Reddit is the worst place on the internet

Friday deployment yay!
Bye bye weekend 👋.

So, appearantly "excel" is a programming language.
And I am rejected couse "I don't even know main computer programs".
FML

Keeping up with new JS frameworks is like keeping up with celebrity gossip. It really isn't useful on it's own but you can talk to other people about it and be perceived as woke.

!rant

Just watched the intern pull a beer from the beer fridge, and it's only 11:15am. What a fucking champion.

Owner of company I freelance for: I need you to find out what CMS [website] is running in.

[Checking...]

Me: It's running in Drupal

Owner: Prove to me that it's running in Drupal, because she's saying you're wrong.

Me: Who the hell is "she"?

Owner: The boss over at [PR Company we do work for]

Me: Is she a developer?

Owner: No, of course not. She barely knows how to run a computer.

Me: Then tell I said it's running in Drupal, and if she wants proof, tell her I'm the developer she has begged to fix two other failing projects and I have delivered both times ahead of schedule.

Owner: If you don't show me proof, I'll fire you. I don't need attitude from my employees.

Me: A.) I'm not your employee, you are my client. I don't clock in for you and you don't withhold taxes from my pay. B.) If that's how you want to be, tell her to use terminal and cURL the website for the response header, as well as cross-reference folder structure for CSS/JS file inclusion to show it's running in Drupal.

Owner: What the fuck is terminal?

Me: If you don't know what terminal is, neither will she, meaning you have no business telling me how to do my job. Stick with assigning me tasks and let me use my expertise to get them done. Micromanaging need not apply here, mmm'kay pumpkin?

Owner: You sure are grouchy today.

Me: Yep...

The exact moment when I understood what programming actually was.

I was getting hard times at my 3rd college grade, trying to implement the recursive sudoku solver in python. Teacher spent a lot of time trying to explain me things like referential transparency, recursion and returning the new value instead of modifying the old one and everything related. I just couldn't get it.

I was one of the least productive students, i couldn't even understand merge sort.

I was struggling with for loops and indexes, and then suddenly something clicked in my head, like someone flipped a switch, and i understood everything i was explained, all at once. It was like enlightenment, like pure magic.

I had sudoku solver implemented by the end of the lecture. Linked list, hash map, sets, social graphs, i got all of these implemented later, it wasn't a problem anymore. I later got an A for my diploma.

Thank you @dementiy, you were the reason for my career to blast off.

Just found the best dev ever.

https://alcohollick.com/tfw.html

WhatsApp, freaking WhatsApp.
How did this thing become such a standard. How? Why does everyone EXPECT you to have it. They assume that you have it installed on your phone.

'Why don't you respond to my messages? '

'Which messages? '

'The ones I sent you'

'I didn't get any messages. Wait, how did you send them to me? '

'WhatsApp'

'Ah, yeah I don't use that. Wait, where did you even get my phone number from? '

'What? You don't have WhatsApp? Freaking weirdo. '

'bye'

How did an app(lication) become such a standard and why does everyone automatically assume that you have it? And whenever I explain them why I don't use it (Facebook = bad), they just react with 'install it again' (most ridiculous answer) or 'what is wrong with you' or they just give me a confused look and walk away.

A lot of them also act like there were no alternatives (some even better than whatsapp). One of them and probably also the best one is signal. It has all the necessary features a messaging app needs and is also very secure.

Luckily a few of my friends have installed signal and I am currently trying my best at my parents. They have threatened to 'take my phone away if I don't install WhatsApp again' or 'if you don't use WhatsApp then you also don't need a phone'.

Okay finale:

Fuck whatsapp, fuck facebook, fuck ignorance

1969 vs 2017

So, someone submitted a 'bug' to Mozilla.

As some of you may know, in the next year, the new mass surveillance law in the Netherlands is going into effect.

Another fun fact is that the dutch security agencies/government have their own CA (Certificate Authority) for SSL/TLS certificates.

The new law says that the AIVD (dutch NSA/GCHQ equivilant) is allowed to hack into systems through obtained certificates and also that they're allowed to INTERCEPT TRAFFIC THROUGH OBTAINED PRIVATE SSL/TLS KEYS.

So someone actually had the fucking balls to submit a fucking issue to Mozilla saying that the Dutch State certs shouldn't be accepted anymore when the new mass surveillance law gets into place.

This person deservers a fucking medal if you ask me.

One of my friends purchased a bootable USB of ubuntu for around 40 USD.

Damn you JS!

Aaaaaaaaand..... I printed my own devkeyring!!!! 😍😍

Alright people, I'm gonna be blunt here, which is something not often seen from me. Thankfully this platform is used to it.

I am absolutely sick of people hating Windows/MacOS just because of the fucking practices of the companies. Let's take a look at a pro/con list of each OS type respectively.

Windows:
Pro - Most computers built for it
Pro - Average consumer friendly
Pro - Most games made for it
------------------------------------------
Con - Proprietary
Con - Shady info collection (disableable)
Con - Can take some work to customize
~
Linux:
Pro - Open source
Pro - Hundreds of versions/distros
Pro - Incredibly customizable on all fronts
------------------------------------------
Con - Can have limited modern hardware support
Con - The good stuff has a steep learning curve
Con - Tends to have unoptimized programs or semi-failed copies of Windows programs
~
MacOS:
Pro - Actually quite secure in general
Pro - Optimized to all hell (on Apple devices)
Pro - Usually just works
------------------------------------------
Con - Only (legally) usable on Apple devices
Con - Proprietary
Con - Locked down customization
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

See? None of them are perfect. Fucking get over it already. Maybe I want to use Windows because it works for me, and it actually does what I need it to. I can disable the spying shit through a few nice programs. Just because I work in IT doesn't mean that I HAVE to hate Windows and LOVE Linux! I mean, Linux is absolutely SPECTACULAR for all of my servers, but as a Desktop OS? Not there for me yet. Check one of my other rants: https://devrant.com/rants/928935/... and you'll see a lot of my gripes with Linux that Windows actually executes well. FUCK!

When you go make coffee and return to your code and see

let foo =

and you have no idea wtf was going to come next...

Thank you makers

Do you ever talk to yourself out loud while thinking/programming/debugging? (Not a rubber duck in sight, because that makes it okay?)

I need to avoid making this a habit..

Me: What? Why is this even an error?

Someone: What?

Me: What?

Just wanted to say cheers to all those coders among you who make sure their login is encrypted, their passwords are hashed and salted, their codes are tested and their forms are code injection safe.

No client will understand what you did, so take my props for it! After all, its our responsibility to make sure software is secure. That's all :)

Person: Check out this “savage” file!

Me: Huh?

Person: *Shows SVG file*

🙄

When code is more important than life

When you're on vacation with only a cheap Chromebook, but just had an idea for a new feature.

so, i hear you working on linux and love some designs.
show me your .bashrc !

me:

The real truth.

Finally got a job I see myself staying in more than 2 years :) A boss that give us time to write / read blog posts.
Flexible work life.
Working with all the new stuff like dotnet core, docker :)

Watched this movie called Unthinkable where the guy who is supposed to defuse the bomb is typing gibberish into Excel 😂😂😂

Microsoft is just one big fucking virus

Hey @dfox, @trogus, the birds on the shoulder are super pimp, but would you be interested in making a parrot? You know, to go along with a Hawaiian shirt, an eye patch, and a pirate hat?

That'd be metal af \m/\m/

Manager: Write a function to get tomorrow's date.

Kids:

int getTomorrowsDate() {
return getCurrentDate() + 1;
}

Legends:

int getTomorrowsDate() {
sleep(1000*60*60*24);
return getCurrentDate();
}

Ok so my server was really dirty and slow and I got tired of it.... So I decided to give it a bath.