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Famous last words:
-"This change was so small, so there's no need for tests. I'll just deploy right away."9 -
Me : Here's my resignation.
Boss : No need.
Me (Expecting some good words) : Why sir?
Boss : Here's your termination.19 -
Arghhh, rant time :|
So yesterday I completed a database migration of 167,000 products from an old ecommerce system to a new one. Everything was brought over, orders, customer addresses, everything, really chuffed :)
The only thing the client picked up on was the lack of his spammy "meta keywords" data that I intentionally did not import. I mean the tag isn't used and a list of 40 comma separated random words you'd like to rank for isn;t going to help the sites SEO on bit.
Anyway, the client is now moaning a lot and insisting I add them in. Even after I explained that the meta keywords is gone for good reasons he insists on keeping the data.
Soooo, pointless :|
(note the tags for the sake of satire :) )
4 -
"Is it sexy when I talk in nerd words? Ie 11....backwards compatibility....fallback..."
My fiancé.10 -
Finding a suitable name for my daughter was easier than finding the words for my commit messages.11
-
She: I want to hear those three magical words.
Me: Um....Lorem Ipsum Dolor...?
We never met after that.8 -
"Never fix a bug which has stayed in the system for a long time, unless asked for. The bug might actually be a feature for the user."
- My supervisor1 -
Words to live by as a developer:
“A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine”
But somehow people(you guys knows who they are) doesn’t seem to get that!2 -
Remove the d from dfox.
Fox has three words.
Triangle has three edges.
Therefore dfox is illuminati12 -
How to reproduce:
human - F**k
process - Fork
Is that skeumorphism of words/sound by Unix developers ?5 -
Hi!
I developed a little script in Ruby to collect some analytics from the rants posted in the last 24 hours!
In the last 24 hours there were...
-193 Rants posted
-Total words in those rants: 8693
This gives us an average of 45, 01 words per rant.15 -
Fuck off you disturbed snowflakes with your SJW bullshit.
I get it, words cause damage, but words taken out of context for emotional self pity is on you.
Ok I expressed my feelings on the matter, see you next year for the next round!12 -
!rant
Something that has probably stuck with me the most and has changed how I think about things:
"If you can't think of at least 3 different ways to approach an issue, you do not fully understand it yet."11 -
"Today my girlfriend gifted me new words"
"hurrah, new things to learn"
"Now I'm waiting for the next new words, I hope they will be as exciting as the last ones"
You couldn't be more right.
Ich liebe dich so sehr~ <37 -
In dutch "google" is a verb. It means "to search something online with a search engine".
So if Im looking something up with duckduckgo its called "googling".
Im fine with changing the meaning of words overtime, im fine with adding new words to a language. But using a company name as a new word?23 -
Unwritten devRant law #1:
if ($day === 'Friday') {
// add important words
$rant .= 'deploy';
$rant .= 'not';
}
print $rant;15 -
Challenge: Make valid sentences using DevRant usernames as words in it. Aim for proper grammer, but don't be extra about it. Anything (😈) works, as long as the usernames are valid.
And..
Go!
P.S no binary or hexadecimal words XD31 -
I’ve found recently my PM gets scared by technical words, so when I need some peace I usually start throwing words around like prototypal inheritance and decompartmentalisation and he nods like he understands and walks away2
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So came across an emoji language the other day. I have no words just emojis http://www.emojicode.org/9
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At the end of the day, it doesn't matter whether you are, or are not, appreciated by your boss or peers. 'git log' tells the truth. The only truth that really matters.4
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idk how to put my stress into words so
ahem
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH1 -
Fucking professors, they think could play ping pong with students. I started my thesis on ransomware but these meaningless biological creatures who is my relator sent me to another one who sent me to another one who sent me to the first professor. After almost three weeks I have nothing done so i switched professor and thesis argument to neural networks (TensorFlow, Theano, Keras, Caffe and other) and now they wants me back and one of them said that he is offended. Fucking retarded, I have to graduate and I'm working hard to do it in september, if you were a little bit interested I could have collect some material to study in august sacrifing even the summer but you mock me, but rightly it's my career and my money, it doesn't care to you. You deserve to get stuck in an infinite loop of pian.4
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So I went to the store earlier today and an autistic young lad gave me one of the best pieces of advice anyone has EVER given me.
“Don’t let the haters stare into your eyes 👀”.
It took me a few hours for it to sink in and I now understood what he meant.
I feel better, enlightened, much more in control since I heard that young lad tell me those wise words of wisdom.3 -
I am so sick of people using emoji's in business related emails. I want to hunt them down and break their fingers when I see it.13
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What does PFA MOM stand for?
We're an international company, we all use English while working. That's all fine and good.
But there's one project manager that throws in really obscure acronyms that even I, a native English speaker, struggle with.
It's "please find attached minutes of meeting". Is it really that hard to type?15 -
Front-End / Frontend / Front End?
Spider-Man / Batman / Iron Man?
The way you type the word frontend is subconsciously chosen by your superhero.8 -
just saw a production level code, all the fucking variables in the code are in capital letters🤪😵😵😵2
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MmmMmMMmmMM yes daddy please keep putting words in my mouth, they're so tasty. The false dichotomies keep me warm at night.
Arguing with other devs in 2020 is a sad state of affairs. Let's go back to the long winded usenet rants by Torvalds et al, where words meant shit and we were civil.3 -
I can’t express how much I fucking hate repairing iPads. Words simply don’t skim the FUCKING surface.
Carry on.3 -
Today we've discovered that our (western) client (or slack? we don't know yet) actively removes all messages if they contain some forbidden words.
Apparently, 'graphql' is one of the forbidden words.
Talk about censorship in the east... right...3 -
Encryption, Data, Servers, Protection, Certificate
oOOO WEE, I use big ear old words so I must be a hacker.2 -
I work with a guy named Ed. Every once in a while I say:
"That's bullshit Ed."
He says:
"Yep" (he always agrees without context)
The other day I asked him if I was saying:
"That's bullshit Ed."
or
"That's bull shithead."
He was amused.3 -
There's not enough ranting on devRant, too many words of encouragement, that's not what this is for!!!!7
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Just have just installed VMWare Player for a school project but had to uninstall it because our teacher was unable to put the right version on our share.
Now my Notebooks keybord driver is that broken that a simple reinstall over the device Manager couldn’t fix it!
FUCK3 -
If a picture is worth a 1000 words then a video is what, (1000 x frame rate x length of the video) words???2
-
Wow, this code someone wrote a while back is really great. Words never uttered by anyone that meant it.1
-
New cringe words going around in the industry..
Staycation and Workcation.
- By geniuses who are working remotely.4 -
random girl: words can't describe how ugly you look
me: words can't describe how beautiful you look
random girl: blushes :)
me: but numbers can...
me: 2/103 -
Reading Python code written by Java programmers. I have no words to describe the horror. CamelCase everywhere...2
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Github cares about spellchecking.
Even the swear words.
(Although "fuckin" shouldn't be considered a misspelled word)
5 -
Staring at computer trying to figure out why I can't read a float from modbus. I swapped the bytes correctly for my platform. I also ensured the endianess of the words matched my platform (byte endianess is not the sames as word endianess, fml). Was driving home thinking about what could be wrong. My mind saw this code:
uint32_t newint;
for(int count=0; count<2; count++){
newint |= words[count] << count;
}
Then I am fuck! It should be:
newint |= words[count] << (count*16);
This was later turned into float. I kept getting values in the 1e-40 or some shit. Now it makes sense. The upper word was not set.
This is such newb shit. Fuck you newb shit I should just know!
Reading more I realized that the endianess of words can vary between devices even though the spec calls for big endian words. Fuck you non-compliant vendors! So I gotta add a flag for fucked up devices. Fine. The pay off is a generic way to add modbus to our opcua server. I want this easily editable in the field. For now it is readonly. So that makes it nicer.
Just a little torqued that I solved this driving home instead of at work. Too close to the code. I think tomorrow I will have my boss review it to tell me of other logical crap I missed.3 -
When writing in a non-development context, I struggle to remember to leave spaces between my words.1
-
Hey guys
Any russian here with patiante to teach me basic words?
Would really love to learn russian, but it's so hard since the written words are different...56 -
I'm so used to using IDEs that I'm expecting double tapped words to highlight other instances of the same words while browsing the web 😅1
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A quick hack that does what the user needs it to do is much better than a beautifully crafted codebase that doesn't solve the user's problem2
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https://devops.com/dear-staging-wer...
What the F#*@&$# %#@$!?!?!
This person has decided to skip using staging, because it doesn't correctly reflect prod!
If that's your problem, than why don't you try to fix it? Create a DB with fake data, make one based on anonymised customer data, or even do it on non-anonymised data (with permission of course), but fix the staging env so that it reflects prod!
This is a devops site (it's literally the name!), and instead of teaching you how to make staging exactly like prod, they tell you to do what caused the creation of the staging->prod system IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!
There's all these stuff like Vagrant that are literally designed to help you as a dev mimic prod, and you just throw it all out!?
"With feature flags, I can safely test in production without fear of breaking something or negatively affecting the customer experience."
Famous last words.12 -
Me :- how many words have I written ??
Is it million
Or it is two million
Word counter:- 100 words
Me:-😵😵😵😵6 -
I NEED A FUCKING SPECIFICATION.
NOT FIGMA IMAGES WITH 2 WORDS. A CLEAR SPECIFICATION. MOTHERFUCKER.4 -
You should know you can write error codes in hexspeak. Here is a color chart for eyecatching illustrative purposes.
2 -
How to sell a useless product
Include those words: #blockchain #cloud #AI #chatbot #machine_learning #bullshit ..2 -
Install Instagram, Facebook.
Utter words like "Gaming Laptop" "Predator" "MSI" while screen being locked.
Voila, you get an ad.
PS: I swear I didn't search for any MSI or gaming laptops in google or even typed those words in recent past.
5 -
Programmers wise thoughts:
Programming is solving a puzzle. Whether you have to piece something new together or change a wrong piece -
I had to solve some issues regarding comments on a Wordpress site.
I noticed some interesting code that an old developer had left behind.
It was an array of swearwords, and an if statement that checked if words in a comment existed in that array of swear words.
It was written in Javascript, everyone; including the customer could see the array of nasty words...3 -
"No merge conflicts, ready to commit."
Such sweet words from TortoiseHg, and it's not even valentine's day! -
So for game dev we need to do a lot of writing. For an assignment we had to write 3 documents.
First has 8192 words, a power of 2.
Second has 3600 words, a nice square number.
Third is 2002, my birth year.
Just found it nice that they were all randomly a nice number. -
That feeling, when your changes almost caused a rollback and you hear words like "revenue impact" being discussed 😨6
-
Samsung Keyboard is utter shit.
GBoard (Google Keyboard) is like a ray of sunshine in comparison.
The Samsung keyboard actually changes whole words to completely different words. It even replaces words with misspellings. No, these were not words I had misspelled before. Tried to turn off autocorrect and keep suggestions. They are the SAME setting. Like if you are going to make a shitty ass version of the GBoard, at least keep the same ability to tweak settings.
In contrast I installed GBoard and was able to disable JUST autocorrect and keep suggestions.
Just like most Samsung apps Samsung Keyboard is utter shit.
FUCK YOU SAMSUNG!10 -
I hate the word "Proactive"
What does that even mean? You add the prefix pro- to the word "active" and you get the same thing! Why not just say active?!
We're talking an active approach
We're taking a proactive approach
See, they mean the same thing and the first version doesn't make you sound like a douche.12 -
The plural of schema is schemata, and the plural of index is indices.
Words with irregular plurals are interesting, stop trying to force them to be like normal words.17 -
By this point, I have read the words "model-free" and "model" so many times that the words themselves have lost their meanings for me.3
-
I have a confession to make..
When I screw up and want to revert to the last commit, but I don't understand the gibberish error text that git shows me, I just delete the local copy and clone the one on the main repo.4 -
BoardgameQL -- An engine to rapidly build a graphQL server for games like words with friends, usable like flask1
-
Developers making up words so they and their friends can win Scrabble... Or get foreign words into mainstream?
Pretty sure that word and definition is korean... Can find it in Webster's online...
15 -
When your boss is hell bent on shoving the the words Hadoop , architecture and Revamp in every 3rd sentence. 🙄4
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I thing anybody will agree. Just whisper these words slowly: "Microsoft. Exchange. Server."
Just no.4 -
https://github.com/enkidevs/...
https://github.com/sagelabs/...
A repository says more then a thosand words.1 -
“A computer language is not just a way of getting a computer to perform operations but rather that it is a novel formal medium for expressing ideas about methodology. Thus, programs must be written for people to read, and only incidentally for machines [including the human] to execute.” (The Structure and Interpretation of a Computer Programs, 1985)
“If you try to make something beautiful, it is often ugly. If you try to make something useful, it is often beautiful.” -Mr. OSCAR WILDE -
Currently working on a distributional semantics database or something like that. The goal is to read natural language texts and construct a graph of words, with directed edges containing the relative distances between them. Then I want to enter one or more words and find all of the possible words which could be used before, after or in between those words, simply based on the previously learned texts. Then I want to find words which are used in similar contexts and build a kind of dictionary that way.
The end goal is to use this to define software or other states and procedures, using natural language.
What do you think of this idea? Can you imagine it being feasable for its purpose? What are your thoughts?3 -
The JavaScript Guy (his words) half joking again about replacing the relational database with a document store 🙄2
-
I like the settings on my phone as dark as the dungeons with Geralt and a torch or the awesomely dumb flashlight from Doom 3.12
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Anyone else have the ritual of searching for curse words in code prior to committing & pushing your changes?8
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Enjoy the lyrics to one of many songs of my favorite band Depeche Code - https://youtube.com/watch/...
Words like violence
Break the silence
Come crashing in
Into my little code
Painful to me
Fails right through me
Can't you understand?
Oh my little bug
All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my ARMs
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm
Lines are token
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Logs are trivial
Crashes remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningless
And less hackable
All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my ARMs
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm
Enjoy the silence -
Fuck encoding and fuck PHP!!!
I'm programming a little vocab trainer to get used to php and MySQL. From an old VB vocab trainer I had ca. 2000 txt-files with words and converted them to sql-queries with a simple python script. When SELECTING words with special characters they become encoded properly. But if I UPDATE words their encoding is just fucked up... The table is utf-8 encoded all the columns are utf-8 encoded. The php mysqli connection is utf-8 encoded. My HTML header is utf-8... WTF? -
3 magical words that every programmer wants to listen .
.
.
.
.
Are.
.
.
.
.
Code Compiled Successfully3 -
Does anyone find it odd that my school's CAD and engineering program can't design a poster with legible words?
1 -
that coworker playing nordic music on spotify without headphones so everyone can "concentrate"... (his own words...)4
-
Resume read and review day! After going through nears as makes no difference 70 applications I have a grand total of 18 fuckwits who refer to themselves in the third person.
Julian has experience working with multi-disiplinary teams...
Danielle found her career path and professional purpose cultivating interests in digital communication...
TOO MANY WANK WORDS9 -
Nothing I like better than seeing those words "No problems have been detected in the workspace so far" 🤠
1 -
Is a picture worth a thousand words?
Super fun data driven analysis based on Google's Conceptual Captions Dataset.
https://kanishk307.medium.com/is-a-...
#python #dataanalysis #exploratorydataanalysis #statistics #bigdata3 -
Things I say at work:
"...and the words 'ghetto' and 'database architecture' don't ever belong in the same sentence." -
Does the word intelligent assume gender?
Some words make me wonder about origin.
I think of stuff like this when I see words like that:
https://youtube.com/watch/...10 -
What will be the regex to include all words concatenated with special characters but exclude whitespaces12
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