When I was in high school, the IT had the bright idea to use the same username/password for each machine in our site, and there was this jerk who knowing this, would occasionally SSH into the computers of the other classmates and wget porn mp4s to their home directory to embarrass them, as some sort of weird-ass prank.

So, in order to give him a lesson, I one day had logged in and set a rule on the class' router to forward all port 22 traffic back to his own IP address, and had SSHed into his machine, aliasing wget with a full-screen kiosk mode chrome, followed by a force disable of the USB HID devices.

It might have been less awkward and he might have seen less scared, if it wasn't for the fact that I had also remotely set his machine to maximum volume, and the teacher wasn't in the middle of a lecture. 😏

To this date, his expression is the most precious reaction I have ever seen.

Refactored an authentication library a while back and teams are now getting around to updating their nuget packages.

It is a breaking change, but a simple one. The constructor takes a connection string, application name, and user name.

A dev messages me yesterday saying ...

Tom: "I made the required changes, but I'm getting a null reference exception when I try to use the authorization manager"

Odd because the changes have been in production for months in other apps, so I asked him to send me a screen shot of how he was using the class (see attached image below).

Me: "Send me a screenshot of how you are using the class"
<I look at what he sent>
Me: "Do you really not see the problem why it is not working?"
<about 10 minutes later>
Tom: "Do I need to pass a real connection string? The parameter hint didn't say exactly what I should pass."
<not true, but I wasn't going to embarrass him any more>
<5 minutes later>
Tom: "The authorization still isn't working"
Me: "Do you still have 'UserName' instead of the actual user name?"
<few minutes later>
Tom: "Authorization is working perfect, thanks!"

A little while later my manager messages me..

B:"I'm getting reports from managers that developers are having a lot of problems with the changes to the authorization nuget package. Were these changes tested? Can you work with the teams to get these issues resolved as soon as possible? I want this to be your top priority today."
Me: "It was Tom"
B: "Never mind."

"I found this tool that we should use because I'm a manager and its simple enough that my tiny little manager brain could set it up!"

Oh wow good for you, Mr. Manager! And what, praytell, does the tool require?

"All proprietary and cost-ineffecient products: MSSQL Server and Windows IIS! What do you mean we have to get the data out in order for it to be scalable? Look at it! I set up a website by clicking on an EXE i downloaded from github!"

Amazing, Mr. Manager. So you violated our security practices AND want to pocket even MORE of our budget?

Kindly fuck right off and start suggesting things instead of making people embarrass you into stoping your fight for your tool (has happened on more than one occassion).

So I worked with this guy for 2 years. Lets call him Fred. He came into the company and immediately inserted himself as a programmer lead. I asked him to talk to our boss to determine if he was in fact in charge of the devs now. Our boss said he is not in charge of anything. He continued to act like a lead. I was like fine, "you can play boss for now". He was actually very helpful to bounce ideas off of and knew a lot about programming in general. I enjoyed working with him.

Fast forward 2 years after he was hired. I come into work and notice he isn't at work. I figure he was taking a longer vacation. It was around thanksgiving. A week goes by. I ask another coworker where Fred is. Coworker, "Oh, he was let go." Apparently there was a conflict with our boss with Fred. The boss had to work the weekend to write a bunch of code Fred was supposed to write.

So I got paranoid and wondering if I was going to get fired. I didn't understand the specifics of why and nobody was explaining this. I had planned on working on some extra code for another coworker, but decided against this due to the recent events. I just kept working the task I was assigned, but I kind of got depressed about this. This hurt my productivity for a month or two.

A few months go by. I talk to the coworker about Fred. The coworker explains that Fred never actually generated any code that was usable. Some of the code this coworker had to fix. So the sum total of code was actually a negative amount of lines written while working here.

How the fuck do you stay employed without writing code as a developer? The guy was smart, and understood math way better than I understand it. How can Fred seem like he knows what he is doing, but not produce anything? This would embarrass me to be this unproductive. I don't think the guy was incompetent. He always contributed guidance and helped keep projects on task. My coworker thinks Fred was trying to be a manager instead of a developer. Why not balance that and be both? I get sick of coding at times and would love to just talk to people.

I am very confused how Fred fucked up a pretty laid back dev job.

The guy I work with was pissed because I asked him the status of his task during the daily meeting.
He doesn't want me to embarrass him because he hasn't finished this task. He said not to push him further as he will do it soon.

Dude, the point of having a daily meeting is to give updates of all pending tasks. it's been one week, you're procrastinating on this task is delaying the progress of my task.
Mind you, this guy has a PhD but he can't even understand a simple project management like this.

Hehehe this whole team is clown world 🤪🤡

My NDA prevents me of revealing a lot but here we go...

Hi,
during a 2 year hiatus after High School I decided to study CS. Coming from a third world country with no prospect of getting a nice job without breaking my back or getting spit on by overconfident CS geeks who now actually make a living wage there, I decided to study abroad.

I immediately realized what I have been missing... the culture, the people, the happenings,... I have been starved of LIFE

Anyways, I got the language pretty much down, uni is pretty hard but doable and I got the unthinkable... A JOB. I am currently a working student for a year at a multimillion dollar global conglomerate, doing what some may think of as scripting/data tinkering. I get payed more than both my parents combined, which is why they don't know anything... 😂 (yet, gotta ease em into it).

Now I have gotten my contract extended, which shows that I am doing a decent job there, the boss is firm but chill, coworkers are helpful and resourceful.

But what really grinds my gears is that I am mashing code together whilst googling my brain out, but I am not gaining any skill...

Now comes my grievance, the bane of my existence, the evil Morty to my Morty,... GitHub.

In this professional surrounding, where I got handed a $2,5k notebook and a overly huge paycheck, I never use Git (because we have a proprietary, internal, and very transparent alternative (transparent for the higher ups 😬 ))

I always wanted to contribute on GitHub, but I get very intimidated by the projects there and their scopes, people are waaay too knowledgeable in comparison to me and I will most certainly screw something up and embarrass myself. Since I am very self-conscious and awkward I would most probably just delete my profile there and lurk in the shadows again.

I need help, not only for my mental health, but also to expand my skillset and improve myself, since skill is the only thing I can still acquire.

Does anyone know where I should start as a overglorified python script-kiddy who still thinks 1337 is cool and mr Robot is a decent show?

Thanks,
@rn

When I was in high school Facebook was just coming out and it was...

- a way for the cool kids to exclude anyone they didn’t like from a visible social circle.

When I was in university Facebook was taking over the world and it was...

- a place for your mom to embarrass you and your racist aunt/uncle to make uncomfortable racist comments.

Today Facebook is...

- a serious threat to society itself. A direct threat to truth and the enemy of the press.

And yet most of these weak-minded, short-term dopamine addicts are still sucking Facebook’s flaccid cock.

———

To loosely quote iceberg slim...

A real pimp can eye a bitch and gauge right away how much mileage she has...

“That hoe is good for 500 fucks”

Once the mileage runs out the bitch gets strung out and you gotta let her go.

I wonder how many more likes these dopamine-driven Facebook hoes have left in them? I wonder?

Ps. Yes, Facebook is a pimp and every time you look at it you are a hoe. You give up the preverbal pussy to them, they sell your pussy to the ticks (advertisers) and then you get fucked, getting just enough dopamine so that your fine with them selling your pussy for profit.

So today is my 17th birthday. One of my friends got me some chocolate and a bunch of little kids stuff to embarrass me.

One of the things he got me was a rubber duck.

He doesnt know how much I actually wanted one xD

Be me

Have a company wide incident happen during on call

Say you're rolling back a change in a service that might have been the cause

Have someone laugh and say that change was just a new endpoint and completely unrelated

Be embarrassed

Have a senior director point out the code change that was the issue

Embarrass yourself in front of the entire company (it impacted everyone)

But hey atleast it wasn't my change

1. Find a decent, entry level job at a company for full time
2. Graduate from my two year tech school with my degree
3. Apply/start at a university for my Bachelor's degree.
4. Start actually building my database application project. Its been on the back burner for over a year.
5. Try not to be so doubtful or unsure of dev skills. Try being less anxious to ask for advice or explanations, and dont let lack of knowledge discourage or embarrass me from growing my skills.

There are times where I would be debugging during one of my (high school) classes, and I would finally find that bug that I've been looking into for days, and I would then involuntarily yell out something like "Oh! That shouldn't be there!", and everybody would start staring at me. It really pissed off the teachers.

I have never yelled at my co-workers in the office. I hate to work with some of them, but I don’t have to bastardise myself yelling at them. There’s always incompetence or ineptitude, but that doesn’t mean I have any right to be incoherently rude. I rather have them embarrass themselves than yell at them.

Even though some of them are an infinite arsehole. I believe that keeping my temperament as gentle as possibly can gain me some respect from my juniors.

Keeping your cool is a BOSS move AF.

BossMan asks me to set up meeting with head engineer tomorrow about integrating 3rd party software. He thinks it bada bing bada boom and the software will get be implemented but I know better he doesn't even know what one of there many products he wants. How do I not embarrass myself in front if the head engineer? I am a full stack student and hope one day to work for this company in a dev role. What should I do?

i just released my first open source project with effort to make a comprehensible documentation for others to use as well as repetitive refactoring to not embarrass myself.
i am equally excited and knowing no one will care about that.

it is based on my effort to make my companies workflow more effective, knowing well this is just a temporary solution in advance to a professional developed system as opposed to having no system at all. so all of this work will fade into oblivion eventually.

i felt this has been too much work just to be forgotten someday so i cling to my naive hope someone might benefit from that and maybe i get one or three internet points.

in case someone is interested in a free quality management software for document control and access with no real state of art, you might find it interesting to visit my qualitymanagement repo

I swear I still cannot figure out how to adjust my chair comfortably for the life of me, and I don't want to embarrass myself by sitting down on the ground and spend 30 minutes figuring out how to make the back not fall when I lean back.

So tired of app developers localizing app information with Google Translate. Use a real person that can READ AND WRITE IN THE FUCKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE or scrap the entire translation and do marketing in English. And Google? Why the fuck do you allow people to embarrass themselves by providing machine translated SHIT in the Store Listing options?

Some gems found on Google Play Store, translated from Norwegian to English the way I as Norwegian interpret them.

Reddit: Reddit is a collection of bank interest rate society: cats, piks, politics and more.

eBay: Offer, to buy, to sell. Turn pages offering and save on clothes Sjoeping, used cars and more

Huuuge Casino: New social castls and casino a sensation! Now play FREE!

And finally, devRant 😂: Social networks to get a contact with other developers than funny qalz about tekk.

!rant, but self flaggelation.

Been 3 weeks with my new company.

They are M$ shop, so got the Surface Book and top specced base.

And today I spilled coffee on it 😱

Granted, I had this coming. Over the years I've had many laptops, and put them in all sorts of dangerous situations. But of course it happens now to embarrass me at the new company.

Does anyone have any experience with surface service or returning, and cost? 💸

I'm always a bit lost at sprint planning, and the tasks are not written very descriptively in Jira, in a way that doesn't help me "restore the context" of what needs to be implemented. I'm always kinda lost in this shit and now I gotta go embarrass myself and ask people what were we supposed to do again, after a couple hours wondering and distracting myself as a "coping mechanism" for my frustration with this.

I hate being this anxious. My tasks are late and I don't want to keep working into the night this year.