Do all the things like ++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatarSign Up
When the 14th largest school district in the country sends a text message to all parents with link about their new COVID-19 policies, you'd think they'd scale up their web server count before pressing send. I guess I'll just read it tonight.10
I attended a 2-days scientific conference last week which lasted from 9 AM-7 PM.
I submit my travel expenses today and the university adm got guts to tell me that
I should commute 6 hours everyday to that place instead of staying in a hotel.
Please people, I contribute making our research and name renown to the public. I don't even get paid doing that (did it for the sake of experience).
The least you can do is to support the accomodation. The penny pinching you did in the name of cost saving is embarrasing.
I didn't like every hour spent working in the uni, yet people still ask me why I won't continue to PhD.
No offence to all PhDs out there. It's just that my practical and money-oriented ass couldn't
stand all the free work I have to do if I do that.
I'd rather work in a supermarket, at least I'm getting paid of what I'm worth.
When your QA tests a story you implemented and all of a sudden yells “I found a bug!” out of happiness, you know you’re doing great job.2
That moment when you expect a class to be in a particular directory so you navigate there and it really is!
Working with people who know how to program is pure bliss!6
A few months back, me and my friends built our own Web Dev firm. I'm the one who talk to clients, customers, etc. and these have been the most ridiculous messages I received from them:
1. I don't like it, but I don't know why?
2. I have an idea! Can we change the design?
3. We want something with more of a `wow` factor.
4. Can't you just copy their logo?
5. But we are also a startup. You must understand that we can't pay the full price.
6. So do you have the file open and ready to edit/
7. Can't you just copy and paste it in?
8. We don't have much of a budget but there are plenty of projects coming your way.
These are just a few of the huckleberryfuck our clients sent. I'm not sure if I can handle them anymore.5
LOL XCode....I think they meant "X"tra useless, resembling such as a bag of dicks without handles!!!!
Also, being fucking buried because there's aren't any devs anywhere to be found near me makes me extra cranky!
Ive been hammering away at this Flutter, Java, Swift, Python, and Google maps for just about 36 hours on 3.5 hrs sleep. I just can't stop, I fuckin love this shit!!!
Considering the fact that I'm self taught and just started writing code for real about 7 months ago, I'd say I'm handling this alright for now. Every bit of tech is getting shot out of a cannon at this one- maps, real time tracking, state level auth/Id verification, custom components like ID scans/native desktop applications on custom linux machines, body cams, SIP trunking... all in 3 apps which are 100% multi-platform and scaled up to high end enterprise levels and being groomed for national release. I'm writing the code and doing the tech for ALL of it- even down to custom painted barcode scanners, a wallet system built from scratch, GPS integration, location/geofence based document querying... holy fuck guys I'm gonna fuckin die haha!!!
I went from barely getting websites made in late summer to this very moment, where I am pumping shit out in Flutter, Dart, Python, CPP, Js, Swift, Java, Kotlin, Obj-C, SQL/noSQL, and who knows what else.
I don't even know what the hell I just said haha I hope everyone has a great day!
I'm seeing people defending clearly-injectable code and I'm just stunned.
And this person in particular is supposed to be responsible (at least partially) for finding security flaws.
I don't know what to say.10
My classmate is a real SAVAGE!!
He (team leader) and his team participated in hackathons several times and kept losing.
He noticed something common about winning team, majority of those team members were women, even if they were non technical and their project was pure bs, they were winning in the name of women empowerment.
This time he came out with a plan, he fired his boys and invited women into his team, and even made one girl the team leader.
Result? HE WON!!!
NOT ONE BUT THREE HACKATHONS BACK TO BACK
His so called women team was invited by Google to pitch their startup idea.
Now, if they gets funding, he's gonna kick out these women and bring back his teammates32
So this post is going to target an irritating aspect of a specific culture based on observational evidence over the last 20 years, and has reared its hideous face yet again. If you're triggered by that, stop reading here.
I'm flatly fed up with two-faced onshore Desi coworkers. They make up 95% of my colleagues and the following sequence of events has played out repeatedly over the course of my career, consistently, though it's slightly more pronounced in other women for whatever reason :
1. Work with them for years, good relationship, teach them all sorts of skills (which I will do freely for anyone, for any reasons as I view it to be a moral imperative), general lifting up and solid teamwork.
2. They move up in the hierarchy, generally to management, usually project
3. The second they view themselves as higher in the pecking order they start treating me like shit as if we have no history. Rude, commanding, unwilling to share details, obligatory exasperated thank yous if any at all, not interested in anything I have to say even if I'm the noted expert on the subject.
I understand a lot of their etiquette culture, specifically the level of "directness" or politeness they employ is based on the estimated risk of loss in the interaction. I find that disgusting, but I understand that academically. I just can't get my mind around how universal this shiftiness is, as it happens over and over again. It's like human decency and respect go out the window the second they don't feel like they have anything to gain from you. In *my* culture that is the lowest form of behavior a human can exhibit, and it causes me to rage because I can't imagine being so utterly devoid of altruism.
Fuck. It's just so sickening. It's fucking debased, and selfish and greedy and fuck. I can't even, this is one of those things that so irrational my mind can't accept it and I just go around and around on it.
Tl;dr you want to get throat punched? Because that's how you get throat punched. It's definitely getting this person doxxed to USCIS14
I fucking hate this cute little hack my company thinks it's found where if they schedule a meeting at lunchtime in the lunchroom they think it counts as a lunch break11
Non-dev cringe. How diversity hires look like (gym presentation).
It was crowded in the evening. I've been training for an hour and on my last set of bench press. I'm exhausted and my arms are starting to shake. My coach knows this so he's holding the dumbbell by the ends while I still try to push and pull, just in case my arms give up.
In the middle of our training, this woman walked in and just started disrupting people's workout by constantly asking for help, permission, and just small talking guys while they are lifting weights. Now I don't know what kind of porn she's into but she's doing one of those gym porn scenes where the girl acts really dumb, flirts, and fake laughs. All sexy in porn but I now realize, boi it looks painful in real life.
Keep in mind, this is not a membership gym and this is my personal trainer. He's generally a nice guy and I have no problem with him helping others out during our sessions but this girl would ask for help right in the middle of something instead of waiting for our breaks and at some point, my coach stopped smiling because the girl has been treating him like an assistant and you know that thing that women do when they want to abuse you? The giggles and shit. But it looked awkward because he's married, uninterested, busy, and the girl doesn't even do anything, she just "hangs out".
She then moves on to this other guy who's in the middle of lifting weights and asks for permission if she can work out beside him. She giggles, the guy doesn't and he just stares straight into the mirror in front of him checking if he has the right form. She faces the mirror, does a few squats, thanks the guy for god knows what, and then walks out of the gym. This was during my cool down and they were right beside me so I can see/hear them.
I don't know what was on her mind. Maybe she's ovulating or some shit like that but it's very hard to focus when someone tries to talk to you while you're in the middle of something. Even the horniest guy at the gym would find you annoying if you can't wait for them to finish a set before asking for shit.17
i'm trying to set up paypal for my hosting thing and guess what it's the shittest experience i've ever had in setting anything up. shit's too confusing and those button things are easy to set up until you try to verify the fucking transaction which is when they tell you to install that shitty sdk with composer (which is also a shit program like "OOF FUCK YOU YOU CAN'T RUN THIS AS ROOT HAHAHAHAHAHAH IM A CUNT" then it doesnt work when you install it and then it does work but paypals sample code doesn't even work so you have nothing to build on then you try to make the thing yourself using the API instead of the SDK and that shit doesnt work ofc cause you need some dumbass token to be made every hour then when thats sorted you finally try to do your shit and it doesnt even find anything cause youve been using your "LIVE" account the entire time instead of some sandbox shit you didn't know existed and thats when you give up and go back to using shoppy for paypal but guess what FUCKER shoppy put a FUCKING CAPTCHA ON THEIR API SO WHEN YOU REQUEST ANYTHING FROM IT WITH PHP IT POPS UP AND DOESNT FUCKING WORK AND IMA KILL MYSELF NOW12
"Change your algorithm"
Answers like this are why Stack Overflow almost becomes worthless when asking questions. I asked for some clarification why my code, which reads some files and outputs another, was hitting System.OutOfMemory exceptions. And that was the response I got.
"Change your algorithm"
How? In what manner should I be seeking to change my algorithm? OBVIOUSLY I SHOULD CHANGE MY ALGORITHM YOU WASTE OF OXYGEN. That was a given by the exception my program threw!
I swear to god, SO has got to be one of the most unwelcoming, condescending sites on the internet.6
My weekend full of exhaustion and sleep is drawing to a close. Time to start a week full of exhaustion and struggling to stay awake at work.10
Fun day, lots of relief and catharsis!
Client I was wanting to fire has apparently decided that the long term support contract I knew was bullshit from go will instead be handled by IBM India and it's my job to train them in the "application." Having worked with this team (the majority of whom have been out of university for less than a year), I can say categorically that the best of them can barely manage to copy and paste jQuery examples from SO, so best of fucking luck.
I said, "great!," since I'd been planning on quitting anyways. I even handed them an SOW stating I would train them for 2 days on the application's design and structure, and included a rider they dutifully signed that stated, "design and structure will cover what is needed to maintain the application long term in terms of its basic routing, layout and any 'pages' that we have written for this application. The client acknowledges that 3rd party (non-[us]) documentation is available for the technologies used, but not written by [us], effective support of those platforms will devolve to their respective vendors on expiry of the current support contract."
Contract in hand, and client being too dumb to realize that their severing of the maintenance agreement voids their support contract, I can safely share what's not contractually covered:
- Stream based programming
- Angular 9
- Any of the APIs
- Dotnet core
- pretty much anything not in a commit
I'm a little giddy just thinking about the massive world of hurt they've created for themselves. Couldn't have happened to nicer assholes.7
In the before time (late 90s) I worked for a company that worked for a company that worked for a company that provided software engineering services for NRC regulatory compliance. Fallout radius simulation, security access and checks, operational reporting, that sort of thing. Given that, I spent a lot of time around/at/in nuclear reactors.
One day, we're working on this system that uses RFID (before it was cool) and various physical sensors to do a few things, one of which is to determine if people exist at the intersection of hazardous particles, gasses, etc.
This also happens to be a system which, at that moment, is reporting hazardous conditions and people at the top of the outer containment shell. We know this is probably a red herring or faulty sensor because no one is present in the system vs the access logs and cameras, but we have to check anyways. A few building engineers climb the ladders up there and find that nothing is really visibly wrong and we have an all clear. They did not however know how to check the sensor.
Enter me, the only person from our firm on site that day. So in the next few minutes I am also in a monkey suit (bc protocol), climbing a 150 foot ladder that leads to another 150 foot ladder, all 110lbs of me + a 30lb diag "laptop" slung over my shoulder by a strap. At the top, I walk about a quarter of the way out, open the casing on the sensor module and find that someone had hooked up the line feed, but not the activity connection wire so it was sending a false signal. I open the diag laptop, plug it into the unit, write a simple firmware extension to intermediate the condition, flash, reload. I verify the error has cleared and an appropriate message was sent to the diagnostic system over the radio, run through an error test cycle, radio again, close it up. Once I returned to the ground, sweating my ass off, I also send a not at all passive aggressive email letting the boss know that the next shift will need to push the update to the other 600 air-gapped, unidirectional sensors around the facility.11
So... This company was in trouble. They hire me to help fix things and build this nice new stack to get rid of their old legacy monster application.
I'm there for three weeks when one of their top investors storms in. Apparently they are turning less profit than they told me during my interview. (Yeah, it is one of the things I always ask, even thought I don't always get an answer).
So this investor/shareholder guy starts on this motivation speech which is basically a veiled threat that "we" need to do better.
Obviously he doesn't know anyone in the room other than the boss. And it was apparent, at least to me, he also has 0% knowledge of anything related to software development. The boss doesn't look to happy about having to let this happen.
Then the guy turns to me. He points his finger at me and demands to know how failing so badly makes me feel...
So I answered truthfully... "I've only been here for three weeks, so I don't think I've been failing too much, yet. Now, how long did you say you've been throwing money at this failure without getting the return you wanted?" Emphasizing the "you" by pointing right back at him.
That doesn't shut the guy up, but he does bring his "motivational" speech to a rapid close.
He doesn't bother saying goodbye when he stormed out again, not even to the boss, who looks a lot happier at this point.
Apparently the guy pulled this stunt every couple of months (or weeks, if he was bored enough). After this encounter, he apparently had enough of trying to "motivate" us developers. We I didn't see him again in the 2 years I worked with the company after that.
I got a pay raise the month after. Apparently that was totally unrelated to this incident... 😙🎵12
Manager: Why is no one innovating?
Me: You hired all of us based on culture fit so you have optimized only in that direction. Everyone is same ... like you
Manager: You are right.4
Ever since i joined my company, things are getting worse.
from small details like them abandoning team lunches to big ones like the fact no one or at least i didnt get any bonus this year.
I know for a fact bonuses were a thing before i joined and i was really looking forward to it...
And now by the end of the month we will recieve word about whether we are getting acquired or not...
After reading this rant one would think the company is getting bankrupt, and this worries me because this job was best i could ever ask for, i dont wanna abandon ship :/2
I am about to fire this client.
I can't take any more of this abject fucking stupidity.
I can't take any more sentence fragment responses to detailed questions and thorough responses.
I can't take any more expectations that I deliver consistent metadata and hundreds of pages of documentation, yet no one else has to do the same
I can't take any more rules only applying to/hamstringing me and my team
I can't take any more fucking gross incompetence and grossly undereducated shitfucks that get to send ridiculous bills and have 0 accountability while playing developer
I can't take any more obviously nepotistic and racist hiring that walks back every step of progress we've made in the last 50 years
I can't take not being able to call a spade a spade and being the villain when there's obvious graft occuring at every level
I can't take these old fucks padding their retirements while rendering everyone else contractors and cutting off opportunity for future generations
I can't take how absurdly, blisteringly stupid the business people are, or the fact that one average project managers with a recent PMI cert somehow bills what I do
I'm 100% going to drop dime on these fucks to every regulatory body they are beholden to, their investors, their corporate owners and USCIS, since I've already doxxed the shit out of all of my coworkers that don't remotely qualify for the positions they occupy.5
My friends rock bar. Was helping him out during a heavy weekend in which he was missing two bartenders, but told him I needed time during my stay there to finish some paid projects. He was more than happy to oblige. What made it unusual is that he normally had a lot of chicks in the office where I was(his office) doing my stuff and most of them were distracting af to say the least.
Ain't gonna complain, had all the free drinks in the world and babes all over the place. They would drop them titties to see if I was to get distracted.
Spoiler alert: i would get heavily distracted.
Best codimg session ever tbh, but i wouldn't do it again :P7
Heeeyyy, who likes to lay down in bed melancholically browsing the internet because they went to bed too early as a consequence of burnout?9
At the Ritz Hotel bar in London England. That client was charged an arm and a leg because I was attending my cousin's wedding and I had to tack on a fee for the $75 regular drinks.3
"We're promoting you to be a Team Leader, since you proved your skills to handle tough tasks and bring good solutions, and we're raising your salary by 25%."
That sounded good for me, until I realized that all they need is an interface between them (the boss) and other employees to force their style and monitor every fucking thing that could be different from a dev to another. But since the boss is a sEnIoR with mOrE tHaN 10 years of experience but he does not have any clue about good practices and how to make a code that does not push you to be humiliated by the client, he still thinks that he's the fucking programming God.
That's a shit12
So, I'm the only developer in a marketing firm. I was asked to develop the company website. The deadline was within a month. A full on CMS. When I was interviewed I told them that I'm more fluent in back-end development rather than UI design etc. So the company's designer started designing the website. Incomplete designs were given to me one week before the due date. I'm a fresh grad so I'm relatively new. So I used a website builder knowing that I can't code the whole CMS within a week. I asked them which they gave approval to knowing it was $16 a month.
I started making it using webflow. 2 pages in, I asked them to pay for the subscription because webflow allows 2-3 pages for the free version. When the time to pay came, they were like, "wow, $16? That's a lot every month for just a website". Keep in mind, it's not that they don't have the money. Just cheap. This was like 5 days before the deadline and they said it's too expensive and asked me to code everything by myself. And gave an extension for a few months.
I said okay and started development. I said we would still need to spend on a cloud instance for deployment which would be like $6 monthly. My manager asked me is there a way to not pay monthly and pay like $100 and get one for lifetime. I facepalmed so hard. I tried explaining to him cloud-server costs are either monthly/yearly or pay-per-use basis. He told me maybe because I'm new I don't know and go to do some research on it. I researched and the only solution was to buy a server which costs $100++ monthly. I sent him the costs in a document which he did not even bother to read.
That was back in November last year. Fast forward to February. I've coded the website thrice. The design keeps changing every week. The design is still not complete. And they are saying I'm not eligible for a promotion because the website is still not done. It pisses me the fuck off. It's not my fault it's not done. The designers haven't done the design, the manager can't decide on shit. I'm just here because it's my first job out of uni and I thought it might be a good experience, but honestly right now the way they are treating me it pisses me off.5