Last semester at university we worked on a Java project and couldn't get our netbeans project to work.

We spent hours on hours to finally find out my fellow student mixed up java.lang with lava.

We added a slide in our presentation for that issue to hide the pain.

I recently got mailed by our support department.

A customer using my program experienced performance issues after updating the whole system; attached is a video recorded by the customer clearly showing the difference.

I watched the video: the old version took 20 seconds to load. The new version 26. After querying the data, it's shown in a list.

The updated version showed 61 datasets instead of 6 in the old version.

I asked the supporter if he even watched the video and he answered: sure, and I'm able to see the performance issue!

The CSS website is ugly somehow:

https://www.w3.org/Style/CSS/

This may be limited to Germany:

Apparently you can get free vouchers (from 2 to 5 euros in value) on the website "pizza.de".

There is a lottery kind of game right now on this URL: https://pizza.de/casino/

If you just open the developer console and run "win()", you "win" the game and can enter your phone number to get your voucher 🤔

What idiot programmed this?
What idiot reviewed this?
What idiot put this live?

So this fucking neighbour of mine just asked me how can I be an engineer if I don't have a printer :/ and then he asked me to create a ticketing system (he is a travel agent) for free because it's just a software.

Thank you Devrant!!

Wrote a nodejs script which reads emails from my college searching for keywords like free, food, and refreshments. When it finds one of those it notifies me that free food is somewhere on campus.

Necessity is the mother of invention

It's.. Reality

html {
design: responsive;
}

I fucking hate frontend webdeveloping... It was all nice! Vertically aligning items using flexbox etc... But then God said, "let there be cunts who use unsupported browsers!"

FUCKING HELL I HATE IT

As a long-time iPhone user, I am really sorry to say it but I think Apple has completed their transition to being a company that is incompetent when it comes to software development and software development processes.

I’ve grown tired of hearing some developers tell me about Apple’s scale and how software development is hard and how bugs should be expected. All of those are true, but like most rules of law, incompetence and gross negligence trumps all of that.

I’m writing this because of the telugu “bug”/massive, massive security issue in iOS 11.2.5. I personally think it’s one of the worst security issues in the history of modern devices/software in terms of its ease of exploitation, vast reach, and devastating impact if used strategically. But, as a software developer, I would have been able to see past all of that, but Apple has shown their true incompetence on this issue and this isn’t about a bug.

It’s about a company that has a catastrophic bug in their desktop and mobile platforms and haven’t been able to, or cared to, patch it in the 3 or so days it’s been known about. It’s about a company, who as of a view days ago, hasn’t followed the basic software development process of removing an update (11.2.5) that was found to be flawed and broken. Bugs happen, but that kind of incompetence is cultural and isn’t a mistake and it certainly isn’t something that people should try to justify.

This has also shown Apple’s gross incompetence in terms of software QA. This isn’t the first time a non-standard character has crashed iOS. Why would a competent software company implement a step in their QA, after the previous incident(s), to specifically test for issues like this? While Android has its issues too and I know some here don’t like Google, no one can deny that Google at least has a solid and far superior QA process compared to Apple.

Why am I writing this? Because I’m fed up. Apple has completely lost its way. devRant was inaccessible to iOS users a couple of times because of this bug and I know many, many other apps and websites that feature user-generated content experienced the same thing. It’s catastrophic. Many times we get sidetracked and really into security issues, like meltdown/spectre that are exponentially harder to take advantage of than this one. This issue can be exploited by a 3 year old. I bet no one can produce a case where a security issue was this exploitable yet this ignored on a whole.

Alas, here we are, days later, and the incompetent leadership at Apple has still not patched one of the worst security bugs the world has ever seen.

When you get fed up of using up and down keys to initiate commands, so you just create 2 extra command prompts and color code them so you know which one does what.

*casually programming stuff*
*Sudden need to open cmd arises*

Me: *opens cmd and starts typing, when it hits me*
"Fuck"

Friend: "what happended?"

Me: "i forgot to turn on hackermode"
*enters "color 0a"*
"Better"

Friend: *chuckles angerly*

How to learn vim like a boss (while playing a game):

https://vim-adventures.com/

Explaining difficult things in a way that they are understandable by non-expert audiences.

This helps a lot to focus on simplicity when programming. And simple means it'll get understood by your peer programmers, it is simpler to test and it will be easier to maintain, and so on...

fuuuck, I overslept today, and I have to introduce a new team nember today and I will be too late in office because of that.

OK so i take a shower, and brush my teeth and get my clothes on in under 5 minutes (which is actually very fast for me), run for my train, just made it into it, get to the next station where I have to switch trains, and then it hits me again: 8 minutes delay, OK that made it even more bad than it was vefore, because I will miss my train on the next station where I again have to switch.

I will now end up 45 minutes too late in the office, only because I overslept. I hate me

Actually I had to take over a project in my company which had a 4 months schedule. And at the time I became the PL it had an expected delay of two months, and two months were spent already! But the thing was: The customer expects results in two months.

Somehow I managed to steer the project into the other direction and we delivered within the expected timeframe with the expected feautures. And everything worked as expected.

Thanks to a wonderful team of 8 people who made this possible for me at that time!

I've got an Idea for an android app. First thing I implement?

The dark theme ofc

Normie attacks

To the editor war guys: you can use whatever you want, but nothing in a sense of integration and comfort for developers and projectmanagers beats Microsofts Visual Studio or VisualStudioCode. If you claim otherwise you just don't know VS/VSC to their full extend. God bless IntelliSense.
Excluding Java etc. Because they got an independent Ecosystem ofc.

This is my coworker keyboard.

How the fuck can someone like this?

Big IT consulting company ask us (small web agency) to develop the "html" code for a web app for their client. (They'll want the front-end to implement it in Cordova or other shit tools they use).

I had to use some "includes" in php, for header and footer, because for 50 pages it'll be tedious to edit a thing (the design is not definitive yet) without open all the .html files individually and replicate the edits in all the pages.

We've delivered the package containing all the pages and a "inc" folder for the header and the footer. The pages have the extension *.php

Their pm ask us why we didn't do it in html, since they expected that.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

When customers start a project with your company and you're the one to create the software, then after a while the communication kind gets kind of placebo'd down until there is hardly any communication and your contact only replies to / mails you every 12 weeks or so and then after almost 1 year they urge you to get their shit done asap, telling you it'd better be done yesterday but you still lack information you asked for in one of your mails.

Fun fact: the record of them not responding was 20 weeks.

I don't get much spam, but when I do, I rant about how badly those mails are crafted.

I mean, yeah, for non-devs or typical old people, those badly made Google fake mails (that use the old Google logo, the logo in Times New Roman or something) or ISP / phone company mails with malicious attachments may look good enough.

But, seriously, if I were a dev paid to create spam mails, they would look like the real deal, if I may say so myself, as I would actually put some effort in them.

What do you think? Wouldn't spam made by real developers like us be "better"?

Maybe send some examples from inside your junk box 🤔

When you're trying to publish your first Cordova app and the PlayStore release including signatures and stuff takes you 2.5 hours, while the AppStore release takes you 5 days (including getting a huge Mac on your desk, signing up a D.U.N.S. for your company, figuring out the signing/provisioning process and fixing CSS/JS exclusively for iOS).

So I tried to fix an app today that we made for a client ...

It's a Cordova project that's basically jus a wrapper for a certain section of the client's website that's displayed inside an iframe inside said app (with a bit of additional CSS and such). It's all working fine.

Said section of the website offers two to four different options to choose from, then scrolls down (triggered by JavaScript, window.scrollTop or JQuery's equivalent) to the next selection panel that's dynamically added to the DOM tree, the content's depending on what the user selected before.

The problem is, said scrolling effect inside said iframe does not work inside the iOS version of the app (does, however, when the content of the iframe is viewed (by just visiting the URL) inside Safari), instead, the iframe just scrolls back to top.

So after five and a half hours of depression, anger and rage, also some repetetive cursing towards Apple (just like every time something has to do with their awful products), my boss walks in, looks at me and says:

"I'd be fine with it, if I just had to manually scroll instead".

.........

If it wasn't 5pm already (I usually go home at 6), I would've just left the room / gone home or gotten my salad from the fridge to have something to release my anger on.

Seriously though, what the fuck!?

If a product based company rejects you then build same software and open source it.

"A different error message! Finally some progress!"

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

‪I use Linux because I enjoy unexpectedly learning how to mount an encrypted disk after a software update deletes the boot directory... on a Thursday night while other people drink beer.

*Builds a web component for a client website*

CLIENT: I don't like it, can I have it a tiny bit over to the right more

ME: Taps the arrow key a few times making it look like I'm doing something.(Which actually does nothing)

Client: 👌Perfect

😂😂😂 Wut 😂😂😂