I'm the biggest dumbass, the laziest procrastinator I know of..

Joined devRant in June 2017, got eligible for the stickers in a week's time, sent a mail requesting them, but never received it. Given the size of our community, I thought I'm way behind in the list and probably receive them in few months. After a year, I totally forgot about it.

But, the colossal stupid that I am, had also lost the key to my mailbox (the physical one). I never cared about the lost key, because who sends post these days !!!

When I finally got a duplicate key for my mailbox after 2 years, guess what I found.. a first class international mail from devRant which arrived on July 2017 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️, couple of weeks after I originally requested

But, yay... I finally got them..

I have lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.

Best HTTP 404 Not Found Error Ever !!

Toughest part of git is writing the commit message

Request URL: /api/v1/user/53b49b5a30
Request Method: GET

Expected Response:
Status Code: 404 Not Found (as the user is actually not present in the DB)

Actual Response:
Status Code: 200 Ok
Response Content:
{
"status": "ERROR",
"errorCode": "404",
"errorMsg": "User Not Found. Please provide a valid user ID",
"type": "Error",
"userMsg": "User Not Found. Please provide a valid user ID"
}

#extremefacepalm

Today, I was telling a team member who joined recently to refer a GitHub repo, fork it and start working.

That person asks me, "Why GitHub, why should I access it etc". I blanked out after hearing the first question, so whatever said after that wasn't registered in my mind.

I asked that person "how did you do it in your previous org ?"

The response was, "we zip the code at end of everyday and store it as draft in our mailbox"

I stormed out of the workplace, even though it was just around mid of the day...

Come on Mac... We already have industry legends like Windows updates, Gradle build etc.. you don't want to be part of that legend :(

When I realized that my rant on wk60 had only one ++ and that one was by @dfox, I was glad that I'm not alone 😀

Most horrible part of my life:

Boss: Hey J make an android app where people can access my website.

J: Why not just use the browser on your phone?

Boss: Because I said so.

J: Ok, you want me to make an android app for your website whilst editing photos and videos for you? Can't you get someone else to do it?

Boss: Just get it done.

I have never doubted my abilities more, before this happened:

I got a Linux VM on Azure, downloaded apache httpd source which I proceeded to configure, make and install.

As expected, install failed with something related to apr and apr-util.

Searched several mailing lists, tried out several configure options, nothing worked..

After almost an hour, it stuck to me, all I had to do was "sudo yum install httpd" !!!

Disappointed that I missed something so simple, but when I did that, it came back with 'Nothing to do'...

Realized, httpd was pre-installed in that VM.. I just had to start the service !!!

:facepalm

Why doesn't companies give Alienware for devs instead of a Dell Latitude ???

They can at least provide 👽 backpack, if not the laptop itself ☹️

Respectfully excluding MacBook from this rant !!

#firstworldproblems

REST is history?? I don't think so.

Finally, got this piece of beauty and badass combined, just to get some peace at work...

Now, dare those noisy neighbors, who doesn't silence their mobile and laptops, making loud chimes in IM, playing music on speakers and knocking at my desk when I'm on headphones and clearly don't want to be disturbed...

Co-workers disturbing train of thought ...

Moral of the day -

Thus spake the Master Programmer:

"When a program is being tested, it is too late to make design changes."

- The Tao of programming

Sheldon 'Spock' Cooper sits atop my monitor, assuming the role of my debugging buddy !!!

dev: Can you add a master branch to the following Git repositories ? They are newly created and we don't see any branch.

me: Whaaattt are you asking ???

This is how the day started.

#quadruplefacepalm

Found this gem of a comment in a code base written 4 years back.

/*
Invoke <Service Base URL>/asset/v2/details/<SN> to get asset details
Feeling very bad to include this call, but we really need to use this !!!
This call is gonna take ~20s to respond. I've even increased the overall timeout of this module, just for this call !!!
So, if you are looking to debug any performance issue, I wish you jump directly here,
remove this call and just use master data management (MDM)
P.S: It is not that simple, as MDM and this asset DB (both asset masters) has differences in how the asset is defined :(
*/

Still trying to understand how to remove this costly time-consuming call and replace with an efficient one !!

And, of-course, the original author left 2 years back :(

I wish I could slap my boss while he is asking me to work on weekends without extra pay!!

Me to librarian: can you please help me find "self help books"?

Librarian: NO!

Update on my previous rant -

Mac restart after upgrade got stuck due to a fucking corrupted kext file, had to switch between recovery and safe/verbose mode to isolate that bastard, move him out of the folder and then do a clean restart.. Then, after 7 hours, it said 15 minutes remaining to complete installation...

Finally, it came up fine, doing healthy :)

Dear Mac, You, Sir, gave me a scare during a restart and are becoming like Windows (note: bsod) :(

Why should I load balance you ? You are the biggest load balancer in the whole world !!!

Developing a notification API, sends emails to subscribers, email API can take only 100 IDs at once, so partitioned the email list and send mails in blocks of 100.

Forgot to reset the list after every block, so each new partition got appended to the existing list and kept going on.

Ran it against a test DB, which was recently refreshed with near-prod data !!! Thousands of emails went out of the app server in one shot and everybody receiving numerous duplicate emails. Especially the ones in the very first partition.

Got an incident raised by the CEO himself reg the flurry of emails. But, things were out of our hands, quite literally. All emails are queued up in the exchange server.

Called up the exchange server team, purged​ the queued emails. No other emails were sent/received during this whole episode.

Thanks to Iterables.partition in the present day.

Go home IRCTC.. you are drunk!! 😂😂

Zip file back-ups for version control ??? And, more people do that over Mercurial ???

Why am I sad, depressed, demotivated, you ask?
Because I was asked to create-react-app with nodemailer, it worked well on heroku, YAYYY MEE, "

"NOTHING GOES WRONG IN DEPLOYMENT FUCK YEAH"

Little did I know that was a "demo" for the business people, My superior / manager/boss wants me to deploy on 1and1 service provider,

> Okay 1 and 1 service provider does provide Nodej, so it shouldn't be hard.
> Turns out it is a Windows hosting server IIS 10 without URL Rewrite.
> *INTERNAL SCREAMING*
I went up to him to talk about this issue and requested to let me talk to 1 and 1, and get this sorted

> But bro, if we cannot fix it, I think they also cannot fix, probably.

*INTERNAL SCREAMING AT PEAK*

I just want URL Rewrite installed on IIS10 so that I can move on to the next project.
A little background for this project
> No support from him during development.

> I personally used HD Images, because why not?

> Website seems slow because of HD Images, and now he complains about it.

You fucking (managers) want a website to be scalable and fast and yet you choose to focus on B U S I N E S S instead of support the real guy.

I'm fucking sick and tired, it took me 24 hours figure out the issue because there is nothing on 1 and 1 support/ forum/help center.

Another 24 hours to try and fix, yet no luck.

I'm gonna finally point the domain name to heroku. Fuck, I'm so fucking done

In case of emergency:
git commit
git push
git out

Performance tuning Jetty ? On Windows ?? Seriously ??? ROFL...

Me: the web app is downloading a lot of static content while loading the page, leading to the app being very slow in low bandwidth locations. can you ensure compression is enabled while serving static files ?

UI Developer: sure, I'll look into​ that. Btw, I have a question reg that.

Me: yes, pls.

UI Developer: once the compressed static files are downloaded to the browser​, should I write a separate module to uncompress them ?

Me: :-(Strategic Facepalm)

F**king hate Windows for its insanely confusing proxy setup required for software development...

> Setup proxy in Windows network settings
> Then, setup HTTP_PROXY & HTTPS_PROXY environment variable at the system/user level.
> Followed by separate proxy settings for java, maven, docker, git, npm, bower, jspm, eclipse, VS Code, every damn IDE/Editor which downloads plugins...
> On top of everything, find out the domains which does not need to go through proxy and add them to NO_PROXY.. at each level..
> It does not end here. Sometimes, I need to setup proxy for SSH connections... like, if I have to use git with SSH and not HTTP/S... Uhhh....

More than half of the problems me and my dev team face is related to setting the right proxy. Why can't it be like, set in one place and everything picks up from there, like in any linux machine or for God's sake, a Mac ?

Worst of all is, my org uses a configuration script, which resolves into a list of proxy servers, from which one of them will be used. So, I need to download that script, find out which is the right proxy server and then, use it in all the aforesaid places... WTH ?????

Is this a common workplace problem for all developers ??? Will this be solved by Windows Subsystem for Linux ???

I wonder how many spam mails "abc@gmail.com" would be getting

I'm a backend developer and one day my team lead asked me to make a architecture diagram of our system, which he had to put in a PPT and demo it to a client. I did it for 15-20 minutes. And I completely hated doing it. I went and said "I will not do it". He then just took it from me and did it.. which he is supposed to. Felt very Very good doing that!!

While setting up a node app while sitting behind draconian proxies:
- first, set $http_proxy & $https_proxy
- set git proxy
- then, npm proxy, jspm proxy and bower proxy
- followed by strictSSL to false.....
After moving to home network/VPN, change all of these proxies again. It is a never ending vicious circle :(

Fuck... This is not how I wanted my Saturday to go..

My Mac restart after update took more than an hour (check my previous rant), went into not responding mode, then got aborted, ultimately ending up with a corrupted disc. Now, not booting up at all...

Into recovery mode now and trying all other options..

Hope my time machine did a good job, else this is gonna be a heartbreaking day !!!

Sometimes i feel pity for the people who had to work without git. Then I realize that the same people are my boss now.

Screw them! I'm happy they had to go through that!! 😂😂

Lost 3 earphones / headphones in one week...

Looking for a new one, over the ear headphone, which can come along with me for years...

!rant - developers figured out flipkart should focus web instead of mobile-only, before the company changed strategy ???

For a new microservice we were designing, I recently had a design discussion with a team member on creating REST endpoints for a new entity. This discussion went on for almost 3 hours, most of the time was spent on why to have two endpoints for getting this resource, one is a POST using a graphQL-like query and another one is a GET using unique ID. I said, the client-side use case is different, one is a dashboard where search results need to be shown based on multiple fields and the unique ID won't be available there because it is a system generated value, second one will be used when the unique ID is present in the client as a result of previous search result. Their responses will be similar, first returns a list of entities, second returns a single entity of the same structure.

Then came the next argument: if both APIs are returning same response, why do we need two different requests ?

It was like saying, because 5+6=11, any sum of two numbers resulting in 11 should always use 5 & 6.

Are people so frustrated of working remotely all the time that they come with such weird arguments ?

All I did was press Ctrl + Shift + O & Ctrl + Shift + F on the eclipse package manager, just before commit. It ended up changing 122 files with 12640 additions and 13916 deletions...

Somewhere within these files are my actual changes which need to be committed...

I am not leaving work at least for today !!!

Haven't ranted about anything for quite a while... So, is everything perfect in my work and life ? Or, is something reallllly wrong that I haven't even realized what it is ??

- Eclipse (especially when plugged in with any SCM, excluding Che)
- RichFaces / PrimeFaces (from the pre SPA era)
- WebLogic (how many times do you need to be restarted in a day? )
- SOAP (not a dev technology, but even as a protocol. Thank You Microsoft !!!)
- Struts (what were you doing at the same time as Spring ??? )
- GWT (how did this even find its place inside Google? )

Need more time a deeper retrospective of each dev tech I've come across :(

Why does our boss think that there is "fix it" button for every bug.. which will magically solve the bug in 1 minute.

Didn't see this mentioned before. BeyondCompare is one I use everyday, but goes unnoticed in the fav software list.

Best way to not get distracted by the one(s) sitting in nearby cubicle(s) and talking loudly on a multi-hour teleconference: HANS ZIMMER

P.S: Over-the-ear headphones & any of Hans soundtrack will work, esply Inception & Dark Knight !!

First conference, yay! I'm at AngularConnect in London the next two days. Exciting times.

Worst part of having a stupid team lead is that you first have to explain the work twice and then start the implementation.. which makes the 15 minutes work as 40 minutes.

- the 2 hr meeting called for every day of a week, to prepare for a PPT which is to be presented to a higher up exec within 5 mins.
- the sprint planning meeting, where all the stories of that sprint are already weighted and assigned to the devs, but it still goes for 2 hrs
- the backlog grooming meeting, where instead of looking at the sprint backlog, the current sprint is looked at and discussed.

4 hours to a major release, decided to remove a web service from the app, instead do whatever that service was supposed to do in a DB query, as just realized that the foresaid service will be called only once to fix some data discrepancy !!!

Npm get your JSON parsing right 😂😂

How the hell can my boss expect to work half day on "team outing"

So close yet so far..... All my project deadlines

For those who are on my team, arguing on not putting comments in their code:

How much ever (un)readable your code is, any peer / reviewer / future team member can only understand what that code snippet is doing, but not why was it written in the first place or what the hell you were thinking while writing that logic. So, it'll be awesome if you write that as comments or at least link to the story/design doc which warranted that code.

!rant

I graduated about a month ago and took a little break from coding. Now I'm looking for a side project to get the rust off in order to prepare for my job, which I start in August.

Got any ideas? I'm looking for something I can learn a lot from.

A person calling himself a technical lead should have some knowledge about what his subordinates are doing!! It's really a mess for me when my TL says I don't know how to do it, for a problem that I have been trying for almost 4 hours, but you'll have to do it somehow!!

Why do all the project managers get all the hate!?

!False it's funny because it's true Tee.

I really hope that Google maps puts his optimization aside and just take me home on a good road.. and not from somewhere Goofy!!