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Is this the code life
Another scrum meeting
Caught in the the Node life
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the screens and see..
I'm just a dev boy
Doing some debugging
Because there's warnings here
Errors there
Segment faults
Everywhere
Anytime you distract
Takes another hour from me
From me
*piano starts
Mama. Just committed a bug
Merge the branch to production
Did it fast for milestones
Mama. The repo has just begun
But now they going to throw the stack away.
Mama. U u u uu
Didn't mean to code in LAMP
But it's the only stack i know how to setup
In Ubuntu. Without docker
I really don't get vagrant
*piano
It's too late
My team is done
Some dev is working in Nepal
A UX dev. Now what is that?
Goodbye everybody
I've got to go
Gotta leave this lame meeting
And face the truth
Oh nooooo. I i interns
(they have questions)
I want to debug
I don't want to stay till 3 in the morning
*epic guitar
I see a litlle dev over there
Let's code review, let's code review
Did he do the last commit?
Coding in the white board
Very very frightening me
That's bug(that's a bug)
That's a bug (that's a bug)
What the f*ck did you do that?
Magnificcooooooo
I was just coding and nobody liked it
He was coding and nobody liked it, spare his some time to do his debugging
Easy man. Here go. Will you let me code?
A meeting. No,we will not let you code. ( let me code)
A meeting. we will not let you code. ( let me code)
A meeting. we will not let you code. ( let me code)
We will not let you code
Never never let you go
Never let you code, oh
No no no no no no no
Oh mama mia, mama mia ( dude, you've gotta let me code)
Screw you guys, I'm gonna code and commit. Commit. Comiiiiitt!
*epic guitar
So you think you can review me and spit in my eye?
So you think you can dump me and erase my branch?
Oh baby, cant do this to me baby
I've just have to log out.
I've just have to log outta here
*epic guitar solo
Nothing really matters
The users will not care
Nothing really matters
To them
Any way this code blows10 -
I spend over 3 hours thinking why my code doesn't work. It turns out you need to attach the code to the game object. Who would have known...........
10 -
I don't know what's wrong with my project. But somehow, this is the screening when you debugs a React Native app within DevTools.
10 -
I was fired from a job where the boss had it in for me. He was a really experienced dev, but he was also very arrogant. He hated me questioning him. I didn't have the evidence nor the "political" clout to back up my criticisms.
It was humbling.
I realised two things:
keeping your mouth shut is often the best approach.
And
my own arrogance was keeping me from getting better, from learning new things. Not just for the company, but for myself.
I want to write better code, make better design decisions, utilise design patterns, actually think about what I'm doing, and be able to justify why I'm doing it.
I want to be able to choose the best tools for the job, not the best tools for me.
I want to be a person that is open to criticisms and I want to be someone who is always ready to learn new things.9 -
Ah, every time I am on VPN, on every single website I have to prove that I am not a robot.
Just because I am using a VPN service to protect my information, that does not mean I am about to fuck the website up or DDoS the shit out of you. I wish the CDN providers would understand that and make our life easier.
I am seriously tired of completing the Google verification. Select the vehicle, bike, sign post, dick, vagina, Mia Khalifa. FUCK OFF11 -
I'm really close to just quitting coding all together. This job is sucking the life out of me. I've lost my interest in code and the idea that there are better jobs out there.
My "boss" who's not even really my boss but behaves like he is, is micromanaging my every tag, and is an information hog. He doesn't document, he doesn't tell me anything, I've been here six months and still don't know half of what I need to know to do my job properly!
I'm expected to implement a new responsive design, but we don't have design specifications.
Cool, you'd think, new ideas, complete overhaul! Let's get a good foundation in bootstrap going!
WRONG! It needs to fit in with the old, fuck- ugly pre 2000 design.
Not because of any design constraints in particular, but because HE wants it that way. You know what was fucking trendy in 2000? Tables. Tables fucking everywhere. YOU KNOW WHAT TABLES ARE NOT? RESPONSIVE YOU FUCKING ICE LOLLY CHEWER!
We have no development timeline, no process management, no fucking project management. THE FUCKING PASSWORDS WERE STILL STORED IN PLAIN TEXT UNTIL LAST MONTH YOU IRRESPONSIBLE BANANA DEEPTHROATER! 😤😤😤😤😤😤
I'm doing my best here to get something resembling the old page, but there needs to be some fucking compromise! We are in fucking 2017, let's work with Bootstrap instead of against it, how about that you fucking bald cactus!
I know enough about UI to know that the way we're going, this is just going to be another unusable fucking clusterfuck.
YOU KNOW THE BEST FUCKING PART? I'M A FUCKING BACKEND DEV AND I WAS HIRED AS SUCH! GIVE ME A DESIGN TEMPLATE AND I'LL DO MY BEST TO IMPLEMENT IT, BUT FUCK YOU FOR EXPECTING FRONT END LEVEL DESIGN KNOWLEDGE YOU DUMB FUCKING SPAGHETTI!14 -
So I've been MIA lately for personal reasons, but think I'm ready to get back into my coding and stuff :) Here's my arch setup that I've been working on recently.
7 -
Fuck you dickhead. If you don't like how I'm doing things, just fucking do them yourself. Or how about you give me some specifications, designs, a consistent database model? No? Fine, then don't fucking complain when I make do with what I have.4
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WELL FUCK YOU REDDIT, I TRY NOT TO ADBLOCK YOU BUT NOW YOU START WITH THE AUTO PLAY ADS WITH NO WAY TO MUTE OR PAUSE THEM? FUCK YOU!4
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Omg whhhy do things change so much from Laravel 5.x to 5.4? Tutorials are useless! And Google, I love you, but giving me laravel 4 answers as top results for my query specifying 5.4 is just infuriating!!!3
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Me and my manager throughout 2020
January:
Me: So umm, we can release the new app version
Manager: No we promised client X app first go build that
Me: umm, ok.
February:
Me: so the app is done, but client hasn't setup area L so there is no data there
Manager: ok, I'll have them setup area L soon ™️
March:
Manager: area L is too much work to setup, use workaround L thats way better
Me: ok ...
April:
Manager: client is nitpicking on design and layout please make this mess even greater
Me: ok, anything else?
Manager: yeah also start on app for client Z!
Me: and our app update?
Manager: later son! Risk tooo muchos!
May:
Me: the mess for client X is done, and first version for client Z is also ready for test
Manager: ok good work, here is a new set of things to mess up
Me: but... Seriously, wtf?!
Manager: clients want quality
Me: ah ok, not nitpicking, cool
June:
Manager: client X went MIA, but client Z will send you a weekly list of things they don't understand and want to change
Me: ah great, truly worth postponing my February holiday to release nothing
July:
Manager: so, how we doing on all them changes
Me: well, I am a loyal custodian with alot of pleasure in my work!
Manager: ah ok good!
Me: any news from client X??
Manager: who
Me: mkay ... n.v.m
August:
Me: can we release yet?
Manager: change, we can!!!
Me: are you Obama?
Manager: ambitions
Me: fuck you pay me
September:
Me: I am confident we can now release all 3 apps as promised mid september
Manager: great!! Good work
Also manager: you know that immensely complex area within the app? That needs a complete rewrite because we have bad ux there!!!
Me: ok... To which requirements?
Manager: good ux, we must have standards
Me: but the layout of page R id generic as page F so then we need to align there as well
Manager: go! Do!
Me: ok I'll come up with my own requirements then
Manager: we also need documentation
Me: really!!!! How clever of you to fire colleagues T & P and we now have zero workforce for that
Manager: things will get better someday
Me: ah, great! Put it on my calendar
October:
Me: I need a sabbatical biatch
Manager: a what?4 -
I REALLY HATE IIS. IT IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING PLATFORM. FUCK. WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY FUCKING ERROR LOGS YOU STUPID PIECE OF FUCKING CRAP. FUCKING KILL ME YOU STUPID SERVER ASS BITCH CUNT2
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I've been using Ubuntu 14.04 since it was first released until this moment (June 2018). What a stable OS i've ever used. Thank's Linux, you're free & awesome.
Thank Mr. Trusty & Tahr1 -
If AI can create an email address, register to instagram, post a photo randomly based on AI feeling or conditions, then reply a comment. I will follow that account.3
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How do you get over the bad times? I keep having to work with shitty legacy systems that were written in perl and flash in the 90s, but my boss keeps telling me "No" on redoing some of the bigger stuff even though it is really needed. I mean, that is your goal here, right? Rebuilding this POS? FFS you still stored passwords in plain text twoo weeks ago! But no, you's rather dig around in Perl than upset some random user because his fucking interface looks different.
But then I also have to work with another system that I could redo in Cake/Laravel in two weeks (it's literally getting and writing data to one table, so two views and user auth), and the previous dev just... made a huge mess. I mean, why would you need to post data asynchronously when it's this one stupid form ? Just do a regular form submit? And the system is really not suitable for extending, because everything is in the database, EVERYTHING! Like, html form inputs? So to add a simple input to the template I have to create a new input type in the types table and then add that to the form structure table? Only to have the input checked by fucking regex? REGEX! Why? Seriously, this is not some high end CMS that needs this level of code reusability No. This is a simple fucking form.
And I can't get it to work. No documentation of course. No comments, either. All of this makes me feel like I'm just the shittiest dev ever. I feel dumb, and useless. Haven't turned on my private PC in weeks because I see no reason to work on any of my own stuff.
I used to have a job, working with Magento and Wordpress. And yeah, it was horrible, it was chaos, but it was fun and I was great at it. I bent that motherfucking system to fit my needs. People respected my opinion, they were convinced I could program this and that, and I proved them right. Did I make mistakes? Hell yeah. Did I give up? Fuck no!
But now, I just feel like I can't even write a simple fucking form any more. I'm just so close to giving up on development as a whole, even though I love it so much.5 -
Our team lead was promoted to manager a few months back. Our VP/Director was fired a few months later. Our manager got our team a call today; the business is making a ton of money due to the Coronavirus fears. The company hasn't mandated any work-from-home policies yet. We're in a big city (Chicago/Downtown) so it feels irresponsible.
Our manager has complained about how he has no manager to ask questions; how every person is MIA (now he should know how we feel about him; but I don't think he realizes how absent he is).
One of my remote workers send a message, "This is a total clusterfuck"
Yea...1 -
I like a Product Manager/Owner/CTO who invites coffee when a dev burnout. This is not a story, a hope seems to be.2
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Week 1 Day 1
It's a little late to do a whole big list of things I want to change going into 2018 so I'll just keep this focused on one thing: I do NOT want to work a minimum wage job by the end of 2018, preferably by the end of May.
So I'm gonna change that; starting now. I got accepted to the Grow with Google Challenge scholarship I may or may not have applied to while blackout drunk and I realize that drunk me was watching out for sober me. He set up a good start to getting me away from unloading trucks at 2AM and into a nice comfy chair where I can replace physical pain with mental anguish. But all kidding aside I'm really excited to start this course but I have no drive and motivation is a little hard to come by around here (The Fairy Godmother is MIA) so I'm going to be posting these rants daily in the hopes that it keeps me obligated to not waste the opportunity given to me. So without further ado, day 1 everybody.
I started today really simple. I signed up for a slack account, got Udacity set up so I was officially enrolled and everything, then moved on to setting up my laptop for android development. I wanted a fresh start so I when ahead and wiped my hard drive and looked at a few different OSes to see what fit my needs. After trying to mess around with Arch Linux and failing, I moved to Debian, I liked Debian a lot but I'm not completely comfortable with it just yet and I don't want to waste a lot of time having to familiarize with a new OS when I just want to dig in. So eventually I ended up with Windows 10, for the convenience and ease of use, but decided to put a spin on it and download the Ubuntu subsystem for W10 so I could still practice on something similar to a GNU/Linux OS. So far everything is set up, I have the only 4 applications I will need: chrome, android studio, google play Music, and devrant of course, and I intend to keep all other distractions off of this machine. Overall I'm feeling really good and I'll follow up tomorrow with some actual coding and whatnot and we'll go for there.1 -
I love when my lead decides that we need to do "proper" agile after he got talked to by his boss for not running the team the right way.
Even after being talked to, he still hasn't closed out the last sprint, and we are now four days into the current one without any assigned tasks, and he hasn't been in the office the entire week.
I love my job <3 -
I encountered some strange programming languages here =>
https://codegolf.stackexchange.com/...
Then scroll to the bottom.6 -
Happy Monday, ranters!
There's nothing like starting the week with some (almost) critical issues to remind you that everything is full of shit. 😃1 -
Once upon a time, I'm in the process of going to a new job. But in the middle of the recruitment process, it turns out I don't like that company, for reasons I didn't know before.
Anyone have a good idea how to escape this pit?
*My CV has been thrown there6 -
I have tried so hard to add some dependencies on react-native (android). Always fails when build gradle, many dependencies are mismatch.
Go fuck my project.2 -
Why include a linter if you're just going to ignore it!
I just "inherited" an angular app from a year ago for a project that was put on hold, and after opening it in VS Code practically every TS file went red. Almost every rule in the config was not followed. Might as well have just disabled the darn thing?
The original developer is MIA so I can't contact him and ask him why either.1 -
Almost stuck with manual state management for JS. Dealing server side rendering manually. [almost crazy]
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I didn't use Windows, but my friend encountered this problem. Anyone knows how to handle it? Thank you
(I am afraid to post to stackoverflow)
13 -
Guys, how do you structure branching in an enterprise project?
We're using git, managers are MIA, I'm basically helping another new guy kick off and maintain the projects that we have.
What would be a good branching strategy? Front end and backend in the same project, 5 man team in the future.2 -
Junior angular dev, looking for some fun projects to throw on my github. I haven't done any coding for my public github since I started working full time, so it looks like I'm MIA! Want to show off my newly gained skills :)
Anything html/css/boostrap/js/jquery/angular/jasmine/karma/node I'm down for, or if you've got any fun projects related to web development (backend, DB, etc) that's an unfamiliar language I'd probably take a shot at that too!
I built a portfolio before and deployed it to digital ocean and assigned it to my own google purchased .com, but that's the most "impressive" thing I've done so far.1 -
Today's achievement, has successfully told my friend to create an account in Devrant. Guess what? My friend instantly love it.2
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I have just allowed '*' on the rack-cors host configuration. Yiiiiihhhhaaaaa.. no cors problems on Rails again.
But hackers will go fuck my api. -
Immutable.js, Immutable
rb, Immutable.py, Immutable.java, Immutable.php.
Immutable.jpeg, Immutable.mp4. Love you Immutable.
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