AboutI do and do not exist. I preffer memes over social interaction. Bellow you can see list of my skills and shit. > install gentoo
SkillsEnterprise brainfuck dev, hacking using vb gui, professional asocial, IE6 and PHP5 fanboy, css programmer, source controll over dropbox, wordpress dev and certified retard, raspberrypi production server admin, radical dark background user
Joined devRant on 10/5/2017
Do all the things like ++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatarSign Up
Yep, thata right. Fuck Wordpress Raspberry Pi. Thanks to my inability to interact with proton mail filtering I just made a script that checks for a new email and if it contains words "wordpress", "help", " hack", "build" and it is not from whitelisted contact, the email is moved to the Fuckpress folder and automatic reply is sent back that I AM NOT FUCKING DOING YOUR GAYPRESS FUCKING SHIT FOR YOUR 5$ CUNT.
For two weeks I am paid 50$ an hour 6 hours a day / 5 days per week as someone called "Web deployment supervisor". The work is based on checking if the website throws an error and fixing it (devops) and staying in touc with the customer and helping him. The wevsite i wrote is just a small PHP site, well tested, almost no user input, if you dont drop whole DB it cannot basically crash. So for past week I am just copypasting documentation for the client what/how to do things. Today I already sent him same info 4 times. For me as a student and a freelance web dev it's a gold mine. I am having vacations for 14 days (thanks to damaged school water supply), getting paid 50$/hour for playing PUBG and using Ctrl+F in my Firefox, but god hell, it's so fucking psychically hard. Sometimes I have an urge to scream on that retard "I'VE SENT YOU THAT SAME SHIT 4 MINUTES AGO RETARD USE YOUR FUCKING SCROLL WHEEL IN OUR CHAT FOR FUCK SAKE".5
GNU'd just like to interGNU for a GNUment. What you’re GNUing to as GNU, is in fact, GNU/GNU, or as GNU's recently taken to GNUing it, GNU plus GNU. GNU is not an GNU GNUstem unto itGNU, but rather another GNUree GNU of a fully GNUing GNU GNUstem made GNUful by the GNU GNUlibs, GNU GNUtilties and vital GNU GNUponents GNUing a full GNU OS as GNUed by GNU. Many GNU GNUers run a GNUified GNUrsion of the GNU GNUstem every GNU, without GNUing it. Through a GNUuliar turn of GNU, the GNUrsion of GNU which is GNUly used today is often called “GNU”, and many of its GNUers are not GNU that it is GNUically the GNU GNUstem, GNUed by the GNU ProjGNU. There really is a GNU, and these GNUple are GNUing it, but it is GNU a GNU of the GNUstem they use. GNU is the GNU: the GNU in the GNUstem that GNUs the GNU’s GNU to the other GNU that you GNU. The GNU is a GNUtial GNU of an GNU GNUstem, but GNUless by itGNU; GNU can only GNUtion in the GNUtext of a GNUplete GNU GNUstem. GNU is GNUmally used in combiGNUtion with the GNU GNU GNUstem: the whole GNUstem is GNUsically GNU with GNU added, or GNU/GNU. All the so-called “GNU” distribGNUtions are really distribGNUtions of GNU/GNU.4
There is no such a thing as a good dev days. There are only bad and worse days. Unless you are millionaire and you don't have to deal with clients.
When you are trying to debug Android apps and need to find small string in that huge spam logcat is giving you...3
My dreams came true. My first ++ shower. I would like to thank my mother, my father, sister, dog, brother, classmates and @bitsnpieces for believing in me and showing me such a support and love. Thank you! ❤1
I really want to make my own anonymous blog, but I am scared that someone will expose me after I write there something recognisable. 😒20
The ultimate "I am vegan" guy will be arch linux user, vegan, trans, crossfitter and cryptocurrency investor. I've just met guy like this in my job. He did not shut up for a while. I am not sure whats he doing and whats his job but my guess is that hes paid for spreading cancer, sucidal toughts and eatig your will to live and talk with people...
R - retard
M - me
R: Hey CopyPasteCode I found this bug, it does 'this' insted of 'this'. *spreads arms to see his "muscles"*
M: *headphones off* Ok, I will look into it... *headphones back on*
R: Btw you invested something in the crypto, didnt you? Ive invested... ...bitcoin... ...crypto... ...litecoin..., do you think that... ...something... ...bla bla bla?
M: *tries not to kill myself after his 5 minutes of monolog* Ye sure
R: By the way Ive found this awesome vegan restaurant that accepts litecoin, would you like to come sometime?
M: *10 minutes monolog about vegan food and shit. At this point I want to die* Ok, I will now work on that back, see you later.
R: ye sure bro (wtf, "bro"?)... *looks like hes walking away* *teleports on my otger side touching my monitor*
WOW you are also a Limux user? 😮 Ivr installed arch linux this weekand and its so awesome, *another 6 minutes of monolog*
M: *smiling and preparing to kill him or myself* Nice, awesome *fake smile*
R: Anyway, I gotta go (FINALLY!!!), btw, I am going to the *name of local trans and gay club*, wanna go with me?
M: *after a month after a breakup with my GF (because she was cheating on me) which everyone in the office knew...)* Not really *trying to thing how to say "fuck off" without having meeting with HR*, I cant, I already have somethimg.
R: Oh, ok. Btw, you are rly cool bro (again), we should hang. We should hangout more often...
I hope someone is paying me for loosing 27 minutes with this guy.14
Ok, so teacher (which should be something like a professional dev or whatever) assigned us a homework for a Christmas (I dont care, I can complete his assignments in like 10 minutes max). We have to do some simple shit in C++, just some loops and input + output. Nothing hard. He challenged me to write it as short as possible, so I did. My classmates have codes around 60 to 70 lines long (after propper formating). I made it 20 lines long using some pointer magic and stuff like that. I tried my code, it ran fucking perfectly, so I sent that to him. He replied that the code does not work. I tried to recompile it and it ran perfectly. Again, it does not work. Afeter 13 fucking emails he fucking finally sent me the error message. Some fucntion was not found (missing some library but literally everywhere else it works without it...). Thats strange, because it run perfectly on my Fedora with CLion, so I switch to Windows and try to run same code in Visual Studio (which we are using in school btw). Works perfectly. So I start arguing with the teacher more and more. I tried around 10 online compilers. Works fuckng everywhere. Teacher is pissed, me too. So I rewrote my whole code, added comments and shit, reinvented wheel literally everywhere. Now I have C99 standardised code over 370 lines long that run even on a fucking arduino after changing input output methods so it can work with it. It (suprisingly runs) on his PC too.
After a bit more arguing, he said that he is using CodeBlocks from fucking 2015. Wow. Just fucking wow. Even our school has some old Visual Studio (2007 I guess) and it worked there.7
Everytime I see someone from Netherland complaining about their internet speeds I get angrier at IPSs. Amsterdam is the fucking biggest node on the fucking planet, if you can not get at least 25/10 in there, your IPS should just fucking die.1
So, finally I can rant after a while.
After I stopped helping people coding online few months ago, because I was getting literally spammed 24/7 by everyones shitty multi-million dollar ideas, I introduced few of my classmates in to coding. Now, after ~6 months, I am spammed by my classmates by their awesome programming ideas which are too hard for them but they are sure its gonna be awesome. The difference is, that I cant say "FUCK OFF AND STOP SPAMMING MY INBOX WITH YOUR FUCKING IDEAS" to my friends and block them. Please fucking kill me. Once more someone will start messaging me their fucking idea
-of writing one
-long and propper
I am gonna swim with a toaster. 😡5
Week80: Not my family or friend, but last time I used my notebook in a bus to school when I had to finish my homework (because as always, literally evrything is more interesting than programming class homework) random woman came to me, nocked on my shoulder and asked when I had terminal open when compiling "Sir do you know that this is not legal?" pointing at my screen. 😂
My familly thinks that I am a magican that can fix their printer and recover their desktop icons "because I did something wrong with it" after not touching their PC for months. I wonder who deleted those icons (*pointing finger at my father*)
My friends think that I am some magican nerd who can build websites for them all for every single stupid "teen business idea" they have and I can hack all their ex's FB. 😂😂
My friend ha just big exam in their programming class. They got the assignment week before and were allowed to use libraries. They were using Java and Maven repos. He created his own Maven repo and added finished assignment as a library. He just added his repo to the gradle project and selected his library as a dependecy. He then created one class with main method, 10 lines of user input and called main method from his library. Since the school newly tests students work automatically, he instantly passed with 100% and had to look like hes actually working for next 3 hours 😂. Noone noticed anything after 2 weeks 😂1
RegEx is same magic as machine learning. You punch the keyboard untill you get desired output, just a bit less cool.9
OK ONCE MORE MY EYES WILL SEE THIS RETARDS CODE I AM GONNA MAKE 9/11 A FUCKING JOKE
This retard was able to make something simple as a some sorting algorithm not like everyone else quicksort with big O notation around O(n) , or like some other students some wired implementation of bubble sort with their O(n^2), or just copypaste first result on google after you search C++ sorting algorythm, this guy was able to use all kinds of "O'RLY?"s meme books, for example "Copypasting code from StackOverflow", "Obscuring your code using C pointer magic", "Trying stuff untill it works" and "Using convulted programming practices to piece together somewhat functional product". While everyone else was able to implement such shit in like a 100 lines, this retard was able to create something literally noone else understood. 3 hunderd lines of some magic that I was able to understand with teacher after 25 minutes of literal reverse engineering his shitty code. He is not good or smart, he just have no idea what's he doing so he is programming by trial end error and after it makes code that does the job, he submit it to the teacher. We were not able to test his code on Arduino we are running our code on (which I think is pretty cool since it pushes (most of) us to make faster and smarter code), because his code literally used more RAM than the Arduino has so he got F after wasting around 10 hours on this magic code since our teacher wants us to understand that code and explain it - which he obviously was not able to do. I guess that sales of my homework codes will go up for our next homework. 😂
TL:DR: Guy used some C++ magic, failed his homework after around 10 hours of work/copypasting from StackOverflow, got F and wrote code not with bigO(n^2) notation but with "yo mama fat O(n^n) notation"4
After creating my own PHP MVC framework with Twig as templating engine, everything is now so simple and so fast, I juat cant belive how much I understand now. The development is just so smooth, you know exactly what to do all the time... And for my simple project, it does not even hurt that much to use PHP (and its even strictly typed 7.2, so not that bad). I think that I am in love. ❤7
This happend to me around 2 weeks ago. For some reason, I decied to post this now.
I won the lottery, yey! I mean, bot really, but I am <19yo student, "less than junior dev" in my office, but sonce I am the only one who is capable of working with hardware, I was working month back as a sysadmin for a few days. Our last sysadmin was really good working but really, really toxic guy, so he got fired on a spot after argument with some manager or whatever, no big deal, we could have another guy hired in a week. But, our backup server literally was on fire, all data probably dead because bad capacitor or whatever. This was our only backup of everything at the time. Everyone in full fucking panic mode, we had literally no other working HW we could use for backup, but then comes me, intern employed on his first dev job for 3 months. That day I bought some HW for my own personal server at home (Intel NUC with some Celeron, 4GB DDR4 RAM and two 240GB SSDs for RAID 1. My manager asked everyone in the office for sollution how to survive next 4 days before new server arrives. People there had no idea what tk do and no knowedgle about HW, I just came from a break and offered my components for a week, since there was noone else who can work with HW, servers and stuff like this, manager offered me $500+HW cost if I, random intern, can make it work. I installed Debian on that little PC, created RAID1 from both SSDs, installed MySQL server and mirrored GIT server from our last standing server (we had two before one of them went lit 🔥), made simple Python script to copy all data on that RAID, with some help of our database guy copied whole DB from production to this little computer and edited some PHP so every SQL request made on our server will run on that NUC too. Everything after ±2 hours worked perfectly. Untill a fucking PSU burned in our server and took RAID controller with him in sillicon heaven next night, so we could not access any data unltill we got a new one. Thanks to every god out there, I was able to create software RAID from survived HDDs on our production server and copy all data from that NUC on the servers software RAID and make it working at 3 AM in the night before an exam 😂. Without this, we would be next ±40 hours without aerver running and we might loose soke of our data and customers. So my little skill with Linux, Python, MySQL and most importantly my NUC hardware I got that day running as a backup server saved maybe whole company 😂.
Btw, guess who is now employee of the year with $2500 bonus? 😀
Sorry for bragging and log post, but I was so lucky an so happy when everything worked out, good luck to all sysadmins out there! 👍
TL:DR: Random intern saved company and made some money 😂7
Rule 34 ½: For every programming problem, there is already related XKCD, StackOverflow question and indian guy explaining it on YouTube. <321
List of ideas for devrant ❤
@dfox Can we get some text formating for our rants? Something like simple markdown like facebooks web messenger.com has (italic, bold, crossed over text (lined through) and code). I dont want tables, colored text and such things since that would make everything extremly unconsistent.
Second thing is reffering to user by id and not by actual name on the server side, because when user changes their nickname it brokes all previous rants and comments where are these users tagged.
Third idea search ability so we could search for rants, uers and tags, this would make our life so much easier
Add ++ and -- tracking with graphs and shit so wr can see how much dev we become over time6
At this point I fucking hate my project. After 3 months I literally can not concentrate, I am just staring on a screen, smashing my hands on the keyboard and praying that it will fucking work without bugs. At this point it still works pretty well. I am so sorry for everyone that will have to work on this after I leave. According to the project leader it should not take more than 20 more hours. Hes a really cool guy, but if he's going to talk optimistically about this fucking project once more I am gonna rape his wife and his dog. Last fucking time he said that its just 2 already implemented features that just need to get connected together, I spent 30 hours rewriting half of the codebase because how inconsistent and shitty the code was. I am not fuckin suprised that we are going to rewrite whole shit from a scratch, because the code is already unmaintainable. Wish me luck, because I really need it to survive another week working on this trash.1
I have a project idea:
Web app that will automatically generate random like-a-facebook project ideas that will handle the buisness side and automatically post that offer on multiple forums, linkedin and send email with it. All using AI, Nural Networks, Big Data and VR.
Seriously, once fucking more some african or indian guy messages me to work for his awesome "its like a facebook but different" idea where he needs "just backend, frontend and mobile apps" and that he will just "handle the rest" and that "have no money now but after I sign a NDA he will give me some shares", I am gonna find him and shit on his head. Monday did not even ended yet and I already read 9 "offers" like this on my mail and facebook, only one guy white, rest indians or africans.
Why are then people suprised that we consider black and indian devs as a fucking joke 90% of the time. I have a indian dev friend and he could not find a dev job for 2 months, because everyone would rather work with less skilled asian / white guy than indian / black guy. This is not about racism, but about those retards that are acting like idiots. Hope I did not offend anyone (unless you do shit like this, then, please just smash your keyboard over your head).
Words like AI and neural networks are used just to lure the investors to our gofundme campain and steal their money after 2 years of silence.1
Do you also hate that feel when you have to deal with 110% idiot? Today, BTC hit 5000$ mark, right now it was 5200$. Media are now full of BTC. Me with my friend, having lunch.
Me: Wow, BTC is finnaly over 5k$.
Friend: Wow, I will just wait till it gets to 5500$ and then buy so I can sell it for kore when price drops.
Me: *trying to explain that if you want to profit you need to buy when its cheap and sell when its expensive*
Friend: No you are lying thats bullshit *ragequit*
It really hurts since he is really smart, especially good in math and logical thinking... 🙄15
As much as I love opensource I hate really hate some of its actvie community members (read this as "freetards" <-- see urbandictonary). As a .Net + web devloper with minimal C experience (I just started learning it) and literally no Python experience its not really easy to contribute for me to many (most) opensource software for linux. I am using some <unnamed software> and I found a <critical bug>, it was easy to reproduce and I wrote for list of possible solutions, found it in a code and linked and basically wrote a docummentation longer than any other I ever wrote for every single project I did ever, combined. This <software> was critical for my server and since owner of github repo and few other people there were really active, I hoped that this bug with pretty good documentation will be solved fast, I went to my bed with a heroic feeling of an open source community contributor that helped saving world. I was horribly wrong. Tomorrow, I got 3 passively agressive responses from owner and other 2 freetards that summed up said <other1>:"oh thats nice, fix i yourself and commit it", <other2>:"have a sex with yourself" in a nice way, and <owner>: "fix my softwate and create mrege request". After replying that I have no experience my Python skills are not on a level requied for such an action, he messaged me on twitter I have linked to my GitHub profile saying even less nicely that I am a "retarded c*nt" and that I should learn Python and fix it myself. This makes me stay with my Windows based Server for some time now, fuck this. I googled his github nickname and guess what. Our main freetard is admin on an <unnamed linux forum> and mebmber of many other "computer help" with literally half of his posts just slightly toxic posts about how everyone should use linux and how supreme it is ober anything other, the other hals was crying why linux has only 1% of market share. Oh boi I am not sure why but ITS MAYBE BECAUSE OF FREETARDS LIKE YOU.
And the funnies thing is, hes not only freetard, he is just fullstack retard. One of his posts is "helping" to some <noob windows user> installing Linux. tl:dr for this las part: Freetard basically wiped all data of that <noob>.
PS: Bless everyone who do not respond "oh nice, now you can do it yourself"11