimped/riced laptop obviously meant that I was a hacker.

Guy went to the toilet.. went back.. and suddenly grabbed my laptop and turned it towards him. Boy was I never more smugly satisfied that those rubber pads on the bottom are quite resilient. Could've almost damaged my screen by trying to grab it like that. But it's a CCFL display.. so high voltage. If it were to become broken.. worth it. 😈

On it at the time was a terminal, pinging Google (had network issues at that bar, to the point where one of the - I think - staff members got up to me and offered the WiFi password and got to talk with me.. more on that later), and my usual Linux desktop along with the Arch anime wallpaper with the quote of Da Vinci.. simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. Of course the guy saw the terminal.. and probably reaffirmed.. yep, that's a hacker. At least he wasn't too wrong about the general term.. but the hat.. most likely he was wrong on that one.

Guy left with this question.. "you are a hacker, aren't you."
I replied to him: "No sir. I'm not a hacker. I've got no idea what you're talking about."
Guy kept looking at me weirdly for the whole night to come.

Back to that companion guy though. Mac user, yada yada.. but he told me about his backup solution. Apparently - I shit you not - he has not only the photos on his local device, he's also frequently backing them up in Time Machine (which I was really curious about whether it uses mirroring or snapshots.. he couldn't tell, lmk if you do) but not only that.. he was storing another offsite backup in that very bar, in case his house went on fire.

Now that is a proper backup scheme!!! If only more people were like that.

Seriously though.. that bald guy who took my laptop just like that... I just let it slide for that one time, but I tend to treat my machines as an extension of my very self. I think that was a very uncalled for move. Asshole...

How would you have reacted to such a thing? And.. maybe that's why we technologists don't get outside too often? Fucking everything is hacking these days if it's not Knopkes and Blinkenlights… Not every shell is a h4xx0ring console for h3kk1ng de fasbuk…

Had to implement a search feature for a client so I did and told him to check it out (it was a LIKE SQL statement)

He tested it out by typing in iPhone and Phone (there was an item called iphone in the database) and he was amazed about the fact it worked for some reason.

A real answer from him:
"it's working.. how is it working?
each item is tagged to multiple keywords without the user doing anything"

I said it's just a text search but I guess I should've said I'm using an advanced AI to extract all possible terms related to the item title.

PHP arrays.

The built-in array is also an hashmap. Actually, it's always a hashmap, but you can append to it without specifying indexes and PHP will use consecutive integers. Its performance characteristics? Who knows. Oh, and only strings, ints and null are valid keys.

What's the iteration order for arrays if you use them as hashmaps (string keys)? Well, they have their internal order. So it's actually an ordered hashmap that's being called an array. And you can produce an array which has only integer keys starting with 0, but with non-sequential internal (iteration) order.

This array weirdness has some non-trivial implications. `json_encode` (serializes argument to JSON) assumes an array corresponds to a JSON array if its keys are consecutive integers in increasing order starting with 0, otherwise the array becomes a JSON object. `array_filter` (filters arrays/hashmaps using callback predicate) preserves keys, so it will punch holes in the int key sequence if non-last items are removed, thus turning arrays into hashmaps and changing your JSON structure if you forget to discard keys before serialization.

You may wonder how JSON deserialization works, then? There's a special class for deserialized JSON objects, `stdClass`. It's basically a hashmap too, but it's an object, not an array, and all functions that would normally accept arrays won't work with it. So basically its only use is JSON (de)serialization. You can even cast arrays to objects, producing `stdClass`.

Bonus PHP trivia:

Many functions return nonsensical values. `preg_match`, the regex matching function, returns 1 for success, 0 for no matches and false for malformed regular expression. PHP supports exceptions, so it could just throw one on errors. It would even make more sense to return true, false and null for these three cases. But no, 1, 0 and false. And actual matches are returned by output arg.

`array_walk_recursive`, a function supposed to recursively apply callback to each element of an array. That's what docs say. It actually applies it to leafs only. It will also silently accept object instead of array and "walk" it, but without recursing into deeper objects.

Runtime type enforcing is supported for function arguments and returned values. You can use scalar types, classes, array, null and a few special keywords. There's also a `mixed` keyword, which is used in docs and means "anything". It's syntactically valid, the parser will accept it, but it matches no values in runtime. Calling such function will always cause a runtime error.

Strings can be indexed with negative integers. Arrays can't.

ReflectionClass::newInstanceWithoutConstructor: "Creates a new class instance without invoking the constructor". This one needs no commentary.

`array_map` is pretty self-explanatory if you call it with a callback and an array. Or if you provide more arrays of equal length via varargs, callback will be called with more arguments, one from each array. Makes sense so far. Now, you can also call `array_map` with null instead of callback. In that case it treats provided arrays as rows of a matrix and returns that matrix, transposed.

The year of 2018 is slowly coming to it end, so how about summing it up in a few keywords ?

I start : Bitcoin, Spectre/Meltdown, GDPR, Facebook-out-Linux-in, A.I., Elon Musk, Corporate fuckups(fb,g..), Cheap & Good smartphones

Just a few random ones, hope you come up with better summary:)

In ESnext, private properties are marked with `#`.

Who thought that was a good idea? No really, who thought that was a good idea?

Why not just -- I don't know -- introduce keywords like ... let me think ... public, protected and private!?

Why this:

class MyClass {
a = 1; // .a is public
#b = 2; // .#b is private
static #c = 3;// .#c is private and static

incB() {
this.#b++;
}
}

If this becomes part of the language, no JavaScript developer may joke about php usage of `$` anymore.

Been really busy with things haven’t got around to posting a book in like a week or so..

But I’ll post one today..

This book...

This book, available for free online or you can buy it, written in 1994. But so under appreciated by people for some reason most people never have seen it or know about it. But this is the ONLY book I know of that actually covers this topic.. the only book in existence that specifically goes thru how OOP can be done with C.

NOW hold up before you say just use C++ stop and think for a second.. bear with me.

First off this book is purely for informational purposes and educational use to deepen your understanding of what OOP is actually doing behind the scenes in languages like C++ where keywords exist for these things and you just blindly use them without thinking about under the hood.

This book contains a lot of code and builds you up a complexly library from scratch to make OOP in C... now I don’t take this book literally and this but I have implemented some concepts from this book in projects in the past, and it helps a lot.

Also in my honest opinion If you finish this book, you will be a better C programmer AND c++ programmer, C programming because it teaches you a lot about complex things that you never thought about doing with the language. It proves you can do polymorphism can do inheritance and encapsulation. And it’s not really bloated either.

This books is an awesome book, if you don’t understand C pointers you definitely will after this book.. if you don’t understand OOP in C++ what’s really going on.. you will after this book. After all C++ began as just a preprocessor of C.

Great book for writing reusable, extendable large scale embedded c systems.

Anyway.. rare book of which should not be rare considering it’s free.

I was baffled when I found out my girlfriend Google's things as actual questions instead of keywords.

I know it's fine considering the search has to work with voice assistant, I just thought everyone did keywords.

Me: closes eyes and says to myself how I MUST get some sleep..
My brain: *starts thinking about keywords MUST, SHOULD, REQUIRED and how those are defined in RFC-2119*

Why I just can't get some normal sleep, could it be licensing issue with my brain? 🙈

Hardest part of bring a newbie programmer? Figuring out which keywords to use when you search Google, to get the right answer

Today on "How the Fuck is Python a Real Language?": Lambda functions and other dumb Python syntax.

Lambda functions are generally passed as callbacks, e.g. "myFunc(a, b, lambda c, d: c + d)". Note that the comma between c and d is somehow on a completely different level than the comma between a and b, even though they're both within the same brackets, because instead of using something like, say, universally agreed-upon grouping symbols to visually group the lambda function arguments together, Python groups them using a reserved keyword on one end, and two little dots on the other end. Like yeah, that's easy to notice among 10 other variable and argument names. But Python couldn't really do any better, because "myFunc(a, b, (c, d): c + d)" would be even less readable and prone to typos given how fucked up Python's use of brackets already is.

And while I'm on the topic of dumb Python syntax, let's look at the switch, um, match statements. For a long time, people behind Python argued that a bunch of elif statements with the same fucking conditions (e.g. x == 1, x == 2, x == 3, ...) are more readable than a standard switch statement, but then in Python 3.10 (released only 1 year ago), they finally came to their senses and added match and case keywords to implement pattern matching. Except they managed to fuck up yet again; instead of a normal "default:" statement, the default statement is denoted by "case _:". Because somehow, everywhere else in the code _ behaves as a normal variable name, but in match statement it instead means "ignore the value in this place". For example, "match myVar:" and "case [first, *rest]:" will behave exactly like "[first, *rest] = myVar" as long as myVar is a list with one or more elements, but "case [_, *rest]:" won't assign the first element from the list to anything, even though "[_, *rest] = myVar" will assign it to _. Because fuck consistency, that's why.

And why the fuck is there no fallthrough? Wouldn't it make perfect sense to write

case ('rgb', r, g, b):
case ('argb', _, r, g, b):
case ('rgba', r, g, b, _):
case ('bgr', b, g, r):
case ('abgr', _, b, g, r):
case ('bgra', b, g, r, _):

and then, you know, handle r, g, and b values in the same fucking block of code? Pretty sure that would be more readable than having to write "handeRGB(r, g, b)" 6 fucking times depending on the input format. Oh, and never mind that Python already has a "break" keyword.

Speaking of the "break" keyword, if you try to use it outside of a loop, you get an error "'break' outside loop". However, there's also the "continue" keyword, and if you try to use it outside of a loop, you get an error "'continue' not properly in loop". Why the fuck are there two completely different error messages for that? Does it mean there exists some weird improper syntax to use "continue" inside of a loop? Or is it just another inconsistent Python bullshit where until Python 3.8 you couldn't use "continue" inside the "finally:" block (but you could always use "break", even though it does essentially the same thing, just branching to a different point).

The only time I feel like a true programmer is when I geek out in C++

You know what would be nice? Being able to Google anything to do with VPNs without having like 90% of the results being links to how-to-setup-VPN-client pages from every goddamn obscure commercial VPN provider in existance.

If I wanted to know how to setup a VPN client to work with Crazy Dave's House-o'-VPN-n'-Cloud-Hosting's paid-for service, I probably would have Googled for that, not general things like "openvpn ethernet bridging". Why am I getting so many commercial results? Either nobody sets up their own VPNs, or the VPN companies have SEO'd the keywords good and proper.

Why can't we program from thought instead of keyboards... It's fucking 2016.

Maybe keep mechanical keywords though :)

Fucking A.I. resume filter bots.

As if tech interviews weren't hard enough, I have to fill my resume with keywords to get past a bot! Every damn application and cover letter has to be unique.

And when I get past a bot, a hiring manager replies with "Sorry, you seem to have more experience with Typescript than JavaScript, and we can't take that risk."

It's the same.damn.language.

Yes, I spend my spare time with C and Python. Why does that say "unsuitable candidate" instead of "versatile"??!!

$#*%!?&@ tech industry.

Take your "Good luck with your future endeavors" and stuff it up your ass.

I used to work with a teacher in my last uni year.

The job consisted on doing a kinda-like management system for a business. It all began kinda "right", we agreed upon a price for 6 months of my work (a very lowball price, but it was just right because I was learning stuff that we were going to be using).

Fast-forward first six months, all I do is code frontend, mockup screens and whatsoever because this "business" hadn't give us proper requirements (Yeah, I told him to ask for them, but nothing came through).

So I was like well, I'll keep working in this project because I really want to finish it. Sidenote: I was doing all the "hard work", he didn't know how to code, and he calls himself a teacher... wtf).

Months go by, and a year goes round, in between these months, he spoke to me, that he wanted me that we kept working together, that we could renegotiate the payment (I asked him to give me my payment once the job was done). I agreed, but my uni residence period was coming along and I got an oportunity to go abroad to another country.

So there I was, in the need of money to buy my passport, plane tickets and other stuff, so I asked him for the payment.

Needs to be noted, that the last 6 months work was me doing tutorials on how to fucking use Linux, how to use PostgreSQL, how to fucking use CSS! He told me he would pay me extra for it.

The day came, and I received my payment... the exact amount we talked a year ago, I was like "Seriously dude?", but well, I needed the money and I didn't have time to argue, so we talked a little bit about me helping him and I told him "As long as I have time, I'll help, but remember that I'm going abroad to work for a small startup, so maybe I'll be up to my head with work" he agreed, we nod and then I left.

First week abroad came in and I was doing a shit-ton of stuff, then his first message comes around "Hey, I need more tutorials! ASAP! Before 6PM"

What.The.Fuck. I told you, son of a bitch, that I wouldn't be able to do them until weekend.. and it was monday!

So I ignored it, weeks went throught and my "angry mood" was fading away so I said to myself "Well, it's time to pick up that stuff again", I open Slack and I find a week old message with a document attached, it was a "letter", I just skimmed by it and read some keywords "deceptioned... failed me.."

Sure dude? Was I the failure? Becase, as far as I remember, you were the fucktard that didn't know how to fucking install a VM!

A week went by, and then randomly a friend of mine talks to me through Facebook:

E: Hey, how are you?
M: I'm fine, what's up?
E: What did you do to TEACHER?
M: Nothing, <explains all situation>
E: Well, It seems weird, that's why I wanted to talk with you, I believe in you, because I know you well, but TEACHER it's thrashing shit about you with all his students on all of his classes
M: Seriously?
E: Yeah, he's saying that you are a failure, irresponsible, that you scammed him

That moment, I for sure, lost all moral responsibility with him and thought to myself "He can go fuck himself with my master branch on his ass"

So when I got back to my country, I had to go around in school, avoiding him, not because I was ashamed nor anything by the way, just because I knew that If i ever had the disgrace to meet him face to face, my fists would be deep into his nose before he could say "Hey".

Moral of the story:
If you overheard that a teacher has a bad rep, not by one, nor two, but more than +100 people, maybe it's true.

Good thing my friends and others know me well and I didn't have repercutions on my social status, I'm just the guy that "fucked up TEACHER because I had the right and way to do it"

What's the funniest combination of commands/keywords/variables you've seen?

I'm a big fan of "man touch" 😂
Also, a colleague named an instance of System.Threading.SemaphoreSlim to Fatboy (Fatboy Slim, get it? 😏)

Let's hear it!

edit: tounge twisters are also welcome

Stories from Gary #000

Short background info:
So I'm working as a game dev for 3 years now and by now I can say that I've seen some shit. Mostly because of one of our game designers, let's call him Gary.

So Gary, from here on called GDG (Game Designer Gary), is a regular game designer (GD). His job is to come up with new game ideas, commission the assets, make sure that translations are done, etc. - simply put, he has to get a lot of shit together before we can start working on a new game.

Would be no problem at all if GDG wasn't lazy as shit and would work for once in his life. No dev really wants to work with him anymore, since he's known for calling a game or any issue "ready for development" even if half the assets or specs are still missing.

Let's move on to a particular situation that happened a couple of months ago.

I had an issue assigned to me, which was about implementing the translations for a new game. As I read the issue and checked if everything I needed was given, I noticed that the most important part was in fact missing - the keywords for the translations.

-.-

So, I called GDG and asked where I could find the keywords, to which he responded "Oh, I'm working on them right now... and by the way I got a weird bug with the translation program. Can you come check it out?". Sigh. I went over to his office, rambling about how I should be able to help him with a program I rarely use and which was written ages ago.
As soon as GDG saw me coming roundbthe corner, he started explaining how the keywords aren't ready yet, since the program to create translations and their keywords won't let him name a translation.

"I can create new translations, but I can't assign a keyword to them."
"Okay, show me what you did", I told him, eager to leave.
He started to type the keyword, which turned out to be huge ass long and immediately I noticed a little counter, like "x/50", directly beneath the text field started to count up with every new character GDG typed. See where I'm going with this? HE WASNT ABLE TO RENAME A TRANSLATION BECAUSE HE WAS TOO LAZY TO FUCKING READ AND CONCENTRATE FOR ONCE. Sorry for that, but even thinking about it gets me angry again.

To some this might sound like nothing, but it really got to me at this point. Maybe it will become more understandable as I post more GDG stories.

tl;dr: A 40 something year old man, who's been working in his job for over 10 years wasn't able to use a program which he daily uses and asks me for help, only to find out he's a complete dipshit.

Back when I used be a junior fresh out of school, my senior used to say, when releasing a first version or a major version of any software, app or website always implement easy to fix bugs.

End users or clients, especially the ones that tasked you with the creation of it, will look for a bug until they find one, if it isn't one you will spent hours trying to figure it out, instead give them one.
You know how to fix it and the client is satisfied they found one.

To this day, i still do that, although mostly not even aware of it. Eg: I know that's a bug but i'll fix that when (not if, when) they complain about it.

I even find myself telling the juniors, i develop with, giving them similar if not the same advice.

And that is what experience means, skill is something they teach you in school.
Experience is what makes you a senior or a junior, not your level of skill or the amount of keywords on your Linked In profile.

Please, please for the sake of your born/unborn child, check whether the names of the entity attributes are not valid sql keywords.

There needs to be a class in schools before college called: "how to use a search engine" (HTUASE)

This alone would save countless frustration with people who won't have an f-ing clue and post on professional forums dumbshit questions. I often take the time to even provide the search engine keywords I use in an effort to get these people to think for themselves. I fully expect someone to respond back some day and say: "How you google dog?"

I just had a boys-out night with my son. Went to some restaurant, found a parking spot in a confusing parking lot (half is more expensive than the other half of the lot, not sure which fee applies to the middle row... confusing), started paying for parking with the app (pays every 15 minutes until stopped).

Went inside, ordered a pizza, some ice cream. Chatting, playing, eating, having fun,... An SMS comes: "You have outstanding fines" and a link to the gov taxes' website.

wtf.. I must have parked in the wrong spot. FUCK! Oh well, it should not be a large fine anyways, it's just for parking....

Click on the link, login with my bank/SmartID creds. Another SmartID dialog pops up asking for a PIN2.
What? PIN1 is for authentication, PIN2 is for Authorization. What am I authorizing...?
Reading through the Auth message: "Paying 2473€ for Boris SomeLastname".

what.....?

Thank God my muscle memory did not kick in and I did not enter that PIN2.
And thank God I know what PIN1 and PIN2 are for.
It would've been one expensive boys-out evening... Even a strip club would've been cheaper.

Stay sharp, guys!

P.S. Later I checked the URL. It used all the right keywords, and it was registered as an .info domain. It was somewhat off, but gov websites trying to be lean do sometimes use some weird ass domains.

When my mom died in 2014, I was shocked to find that her profile on Facebook was suddenly changed to “memorial” mode and therefore I was no longer able to log into it. (If you’re tempted to tell me I’m dumb for using it, I don’t disagree, but save it for another thread...she and I kept in touch over FB because it was easier for her to manage.)

I think it was triggered by their monitoring of things and seeing keywords like “funeral” and “passed away” associated with her account, then having a person on their end change its status. Or something like that.

What I hadn’t known about (or I would have used it) was the legacy contact setting where she could have set me as the contact so I’d have at least a little access and control. But because of their strict policies, I’m forever locked out.

I get why they need to do this (to avoid fraud and impersonations) but the fact that there are zero documents or proofs I, as the executor of her estate, can provide that Facebook will accept to make an exception seems unnecessarily severe.

Anyone else experience this? Known workarounds?

I don't know what to chose.

The fact that for three months, I had to design a 16-page catalog, when I have no experience and my job is web development;

The fact that I have to do SEO for the site, but that means for my boss that for a one-page long text, we have to find at least 60 (sixty! ) times the occurrences of the keywords;

The fact that when I finally have something interesting to do, the boss finds that it doesn't go fast enough and decide to drop the project even if making a whole new dynamic stock system with the db we have is something hard and long to do;

The fact that when I come to work five minutes late, my boss is at the verge on screaming on me, even if I come ten minutes early every other day;

The fact that when I'm coding, I need concentration, I don't need the boss to give me the phone to answer customers, stop everything I am doing and explain them what products we are selling;

The fact that I am paid the minimum wage for a trainee, and when there's no coffee anymore, we have to buy some ourselves because "you drink way too much coffee, you understand" (three a day, sorry for wanting to stay awake);

The fact that I have asked for one year how many days of vacation I still had, and the only answer they gave to me yet was: "Oh, we have to ask the accountant". I still don't know how many days I have left;

The fact that the site is made only by trainees since the beginning, so circa 2008, and the code is horrible but "it works, so don't touch it". The admin part is in CodeIgniter, the front in laravel 4.2, there are a lot of useless code but we can't touch it because the boss doesn't think it is worth the time.

I almost made a burn-out last year, my doc saw my state right before and made me stop for a week. I still have to work there 'till end of august, then I will have my diploma and find another company to work with. Now, I check everyday on my calendar.

Encapsulate tasks
To abstract your case,
Full of the catharsis
And exceptions to face.

Didn't commit, oh wait,
More trouble? One reset.
We return and all hail
This programming mindset!

A great use of machine learning would be letting me mute pictures of certain things on social media. Such as:

1. your dinner
2. images of text that contain my muted keywords
3. well, anything that isn't a cat or computer graphics, really

Australian translation of Gherkin keywords

Do you think the keywords used by git (or other version control systems) are intuitive?

I'm talking to a very junior dev about git and I find myself having to explain around the fact that I don't feel the keywords are great. They are asking good questions like
* Why do you say "push the commit" but then say "make a pull request" - when I want to push why isn't it called a "push request"
* "Why are the metaphors sometimes related to trees (branches), sometimes roads (forks) but you still call it "master" instead of tree trunk or main road?
* Why do you call it "commit", what kind of commitment am I making?

Visual Studio circa 2002. The academic version came with posters printed with rows and rows of keywords.

Hey, I need ideas. Keywords: DIY, IT cabinet, cooling. I hope I'll catch your eye :)

So I'm doing my apartment renovation. Complete renovation, 100% everything is remade. Soviets did a lot wrongs but one thing they did I like - storage compartments below ceiling (like double ceiling.. does it have a name in English? I often see them in garages). So I tore down the old compartment and created a bigger new one. I've moved some of my IT devices up there: router, switch, raspberry, etc. Now... it's okay while it's autumn-winter, it's bearable up there. I'm worried temperatures might get very high during summer.

Compartment is not that big, smth 1m x 2 m x 0.5 m.

Any ideas for cooling? I could set up a vent fan to circulate air but it's hardly a cooling. Also not very effective. A/C is not an option as the compartment is too far away from outter walls. Also A/C might be somewhat overkill :) 5 minutes ago I've remembered I had an in-car portable fridge-like thing that could keep drinks decently cooled during summer. I'm wondering whether it would work? Any ideas where could I get this cooling mechanism (what to even google for? :) )?

Is there anything better in the market? DIY? I'm not willing to spend a fortune for this idea (one more reason A/C is an overkill)

My most productive is honestly when I'm on a caffeine high (my personal favorite is a 24oz NOS). I have pulled all-nighters. Accidentally.

But getting INTO the mood for programming is simple and kinda embarrassing. I get excited by seeing programming keywords in real life. For example, at a job I worked at, there was a whiteboard what had the word "include" on it forever. Not about programming at all. But every time I saw it I was reminded of c/c++ and it made me wanna do some code. I don't know why I'm like this.

Being a dev you sometimes need to add some keywords to your google search :-|

Holy meta info, Batman!

Adobe's ExtendScript toolkit is abyssmal. I find posts from 2008 referring to issues that have not changed even in CC2017. Do you think they are small issues I'm bitching about? I'll list 2. First, the toolkit only colours "var, return, for, foreach" and a bit more keywords and the strings, of course you can set up color schemes but those are limited and not colouring stuff. The second issue is auto-complete, it rarely kicks in and suggestions have 0 connection to what are you doing and are always the same. It doesn't recognize anything of what are you doing.

Probably in 2008 you had to program with the manual near you like writing assembler, now there's an improvement in 2017, they got a window named object browser or something like that that actually is a summarised portable manual that could've been easily transformed in auto-complete suggestions.

Adobe writes about this and I quote: "a complete integrated development environment". Although I will not write much scripts in it, I need to write a big one and thought about extracting that object data and putting it in a more capable javascript editor. LO and Behold what I discovered, the ExtendScript Toolkit that's supposed to edit Extended javascript and save it as jsx or jsxbin is almost completely (it has some dlls too) built using around 100 jsx files. It's the equivalent of building a js IDE to edit js.

Sorry for formatting, I'm on mobile, I tried.

Applying Occam's razor and I might be wrong..

Hiring a candidate and job hunt, both are fucking exhaustive process.

We, as a human race, have aimed for Moon and Mars but are unable to solve the problem at hand which can save millions of hours each year reflecting in immediate cost savings.

Here's my (idealistic) solution:

A product to connect job seekers and recruiters eliminating all the shitty complexities.

LinkedIn solved it, but then hired some PMs who started chasing metrics and bloated the fuck out of the product.

Here are some features of the product I am envisioning:

1. Job seeker signs up and builds their entire profile.

2. Ability to add/remove different sections (limited choices like certifications, projects, etc.), no custom shit allowed because each will have their own shit.

3. By default accept GDPR, Gender Identity, US equality laws, Vetran, yada yada..

4. No resume needed. Profile serves as resume. Eliminate the need to build a resume in word or resume builders.

5. Easy updates and no external resume, saves the job seeker time and gives a standard structure to recruiters to scan through eliminating cognitive load.

6. Recruiters can post their jobs and have similar sections (limited categories again).

7. Add GDPR, Vetran, etc. check boxes need basis.

8. No social shit. Recruiters can see profiles of job seekers and job seekers can see jobs. Period.

9. Employee working in Google? Awesome. Will not show Google recruiters thier profile and employee such job posts.

10. No need to apply or hunt heads. System will automatch and recommend because we are fucking in AI generation and how hard it is to match keywords!!

11. Saves job seekers and recruiters a fuck ton of time hunting the best fit.

12. This system gets you the best job that fits your profile.

Yes, there are flaws in this idea.

Yes, not all use cases are covered.

Yes, shit can be improved and this is hypothetical.

But hey! Surely doable with high impact than going on Moon or Mars right now.

Start-up world has lost its way.

There's plenty of literature about how to emulate classes and interfaces flawlessly in JS even without es6, but no, let's make a separate language using 20 extra keywords and several unnecessary concepts called TypeScript with its own compiler.

What do you guys do, if you don’t know which keywords to google for your particular problem ?

Wish me luck, I tried to ask on Stackowerflow.
If I’m not responding later, send help!

UX-wise, it should be absolutely forbidden to alter anything that is being overlapped by the cursor.

One example is the (mostly) terrible search in Windows 10. I have a tendency to use the keywords "fire" for either Firefox or Firefox Developer Edition. Sometimes, Windows will give me Developer Edition as the top result, which is fine. But as I I'm about to click the icon, Windows will find the other Firefox and place it as the top result.

This is known as terrible UX. The user interface is working against the end-user.

Teach things properly, most teachers are confused and they start throwing keywords at even more confused students who then have no clue what they are doing and they then ask me to do their work for them showing me their unindented(well... kinda, they all seem to fight with the IDE, which is trying to properly indent their mess, for some reason), teachers think that Turbo Pascal is the way of life and that it is used everywhere(one teacher tried to tell me that Pascal is used in the stock market and in modern operating systems - U wot m8?! how high are you right now) and they don't teach user input sanitization and type checking, they stare at you like you are the fucking satan when you dare to use objects, collections and abstraction because they are scared to death of that stuff... and then they think 60 minutes is enough to teach HTML, CSS, JS and PHP in one go(which they even don't know properly - the teacher that made and maintains the school's website is probably stuck in 1998 judging by the design and functionality of the website and his clothes) and they then send absolutely clueless students to compete in a web design competition (and then they get angry at the judges for giving the students 0 points)

"Where Python might boast that there's "one and preferably only one way to do something", Ruby relished expressiveness and subtlety. Where Java championed forcefully protecting programmers from themselves, Ruby included a hanging rope in the welcome kit. Where smalltalk drilled a purity of message passing, Ruby accumulated keywords and constructs with an almost gluttonous appetite."

Don't use keywords as variable names, you're going to have a bad time.

porting a script that supports barewords to something that doesn't....

string up = "up", down = "down";

if(position === up)

its all well and good until you find someone copyies and pwastes that to have in every function

string up = "up", down = "down";

if(position === up)

string up = "up", down = "down";

if(position === up)

string up = "up", down = "down";

if(position === up)

then imagine a much larger dictionary. Also there was a spelling mistake, several in fact.

also who rewrote the parser to try to support keywords as variables?

Hey everyone!

Me and my team have been working very hard to create this programming language which people thought impossible to make. After years of work/research and hard-work we are now announcing the first beta release of this programming language. This programming language which we call "English_Code" is going to be revolutionary since it understands any English sentences. Now the programmers can finally code in English without learning the if-else, loops and other syntax keywords. Errors will be shown in pure English and your managers can now understand your code.

Anyway, let us know what you think, and we hope you enjoy!

That moment where you see code of someone who riddles their code with nested if-else and if-elseif statements.

I don't remember writing an else statement for years. It almost always can be avoided (and the rare cases where it makes sense I prefer the switch statement).

Yet I never grasp why people do:

```
if(someCondition) {
// huge nested code block
} else {
throw new Error();
}
```

Instead of

```
if (!someCondition) {
throw new Error();
}
// continue in the normal scope
```

And then we have experts that like doing:

```
if(someCondition) {
if (bar) {
$foo = 'narf';
} else {
$foo = 'poit';
}

// huge code block
if($foo == 'narf') {
if(yetAntherCondition) {
// huge code block
} else {
throw new Error();
}
// huge code block
} else {
throw new Error();
}
} else {
throw new Error();
}
```

Help!

If ever was to design a programming language, I'd forbid the `else` and `elseif` keywords. I have yet to find an instance where I could not replace some `else` by either a guard or an early return or introducing some polymorphism.

learning a different language can be difficult sometimes. since i already know other languages, i get them mixed up. putting semicolons, putting spaces even though i shouldnt, putting parenthesis or even forgetting some keywords because in another language, its not necessary. makes it difficult to adjust to the new syntax. but the fun part of learning is having more knowledge and experience.

Our team uses story format titles for JIRAS like As a ..., I want...

But in our git repo, a lot of people create branches using the same name:

{JIRA-ID}-as-a-...

And I'm always like why the fuck can't you take 5s to name your branches more descriptively? I usually name mines using some keywords from the Jira Title

But wondering now what do you all think/do?

You know what's worse than being stumped on a very precise development problem? Typing out all the keywords for the problem into a search engine, pressing F5 to "run" your search out of habit then needing to type it all out again when the page finishes reloading...

Why did we move away from CLIs?

I wonder if there's been any research into wether memorising keywords is more of a load than remembering where to point and click. But to be fair, once the foundations are there, GUIs can be pretty intuitive.

I'm not sure what I'm talking about anymore.

So, for the last year or so, we've been playing with a natural language A.I.
The goal was to predict port, truck and rail service disruption due to social unrest.
The trick here is that our AI would "read between the lines" of today's news articles and spit out keywords that were likely to appear in near future articles, thus giving us an early warning before some union or army start blockading roads.

It... did not work as intended. But some very weird results came out.
Apparently, we made a robotic "kid that screams that the emperor has no clothes", yielding unlikely (but somewhat expected) keywords when fed collections of articles.

We gave it marketing content about our company. It replied "high suicide rate".

Math is like a language syntax. You understand the meaning of needed symbols and keywords, then you can write it the way you want.

Physics is like a framework. You have to understand how problems can be solved using patterns someone else thinks is the best way.

This is what I think when I should be reading for the big test of physics and math for upper secondary school.

Idk but i think i have the inability to ask a question on stackoverflow. Whenever i come across a specific problem my first instinct isn't to ask stack. It's to research, research and research. Then i go ahead to ask to those iknowsomuch pricks.
Do i enjoy it? No, i do it because i fucking need to.
So, stop shoving the fucking rules or policies or whatever the fuck it is on my face and answer the damn question if you know it. If not, fuck off. I hate it when they mark it as duplicate. Like are you actually serious. I've gone through the whole fucking internet including stack, searched the damn problem in different keywords, tried all the solutions for the related questions and problems and that's what you come up with. Label it as a duplicate or not descriptive enough. Oh just seriously fuck off with your "oh i have some admin capabilities let me use it on random shit". These are the people where they have no authority on anyone or led anyone or any team in their shitty lives yet act like a dickhead when someone in need of help comes to them. Oh you piece of shit, just fuck off. You miserable cunt.

ok this may look like a lazy ass beginner crying out for spoon feeding( which it kinda is), but i want some real industrial training in non documented Android coding.

For last 2 years i have been reading tons of Android articles and documentation on "how to use this library", "how to add this feature", "what this function of this class does", but not much about how to use it efficiently, like the way its used in industry.

When I interned with a startup, all they wanted from me was to push new design changes, fix layout bugs and work as fastly as i could. I had no time to understand their core code, which had so many things that i could have learned : those mvp/mvvm design/architecture patterns, dependency injections, kotlin , coroutines, state management designs, data bindings, eventbuses and handling, and VIPER,RIBS (I mean, not everything was particularly in their code, i picked up a few keywords from here n there)... a lot of stuff that is used by many apps for their codebase.
I can read up these stuff by myself, but i always end up feeling bored coz frankly, i got no big/valuable project to implement it upon and feel excited about it. I feel that open source projects from OSS companies could be my window, but their chat spaces are also mostly empty to discuss/get some guidance.

I want some specific training about these. Can you guys provide any online/offline course/company training/books in this subject, the best practices?

So yes, Microsoft is scanning my emails for keywords. I tried to send an email using the word PFA and did not attach any file. It gives a pop up to attach one.

Note: I have deleted my previous version of this question as I found it lacking crucial information and therefore being prone to misunderstandings.

Question : In C/C++ you can position the keyword 'const' either left or right of the left-most type specifier. Which variant do you prefer?

I ask that because I'd like to hear your opinion. Although I have been working with C over three decades now, I only learned this a couple of years ago. After some experimentation I decided for myself, that I like the placement to the right more. Although the positioning to the left is taught in literally every book and course, the original placement suits me better.

One reason, of many, is the listing of many member variables in structs or classes. To have them nicely aligned, I always had to put 'const' either on the previous line or put in extra indention to everything non-const. That was quite irritating sometimes.

Another, and my main reason is, that when reading from right to left, the rhs variant just makes more sense than the lhs variant. Reading from left to right almost never makes much sense without straining your eyes. But that is, of course, highly subjective.

This is even more so if you have pointers. The 'const' keyword modifies the type identifier(s) to the left. So if the 'const' is (anywhere) left of the '*', the data is const. If the 'const' is right of the '*', the pointer address itself is const. The same applies to references.

Examples, read right-to-left:
int* const i; // i is a const pointer to int data
int const* i; // i is a pointer to const int data
int const* const obj; // i is a const pointer to const int data

The "classical" or "taught" way, that is found almost everywhere would read, still right-to-left:
int* const i; // i is a const pointer to int data
const int* i; // i is a pointer to int data const
const int* const obj; // i is a const pointer to int data const

Not only that the second "lhs" form reads worse, it also looks worse. In my opinion, the first "rhs" variant makes it simpler to quickly determine that we are dealing with three ints, while on the second "lhs" variant, one has to first get past the 'const' keywords.

I know that this is not only a matter of taste, but of course of agreement, too. You can not just go and switch the 'const' placement in long standing projects. That would surely piss of a lot of people. Or even cost you your job.
But I like to know what you people think and why.

Thanks a lot in advance!

Can you name any esoteric programming language that has a minimal number of 'keywords' and its interpreter can be designed simply?
For example BrainFuck programming language.

Back in middle school I wrote the simple Hello World Java program out on a piece of paper in an attempt to figure out what all the syntax and keywords meant. I didn't get bored

I want to begin in reverse-engineering.
Creating or beginning to create an emulator stimulates me. Can someone give me some tutorials, keywords, links to where I should search if anyone knows this kind of stuff ?

Looks like Android studio's artificial java to kotlin converter learned faster to write better kotlin than my shitty brain :/

People from java background, where did you learned to write efficient kotlin code and how?

Where to learn how to write that famous "kotlin's super precise and small , ugly ass anonymous looking code full of keywords , that only work when arranged in a particular pattern and defies my all previous knowledge of oop , java and good practices " code?

I really wish to learn, since android and google seems to be heading towards this beautiful new shit

Webpack? More like Fudgepack 😡

OK sure, I know it's cool to rip on Webpack without taking 5 minutes to understand it, but I really have tried. Every time I want to do anything which used to be trivial with grunt, gulp or brunch, it requires a whole bunch of sorcery and every post I see online around the same topic inevitably ends with something like "that's not modular", "WebPack doesn't work like that", "you're holding your phone wrong" etc. And it's not like I'm someone who is afraid of new or uncomfortable things. I try new languages almost as often as there are new JavaScript fads (OK maybe not THAT often). I use "weird" keywords and experiment with different key maps all the time. I swap my daily window manager on an almost quarterly basis (and xmonad is no picnic as an introduction to Haskell). But what the fuck is it with so many people in positions of influence in the frontend world always taking one step forward, two steps back and an occasional hop sideways when it comes to tooling (and dragging everyone else along with them)?

How did such a turd of a tool become defacto for so many frontend frameworks? Do hard core JavaScripters just really really hate outsiders and want to deter others from their precious as much as possible? Fuck Webpack and fuck everyone responsible for helping it permeate so thoroughly through the software development industry.

An app that gives you just the code segments you need for doing certain programmatic tasks, given keywords, or a simple sentence of what you're trying to do.

During my readings of Nim I found a technique known as stropping.

This gives devs the ability to use keywords as identifiers.

Example:

var `var` = "fucking why?"
echo(`var`)

Can anyone tell me WHY would someone subject themselves to such confusion notion? Mind you Nim has large features for macro programming and the creation of dsls, i have not gotten far enough to assess this, but what other use could you highly knowledgeable lads and lasses think of?

This story happened to everyone, and i am sure that if i search, i will find dozens of similar stories, but the different here is, i tried, i really tried, in a hundred different ways to achieve my goal !

When you are stuck on a problem, let's say, that you have a program, project, website ... and need to achieve something technically weird (or hard) and need some help to save you time on experimentations. The first thing a lot of people do is : Google.com && put search dorks.

But, at a moment, google gets "dirty", you use it so often that he always think to know better then you what you are looking for.

It reminds of "Ted", the movie (for thows who know it) where they asked : "Hey ! Why does google always suggest us to look for black dicks ??"

It is exactly what happened to me, i got results who doesn't have anything to do with what i was looking for !

You can give it a try now : type "semantic web RDF to RDB"

You won't find anything, except results related to : NOSQL DBs, which is totally annoying.

Something else, i once google swift to get some updates, what results did i got ? Taylor Swift ... (musician)

I often get 2 or 3 results from google, which made me thinking that i somewhat reached the end of internet, or that people are so dumb that i will have spend hours trying to figure my solutions, but, before doing that, other solutions had to be tested.

1- TOR : Google tracks his users and uses its algos and bullshits to return results as close as possible to the user's demand (big fail ...) so how about moving to a different country ? DL TOR browser, open, setup, go to US, open google (got us version YAY !) enter my keywords, and, nothing, still nothing, more results for sure, but nothing related to what i was looking for.

2- VM
Pop a VM, launch TOR, use Hidden mode, delet all cookies and stuff (it is a new VM but who knows).
Use keywords (now in UK). Here they are !! my results !!! i finally found some decent results about my keywords !

But, i have the required knowledge to do this kind of stuff, but how about people who rely heavily on google ? they can't change country, clear everything, trick google to think you are a new user, they have almost biased and flawed results. I tried duckduckgo (i love them) but they are not that efficient.

Google says not to anything evil, but they ARE EVIL, miss guiding people, suggesting corrections who have nothing to do with the keywords, or results totally unrelated in any way to the keywords while results exist in other countries ???

Ever since, i don't pay attention to google at all, and started thinking that google's algos are manipulating people, i don't know if it is done on purpose or not, but the result is the same, people have biased results based on their country, on their tag, on their ID, and the recent keywords.

During that period i was cursing google every funcking day, and i am still doing it, too much trackers, too much manipulation, i will end-up enclosing myself in darknet.

Okay Google, the "missing" info is missing an option to include the missing search keywords again. Why do you think I used those keywords in the first place?
Can't we get a decent search engine in 2022?

Next week I'm beginning a paid intership in an sysadmin/infrastructure manager/bit of devops position. My tutor already told me he would give me things to learn alone so we could work together on stuff, and I can't wait for it to begin.
However, in the meantime I don't have a lot of things to do, so I would like to put this downtime to use and start reading stuff.

I already know I'll be doing a lot of Linux (that, I already master pretty well), and also some Active Directory, Kubernetes, and a bit of DevOps. Those are the main keywords he throwed at me during the interview.

What subject would you advice me to start learning in advance ? Do you have nice resources/books/videos on those matters ?

I would have asked to my tutor but right now he's on holidays and I don't intend to piss him off with job related questions.

On a side note : do you have any good and complete documentation or learning resource about SELinux ? I've had issues with it on my main rig for some months and can't find any good answer so I decided to learn it as best as I can and come up with an answer on my own. Since I intend to work in the field, I should what there's to know about it anyway.

As a professional googler (who has recently included the skill on his resume too), I wanna ask you all, what googling tips and advices you got you wished others that you're working with knew?
I'll start with one simple and clear one myself:
Start with a wide search, then narrow it down with including and specially excluding keywords. don't start too specific as you might not be familiar with the language of the subject and the way it's addressed.

Should linting and syntax highlighting be separate options in editors? It seems to me that anytime i just want a nice syntax highlighting extension in vscode i end up with a shitton of linter errors that i didn't ask for... I just wanted to see my keywords, dammit!

How many keywords are appropriate to put in a "skills" section on a resume?

Technically I've played with a lot of tech and stacks, and done tiny one offs, tutorials and independent projects but nothing that wasnt more than a day on any one of them.

Basically im fast at picking up a language and api and just rolling with it and getting something done, even without tutorials or tons of googling. Though I find myself constantly relying on manuals and reading apis.

Is this normal or should entry level be familiar with the api of something from the get go?

I see a lot of people say to game the system just to get your foot in the front door past the automated keyword filters and on to an interviews where the real requirements are listed.

But I'd rather not list under the skill section something I only used for all of ten hours in one or two sittings.

Also is it acceptable to list a "learning", "would like to learn/know more of", or "planned skill additions" section?

Also what do I add for extras? "Achievements"? "Volunteer work"? "Hobby projects?", "past times?"
Is any of this seen as necessary or well rounded?

If it is really just about the numbers I'll just go scrape junior and entry level positions and take their keywords and automatically fill out template resumes to automate applying.

Could even use SQLite to store the results and track progress lol.

I've never worked as a professional programmer, but it's the only thing I ever enjoyed doing for 12 hours a day.

In our class we have one subject where we take notes on one shared Google docs document. To be honest, this may be the worst "teamwork" that I every had to deal with.

• Simply copying the stuff from the blackboard:
• Missing context
• document consists of keywords and occasional sentences
• These fucking deep nested lists
• No quality control whatsoever
--> nobody fucking cares
• What, nobody made notes for this point?
• Any attempt to speak up result in me being scolded
• Be me, the only one not shopping on amazon instead of taking notes
• Wtf does this mean, where's the context
• one line of code without needed context code

No quality, no Motivation, no better alternatives, no fun.

This headhunter even took the time to bold out the hipster verbs like: blockchain, microservices, angular, react and vue keywords and hashtags ...

K thx bye

*BLOCKED*

Me debugging javascript, code testing go code and using python to make everything work together. My brain has started misspelling keywords and creating weird syntax.I get exhausted so quickly.

How to do SEO in the easy way
On a white background write the keywords many times and make it color: white
Use a tiny font-size and make the text unselectable

You're welcome

Sometimes I ask myself how former IT people can become "Bosses"

Boss: We need to validate all links on our site

Me:Okay, let's vrab the response codes and some variations of under construction and we should be done.

Boss: No that only tests negatives, we need to test if the website content still matches.

Me: How?

Boss: Hmm... Just test if some keywords exist.

Me: So you want me to add a bunch of keywords for +-150 links? What about the maintenance?

Boss: Well, those sites basically never change.

Me: Then why do that?

Boss: Well, for when they change.

Now I can search through 150 mostly legal stuffy pages to find usefull keywords only to get a bunch of wrong negatives because the fucking semantics have changed...
+I have to type all that shit. Primarily, I have to type.

Sometimes, switching coding languages can be bad if they are the same "kind".

Found myself trying to use C# concept, keywords and syntax while doing Java.

That can be kinda frustrating when one is your main language at work and the other is just for side personnal project

As free software I guess you have to not be pedantic, but still felt like this was unnecessary when I feel like I having nothing to do with this political change nor will I have the ability or inclination to actively do something about it.

Today we trunkated a table with 15 milion keywords for our search engine. It did feel very scary... With @Jappe and @hahaha1234

why is it that all scripting languages have a disgusting syntax with begin/end/function keywords. anyone knows the reason behind this grammar choices ... i need maah {}

How are you dealing with imposter syndrom and general self doubt?

More specifically on technical interviews, how do I know if what I am saying is reasonable and not just some gibberish of keywords I picked up over the years...

Is there a common style name/popular origin for the style of whitespace in code where you put spaces inside parentheses but not after keywords in control statements, or after function names? (See img)

This is my preferred whitespace method (in most languages), but I don't know where I adopted it from, if anywhere... ;P

!dev !rant
can any Americans here enlighten me, why do US police in movies/documentaries always say "vehicle" and "individual" instead of "car" and "person"?
I know a vehicle is not necessarily a car, but come on, say car, truck, bus, whatever.. isn't it more natural/common?

does anybody here use diaspora*? for those who don't, it's a free (as in freedom) social network and protocol thereof, and it employs a decentralized, distributed approach. you can choose a "pod" to store your data, and search for people and content inter-podly. as a decentralization/distribution/foss enthusiast, i love the project and check regularly, but sometimes i get the feeling that i'm all by myself there, as i have no friends yet and all the content i see is just my followed keywords. (so befriend me, maybe? :D)

unigine sim engine has the worst documentation i've ever seen. it was written in bad english, occasionally did not follow a word convention (i.e. functions doing analogous work used different keywords), most items were just reiterations of function names (made up example for clarification: getAngularVelocity(): gets angular velocity...). i had to use it for my first ever job, and had to learn in from scratch, mostly by trial and error. it's been months since i switched jobs, and they were rolling a version 2 when i left, i hope they improved on their docs.

Why isn't already a Font Awesome plugin for VSCode where you can look up icons by keywords like in their website?
I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be that hard to make AND it would be pretty useful.

Yes, I would make it if I knew how.
Yes, I hope I can one day make it but I have been running on 5.5 hours of sleep for the last month. Not good for someone used to around 7.

Scala lang is hard to learn(not saying that sucks), but first I don't want to learn this language, I just wanted to use some functions for a hobby project and this project I found on internet had all I need so I just wanted to translate it to Python, using an online Scala compiler I pasted the functions I needed anddddd error can't compile it it, because the functions had some extra things that were not part in the file where functions were, these things check for null values(?) so I was looking into the project where these "keywords" comes from and I can't find it, so after some grep in the project files I found the "keyword" I was able to compile it, also I weird thing about this language is that there is no return keyword

So yes I find this lang not that intuitive (for me at least)

A kind of twisted question but what are the features/keywords/syntax you don't want to be in your favorite programming language?

My programming class kinda sucked. Here's why.
1. They taught C++. To students who had never seen a line of code in their lives. The language with 90+ keywords.

2. The teacher. We had to use switch statements to do something. It took around 300 loc. I used an array and shortened it to 5. He took some points away for not doing it correct. IT LITERALLY WORKS THE SAME AND IS SHORTER. This was not the first time I had shortened something/made it more readable and been docked points on the assignment.

3. Commenting. He told us to comment as much as possible, which is not correct. Comment what needs commenting. Not everything.

4. The compiler. We worked on windows with an online compiler. He decided teaching us to set up a compiler was too hard. We used onlinegdb, which isn't inherently bad. However, onlinegdb is based on Linux. He compiled our programs with a windows compiler.

Maybe these are just problems because I've programmed before that, but I still think they are red flags. What do you think?

*me trying to fix the preview issue by editing layout file*
*issue gets fixed by clean build*
*me implementing a new feature as per plan*
*suddenly another issue occurs with the items in recycler view*
*tries SO, no related question and me too scared to ask one*
*trying different names, keywords, ids and methods to get atleast some output*
*checks json and recycler adapter, all fine but still the error*
*hello darkness my old friend*
*checks the item layout again with a microscopic look and encounters a 0 added to layout width which makes 95dp to 950dp and hence no output somehow*
*2 hours and sunday mood wasted*

Consider an API that uses the HTTP path to represent position in a tree that literally represents a file tree with minimal constraints, and GET/PUT/DELETE methods to read, write and destroy the nodes. How would you encode read/write operations to per-node metadata? The kinds of metadata are static and around 4, so inventing HTTP verbs for each of them is infeasible but filtering is not necessary.

Options considered so far:
- toplevel resources alongside a namespaced /data such as /acl, /lock
- magic keywords to the Range header (this is apparently compliant)
- mimetypes such as text/plain+acl
- SETPROP / PROP methods in the spirit of WebDAV
- headers (I worry this may become an immitigable bottleneck really fast)

I'm looking for any kind of suggestion or insight, not perfect answers.

I read the WebDAV specification and I won't even suggest that I'm trying to align with it, the only protocol I'd seen in the past with comparable scope bloat is WebRTC.

Did someone already thought about how color highlight can be better? It's been 4-5 years now that I'm coding on a virtual console that run on iPad with a monochrome code editor. Despite the fact that's remind me the old days when I was 8 years old, that doesn't stop me for coding with it.

I mean, is it really important to know that strings are red and numbers are yellow? How does that help me? They are both literal and behave to the user-content categories.

I was talking with my friend, and he says he likes to know if something is a keyword or an identifier. In C++, a lot of common keywords to define stuff and control the flow are often the first word and easy to spot.

A couple of months ago, I tried Flutter, and the editor can highlight ident blocks and give them different colors, but with Flutter, it's easy to get 10 or more ident levels, Does the color help? Splitting the code does.

I think, there is so much stuff that is more important than coloring the grammar of a language. For instance: knowing if an identifier belongs to which Rust Crate because, It's easy to stack 10 or more dependencies in one file that as better chances of names collisions.

Knowing if an identifier was recognized, if it used, if it's a local, a member, a global, a compiled value or a macro seems more important.

I would like to color block of code that is important or sensible. That will help my coworker about the severity of a particular place in the code.

What do you think?

Anyone ever heard of robot framework? Its the biggest pile of shit i have ever seen! WHY THE FUCK CREATE A TEST FRAMEWORK FOR TESTERS WITHOUT REAL CODE AND JUST KEYWORDS WHEN ITS SO FUCKING COMPLICATED TO USE THAT NO FUCKING TESTER CAN DO ANYTHING WITHOUT HELP OF A DEVELOPER. this shit tests cost me hours each week to fix because every minor change breaks like a a dozend of tests... i dont rant often but everytime i have to fucking take a lool at that shit a start to boil...

Doing some stupid shit-ass presentation on powerpoint. I hate this kind of work, so brainless.

PM doesn't know anything on how to create presentations, each slide has 150k words at size 10, bazillion images with a width of 1x1, and badly taken/prepared. Fonts sizes are all different (still surprised she managed to keep the same font family) between blocks.

And when I tell her that: "well I expect from you to make to make that kind of suggestions and fixing it".

How to waste a brain. Going to spend my whole day on fixing this mess.

Plus at some point she had some keywords and she had the idea of "oh, let's make a word cloud thingy". All of these tools are useless, the only decent one is "PLEASE PAY TO DOWNLOAD YOUR SHITTY CLOUD". Won't pay a shitty dime for your shitty app that I'll use once in my entire life, plus your shitty shit is overpriced.

Today's going to be a bad day.

Hello guys, apparently I'm going to write a thesis about Smart contracts and its benefits for the financial industry. Have you got any keywords I definitely should look into and write about in my thesis ? Just a little community brainstorm here. Would be glad if you could help me a little.

Also, do you think it's possible to fill about 50 pages in 8 week time ? The short time is making me nervous

I don't understand those rants about problems that can be fixed by just googling some keywords..or even the slightly harder ones where you could just tinker with the device for a bit and get closer to a solution/workaround... i mean if it's not a hardware problem then it can clearly have a solution.
my reasons:
1- you use your knowledge for good
2- you learn something new
3- you don't let the tech guys get bothered by small tedious problems

You must be panicking if you're using longer keywords for Google search !!
#myExpToo

Matomo, the free web analytics tool formerly known as Piwik, does not display referring search keywords (anymore?) without purchasing an add-on, which makes it less valuable than the good old webalizer. I should grab my old backups from 2001 and find a Perl script that crawls Apache server logs. Why must digital progress always mean Verschlimmbesserung?

> Use Search Keywords Performance to see all keywords behind 'keyword not defined'. All keywords searched by your users on Google, Bing and other search engines will be listed

for some reason, the async/await C# keywords evoke the image of a child with ADHD running around in excitement shouting "async, async" and letting go of helium balloons in the air, while his father stands in a stiff brown suite and a mustach and every few seconds says calmly (but strictly): "await" .. just killing the excitement

Every one said that in seo just write meta, title and heading and content full of keywords and your website will work but they are wrong i try it all and still it doesn't work.

Help pls

I was asked about SEO going into long description that this is not just about keywords. Get ok I'm going to go eat now let's get this SEO thing going.