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Search - "clusterfuck"
"should I commit this? nah let's just implement this huge feature first and commit that clusterfuck of changes with a commit message «changes»"8
Here's a list of unpopular stuff which I agree with:
1) I love Java more than any other programming language.
2) I love sleeping more than working.
3) I'm not a night owl. I thrive the most during daylight.
4) I don't like or need coffee. Tea is fine.
5) Webdev is a huge clusterfuck which I secretly wish that could just die already.
6) Cybersecurity is a meme and actually not that interesting. Same passes for Cloud, Machine Learning and Big Data.
7) Although I'm a huge fan of it Linux is too unstable and non-idiot proof to ever become mainstream on the desktop.
8) Windows is actually a pretty solid OS.
9) The real reason I don't use macos is because I'm a poorfag that can't afford an overpriced laptop.
10) I don't like math and I hate that people push math shit into random interview questions for dev jobs which have nothing to do with math.
OH MY FUCKING GOD!
What is the point in separating us into backend/frontend developers if everyone has to learn/do everything?
And now this FUCKING DUMBASS that is leaving!!! The company convinced my FUCKING STUPID boss to start using react with nodejs on the new platforms ...
Did anyone think about talking to the fucking devops that maintain the fucking deployments about this????
By the way, this sucker is me.
And now I have one month to: deploy a new app... ALONE!! learning fucking react (please kill me) and probably merge it in a clusterfuck of unseparated backend/frontend because fuck it.
Oh, and figure out a way to make deployment automated and easy for me at least.
I'm about to rant in real life...7
So I started up Android Studio for the first time...
Yeah I'm not gonna do that ever again3
This is dedicated to all Webdevs, especially those WordPress fanboys.
I was reflecting on some things since I do more frequent freelance jobs at the time. And I have to admit: people are fucking crazy.
I had some serious talk with customers and some serious talk for people I work as subsidiary.
The average customer thinks a nice webpage costs I'm 9-50 bucks. They got some shitty Webhosting for 1-5$/month including domain and think they are set.
They have unclear visions about what they actually want, it all boils down to "I like the design". I made a page for someone who just posted images, no text nothing and I told him a trillion times NEEDS some text, even a fucking picture description would be sufficient, else he'll never score anything at google.
Ofc it got denied, now he's bitching how nobody finds the site when they google his name. The other thing is that Wordpress became the solution for everything.
I'm a fucking certified magento developer and I hate magento with a passion. Magento is an overabstracted clusterfuck and believe me, I did the certification I had to learn more than average about the core. But damn, don't slap woocommerce on everything.
Narrowninded fucktards, the cheap out of the box solution isn't always the best.
Don't cry if you got hacked because you were too dumb to upgrade your wordpress. Don't tell me to do some "enhancements" on a server you probably share with 100 other uses. I can't fix your Webserver with your shitty ftp account.
I also hate WordPress with a burning passion. Cum guzzling cavetroll it is. It has it usages, but don't rely on a core So small every kind of extra functionality has to somehow tinkered on it and then expect it to work flawlessly and for 10$ price.
I still stay to my word. Nothing great has been nor will be created with a Wordpress core. Don't tell me how some great stuff has been achieved. Or wait, please do so. But before you do think about if that wouldn't been faster, cheaper, more reliable , etc... if done with a framework like symphony or laravel... or even zend or cake.
And that brings me back to the point:
Is cheap and "out of the box" really what you need and desire? As customer and as developer?6
*signs up for Skillshare*
> Sorry, your password is longer than our database's glory hole can handle.
> Please shorten your password cumload to only 64 characters at most, otherwise our database will be unhappy.
Well, I've got a separate email address from my domain and a unique password for them. So shortening it and risking getting that account stolen by plaintext shit won't really matter, especially since I'm not adding payment details or anything.
*continues through the sign-up process for premium courses, with "no attachments, cancel anytime"*
> You need to provide a credit card to continue with our "free" premium trial.
Yeah fuck you too. I don't even have a credit card. It's quite uncommon in Europe, you know? We don't have magstripe shit that can go below 0 on ya.. well the former we still do but only for compatibility reasons. We mainly use chip technology (which leverages asymmetric cryptography, awesome!) that usually can't go much below 0 here nowadays. Debit cards, not credit cards.
Well, guess it's time to delete that account as well. So much for acquiring fucking knowledge from "experts". Guess I'll have to stick to reading wikis and doing my ducking-fu to select reliable sources, test them and acquire skills of my own. That's how I've done it for years, and that's how it's been working pretty fucking well for me. Unlike this deceptive security clusterfuck!14
Time for an actual rant:
During an internship I heard from my PM that my assignment for the week after was going to be working on a specific sql query to add some features and fix some bugs.
When talking with colleagues about that assignment later, they laughed and referred to the query as the "query of doom" (QoD), naive as I was back then, I thought that one of my colleagues had the QoD displayed on his screen because the query he was working on looked rather large (about 20 lines). They all laughed and told me I was in for a treat.
Starting my assignment the week after I was horrified to find out the QoD was huge, and by huge I mean, printing that specific query resulted in 8 A4 pages font size 10, front and back.
There were over a 100 union statements, no proper aliases, no documentation, not a single foreign key in the entire database, naming that makes no sense. And everything written manually by 10 different developers over the past years, who all fell of the face of the earth.
And this was only the query of doom. The entire product was a complete clusterfuck of forms with a queries directly behind action buttons, because we weren't allowed to make classes (yes you read that correctly. We couldn't make classes, unless we had a very compelling reason). Everything was created by over 30 different devs who only managed to stay just long enough to get some work done.
And all of this was the result of a PM who didn't believe in frameworks, ORM's, OOP, classes, ... because that made the software slow. To this day he still manages that product, but I'm glad that I quickly decided to move on.9
Yeah so OK this ancient legacy clusterfuck we've been maintaining and keeping alive finally broke. And even though I'm very pleased with both being right, and the well deserved right to say I TOLD YOU SO, SO MANY MANY FUCKING TIMES to all in management, it's the definition of hate to work 18 hours a day to fix the shit someone else built, that they refused us to refactor. Ah, but wait; there's more! Everyone thinks it's our fault (R&D), because historically it was our department that built the system. Ten years ago. So sales and support are now all over us, those responsible for us being in this mess are either gone or so high up in management that they refuse to take part.
Taking the fall and blame and workload, for something we warned repeatedly about, but were refused to do something with, because shiny features and new apps is what is important!
I'd understand it if the numbers were red, but they arent!! We are growing so fast it was inevitable!
I fucking hate companies who dont listen to their devs..... also companies who places ops on dev shoulders.
Yaaaargh! Also; two developers means twice as fast? No? Fuuuuuck!!!11
A CMS raping WordPress so hard up the ass till there is no tomorrow. I hate that bastardized piece of fuck. “Hey I want you to fix my page and its wordpress. I pay 20 bucks.“ Well fuck you too sir. Wordpress is no cms you wanna be coders. Get back to your fucking photoshop and design something original! Every fucking wp page looks the same. Every “nice feature“ is some kind of monkeypatched workarround. No problem i set preview pictures for every post just to enable some weird slider to function.
I also love those buttfucked files with just a “require foo“ which also just requires “bar“. Drop that fuck. Implement autoloading. Nobody uses php4 anymore step into the future. “easy to learn“ fuck me and fuck you untill you vomit jizz! Clusterfucked spaghetticode thats easy, easy to put another rotten load of clusterfuck on top. Also those security features. I put an empty index.php to prevent directory traversal. N I C E! Stop using wordpress as CMS, its a blog engine. Nothing great has every been written on top of wordpress and never will. I dare you to deny everything related to it and if you are one of those designer guyd, you can gargle my jizz you fucknut!
Starting 2017 i will start a counter and rape every 10th Wordpress which gets abused as cms i encounter into oblivion on their 0,99$ webhosting shit.
Fuck this I'm so mad about that crap17
In my current work, I have two systems to work on (let's name em Systems A and B). Both basically do the same thing; both allow users to book facilities available to them.
System A is already in production. My job is to fix any bugs that come up on said system. System B is an improved version that they wanted me to develop. This would follow a different framework etc. I am already halfway through this system.
Now, here's the fucked up part. The code for system A is a massive clusterfuck. It has unused commented code dated back to ancient times where men had the brain of an ape.
And don't get me started on the fucking logic. One part of the code was to retrieve and display the timeslots available for a chosen facility. The code to do that alone takes up 500++ fucking lines, filled with ajax commands, html manipulation and commented, unused codes..AND THAT'S JUST THE FRONTEND!
The fucking backend was not a problem of smelly code anymore. Nope. It was like a programmer had code diarrhea and shat his backend code all over the project. If I had a pin board, I would have made a crazy wall just to understand what some fucknut was trying to achieve.
Anyway, my supervisor told me to fix some bugs on System A. Knowing how the code was, I told her that I could refactor the code. Since I've already achieved that function on System B, with a shorter and cleaner code, I could just copy that and use on System A. But nope. She SPECIFICALLY told me to just "do whatever to fix the bugs. I don't want to waste time on System A." Okay. Makes sense to me. Whatever. I didn't wanna fuck my head up looking through that mess of a cesspool. So, I came up with a few hacks, not thinking of clean code and fixed whatever bugs there was. I then just pushed to the repo (after testing of course).
This bloody morning, supervisor came in and gave me more bugs to fix. When I thought she was done, she said "Hey. I saw the fix you made to the system. The bugs are fixed but the retrieval of the timeslots is now pretty slow. Could you see what is the problem?"
Slow.. She said that it was slow. And asked if I could fix it. I already told her what the problem was and she did not want me to waste time on it. But she wants me to fix it. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG IN HER BLOODY HEAD! I SWEAR TO GOD... UGHHHHH I swear I was already waterboarding her in my head. YOU WANT FAST?? How bout fucking allowing me to refactor the code?? Fucking shit head. I think I should take up yoga.1
Let me tell you a story:
One upon a time poor lil PonySlaystation received a call. It was a nice guy who cried about his WordPress website had been hacked. So the clusterfuck began...
He gave me the login credentials for the hosting back-end, DB, FTP and CMS.
A hacked WP site was not new for me. It was probably the 6th of maybe 10 I had to do with.
What I didn't expect was the hosting back-end.
Imagine yourself back in 1999 when you tried to learn PHP and MySQL and all was so interesting and cool and you had infinite possibilities! Now forget all these great feelings and just take that ancient technology to 2018 and apply it to a PAID FUCKING HOSTING PROVIDER!
HOLY FUCKING ASSRAPE!
Wanna know what PHP version?
5.3.11, released the day before gomorrah was wiped.
The passwords? Stored in fucking plaintext. Shown right next to the table name and DB user name in the back-end. Same with FTP users.
EXCUSE ME, WHAT THE FUCK?!
I have to call Elon Musk and order some Boring Company Flame Throwers to get rid of this.
Long story long, I set up a new WP, changed all passwords and told the nice guy to get a decent hoster.4
I'm really close to just quitting coding all together. This job is sucking the life out of me. I've lost my interest in code and the idea that there are better jobs out there.
My "boss" who's not even really my boss but behaves like he is, is micromanaging my every tag, and is an information hog. He doesn't document, he doesn't tell me anything, I've been here six months and still don't know half of what I need to know to do my job properly!
I'm expected to implement a new responsive design, but we don't have design specifications.
Cool, you'd think, new ideas, complete overhaul! Let's get a good foundation in bootstrap going!
WRONG! It needs to fit in with the old, fuck- ugly pre 2000 design.
Not because of any design constraints in particular, but because HE wants it that way. You know what was fucking trendy in 2000? Tables. Tables fucking everywhere. YOU KNOW WHAT TABLES ARE NOT? RESPONSIVE YOU FUCKING ICE LOLLY CHEWER!
We have no development timeline, no process management, no fucking project management. THE FUCKING PASSWORDS WERE STILL STORED IN PLAIN TEXT UNTIL LAST MONTH YOU IRRESPONSIBLE BANANA DEEPTHROATER! 😤😤😤😤😤😤
I'm doing my best here to get something resembling the old page, but there needs to be some fucking compromise! We are in fucking 2017, let's work with Bootstrap instead of against it, how about that you fucking bald cactus!
I know enough about UI to know that the way we're going, this is just going to be another unusable fucking clusterfuck.
YOU KNOW THE BEST FUCKING PART? I'M A FUCKING BACKEND DEV AND I WAS HIRED AS SUCH! GIVE ME A DESIGN TEMPLATE AND I'LL DO MY BEST TO IMPLEMENT IT, BUT FUCK YOU FOR EXPECTING FRONT END LEVEL DESIGN KNOWLEDGE YOU DUMB FUCKING SPAGHETTI!14
Years ago, I was part of a project that went completely off the rails. A little context: we were a services company and we had local offices in cities all over the country. My team provided 2nd-level support which means we often had the PMs call us from those via an annoying Nextel radio.
I won’t go through the details but suffice it to say this project envolved one such branch going rogue and committing actual fraud, with criminal proceedings and all. People were on the edge, and the relationship with that branch was increasingly hostile. There was also an internal power struggle in the company between some directors at that point. In other words, a clusterfuck I’ll always cherish, if by cherish you mean hate hate hate. Anywho…
One time, there was a national holiday on a Thursday and we were going to make it a long weekend. As customary, I communicated with all the PMs about contigency plans. This PM then told us that we could not take Friday off because the customer wanted us to fly over there. We were supposed to be at the customer’s site early Friday morning. That meant we would have to fly Thrusday afternoon. I wasn’t happy.
It immediatly felt arbitrary too. As I said, the relationship was not good and we suspected he was just trying to cost us our days off. I knew enough of the customer to be fairly sure they would not have requested us that Friday. Why did the customer want us then? There was nothing yet on production and if it was just to show progress, surely we could move it to Monday. At worst, can’t we make it over the phone? No, no, no, he said. The customer was adamant that we be there on Friday. Sucked to be us.
So we flew over Thursday afternoon and on Friday morning we headed to the customer’s offices only to find it closed. They too had made it a long weekend and wouldn’t be back until Monday.
Normally I would be furious over the waste of time but to be honest, both I and my colleague smiled at that. It confirmed that the PM just tried to screw us and the customer have never asked for us. We headed back to the local office.
Before coming in, we both bought ourselves some icecream. My friend stayed in the little garden in front and I went in. The PM immediatly saw me and demanded to know why I wasn’t at the customer yet. I didn’t answer. Instead I grabbed the Nextel radio and headed back out with the PM following. I then sat down on the grass and called my director. Smiling and staring at the PM, I told him about the office being closed. The PM’s face froze when my director asked to talk to him.
We sat outside under the sun, enjoying our icecreams while the PM got shouted at. It was the best icecream I’ve ever had.6
- Project for a 40+b$ company.
- No business analysis.
- Only some 64 pages tech paper dividing the project in 4 iterations (pretty well written).
- « Please estimate the first iteration ».
- Can we do it in 2 weeks? Only items in first iteration, I think we can but we need a BA before we accept the project.
- Confirmed by senior dev front. 10 days, says we need a BA before we accept.
- Confirmed by senior dev back. 12 days, says we need a BA before we accept.
- UX/UI senior designer says he can't estimate such a technical, says we defo need a BA before any estimations.
PM, who is actually the department manager, says OK we can do it. No BA and estimations are halved, UI/UX 2 days.
He fucking signs the contract.
SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER, WE NEED STUFF FROM FUTURE ITERATIONS IF WE DON'T WANT TO THROW AWAY ALL THE FIRST ITER WORK.
PROJECT BECOME A CLUSTERFUCK.
NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ANYTHING. THE CLIENT HAS NO CLUE EITHER.
The fucking dep. mgr assigns another PM and says he don't have time anymore.
NOBODY HAS A CLUE WHAT THE PROJECT IS AT THIS POINT.
We have 3 days left.
Whole team came to a conclusion: the only sane thing to do is to give our grouped resignation letters.
Thanks. It was fun while it lasted. Your dep. can go to hell.5
Hello devRant, a question for you.
I'm looking to redisign/setup my server 'infrastructure'.
It'll exist out of:
7 vps's (6+gb ram/500gb+/100mbs up/down per vps)
2 dedicated servers running as virtualization servers. (16gb/4tb/1gbit up/down and another one but let's leave that one out for now because it's gonna take a shit ton of time to solve that clusterfuck)
One server will function as an entry point for all websites I run, multiple database servers and multiple backup ones.
Just a very serious hobby thing :)27
Not specifically dev related other than being hired as a dev, more a corporate thing.
I have medical issues that mean I can be a bit variable in my starting time. Company was aware and floated flexible hours as a possible solution, but never said it *was* a solution, and just left it there really breezy.
Nailed this down with my line manager a couple weeks later after HR lost their shit, apologised and thought nothing of it.
Few days later I read a blog post about IP clauses in contracts that reminded me I intended to ask, as mine didn’t have one.
Asked HR, no response for like an hour, then “we’ll get back to you on that”
Following week, pulled into a sudden meeting. “Sorry for short notice of meeting, but we’re terminating your employment effective immediately for ‘lack of commitment’”.
The day before, the company literally had a company day where they banged on about their values and how they wanted to support their employees and foster an environment for good health and good mental health.
No disciplinary proceedings. My line manager found out 5 minutes before I did.
I emailed a few colleagues afterwards and apologised, and they were stunned it had gone down the way it did.
I was so blindsided and angry in the meeting, especially after I believed I’d found a company that was actually different and cared.
And I did my work, I stayed late quite often, even produced a couple internal devops tools in my time there.
The kicker is that it was within the probation period, so I have literally no recourse for any action against them.
What’s the most bullshit corporate clusterfuck you’ve been through devRant?3
"Older versions are more stable"
The whole concept of LTS in development pisses me off.
Delayed upgrading, whether it's the language itself, dependencies or tooling, does just one thing: It makes future upgrading way more difficult, often to the point where the company eventually runs into this maintainability wall, and gets stuck in old, unsupported versions.
"But... stability!" — The tiny chance that the newer version has such serious stability regressions that it negatively impacts your own product doesn't weigh up against the clusterfuck you fall into if you push the task too far into the future.
You can relatively easily assess a new major language version using benchmarks and unit tests. Predicting the repercussions of staying on PHP 5.4 or Python 2.7 for another year, predicting the impact of upgrading the codebase later, that is almost impossible.
I'm not saying you should live on the bleeding edge in production, but as soon as a new stable version of a core technology is released, just fucking drop everything you're doing and port those deprecated methods!7
Got an email earlier this week. It went something like this:
"It looks like your team still hasn't delivered the logging and monitoring solution that we asked for. Can you get it done in time for our production deployment next Friday?"
Um, wait, excuse me, WHAT?
1. You never actually asked for the thing you claim we didn't deliver. In fact, when we brought up the fact that you should probably have some monitoring set up for your servers, you said it would be handled entirely by your own team.
2. I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS PROJECT FOR SIX MONTHS WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOUR DEADLINE UNTIL NOW
3. I won't even have time to start working on this until the Monday after your prod deployment date. Sorrynotsorry.
I really shouldn't be surprised though. This project has been a clusterfuck from the very beginning so this is just par for the course.2
Grunt, gulp, bower, webpack, rollup, yarn, npm, requirejs, commonjs, browserify, brunch, rollup, parcel, fusebox, babel,
wrappers for bundlers, frameworks on frameworks, then for css, theres scss, sass, less, stylus, compass, and for templates, handlebars, mustache, nunjucks, underscore, ejs, pug, jade, and about five billion other word-salad tools, all with their own CLIs, each in some way building on npm, but with their own non-congruent little syntax, like no one realized they were reinventing the same problems introduced by domain specific languages, most happy to announce "configuration takes a little time, but it's worth it!"
No, it's not. Just stop people. Just stop. You're not doing anyone any favors by creating another lib, all you're doing is tooting your own horn and self promoting. Use what exists and stop creating more shit for new people to learn, to add to the giant clusterfuck that is the 2019 hotmess known as "web development."
You're not special. You're not important. You're lib or tool will be famous for 15 minutes and no one cares what you've made.
If you want to contribute to web development, do us all a favor and contribute to global sanity by kindly deleting your contribution and any plans to contribute new solutions to problems that have already been solved.12
A little back story:
A dev who left already implemented a system and modeled the data like he doesn't even care because he was going away in one month anyway.
This sucker here inherited the responsibility to remodel this fucking clusterfuck of data.
I was trying to do a good work here until today but some things came to my mind :
I don't care.
They don't care.
I'm gonna do the same shit and the next person can suck ma'dick.
I have better things to do.
Look, I'm gonna do a lazy job that is gonna be a million light years better than what this sucker did anyway.1
I used to use WinBtrfs on Windows to get away from the clusterfuck that is NTFS on my WD Elements. But today I figured.. why? Why not just mount the drives to my file server already? I mean even over a USB 2.0 link, a USB 3.0 drive will perform decently. Not as good as my RAID-0 array there for sure, but still. So, that's it.. fuck it. Done with trying to get WanBLowS to adapt to my needs. Decent drives for a decent operating system, all the 10TB straight to my file server!! Then WanBLowS can go jerk itself in its clusterfuck of NTFS and SMB shit, while the actual grunt work is done by something that's at least reliable and won't shit itself - Linux. As it should be done!!! Trying to get WanBLowS to manage something more important than browsing the Phasebuk, what was I even thinking?!17
Anything I (am able to) build myself.
Also, things that are reasonably standardized. So you probably won't see me using a commercial NAS (needing a web browser to navigate and up-/download my files, say what?) nor would I use something like Mega, despite being encrypted. I don't like lock-in into certain clients to speak some proprietary "secure protocol". Same reason why I don't use ProtonMail or that other one.. Tutanota. As a service, use the standards that already exist, implement those well and then come offer it to me.
But yeah. Self-hosted DNS, email (modified iRedMail), Samba file server, a blog where I have unlimited editing capabilities (God I miss that feature here on devRant), ... Don't trust the machines nor the services you don't truly own, or at least make an informed decision about them. That is not to say that any compute task should be kept local such as search engines or AI or whatever that's best suited for centralized use.. but ideally, I do most of my computing locally, in a standardized way, and in a way that I completely control. Most commercial cloud services unfortunately do not offer that.
Edit: Except mail servers. Fuck mail servers. Nastiest things I've ever built, to the point where I'd argue that it was wrong to ever make email in the first place. Such a broken clusterfuck of protocols, add-ons (SPF, DKIM, DMARC etc), reputation to maintain... Fuck mail servers. Bloody soulsuckers those are. If you don't do system administration for a living, by all means do use the likes of ProtonMail and Tutanota, their security features are nonstandard but at least they (claim to) actually respect your privacy.2
After a few weeks of being insanely busy, I decided to log onto Steam and maybe relax with a few people and play some games. I enjoy playing a few sandbox games and do freelance development for those games (Anywhere from a simple script to a full on server setup) on the side. It just so happened that I had an 'urgent' request from one of my old staff member from an old community I use to own. This staff member decided to run his own community after I sold mine off since I didn't have the passion anymore to deal with the community on a daily basis.
O: Owner (Former staff member/friend)
D: Other Dev
O: Hey, I need urgent help man! Got a few things developed for my server, and now the server won't stay stable and crashes randomly. I really need help, my developer can't figure it out.
Me: Uhm, sure. Just remember, if it's small I'll do it for free since you're an old friend, but if it's a bigger issue or needs a full recode or whatever, you're gonna have to pay. Another option is, I tell you what's wrong and you can have your developer fix it.
O: Sounds good, I'll give you owner access to everything so you can check it out.
Me: Sounds good
*An hour passes by*
O: Sorry it took so long, had to deal with some crap. *Insert credentials, etc*
Me: Ok, give me a few minutes to do some basic tests. What was that new feature or whatever you added?
O: *Explains long feature, and where it's located*
Me: *Begins to review the files* *Internal rage wondering what fucking developer could code such trash* *Tests a few methods, and watches CPU/RAM and an internal graph for usage*
Me: Who coded this module?
O: My developer.
Me: *Calm tone, with a mix of some anger* So, you know what, I'm just gonna do some simple math for ya. You're running 33 ticks a second for the server, with an average of about 40ish players. 33x60 = 1980 cycles a minute, now lets times that by the 40 players on average, you have 79,200 cycles per minute or nearly 4.8 fucking cycles an hour (If you maxed the server at 64 players, it's going to run an amazing fucking 7.6 million cycles an hour, like holy fuck). You're also running a MySQLite query every cycle while transferring useless data to the server, you're clusterfucking the server and overloading it for no fucking reason and that's why you're crashing it. Another question, who the fuck wrote the security of this? I can literally send commands to the server with this insecure method and delete all of your files... If you actually want your fucking server stable and secure, I'm gonna have to recode this entire module to reduce your developer's clusterfuck of 4.8 million cycles to about 400 every hour... it's gonna be $50.
D: *Angered* You're wrong, this is the best way to do it, I did stress testing! *Insert other defensive comments* You're just a shitty developer (This one got me)
Me: *Calm* You're calling me a shitty developer? You're the person that doesn't understand a timer, I get that you're new to this world, but reading the wiki or even using the game's forums would've ripped this code to shreds and you to shreds. You're not even a developer, cause most of this is so disorganized it looks like you copy and pasted it. *Get's angered here and starts some light screaming* You're wasting CPU usage, the game can't use more than 1 physical core, and after a quick test, you're stupid 'amazing' module is using about 40% of the CPU. You need to fucking realize the 40ish average players, use less than this... THEY SHOULD BE MORE INTENSIVE THAN YOUR CODE, NOT THE OPPOSITE.
O: Hey don't be rude to Venom, he's an amazing coder. You're still new, you don't know as much as him. Ok, I'll pay you the money to get it recoded.
Me: Sounds good. *Angered tone* Also you developer boy, learn to listen to feedback and maybe learn to improve your shitty code. Cause you'll never go anywhere if you don't even understand who bad this garbage is, and that you can't even use the fucking wiki for this game. The only fucking way you're gonna improve is to use some of my suggestions.
D: *Leaves call without saying anything*
TL;DR: Shitty developer ran some shitty XP system code for a game nearly 4.8 million times an hour (average) or just above 7.6 million times an hour (if maxed), plus running MySQLite when it could've been done within about like 400 an hour at max. Tried calling me a shitty developer, and got sorta yelled at while I was trying to keep calm.
Still pissed he tried calling me a shitty developer...
And once again, Spotify just leaves me speechless.
I guess I don't actually need to talk about this clusterfuck of a mobile app getting more and more slow and unstable with every update. So let's talk about something else.
When I cracked the first limit, I thought it had to be a joke. 9.999 songs can be downloaded at once. But not all on one device. You can download 3.333 songs each to three separate devices - regardless of the fact that there is more than enough space left on the device and you are not even using any other device.
When I read this one [-> https://goo.gl/43YwKm ], I really got angry:
"If you move, or enter the wrong details, you need to create a new account (make sure you cancel the plan on your old account beforehand, and sign out everywhere) and subscribe to Premium for Family on that new account."
I don't even know how to respond to this except with insane wrath.
So now I cracked the next one. My library is full. The maximum number of songs that can be stored in the library is 10.000 and not one more.
If they wanted more money for the additional ressources, I'd even understand that. Yes, the suggestion calculations become more expensive, I do know that. And I would even pay for that. But there is no such option.
Instead, the company is making the most customer hostile decisions I could imagine.
Even though the competition proves that a multiple of such a limit is not a problem at all (Google Music: 50.000 songs / Apple Music: 100.000 songs).
And you have to create a new account when you move? That's hard to beat for impudence, especially wigh regard of the fact that no migration service is provided, so a person like me would spend a long time transferring all the stored music and playlists.
I'm not even sure it's complying with European law not to be able to see your address online, let alone change it.
And all of that because they know they can afford it anyway, since although the competition is a lot better on that score, they simply can't keep up in the matter of spectrum and algorithms.
And if I can only take 70% of my music with me when I change the service, I can just as well delete 3.000 songs from my library and stay with Spotify.
What a fucking wreck. I really don't get it.13
Classic design not being thought out case study:
THESE STUPID FUCKING ELECTRONIC TOLL TRANSPONDERS.
They sit down and figure 'oh, it's automatic which means this system will automatically be better and more convenient'
Simple use cases that not one dumbass thought of:
1. You have multiple cars. Becomes a part time job to move it around. So you end up having to get a bunch of these fuckers
2. If it misses, you have to have an elaborate system to do it by license plate anyway...
3. If you do forget it you can't pay manually because of the license plate secondary method or risk paying twice (many don't even let you pay manually)
4. You can use it in somebody else's car and forget it. Then what? Guess we're blowing through tolls today because we can't pay manually since our license plate is linked
5. If something does fuck up time to jump through rings of fire to prove you own a transponder and it's their fault, and even then they'll try to hit you with a fine claiming you weren't displaying the transponder. Just you watch.
Now the FOSS section of the argument
6. Proprietary system, scanning all your license plates and transponders. That's enough data to be thoroughly abused.
7. Interoperability problems.
So thanks for getting rid of cash, the fast and easy way to paying tolls and opening up the clusterfuck portal to allow fucks of clusters into our world which has already been overrun with dumb jackasses, c# and Microsoft operating systems and making it that much worse. Congratulations tollway.6
rant & question
Last year I had to collaborate to a project written by an old man; let's call him Bob. Bob started working in the punch cards era, he worked as a sysadmin for ages and now he is being "recycled" as a web developer. He will retire in 2 years.
The boss (that is not a programmer) loves Bob and trusts him on everything he says.
Here my problems with Bob and his code:
- he refuses learning git (or any other kind of version control system);
- he knows only procedural PHP (not OO);
- he mixes the presentation layer with business logic;
- he writes layout using tables;
- he uses deprecated HTML tags;
- he uses a random indentation;
- most of the code is vulnerable to SQL injection;
- and, of course, there are no tests.
- Ah, yes, he develops directly on the server, through a SSH connection, using vi without syntax highlighting.
In the beginning I tried to be nice, pointing out just the vulnerabilities and insisting on using git, but he ignored all my suggestions.
So, since I would have managed the production server, I decided to cheat: I completely rewrote the whole application, keeping the same UI, and I said the boss that I created a little fork in order to adapt the code to our infrastructure. He doesn't imagine that the 95% of the code is completely different from the original.
Now it's time to do some changes and another colleague is helping. She noticed what I did and said that I've been disrespectful in throwing away the old man clusterfuck, because in any case the code was working. Moreover he will retire in 2 years and I shouldn't force him to learn new things [tbh, he missed at least last 15 years of web development].
What would you have done in my place?14
All arguments about tabs and spaces, I just write my code in a non-formatted clusterfuck and then let the IDE format it.6
To all frontend webdevs here:
Explain to me how do you cope with all this insane clusterfuckness of frameworks, tools and js libraries.
Why is it so hard for a beginner like me to learn webdev? Android and backend are much more logical and sane. Even Node.js is pretty dope.12
Many years ago, when I moved from a semi-experienced developer to an absolute beginner project manager at another company, my very first project was an absolute clusterfuck.
The customer basically wanted to scrape signups to their EventBrite events into their CRM system. The fuckery began before the project even started, when I was told my management that we HAD to use BizTalk. It didn't matter that we had zero experience with BizTalk, or that using BizTalk for this particular project was like using a stealth bomber to go down to the shops for a bottle of tequila (that's one for fans of Last Man on Earth). It's designed to be used by an experienced team of developers, not a small inexperienced 1-person dev team I had. The reason was for bullshit political reasons which I wasn't really made clear on (I suspect that our sales team sold it to them for a bazillion pounds, and they weren't using it for anything, so we had to justify us selling it to them by doing SOMETHING with it). And because this was literally my first project, I was young and not confident at all, and I wanted to be the guy who just got shit done, I didn't argue.
Inevitably, the project was a turd. It went waaay over budget and time, and didn't work very well. I remember one morning on my way to work seriously considering ploughing my car into a ditch, so that I had a good excuse not to go into work and face that bullshit project.
The good thing is that I learned a lot from that. I decided that kind of fuckery was never going to happen again.
A few months later I had an initial meeting with a potential customer (who I was told would be a great customer to have for bullshit political reasons) - I forget the details but they essentially wanted to build a platform for academic researchers to store data, process it using data processing plugins which they could buy, and commersialise it somehow. There were so many reasons why this was a terrible idea, but when they said that they were dead set on using SharePoint (SharePoint!!!) as the base of the platform, I remembered my first project and what happened.
I politely explained my technical and business concerns over the idea, and reasons why SharePoint was not a good fit (with diagrams and everything), suggested a completely different technology stack, and scheduled another meeting so they could absorb what I had said and revisit. I went to my sales and head of development and basically told them to run. Run fast, and run far, because it won't work, these guys are having some kind of fever dream, it's a clusterfuck in the making, and for some reason they won't consider not using SP.
I never heard from them again, so I assume we dropped them as a potential client. It felt amazing. I think that was the single best thing I did for that company.
Moral of the story: when technology decisions are made which you know are wrong, don't be afraid to stand up and explain why.3
PCs are a clusterfuck these days. Microsoft has abandoned the niceness of Win-7 and opted for Win-10 - with spyware, untested forced updates and forced online licence checks to make sure you have to get the shit. Macs are total crap, and Apple doesn't care because they instead prefer to milk customers with overpriced iShit. Linux sucks and looks like a Soviet tractor, but at least, it doesn't fuck up itself just by switching it on.
I had Linux as only OS from 2001 to 2010, and while I obviously can deal with it, I finally hated it enough to switch over to Win-7. From 2020 on, it looks like I will be back because Microsoft has managed to fuck up Windows even worse (and then these suckers wonder why Github users don't trust them). Maybe I'll buy a Tux when I install Linux so that I can punch it in the face.
Progress was yesterday - today it's about damage control. Welcome to a world where the brightest CS guys are thinking about how not only to shove up even more ads into peoples' asses, but how to also transmit lab data of the poo.7
Autodesk + Linux is such a goddamn clusterfuck.
Firstly, they only release RPM builds for Maya, and say that they officially support RHEL and CentOS only.
No support for Debian, Arch, etc. What. The. Fuck.
Fine. Okay. Corporate policy. I can live with that. I use alien to convert the RPMs to DEBs on my ZorinOS installation and then found a script which does the installation for me. Cool.
Installs with a few library fuckups. Okay, no problem. I added the missing library versions (ancient libpng and libtiff). I run it. It throws up with some error involving licensing.
Upon searching it seems that Maya 20-fucking-17 can't handle the "new" consistent device naming system (the one which renames eth0 to enp1s0 or whatever). WHAT THE FUCK. Okay. Found a way to disable that. No effect. It's doing the equivalent of a boot loop with the same error.
Wow. This is the leading player in 3D content creation software :/
(As an aside, I did try to install Fedora 28 but it keeps failing with a TPM error. Yay for Linux distro quirks).1
Welp, this made my night and sorta ruined my night at the same time.
He decided to work on a new gaming community but has limited programming knowledge, but has enough to patch and repair minor issues. He's waiting for an old friend of his to come back to start helping him again, so this leads to me. He needed a custom backend made for his server, which required pulling data from an SQL/API and syncing with the server, and he was falling behind pace and asked for my help. He's a good friend that I've known for a while, and I knew it wouldn't take to long to create this, so I decided to help him. Which lead to an interesting find, and sorta made my night.
It wasn't really difficult, got it done within an hour, took some time to test and fix any bugs with his SQL database. But this is where it get's interesting, at least for me. He had roughly a few hundred people that did beta testing of the server, anyways, once the new backend was hooked in and working, I realized that the other developer he works with had created a 'custom' script to make sure there are no leaks of the database. Well, that 'custom' script actually begins wiping rows/tables (Depends on the sub-table, some get wiped row by row, some just get completely dropped), I just couldn't comprehend what had happened, as rows/tables just slowly started disappearing. It took me a while of checking, before checking his SQL query logs (At least the custom script did that properly and logged every query), to realize it just basically wiped the database.
Welp, after that, it began to restrict the API I was using, and due to this it identified the server as foreign access (Since it wasn't using the same key as his plugin, even though I had an API key created just so it could only access ranks and such, to prevent abuse) and begin responding not with denied, but with a lovely "Fuck you hacker!" This really made my night, I don't know why, but I was genuinely laughing pretty hard at this response.
God, I love his developer. Luckily, I had created a backup earlier, so I patched it and just worked around the plugin/API to get it working. (Hopefully, it's not a clusterfuck to read, writing this at 2 am with less than an hour of sleep, bedtime! Goodnight everyone.)7
After more than a year I decided to download whisper (app) again and see what was being said near me.
Holly shit the app is a total disappointment, first it crashes my fucking phone the instant I open it, I try to open it again and my God I'm presented with adds everywhere and a load speed so slow a dying tortoise would run circles around it.
The app finished loading the content and it's a clusterfuck of insipid commentary and images, "I bought beautiful new panties", "my lesbian friend doesn't think I'm cute", "any girl want to talk to me?".
After looking at the decaying state of the app I noticed I had notifications, apparently my account is active somehow, I tried to delete it but as it turns out the app has no way of doing that, YOU NEED TO CONTACT THE FUCKERS!
What the fuck?! Who the hell made this steaming pile of shit and said it was an app?!
Nothing more to add, I deleted right away.1
"How do I make this AI work?"
[Dirtyphonics and Sullivan King - Vantablack plays in background]
o shit here we go son
[ends up typing its lyrics while testing the chatbot]
Chatbot's response to the clusterfuck: "I don't understand"2
I've seen a lot of shitty code. REALLY shitty code...but this. Calling this shitty would be a compliment, so I'm not sure what to call it. The following is copied straight from his source code, which I'm tasked with finding a production logic bug in. The original composer of this masterpiece of one-line clusterfucks is no longer with the company of course, so his pile of shit is now my problem. The program is littered with stuff like this.
if(((FrontLowerLeft.X > tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X && FrontLowerLeft.X < tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X + tempPack.Dimensions.Width) || (FrontLowerLeft.X + Dimensions.Width > tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X && FrontLowerLeft.X + Dimensions.Width < tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X + tempPack.Dimensions.Width) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X > FrontLowerLeft.X && tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X < FrontLowerLeft.X + Dimensions.Width) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X + tempPack.Dimensions.Width > FrontLowerLeft.X && tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X + tempPack.Dimensions.Width < FrontLowerLeft.X + Dimensions.Width) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X == FrontLowerLeft.X && tempPack.Dimensions.Width == Dimensions.Width)) && ((FrontLowerLeft.Y > tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y && FrontLowerLeft.Y < tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y + tempPack.Dimensions.Height) || (FrontLowerLeft.Y + Dimensions.Height > tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y && FrontLowerLeft.Y + Dimensions.Height < tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y + tempPack.Dimensions.Height) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y > FrontLowerLeft.Y && tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y < FrontLowerLeft.Y + Dimensions.Height) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y + tempPack.Dimensions.Height > FrontLowerLeft.Y && tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y + tempPack.Dimensions.Height < FrontLowerLeft.Y + Dimensions.Height) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y == FrontLowerLeft.Y && tempPack.Dimensions.Height == Dimensions.Height)) && ((FrontLowerLeft.Z > tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z && FrontLowerLeft.Z < tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z + tempPack.Dimensions.Depth) || (FrontLowerLeft.Z + Dimensions.Depth > tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z && FrontLowerLeft.Z + Dimensions.Depth < tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z + tempPack.Dimensions.Depth) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z > FrontLowerLeft.Z && tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z < FrontLowerLeft.Z + Dimensions.Depth) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z + tempPack.Dimensions.Depth > FrontLowerLeft.Z && tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z + tempPack.Dimensions.Depth < FrontLowerLeft.Z + Dimensions.Depth) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z == FrontLowerLeft.Z && tempPack.Dimensions.Depth == Dimensions.Depth)))
//code that did stuff
//removed for "clarity"
This project is taking my soul out of me...
Every time I have to change something that has been changed countless times in the past 9 months and every time I see the clusterfuck it is becoming I literally feel my energy being sucked away.
Thank god I'm being interviewed by other companies already...4
My coworkers are always too busy to learn new things ... and the only thing they adopted is git... other than that its just a clusterfuck of spaghetti code that everybody develops the way they see fit...
at least we are using a local (because reasons) gitlab-ce that I managed to install on the shadows and kind of introduced it without disrupting their way of pulling pushing ...
and they didn't even log in there , only once.. to create the account 😐
why don't people have any passion to learn? :/2
No experience with paid work yet, but for sysadmin work I'd mostly look at the environment and how the previous admin left the premises, and why they left. I wouldn't want to work with a bird's nest for a server room, that's got everything jammed into one clusterfuck of a god-function sort of server or something crazy like that. Separation of services, security, wire management, all those things matter because that's the state that you'll be working in, and cleaning up someone else's mess.. it makes my blood boil.
Payment is important, and if the job doesn't pay well, don't take it. Or if they place a wee bit too much value in those expensive pieces of toilet paper called certificates, it denotes incompetence from the employer by being unable to gauge your skills on their own (and I get that there's time management involved, but come on.. how long can it take to have a conversation with someone to gauge what their skillset is). But the working environment in particular is of vital importance. If it's all going to be yours to build, great (and don't you dare to half-ass it -_-). But if it's already been partially done by someone else, they'd better done it well.
I hear a lot of complaints that having to study math/physics/* subjects is useless, because you don't need it in 99% of the IT jobs.
But so is software engineering, isn't it?
The tiniest companies ask for doctor titles, 19 years old senior developers with 30 years experience, architects and teamleads in the job listing and when the reality hits you, you find yourself being the bugfix bimbo and red button logic designer for architectures called "big pile of shit"©®™. And it will never change!
There is no time for proper software engineering when the deadline is set to the day before yesterday. And software engineering does not yield profit immediately. A big clusterfuck of features and bugs that somehow compensate each other does.
You study all this stuff to learn how to learn. Even if "you'll never need it again"™6
I can understand a site asking for donations.
I can understand a site with a clusterfuck of ads.
But if you run a site with a clusterfuck of annoying ads AND throw in a link asking for donations, you are a piece of money hungry shit.1
For the love of GOD, if you're an architect or someone in the position where you can make drastic changes to the overarching design of a software system, if you're so keen on enforcing something "cool" just because you've read about it in a blog post/seen it on a youtube video, READ ABOUT IT THOROUGHLY, as in, pick up a fucking book or do actual research. An architect overseas just informed us that a whole legacy PHP application (a fucking monolith with a dysfunctional database, yes, I think someone demented designed it) should be rewritten to a microservice architecture (without a messaging broker, just plain API interaction through HTTP) AND WE'RE KEEPING THE DATABASE WHICH BEGS TO BE PUT DOWN FOR GOOD. So now we're gonna have a clusterfuck of tons of PHP microservices (Q_Q) which interact through plain HTTP APIs (swagger's gonna be put to a test) and all have a single broken database in the center. Talk about a microlithic design. Jesus Christ.9
Completely fucked up replication of MySQL servers.
Remote: 2 different database Servers
--> made sense.
Except the misconfiguration. Or better: No configuration at all.
So how to solve the massiv delays and make everything even more crazy?
2 remote servers - 2 readonly slaves for reading data remote (master - slave)
2 local (internal) servers.
Remote - Local Master Master.
Unfucking this cluster fuck was a real nightmare.
It had to be done at night, cause everything needed to be ripped apart.
And the servers were the backend of a warehouse with supply chain and multiple selling channels (Amazon, eBay etcetera).
So. It had to run the next day at 05.00 clock so the incoming orders could be packaged / prepared for shipping.
That was fun. Not.
And the clusterfuck died spectaculously on my first work day - the old DBA was gone (fired....)
one thing I don't get from Kubernetes
if a group of containers are called pods, and pods are containers, and containers in Kubernetes are also inside containers, therefore, its a clusterfuck of containers?1
Man I fucking love debugging Windows applications... OpenVPN dun shit the bed because the management interface is locked (on the Windows client I presume?) - so poke that error message into the Gargler along with "openvpn windows"... First result, OpenVPN forums. Excellent. ... Some dickhead in the forums: "this is the wrong forum, this is for Access-Server users, and you the user MUST have terminated the process".
Come fucking on! If only I could replace this fucking device with a proper OS already (and no I can't). Windows itself being a clusterfuck is one thing but the goddamn support around it. Atrocious!5
Well, I just finished up moving a website from 2009 to a new server. The website is so old that it still used PHP short tags which took forever to fix, as it's a big website, and then I had to update all kinds of weird SQL queries. Of course, no documentation was available and the guy who made it doesn't work for my company anymore.
You want to know what's even worse? The website was made in 2009 with pure PHP code. After that they switched to Yii with phpBB for their forum. Two years ago they switched to WordPress, but still use some parts of the old system for management. Just imagine the clusterfuck of files and logic that exists within this website.
I really need to get out of this clusterfuck of a mess I got into, A.K.A. our website projects. Now, it feels more and more like all these problems and issues we're having are all my fault.
Here's the thing: I had 0 experience on web development before I got this job. I started as an intern, expecting to learn all the right practices and techniques on building websites. Nope. What happened was I was thrown in this big project, responsible for almost every functionality that it was supposed to have.
A junior-level guy. Doing a huge project on his own. Hell, I'm probably even lower than a junior. But here I am, pigeonholed in this shittard. My boss even said to me, "you know more about the website than I do." Fucking hell. He's not even aware of the clusterfucks I've done on the codebase because, fuck, what did I know? I don't even get feedbacks about my code. I don't fucking know if I'm doing all of these shit right. I don't know if this function is supposed to be here, or if it's supposed to behave that way, and, shit, the concept of test-driven development is probably something my boss has never heard of before.
So right now, I'm a bit obsessed with web development best practices, and how to write clean, maintainable code. I would probably get more learning from going to meetups than I will ever have from this place.
This has been a very shitty start of my career. I hope a much better learning experience will be plentiful at my next job (if anyone's willing to hire me). It would be like starting all over again. Sorry for the long post. I would like to put this as a blog post, but it's probably not a good idea, specially since I'm looking for a new job. Thank God for devRant.2
Swear work is where you I go to fix other peoples poor design decisions and clean up the bullshit that comes out of said decisions.
How you have so many years experience and still design in way that ensures that maintenance /improvements/touching in the future is a huuugggeee clusterfuck.
Hey, I got an idea, lets make this whole data warehouse without a single index or primary key cos you know, that's the Kimball Method.2
I signed a contract with a company that promised flexible working hours, homeoffice (100%) and no traveling. A month after starting traveling begun. Never had a day homeoffice (even though I only asked for it ONE time. And flexible hours my ass. Should I leave? I mean the payment is ok, not awesome but ok. Plus how those guys work there is a hell of a clusterfuck... Kind of depressed because of this situation :/5
"You're a tech person, can you fix my internet?"
(proceed to waste 2 hours facetiming as she points her phone camera around at a clusterfuck of cords going to/from her modem and phone setup)
So this stupid fuck whose react code is a clusterfuck of bugs just bashed me when I said Java is better then node because of reasons...
I was literally speechless while thinking if I should humiliate her or not.
Guess life will show her because I don't give a fuck.
So I'm not sure on how much Youtube can fuck up so much in a short time, but I'm actually suprised.
And I'm not just tslking of all the shady/bullshit bahavior and reasoning on content creators, but also on how this shitty new app is just one clusterfuck of not working shit.
One if the easiest features there is - the damn shuffle feature for a damn playlist - doesn't properly work since the first day it went live. Are you shitting me? Even after a felt decade they are still not able to fix it. Yet alone showing more than 200 in the playlist items (when a video is already playing)
But a simple feature which is useful to nearly everyone and which worked before is surely no problem when the damn service itself would work.
Aside that the app sometimes randomly crashes when leaving fullscreen mode (desktop) and making it for some magical way impossible to interact with the browser (WTF?!) until you resize it or wait for an eternity to relase you from that suffer.
On top of that pile of garbage, the videos don't load properly anymore. Whats the fucking point of showing how much of a video is supposidly loaded when you skip forward for 5sec and it has to buffer for 10 to continue?
Well, if that were to at least only happen when the video is skipped forwards/backwards. On some strange occasion (Probably when the stars arrange properly) than your connection to the servers is back in the stoneage. Because otherwise I can't explain how the fuck it has to lower the resolution down to 360p and STILL buffer. I have a fucking 10MByte/s+ DL rate, ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!
Now after over 1.5k chars I notice I maybe a bit over the top ... BUT FUCK IT. I mean, it's fucking youtube ffs. If the biggest videoplatform can't even create a properly working webapp, then what the fuck are you doing google?1
Browsing through an old project of mine which let you make 3D scans of a person with a Kinect and easily add it to a game.
I worked on it during my minor in Japan. It's such a clusterfuck of code and different pieces of software glued together. But man, I had _so_ much fun making it. Funny enough it brings back great memories of the time I spent there.
I'm amazed I was able to finish it in time, or at least something that resembles "finished". Literally the day before I went on a three week round trip I had to demo it. And it worked reasonably well. I'm so glad the professor didn't screw me over on that one. Then again the other person working on a project there only made a simple raspberry pi space invaders. Haha. What a lazy cunt. We were literally told we could do _anything_ we found interesting.
I don't blame him though, he wanted to spend (and did spend) most of his time partying and socializing while he was there. Good for him :)
I should post this baby up on Github, even though it's a shit stain of a project. I want to improve on it when I have time. Who knows, someone might actually view/use it once. That would make me so happy, even if he doesn't do anything with it.1
There was a big hairy ball of SW mud from another project that a poor coworker had to "reuse". Only that it was impossible because there was no documentation, shit was partly auto-generated with mysterious Excel tables, and the actual code was just as bad. No APIs and nothing, just hacking shit into globals, several nested state machines that were overriding each other's states, and with global side effects. WTF.
Two devs took a look at it - minimum 8 weeks. Schedule was some days, and PM insisted that it was "already working". But the worst thing was that the dev in charge had been looking for another job anyway and quit, so the whole clusterfuck suddenly was on my desk.
The code was so awful that I could only bear it with both eyes closed, so I instead read the spec of this project closely. Turned out that it didn't actually demand this feature, only a small subset of what the ball of mud was supposed to achieve - which I was able to implement from scratch within a day, plus another one for documentation. Phew.
Previous Post: https://devrant.com/rants/1557094/...
Holy Lamas! The fucked up SharePoint Saga continues.
Lick my glory Cucumber!
2 Weeks ago, Project Department Boss:
We will put a hold to the SharePoint development. Our Proof of Concept failed, even free opensource Software provides more functions.
Me: Alright, I just told you that from the beginning, but this were two great months wasted. In this time I had more important Stuff to do. But thanks that your four workers are overpayd and do batshit, GREAT.
Meeting last week, Project Dep. Head:
We will continue the SharePoint development. We will migrate all of our Data, even if it has a lot of flaws.
We will use OneNote as Wiki.
Me thinking: That's it, we are doomed!! I will suck my own Cucumber sideways... Please just once care about the People using this Software. Why do you say I am the most crucial guy for this project and then give a fuck about my ideas?!🤬
No they only care for the payslip and the promotions, even if the Software is a Clusterfuck😭.
I wont stand if you start using over 200 OneNote Documents!! This decision will drive us straight Bollocks in to the wall. That would be data Terrorism 2.0 🤬
Honestly I will either start give a fuck and plan out my own tool or give up entirely. But I can't my superior is such a nice person and has the wish for a great tool 😥. She even appointed me to this position, because I'm more tech savy than her.
Next week I will have some talks, this cant go on. Burning Millions of Dollars for years and just presenting shit. I never had dreamed, that I would be involved in such shit 🤦🏻♂️
If I start to dev myself, I will do it private beside my job, write up all my hours and get them payd out as a dev and not as a Supporter (Yea my position is IT-Supporter). That would be 180 $ per Hour.
Then I will show the fuckfaces how it's done. This was also suggested by my superiour, she's really a great person ❤️
Dear Microsoft, I see what you were going for, and I love you for it; but for the love of god, please fucking fix the clusterfuck that is Nuget.
I use a private feed for client work, and I have the public source registered too, so why would installing a new .core template from Nuget fail just because it tried the private feed first and shit itself?
It really shouldn’t be this hard.
a previous employee used a CMS called pimcore to develop an internal application, using only the admin interface.
now my supervisor wants me to implement a custom functionality that the system doesn't quite offer(querying an external database) in a way so that it doesn't interfere with the rest od the app; so I have to filter through a clusterfuck of auto-generated code and UI to find where, how and why components of the page are generated.
don't get me wrong, pimcore seems to be a solid CMS, but it's just the wrong tool for the job.
Jesus Christ, Minecraft source code (with forge in this case) is such a clusterfuck of spaghetti logic. It's especially fun when it uses a lot of reflection and dynamic class lookups...6
HOLY FUCK! Why is JS world so fucking confusing? I haven't even started learning it and its already giving me a headache. I feel like there are a billion different things i have to learn that aren't just "vanilla js". All i want to do is learn some web dev, take on freelance work, become a digital nomad. Im a simple C++ and ios/android developer things are so straight forward. JS seems like a clusterfuck of just stuff 😧 Id like to say this isnt a my language is > than yours rant. This is a "like what the fuck" rant. My brain was like Html, Css, JS cool thats all i have to learn... boy was i wrong. Can someone give me a word of wisdom as i go down this apparent rabbit hole?8
So to give you a feel for what evil, clusterfuck code it was in: this projects largest part was coded by a maniac, witty physicist confined in the factory for a month, intended as a 'provisional' solution of course it ran for years. The style was like C with a bit of classes.. and a big chunk of shared memory as a global mud of storage, communication and catastrophe. Optimistic or no locking of the memory between process barriers, arrays with self implemented boundary checks that would give you the zeroth element on failure and write an error log of which there were often dozens in the log. But if that sounds terrifying already, it is only baseline uneasyness which was largely surpassed by the shear mass of code, special units, undocumented madness. And I had like three month to write a simulator of the physical factory and sensors to feed that behemoth with the 'right' inputs. Still I don't know how I stood it through, but I resigned little time afterwards.
Well, lastly to the bug: there was some central map in that shared memory that hold like view of the central customer data. And somehow - maybe not that surprisingly giving the surrounding codebase - it sometimes got corrupted. Once in a month or two times a day. Tried to put in logging, more checks - but never really could pinpoint the problem... Till today I still get the haunting feeling of a luring memory corruption beneath my feet, if I get closer to the metal core of pure C.1
I hate, hate, hate sockets! All the mysterious way they can fail. The subtleties, different API's if you switch between Linux to Mac, etc.
If the communication between (supposedly) deterministic machines is already such a clusterfuck, how do we even get sentences across humans and act as if we understood?10
So time for some stories!
DevRant Masters, what did you find the most Challenging when starting out as a dev?
For me it wasnt actually writing good code, it was more about finding out WHERE to write it, in this clusterfuck of shared projects inside projects.1
when i look at the code structure of the project i work on with my friends, i always think about how to implement the SOLID principles of bob martin for clean code
... and then i think about the clusterfuck of almost unmaintainable code that has been created over time and all the unit testing that doesn't exist at all and how much time and effort it would need to correct that code and how i realize that i don't even understand the principles and how to implement them
... and then i give up and go on coding even more mess
... and then i repeat😅😖😩3
I'm forced to learn Racket at University. What type of clusterfuck of a language is this?!
How come this shitty language doesn't even support floating point modulo and finding positions in a list...? Let alone those goddamn parentheses...7
UPS website is a clusterfuck of bad design decisions.
I hate myself every time I have to use that piece of shit.
Someone literally went the extra mile to make it worse in any way possible.
I pray to God that person is not alive anymore.
HP Switches are a clusterfuck of shit.
The command line interface seems to be designed in a way to ensure that HP support engineers will always be needed.
My supervisor and I figured it would be easier for our task to go and steal some Cisco switches from the other department to avoid having to deal with this giant pain in the ass
I've been doing code reviews for my team and other teams for quite a while now, but for one particular project I only just realised that they have separate repositories for the actual website, and a sandbox version. They're both identical with the exception of the sandbox repository having sandbox classes. So basically any changes done to the main repository also has to be copied into the sandbox repository, and its all done manually.
So I went around asking why there are 2 repositories and I just kept getting the answer because one is main, the other is sandbox. I asked why aren't they just combined into a single repository since sandbox is based on a server environment but everyone keep saying they don't know.
Projects without any form of planning can be scary and/or a total clusterfuck.
Long time nothing from Mr. Gitmaster, somehow made my peace with him as the project moved out of my focus and he actually seemed to be contributing.
But now some pull request exchanges burst into flames as if they were on LKLM before Linus got castrated. Actually it's with the guy who is jamming out most of the front end code trying to make a really shiny UI with lots of animations that turn our macs into heaters.
Well, debate was over JS code styles or lack thereof and how commented out code should be removed (would actually support Mr gitmaster here). They have me a bit lost there, as I expect the freestyle JS code we produce without any agreed Coding Style Guideline to be an even greater clusterfuck than our C++ code base.
Anyway, hope they come to terms again, like at the start of the project when they jokingly attributed one another as assholes. Their opposing characters could actually benefit from each other.
So, do any of your poor fuckers have the opportunity - nay, PRIVILEGE of using the absolute clusterfuck piece of shit known as SQL Server Integration Services?
Why do I keep seeing articles about how "powerful" and "fast" it is? Why do people recommend it? Why do some think it's easy to use - or even useful?
It can't report an error to save its life. It's logging is fucked. It's not just that it swallows all exceptions and gives unhelpful error messages with no debugging information attached, its logging API is also fucked. For example, depending on where you want to log a message - it's a totally different API, with a billion parameters most of which you need to supply "-1" or "null" to just to get it do FUCKING DO SOMETHING. Also - you'll only see those messages if you run the job within the context of SQL FUCKING SERVER - good luck developing on your ACTUAL FUCKING MACHINE.
So apart from shitty logging, it has inherited Microsoft's insane need to make everything STATICALLY GODDAMN TYPED. For EVERY FUCKING COMPONENT you need to define the output fields, types and lengths - like this is 1994. Are you consuming a dynamic data structure, perhaps some EAV thing from a sales system? FUCK YOU. Oh - and you can't use any of the advances in .NET in the last 10 years - mainly, NuGet and modern C# language features.
Using a modern C# language feature REMOVES THE ABILITY TO FUCKING DEBUG ANYTHING. THE FUCKER WILL NOT STOP ON YOUR BREAKPOINTS. In addition - need a JSON parsing library? Want to import a SDK specific to what you're doing? Want to use a 3rd party date library? WELL FUCK YOU. YOU HAVE TO INDEPENDENTLY INSTALL THE ASSEMBLIES INTO THE GAC AND MAKE IT CONSISTENT ACROSS ALL YOUR ENVIRONMENTS.
While i'm at it - need to connect to anything? FUCK YOU, WE ONLY INCLUDE THE MOST BASIC DATABASE CONNECTORS. Need to transform anything? FUCK YOU, WRITE A SCRIPT TASK. Ok, i'd like to write a script task please. FUCK YOU IM GOING TO PAUSE FOR THE NEXT 10 MINUTES WHILE I FIRE UP A WHOLE FUCKING NEW INSTANCE OF VISUAL STUDIO JUST TO EDIT THE FUCKING SCRIPT. Heaven forbid you forget to click the "stop" button after running the package and open the script. Those changes you just made? HAHA FUCK YOU I DISCARDED THEM.
I honestly cant understand why anyone uses this shit. I guess I shouldn't really expect anything less from Microsoft - all of their products are average as fuck.
Why do I use this shit? I work for a bunch of fucks that are so far entrenched in Microsoft technologies that they literally cannot see outside of them (and indeed don't want to - because even a cursory look would force them to conclude that they fucked up, and if you're a manager thats something you can never do).
Ok, rant over. Also fuck you SSIS
If a project's structure is shit, well of course, let's continue using it because "it is known". Doing it any other way "will add complexity".
That I wasted three days making my working code adhere to the clusterfuck of a structure, nevermind that. Let's continue. And yes, colleagues do agree that the structure is shit, though let's improve it ... later.
Or in other words: Suck it up, we always have done it this way. Fuck you and your ill-advised attempts of trying to improve it.
So I took to try vuejs for a new project and oh god what a fucking mistake I have made... it literally took me less time to write whole backend of 10k lines, than to pass values around in that vue.shit. That useless retarded clusterfuck shitwork is a fucking nightmare, to finally get the result I needed I had to forget all fucking good programming practices I have learnt over years and implement bunch of stupid hacks and workarounds, just to pass values from one component to another... And I am not even talking about runtime compiling... and that stupid documentation that tries to prove you that everything is so fucking amazing, but even basic adapted examples works with motherfucking unexpected side-effects. Fuck that over hyped crap and that sucker who created it.4
When I was attending my last year CS at uni I was approached by a startup that was funded by my uni.
It was the usual clusterfuck, an app idea that two business majors came up with. The idea was ok, but they had no coding experience. I was supposed to to set up everything and they told me that they might pay me with stocks.
(When they tell you they MIGHT pay you, you know its fucking bad)
There was so many red flags at this point so I told myself there is no way in hell I would do jackshit for them.
So I played along for a while, just so I could use them as a reference when I applied for a real job, and it actually worked.
Sometimes I go and look at the domain just to see where they ended up.
They didnt get past the index page.1
Why are hooks so awful?
What justifies having everyone using React relearn how to do things when hooks do not bring any new features to React?
Why does getting setInterval to work with hooks require a ~3000 word blog post by a maintainer which constantly assures you this IS a step forward?
Is scrolling up and down a class component really so hard that this clusterfuck is worth it?
Fucking vagrant is supposed to streamline the fucking process and make everyone’s life easier, not ruin it with a shitload of bugs. Every fucking time!!! I’ll be better off using a USB, transferring the OS setup files at 2.0 speeds files, shoving it far up my rectum, shitting it the fuck out, and having the pipes transfer it over to you in the two fucking hours it’s taking me to fucking debug this clusterfuck.
Best: working on a cool xamarin project for a few months with a very cool client which made me a better dev;
Worst: working on a shitty legacy web - a clusterfuck of technologies, crappy workarounds and even shittier clients for the rest of the year;
So today was my last day before heading off for an2 week holiday. Spent most of the day explaining to my team what needs to be done and how everything has been structured for the current project, but I get the feeling they don't understand any of it.
Pretty sure I'll be coming back to a clusterfuck.
Fuck. Communication is important and everyone seems to be acknowledging it, but no one is actually doing it.
I think I might've been not so polite today because of the clusterfuck happening because of our lack of communication, professionalism and foresight...
I'm tired and am seriously thinking if leaving and starting my own thing.
How come if I do something simple in the AWS web console or cli, it takes less than a second, but if I do it in cloudformation, it takes almost precisely 60 seconds?
Is there just a clusterfuck of queues or something in the cfn backend that only get serviced at stupidly slow intervals? WTF AWS!!
Also inb4 terraform (I wish).
Easy rant that sets me off. Creating an ERD with correct Database Normalization from an existing clusterfuck!
Tasked with eval’ing SPA frameworks.
Gets down to business with Vue.
Fuck this shit.
It’s lovely when it works, but heaven help you if *anything* is slightly off.
What the fuck is Webpack?! Fucking ugly-ass, hydra-looking fuckery is what it is.
Cypress? Hah! Does it want to work? No it fucking does not.
Does anything tell me what’s wrong? Nope.
I love OSS, but so much of it a complete clusterfuck of duct tape and prayers.4
I fucking hate what Google Feed has become. Is the Google Feed team composed of infinite monkeys on infinite computers trying to churn out the worst possible user experience with each update? Adding to the existing clusterfucking mess of unswipeable cards and unintuitive tabbed design that is inconsistent all over Android, they are now testing fucking Ads on the feed. Fuck Google Feed. I miss the old Google now cards. Listen to your users!
Getting Cluster Container Servers running with a static NFS Server in the Background.
This could be called "clusterfuck", cause my mind was fucked.
TIL that Debian package names are not allowed to have underscores in their names. Toast my tomatoes. As if file name conventions, like discouraging colons, would not be enough, you just added another useless bit of entropy to all the clusterfuck information just because you established a naming scheme yourself where you delimited the versions and date with an underscore from the package name.2
Bitcore API, because it’s a clusterfuck of methods that look senseless with a bunch of docs here and there. Love it.