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Search - "lol nope"
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Story Time:
When I first started working where I currently am, the manager at the time decided to send us off to a conference about one of the products our institution was purchasing at the time. She also thought that it would be a good way for me, the new guy, to bond with the rest of the staff.
During the presentations we found out that the people surrounding us were not exactly developers because of a couple of things:
1. Some examples were done with php and javascript for adding functionality to said product. The product gave you the opportunity to script on top of it (think of some sort of CMS, but it does not use PHP as its backend language) EVERYONE from the "class" in this particular workshop said they were developers. But at the sight of php in a group of 80 people or so, only about 7 recognized it, including myself and my team.
2. When they showed an example with Javascript, in particular jquery, one of the dudes in the workshop said (with extreme senior level confidence might I add) "yeah I never liked Javascript because you really can't connect it to any database in a website" <--- my face went 0.o and one of the actual developers doing the presentation did a Jim from the Office and looked at some out of screen camera.
3. During a conf talk, one PHD dude showed an example in the template language the CMS used (an obscure Java based template language)in which he was proudly calling out a technique he used to include one snippet of code into another one.....at that time, one of my coworkers squinted his eyes in disbelief, got close to me and said "is this man telling everyone in here that he discovered how to include a file? like, as a new thing?" me: "lol yes", him: "this is a waste of time, do the docs for this thing show how to do it or is he doing some sort of strange maneuver for something the platform does not support?" me: "let me check....nope, it is included, for some reason he made a function that takes the...name of the file he wants to include and passes it over to that call inside of the body....which as per the docs it is the include function...." him: ".....fuck, what a waste of time and money, fuck it lets spend a couple of more minutes here and then go get a drink or something"
That last part was my favorite really, the man speaking was not just any phd holder, but a comp sci phd holder. To this day my dude would walk into my office and say shit like "I DISCOVERED HOW TO INCLUDE A FILE WITH PHP!"14 -
Was anyone forced to learn an obscure programming language during college? If so what was it and have you used it since?
Mine was ADA95 and nope lol28 -
Me: "Showtime!"
Windows: "LOL, NOPE!"
The irony in this rant is that I just installed Linux in a dualboot environment and was eager to start setting up the new OS. For some reason, Grub was not recognized and Windows started automatically... 😥4 -
This is just one I had with my cousin who came for a visit.
Cousin: Yo bro, I want you to hack my girlfriend's Facebook?
Me: Lol, and why is that?
Cousin: I think she's cheating on me with this guy. I've seen her replying to him on fb messenger.
Me: Lol, ask her about it then if that's what you think.
Cousin: She won't talk bro. That's why I want you to hack her Facebook or even her phone so I can see who she's talking to.
Me: I can't bro.
Cousin: So you're not going to help me?
Me: Not that bro. I can't hack Facebook. I don't know how to do that stuff.
Cousin: But you have Bachelor's in CS and I've seen you writing those stuff on your computer....uhm, the code thing.
Me: Yeah, but those were school and personal programming projects. Not hacking stuff.. they're not the same.
Cousin: Oh man, what about her phone?
Me: Nope, can't do that either.
Cousin: But I've seen you hacking your Android phone... (*He saw me root my phone*)
Me: *face palm*3 -
*installing linux on my mini laptop*
- Dad: "you should make a backup image of windows 10"
- Me: "LOL NOPE!"
(With 2gb of ram, linux makes it the perfect lightweight coding machine. But with W10? Jesus christ)6 -
Fresh internship story (Part 2)
I just realized how dumb my temporary boss really is and how much he loves to command everyone.
I told him that I am going earlier a few days ago and he got pissed lol.
He is someone who thinks he knows everything, but he does not.
He blames everything on everyone else.
He is never wrong, we are always wrong. That is probably what he is always thinking.
Clients who enter the store are precious (makes sense-you have to handle clients well, to get more bucks), but the thing is that he even screams near the clients at us. Besides of that I am new there. Be a little bit more patient, fucking prick.
Imho he is too old for the tech industry.
He loves to use the workers as slaves.
Do you work on a laptop rn? Well... fuck that. He has a new task waiting for you.
He keeps interrupting me every 5 to 10 minutes while I am focused.
Random dialogue from today:
me:"the client did a win10 upgrade and not a regular windows update"
boss:"nope. that is a windows update."
me (internally): should I show him the folder called "Windows10.Upgrade" and the "windows.old" folder both with the same creation date in "c:"? nah, fuck that. he is gonna put himself up again. do not want to have a stronger headache than this one I am having rn. (btw. I usually do not have headaches. I get headaches like once in 5 years, but since 4 days I have it every day.)
I am sick of this.
Today I had the urge to fucking grab his fucking "fuck me please" eyes out and eat them while he hears the explosive sounds his seperated eyes do. I still want to enjoy the rest of my life without going into a prison tho.12 -
I think I used to rage more at complete idiots when I was younger because I had the time and energy to do so
Now I've seen it at least a million times and just don't give a shit anymore -
Nope, too young.
Though some smaller kids than me DID come and ask for advice on how to start learning and I told them that they have an entire internet to learn from, there are guides online, and everything that stands between them and success is their DESIRE to learn computer science. And if they really do want to learn CS - really stick to it along the years and try to get as much head start as they possibly can.
I learned in my limited experience in software development (for the uninitiated, I am 16, started coding at 12), that you must want to learn it DEEP DOWN, because if solving problems is not your cup of tea and you don’t like thinking big, then GTFO lol.6 -
I've been using keepass for everything and just recently I've just come to realization of just how hard it is to get into my accounts now that I've done this.
Literally, I'm useless if i don't have a computer to get my passwords. (I know it's for android too, but i need the database)
I was trying to log into my spotify, but I couldn't remember my password. Then I thought, oh i know i'll just log into facebook and do it that way.
LOL JK you don't know the password
Fuck... what about my email???
LOL NOPE!
Seriously if i was held at gun point and told to log into anything I'd be dead. I've literally secured myself out of my own accounts...
I guess if there is any silver lining, it's that no-one, and I mean 'no-one' is getting into my accounts any time soon.9 -
That feeling when you are browsing a job offer and they claim they use "pure PHP".
LOL nope. I won't maintain your custom framework created by five different freelancers over the past few years and turn into something that does scream Frankenstein.
At least state that it uses composer, symfony2 components or some other microframework. I have yet to see an application that truly requires your own framework. And even when you do, base it on silex / symfony2 components. http://symfony.com/doc/current/...1 -
TL;DR: Microsoft updates break drivers, make unbootable. Hours wasted. Such rage.
Lol. I come home, try booting my windows desktop. Need desperately to play some videogames. Power is on. Monitor lights up. Bios splash. Windows startup spinner.
Suddenly, windows startup spinner gone, monitor shuts off. Wait 5 minutes, no change. Force power off and reboot, same behavior.
Google says it's probably a bad video driver. I don't remember installing any in the last month, but heck I don't use this computer for shit outside of games, so may as well do a full OS reinstall and hope the problem drivers are gone.
Reboot and force power off halfway through boot to let windows know something's wrong next boot. Literally no other way to get to alternate boot methods.
Run the reset. First time, percent-counter starts. I leave the room at 30% to go get a sandwich. Come back and it says it's "undoing changes". Something went wrong and I have no way of knowing what.
Oh well, I'll just try again and see what the problem was. NOPE! Completes windows reinstall without a hitch on the second attempt.
Okay, now let's get my stuff back on here. First things first, Microsoft updates for my processor, graphics card, "security". Halfway through the updates, monitor shuts off and I'm back to square one. IT WAS THE MICROSOFT DRIVER, NOT THE ONE FROM NVIDIA GEFORCE EXPERIENCE!!!!
Fucking Microsoft. To all ye who rail against Linux as a gaming platform because of its unstable drivers, observe here the stupidity of Microsoft and weep.3 -
Me: [jira comment] We have similar text for the mobile version of the site already. [includes screenshot of what site looks like now] Are you sure about this?
[radio silence for a few hours]
Me: [slack] I want to follow up.
Web Operations: What’s the issue?
Ooh k. Slack messages can have a tone.
Me: I just want to confirm we’re not repeating copy.
Web Ops: We’re not.
I complete the ticket and submit for review. The C-suite for my department reviews.
C-suite: [to web ops in JIRA comment] This looks weird. Is this right? [sends screenshot of my work because there is repeated copy, like I said there’d be]
Web Ops: [in JIRA comment] Oh, I thought X was questioning the request. X changed the wrong text.
C-suite: The website has always looked like that. You’re looking at X’s screenshot for the current website. Look at the screenshot I sent over.
Later, I complain because web ops was completely unprofessional with the comment about “questioning the request.”
C-suite: Web Ops is working hard. It’s our busy season and it’s their first time dealing with it. You know, I’m going to teach them some css and html so they can make content changes in the CMS and they’re not sending over changes so often and bothering you.
Me: [to myself] 🤨 wtf so it’s ok for web ops to treat me like dirt. And in writing. And with service that’s version controlled—JIRA emailed web ops comment to me. And lol no 😂 on teaching them how to code. That’s such bullshit. We all know you’d never allow them to edit the CMS because they’d fuck up the site. And they wouldn’t do edits anyway because it’s beneath them. And idk how this relates to web ops gross behavior.
A few days later.
Me: I was offered a job elsewhere. Here’s my two weeks notice.
C-suite: Can you push back your last day? It’s our busy season.
Me: Nope. Bye Felicia.1 -
this rant
https://devrant.com/rants/1622672/...
made me realise since I was little, I wanted to register
- my_surname.com (its a Hungarian name but there is a french comic strip on the site lol)
- then i wanted to register my_surname.sk since I'm from Slovakia (nope someone has a chain of petrol stations with this name)
- well its awkward but lets do my_surname.eu (my surname is the name of a traditional Hungarian needlework so no fuck you)
- ok, I'm a Hungarian so lets do my_surname.hu (well fuck you i wont even load, but I'm already taken so..)5 -
Today is thursday. Oh no.
At thursdays I have a 8h30-19 schedule (I have 1h30' of free time to go home and cry after I finish a class at 15h30 though) and there's this one class I DREAD. It's a 2h class at 17h and it's an exercise class. This wouldn't be so bad it I actually understood the code behind the exercises, because they don't teach us code in the theory classes (btw it's C. I hate that language because of all this). The teacher pretty much tells us "do this exercise", waits like 10' and then starts to (try to) explain what we're supposed to do. Oh my god.
The other day he was like "write "exec ( ... "text" ... )", compile and execute". It didn't work. Of course it didn't why would it? I was switching around between terminal, manual and text editor, to no avail. In the end he explained but I don't think I got it.
Every time I think about this class I die a little inside and start to become somewhat anxious to be honest. The theory is not that that hard, the practice part is what is killing me (I have test in 2w but I'm just gonna start studying earlier so I can go watch this match LoL).
Does someone know a good book (preferably online, if possible) or a good website on C? I really need to read that, that language is killing me.
Bonus: the other day I had to do a homework that was to be delivered. We had to write a program that read the program and its arguments like this:
./program_name
numArgs
arg1
arg2
etc
I wrote the code, had some bumps in the way, asked a colleague for help because we needed to have a custom function made that was to be done in the class but that I couldn't make because of the reasons above. Then it came the time to test. My VM broke (I think I'm gonna format my PC to try to fix that. Have installed some other versions of the VM but the installations fails or the machine doesn't start) so I sent it to said colleague to test. She said it did OK and so I sent the work to this website we have to send our works to.
"2 errors".
What? What happened? She said it worked just fine.
Looked at my code, couldn't see anything wrong.
Asked the same colleague for help.
Turns out I missed a space. A SPACE. I don't think I've ever felt so frustrated in my life. A presentation error in Java is a good thing, at least we know the program works fine, it's just the output that's wrongly formatted. But C? Nope, errors all around, oh my god. I'm still mad about it.
And I owe her a chocolate.1 -
Spend all day debugging simple post request. Like really what is going on. Super simple. Eyes start to bleed. Check spelling on everything. Finally find out the access-control-origin isn't set right, other dev said it was whatever so glad I'm moving on. Nope. Same error running the app from Visual Studio. Check code again. Everything works in a browser. Windows, VS, or the emulator is blocking just POST requests. I can do get requests all day.
What hell. I'm so critical of my code I spend hours pouring over something I knew was right instead of looking for network errors. I just need to trust myself I guess.
Oh and Windows Cordova apps don't support ES6 lol.1 -
Talent Acquisition for a company I previously turned down reached out to me again. Bragging about their business acquisitions and head count increase. Lol that means nothing to me unless you significantly improved your pretty shitty PTO policy, which is why I turned them down in the first place and explicitly told them that was the reason.
I guess they think I’m desperate because I haven’t updated my LinkedIn, so it looks like I’ve been unemployed for a year. Nope, not unemployed. Just don’t want my enemies to find me at new job.
I ranted about that place here: https://devrant.com/rants/4832237/...2 -
Update:
I've been trying to leave DoD for a couple of months now. Translating my 10 year's experience with complex Intelligence enterprise level systems to something relatable to the civilian IT world. Grabbed a few certs to help out A+, network+ and security+ with Linux+ as my next target. Photos of me working on unclassified systems, radios, cell towers and servers. I'm a teacher for military UAS so this shouldn't be to hard to get even a basic job in IT right.
No one will hire...
Linux admin: Nope
Network admin: Nope
Assistant Network admin: Nope
IT call service: Nope
Pool cleaner fucking nope
Many interviews and nothing
I'm broke and sold all of my personal valuables. I can't hold out much longer and really looking at becoming homeless. But I'm kinda ok with it, one last payment on my apartment and car is all I can do now. My parents think I'm in Afghanistan working a six figure job lol
DoD: we see you're trying to leave we'll pay you alot to teach A+, Network+ and Security+ traveling all across the country and staying at hotels with all expenses paid.
FU FU FU I want out please tell me someone has a job, I'll be a janitor of a server room Idc I just want out. Fuck the pay
I start Tuesday...4 -
I am currently playing dumb with a potential hire and it's just so much fun I don't know if I should stop.
We gave the dev a little coding challenge to code a small expense tracking app. Nothing fancy, just to see how he well he could do on his own. We told him to take as much time as he requires.
He submitted it and I tried to run it. It worked alright but I could not register or login.
I debugged the issue with him for a while and told him I would look at it later since I am tied up with other tasks..
We are communicating via an IM.
Him: Or how did you run the project. I wish I was there to run it for you. Lol
Me: dotnet run. start without debugging
Him: From the cmd?
At this point I about to get pissed. Where else would I run 'dotnet run' from??
Me: I would hope so
Him: I always run it from the cmd. With administrative privileges
Me: Really?? Where can I find cmd?
Him: Yes. Do you use a Mac?
Me: nope. I am using windows2 -
I Want nothing more than to take a break from the internet just turn my shity school ipad off for a few days but nope can't do that 3 papers due 1 test all has to be done on a school ipad with this shitty virtual keyboard never thought I would get carpel tunnel at 16 lol according to parents I don't need a computer with a screen that I don't have to cram my neck down to look at I don't need a keyboard I can use 2 hands to type with can't spend my own money on something that would improve my life allow me to do more than one thing at a time and maybe have some time for myself computers are just toys right ? they have no real use.
sorry for my useless rambling i'm just salty today6