Me the other night...

get david() { /* ... */ }

My favourite DJ, david getter!

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┓┏┓┏┓┃ Deploys
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So, do you code?

Disclaimer: this rant has nothing to do with programming, but I'm a dev and need to rant. My 11 year old sister joined the illuminati. Yeah you heard that right. Let's start.

I wake up to 8 missed calls from my mom. I call her back and she asks how to reset a Gmail password, I tell her and nonchalantly joke about her being forgetful. She then says "it's because your sister joined the illuminati". I take a step back. Did I hear that right?!

Much to my surprise, I did. Turns out some girl at her school said that a demon named Penny would visit her while she slept and kill her, unless my sister joined the illuminati. I thought the whole point of that group is to be secretive, but whatever. Props to my sister for finding the website and figuring out how to sign up, although it's not that hard.

My sister is so scared now that she has to meet up with a priest every week to protect her from demons. My mom is meeting with school administration to find out what to do about these threats, and also to find out how the illuminati got involved. You can't make this stuff up. I'm now tasked with getting back into her Gmail, iPad, and Google hangouts account to retrieve the messages she has been receiving from her bully. Immediately after the phone call, I walked into the elevator on my floor and someone had taped up the illuminati sign. What an interesting day I've had.

Yeah perfect date 🤓#date #format

When your code does what you have not expected.

Credit: skillprogramming.com

Respect

Parents with computer problems

Then they say

The ER diagram of the system we are working with. I'm not kidding

This is why we hate being interrupted...

How to get fired (no pun intended)

Interviewer:Explain us deadlock and we'll hire you !

Me:Hire me and I'll explain it to you..

Pleb: "What's your job?"
Me: "I'm a programmer."
Pleb: "Great, because I have a problem with my pri..."
Me: "STOP! Last person who thought I was a printer support serf got strangled with the printer cable."
Pleb: "But it's a wireless printer."
Me: "Right, where's the power cord?"

Hahahaha

Student walks into tutoring center halfway through the semester for a computer science appointment and their first question is "How do I declare an int?"
Me: 😐

Listening to two girls argue about how thin their eyebrows are is what you deserve for forgetting your headphones at home

Okay so I have a stressball, but the kind of fucked up stress I was in the last two days required more than just my stressball.. I Okay so I have a stressball, but the kind of fucked up stress I was in the last two days required more than just my stressball.. I really need a punching bag..

FUCK!!

EDIT:
I'm not only feeling stressed, but I also have A LOT of anger inside me.

Anyone else sick of all the whining about college on here? It’s a CS degree. They are going to teach you science. Not to mention that Stack Overflow did a survey in 2015 and found that nearly half the developers didn’t have degrees. If you’re so much smarter than your professors then you should have no problem finding a job. Of course, if you’re lucky enough to not have to pay for school; you should just be thankful that you’re a step up in going for management positions and shut up. On the other hand, if you’re paying (going into debt) for school; then maybe you should take a step off the safe and well-trodden path and put a little faith in yourself. There is an abundance of free training online. I thought devs were supposed to be free-spirited rebels. Didn’t any of you see ‘Hackers’?

Yale is renaming Calhoun College after Grace Murray Hopper, one of the pioneers in computer science. Pretty cool!

how the qa tests my code

In work we have a ticketing system for changes etc. I try and do a bit of each at a time so it looks like I have loads to do... Then I finish all of them together and clear my tickets

Buy a bar

legit question

Oh boy...

Will this work on a 32-bit system?

My worst hackaton experience is not having participated in one :'(

Headphones on
Start Soundcloud/Osu! Playlist
Open IDE

Optional:
Get a german shepherd to protect me from obstacles called "coworkers"

Windows user will understand!