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Production is down, a coworker got himself locked in his own apartment so he can’t leave and another is late, the phone won’t stop ringing
And I don’t have the credentials to access the production server
Just a monday morning, everything’s fine 🔥😊🔥7 -
Turn on WiFi on my smartphone in the morning.
Evening: realize that the WiFi had not connected automatically and I used all my mobile internet.
7 -
Updated my PC this morning, now it thinks I have 7 monitors (I have 3 and only 1 is working now). This is going to be a fun morning...
9 -
Morning Deployment.
Me: Let's add this application to this server.
Deployer: Alright.
...
D: Done. Please verify.
Me: I'm seeing errors. Send me the logs.
D: Sure. I also updated the framework to a version that wasn't tested.
M: Yeah, that won't work. Roll it back.
D: Fine.
...
D: Done. Please verify.
M: All the applications on the box are broken. Please revert to the snapshot before the Deployment.
D: Oops, I didn't make one.
🙁😟😢😭😤1 -
I'm used to go to work by bike every morning, but I'll make an exception this morning in particular 🤔
18 -
When you have motivation for coding early in the morning but Windows would like to update your PC just after you have turned it on
6 -
Good morning, mornin wood.
Good morning, chirping birds outside the window.
Good morning, handsome guy in the mirror.
Good morning, beautiful machine of mine.
Now where were we last night.
Hmpph
😒😒😒 morning segfault3 -
Normal people's morning :
Checking Facebook /Instagram
Developer's mornings :
Checking bit bucket12 -
My morning is starting off with a 40,000 line code review of a php project....yeah how's your morning going??!??!!??8
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this.onSleep = function() {
for(let i = 0; i < hair.length; i++) {
hair[i].orientation = Math.random();
}
Object.freeze(hair);
}
😐
Whoever thought it was a good idea to put this there, fuck you.15 -
My morning routine:
6.45 - alarms goes of
for (let i = 0; i < 11; i++) snooze()
7.40 - reluctantly drags myself up from my bed and puts on coffee
7.45 - make breakfast
7.47 - was breakfast
7.48 - open devRant
8.08 - realize how long I've been eating breakfast and write a short post about it
8.19 - hopefully I'll get out in time for the bus leaving by then.
8.42 - arrive 42 minutes late to work8 -
Didn't finish morning run in time for morning scrum call. Looks like I'm answering the call from here.
8 -
Me: Right, its Monday, time for a fresh start. Things have been unbearable, but i've nowhere else to go just yet. I gotta just dig deep, ignore everything bad and just get it done, It's all about positivity right? Lets just ignore the little things and keep moving.
*My morning so far, 2 hours in*
Remote dev: (timezone 5 hours earlier than me) Hey so whats the plan for this quarter?
Me: ... I posted a big detailed plan in the group chat on Friday night so you wouldn't be delayed ... but anyway, lets just move on. I need you to work on A, B and C. A is just copying what Android has already done, for B one of the backend guys working next to you is doing this, he'll be able to help you. C is all documented in the ticket.
Remote dev: cool thanks.
Local dev: So I was just chatting with remote dev ... yeah he told me he has no idea what he's suppose to do.
Me: ..... Ok i'll book a video call with him in the morning. Can't do it right now.
==========
Remote dev: Hey i'm helping the BE team do some testing. I found a bug in Android. Homepage says theres no trips. But Offers screen says there is.
Me: Ok so just to confirm, The "available" offers screen has offers to accept, but the white notification on the homepage saying "You have X offers to accept" is not showing up?
Remote dev: Correct!
*debugging for 5 mins*
Remote dev: actually no, the "accepted" offers tab has offers, but the homepage says there are no upcoming offers to work on.
Me: ..... ok, thats very different ... but sure, let me have a look.
Me: Right so the BE are ... again ... sending down expired offers. Looks like the accepted tab isn't catching it and the homepage is.
Remote dev: Right i'll open a ticket for Android.
Me: ... and BE team.
Remote dev: why?
Me: ... because they once again have timezone issues. This keeps causing issues in random places. BE need to fix this everywhere.
Remote dev: right, i'll chat to them and see if they can fix it.
==========
Product: So this ticket xxxxx is clear right?
Me: eh, kind of, so you want us to add feature X to user type A?
Product: correct.
Me: right but I don't see anywhere talking about the time it will take to build the screen for feature X
Product: What do you mean the screen?
Me: ... well, feature X is only accessible on screen Y ... we would have to change screen Y to support user type A ... you know ... so they can ... use the feature
Product: .... hhhhmmm .... i suppose you are right. Well we can't just add screen Y, we'll have to add W and Z, it won't make sense without them.
Me: ... ok sure, but our estimates put us over for this quarter. I don't think we can just add in 3 screens.
Product: No this is a must have.
Me: Ok so we'll have to drop something else.
Product: hhhmmm, don't think we can ... let me get back to you.
==========
Backend team invited me to a meeting at 6am my time on Friday.
==========
... 2 hours into Monday ... there must be vodka around here somewhere -
Apparently Eclipse is an indispensable tool for putting Zen in your coding!
Source: https://turnoff.us/geek/...
3 -
Alarm Levels on my phone:
Level 1: 06:00 it's the right time to wake up, take a shower and breakfast.
Level 2: 07:00 ok it is the normal time to wake up..
Level 3: 07:30 you must wake up to go to work in time.
Level 4: 07:45 you're already late you lazy ass
Level 5: 08:00 you're already late.
Level 6: 09:00 just checking you're alive11 -
Look at the image first, please.
Me: "What's that?"
Closed devRantron.
"Hmm, still there."
Closed browser.
"Nope, that wasn't it neither."
Closed everything that is somehow connected to the internet: FTP client, SSH connections, even the VM.
"There's still something! What is it?!"
Bashed my head against the wall.
"I am listening to music right now... music from the NAS..."
2 -
MOTHERFUCKER!!
Woke up this morning with a plan to backup and export all my shit. Sort my files and get ready for a fresh start.
This morning my laptop died irreparably! Winning at life. 👌🏼1 -
Suddenly there's this tight deadline, everyone's pumping hours in, I am the one that has to discuss with everyone and integrate their work into mine. So I schedule an early morning meeting with a colleague, whose work is crucial in order to continue integrating the others' modules.
30mins into the meeting, he's not there yet. I reach him
"Oh, sorry, I forgot to mention, I'm actually not available today, and until 3 days before the deadline"
Well isn't this great.5 -
On way to work.
Almost stepped over a dead cat! 😷
I hate this fucking country.
*Walking past a stray dog staring at me atm*7 -
Dear developer/designer/whatever you are, who made the splash screen of the iiyama ProLite E2278HD... I hate you and curse you every morning when I turn that damn screen on. Seriously? Pure white? You evil fuck. My eyes burn every morning thanks to you (because I obviously forget when I push that little button).
Even the screen is sarcastic about it "vision & technology"... 😵
5 -
So this morning I read this article where the author said "Javascript is a beautiful language [...] because it creates good, responsible, and intelligent developers." Why? Because by worrying by "getting your head ripped off" you learn to adapt and overcome.
Though I almost laughed and woke everybody else up, I must admit that it isn't that crazy of a statement. Right?
https://hackernoon.com/a-crash-cour...4 -
On any given morning, when I"m not quite sure what to tackle first.... there's always:
sudo apt update
Ahh, now I feel like I did something.
"dude! are you hacking!?"
shutup, haven't had coffee yet. -
I fucking hate morning people like the one in the story below!
Before we begin story time I want to acknowledge some things.
This is largely a case of a person having a lack of awareness and giving in to their base instincts (which are wrong).
People all tend to think that everyone else is like them (most children below a certain age cannot make this distinction and many adults never learn it either).
To take it a step further, anyone who isn't just like them is Lazy/Bad/An Asshole/etc.
FUCK THOSE PEOPLE
Now it's story time...
---------
I worked for a startup. We used a modified SCRUM, and we had standups every day @ 10 AM, the other team had then at 11:30 AM.
We get a new product owner. He is a morning person. But basically, he is a day-trader so he wakes up at 5 AM to trade and is in the office by 8 AM every day.
The problem is, he uses this as a reason to leave every day at 3 PM when EVERY other member of the team is there until at least 5 PM.
So he says one day (when I am not there) that we are moving our standups to 8:30 AM...
"Because he wants to make more use of the time and wants to get more done!"
So the next day a bunch of us miss this standup, the second day I was there in time but instead of going to the standup I sent them a picture of myself sitting in a coffee shop across the street with a message saying...
"I will be holding a meeting today at 10 AM, I expect EVERYONE to be there. If anyone on our team is absent then we will sit there and that absent person will be responsible for the time we waste waiting for them."
10 AM rolls around and the Product Owner is nowhere to be seen. The team starts complaining about the early standup and I tell them that this meeting is for me to take care of it. I tell them to sit silently and let me handle it.
We all message the PO saying the same thing...
"Come to the meeting, You are wasting our time!!!"
So he shows up at 10:20 AM and it begins.
(Now I'm going to do this as a conversation)
PO: "So I assume this is about the standup?..."
ME: "Feel free to ramble on as long as you want, you have already wasted 20 minutes of our time so we will sit here quietly and wait for you to decide you are ready to stop wasting our time with your ramblings. That's fine."
<PO then shuts up in disbelief>
ME: "So are you finished?"
PO: ...
ME: "I'm expecting an answer PO!"
PO: Yes, for now.
ME: I am moving our standups to 5 PM, end of discussion.
PO: Becuase your too lazy to be here by 8 AM?
<I expected this>
ME: No because I'm an asshole who expect everyone to conform to my schedule.
PO: ..., Well, I am not here at 5 PM.
ME: Sounds like your too "lazy" be here at 5 PM, eh?
PO: I have other things I do then.
ME: Ah, now the truth comes out. You care more about your life than our business. That's unacceptable! I personally don't care what you want to do. The fact is that we are working here and every day we end up having PO questions that need to and can't be answered because you are not here.
PO: <To the team> The standup is still at 8:30 AM.
ME: <To the team> The standup is at 5 PM. End of story. And from now on whenever we have questions before 5 for PO and he is not here we will be recording it and putting it in his report.
Then I walk away.
That day we held a standup at 5 PM. He wasn't there. He held a standup at 8:30 AM and he didn't even show up. He stayed home a video in. He then arrived in the office and said...
PO: Since no one was in the standup today we will be moving it back to 10 AM.
ME: Since PO has seen the selfishness of his ways, We will be moving the standup from 5 PM back to 10 AM.
FUCK THOSE PEOPLE6 -
Waking up and finding your Notifs panel full is like Christmas. Slowly opening every mention and ++ you get. Then, just for fun, you read every comment on rants you've commented in. Oh and comments in your own rants are the best.
What a nice start for the day.5 -
This morning... Five hours of theoretical lesson of informatics, systems and networks!! :)
Let's Go! 💪2 -
Morning from London, nerdmigos.
Happy Coding, Ops, Testing or whatever COOL shit your doing today.2 -
Weirdest morning in a while:
- good morning!
_ good morning
* walk over to colleagues desk to see what he’s working on pure out of interest*
_what do you want?
-nothing just curious
_do you want to fight?
-wtf?
The more i work with fellow developers the more i realize the special kind of people we actually are.8 -
This morning I woke up because some light from the hallway was comming from under my door. I went on investigation. Was a bit scared. But it was just Kiki sitting there solving a rubiks cube while speaking UTF-8 to herself. I went back to bed6
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Its 6:57 AM here and I am still awake !! Anyone here today with me ? :D
Good Morning everyone BTW !8 -
My director sends an email every morning asking team members to close their tasks at EOD.
Every. Fucking. Morning.
Like dude, we got it the thousand times you said earlier! Just stop doing that now!9 -
How to be more productive at morning? Just get alert from PagerDuty that one of core app running out of space and there is nothing you can delete. Call me Speedy Gonzalez
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The air conditioning unit for our data room failed at 4AM this morning. Everyone got to work this morning with and all of the servers and network equipment was shut down. the room was over 90 degrees Fahrenheit.6
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Every f*k**g morning.. "Good morning _____, goood morning!" I'm so tired of these work from home Zoom calls with my boss. OMG. Everybody gotta suck her dick like we like her. Aaaaaaah. #tears2
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Don't you love it when you're in a full-on creative mood but the whole universe is somehow working against you doing anything productive?
Woke up in the morning with bright ideas for my app. But my PC restarted and my IDE crashed. After getting the IDE up, the project no longer builds. After spending hours to try and fix it, reinstall IDE and ............... voila............... everything works. I mean WTF?1 -
Hmm Monday morning and no Internet..
How do I stack overflow my "programming"?
Just kidding, Mobile Hotspot ftw.2 -
Dear devs: Is 8:06am here and I didn't sleep cause I was updating some firmwares.
I think I'm blind.
Good night! I mean, good morning! -
Being productive requires that I have an extra large coffee in the morning.
Having an extra large coffee in the morning requires that I get up to take a wizz every 30 minutes until lunch.
Catch 22.3 -
You wake up early on Saturday to pee and you have a bunch of alerts in your inbox about failing dependencies in production. But you haven’t gotten any call or text from your boss. What do you do?
Well, I started browsing devRant while waiting for the next scheduled alert hoping my brethren on the other end of the systems resolve it and I wouldn’t have to login.1 -
Couple of the senior devs were reviewing some legacy service code, vilifying everything that was done. Too many files, not enough files, too many lines of code, etc. Standard Monday-Morning-Quarterback nonsense. Then they came across Thread.Sleep() in various exception handlers. The passive-aggressive -bleep- hit the fan. 'Idiot', 'Moron', "People don't know how to code..", etc. dog-pile rants for a good 5 minutes.
I thought "Code is only a couple of years old and had very little changes..I'll bet the original developer is still here."
So I look at the change history and sure enough the original developer was one of the dog-pilers, and the other dev changed the code just last year. Comments like "Major refactoring", "Increased Performance", etc and the changes were only removing comment blocks, and other stylecop suggestions. Oh...there was one change was Thread.Sleep(6000) to Thread.Sleep(1000). I guess that did technically "increase performance"
Would I get fired if I said "Shut the -bleep- up you -bleep-ing -bleep- heads" ? Hmm...probably. Better keep my opinions on devrant. -
I have to wake up in the morning ....for a meeting.........
When was the last time I woke up in the morning? Oh that was before having the baby. -
Me: aah finally the best in the morning MY COFFEE
Also me a half hour later: Uhm fuck my coffee is cold.1 -
Am I the only one whose daily morning routine is not only reading through devRant feed, but also catching up on the devRant issue tracker? Love me some discussions there :D1
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Saturday morning for the world but I am doing this !!
Cheers to developer life 😅😅😅
Who else is coding this morning??
10 -
So I just did my morning shopping and only one register was open. There was an older gentleman in the front, who took some more time getting cigarettes and paying his total. Well Mr. Important in his nice suit decided that took too long: "Lady! Please open another register! People don't have time, I have to go to work!"
The cashier called in for another register to be opened and once that guy made his way to the other line, she said "My mother always told me, if you don't have time for shopping, don't." 😂
ALSO GUESS WTF THAT GUY WAS BUYING, JUST A SOME CHEAP FUCKING CIGARILLOS HE COULD'VE GOTTEN EVERYWHERE ELSE THAT'S NOT A SUPERMARKET -
Monday morning,
I grab a cup of coffee, and move to my desk happily,
With a smile on my face and with the excitement to have a productive day,
I open my laptop to check my mails.
"3 Escalation mails + 1 mail that proves i'm stupid, with the entire team in CC."
:'(2 -
Mornings when I'm having a dream with a good plot, which reach the peak, then culmination and I wake up right after [and on time] feel sooo right!3
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Hey, listen. If the first thing you have to say to me in the morning is nothing but a whining story of what "terrible" stuff happend again.
SHUT THE FUCK UP 'CAUSE I CARE AS MUCH AS I CAN SEE TWO STUPID ASS-TO-MOUTH FUCKING ALIENS BEYOND THE BORDERS OF THE FUCKING VISIBLE UNIVERSE!2 -
university server will be down tomorrow morning around 8am to 12pm. i wanted to finish my code tomorrow morning :(
more sleep for me though ! -
It feels like I cannot take it anymore, waking up to goto work at 9 feels unbearable for a hacker. My mind doesn't work and it's routine as fuck. How do you guys do it?4
-
Monday morning meetings:
- Reminding designers what the app looks like to then discuss a defect.
- Reminding everyone else where the online meeting link is, despite the fact we have used it everyday, for the past 7 weeks. -
>Difficulty: Tell Me a Story
>Aim Assist: On
>Weapon Sway: Off
>Invisibility While Pron: On
>Slow Motion While Aiming: On
>Autosave Before Every Encounter: On
>Enemy Perception: Low
>Enemy Accuracy: Low
>Boss Fight Skip Option: On
>Discord open for emotional support
Time to game.18 -
Good morning devs let’s rock this weekend 🥳
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Or
.
.
.
.
.
You’re going to do something productive? 😎
12 -
class Me(Person):
def day(self, mood):
self.morning()
self.job.start()
while True:
if self.job.time > 28800:
break
self.job.work()
self.job.end()
self.afternoon()
self.evening()
def morning(self):
self.say("Hello World!")
if mood == bad:
self.be_grumpy()
self.__super__.morning()5 -
OK I didn't make any New Year's resolutions, but now that I have to go to work again I wanna make one after all - my morning routine sucks. Do you guys have any strats?8
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Login monday morning to prepare for dev time. Entire morning has been scheduled with back to back meetings. Fuuuuuuu1
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Does anyone else run to their desk to just put their headphones/AirPods on?
…I’m not a morning person. -
New version release Saturday morning. We have 3 hours window I plan to do it in 15 minutes and don’t loose weekend.
Wish me luck.6 -
*Finishes assignments*
*Opens game on phone*
*Wakes up next morning*
*5 notifications from game*
This was the first time in a while that an apps notification count exceeded the number of spam emails in my regular morning Gmail notification. Thanks Supercell! -
it's monday morning. ofc the first thing i do is open devrant to see what hell monday is brining on others.
-
Good morning Developers
*Voice appears from no where* :
You have to code and complete all the bugs, issues and the frameworks,
By the end of the day.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it?1 -
I hate going to bed with a headache only to wake up to a hundred emails about a feature they want in for that morning that the customer "needs" but has only brought up once before as a passing comment. Yeah, it was in the works but I don't have it done... I still have another 5 things to do before it gets done. I have an hour before you need it... There is no possible way to do this right now...
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!Rant
What a wonderful morning. Muffin gets real angry if I don't go for a early walk with him. And tbh I like it too, when I get back I can grab my cup coffee and start coding.
What's your boot routine?
5 -
There's nothing like that feeling on your face...
When you get a new project...and you've been writing project requirements & scope docs for 20 hours...
As you somber towards bed...what is that tickle on my cheek? Oh. Just eye blood.
That's a morning-me problem.3 -
Fiance left the mobile charger plugged inside the car, battery discharged, it's pouring out, the water is up to the rims... my shoes are drenched and i'm late for work2
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Monday morning.
That uneasy feeling on your stomach when you feel upset about Monday morning.
Is there a word to explain this?5 -
Halfway mark reached. Just got on the train for the second early morning of three weekends. Soon I may rest. For a week. Then we go again 🙃
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Nothing like starting your Monday morning with a call from your senior developer saying that the merge went horribly.
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I just spent 4 1/2h looking at ILASM, .NET Assemblies and the list of CLI instructions to get some "inspiration" for my own VM
I'd say that's a Sunday morning well spend^^ -
It is not a good morning if the project leader comes saying "good morning". The PL greeting is the omen of a problem (which, as always, need to be solved ASAP)
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Monday morning brain funk while looking at a support case right now.
Apparently there is a listbox (zkoss) that lets you select users via check box to send emails/alerts whatever.
If you select 3 users it counts the number correctly, but it doesn't iterate through and find the 3 actually selected 😂
Instead it just reads the number selected and iterates through that many times from 0 🤔
Happy Monday 😂😂😂1 -
Waking up in the morning.
It's been since 1998 that I wake up in the morning for school and then work and I am not used to it. -
!dev
It's 1 in the morning.
I am sleepy and really should be sleeping, but I open my laptop and load a scary stories website.
Then suddenly it's 3 in the morning.
What the hell.2 -
It's past midnight here and I'm studying for my first Calc 1 proctored test (derivative rules). I'm taking the class online and this is the 2nd test overall. The test is in 8 hours...2
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https://youtu.be/zQJqu675Ino
Best morning song translation:
https://lyricstranslate.com/en/...
Give me the flute and sing
for singing is the secret of existence
And the sound of the flute remains
After the end of existence.
Have you, as i did, taken the jungle
A house without limitations
Have you followed the Runnels
And climbed the rocks
have you bathed in its fragrance
and dried yourself in its light
Have you tried drinking the Dawn as your wine
out of divine cups
Have you, as i did, sat in the afternoon
Between the grapes plants
with the clusters hanging
like golden chandlers...
Have you, as i did, slept on the grass at night
And used the sky as you blanket
Ascetic in what will come
Forgetting what has passed
Give me the flute and sing
Forget the disease and medication
For people are only lines
written with water -
That feeling when you hear: "Goood monday morning, I am MPJ and you are watching Fun Fun Function!" Definitely, I love monday mornings 😄2
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--- Before Monday morning
Relaxation level: 999
--- Monday morning
The joy to come back from small holidays... and being welcomed with "this is broken, this doesn't work, this stopped working" and writing emails the whole morning to providers "please fix dis, and dat, and dis, is broken since months"
Provider: "o sry, we didn't notice :< pliz wait next week until fixed, thnk u"
Relaxation level: NaN -
yup! your usual monday morning full of stress, where you drive to work early and know your timeline is messed up1
-
Don't you think you could code an AI assistant if you have a powerful server & intelligent people to teach it with conditioning data? I do..am I crazy?2
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What would be the one thing you can get it right or do it another way if you can go back to this morning. If its just morning there, last night?2
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