Time spent on Android Studio:

30% - Actual programming
70% - Waiting for gradle to build

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

A few years ago when I was still an apple fan boy, friend of mine bragging me about how android is awesome, we were drinking some shots at our local pub and I was starting to get light headed. At one point he showed me so called "terminal emulator" app. I checked it out, and assumed it's an emulation, just like dosbox, so I decided to verify that "rm -rf *"... (the phone was rooted)

The phone shutdown within seconds, I couldn't stop laughing, while my friend was shock that his new phone was longer booting.

Luckily he managed to reflash the ROM. What can I learn from that experience?
1. Don't drink and sudo
2. Don't call your app an emulator if it's the real deal.

Keeping some commits for after midnight so I get an extra little green square on GitHub.

When you realise github exists.

Wrote 800-1200 LOC
It went through code review which was apparently my first code being reviewed
Took me 1 month and more to fix most changes (per day more than 10-12 hrs of effort)..
That 1 month was a nightmare. Every day I thought of giving up programming. I shouted to myself every night why did I never considered these myself. How can I be so dumb.
Half of the reviews I didn't even know how to implement. Didn't even know what to Google.
I consider it as one of my toughest phase as a developer till date.
I still get goosebumps remembering those days.

GitHub: a marketplace for publicly available API keys

Sharing a short story.
Time: 1:30 am
Conversation between me and a night watchman in my society.
I was walking and this watchman suddenly stopped me and started asking questions.
Watchman: Isn't it late at 1:30am. When do u sleep?
Me: I sleep very late (replied in a very uninterested manner)
Watchman: Which year are you?
Me: Final year of Graduation
Watchman: Which branch?
Me: (a bit annoyed now) Software Engineering
Watchman: So you know programming?
Me: (little shocked that he knows what's programming) Learning
Watchman: So, do your university teaches C, Python and UNIX?
Me:(completely shocked by his knowledge) Yup. Except UNIX, others yes.
Watchman then asked some fees related questions and placements scope.
I was annoyed when he approached me for a little talk.. But had a wonderful experience talking to this person. It's great when you meet such unexpected person having such knowledge.
When I asked him how he knows all these, he said he talks like this to many students and learnt it.
His last line to me when I said that you know a lot, was:
Sir, you are the ocean, I am a needle in it.
Truly awesome moment... Never judge anyone by looks or his occupation... Knowledge is something that anyone anywhere can gain...
Respect to that watchman...

"To use the clock you need Adobe Flash"

Really 1&1? You really need flash to show a fucking clock? Its not that hard to do this in javascript, or? Even if it is an analog clock :D There is even a tutorial of the "quality content page" w3schools about implementing this in javascript ... just whyyyyyyy? it 2018, not 2004.

(1&1 is an german ISP. This message occured in their webmailer using it without flash.)

Don't be like Bob

Asked my colleague not to commit android settings and build files into git, ignores me and goes ahead to do it anyway. Now, every time I pull from Git, I have 6k+ files that are changed 😑

My friend who is new to Android App Dev was trying to make a simple app that programmatically takes a pic then sends it as an MMS. He opened Stack Overflow, copied code and i heard him murmur "hmm this is simple". Knowing the future, and the wrath of Android Studio, i leaned into my seat and waited. 2 hours later i knew Andy Studio had pissed all over him and it was written all over his face. I walked past him as if to go to the toilet then back again, his screen was blood red with errors and my heart danced and sang.

3 hours later i was out of the room and he sent me a text saying "I give up". I replied, "well tbh, im suprised it took you that long"

Thank you Android Studio for showing all those who think all we do is copy and paste code that they are freakin retards.

The fucker complains when someone doesn't write unit tests, meanwhile he tops any new code he writes with a @codeCoverageIgnore annotation ... 😒😒

Fill the CAPTCHA to use Google... wtf?

Facebook keeps disabling my developer account.........

Just ran the hello world program using flutter, the apk size is already 7MB.

Why are interviewers so resistant to letting people use Google while doing coding questions? It’s not like I can remember all the semantics of every language anyway, and so much of coding is learning to use Google correctly.

I should put a sign on my door, "DO NOT DISTURB, CODING.... BRING SACRIFICE IF YOU MUST...." damn distractions....

It would have been so helpful if they taught us about licenses and copyrights. Would've saved me a lot of trouble.

"Hey, can you review this for me real quick?"

Alright I get the importance of project planning but having a Sprint meeting at 7am is just insane.

Using vim inside the terminal to take text based notes for school is kinda like having a Ferrari just so you can use the radio.

Took me a week to realize that "!rant" just means "not rant".

I thought it was some sort of post front-matter that was no longer supported by the app (like a Duck Duck Go "bang").

😅

GROW SOME FUCKING BALLS AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY YOU FUCKWIT!
I can't even count how many times I've heard people excuse themselves with sentences like:

"It's not my fault I only got a C, our teacher was shit"

"How can I finish this assignment when the teacher haven't learned me this?"

"I'll be late to work because my dick was stuck in the sink"

(This is a real one I've experienced myself. A teacher said this last week)
"I wasn't able to put up your material for your assignment before now because we're busy with exams" - The day before the assignment was due. Gj.

"He doesn't deserve to get fired, it's not his not at fault for being incompetent"

Then who the fuck is? The government? Your neighbor? My dog? A stray dog?

STFU! I'm so fucking tired of all these excuses! Grow some hair and take responsibility.
The only thing you achieve by not doing so is making everyone else drown in your disgusting vomit your constantly letting out of your mouth.

Dear uni, please don’t give us an ISO of a custom virtual machine that we are required to use, and then lock us into an account without admin or sudo privileges. It’s our VM, running on our own computers, with our own data. Wtf. I can’t even install a fucking text editor.

Job opening tells us that they want someone who knows:
C, C++, C#, Java, VB, PHP, HTML, Javascript, MySql, Postgree, windows, Linux, Mac OS, a degree in computer science and a few years of experience.

What you'll actually do in most of those jobs: Deal with Excel spreadsheets.

People who use drag and drop website builders and call themselves front end developers should just die!

There's a fine line in stack overflow.
If you ask something too complicated, nobody will answer it.
However if it's too easy, you got downvoted immediately.🤔

CS Professor: “What M word is the black hole to all productivity?”

Student: “Management”

CS Professor: “Was going to say meetings but that’s better”