Job offers be like:
We need a VIRGIN with atleast 2 years EXPERIENCE of SEX...

I am a student. I like my tech. I am obsessed with it.

And I've studied hard my entire life thinking it was gonna pay off one day.

2021 rolls around. AI gets wild. I'm not threatened, because I understand it's a natural part of technological progress, and hence inevitable.

I am not against it, but I've always held off on using it until I have no other options.

I've been coding ever since 9, since my dad taught me how to mess with variables in Python on a Raspberry Pi 3B+ hooked up to our TV.

I loved it. Still do.

So when AI came along and people started vibe-coding, I understood why - but I kept my distance. I knew it was a tool, but I also knew becoming over-reliant would cost me big-time in terms of my intellectual development.

I'm in college now.

I have a thing for coding manually. I love building stuff from scratch and I'm good at it. When my peers ask me why I dont use ChatGPT, or Claude, or Perplexity, etc, I tell them that it wont help me interview for a job. Because companies test your skill.

Right?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

THOUGHT WRONG DIDNCHA? GET FUCKED LOSER. MUHUHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.

COMPANIES ARE STARTING TO ALLOW AI IN INTERVIEWS.

YES! BECAUSE WHY WOULD WE ASK EMPLOYEES TO LEARN SHIT WHEN A MACHINE ALREADY KNOWS ALL?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN IF I SPENT YEARS OF MY LIFE PAINSTAKINGLY BUILDING EACH FUNCTION AND METHOD, ONLY FOR THAT TO BE STOLEN BY AN AI WHO CHARGES YOU MONEY FOR EACH QUERY?

FOR THINGS THAT ARE AND HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ON THE WEB?

I feel lost now. I've looked forward to college all my life.

I've always been mocked for wanting a desk job because people somehow think it is limiting.

But I loved it. Every moment of it. Because it felt _right_.

This was always happiness to me.

I've always been an extroverted kid with no friends. Don't ask how. I just don't have the humor that people find attractive.

This was my life. This was something I was good at.

And now an algorithm does it all.

A business major who can't even change his screen brightness now has the audacity to mock my work because his LLM can do more than mine.

Fuck y'all. I still love this. I've been doing this all my life, and I'll keep doing it.

And if one of you uneducated, uncultured, smooth-brained fucks remind me ONE MORE TIME that you can "code" better than me just because you can type into a textbox, then BEST BELIEVE I will go Dark Souls on your ass.

We maintain an internal java framework, and one of its components requires a configuration file with a simple field: "Timestamp = 09112025000001".

Because this timestamp is persisted in a central database for state management, the developer is forced to manually increment the value after every single test run to avoid collisions. (I know... legacy systems...)

Anyway, a developer called us because they were running into a strange issue with the framework. We jumped on a debugging session, and I asked them to pull up their configuration file.

I fully expected to see a slightly incremented number, maybe 09112025000002, or at worst, a random number to ensure uniqueness. You know, anything numeric.

Instead, the timestamp they had been using was:
Timestamp = 091120250000K

A letter. A single, non-numeric character sitting right there in a field clearly named "Timestamp." I had to blink a few times. I mean, what is the thought process here? Did they hit the wrong key and just decide to commit to it?

The worst part: That wasn't even the root cause of the bug they called us about. But after seeing that config, I had to step away for a mental health break.

We desperately need better input validation, because our "robust" framework apparently accepts a letter as a valid time marker...

I am so tired of people during interviews expecting me to be totally excited about AI.

Don’t get me wrong, I use it… Just when I need. Which means not that often.

And then I get the usual cliché sentences.

“You’d be faster if you were using AI more”

Alright then. Outpace me with your AI.

“AI won’t replace you but a developer using it will”

Can’t wait to see that. For now, I just loose time on reviews of vibecoded crap.

Really, it was fun at the beginning, we all had hopes with those tools, but right now, it’s annoying and they didn’t deliver. So I’ll keep using it when I need it and ONLY when I need it.

An app/website that I co-created had a devastating launch and was rolled back before me and another coworker went on vacation.
To my surprise it was force-relaunched by upper management and bug-fixed on the go by another coworker, who was also involved. Props to him for dealing with the errors, as I wasn't contacted once.

Real HR policy ...

HR Manager in Heaven!!!

One day while walking down the street a highly successful HR Manager was hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was greeted by God himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said God. "

"Well, What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.

"Sorry, we have rules."

And with that God put the HR Manager in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the hell wt beautiful golf course. And a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. they talked about old times.
She met the Devil who was really a nice guy and She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave.

Everybody waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found God waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and God came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and in heaven. Now u must choose ur eternity,"

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So God escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and said:
...
...
...
....
....

"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee".😁😁😁
☝dedicated to all companies

An HR manager was knocked down (tragically) by a bus and was killed. Her soul arrived at the Pearly Gates, where St.Peter welcomed her. “Before you get settled in” he said, “We have a little problem…you see, we’ve never had a HR manager make it this far before and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”

“Oh, I see,” said the woman, “can’t you just let me in?”

“Well, I’d like to,” said St Peter, “But I have higher orders. We’re instructed to let you have a day in hell and a day in heaven, and then you are to choose where you’d like to go for all eternity.”

“Actually, I think I’d prefer heaven”, said the woman. “Sorry, we have rules…” at which St. Peter put the HR manager into the downward bound elevator.

As the doors opened in Hell she stepped out onto a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club; around her were many friends, past fellow executives, all smartly dressed, happy, and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks, and they talked about old times.

They played a perfect round of golf and afterwards went to the country club where she enjoyed a superb steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil (who was actually rather nice) and she had a wonderful night telling jokes and dancing.

Before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everyone shook her hand and waved goodbye as she stepped into the elevator. The elevator went back up to heaven where St. Peter was waiting for her. “Now it’s time to spend a day in heaven,” he said.

So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds, playing the harp and singing; which was almost as enjoyable as her day in Hell. At the day’s end St. Peter returned. “So,” he said, “You’ve spent a day in hell and you’ve spent a day in heaven”. “You must choose between the two.”

The woman thought for a second and replied: “Well, heaven is certainly lovely, but I actually had a better time in hell. I choose Hell.”

Accordingly, St. Peter took her to the elevator again and she went back down to hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends dressed in rags, picking up rubbish and putting it in old sacks. The Devil approached and put his arm around her.

“I don’t understand,” stuttered the HR manager, “The other day I was here, and there was a golf course, and a country club. We ate lobster, and we danced and had a wonderful happy time. Now all there is, is just dirty wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable.”

The Devil simply looked at her and smiled, “Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you’re staff.”

Well, it's really nice to hear from a client how great it is to work with me, and that they want to work with me on another project next year.

chuffed as fuck.

I find it very dangerous to work with folks that prefer speed over quality. I would prefer that folks do not request me to code review if they are going to ignore my comments and push to production without answering all my questions.

How normal is it for someone working in test automation for 4+ years to ask how to install an intellij plugin via screenshare and accuse me for being impatient and rude for suggesting them to google?

Has anyone noticed ChatGPT glazing getting really bad lately? Every single one of my stupid, bone-headed fucking questions are "insightful" and "important".

FUCK you, you psychopath. Stop manipulating me.

this isn't really a DEVrant because i don't vibe code (or even use AI tools that much), it's more of a "please don't make your app like this"

chatgpt is so fricking pathetic. the company behind it is so fricking paralyzed with fear of liability that they have made the chatbot unable to respond to any question with the slightest undertone of potential unsafety. i asked it a homework problem involving the acceleration of a 20x102mm AA cartridge. i asked it whether a wooden or Steel handle would be better for a splitting axe. i asked it if my homemade lye was safe to dump down a clogged drain. on all three occasions it said that it couldn't "help with anything that would meaningfully facilitate harm", and proceeded to just suggest consumerism or some other nonsense as a "safe alternative". like what the actual heck? life on Earth inherently has risk, that's part of human existence. nobody would enjoy being put in a bubble-wrapped room designed for maximum safety (i know from experience), a bit of risk is what keeps us happy and motivated. i'm not even mad at whatever megacorp made chatgpt, i'm just disappointed. it's like watching a freshly-lobotomized fish flop around on the ground. if anyone makes an AI or something else. please don't do this. just slap on a limitation of liability and indemnity clause into your TOS, please don't lobotomize your chatbot in the name of "safety".

Freaking, some devs should learn how to make websites well. lol. I was hovering over a text, then I let it lose focus and focused my cursor floating halfway between left and right element and it caused an intense strobe effect.

I just can't. lol

Tired of vertical scroll websites.

Manager scheduled an 8:30am meeting .. then send us a message saying he was delayed dropping off his kids at school and would be 15 minutes, then showed up at 9am. 😡

Remember my Nigerian client rant? Now get this.

Just one day of working here, and I find out that these guys have CI/CD setup so pushes to main branch are deployed to prod automatically,

And these guys are pushing to master from their local env 10 TIMES A DAY.

There are 3 devs working here (excluding me) and all 3 are doing this.

Oh oh oh, and local env isn't really "local" because all 3 devs are pointing to prod database, FROM THEIR LOCAL SYSTEM !!!!

Things are so bad that they have to keep resetting their production db after every deployment.

FML.

Do you enjoy pain? Love being mistreated while paying $100 a year for it? Welcome to Apple Developer Enrollment!
You'd think for a company that claims to provide "seamless" experiences, their enrollment process would be super straightforward, but no, get ready to waste incredible time with generic error messages.
"Enrollment through the developer app is not possible for this account".
Great! Just great. My peasant app wasn't worthy of being on the almight App Store anyway. Forgive me for trying, my lord.

WTF.

First, they make you prove your existence with endless verifications. Need a D-U-N-S number? Good luck because it's a nightmare. Support? Barely helpful. And if anything goes wrong? Expect weeks of waiting with zero urgency from Apple.

And that $100? You pay it every single year, just to keep your apps measly alive. Meanwhile, Google charges a one-time $25. Fair? Not in Apple land.

And if they randomly decide your app has an issue? Boom, it'll be gone. No warning, no clear answers, just frustration.

So yeah, if you're a masochist who adores pain, jumping through hoops and paying for the privilege, Apple’s got you covered!

Just saw this in an email about 1password:

Automated system restarts. You can automatically enforce restarts on employees’ devices to ensure updates install successfully.
We are adding support for the MSI command-line option /norestart for situations where automated system restarts are not desired.
If system restarts are enforced, we recommend scheduling deployments during off-hours to minimize disruptions.

If my PC restarts without me asking I'm going to smack a bitch (windows does it enough already)

I cannot express how much I don't want businesses who have my phone number to randomly pick an instant messaging account registered with that phone number for their correspondence. I can pick an SMS app, I own my messages as data and so I am fundamentally free to backup, sync, and view them as and when I want. The same is not true for Viber which I only registered because my mom's tenants literally don't use anything else.

LinkedIn is mostly cringe but not always...

We're fucked.

I was having a debate on Reddit. A topic I brought up here already. Genetics and the mommies in my local baby group.

I was downvoted to hell for my conclusion those mommies cheated. Don't get me wrong, my conclusion was, they most likely cheated. I use high school genetics as heuristics, saying that its outcomes aligns with the question often enough to be a good decision maker.

A strategy manifested. Some people wrote long scientific correct arguments, just to block me the moment they sent it. For me it looks just like they deleted themselves and their account. I can still read it when logged out.

I just created a new account to reply to them. Went without a hitch, except that when I checked back in incognito, my replies weren't there. I assume they don't allow accounts that are too new. Reading from incognito, it was like they had the last word and I couldn't answer. The problem, they actually admitted to my points and built a straw men to the other points and I cannot point that out anymore.

I also thought, I should find a few people to hang out online with. So I started to play an MMO. After all, I am a daddy now, not so much time to find people. Only have nights. Besides the discords always being empty, all guilds I joined had the same thing in their rule set: "Do not discuss religion or politics."

Let me explain you something about democracy. It lives on debates. If you think you do not want to speak about your political opinions, then you're anti-democratic. Why are we allowed to vote? So, that everyone with a political opinion will find a decider. If we do not discuss, we are just at the mercy of advertisement. Most of us do not look deeply into topics, but some do. We trust them, because we know them. We have those smart people around it. Democracy is based upon "My neighbor has said and I trust him." That's how it works.

Forbidding political discourse, hiding downvoted opinions and using tricks, so the other party cannot reply in time or only with troubles is the death of democracy. That's how it ended. Because we're too butt hurt to even talk to each other, have the conversations. And I am sick of it.

And no, you cannot say, this is just a friendly group about knitting. The price of democracy is that all groups are political forums. And jobs. Everything. We do expect you to be adult enough to work with someone who has a different opinion from you. Who might even dislike you. Otherwise, the outcome is that all spaces where you would meet people that have different opinions are non-political and all political spaces are echo chambers in which you meet those people who are at best the staunchest warriors of a side instead of the normal person.

I bet two people of two different ideologies, who aren't deeply ingrained in it, have more in common than a person deeply ingrained and one that is not from the same ideology. But you wouldn't know that in today's echo chambers.

You know shits fucked when the sysadmin whips out the serial adapter!

Ads are intentionally produced litter.

Looks like I can finally post images

So true

The internet says "containers are the holy grail, it's cross-platform and you can run your images and get the same result everywhere"

The practice says: nope... it doesn't do that

Before I left for vacation two weeks ago, I busted my butt to build out another portion of my frontend testing framework and get it in place (and spec’d) to unblock a coworker on a semi-high-priority ticket. I sent him detailed notes on which areas of the product it covers, how to use it, and copied one of his (blocked) tests over and updated it to use the new methods, pattern, namespacing, etc.

I came back today and discovered … he hasn’t even touched it. Everything is exactly as I left it.

Wheeeeeee.

I can imagine the client throwing a dart at a calendar and saying "This will be the deadline!"

Yet another confused recruiter:

The world makes no fucking sense.

In 2013 I had a manager approve a couple days' leave coz my son was having medical issues.

He was super nice about it and told me I could take as much time as I needed. I said, a couple days is enough. I took Thursday and Friday off. I took two days.

On Monday, an emergency meeting was held with the CTO (it was a small company, it went me -> manager -> C suite). I was told that a production deployment happened on Friday that fucked up a few clients' systems and that it had cost said clients hundreds of thousands dollars and are now suing the company.

Turns out on Friday, lead developer was also given the day off for whatever reason and I was being scolded because as the next senior developer, it was my responsibility to review code and make sure shit like this doesn't happen.

I agreed (and still agree) but also explained I had already filed leave weeks prior and I wasn't informed about dev lead's absence. Sure I could've checked my messages but my kid was in the hospital and I was busy. Still I couldn't help but feel a little guilty.

Manager holds a separate meeting with me and talks me into just writing an apology note in the email chain and he'll do the rest of the talking for me and make sure I get minimal punishment. I trusted him, he was the one who found me and brought me into the company (I know, I was naive).

So I wrote the email. It was a small note. I apologized for not checking messages and explained my situation again and mentioned I would've definitely checked if I was informed that the lead dev would be away.

Another meeting was held the next day and after pleasantries the Manager started with this, "Ok so we've all seen the email and understand that this was all Angry's fault right?".

Now, we're not native English speakers and Manager doesn't really do well with grammar. I was alarmed by what he said but wasn't angry because I was pretty sure that's not what he meant. I'm sure he meant to say that "Angry feel's guilty but his actions were understandable given the circumstance" or that he forgot a "not" in there and really meant "not Angry's fault". Surely this is what he meant to say. Right?

But then the rest of the meeting went on and I was unceremoniously let go. Immediately for "failing to accomplish my tasks and costing the client 100Ks of dollars". I wasn't even given a chance to say anything else.

The meeting ended and since we were both in the office, Manager approached me with exit papers and a check (~1200 USD)--it was my month's pay. I was asked to leave that day and was told I didn't need to come back. No handovers, no knowledge transfers, not a even a documentation of open projects I was handling.

I realized I just was made the scapegoat by a management screwup that costed our clients a lot of money.

Of course, I wrote the CEO multiple emails the next couple days. I also cc'd the CTO. No response.

A couple of weeks pass, I get another job at a cool company and i promptly move on.

I write this story now because I just found out today that in 2016, Manager was let go by the company for **sexual harassment**. Apparently, he actually did it too according to friends I still had within the company.

Here's where it gets fucked up. He turns and sues the company for unlawful termination and I guess to avoid a long legal battle? the company settled. They fucking settled and handed this man 2 Million PHP (at the time about 40k USD).

2 fucking million. Life changing money around here. And he got it by being a slimy piece of shit.

The world makes no fucking sense.