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Famous last words:
-"This change was so small, so there's no need for tests. I'll just deploy right away."9 -
Me : Here's my resignation.
Boss : No need.
Me (Expecting some good words) : Why sir?
Boss : Here's your termination.20 -
Arghhh, rant time :|
So yesterday I completed a database migration of 167,000 products from an old ecommerce system to a new one. Everything was brought over, orders, customer addresses, everything, really chuffed :)
The only thing the client picked up on was the lack of his spammy "meta keywords" data that I intentionally did not import. I mean the tag isn't used and a list of 40 comma separated random words you'd like to rank for isn;t going to help the sites SEO on bit.
Anyway, the client is now moaning a lot and insisting I add them in. Even after I explained that the meta keywords is gone for good reasons he insists on keeping the data.
Soooo, pointless :|
(note the tags for the sake of satire :) )
4 -
Tips for using a programming language that requires typing:
Don't.
Tips for using Scratch:
Do.
- Words from our IT teacher29 -
"Is it sexy when I talk in nerd words? Ie 11....backwards compatibility....fallback..."
My fiancé.10 -
Finding a suitable name for my daughter was easier than finding the words for my commit messages.11
-
She: I want to hear those three magical words.
Me: Um....Lorem Ipsum Dolor...?
We never met after that.8 -
"Never fix a bug which has stayed in the system for a long time, unless asked for. The bug might actually be a feature for the user."
- My supervisor1 -
Whoever is responsible for the responsible for the refund process on airbnb can eat a bunch of dicks, watch me spill all of the fluids over his keyboard and then watch me break every single one of his/her fingers.
How the fuck do you dare to keep all of my money in some kind of internal wallet while I clearly need it to get a hotel after your starrated host left me hanging, autoaccepting but then telling me via phone that he using vacation till Friday... Half a goddamned fucking hour after I tried to call him. I want to report the shit out of this asshole, but no I can't because I cancelled my stay.
For the love of God and his creation is it this hard to punish assholes for ruining my new year and making me freeze my hand and ears of?2 -
Words to live by as a developer:
“A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine”
But somehow people(you guys knows who they are) doesn’t seem to get that!3 -
Remove the d from dfox.
Fox has three words.
Triangle has three edges.
Therefore dfox is illuminati12 -
Services/apps and their automatic general sayings. I fucking hate that.
'apping' is an abbreviation for either whatsapping someone or messaging them in general (in the Netherlands at least).
Sorry but I fucking hate WhatsApp and I'm not going to say that fucking app/apping word. But then in general it's confusing imo.
IF YOU'RE GOING TO TEXT ME, DON'T SAY YOU'RE GOING TO APP ME.
IF YOU'RE GOING TO SIGNAL ME, DON'T SAY YOU'RE GOING TO APP ME.
"but I meant that" - THEN FUCKING SAY IT.
I DON'T 'GOOGLE SOMETHING'. I FUCKING DUCKDUCKGO IT. NO, THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING SAME.
FUCKING HELL.18 -
I was thinking about writing a poem generator as a project to have some fun, and I thought about using machine learning to do that. But before diving into it I tried to implement a very simple and basic one, that just throws random words. Most of them were meaningless, but some made sense... Who said randomness and chaos can never generate harmony ? B-)
17 -
Manager: We are hiring a new graphic designer today. Can you get him settled in, please?
Me: Sure, I can do that.
Me: *shakes hand of new recruit.*
Me: I've heard great things about you.
Him: *starts going off on all his experience*
Me: that's great. Let's see what you got.
Several hours later...
Me: can I see what you got?
Him: just putting the last finishing touches on this logo.
Me: is that MSPaint!?
Him: yeah! It's good right?
Me: um...18 -
Four meetings today.
Legal was not involved in legal agreement changes until I refused to make them without Legal signing off. Legal changed several things, leading to:
Project scope changed size from large to minuscule to small to medium.
Details changed at every step.
Despite being incredibly structured and process-heavy, people at this company are so disorganized. 😕4 -
!rant
Something that has probably stuck with me the most and has changed how I think about things:
"If you can't think of at least 3 different ways to approach an issue, you do not fully understand it yet."12 -
How to reproduce:
human - F**k
process - Fork
Is that skeumorphism of words/sound by Unix developers ?5 -
Going through code left by a senior developer who quit.. Dated 2015..
public static T IfThenElse<T>(bool isTrue, T ifYes, T ifNo)
{
if(isTrue) { return ifNo ; }
else if(!isTrue) { return ifNo ;}
Debugger.Break();
throw new Exception("") ;
}
.....
There was a unit test for it well
....
............. Wow, just wow9 -
Unwritten devRant law #1:
if ($day === 'Friday') {
// add important words
$rant .= 'deploy';
$rant .= 'not';
}
print $rant;15 -
I typed "goto the place..." somewhere and later realized that "go" and "to" are two different words in real life.
-
Here's a fun game:
Describe an OS in four words!
Here, I'll start:
Linux Mint- Not Windows, at least.33 -
Challenge: Make valid sentences using DevRant usernames as words in it. Aim for proper grammer, but don't be extra about it. Anything (😈) works, as long as the usernames are valid.
And..
Go!
P.S no binary or hexadecimal words XD31 -
Just try to learn alone.Get fucked up,try to find the solution alone, you'll become a good programmer with a huge amount of knowledge that u can't even imagine.❤️5
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I’ve found recently my PM gets scared by technical words, so when I need some peace I usually start throwing words around like prototypal inheritance and decompartmentalisation and he nods like he understands and walks away4
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Today:
Rando Person: Also this doesn't work, and this, and thi----
Me: Wait, what doesn't work and where? Show me...
Rando Person: Here see-
Me: Stop ... see how that says 'beta' and not to use it?... and how did you find this / get access to this?
Rando Person: Yeah the customer is using it.
Me: For fucks sake.... -
New ticket: Add Feature
description: (will be updated)
Last famous words before the creator went on vacation until app release1 -
So came across an emoji language the other day. I have no words just emojis http://www.emojicode.org/9
-
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter whether you are, or are not, appreciated by your boss or peers. 'git log' tells the truth. The only truth that really matters.4
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So I went to the store earlier today and an autistic young lad gave me one of the best pieces of advice anyone has EVER given me.
“Don’t let the haters stare into your eyes 👀”.
It took me a few hours for it to sink in and I now understood what he meant.
I feel better, enlightened, much more in control since I heard that young lad tell me those wise words of wisdom.4 -
Fucking professors, they think could play ping pong with students. I started my thesis on ransomware but these meaningless biological creatures who is my relator sent me to another one who sent me to another one who sent me to the first professor. After almost three weeks I have nothing done so i switched professor and thesis argument to neural networks (TensorFlow, Theano, Keras, Caffe and other) and now they wants me back and one of them said that he is offended. Fucking retarded, I have to graduate and I'm working hard to do it in september, if you were a little bit interested I could have collect some material to study in august sacrifing even the summer but you mock me, but rightly it's my career and my money, it doesn't care to you. You deserve to get stuck in an infinite loop of pian.4
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LaTeX should have an option to notify you every time you catastrophically misspell words and turn a "six" into "sex"...
🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️7 -
I am so sick of people using emoji's in business related emails. I want to hunt them down and break their fingers when I see it.17
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When I find my self in times of trouble, mother google comes to me, speaking words of wisdom "Restart PC"2
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I can’t express how much I fucking hate repairing iPads. Words simply don’t skim the FUCKING surface.
Carry on.3 -
Encryption, Data, Servers, Protection, Certificate
oOOO WEE, I use big ear old words so I must be a hacker.3 -
just saw a production level code, all the fucking variables in the code are in capital letters🤪😵😵😵2
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I was watching a youtube video and heard someone say the words: ...sending data over an HTTP network...
-
I work with a guy named Ed. Every once in a while I say:
"That's bullshit Ed."
He says:
"Yep" (he always agrees without context)
The other day I asked him if I was saying:
"That's bullshit Ed."
or
"That's bull shithead."
He was amused.3 -
Front-End / Frontend / Front End?
Spider-Man / Batman / Iron Man?
The way you type the word frontend is subconsciously chosen by your superhero.8 -
There's not enough ranting on devRant, too many words of encouragement, that's not what this is for!!!!7
-
A wise man once said.
A little learning is a dangerous thing;
drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring:
there shallow draughts intoxicate the brain,
and drinking largely sobers us again.1 -
When a function that sends an email to recover the password get's this summary I'm lost for words regarding documentation 😂
9 -
I just did the most evil thing which is using two different words for the same thing is my program.2
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If a picture is worth a 1000 words then a video is what, (1000 x frame rate x length of the video) words???2
-
Just have just installed VMWare Player for a school project but had to uninstall it because our teacher was unable to put the right version on our share.
Now my Notebooks keybord driver is that broken that a simple reinstall over the device Manager couldn’t fix it!
FUCK3 -
Wow, this code someone wrote a while back is really great. Words never uttered by anyone that meant it.1
-
https://devops.com/dear-staging-wer...
What the F#*@&$# %#@$!?!?!
This person has decided to skip using staging, because it doesn't correctly reflect prod!
If that's your problem, than why don't you try to fix it? Create a DB with fake data, make one based on anonymised customer data, or even do it on non-anonymised data (with permission of course), but fix the staging env so that it reflects prod!
This is a devops site (it's literally the name!), and instead of teaching you how to make staging exactly like prod, they tell you to do what caused the creation of the staging->prod system IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!
There's all these stuff like Vagrant that are literally designed to help you as a dev mimic prod, and you just throw it all out!?
"With feature flags, I can safely test in production without fear of breaking something or negatively affecting the customer experience."
Famous last words.12 -
I'm so used to using IDEs that I'm expecting double tapped words to highlight other instances of the same words while browsing the web 😅1
-
Github cares about spellchecking.
Even the swear words.
(Although "fuckin" shouldn't be considered a misspelled word)
5 -
Connected a keyboard to a classmates computer without him knowing. Started typing random words and closing applications as he worked
-
We had a floor meet early morning, regarding some business advancements and new "business framework" in our company.
Guess who took a sick leave.
PS : Apparently tech is not the only field with buzzwords.
PPS : Floor meets? Early morning? Why? -
Reading Python code written by Java programmers. I have no words to describe the horror. CamelCase everywhere...2
-
Unbelievable !!! In reference to this: https://devrant.com/rants/2131796/...
The process that was killing performance was, Watchman! I don't even understand I don't have any node stuff running why is watchman starting on system boot ... it was taking sweet 512MB of RAM
Everything now runs smoothly ...3 -
Hey guys
Any russian here with patiante to teach me basic words?
Would really love to learn russian, but it's so hard since the written words are different...56 -
A quick hack that does what the user needs it to do is much better than a beautifully crafted codebase that doesn't solve the user's problem2
-
Guys! Let’s have a contest.
I need a new name for a new journal for my new thoughts. Deep thoughts.
Person who best chooses a name that is fitting (maybe nerdy too) gets a ++ and a screenshot of my handwriting.20 -
When writing in a non-development context, I struggle to remember to leave spaces between my words.1
-
I got no words to explain their lack of knowledge about how the world as they know it was developed.
2 -
I hate the word "Proactive"
What does that even mean? You add the prefix pro- to the word "active" and you get the same thing! Why not just say active?!
We're talking an active approach
We're taking a proactive approach
See, they mean the same thing and the first version doesn't make you sound like a douche.12 -
By this point, I have read the words "model-free" and "model" so many times that the words themselves have lost their meanings for me.3
-
You should know you can write error codes in hexspeak. Here is a color chart for eyecatching illustrative purposes.
2 -
How to sell a useless product
Include those words: #blockchain #cloud #AI #chatbot #machine_learning #bullshit ..2 -
"No merge conflicts, ready to commit."
Such sweet words from TortoiseHg, and it's not even valentine's day! -
Programmers wise thoughts:
Programming is solving a puzzle. Whether you have to piece something new together or change a wrong piece -
I read alot of rants where people describe that they had to implement things they know were wrong and later the boss complained about it although its what he said.
My requirements engineering professor always told us to document everything. Every change made to the requirements must have the source and the reason written down. Idealy with some sort of signature from the boss.
But i understand its not always that easy or done. Which is kinda sad. -
Tell the community, and me!
Question : Synonyms of the following words
small, tiny, micro, nano, milli, wee
Comments below
||
V8 -
That feeling, when your changes almost caused a rollback and you hear words like "revenue impact" being discussed 😨6
-
Holy fucking shit! Almost 5 hours I was trying to make Docker container with PHP 5.4 to work, because I couldnt fucking connect to my fucking localhost DB. After 5 fucking hours of desperation I tried to create DB on my hosting and... IT FUCKING WORKS LIKE CHARM. IF I KNEW SOONER!!!
-
Shut the quack up!!
Quack you!
For quacks sake!
What the quack?!
Jesus quack!
Good quack!
Ok, scratch the last two.. but others..this might actually work.. o.O6 -
People talk about others last words, but we all know that our last code would be much more interesting 😇1
-
I have a confession to make..
When I screw up and want to revert to the last commit, but I don't understand the gibberish error text that git shows me, I just delete the local copy and clone the one on the main repo.4 -
“A computer language is not just a way of getting a computer to perform operations but rather that it is a novel formal medium for expressing ideas about methodology. Thus, programs must be written for people to read, and only incidentally for machines [including the human] to execute.” (The Structure and Interpretation of a Computer Programs, 1985)
“If you try to make something beautiful, it is often ugly. If you try to make something useful, it is often beautiful.” -Mr. OSCAR WILDE -
I thing anybody will agree. Just whisper these words slowly: "Microsoft. Exchange. Server."
Just no.4 -
BoardgameQL -- An engine to rapidly build a graphQL server for games like words with friends, usable like flask1
-
https://github.com/enkidevs/...
https://github.com/sagelabs/...
A repository says more then a thosand words.1 -
When your boss is hell bent on shoving the the words Hadoop , architecture and Revamp in every 3rd sentence. 🙄4
-
Well... Ehm, wow. It's Maintenence Weekend... and I really don't know what to say...
It's simply a prick. -
!dev
Just saying, being in quarantine means that you are isolated because you might be sick, and to see if you develop symptoms. Self isolation and social distancing is not being in quarantine.3 -
Looks like the full heat of the Linux CoC is finally being felt:
https://itsfoss.com/swear-words-lin...
😉4 -
AWS dynamodb. It's got a list of reserved word longer than a winter night at the polar circle. It automatically creates column names from json post keys. It does not check them against the reserved words. Then it fails all queries because there is a column with an offending name, called Uuid. The reserved words limitation is case insensitive, thank you. Lost hours of work today because of it. Right now I think AWS is JUNK!1
-
that coworker playing nordic music on spotify without headphones so everyone can "concentrate"... (his own words...)5
-
I like the settings on my phone as dark as the dungeons with Geralt and a torch or the awesomely dumb flashlight from Doom 3.12
-
Anyone else have the ritual of searching for curse words in code prior to committing & pushing your changes?8
-
Resume read and review day! After going through nears as makes no difference 70 applications I have a grand total of 18 fuckwits who refer to themselves in the third person.
Julian has experience working with multi-disiplinary teams...
Danielle found her career path and professional purpose cultivating interests in digital communication...
TOO MANY WANK WORDS9 -
Why, oh why do we keep using such bizarre tech names e.g Hadoop, Pig, Oozie, Sqoop, Bleeg, Flume...5
-
3 magical words that every programmer wants to listen .
.
.
.
.
Are.
.
.
.
.
Code Compiled Successfully3 -
Does anyone find it odd that my school's CAD and engineering program can't design a poster with legible words?
1 -
Is a picture worth a thousand words?
Super fun data driven analysis based on Google's Conceptual Captions Dataset.
https://kanishk307.medium.com/is-a-...
#python #dataanalysis #exploratorydataanalysis #statistics #bigdata3 -
Nothing I like better than seeing those words "No problems have been detected in the workspace so far" 🤠
1 -
My internet is my weed.
My wify has been dead since last 30 hrs and I FEEL LIKE CRYING. 70MBOS TO 40KBPS NOOOO... HELP ME SOMEBODY I AM GETTING TORTURED BY MOBILE'S 10KBPS SPEED . GIMME SPEED , PLEASE FUCKING INTERNET SPEED. I EVEN SPENT MY 4G PACK LIMIT . TAKE MY MONEY BLOOD SOUL ANYTHING , AM DYING TO GET ONE LAST SHOT OF A GOOD SPEED , AAAGH FUCK😫😭😭😭😭.
AM not fine 😖😖8 -
Why do Haskell/Scala/Lisp/Clojure develops do crossfit?
Because they like their fitness how they like their programming paradigms: functional! -
Things I say at work:
"...and the words 'ghetto' and 'database architecture' don't ever belong in the same sentence." -
What will be the regex to include all words concatenated with special characters but exclude whitespaces12
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