Details
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SkillsPHP, Java, JavaScript, Objective C
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LocationBrussels, Belgium
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Website
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Github
Joined devRant on 8/17/2016
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This guy at my last internship. A windows fanboy to the fucking max!
He was saying how he'd never use anything related to Linus Torvalds because he hated him for creating Linux.
Two seconds later I saw him initializing a new git repo.
I was standing there like:
*should I tell him?*
😅😆65 -
I got attacked by ransomware and was asked for money...
I sent them my salary slip..They removed it from my computer immediately..
I wanna cry.14 -
Coding Teacher: "you'll need your laptops for the exam. To prevent you from cheating I'll disable the network now"
...pulls out the network cable on his machine...
"okay you can start now"
🤦🏻♂️17 -
A story about how a busy programmer became responsible for training interns.
So I was put in charge of a team of interns and had to teach them to work with Linux, coding (Bash, Python and JS) and networking overall.
None of the interns had any technical experience, skills, knowledge or talent.
Furthermore the task came to me as a surprise and I didn't have any training plan nor the time.
Case 0:
Intern is asked to connect to a VM, see which interfaces there are and bring up the one that's down (eth1). He shuts eth0 down and is immediately disconnected from the machine, being unable to connect remotely.
Case 1:
Intern researches Bash scripting via a weird android app and after a hour or so creates and runs this function: test(){test|test&}
He fork-bombed the VM all other interns used.
Case 2:
All interns used the same VM despite the fact that I created one for each.
They saved the same ssh address in Putty while giving it different names.
Case 3:
After explicitly explaining and demonstrating to the interns how to connect to their own VMs they all connect to the same machine and attempt to create file systems, map them and etc. One intern keeps running "shutdown -r" in order to test the delay flag, which he never even included.
Case 4:
All of the interns still somehow connect to the same VM despite me manually configuring their Putty "favorites". Apparently they copy-paste a dns that one of them sent to the entire team via mail. He also learned about the wall command and keeps scaring his team members with fake warnings. A female intern actually asked me "how does the screen knows what I look like?!". This after she got a wall message telling her to eat less because she gained weight.
Case 5:
The most motivated intern ran "rm -rf" from his /etc directory.
P.S. All other interns got disconnected because they still keep using his VM.
Case 6:
While giving them a presentation about cryptography and explaining how SSH (that they've been using for the past two weeks) works an intern asked "So is this like Gmail?".
I gave him the benefit of the doubt and asked if he meant the authorization process. He replied with a stupid smile "No! I mean that it can send things!".
FML. I have a huge project to finish and have to babysit these art majors who decided to earn "ezy cash many" in hightech.
Adventures will be continued.26 -
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
- DoS Attack20 -
For those who are involved/want to be involved in a start-up (or even if you just like a good blog), look up James Altucher. He writes really entertaining and informative stuff about entrepreneurship, software, and good advice about keeping stress under control, coming up with ideas, and staying positive.1
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Boss: I need to demo our product but it looks smaller on my laptop.
Me: That is because you have a 1920x1080 monitor and your laptop is 1280x800
Boss: Is that something you can fix?
Me: No you will need a new laptop, but the company has a sales laptop with that resolution.
Boss: No just get the company credit card and buy me one today!
*Bosses son hears*
Bosses Son: Here take the sales laptop
Boss: Will that be quick enough
Bosses Son: It has a 8 core i7 Processor, 16GB ram and a dedicated GPU
Boss: *looks at me confused*
Me: Your demoing a web browser, that will be more then ok. But were using chrome so 16GB of ram will be pushing it.
*me and bosses son laughs*
Boss: Can we upgrade it?17 -
You guys, I think I know what is it....I think I know why I wanted to be a developer.
It started off innocently enough. I was a young lad in IT. Wide-eyed. Absorbing anything and everything I could. Then, the asshole clients came.....
I would put on my best customer service face on, and address the client as calmly and as respectfully as I could. Reminding myself that their frustration is understandable.
To deal with the increased time dealing with clients took, I developed scripts to help me handle maintenance and keep my head above water. I developed scripts to streamline equipment provisioning for big deployments. I developed scripts to handle other technicians who didn't log-off the phone queue and fucked up our on-call flow. I put in place email rules to sift through the bullshit and time wasters.
I became a developer to streamline and make myself as efficient as possible. But the clients keep nagging. The bullshit keeps coming. The other players get in your fucking way.
There is no end you guys.... THIS IS ONLY TUESDAY. I can't script the passage of time. I'm....I'm.... I need a fucking nap.1 -
I'm sure most PHP peeps have come across the "Faker" library, which generates a plethora of random content for you.
Let this be a warning to you.
Today I used their "realText()" (see: https://github.com/fzaninotto/...) method when seeding a database for a client, which, oddly enough, generates text using real words.
The client wasn't too impressed and asked me why I would type in "So she began nursing her fat again" as a sample Faq. It required an email and call to the client to explain it was all auto generated text and I didn't type anything myself.
Should probably just use their basic lipsum text methods next to generate some gibberish :)3 -
OK, so I get that we don't have a great reputation for dating but at the same time it's kinda rubbing salt in the wound when a dev company organises a global coding challenge for valentines day.3
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I used to work with a guy who had 2 PH.Ds, in Computer Science and Electrical Engineering and over 600 patents but I kid you not the guy could not use the coffee machine. Now it's not like this coffee machine was as easy as a Keurig, it was some $20,000 espresso machine that took a while to figure out but I tried teaching him how to use it a few dozen times and still he couldn't get it right. It got to the point where I thought he was faking it so that others would make it for him so I offered him $500 if he could figure it out. Still nope. So for the remaining 2 years we worked together I made him coffee whenever he wanted, 2-4 times a day, and he bought me lunch everyday. Before I left the company I bought him a Keurig so that when I left he'd still have coffee.19