Client: "Can you move this to a little bit there"

Me: "okay, have a look"

Client: "Meh, Can you make the text a little like ${x}"

Me: "There you go"

...this goes on for 10 minutes...

Client: "Meh, I like the original better. Just scrap everything and switch to what you had"

Me: *nuclear explosion*

A decade ago 800x600 was pretty much the standard resolution for devices and 5 sec response time was considered fast. Animations were minimal and websites were easier to read. Programmers debated around topics like which loop runs faster, i++ or ++i, while vs doWhile and so on. In general, we were closer to understanding what happens behind the browser curtain and how code needs to be organized to make it more maintainable.

Today the level of abstraction is much higher. I don't think devs can contemplate on the finer aspects of programming efficiency; they'd rather rely on a code library to do all the grunt work. With the explosion of devices and platforms, the focus has shifted from programming to assembling. Programmers need to know their tools first, then write code. The tool is expected to work well with a millisecond response time, not the programmer's code.

Moving forward, I think programming would be more about building higher abstraction utilities/libraries that are integrated by other tools, which is already happening. Marketing an App would become more important than the actual skill needed to develop it.

A bit far-fetched, but I think the future programmer would be a lot like a stock market analyst who has a bunch of windows in front, just observing data or algorithm patterns created by an AI engine and cherry-picking a specific combination of modules that might make the next big sensational app.

My friend loves Dreamweaver... And continuously says that he doesn't understand what people see in it that is so wrong... It does the job right?...... Fucking blind...

Uses a bootstrap plugin which generates HTML code for bootstrap.
I did not know this at the time.

Comes to me the night before submission.
He: Dude i need help quick! I've got the presentation tomorrow morning and bootstrap fucked up the links to my style sheets or something, my page is broken and won't work. I should have done what you did and gone for Foundation...
Me: Yeah, because the bootstrap framework definitely affects the style links...
He: help me out man, please! I can't do this anymore!

I had my submission the day after him to prepare still...

Me: Teamviewer. Now.

Log on to Teamviewer.
See what he's using to code...
Dreamweaver..... Niiiiice....

I go through the code. There are empty divs with &nbsc; in them everywhere.. some HTML elements haven't been closed, no comments, indentation seems to be completely random. All the usual shit storm of a novice web designer.
The only thing is, this guy I know knows how to indent, I've seen his previous work. Why is this so horrible then???
I ask what the hell happened, it looked like a nuclear explosion happened!

He: Yeah I'm using this great plugin for Dreamweaver which lets me click and it puts in Bootstrap elements! It's great!

........ You're blaming the bootstrap framework for affecting your links to your stylesheets, you're using an elements generator, you're not checking what the FUCK it puts into your code, not fixing the indenting, not checking the standard HTML rules are followed AND YOU WONDER WHY IT'S BROKEN???

Kill me now.

Did you know?
This rant is a part of the 3 quintillion bytes of data that the world generated today.

I hope they make an anime about being a dev and the enemy is the deadline.

Dev: ill use this coding technique number 111

Deadline: impossible

Insert explosion effect here

Every time you feel anger, instead of explosion you write a new rant and make people smile.

=> devRant is behaviouristic therapy.

That moment when months of invisible backend development results in an explosion of deliverables.

an 18 year old youtube multimillionaire known as McSkillet lost $200,000 on csgo skins and $700,000 gambling and trading csgo skins so he fell into depression. he took his $265,500 McLaren supercar and ran into the highway in opposite direction to commit suicide, but in doing so he also killed a mom and a 12 year old girl from the car collision explosion.

life is very hard to be an 18 year old teenage millionaire, better commit suicide instead.

how do you guys feel about this?

My friends computer had a dead motherboard, so I chucked his disk into my PC to copy his files to USB.
We turned on the computer after plugging the drive in, and it showed up in Windows explorer. At which point I was thinking sweet this will be easy. But when I clicked on the drive to open it, the screen immediately blacked out with a pop. I look down at the PC and see smoke pouring out of the hard drive 🤔😯. I didn't know it was possible to literally fry a hard drive, I think I'll just stick to software after this...maybe I should be booted from Linux USB in the first place \_(ツ)_/¯

Thankfully my friend wasn't too annoyed as he had a recent backup!

Is it just me or does everyone start having a explosion of ideas for future projects just after closing eyes for sleep? And then next morning, it's blank again.

Today I finished my robotics project. I had in my team a total idiot (the one who used the hidden divs, some might remember from another rant). I wanted to share with you the beginning of a ranting adventure.

Me: "you can begin with a simple task. I will send you the obstacle avoidance sensors values from Arduino, and you will send the data for the Arduino motors to dodge the obstacle".

The sensors give 1 if clear, 0 if obstacle is detected.

Below is his code (which I brutally rewrote in front of him).

Now, in the final version of the robot we have something like 9 sensors of the same time to work with.
Imagine what would have happened if we kept him coding. (Guess it: 2^9 statements! :D)

I was not that evil, I tried to give him some chances to prove himself willing to improve. None of them were used rightfully.

I'm so fucking glad we finished. I'm not gonna see him anymore, even if I'd like to be a technical interviewer for hiring just to demolish him.

I'm not always that evil, I promise (?)

Ps. He didn't even have any idea on what JSON is, even if we had already seen it during FIVE YEARS of computer engineering. (And should've known anyway if he had a bit of curiosity for the stuff he "studies")

So I'm sitting on the toilet in my work, wondering how much time is left till I beat the specific impulse of a Raptor engine, and all of sudden the emergency allarms go off.

Weighting my options now: die in a fire or some kind of explosion, or go downstairs without ending *the thing*.

Dying Lannister-way or going out of the building and meeting my colleagues, with a very weird smile on my face.

...

I think I just discovered new levels of fast when it comes to using toilet paper.

Is it just me, or are the media / journalists once again putting a stupidly unfair pessimistic spin on that SpaceX launch?

"SpaceX rocket launches but explodes shortly into flight"
"Musk's SpaceX big rocket explodes on test flight"
"SpaceX rocket explosion: None injured or killed"

They've said time and time again, it's the first test of a massively complex rocket that's bigger than anything that's ever gone before it, and success is just defined as "getting off the launch pad" and collecting data. They did that and then some.

But instead of spreading excitement about the data, the fact it launched, that it's a world first, etc. - it's all doom and gloom, implying that the whole thing was a failure and people could have died 🙄

And people wonder why I have a low opinion of journalists.

In the news today, a city in Lebanon fell victim to some sort of explosion, which was captured by hundreds of civilians via cell phone recording.

In other news today, millions of people learned Lebanon is a real place.

i transferred shitload of code from one class to another, stackoverflowed something and copy pasted it because i have never seen that this needs to be written like that, hit run compile, open up my logs expecting a mass crash and possibly explosion. it worked on the first try

Anyone else feels technology didn't have a major turning point in a while?

I mean, since the late 1980's we had an explosion of technologies:

Gaming consoles
Macintosh
Windows
GNU/Linux
World Wide Web
Smartphones
The rise of advanced web applications and JavaScript

But now? It seems like stagnation for the past 5-10 years or so.
Sure here and there there some nice stuff(like Cryptocurrency, Cloud services, IoT), but nothing that feels completely game-changing.

What do you think will be the next thing that will completely change our lives?

In 2015 I sent an email to Google labs describing how pareidolia could be implemented algorithmically.
The basis is that a noise function put through a discriminator, could be used to train a generative function.
And now we have transformers.

I also told them if they looked back at the research they would very likely discover that dendrites were analog hubs, not just individual switches. Thats turned out to be true to.

I wrote to them in an email as far back as 2009 that attention was an under-researched topic. In 2017 someone finally got around to writing "attention is all you need."

I wrote that there were very likely basic correlates in the human brain for things like numbers, and simple concepts like color, shape, and basic relationships, that the brain used to bootstrap learning. We found out years later based on research, that this is the case.

I wrote almost a decade ago that personality systems were a means that genes could use to value-seek for efficient behaviors in unknowable environments, a form of adaption. We later found out that is probably true as well.

I came up with the "winning lottery ticket" hypothesis back in 2011, for why certain subgraphs of networks seemed to naturally learn faster than others. I didn't call it that though, it was just a question that arose because of all the "architecture thrashing" I saw in the research, why there were apparent large or marginal gains in slightly different architectures, when we had an explosion of different approaches. It seemed to me the most important difference between countless architectures, was initialization.

This thinking flowed naturally from some ideas about network sparsity (namely that it made no sense that networks should be fully connected, and we could probably train networks by intentionally dropping connections).

All the way back in 2007 I thought this was comparable to masking inputs in training, or a bottleneck architecture, though I didn't think to put an encoder and decoder back to back.

Nevertheless it goes to show, if you follow research real closely, how much low hanging fruit is actually out there to be discovered and worked on.

And to this day, google never fucking once got back to me.

I wonder if anyone ever actually read those emails...

Wait till they figure out "attention is all you need" isn't actually all you need.

p.s. something I read recently got me thinking. Decoders can also be viewed as resolving a manifold closer to an ideal form for some joint distribution. Think of it like your data as points on a balloon (the output of the bottleneck), and decoding as the process of expanding the balloon. In absolute terms, as the balloon expands, your points grow apart, but as long as the datapoints are not uniformly distributed, then *some* points will grow closer together *relatively* even as the surface expands and pushes points apart in the absolute.

In other words, for some symmetry, the encoder and bottleneck introduces an isotropy, and this step also happens to tease out anisotropy, information that was missed or produced by the encoder, which is distortions introduced by the architecture/approach, features of the data that got passed on through the bottleneck, or essentially hidden features.

Friend: at this moment, Nathan knew, he fucked up
Me: dude, i'm not natha....
Friend: imitates bomb explosion, while replacing every semicolon with white spaces... Fuck him, for Lords Sake!!!

Alright, I just need to add a new state to this state machine...
*class explosion*
... 6 hours later ...
Wtf was I doing again?

So I was messing around in unity, as you do. And I made an explosion mechanic platformer. The scripts were all working well. I saved it for the day.
The next day I booted unity and my scripts were gone, and the scene switcher won't work.
So I mean, partly my fault. Partly google drive's fault and partly unity's fault.

One of these days....

Where you want to do a tiny task

....

And suddenly an explosion nukes every service, related service and dependant service.

Chain reaction. Yaaaayyy........

(ancient prometheus node lead to an snapshot error, snapshot error made the migration tool unhappy, migration tool unhappy meant that my task failed - updating prometheus meant checking every target, exporter and so on...
Fuckity fuck it''s gangbang time.)

The explosion on the server room left the IT technician with a chip on his shoulder

Took my three weeks paid summer vacation, but ended up coding almost two of the three weeks.

The geniuses in charge decided that everyone should be forced to take vacations anyway due to corona and it under no circumstances could be postponed.
Only SLIGHT FUCKING PROBLEM is that our product delivery is in 2 days.
Lets send the lead developer, and most of the seniors away the month leading up to the release, that could in no way go wrong.

Predicting a hilarious explosion of urgent tasks the second i step in the door :D

Any futurists here waiting for the technological singularity and a possible intelligence explosion?

PR merged!!!!
:) :) :)
(feel like exploding like uranium235)

I'm gonna scream the next time I hear a newscaster or some podcaster or some other bloke try to explain "what AI is" by giving some half assed word salad describing (a child's perception of) neural networks.
Fuck, back when the internal combustion engine was invented, did the newsies and radio hosts explained the concept of "explosion" every time they were to talk about engines?

Anybody know why a good amount of active members like linuxxx and SortofTested have been inactive for a few months. Also why has there been a green dot explosion

When your latest explosion of brilliance breaks your last!...undo

The loudest sounds in the universe:
3. Nuclear explosion
2. Supernova
1.

Its funny whenever i see an apple fanboy use the note 7 as a reason to switch. A few iPhones in the past exploded too.

No hate to apple users in general, im talking about the hardcore fans.

Bought a laptop off my friend for $100 so he can get rid of it since he no longer uses it, and he can use the money to get more fans for his desktop to help that with it's overheating issue.

I took it home and for some reason didn't want to turn it on immediately. i decided to first take it apart and see if there's any internal issues just in case. As soon as the back cover is off I see that 1 out of the three segments on the lithium ion battery expanded. yep gonna order a new one of that tomorrow. I'm not the most hardware savvy but I'm pretty sure an expanded battery can cause an explosion

Azure, great development slots! Must have, now I can have developer, staging and production. The greatest no downtime when swapping a new server in....

Everything crashes? WTF?

OKAY, so swapping to a service that authenticates users makes the authentication part crash :/

Phew development slots ROLL BACK...

No the entire service was broken. Rolling back, all non authenticating controllers work, but the authentication never happens, so server is working, but the users cant use it. Fuck!

Delete everything. Recreate. The setting persists. WTF. Delete again, recreate, reinitialize, republish, it works as it should when tested phew.

Creating new service experiencing cant replicate. Hmm, okay must have been a glitch. Next, update, YEAH swap, no downtime!!!

*EXPLOSION* ..... RINSE AND REPEAT:/

Bakuretsu Bakuretsu La La La

I have a HUGE diarrhea for several hours now. It wont go away. Every 30 minutes or so i have to take a big dump. And its always such a huge explosion of literal liquid instead of shit. Well its still shit but in a liquid form. Its like im pissing but shit. For the last couple of weeks im not eating right because of huge amount of stress wave. Im eating very lightweight food and in a small quantity while drinking water a lot. Could that be the reason or does it have something to do with covid i had last week? Either way help me get this explosive diarrhea out of me what should i do

Hummm(flash back)... I was studying art and design when I've decided to become a web designer, but by the time it came to take my degree also took some frontend languages and them(big explosion and fireworks) it was like magic, I could design and give life to my creations!!! 6 years later still is magic(not the rainbow and unicorns type) ...you know dam well i am talking to you javascript(and your dam post apocalypse bugs)... 😁😁😁 still wouldn't imagine my self doing anything else!

I go through cycles of what I want to work on during my off time. Sometimes I code utilities for video games. Other times I get engrossed in games. One of the games I like to play is Minecraft. Not vanilla Minecraft, but modded Minecraft. It scratches that itch for creativity, fun, relaxing, hanging with people, and technical interest. I am currently playing a medium sized older modpack that has most of the mods I like to play: magic, tech, building tools, dimension building and more.

I am early game on a server with some other people. I already overloaded the server with a population explosion of villagers I am melting down for emeralds. That was interesting. I started automating this and decided to try using ComputerCraft to automate some pieces of this. I stared at the code and just "no, I am not working on my off time". I am going to automate this another way. I used to really like computercraft, but it was code and looked like work. I find that interesting.

Anyway, this is random ass shit I do for fun. Wood house/shack, workroom and ore processing are with no walls, decent small tree farm, and a nuclear reactor in the basement...

There's a type of shopaholism in big open source projects, in that decision making developers tend to search google and just add any javascript framework they find interesting, to the code base!

JUST IN: The unexpected sequel to my previous rant that NOBODY asked for!

I'll give it to you in dialogue form as it's more dramatic and *juicy* that way...

(Context: wizard used the warrior's blood, who descends from an ancient lineage of powerful sorcerors, to cast a high-level spell which allowed the party to teleport to safety when they were trapped and about to die. The warrior is worried about his crazy use of black magic, so she confronts him about it.)

"Alright, old man," she says, her tone serious, yet tinged with concern. "I couldn't help but notice the... let's call it 'unorthodox' spellcasting earlier. What was that about?"

"Well, you wanted me to draw the circle using golden dust and a lamb for the sacrifice?" Uzair raises an eyebrow, his tone riddled with sarcasm. "Because spells of that level of complexity require both things, you know? A circle and an offering." He explains calmly, then shakes his head. "But turns out, the blood of an Ashaffi accounts for both things if you draw the sigils with it. Hey, don't blame me, your own ancestors invented it!"

"Very funny, Uzair." Hashade crosses her arms, her expression unamused. "But seriously, that shit was utterly deranged. I can't have you going all 'Black Scorpion' on our ass, what with the demented use of blood magic, needlessly setting entire buildings ablaze and that mother fucking all-incinerating black hellfire inferno." Her voice is stern, but her eyes show genuine care. "You're... __BREAKING BAD__, old man! You have to chill."

"Oh, so is my wizardry getting on your neves now, is it?" He recoils back slightly in suprise, feeling offended. "We just spanked the Sanie's Guild buttcheeks until they were red and swollen, then proceeded to __FUCK__ them in the ASS with a *DIAMOND* fucking COCK. And you're complaining?"

Hashade's eye's reveal her agitation. "I'm not complaining, I'm concerned! We're not just fighting for ourselves, we're fighting for everyone else too! And if you start playing fast and loose with that kind of power, we're gonna have more than just *one* black smoldering crater to deal with." Her voice is firm, but it's clear she's trying to keep the situation from escalating. "Look, I know you're powerful, but that's not an excuse to go full-on mad scientist on us. We gotta keep our shit tight, yeah?"

"Concerned?!" He tilts his head to the side. "What, you think I'm becoming evil? Come on, spit it out!"

"Evil? No, I don't..." Hashade sighs, running a hand through her silver hair. "Oh no, you know what, yeah. I do. I think you're slowly turning evil." Her expression hardens. "You swapped your book of supplications for a grimoire detailing the most horrible shit in excruciating detail! You shouted out 'G-d is great' while witnessing a disastrous explosion that left everyone else traumatized! You joked around before and after cutting two guards in half, for fuck's sake!" She lowers her head and pinches her nose bridge. "I don't know, I'll admit that, I just don't know what's this shit that's gotten to you. But I don't like it, I really don't. I don't like where this is going, old man!"

"Well," He said, calmly. "you killed El-Fuqer by forcing him to eat his own cock and balls while sowing his ass shut and then took a fat stinking dump on his face." He quietly recalled the, ehem, 'little' incident. "But see, I don't waggle your fucking nutsack about the fucked up shit you've done. And I'm not going to start now."

"THAT'S DIFFERENT! THAT WAS __JUSTICE__!" Her eyes flashed with anger.

"JUSTICE?!! YOU CALL SHITTING ON A CORPSE 'JUSTICE'?!!" He pushed her to the side and stormed out. "I MAY BE AN EVIL WIZARD, BUT I NEVER DEFECATED ON MY ENEMIES, HASHADE. NEVER. FOR FUCKS SAKE!"

"Wait!" Her voice cracked. "You can't just leave like this!"

"I can." He didn't even look back. "And I am."

"I'm not leaving you alone!" She strides closer to him, ignoring the sting of his words. "I can't let you destroy yourself like this!"

(ROGUE BUSTS IN THROUGH THE KITCHEN) "ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, YOU TWO, GET A ROOM ALREADY!"

~ F I N ~

Is JavaScript the Tower of Babel? What will be the long term effects of the explosion of new frameworks. I liked it when you could use a backend server side language and had JavaScript as the special sauce that could do what the backend could not do. I am sure I will be sent to hell for blaspheming the hot, new js frameworks. Oh well better to burn out than fade away.

Apparently my superpower is writing exponential time algorithms to solve puzzles and games. If you need someone to write a recursive DFS to solve your shitty word search, hit me up.

I was watching an Ancient Aliens episode called "Beyond Roswell". The show described the idea of some of our tech being seeded slowly by introducing alien technology to specific companies. They suggested that computing technology has advanced very fast and introducing this tech could be part of that.

At first I was kinda pissed about this. I have read about the creation of the first transistor back in the 40s or 50s. WWII really advanced our need for computing devices such as what Turing built. Then I realized a lot of the explosion of computer tech did occur after key ET events. This kind of made me wonder how much is "us" and how much is ET tech. I also realized it can take a lot of effort to understand something really advanced. So reverse engineering can take a LOT of effort to figure these things out. Being seeded by external tech does not take away from humans at all.

A parallel to this is a programmer that learns how to use a C++ compiler. They could go their whole career without ever understanding how the compiler itself is doing its job. I find myself wanting to learn how compilers work and started down this path. I look at the simple grammar I have learned to parse. Then I look at the C++ grammar and think "How can I ever learn to do that?" So I see us viewing potentially advanced things and wondering how the heck can we ever learn to do that. The common reaction when faced with such tech would be disbelief and in some cases ridiculing the messenger. When I was a kid the idea of sending a picture over a phone was laughable. Now this is common and expected. It was literally a scifi concept when I was a kid.

So, back to the alien tech. I am now thinking it would be cool to be working with alien technology through computing. This is like scifi stuff now! So what if what we have was not all invented here (Earth). If anything this will prepare us programmers to get jobs working for alien corporations writing ship level programs and brain interfaces. Think of it as intergalactic resume building. 😉

So there's this place I go to when I sleep sometimes. I call it "The Circus", though it's more like the arcane sanctuary from Diablo II, if the arcane sanctuary was a hip arthouse and shit. Weird place, but I have friends there, they're like oneiric amalgamations of people I know, we all hang out at the Circus from time to time.

Now, each one has their own really bizarre power. One of the girls, for instance, bites off the head of a pidgeon and that heals her and makes her stronger. Think Ozzy Osbourne, but it's actually cutie goth Popeye. Also she's perpetually drunk for some reason.

Anyway, after having a brief reunion at this ornate round table we just happen to have laying around in the kitchen, we go out to hunt. That's the thing we do, we hunt for magical artifacts, and there's these demon gnomes all around trying to fuck us up. They suck, so we fight them with our powers and kung fu, that kinda vibe.

So it was a good hunt, right, but we have like a scoreboard based on mystical prowess and turns out mine is the lowest. Pidgeon Bitter, who is leading my squad, starts mocking me and says "hehe you have no real powers!" and I'm actually mad about that because it's true, I don't have any, I just fly around and do nothing useful in combat.

Anyway, we then bring the artifacts we collected to fucking Zordon, and he's like well done rangers. Turns out bald motherfucker in a tube doesn't discriminate based on mission score, so good on him. Everybody goes to bed, yeah we have bedrooms at the Circus for some reason, and I can't sleep because of what my captain said.

That's when I do something stupid, I think the dream logic here is I'm having a character arc moment or some shit, doesn't matter -- the point is I embark on a hunt all by myself, and I'm overrun by these fucking demon gnomes. I try to fight them with kung fu and escape with this magic crystal I found, but there's too many of them...

And so my true power finally awakens, and it's a fucking explosion. As in, I become a fire elemental, and in the dream this is good because I just cook all the gnomes alive and make off with the artifact, but I wake up before I can run to Pidgeon Bitter and smear my success in her captivating bloodstained drunk ass face.

My thoughts? Fire magic is two-times lame. One, because I was hoping for thunder, or ice, or something edgy like shadow or whatever. But NO, I got fire. Two, it's lame because it's the most uninventive, straight-forward fucking power in a setting where everything is obtuse, so it's out of place. I just go like really really mad and release an explosive pillar of flame, whoa, so original. Also casting this hurts me for some reason and it destroys everything around me.

And given that I've had other dreams of the Circus where it was obliterated and no-one trusts me anymore, I think it's safe to say those were a flash-forward to next season, and what happens next is I just randomly go into BLIND RAGE mode while taking a shit and everyone but me dies. Just a theory.

What is your Circus power? Let us know in the comments below!

So.
How about those shows on peacock starring and directed and written by emotionally crippled people who like creating scenes where the characters whore themselves and kids get terrorized by rattlesnakes (yellow stone) or books written by smug pedophiles (brave new world) are adapted to appeal to the horny normal audience while simultaneous holding up a mirror to a time period where there was an explosion of prostitution cruelty and general degeneracy in the USA at the very least focused around the crueler aspects of human kind and everything was regarded as a joke

Hey or how about the one about the serial killer working at a front store inhabited by a dyke that was actually a pedophile working as a prostitute and cops were being replaced by homo fags that weren't really cops ( Mr Mercedes)