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Why do shithead clients think they can walk away without paying us once we deliver the project !!!
So, here goes nothing..
Got an online gig to create a dashboard.
Since i had to deal with a lot of shitheads in the past, I told them my rules were simple, 20% advance, 40% on 50% completion and 40% after i complete and send them proof of completion. Once i receive the payment in full, only then i will hand over the code.
They said it was fine and paid 20%.
I got the next 40% also without any effort but they said they also needed me to deploy the code on their AWS account, and they were ready to pay extra for it, so i agreed.
I complete the whole project and sent them the screenshots, asking for the remaining 40% payment. They rejected the request saying my work was not complete as i had not deployed on AWS yet. After a couple of more such exchanges, i agreed to setup their account before the payment. But i could sense something fishy, so i did everything on their AWS account, except registered the domain from my account and set up everything. Once i inform them that its done and ask for the remaining payment.
The reply i got was LOL.
I tried to login to the AWS account, only to find password had been changed.
Database access revoked.
Even my admin account on the app had been removed. Thinking that they have been successful, they even published ads about thier NEW dashboard to their customers.
I sent them a final mail with warning ending with a middle finger emoji. 24 hours later,
I created a github page with the text " This website has been siezed by the government as the owner is found accused in fraud" and redirected the domain to it. Got an apology mail from them 2 hours later begging me to restore the website. i asked for an extra 10% penalty apart from the remaining payment. After i got paid, set an auto-reply of LOL to thier emails and chilled for a week before restoring the domain back to normal.
Dev : 1
Shithead Client: 021
It's always the same shit with some developers. Someone notices that an app is calling an API way too much, causing it to throttle. This is caused by a UI that does ~100-400 HTTP requests when you open a page. Someone comes and offers multiple solutions to cut down those requests by changing the UI behavior, dropping the request amount to less than 10% or maybe even zero.
Then comes one developer "WhY cAn'T We bAtCh thE ReQueSts?" Well, you fucking blockhead, what's the point in rendering 300 items on a page anyway when at any given time a user can maybe see five of them on his screen? These numbskulls have zero idea of how to solve technical issues with simple UX tweaks. Learn some UI/UX design if you're a front-end developer ffs.6
So they finally implemented vaccination certificates here that are apparently "WHO recognized" and you can generate it online. We used to only have vaccination cards. Guess what?
1. There's a data privacy section that's supposed to be step 1 but when you load the page, you're on step 2 where you have to enter your details. Step 1 is not clickable, you advanced child! You're skipping grades, congrats.
2. They have questions that can be answered with "yes" or "no", the question itself is a drop-down and wait, clicking it opens a dialog box that has two radio buttons for "yes" or "no". Amazin'.
3. Some words are capitalized for no fucking reason. It's so random, it makes you wonder if such entities exist and you just don't know about them.
4. There's minimal validation for the dates and even the bare minimum doesn't make sense.
5. You have to enter each detail in perfect order, otherwise it will assume you didn't enter anything.
6. Some of the fields are required but it allows you to proceed anyway. Well, it's your fault, get fucked.
7. Their version of CAPTCHA is literally a dialog box with random texts on it. TEXTS. If you enter it wrong, it doesn't generate a new one so take your time, dear. You'll get it right.
8. When it tells you that you did something wrong (rare), it flashes a black box at the top of the page that says "Oops, that's incorrect!" A literal fucking high school project.
9. When you finally reach the last page, it proudly informs you that they have successfully looked you up except your name is wrong. You know it's you from the first and last name, the date of birth, the vaccine brand, the vaccination site, time, and date. For some reason, the middle name is wrong and it's not a matter of "John" and "Jhon" or "Louise" and "Louis". They got the first two syllables right, removed one, and made up the few others. HOW?
I remember going to the vaccination site and seeing the brand new tablets they struggle to use. They even have keyboards and some slick leatherette casing for each. There's not a single scratch on those things. They have the best of the best tools while typing with one hand. Okay, maybe it's not the best tool but it's ages away from the typical pen and paper oops-i-lost-it system they had before. I chastised myself for being a cunt. "Come on, they're trying."
This is where our taxes go. High end tools for the damn fools. Even the website, just like every other government website, looks like a high school student's project. I thought the last bullshit I'll ever see was that stupid OTP crap that doesn't actually send you an OTP, it just writes the numbers on the textbox and all you have to do is press the OK button.
God have mercy.2
I’m goin nuts here. I’m trying to build a website and everytime i think i’m finished the designer adds a little change or an extra page. Meanwhile projectmanager is asking if we can finish asap. Fuuuuuckofffff6
Thats top notch design.
All actions happening on the page go to one endpoint. Removing old trusted computers, changing the password, changing 2FA, you name it.
Now if you want to remove all old trusted devices, you cannot remove all at once, there is no button for it. So you click one after the other. And then it stops working. Ok, then do the normal password rotation. Hmm, button has a loading spinner and then nothing happens.
Looking into the browser console:
- All requests go to /myaccount/security/graphql
- All requests get a 429 Too many requests
- Even if you just click a panel, it tracks the action to the graphql endpoint. Or at least tries to because even that gets shot down with a 429
Pretty dumb, eh? Must be some small shitty website. It's not. It's fucking paypal.1
Does the weekly rant page have some kind of off-by-one error? It seems to always display the last week's posts on mondays.5
I spent the whole damn day trying to setup grpc-web, but this protocol is documented so damn poorly!
You manage to set grpc up for one language and it’s all cool, then you stupidly think that you are free to reuse the compiler you used for the nodejs version for your frontend part but nope! Our web module is now deprecated, please use this module instead!
“Ah yes just clone the repo and check out (…) and you can also check this link whic is in no way highlighted in the middle of a wall of text (…)”
*checking the other page*
Ah yes you need to install a package available only on your unix machine (great! Screw the devs in my team who use windows I guess, they’ll be happy to hear this!) and don’t forget to clone this repo to build your own plugin! And by that I ofc mean to compile it on your own!
- compiler error
After digging for an hour you find a requirement in an obscure issue opened and closed cause “ah yes we have a dependency not stated anywhere” *close issue and never add it to the project*
Fine, fine I can survive this bs
- another compiler error, no solution found after 2 hours
Honestly? Why the fuck do I need to compile this stuff? Just give me a damn npm package I can use? Goddamn it’s just transpiling, you don’t need access to my OS! (Aside for fs to save the files, and which btw is accessible via nodejs)
Now, I COULD download the latest realease as a precompiled, but… honestly?
I give up, I’ll do some shitty rest apis cause the customer’s not paying me enough for even THINKING to go trough this shit again when they’ll ask an iOS app. Or having colleagues asking me to help them understand how to do it.
Side note: also add typescript support to the web-code-generation ffs! Why does node have it and web don’t?5