I really hate people who prefer this coding style:

if (condition)
{
// something shitty here
}

Instead of this:

if(condition){
// perfectly clean code
}

Person: "Shall I put PHP inside HTML or HTML inside PHP?"
Person: *sudo apt-get install nodejs*

STOP IT.
FUCKING STOP.
NO MORE "I SPENT N HOURS SEARCHING A MISSING SEMICOLON"
"I DELETED A SEMICOLON IN MY COLLEGES WORK"
"REWROTE MY CODE BECAUSE MY COLLEAGUE DELETED A SEMICOLON"
OR ANY OTHER SEMICOLON RELATED RANT'S / MEME'S.
Maybe they were funny the first time. But IT'S OVER.
If it should really happen to you, you're using the wrong tools.
If it happens to you even though you're using the right tools, LEARN to use them.
If it does happen to you after that FIND A NEW HOBBY OR JOB, YOU DON'T BELONG HERE.

Thanks for your time - link this rant on any semicolon related rant.

** DOES ALSO APPLY TO MISSING BRACKETS, QUOTES, TABS, SPACES, KIDS, JEHOVAS WITNESSES, MONEY, FLYS, SOCKS, FACIAL HAIR, WINDOWS UPDATES **

New avatar items! (checkered shirts, skull tee, dual monitors, new facial hair, and more!)

I worked with this guy at a startup one time, and just to annoy me, he would write commit comments describing how I was such a bad developer, or how I was such a horrible person. After like the 15th time he did this, I decided to be totally unprofessional and do the same for him... our commit comments quickly turned into a conversation where we would just insult each other (as a joke).

The original developers of the startup no longer work there (including me and him)... I wonder who's reading those comments now.

The first time I decided to hack around a bit:D

One of my teachers made a quiz software, which is only used by him(his lectures are about databases), and it is highly unsecure. When I heard that it is written in C# I decided to look in it's source code. The biggest problem I ran into: this program is only available on the computers in his classroom, and he monitors the computers display. However, I successfully put it into my pendrive without getting caught.

So when I got home, I just had to use a .NET decompiler(in this case: dotPeek) to get the fully functional source code. The basic function of the program was to download a quiz from his database server, and when it was finished, grade it client-side. Than, I realized how bad it was: It contains the number of questions, the number of correct and incorrect answers.
I've just made a modified .exe, which contained really little modification(like correctAnswers=maxQuestions, incorrectAnswers=0). Everything looks the same, you just have to click over it, and everytime it will return with 100%.

And the bonus: The program connects to the database as a user with root access, and without password. I was able to log in, download(dropping was available too, but didn't try) databases(with all the answers) and so on.

Never had to use it though, it was just a sort-of experience gaining.:)

Intelligence had a future till...

I feel like people don't understand what I mean when I say "I'm a console gamer"

Everyday i used to spend an hour in the morning reading emails.

Until i made a script that reads all mails, parses to urgent/priorities/meetings etc. Then shows me a dashboard of everything. 1 hr turned to 20mins max.

Then i made a chatbot out of it and now i just talk to it everytime and gives me the rundown.

Gave me so much time to code instead of reading fucking emails.

I have an interview with one of the big 4 in 2 weeks.

The post is for a java dev, they contacted me even though I'm a PHP dev.

I know the interview questions will be in java... What do I do??? :-(

I worked with java for the last time 2 years ago...

I'll take home.

the best friends
#dom #jquery #programming #coding

Fixed!

When you don't test EVERYTHING...

What did function() say to main ()?

Call me maybe

Why are there so many germans on devrant?

Im german too

Soo true!

My screens have a different height, but luckily I solved the problem with c++

You always amaze me Windows!

Finally!

As a German I approve

When the documentation is just perfect👌👌

So tomorrow's my first day as a Junior Developer.
Any tips?

That moment when you walk into the office on your first day, while setting up your desk they ask you which mouse you would like to use, and you respond "oh no thank you I prefer my trackpad" and the whole office stops what their doing and gives you that look...

99% of the devs be like

catch(Exception e)
{
// Not a single fuck given
}

The week before project deadline...

Client sends me support email concerning the CMS.

There's not enough details to go on, esp. browser info, so I ask her to fill out a support ticket.

She does, but doesn't enter any browser info, AND mistypes her email address so I have to correct it to reply to the right email.

I send her to whatbrowseramiusing.co and ask her to send the info to our support email address.
She emails support directly with these words: "I am using Google bowser".

I reply: click "Send to my designer" on whatbrowseramiusing.co and I give her exact steps to fill out the three form fields

She replies: "There is no 'Send to my designer', I only get the option to buy the domain."

I'm like "Whut?!" Did you mistype the URL? Why don't you click the link in the email? (Paraphrase)

This time I get an official email from whatbrowseramiusing.co, telling me that the client is using Safari 5.0.5. Which is five years old.

At that point I replied and said we really can't support this older browser, and included a link to the Firefox download page.

Customer: can you clone x over y?
sre: <done>

2hrs later....

Customer: can you revert the clone?

me: do you know what is so great about UDP jokes?
you: No
me: the fact that i don't care if you got them.

i would like 2 please