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Search - "airlines"
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If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines
UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.
Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on ...
Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.
Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.
Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the Seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"10 -
Fuck air line companies.
They always lose your shit.
Like Ensiferum here. Airlines lost their shit so they they have to play acoustic.
Acoustic most pit motherfuckers. That's right. Acoustic. Most pit.
Fucking metal! 🤘11 -
Why the fuck does my baggage arrive late at the airport... Why can't it be soon as I need it. Always happens.11
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We've worked 5 months to decompose a complex and huge monolith into microservices, deployed in prod with zero defects. And finally moving to AWS, one by one.
How can i explain this work to bunch of 5 year olds? i.e. i've to present this to top level management with no tech knowledge.
I'm thinking of: Lets say a family of 6 people want to travel for 30 holidays to another country. A monolith can be equivalent to having everyone's luggage in huge bag, microservices can be packing luggage in sizable chunks acceptable by airlines.
I'm bad at explaining, can someone help with better example?10 -
I think the award for “riskiest dev choice” might be awarded to the developers who wrote the Boeing 737 Max anti-stall MCAS code. But it could also be argued that the root cause was hardware and lack of redundancy of sensors.
https://cnbc.com/2019/03/...2 -
FUCK!!!!
Got tickets to jbcnconf. Got all the flights in order. Got a place to stay.
And apparently someone decided to have a strike in the airlines on the day my connecting flight was supposed to happen. And ofc the flight got cancelled. And ofc there are no alternatives.
So now the whole ~1k€ conference deal will go down the gutter. FUCK!! I soooo wanted to visit Barcelona and attend that conf!!
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. I hate you, Ryanair5 -
When you realize the Linux kernel overallocates memory like United Airlines overallocates seats on a plane.
But for some reason we're ok when Linux does it.. less ok for an airline. >_<3 -
So any other day I wouldn't be that broken up over missing a day of work over a delayed and subesquently cancelled.. Except when that day of work means that I get to attend the WWDC keynote in person! F U American Airlines!1
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Fuck Airlines man !
I came 6hrs early to the airport as I had to check out from the hotel.
Then this ass airlines delays flight by 2hrs !
Luckily I have my laptop with me on this flight,sorted some work in the first 2 hrs, bt now I am fuckin done!
Aaaah ! Also the airport wifi is so shit,I can even do a google search properly!11 -
While waiting at the airport for my flight I’ve received no less than four emails from a competing airline. I think it’s time to check my location settings on the other airlines app.
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Did you guys know that the computers in the back of the Delta airlines' seats run Linux? Lol just tell them it's not working right and they'll reboot it for you 😋3
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Is it racist to don an Indian accent when an Indian scammer calls you?
I got a local call from South West airlines with a guy that had an Indian accent. Sure, local to my state. Bullshit. I was tired and didn't feel like fucking with him. Probably should have to keep him from scamming someone else.
After the call I started thinking of things to say in and Indian accent. Maybe next time I will mess with them.20 -
Does somebody know a js library to make a route network on a map, like the ones airlines use. Where you can enter/click on the departure and it displays a forced node graph of the destinations from a database. Like this: http://easyjet.com/ch-de/...
Google shows only computer network related mapping stuff *sigh*3 -
!tech
I have this bad habit of never taking decisions without discussing. For risky, highly impactful decisions, ig this is a good approach, but when you are trying to be a host, or taking some very basic decisions like ordering food, or booking a time slot, i would ask opinion of all the parties involved.
I sometimes cross the line of being considerate to being bothering, irritating and unreliable with my debating nature.
I Don't know why but i for every situation i feel having a second opinion is necessary and good.For eg, Once i was my sister and our flight got cancelled due to bad weather.
I had to choose : either take the next available flight booked by the same airlines for free, which was around 26 hours later, or book the next flight from another airlines which was in 2 hours but costed twice. we were in a different state, and my middle-class/opportunity deprived brain was seeing a path for both choices, but i thought of consulting sis and she lost her mind. she got scared, she started regretting all our choices, the airway travels , everything.
if i had just taken the decision of going with the 2 hour late flight, i would hav saved myself from so much drama.
How to fucking man up in a decision making situation?8 -
I bought tickets for a friend of mine to visit me. She cancelled. I purchased travel insurance from Expedia. I have to now cancel one flight through Expedia, the return through the airline, and file a separate claim to get the money back. I hope they don't want me to prove she's sick, since she isn't (she's just a terrible person and I knew she'd pull this shit).
I hate the entire way the airline industry works. This is bullshit.
I hate the entire airline booking system.1 -
That fucking moment when the whole page is shown in German first, but then it decides to show it entirely in Dutch. Thank god, I was able to understand a little bit of Dutch and successfully bought the luggage expandation, because of the few word similarities here and there.
But what if I was someone who does not know Dutch or German?
Well... fuck that person sideways, right Corendon Airlines?
How about you guys decide to fuck yourselves and save us a lot of headaches. Thanks in advance.6 -
I like ups. They are one of the biggest airlines in the world, deliver incredibly fast over incredible distances, but
Fuck their website!
At least they've updated the design but the functionality is just garbage. I wanted to track a package that is on its way to me. And I wanted the delivery person to know that he could put the package in the garage if nobody is home. I had to register for two different services (God knows what's the difference) and even then ups somehow knew an old address (I believe I managed to get stuck there In the past) which I couldn't remove. I found the option to tell the delivery person to put the package in the garage in some random menu but I don't know if it is for the right address or package.
Why is it so fucked up? Everybody else (DHL for example) has a decent site on which all the stuff is easily manageable.4